Dec 3, 2015 / Inspiration

Boy, Is My Face Red

Publishing an embarrassing story can be both liberating and satisfying.

I have an admission to make: sometimes when I read your blog posts, I get a little jealous. Your amazing recipes, workout plans, gorgeous families, and home renovations make my average life pale in comparison. When I feel this way, I sometimes wish I had a modicum of perfection, or some wild successes to share. I know I’m not alone. Blogs and other social media can give us “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence” syndrome. The funny thing is, as much as I enjoy following sites that make me swoon with admiration, I absolutely love reading posts that depict life’s imperfections even more.

I couldn’t appear perfect with a team of well-oiled public relations consultants working around the clock to hone my image.

The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.
-Douglas Engelbart

So what’s a girl to do when she’s got no hope of being anyone’s green-grass-on-the-other-side-of-the-fence? I write about the embarrassing moments… the moments that make me want to stick my head in the sand. Why do I publish stories that logic tells me to hide? It takes away the power of those awful experiences when I admit them to the world. It’s cathartic. And, if I’m lucky, telling these stories will make people laugh, which I love to do.

Nothing goes away on the internet. Once we share something in cyberspace, it can hang around forever. That’s why many of us don’t want to publicize our weaknesses and missteps. On one hand, we want to be open and honest with the world… on the other, we have to be protective of ourselves and consider our futures. This leads a lot of bloggers to publicize their wins, but keep their losses private. 

What’s the worst thing that could happen if we all wrote about our most embarrassing moments?

What if a potential employer were to read about the time a Buddhist monk witnessed my husband and me arguing atop a Zen meditation bridge in an otherwise-silent botanical garden? (I wish the argument had been about something more meaningful than whether or not we’d eat Indian food for dinner that evening.)

The embarrassment of a situation can, once you are over it, be the funniest time in your life.
-Miranda Hart

What if my in-laws learned about the time I walked around for over an hour with my entire skirt tucked into the front of my underwear while I was window shopping in Beverly Hills? (Any one of a hundred people could have signaled me that I was inadvertently flashing the world.)

What if a new friend found out that I accidentally hit “reply all” on an email in which I called one of the people on the recipient list a “human sleeping pill” and “so boring, she’d make an oil painting yawn?” (This still makes me feel awful a decade later.) 

There. I just told you three events that were horrible when I experienced them, and I’m still here! The world hasn’t swallowed me whole.

There’s something liberating about not pretending. Dare to embarrass yourself. Risk.
-Drew Barrymore

Why do I love sharing embarrassing stories more than touting my successes? Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment (or a gluten for punishment, as I typed before autocorrect saved me). Maybe in a world filled with pictures of perfectly-iced cakes, well-dressed children, and six-pack abs, I feel stressed out and disingenuous if I try to compete. But when I tell stories of the sales tags I’ve worn on clothes to job interviews, or how I tried to climb onto a horse for the first time — and immediately fell off the other side of the same horse seconds later — I feel as if I’m being to true to who I am, and I’m trusting my readers to accept me as I am.

Here’s another bonus: if we write about our blunders, we’ll never run out of material!

It’s scary to do this sometimes. Anytime we post to our blogs, we open ourselves up to public critique. We are putting ourselves into the hands of friends and strangers and telling them, “I trust you with this piece of me.” Blogging is already a brave activity, without the addition of opening ourselves up to ridicule. Being candid and genuine is a far more impressive feat than putting forth the perfected version of ourselves. 

If blogging about awkwardness makes you squeamish, check out this amazing post. Do you judge these folks, or do you laugh in commiseration?

Next time you’re trying to decide whether or not to post the picture of your kids screaming while you tried to take the photo for your holiday card, or the Spongebob cake you made that looks more like a giant piece of melted swiss cheese, know this: I wanna see those real moments. Many of us would. Not because we want to laugh at you, but because we want to laugh with you. Because we humans relate to one another through our imperfections. 

Are there any embarrassing stories you’ve censored yourself from sharing, but you’ve always wanted to tell? If so, what’s holding you back?

blushemojis1

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  4. I totally agree. It’s the imperfections and struggles that makes us interesting and make us grow. I think everyone is quietly looking for the imperfections in others to reassure themselves that with their “imperfectness,” they are normal.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey, I loved what you have written. It’s very true. It’s why I like reading contemporary books too that are more human than literary. They’re fun, real and relatable.
    Here’s my blog http://www.thecocoonchronicles.wordpress.com just in case you want to go through the sometimes green, sometimes burnt to a crisp by heat and sometimes chomped off by merciless cattle grass on my side of the fence.. 🙂

    Looking forward to reading more from you.

