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Hello world. I have emerged from a writing blur and came up with this. It’s a beginning. But I need honest feedback here. Weaknesses and strengths https://any1mark66.wordpress.com/2017/01/23/who-enters/?preview=true
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Everything I say, of course, is entirely my personal opinion. Just keep this in mind XD
First thing I’d recommend is to tighten up your prose. Instead of bugging it down with “has peeled” and “has become” (where has is the verb) cut it down to “peeled” or “peels” and “become”.
Love the feel of your second paragraph.
Always prefer to show, not tell. Instead of stating “Roger stands up to tell the stranger with body language” show the reader how he does so. Does he stands up and square his shoulders, telling the stranger to beat him? Does he look like he’s just waiting for the stranger to make a move so he has an excuse to fight?
Typo: “Roger you apparently seem to have MET”, not meet
You seem to grow into your writing after this. Your voice and tone grow more consistent, surer.
Careful to not let dialogue become just a big block, though. There’s one big chunk that I’m a little confused about who’s talking. It’s good to add tags at the middle, to break this up and showing the character non-verbally.
Overall, a well written piece. I am not sure I care about any of the characters yet, though. They’re all similar, not sure if they’re all protagonists or who is really the main character. Keep on writing 🙂
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Thank you for the review. cant thank you enough for the edit work. 🙂 I don’t like the blocks of dialogue either. I will redo this and correct my tenses.
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No problem at all 🙂 Good luck!
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🙂
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I have a personal blog , I write a out social causes, relationships and various other things. Please check out and follow if you like what you see 🙂 I look forward to reading your blog too! https://jansdoodlesv3.wordpress.com/2017/01/22/the-boots-in-the-closet/
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You made some good points in your post. You might want to lessen the amount of passive voice in your writing. For instance, “It had struck me that every single boot was bought by me anytime I desired to have one” would be stronger as, “It had struck me that every single boot was one I had bought anytime I desired to have one.” https://gracelead.co
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Hello everyone!. I recently wrote an article about benefits of sugar wax. Pleas check it out and inform me if it’s informative and beneficial. Constructive criticism is welcome. I just want to improve my content.
https://inspirationbysundus.wordpress.com/2017/01/20/why-i-use-sugar-wax/
Thank You!
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Here’s my latest….enjoy!
https://oldhouseintheshires.com/2017/01/23/great-things-to-do-outside-with-your-children-right-now/
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I’m supporting my wife through IVF and as a coping method I’m blogging the whole thing. We recently found out that a close friend (who doesn’t know we’re having IVF) is pregnant; here’s the blog link:
I’d be interested to hear what you think – if you’ve got any suggestions for improvements, please drop me a line!
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Here’s a short story I wrote… Any feedback on this or past works highly valued 🙂
https://aglimpseoftruth.wordpress.com/2017/01/20/she-who-lives-in-the-wallpaper/
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I’m a fairly open-minded person but she is well-and-good creepy. You can officially remove the question mark after your “horror” tag. I especially appreciated your use of second-person narrative and that it was told from that horror’s POV. I think that is what added to the hair-raising. You definitely have a pretty unique style and yet I am reminded of Poe. Sort of stopped reading horror after college but suddenly I want to take out the old stash 🙂
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Awn, thank you so much for your nice comment, made my day 🙂
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Awn, thank you so much for your nice comment, made my day 🙂
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I thought you gave a previous poster really solid writing advice, so I’ve got a feeling you’re a pretty good writer yourself. I’ll be swinging by your blog.
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Very well written. Intriguing read. Might want to look at adding a few images here there in the blog. The visual appeal might help keep the readers interested from my opinion.
Feel free to browse through my page and share your thoughts on anything that interests you.
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Hello there fellow bloggers, I recently started my blog about traveling, amazing vegan food and all over happiness and self improvement. Would love to get some feedback as I am trying to grow my audience. Thanks so much, Cheers !
http://www.skveganinthecity.wordpress.com
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Nice use of photos, short & sweet posts, also.. pancakes 🙂 Keep it up!
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Hi all,
Hope you are having a good day.
