Mar 6, 2012 / Blogging Etiquette

Getting Feedback

But in a little while it may strike you as a small miracle that you have someone in your life, whose taste you admire (after all, this person loves you and your work), who will tell you the truth and help you stay on the straight and narrow, or help you find your way if you are lost.
Bird By Bird, Anne Lamott

I used to be very shy about my writing and never allowed anyone to read what I’d written. Subconsciously, by not letting anyone see my work, I felt that there was no way I could hear that it was “bad.” However, after a while, my writing was stuck in a rut and I couldn’t get anywhere with my creative work. Finally summoning up the courage, I sent one of my poems to a writing friend of mine to ask his opinion. He didn’t like it that much, offering some suggestions of what he thought it was missing. And that was fantastic! At that point, I recognized his criticisms as sincere suggestions and I thought about them in depth, but I didn’t feel like I’d suddenly lost all skill as a writer. To the contrary, I had fuel for how to improve my work.

Finding someone to give you good feedback is crucial to improving your writing, but it’s also important to find someone who will give you genuine and honest feedback. As nice as it may feel, asking a friend who’s afraid to hurt your feelings and will only say good things about your work won’t help you to improve, to grow through any challenges you may be coming across as a writer. Good feedback sees both where you are right now and beyond to your potential.

What does good feedback entail? It recognizes the positive, acknowledges your weak spots, and offers suggestions for improvement. Above all, honesty is key. When looking for the right person to give you feedback on your work, it may not be your best friend, your spouse, or your siblings. Instead, it should be a fellow writer you admire, a friend who never holds back his or her true feelings, or even a teacher. The goal of feedback isn’t to get validation that you’re a good writer (you are!), but to push you to improvement.

Daily Posters, how do you know when you’re getting good feedback? What about giving it?

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  1. I’ve left a couple of polite, but honest, remarks in reference to other people’s work. I feel like I may have hurt their feelings, which would never be my intent. However, it is better to get constructive criticism from someone like me, than a potential publisher, I would think. I’ve come to a point where I hesitate to leave any comment at all in an effort to avoid hurting someone. On the flip side, I welcome any and all remarks. If I don’t agree with someone on their views of my work, I let it pass. On the same token, I would not want to deny myself some of the valid ideas that others might share with me standing on the outside looking into my world. There is always bad to be taken with the good.

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  2. This was a great post. I often find that most people are eager to provide positive feedback when they read a good piece, but tend to enforce the “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” rule when reading something that doesn’t quite stack up. Maybe then, silence can also be considered a form of feedback?
    Though as a new blogger, I would certainly benefit more from the louder kind!

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  3. I would love to receive more feedback on my writing but don’t currently have a consistent source for that. Many people as me for critique of their writing, and I always try to be honest but also encouraging. I’m hoping to find that type of source soon for writing input.

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  4. sure, we need people to look at our work and give comments.The only disadvange to our wish is that Today”s writers seem to have time no to spend on peoples Posts.It is as if the burden of looking at their daily economic problems is overwhelming.

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  7. Grammy*

    When Grammy died I remember still
    The chat we had when she was ill
    Of things we gather through the years
    Wants and needs whispered in our ears.

    Things gather dust get moved around
    We chuck out what we once found
    Those objects that we never use
    We bought delighted when we choose.

    Our wants out way our life’s needs,
    Life is destroyed when cancer succeeds
    Life is precious, even if we plead.
    Material thoughts have no need.

    Grammy said how futile we become
    Our wants and needs just don’t belong.
    We may not see the hoard piled up.
    Lying beneath a inch of dust.

    Then at the end when all is spent
    When life moves to the very end
    Grammy gave some good advice
    Remember, most important is life.

    Some keep the spirit in their soul.
    Some don’t believe, leave well alone.
    Some never cared and never would
    Some fill their hearts with only good.

    Some choose the Lord all life long
    The Lord’s light makes them strong
    Others are good but don’t believe
    Others think life is all they achieve.

    When life has gone and at the end
    There is no choice, we cannot spend
    What we did in life will now be viewed?
    Were you a help or rude and crude.

    The chains you built down here on earth
    Choosing a deceitful life the devil’s mirth

    Our lives are proof down here on earth
    A challenge to meet our Lords worth.

    Believing was the key to Heaven’s gate.
    Grammy knew through her great faith.
    Life is hard a challenge which sways
    We all suffer the stress and strain.

    Grammy knew what hid behind the veil
    Her faith was strong although she was frail.
    She slipped away and many cried when she died.
    Now her smile is the love she finds right now.

    Written by Susan Oliver.

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