    Like

  7. I, too, love writing about embarrassing shit and find that it frees other people to be real. Thank you for this great post!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. That was so inspiring to me. You gave me a lot of ideas and you stepped out of boundaries in which acceptable norms are unpleasant. I love how you accept who you really are despite all this embarrassing moment in your life. You have a lot to share 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I like the humanity that shows through in your writing. Its lovely to meet someone so genuine.
    Ok, confession time!
    This is the first time I’ve used any kind of social media, let alone commented on something and this had been a pleasant experience.
    Literally only had a wordpress account for about half an hour.
    I appreciate you article.

    Like

  13. I’ve found that it’s so easy to find the humor in everyone else’s situation. Unfortunately, the closer the situation gets to me or my immediate family not so much. However, the day that I am able to look at my family and life and just allow myself a good belly laugh about it all, will be the day that I am truly free!

    Liked by 2 people

    2. My greatest achievement this year has been to post one story and NOT go back and edit it – at least twice. The public eye gives me remarkably embarrassing attention to detail that wouldn’t otherwise catch my eye. :>

      Liked by 2 people

  18. Love this and what it reveals about you. I’m so envious! I’m a terribly shy introvert and rarely write about myself, much less my embarrassing moments. My rationale is that everything I write, for better or worse, is me, my thinking, my opinion. If it should end up embarrassing me, well, so be it.

    Liked by 4 people

  20. Hey.. This is the first time I’m reading your blog. And I must say I love it. *looks of admiration* 🙂
    I have actually been thinking about writing some of my wicked/embarrassing stories. But then again, the fear of being judged held me back. Now I hope to pen some of them down. Thank you for the inspiration. 🙂
    Do feel free to visit my blog when you can.
    http://www.notionlux.wordpress.com
    Keep writing and Take care! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is great! Thanks for sharing. And if people judge you, then you don’t need them as part of your community! That’s my opinion at least. Initially, we want readers so badly that we tend to write for them, rather than ourselves. It’s totally normal.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Hello, thank you for this post, I enjoyed it so much and related instantly, of course. It came just in right moment for me, and made me smile and made me see the hidden opportunities when feeling stuck.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I really enjoyed reading your post! Thank you for that! It literally made my day! I have been wanting to blog for years but never dared because of all the judging. I think I might give it a try after all knowing that we are quite a few out there who enjoy laughing with each other and totally relating to other people’s imperfections.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Love the style of your writing as it felt really friendly and I felt I could relate ha ha, so thanks for this lovely post reminding people that we are all human and that our imperfections make life unique and fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Robyn, my blog often is about my missteps…or blunders…or antedotes that I have wanted to forget…but you are correct, I feel much lighter, freer, and human when I’m able to look at myself with a pair of reality glasses on. What I’m learning is that people respond to the posts where I am honest about my shortcomings, and I think that is because if I have done it, someone else has also been guilty of the same thing, or something like that. We can begin to connect through our humanness. Thanks, great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello, Little Voice I hope you don’t mind me replying to your comment, But I am 17 years old and I started my blog a month ago, about the general being of life. I was in college and I have had it tuff growing up, dealing with cancer, living of the minimum I don’t have much like other kids do and its me and my mum dealing with things on our own. My teacher told me to write about it and your blog inspired me to write about it. And tell people my story.. How do I get people to read it or look at it. I see people on here with comments and likes. How do I get that!
      Thank you
      Writer of the truth

      Like

  25. I started blogging just three weeks ago and my friend asked me if I was afraid of the consequences of letting all sorts of people know things about me. At that moment I was speechless because I had never thought about that. But now that I read what you wrote, I finally get why I do share things about me. Like you said I believe in depicting life’s imperfections. I guess its people like you who inspire people like me to be fearless to write.

    Liked by 2 people

  26. I re-started my current blog from scratch because I spent almost a year writing from a place where I was terrified of how people would perceive me. It ended up biting me in the butt anyway (all those carefully thought out words! So much time spent stressing!) and so I deleted the whole thing and started Still A Weirdo, where I write as myself only. People LIKE honest material more, and no one can fault you for writing about your blunders! When someone shares those embarrassing parts of their life, it’s like yeah, I know what you mean…People recognize that ring of truth when they hear/read it.

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Haha, I think we all have those moments, and for some reason we all thing our own stories are much worse than anyone else. Mistakes and failures, give us character and there is nothing more facinating than that 🙂 Loved this!

    Liked by 3 people