Here is one of my latest posts. Its basically about knowing who you are and who you were created to be! Enjoy!
https://thetellerstales.wordpress.com/2017/01/22/what-god-was-thinking-of-when-he-made-you/
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I enjoyed your post. https://gracelead.co
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Hi! I am looking for people interested in doing a writing challenge. 🙂
Visit my blog and under writing challenge menu, select the ‘Rhyme With A Song’ option. Hope you like it 🙂
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Exposed! The Bravery of Weight Loss Surgery | Regina Bartlett
I’d love any feedback on this or any other if my posts. Thank you!
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Good read. Kudos to you for taking that step!
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Would love some poem ideas for plots, s’il vous plait!!!
https://literatureandstuff.wordpress.com
Merci beaucoup!!!
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Hey there, check out my latest post and tell me what you think!
Thanks 😀
~Harvey
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Harvey, that was a fun post. Math does seem like “magic” to some people. Your sense of humor is delightful. https://gracelead.co
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Hey everyone,My Landscape photography at Photography Re-defined. Hope you like it.
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Hello fellow bloggers! Today I would like to share my post called 10 Tips for Blogging. I also mention my previous blogging tips as well as introduce new ones. Please feel free to click the link and check it out.
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Another tip to share if you haven’t already is to use the WordPress Reader to find bloggers with similar interests. I’ve found some fascinating blog sites that way and gotten more traffic when I put likes and comments on their posts. https://gracelead.co
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That is a great tip! I’ll be sure to save that and use it for another issue. I’m still trying to familiarize myself with some of the featurs.
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I see engaging with other bloggers has already been mentioned. I’d also add the fact that adding pictures to your blog keeps readers engaged and makes it more interesting. Good tips nevertheless.
Feel free to browse through my page and share your thoughts on anything that interests you.
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Thanks for the tip! I agree that photos do make the blog more interesting and keeps the reader engaged. A photo can change the message of anything.
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Indeed
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Hello everyone! I would really appreciate it if you could spare some time and check out my blog. I’ve been blogging for a while, but I could still use some feedback on my content. Lately, I’ve been focusing more on poetry and thoughts on random subjects (Musing Monday). Here is a link to my blog
https://oceauxnic.wordpress.com
Thank you for stopping by 🙂
I hope you all have a great day! Peace and love, wonderful people!
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This is a snippet from the vast feeling called Love and these thoughts occured without any invitation and I jotted it down.#3rd attempt in poetry.Eager to receive feedbacks
And also you can stop by my latest one which will help you to ger a glimpse of North East India culture.
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2 weeks after the cold spell that hit Helsinki, I’m taking you out for a walk by -20°C. If you dare, pay me a visit at https://eiwawar.wordpress.com/ , you will not be disappointed 😉
I’ll be happy to hear your thoughts about my blog 🙂 Thank you
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Those are nice photos and the narrative was helpful. My favorite is purple hour. https://gracelead.co
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Brillant post and lovely photos.
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Hi! I’ve got a political blog that I recently started – I’d love any feedback!
https://leftsideoftheweb.wordpress.com/
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anamikaablog.wordpress.com/2017/01/17/wings
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I just popped by & commented, “Wings” is a lovely poem!
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Thanks a lot 🙂
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My pleasure…
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The western shore of Windermere in the English Lake District was home to children’s author Beatrix Potter. Its wild uplands are also said to be haunted by the tortured spirit of a Cistercian monk, whose blood-curdling cries lured ferrymen to their doom. On this walk through these atmospheric woods, I recount the ghostly legend and consider how Potter’s legacy stretches way beyond her enchanting books. In doing so, I was trying to evoke a feeling of light and shade. Do you think it works?
http://www.lakelandwalkingtales.co.uk/claife-heights-and-sawrey/
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I loved your post and the accompanying photos. It’s rather long though, perhaps you could have split it into a series of posts with a common theme. Good stuff.
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Many thanks for reading and your kind words. It could work as a series of small, bite-sized blog posts. However, I think it would fragment the idea of following a walk you could then plot on an OS map and follow yourself. I’ll keep your comments in mind though – always open to constructive suggestions. Thank you and glad you enjoyed the photos.
