Feb 26, 2015 / Beginner

Drawing Boundaries: How to Keep Your Blog from Complicating Your Life

Find the sweet spot for sharing just enough.

Photo via <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/thebountifulbird/">TheOrangeOne</a>

My name is Elizabeth Urello, and as far as I know, I am the only Elizabeth Urello in existence. This is great for branding purposes, but terrible for anonymity: I am highly Googleable. I often think that I would take more risks online if my name were, say, Elizabeth Jones. But it isn’t, so I’m pretty careful about what I choose to share online.

But at the same time, I don’t want to be too careful, either: the internet has been good to me. After all, I make my living working for a blogging platform!

Every blogger has to use their own discretion about what and how much to share online. Share too much and you could get into trouble with your friends or family, or with your job. Share too little and you risk remaining a stranger to your readers, which makes it rather difficult to gain a healthy following. Blogging is personal.

So how much is too much? It’s different for everyone, but here are a few things to consider.

Work

Before I worked for WordPress.com, I never blogged about any of my jobs, except in the most general terms. I never named where I worked on my blog, so that I didn’t risk HR getting angry about something I’d shared publicly. And I assumed that my coworkers and boss had googled me and were reading my blog, so I never wrote anything I wouldn’t want them to see.

Sometimes, however, if there was something really funny that happened at work, I’d obscure it sufficiently that I felt comfortable writing about it. For example, I might tell the same story but set it somewhere other than work, or flip the genders of the people involved, or add or subtract certain details.

That’s me, though! For some people, sharing their work life is the entire point of their blog. They might use their blog for networking or professional development, or they might have a humor site about their industry. But even bloggers who write exclusively about work still think carefully about what they share about it — and you should, too!

Assume that everything you write on your blog will be read by all of your past, current, and future bosses, coworkers, and clients.

Family and Friends

Most of us write about the people in our lives; our blogs would be pretty dull otherwise. But your family and friends didn’t necessarily sign up to have every aspect of their lives exposed online. What to do?

  • Use first names, initials, or pseudonyms. I frequently use first initials for my “civilian” friends (“B. and I got coffee the other day”). Many bloggers use nicknames or pseudonyms; for example: “Things are still progressing with The Boy;” “the Ballerina has adopted yet another dog;” or “the Successful Brother came to visit last weekend.”
  • When it comes to children, err on the side of overly careful. Children are hilarious and adorable and make for great blog fodder. They’re also vulnerable and they can’t always speak up for themselves. When blogging about kids, be sure to always keep in mind their dignity and safety.
  • If in doubt, ask! If your mother tells you a fascinating story about her grad school years, ask her if she’d mind if you shared it with your readers. If your best friend had a horrible blind date, ask him if you can blog about it. On the flip side, if your wife declares “You cannot blog about this!” directly after falling on her face at the grocery store, well, better respect her wishes.

For more on this, see Michelle’s earlier post on writing about family.

Personal Safety

Travel is one of my favorite blog topics and luckily, I get to travel a fair amount. But at some point, it occurred to me that it might not be a great idea for me to announce my travel plans on my blog in advance. For example, maybe don’t tweet this:

Bought a new car & a sweet big screen TV, but they’ll be chillin’ in my empty house for the next 2 wks while I party in Hawaii! #humblebrag

I write about my travels after I get home. Other things to consider:

  • Don’t post your street address. And depending on the type of blog you have, you might not want to post a photo of the front of your house.
  • Consider carefully before posting where your kids go to school, or details about their daily routines.
  • Meeting a blog reader for the first time IRL? Awesome! It’s probably wise to meet somewhere publicly and let a friend or family member know your plans.

For more tips on the technical aspects of managing your online identity, check out Michelle’s post, Separating Blog You from You You.

Overall, approach the web with the idea that anything you write can and will be read by everyone you know. As long as you keep that in mind, you should be able to avoid unnecessary complications!

When it comes to online sharing, are you pretty private, or are you a wide-open book?

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  1. I’m highly Google-able.
    Plus, my blog is linked to my profile with the professional body I am registered with.
    All of that means that I am normally very careful with the details that I post. Or at least, I try to be.
    I also have separate blogs for my personal and business posts, although they are linked.

    When it comes to children – I have a very, very strict rule. Absolutely no images of children: my own or anyone else’s. This makes things a little difficult, as there are often cute free-for-commercial-use images on Flickr featuring children. When I do product reviews of baby products, I ensure that Baby is nowhere near the picture. And I do not mention her by name. Ever.

    For obvious reasons, my street address is also not available, although I pretty much don’t have another choice except to make some contact information available.

