Nov 6, 2012 / Blogging Etiquette

Say Something: Commenting Etiquette

Previously, I wrote about how to drive engagement and build relationships on your blog through good comment moderation. Today, let’s talk about the other side of that: being a good commenter yourself. As Michelle pointed out, leaving comments on other people’s work is one of the best ways to lure others to interest others in your own site. But some comments are more effective at this than others. Here are some tips for how to win at commenting:

  • Read thoroughly. Before commenting, make sure you’ve read the entire post and the other comments before yours. Your comment should never make the writer (or the other readers) wonder if you actually read the material. Also, if your point is on target, it might have already been made by someone else – in which case, you can reply to that person’s comment!
  • Contribute something of value. Every post can be the start of a conversation. Try to add something substantial to move that conversation forward. Don’t get me wrong – most bloggers appreciate every comment, even if it’s just a simple ‘enjoyed this post.’ But a meatier response is more likely to result in visits to your own site.
  • Keep your comment comment-sized. If you have a lot to say on a certain subject, leave two or three representative sentences in the comment section, then link to a post on your own blog where you have expanded on the topic. This is a clever way to engage readers who share your interests.
  • Don’t leave shameless plugs. One of the top complaints in the comment thread on my last column was commenters who leave nothing but a link and a ‘thanks!’ There’s no shortcut to building a readership – intelligent and thoughtful comments are the way to go.
  • But do link to your correct site. If you leave intriguing comments, other people will want to check out your blog – so make it easy for them to find you! Make sure your website field is updated in your Personal Settings, so that your username links to your site. Upload an eye-catching Gravatar and fill out your Gravatar profile with your social media links and a short bio.
  • Mind your manners. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it in their comment thread. Criticism is fine, but there’s no need to be hateful. And remember, only a blog author can delete a comment, so if you comment in haste you might repent at leisure.
  • Be yourself. I’ve discovered many favorite blogs by becoming a fan of a certain commenter. Rather than any one comment, it’s the style and personality of a commenter that really makes me want to read more of their work. Whether you are smart, witty, or just plain bizarre – be you! No matter your perspective, a unique voice will get attention.

What type of comment catches your eye? Do you have a certain style of commenting yourself?

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  1. I find new blogs to read by clicking hyperlinked usernames on thoughtful comments on blogs like this.

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  3. Thank you so much for the tips. The shameless plugging is one that specifically irks me. Have they nothing to contribute to the conversation? Etiquette is a wonderful tool for building relationships, I wonder why people don’t use it properly more often.

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    1. Mass Coordinator, I like the idea of a spell checker. I always worry that something will slip past my eye. I read often and do not notice most typos, but I worry all the same that someone might think me stupid for making the error.

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      2. I have a spellchecker for the blog, but the comments are not checked. I could write comment on a processor app. first and transfer, but I don’t always have so much time as that.

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  6. I comment on blogs I find hostile. Particularly, I find those Christian blogs which hate gay people, and criticise their Biblical interpretation or theology or logic from a Christian point of view. I want them to know that there are Christians who feel differently. Sometimes, though, after being told I will go to Hell, I just try to wind them up.

    I believe in free speech, and would not want WordPress to censor them- or even me- as a hostile or incorrect blogger; but part of free speech is ridicule and contumely. I do not like anti-gay bloggers just getting away with views I hate.

    I also find Christian blogs friendly to LGBT, and seek to encourage them. And I have found blogs I have read from the beginning because I love what is written.

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  7. Non Shameless plugs are an art in themselves. I think the best way to develop it to pay comments forward. If you find a subject interesting, or find someone writing about the same subject as yourself recommend other blogs you think they might like. It’s a great start to building up your own blogging community . Use shared interests to build conversations.

    Does that make sense?

