When it comes to big goals, like quitting smoking or writing a book, author Euny Hong recommends you zip your lips. “The declaration of intention paradoxically reveals the lack of intention,” she writes. If you’re working on a project, Euny suggests a vow of silence until you’ve seen it through.
Read snippets of her piece at Quartz:
Why does talking about a big goal, such as writing a book or quitting smoking, sabotage your ability to complete it? Because every time you talk about an unfinished project with someone, you are tricking your brain into thinking you’ve done some of the work. Talking about writing a book gives you the same mental fatigue and satisfaction that you’d get from actually writing for an hour. It’s demotivating.
One of the biggest mistakes people make in life is assuming that intangibles are in greater supply than money. All resources are finite — all of them — including the three traits that separate people who finish books from people who don’t: ambition, stamina, and your ability not to tire of hearing your own ideas. (Note that I did not include “writing ability” as an essential trait. Talent is a nice thing to have, but is literally not even tertiary in importance.) All three of these resources get depleted every single time you talk about your book.
Do you agree or disagree? And in this world of blogging, social media updates, and constant sharing and documentation, is staying silent still possible? Share your take in the comments.
At some point, it is most likely to be true somehow. I think I already found out why some of my plans fail because I keep on telling them to others.
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I don’t think that’s impossible, but this blog surely made me think. And it’s true, declaring your goals is demotivating in some way, it gives us the false satisfaction that we’ve taken a step towards it. I really really agree to what you’ve written.
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Something to think about
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sorry for vivimz! So don´t keep on telling, you can say: “Thanks for the help, I need no further help. And keep the rest as a secret!” That will work.
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Haha sure it will !
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Noted! Thank you!
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I completely agree- I find it’s very true with all of my own projects but it’s very hard to keep silent about such things. Perhaps it’s about striking the perfect balance
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I think i have been through this….. Fooling myself to believe that I am making progress.
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Wow, I’m actually guilty of this and you are right; it make feel like I’ve gone far with the project when I just started. I really need a mouth zipper
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I don’t necessarily agree with this. Talking about it helps the book become a reality. It really takes a committed writer for it to be more than just talk.
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well Sahara, commitment is in any case the prerequisite that your project is successful. If you are not committed, then you do not need to write anyway.
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Thank you so much for your article!
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awesome advice I totally agree!
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I think it’s great to share certain things, but not everything. Goals are a very personal thing and typically I find when sharing goals is when you are looking to outside support and encouragement. We are in a world where we have been conditioned to share everything about ourselves, maybe for validation, for the attention. We take pictures of ourselves, our food and literally share everything on social media. While I share my thoughts and share accomplishments, I do not share my biggest goals. I believe it sets up more failure than accountibility. Just my thoughts
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Awesome post! Fascinating perspective. It might depend on the person, but I will test this theory.
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I’ve totally been guilty of this!
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Thank you so much for sharing this thought !
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I completely agree. I think talking about the potentially lofty goal of writing a book as you work or even before you work, sabotages yourself. The experience should be organic, and sharing it with others who may seek to follow your progress (or lack thereof) turns it into a chore.
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It’s unfortunate but I agree about sharing information. I’ve found that people tend to share all of their negative (unsolicited) advice when you tell them your ideas. I find myself not saying anything about what I am working on until it’s pretty much close to being done. It’s stressful enough trying new things. People pushing their fears on you doesn’t help the situation.
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well, As far as I reckon and my experience says that virtually you’re deserved every praise with your spectacular post
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I agree. When I was writing my first novel this past year I didn’t really let anybody know. I didn’t do it purposely though, I think it was more that I wanted to it to be complete before anyone knew I tried to achieve this goal.
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Interesting. I mostly agree with this. Talking about my novel in progress does seem to satisfy some of the urge to work without my actually getting the work done. At the same time, a little talk lights a fire under my behind. Once I’ve put it out there to people I respect that I’m working on a novel, how can I slack off?
You mentioned talent not being very important to the whole writing process. I whole-heartedly agree. Not because talent isn’t swell, but because I think the right kind of hard work usually trumps talent (talent combined with the right kind of work is a whole other ballgame). I also think talent can be grown.
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Very true. My past attempt kept having others asking whether they are in it and so on…. tossed the project.
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I’ve never thought of it that way but this is so accurate. Definitely changed my thinking on my biggest goals, and every little tidbit helps! thank you for sharing. 🙂
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I am totally guilty. This is so true for me. I’ve been trying to keep quite about any projects I have going on. If I do tell anyone it’s only a couple of people who can help me along the way.
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Your insight into the mind set of a writer is right on! Keeping my mouth shut about anything is difficult much less my writing ideas. Thank you for putting these observations into words and publishing.
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Yep! Totally guilty of this, Trying to be more About it then Talkin’ about it! LOL
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