    I’d prefer to blog anonymously, since I could be much more free with info I share then, as long as it is not personally identifiable.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Great information here, Elizabeth! I have a similar issue with my name. Google “Marie Gail Stratford” and you find–me. Google “Marie Gail” and you find–me. Google “MG Stratford” and you find–ME. Google “Marie Stratford” and you find both me and some poor woman who teaches literature in the UK and happens to share my first and last name (needless to say, anyone checking up on me can quickly discern which posts and pages are mine and which are hers). At first, this fact delighted me. It’s pretty easy for editors and clients to find me, and since I’m a web content writer, that can be a great thing. Then along came Facebook. Since I’m not great at keeping my personal opinion under wraps, it can be challenging to remember that I’m being watched by business associates and potential business associates that might have very different political and religious points of view. I ended up creating a couple pseudonyms so I could safely share some of my more controversial opinions without the red-hot glare of those who know or might want to know and do business with me.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. “Use first names, initials, or pseudonyms. I frequently use first initials for my “civilian” friends (“B. and I got coffee the other day”).” HAHA. Yeah, I do the same thing. All of my friends go by their initials when they’re around me đŸ™‚ I loved your article btw!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Sound advice,I decided to blog because I felt i wanted to share my daily experiences. I have two blogs one about my daily experiences of life so it is an honest blog about my life. However it it happens that my postnis about my friends or familytheir names are never mentioned. I did tell those close to me that Iwas blogging about my life so there are no surprises there.
    My second blog is specifically about an event which changed my life completely.Here again it is an open account of what happen. I agree that the writer determines what appears on the blog site!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hey thank you for all these cautious and essential tips. It can be easy to get myself carried away when it comes to writing an article you’re overly excited about.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. New to blogging, often surprised at the level of self disclosure about very personal stuff. The photos of the kids, the home, the plans for the weekend.
    Am I just too old and suspicious I have asked myself numerous times. This article really has let me know that my instincts are spot on.

    One thing I have done is that I am blogging using my name. I wanted to take responsibility for my words and have the constant reminder that when I was about to push “PUBLISH” those words are connected to me ‘out there’ in the aether.

    Began the blog on Christmas Eve day 2014. I told myself that I would not tell anyone I actually knew or my family about the blog until I had one hundred followers. In my mind that would not happen for a year or more if it happened at all. Today the number hit 86 and I realized that soon I will have to send out those emails and postcards to family and friends announcing the blog. The amazing change is that my previous anxiety about this and putting up boundaries I thought would prevent it from happening are largely gone now …because of the supportive community I have found with WordPress and the 86!

    This article is an excellent. Thank you.

    Liked by 4 people

  9. I’m the same as you, try not to give names or I’ll change them. I have two children, I’ll refer them as my oldest and my youngest. Little better than calling them Thing 1 and Thing 2. lol

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I tend to be overly cautious on this topic. I don’t use names of anyone I know, and I greatly limit personal details. Once, I even briefly debated whether to use a certain photo because it showed a family member’s hand! Lol I’m new to blogging and am really enjoying it so far. There’s so much to learn! I really appreciate the helpful articles WordPress produces. Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. When it comes to blogging, I’m pretty private. I share all that I know about specific topics (what it’s like to hike in this particular mountain, what to expect after a glycolic acid peel, etc. etc.) but I shy away from details that are too personal. Blog You is definitely different from You You. đŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Really good post and well timed for me as I in the process of adding some more ‘personal’ info to my blog. I have toyed for a while as to even whether to include a photo of myself.

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    1. Yep, I hear you. It’s something I’ve struggled with too. As much as I want to be open, I don’t want to be too open. It feels a little bit like casting off the cloak of anonymity should only be done if you’re really happy with everything you put out there having the potential to come back and haunt you. I guess proceed with caution is a good idea. Still not sure if I want to show my face but perhaps the time is coming!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Totally agree! I think what you say about proceeding with caution is the golden rule. People/businesses etc… can Google search pretty much anything it seems these days so putting things out there that you are near enough 100% happy with is key.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. I understand about not saying to much and always consider who might be reading. I at times can feel squared for not over stating but I rather play it safe. Thanks for letting me relate.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Privacy is really important to me. One thing that I have found particularly useful for blogging and my site is to have a totally separate email account and contact details. I have done the same for my Instagram account. So although my name is out there I have a certain degree of control of what things are shared and where.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. I use pseudonyms too! It helps when you are writing about the people in your life and the experience, especially when shared on FB, can be quite blunt and obvious who you are talking about. Blogging should never be about shaming people or exacting revenge through your experience. Nobody likes to hear about your personal rant on how your bestie stole your boy. So keep it light and fun for all to enjoy! An example of where I only alluded to names and people here: https://itsdollydarling.wordpress.com/2014/09/19/tiny-harmless-phrases-like-be-realistic/

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Though I agree with most of your advice, I think that to assume everyone I know would read my blog would inhibit my creativity and my ability to be introspective to the point in which I can come to terms with difficult situations.
    I used to have my blog linked to my professional portfolio but then unlinked it and now use a pen name, as this allows me to write wholeheartedly.
    Maybe 4 or 5 people close to me know about my blog, but no one is subscribed to it.

    Like

  22. Great advice, especially that about children. I want to share enough with my readers that enables them to get to know me and what makes me tick but I’m also aware that my kids will grow up and don’t necessarily want someone to be able to read about their exploits in future years!

    Like

  23. My full name is highly googleable too, so I know how you feel about anonymity! When I used to travel and blog, I would write 3 months after the fact – kind of a rule of mine.
    Thanks for the tips!

    Like

  25. Nice and wise advice especially the bit about children. My blog is a bit satirical but I always make sure that my writing or whatever I put in it doesn’t offend or insult anybody. This is my main concern.

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