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  8. How’s this for anticipation? On 3rd November I posted an article I called: ‘The Etiquette of Visiting and the Whys and Wherefores of Stats.’
    Of course WordPress often gives encouraging talks about such matters but my article was influenced by a comment made by a fellow blogger about the shift in his priorities (I’d been feeling a bit low at the time and he is a very supportive type of person). His comments made me realise that I had been coming to the same sort of conclusions myself, and just needed a like-minded person to voice them, Responses made by my electronic friends to my article just confirmed to me that I am not alone in my thinking about the importance of community and the’ time that it takes to build up solid connections of your own.

    http://marysomnibus.wordpress.com/

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  9. At first I was not big fan of LIKE button. Now I understand practicality. What to say about a brilliant haiku, re-quotation or photograph. There are times to engage and times to just appreciate. Great post. Thank-you.

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  10. I wrote a post last week about ‘liking’ because my browser needed updating and I found I was unable to ‘like’. This meant I had to leave a comment after reading a post – even if that comment was ‘I like this post’.

    My post got a lot of hits and turned into a debate on whether or not people should ‘like’ and comment, or just ‘like’. It was a really interesting (and sometimes fiery) discussion!

    You can check it out here http://diannegray.wordpress.com/2012/10/28/what-is-a-like/

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  11. I remember getting into the habit, when commenting on Romi Moondi`s blog, of wishing her well in a fortune cookie kind of way, always related to the post`s subject: “May you find an equally intriguing and magical city as NY. Boston, maybe? I`m thinking Good Will Hunting meets Romi Be Writing” was my last one. She always appreciates little bits like that.

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  13. This is what I always like with WordPress. It gives all the support we need. Leaving links for related topics is a creative way of inviting readers to your site. Thank you for this one.

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  14. For a while I followed the blog of a writer who I liked very much. I’d comment on his blogs sometimes, keeping it brief, friendly, and conversational…and only once did he ever reply to me. And sometimes he only had two comments on his whole blog. Eventually I unfollowed him.

    I agree that the interaction will bring traffic to your own blog, but even beyond that, the sense of community that you build when you and your followers are all reading one another’s blogs and giving feedback is priceless. Replying to a comment and visiting other blogs are simple courtesies in my book.

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  15. I often don’t bother leaving comments because I get torn between having too little and too much to say, thank you for your list of tips

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  16. Also, if we’re talking etiquette, I’m wondering about the etiquette of ‘reblogging’. When I was a newbie I asked someone why she didn’t want to be reblogged. She explained to me that although it was a flattering way of saying ‘like’ it also meant that the attribution disappears after a couple of reblogs. So, to reblog or not? That is the question. What do people here think is the answer?

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  17. Thanks for this, it’s very helpful. I used to feel terribly bad when people just click the like but wouldn’t comment or just clicked it but didn’t really open or read the blogs. But now I understand and just make myself believe that it’s not them, it’s me. I should just make all the effort to make my blogs interesting and worthy to be even ‘clicked’ at. But for as long as I enjoy reading and looking at others’ blog, I’m fine 🙂

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    1. I really don’t understand the dislike of likes. Though some people may click like on a post they haven’t even read, I think most likers are well-intentioned and leave their like as a way of saying “I stopped by” or “I agree, but don’t have much to add.”

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      1. I agree, now I know, my apologies.
        That’s why I don’t feel that way anymore. Now, I appreciate everything, if its just the “likes”. That’s just what I used to feel, I apologize. Thank you for the enlightenment.

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  18. I must confess- I have NOT read all 111 comments prior to mine before adding my two cents. I do try to skim through some of the prior comments, but if there are many, I just can’t. I always try to congratulate Freshly Pressed bloggers who have caught my eye that day, and add something witty or positive about their post or their blog in general. I try not to shamelessly plug my own blog, but every now and then when I know I have a post that’s extremely relevant to the one on which I’m commenting, I confess that I do.

    The comments that catch my eye are the ones that say something clever or well-thought out about the post. The best part of comments is the way they build the blogging community. I feel like I really know my regular commenters, as if an old friend has dropped in for a visit, even though I don’t know most of them in real life.

