Sep 3, 2014 / Beginner

Declutter Your Prose: Three More Phrases to Avoid

Want to be a better editor? Here are more phrases to excise from your writing.

In the spring, we noted some examples of phrases that might be distracting or unnecessary in your prose. Since many of you found these suggestions helpful, here’s another round of phrases to avoid:

1. In today’s blog…

Interested in more blog vs. post discussions? Read Slate’s take, Meg Pickard’s note on terminology, and Kristen Havens’ semantics lesson.

A blog is your site, posts and pages and all. What you probably meant to write is: “In today’s post…” Or: “In today’s blog post…” Posts make up the content you create on a regular basis, while your blog is your complete online home, your site, on which you publish your posts.

That said, think back to other introductory phrases we’ve talked about: “In this post, I will explain…” or “Today, I will write about…”

This phrase, too, is unnecessary:

In today’s blog, I’d like to share some of the best commentaries I’ve read about the events that unfolded in Ferguson, Missouri.

View your opening lines with a critical eye — there’s likely a word, or three, that you can cut.

2. Click on this link to read more.

Links are organic parts of our posts and essential to the online reading experience. When embedding links in your text, don’t disrupt the reader — in other words, the best “link drops” are the ones you don’t even notice. Let’s say you’re writing about a story you read. You might write:

I read a recent article about a couple who decided to have part of their son’s brain surgically removed. You can click on this link to read it: http://blog.longreads.com/2014/08/26/what-happens-when-you-remove-half-a-brain-from-someone/

There’s nothing wrong with the above — ultimately, you direct the reader to the story to which you’re referring. But here’s a more seamless way to approach it:

I read a recent article about a couple who decided to have part of their son’s brain surgically removed.

Embedding a link in part of your text cleans up your prose.

Likewise, a phrase like “check out the blog/website here” — while not incorrect — is a bulky way to direct your readers elsewhere. Instead of:

I love the memoir and essays from the women writers at Vela magazine. Check out the website here: http://velamag.com/

Try this:

I love the memoir and essays from the women writers at Vela magazine.

3. In order to / as you can see / I think that

No, it’s not a crime to use any of these (and similar) phrases. But do pay attention to each word in a sentence. When you proofread a post before clicking “Publish,” take a (virtual) red pen to your prose, excising extraneous text — not just adverbs and single words, but casual and conversational “filler” phrases.

* This isn’t a hard-and-fast rule. You’ll find that sometimes you need a phrase — for dialogue, to preserve voice, to create a rhythm, and more.

I’ve sometimes let these phrases be, too scared to strip a thought or emotion naked. But once I remove them, I realize the writing is sharper, tighter, and better.*

Consider this passage, pared to the essentials:

In order To write my news story, I interviewed a dozen spectators to get a fuller picture of what happened. But it wasn’t so easy, as you can see. Some people don’t like talking to strangers about neighborhood matters. I think that If I could redo the experience, I’d have better prepared with more research about the community.

It’s easy for excess to creep into our writing, so take the time to read your work before publishing. Are there other phrases that deserve the cut?

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  6. My difficulty is not with openings or connecting phrases; my problem is with conclusions. I often struggle to find a neat way to end my blog entry. I’m writing about personal experiences so an essayist’s style doesn’t always suit. I sometimes feel like I just trail off, like a fade on a record.

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  7. Great tips. I’m guilty of too many unnecessary words, but more often than not I delete them upon the second or third read. My last proofreading is about deleting words which don’t affect the meaning of my sentence, really works!

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  8. When I started incorporating transitions, my writing began to transform. I recommend anyone trying to step up their writing print out transition words and incorporate them. It helps.

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  9. #1 reminds me of my days as a middle school teacher. No matter how many times we went over how to start a paper, story, whatever, a few students would always start with “this story is about” or “this paper is about” or “I am writing about”. It got to the point that if I saw any of those words or anything similar, I simply handed it back without even reading the rest of it.

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  11. Strunk and White would approve this post.

    Little Miss Menopause, however, has a point. Some readers aren’t as Internet-savvy as others and don’t understand the meaning of a link when they see one. In my blog, links don’t stand out unless the pointer is dragged across them. A reader who doesn’t move the mouse across the text as he reads has no idea the links exist. That can be easily fixed, but aunts cannot, and hitting Great Aunt Gertrude over the head is a good way to ensure she’ll never again read ANYTHING you write.

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    1. In my blog, links don’t stand out unless the pointer is dragged across them.

      Hi there! You’re using Fontfolio, and the theme shouldn’t hide links by default. It doesn’t look like you have the Custom Design upgrade, so I don’t think you’ve done any CSS customization to change link/font colors, right?

      Might be worth posting in the support forums to see if someone can help you to fix this (unless this is intentional and you prefer all one font color for regular *and* link text). But in general, your readers shouldn’t have to hover over the text to see if there’s a link in a sentence.

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  16. I always try to be conscious of this stuff. Years of being an English major in college ruined me, haha. I can be my own worst critic. But it’s always helpful and there is ALWAYS room for improvement!

    Good post!

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  17. When a writer begins a post with “I apologize that I haven’t posted in a while” or some variation of that, it bothers me. We all sometimes have life that gets in the way of blogging, but apologizing for it emphasizes it. Just get on with the post! If I’m that worried about it, I probably already know how long it’s been anyway!

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    1. I read apologetic openings often! I never feel wronged by a blogger who has not posted “regularly”/”as usual”. There is a universal understanding that life happens, writer’s block happens, etc. Great comment!

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      1. I never feel wronged by a blogger who has not posted regularly either. I just don’t want the blog to open with the apology. I am experiencing a short gap myself! 🙂

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  18. I tend to over explain. Edit: I over explain. I love these ideas. The examples with the strikethroughs are especially helpful. I edit everything I write. I currently spend more time editing than writing which is something I want to change.

    I do not speak or I speak too much. I over explain. When I do not speak it is assumed something is wrong with me or I am found offensive. When I realize I’ve been machine gunning words I apologize. The reaction pends on who I hit. I am unfortunate. I am wound tight which causes dead silence or projectile vomiting of words. I became terribly sad when I realized this began to infect how I wrote. I deleted entire emails while editing them. “Just send a few words to let me know how you’re doing.” Impossible. Every couple months I’d send half a book which was met with, “You didn’t have to send all THAT. Just a few words.” I cannot express enough gratitude for this post. It has relieved me. I just sent an email for the first time in months. It said, “I’m doing horrible. Hope you are having a nice day.”

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  25. I try to avoid extra phrasing, but I’ve seen many papers of college students who use extra wording such as “this essay is about”, or those mentioned in number 3. Often it is simply being unsure of how to begin or explain. I aid them in restructuring to create clear and concise writing. We’ll ignore the fact that sometimes increasing word count is the reason for this practice!

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  26. Smart article. While we want to make our readers follow the links and see what else is there on the topic, we want the text to be pleasant to read. I’m going to apply all of these 😉

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  29. Thanks for the shout-out in the sidebar! Much appreciated. I agree with you about filler phrases. Most of the time, if you cut them and go back later to re-read the selection, you won’t miss what you eliminated.

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