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Fair point. Some walk!
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Hello everyone ,please do check out my new blog post .would love to have your valuable comments 🙂
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My satire publication, the Fauxhasset Paroder, has received its first outraged letter to the editor. Hard to believe it took this long, really. Strange symbol found in basement of new condos may herald zombie apocalypse, according to local abbot.
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In a way, you can take it as fan mail 🙂 At least you know people are reading your articles. https://gracelead.co
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Hey everyone! I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on my latest blog post, which is about my thoughts on Donald Trump from my perspective as a journalism student. I’d be more than happy to check out your blog in return! Happy Monday 🙂
https://sherinaspeaks.wordpress.com/2017/01/22/being-a-journalism-student-in-the-age-of-trump/
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hey guys,
I would love some of your thoughts on my pointless thoughts! 🙂
https://thosepointlessthoughts.wordpress.com/
A thought from,
Those Pointless Thoughts
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Thanks for all of the feedback last week on my blog. One of the people who did comment on my book review is going to receive a free book. This person was the only one to comment on the review and not just like it. I love the likes, but I made the deal based on comments. I’ll be publishing the winner on my blog tonight! Keep writing and swimming in the community pool. 📗
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I’m still trying to find my voice and tone with this blog. I’d love some feedback on my latest (or any other) post.
Cheers 👍
https://theslingsta.wordpress.com/2017/01/23/cyber-crimes-and-suspicious-minds/
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You post was a good read. It’s getting scary out there. https://gracelead.co
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Thanks. Scary indeed!
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Very interesting post. Kinda scary because I’m probably the last person to pay attention what I get on. I like how you write. I’ll definately read more
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Thanks Chris! I appreciate your comments 👍
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New post! Would love some feedback! Glad to return the favor!
http://onanothercoast.wordpress.com
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Your blog is fab! What a life to lead at such a young age….loved the New York post. I soooo want to go. Well done. Happy blogging!
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Thank you so much! 🙂
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I just had a look and enjoyed reading your new post! Your pictures are gorgeous and your writing style invites the reader on your adventures!
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Thank you so much 🙂
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You are giving me a serious case of travel envy! Love it!
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Thank you so much! Can’t wait to read up on your page!
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I have a question for the community. Last week I experienced several issues with WordPress that keep continuing and stay unresolved. I detailed the experience, and I’d like to know if any of you have had similar experiences. If you like the piece, please click the “like” button on the post page. Comments and feedback are always welcome, and please leave them in the comments section of the post page as well. If you like what you see, feel free to browse around, and follow along so you don’t miss anything as I post several times a week. Thanks in advance.
Drew
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I’ve been using WordPress for over a year and have not had any serious issues. Compared to other products such as Google, Word Press has been fairly reliable for me. https://gracelead.co
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Hello,
Sorry to hear you’ve had a frustrating experience with your posts not appearing where they should. While you’re always welcome to reach out to our Happiness team via Twitter, I’d also recommend help@wordpress.com, as it’s normally faster for the team to locate your account — and the site and/or posts in question — through that medium.
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I just write about my life and thoughts. I’m divorced, still single, 40something… I feel a bit lonely over here with no stoppers by!
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You sound like my sister. She’s always coming up with all these adventures for us to go on. She too is single and bored by my preference to stay at home and do family stuff or “older” activities as you put it. I can sense her frustration, as I can yours in your writing. I’ve also been in a similar situation. It’s always difficult when friends grow out of each other, so to speak. But sadly, that’s life. All we can do is try to look forward with hopeful anticipation of the next adventure seeker to cross your path. I genuinely hope the new gal becomes a lifelong friend. West wishes.
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Thank you for stopping by!
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looking forward to reading more 🙂
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Hello! Here’s a free-form rambling piece that I wrote recently while studying for finals. Was definitely in an…interesting state of mind at the time haha.
Let me know what you guys think 🙂
https://sonderwriter.wordpress.com/2017/01/20/last-sprint/
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