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  20. I was able to scan through all these comments in exactly 30 minutes and I must say, it’s like going through Commenting 101 and 102 together with all the prerequisites and the extra-curricular wisdom, and I learned a lot. Thank you for this and all the comments.

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  21. I like comments that show the person even read something or looked at photos more closely as well as an unknown fact related to the blog post. My style: Sometimes I say alot, sometimes not.

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  23. I have to say “wow”–this was a great post AND engaging comments! As a ‘newbie’ blogger I know I am still learning the ropes but your tips–especially about making sure the profile is complete–will make a huge difference in my approach. Thank you to the many comments as well that opened my eyes to things I had not thought of (especially reverse reciprocity)….even if it took forever to read ALL of them!

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  24. Excellent tips! Have already started fleshing out my profile and I like the note about being yourself. I have a bad habit of trying to sound overly formal instead of just being me, which is frankly way more appealing to people. Stressed formality can be a turn-off.

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  25. If someone new “likes” a post of mine – and of course ALL my posts are VERY likeable! – without leaving a comment, I usually check out their blog, especially the “About” page. If there are a lot of comments on the “About” page from other people saying “thanks for liking my post, I’m liking you back”, I conclude that the “like” was just a bait to get me to visit their blog. Maybe I’m jumping to a wrong conclusion?

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  26. Здравейте!Намирам идеята за интересна. Но първо искам да споделя едно мое разочарование – виждам, че важната тема за децата ни вече е приключила Мисля, че бързо препускаме из интернет и това може да бъде за нас някой ден една лоша шега. Такава съм аз- често сълзлива Иначе съм голям образ- започнах да пиша коментарите си под мъжки псевдоним.После се усетих,че това може да предизвика смешно объркване и се представих в блога си като жена каквато съм Имам съвсем слаба компютърна грамотност обаче продължавам смело да действам. Няма да се учудя, ако направя някой сериозен гаф.Не зная дума английски, но това не пречи на моята самоувереност С една дума- като се вгледам в себе си и осъзнавам колко съм смешна И често пъти коментарите ми са съдбоносни и трагични Такава съм, за сега ще се зарадвам, ако се разделим с усмивка Пошегувайте се с мен- доста съм комична.

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  29. i have an amateur blog and my heart skips a beat when someone likes or comments. it’s sad to know though that people only do such things to showcase their blogs. i hope people are nicer than that.

    commenting too is something i am fond of, especially when i find a person very fascinating. the way a person writes tells more about him, prolly more than his about page could ever describe ’em! no to fake commenters! rawr.

    commenters unite. let’s make this blogosphere a better world. we hope! 🙂

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    1. Аз харесвам коментара на Бубу.Също смятам, че личностите са по-важни от блоговете Като че ли всички се интересуваме само от себе си.Аз съм в интернет, защото искам да общувам с хора от целия свят, да зная какви са техните вълнения и мнения Според мен трябва повече да контактуваме помежду си, да се опитаме да бъдем силна общност от личности

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  30. I have a self hosted blog, so I use WordPress software, but I don’t have access to some features like have a “Like” option on my posts. I used to envy the WordPress sites I would see that would get a lot of likes, but now I’m not so sure. While sometimes I would like to get those “likes”, it does seem as though some people abuse the system by just posting hundreds of “likes” on as many blogs as possible just to get their little gravatar icon on as many screens as they can.

    I do use the “like” button myself, but I try to limit it to just using it on photo posts, the weekly photo challenge for example. Otherwise, I try to leave a comment.

    One other thing. I do wonder if some people are just a little shy or apprehensive about leaving a comment ? Maybe some people are perfectly happy with their circle of friends they have developed with their blog and when they do come across a new blog maybe they are not so sure if they will be welcomed, so they just use the “Like” button instead of writing out a comment.

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