Jan 28, 2015 / Recommended Reading

Recommended Reading: On Artistic Jealousy

Artistic jealousy gets at the pit of what scares us the most: will my work last? Yet, a little cocktail of jealousy, fear, and ambition is one heck of a way to get your pen moving.

Jealousy: competing against others or yourself can be a great motivator or the worst critic.

Jealousy: competing against others or yourself can be a great motivator or a great source of frustration.

Jealousy: competing against others or yourself can be a great motivator or a great source of frustration.

At varying times in our lives, we struggle with a particular emotion or vice. When someone mentions it, that word carries so much power, conjuring up all the things we’d prefer to hide about ourselves.

For me, the word is jealousy. Jealousy. A word with an unparalleled ability to force me to look right into the depths of myself, in exactly those places where I feel most vulnerable. It’s an excellent teacher, a terrible friend. Oh Jealousy, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.

I’m a huge fan of the writer Esme Wang. While she’s written novels, stories, articles, and more, I primarily come into contact with her through her blog, where she writes incredibly sincere and insightful essays on what it means to be a writer, an artist, and an entrepreneur with a mental illness, amongst many other impressive themes. However, since I read Other People’s Success: On Artistic Jealousy, a blog post about envy within artistic circles, I haven’t been able to get her words out of my head.

I often hear this about jealousy: it’s a healthy and useful tool that points you in the direction of what you want. If your friend’s been picked for first chair in your city’s orchestra, and your stomach sours in the same moment that you’re buying her a congratulatory dinner, the idea goes that you, too, now know that you hope to receive an accolade of that caliber.

Where the idea stops being useful is that most of us working in creative fields know what we want. We know it in a way that burns. I don’t give myself self-awareness points because I feel jealous of a friend who’s been published in Harper’s; I well know that I want to be published in Harper’s.

Artistic jealousy gets at the pit of what scares us the most, especially creative types: will my work last? Yet, as with any emotion, it’s only useful to think these things in as much as they help us to motivate ourselves. Let’s face it, a little cocktail of jealousy, fear, and ambition is one heck of a way to light a fire under your, well, pen.

As you pick up the pen, or open a New Post tab, think of an emotion that defines you, one that you’re afraid to talk about. Then, make it work for you. You’re the boss, after all.

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  1. I love this article. I never heard of artistic jealousy until now. I always thought of jealousy and fear being a motivator for art. I never though of two words being combined.

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  4. Jealousy is an emotion I struggle with basically because most of my achievements and recognition in my life have gone un-noticed from an early age. But I believe I am a very creative and talented individual but often I am the only person who gives myself any positive feedback. Your not the only one I hear someone cry at the back, ultimately there are millions of creative souls out there they all deserve some recognition. Yes that is so but I have encountered so many individuals in a position of power or responsibility that begrudge any positive feedback for your efforts. They find it difficult to be real with other people and keep their failings and insecurities out of sight. I find myself at a crossroads with such folk. I want to offer them the compassion to open up but I feel with many of them I will wait a long time. So I go around feeling narked. Instead I choose to provoke a reaction from some one to test out there response. Can they defend their position or do they exclude me. If someone responds compassionately with me I believe that they are the real deal. Others will quickly forget the anger I have uncovered in them and probably forget about my interaction with them and go back to their position of authority or power.

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  5. I liked this. There is a lot to be said about the biological usefulness of emotions. Most often, they are more revealing than inspiring, as when they are strong they tempt us to loose control (in situations, of course, control is defined as acting according to the needs of a situation rather than the needs of one’s emotions, which often make a situation worse when the emotional baggage is imposed on others through violent communication, or lack thereof). Jealousy is a perfect example, because through it we learn what results we value and want to achieve. My own experience is close to this article, because, physically, it does feel like a “stomach souring,” and there is a limi to how directly the feeling is useful to increase “self-awareness ” (but I would argue it does help reinforce it tangibly).

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  9. The first time that I really felt the pull of artistic jealously was when I went along to my first writing workshop a few years ago. I found myself surrounded by ‘proper’ writers – many had degrees or careers within publishing. I felt out of my depth in comparison but at the same time it also gave me the idea of embracing those feelings and ensuring that I push myself forward 🙂

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