Jan 13, 2016 / Beginner

Beyond Me, Myself, and I: Four Ideas for Escaping the First-Person Bubble

Even when writing about yourself, there’s room for other voices in your prose.

Blogging, by definition, requires an individual voice and an individual perspective from which to share your take on the world. It’s that specificity that makes personal reactions to current events — like, say, the passing of David Bowie — that much more interesting than a dry news account, however well sourced.

As writers, we embrace this liberty to be ourselves, (rhetorical) warts and wrinkles included. But we also run the risk of turning a personal perspective into a myopic one. The difference often lies not so much in what we write, but in how we write it. If you ever worry about appearing narcissistic and self-involved on your blog, don’t change the topics you write about — change the mechanics of discussing them. Here are a few ideas.

Control the beginning of your sentences

You might be talking about your charity work, expressing your admiration of another writer, or remembering how small and insignificant you felt upon visiting the Great Wall of China. It doesn’t matter: if every single sentence you write (or even every paragraph) begins with an “I,” your readers will likely conclude that it’s all about you, and grammar will be on their side.

One notable exception is when you use a repeated “I” for rhetorical effect — no editor would ever touch “I came; I saw; I conquered,” and not just because it was Julius Caesar who came up with it.

It’s inevitable, of course, that some sentences would begin with a first-person pronoun. Which is why you should always try to save these for when you really need them. You’ll gain not just a less self-centered narrative, but also a less monotonous one: few things lull readers into boredom more efficiently than a long series of “I did this, then this, and I think that about this, and I believe this about that.”

Experiment with being a Jimmy

If you’re of a certain age — or of a rudimentary level of appreciation for 90s culture — you will have crossed paths with episode 105 of Seinfeld, a.k.a. “The Jimmy.” The character from the title is notable for one thing: he keeps talking about himself in the third person (“Jimmy’s got a compound fracture! Jimmy’s going into shock!”). He’s hilarious, but also the most annoying person in an episode full of awful misanthropes.

So it might come as a surprise if I encourage you to experiment with writing about yourself… in the third person (there’s a term for it: illeism). You don’t have to use your name all the time — or at all — like poor Jimmy; a pronoun works just fine. The idea is to treat yourself like an omniscient narrator would treat a fictional character: the distancing effect is not only intriguing for the reader (who may or may not realize at first who it is you’re writing about), it also allows you to say a lot more about yourself without sounding too self-absorbed.

Quote other people

In a piece that focuses on your own take on things — which describes roughly 87.2 percent of blog posts — you can earn a pocketful of first-person credits by borrowing the voices of others and injecting them into your prose. It’s not just the variety that will make your writing more appealing; it’s also the inherent generosity of making room for someone else, of stepping out of the spotlight, however momentarily.

One easy — and satisfying — way of making your post more polyphonic is by introducing snippets of dialog. Blogger Emily E. Hogstad did just that in a moving post about music and her mother’s death. It’s a very personal piece clearly anchored in Emily’s experience of her mother’s illness and passing, but it never feels hermetic, as it’s full of other speaking, feeling characters:

“Take this one,” I said, sitting on the bed next to her and pointing to her open palm where I had set the pill.

“Which one?”

“That one,” I said, and I pointed again.

“But there’s two,” she said, and the implication of what she’d just said made me nauseous.

“Something’s wrong,” my aunt finally said, and although I was having a hard time admitting it, she was right.

These moments can take many other shapes: you might quote a line or a paragraph from a post by another blogger, or from an article or book you recently read. Consider embedding a video that contains a song, a speech, or a movie scene that relates to the topic at hand. Or mention — and link to — a comment someone left you on another post. Done well, you won’t be receding out of view at all; your personality and perspective will simply manifest themselves obliquely, through your choices and your tastes.

Open-letter all the things

Actually, don’t. A well-executed open letter can be fun and engaging, but it’s also become a bit of an overused trope. The reason for the form’s popularity, however, has nothing to do with its letter-ness (how many bloggers who penned one had recently sent an actual letter?) and everything to do with its direct, second-person appeal. And nothing stops you from using the second person in any post, regardless of its genre or format.

Mix in a paragraph written in the second person between a couple of first-person ones, and you’ll get a change of rhythm and a refreshing dose of urgency and immediacy in your writing. Lily Zacharias deployed this technique in a recent post criticizing the use of the adjective “humbled” on social media — and her already-sharp post really came together when she turned heavily to the second person in the final half.

No matter who the subject of those sentences happens to be — the President? Your mom? Yorick’s skull? — your readers always put themselves, however subtly (or even subconsciously), in the position of the person you’re addressing. Which means their ears will likely be more attentive than if you’d just go on with “me me me.”

