Open toed shoes and alcohol do not mix!
I missed the step and tore off half the nail on my big toe. Stuff is nasty! I’m about to go drown it with iodine and wrap it up and pray to God it doesn’t get infected. 45 more words
I’m at a party. It’s night and we’re in a field. A big one, in the middle of nowhere. It’s cold and still but there’s a fire that makes everyone uncomfortably warm, there’s jackets on the ground and bags piled up at a safe distance creating a sort of circle around the firey …fireness. 239 more words
LAWD GE ZUS! MUDERFUCKIN BOOTLEG FIREWORKS! Laugh out loud stuff right there. In all seriousness though, this should serve as a good lesson for everyone out celebrating tonight, never buy bootleg fireworks or you’ll end up like Twiggy here and your bushes will catch fire. 11 more words