Do you ever get frustrated writing in the first person — or reading prose written that way? Do you worry about focusing too much about yourself in your blogs? Share your thoughts in the comments (yes, the first person is more than appropriate here!).

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  6. Relentless and thorough. As a beginner blogger, it s great to be a part of this community. Thank you Mr. Ben, I need this gentle pat on my back. do visit my blog – artverdant.wordpress.com

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I certainly have embedded hopefully a useful video clip from somewhere else. Some readers have clicked…enjoyed it. No, I’ve never the open letter. Seems redundant. After all, a blog is “open” to the world to read.

      Liked by 2 people

  11. Food to chew on: No, I’ve never considered if my first person “I” was too much. I don’t blog that frequently, so readers probably want human touch of blogger. I include researched linked articles on the Internet to complement with other perspectives or more info. There are times I even think I overdo the research part for a personal blog.

    I only blog 1-2 times per month and genuinely want to make my blog a legacy of my experiences and best thoughts, with some commenter interaction.

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Hi Ben,

    Very good points, as the era changes so very fast these days, it is an ever changing dictionary for a start!
    I myself was straight in need to write regards Bowie’s death especially the synchronicities between his, and Lemmy’s death, it was instant, the day the news broke, and was all I could do to make the surreal, resonate into the reality of it all.

    Immortal Beings Defying Immortality. http://wp.me/p6Vgk6-ed

    Blessings
    Dorn

    Liked by 3 people

  14. As a brand new blogger, these tips are very much appreciated. I have worried that my blog is egocentric, and have tried to include a couple of these techniques already. I’m glad to be on the right track. Thank you!

    Liked by 4 people

  17. Agreed, very helpful and informative. I seem to sometimes wrestle with putting enough of myself in and being more vulnerable. Even though a lot of what I’ve written/write comes from personal insight I tend to use more third person audience conscious style for that exact reason of seeming like it’s all about me.

    Liked by 5 people

  19. I don’t really get your point about Lily Zacharias’ blog writing in second person. She did so with one short paragraph and the rest of her entire blog was written in first person. This is a very educational post, but I think you used the wrong example on that one.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. This is a very interesting advice. This aspect of writing never crossed my mind. This might be the reason why so many blogs, Vlogs and other such platforms can come to sound so self absorbed even if the topic of discussion might not be so. I definitely like the Dialogue idea. A dialogue instantly catches your attention, as you can so easily visualize the conversation in your mind.

    Liked by 7 people

  26. I do worry about sounding too self-absorbed, but many of my posts are self-exploratory. I try to write them unapologetically and remind myself that I have to get through those posts — and not only write them, but publish them, in order to get to more meaningful posts that might attract a larger audience.

    When I write I almost always to link to another article or post or source of information, and I love to include quotes. The other points you make are going to be helpful as I improve my writing.

    I, I, I, I, I, appreciate it!

    Liked by 4 people

  28. This is incredibly valuable, specifically as I think about “I” versus “you” and other such devices. Helpful to make us pause and think about it. WordPress should develop logic that highlights some of these things while we’re typing! 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  29. Appreciated the piece! I had to watch a few more Seinfeld clips! They brought me back! “You double dipped the chip!” George and Timmy use the first and second person to great effect! (I had a former co-worker who mentioned she didn’t like too many exclamation marks when reading, and what she said has stuck in my mind…)

    Liked by 4 people

  30. One of the things I like about me statements and I statements is that the speaker takes full responsibility for her/his ideas and statements. Quotes and passive statements deny that responsibility for the ideas expressed. I want to be responsible for what I say b/c it IS MY THOUGHT PROCESS that is being expressed. Is there an alternative way to do that?

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I respect your take, but beg to differ — I think that having a compelling (writing) voice makes your statements your own whether you write in the first, second, or third person. I agree that passive constructions can sometimes make an author sound shifty, which is why I’d recommend using them in moderation, but that’s a separate (if very important!) issue.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. “Egotism” is the rhetorical device of using “I” often as the first word of a sentence. Then the frequent use of it through a piece makes the piece generally “egotistic.” The trouble with using “I” too much is that it shows in the writer too much subjectivity in his story, perhaps his entire world view. This can equate to an inability to be objective and convey meaning to another making the piece “unavailable” to a reader. On the other hand, a reader can sit, as it were, in the Mind of the writer, who narrates in the first person singular, which may make the reading exciting or more interesting in some way. But writing is often boring if the use of “I” is constant. Finally, the development of style benefits when a writer looks for alternatives.

      Liked by 2 people