This piece spoke to me in ways that I can't fully convey.I guard closely the personal that is left of my "personal life". The stanza: "Tread lightly all ye of the wicked forked tongue Speak not of those less fortunate without knowing Ignorance is only bliss to the blissful idiot And an idiots words can cause cities to burn Is the one that has perfectly captured how I feel about a specific situation that seems without end. And so sharing these wise words...
Tags » Personal Responsibility
Reborn.I worry that I have become my mother. The reflection I get from my spouse says so. I worry that I have lost all hope of a being love through rebirth. My mother's eyes always sparkled when she recited her interpretation of the French meaning of my French name. Beloved reborn. She never said what she thought that meant. People have different ideas about what rebirth means. People engage authentic thought about human existence at widely varying degrees. Thus, human experience must be told in a variety of ways from a variety of voices. ********* I believe we are fundamentally morally obligated, as members of humanity, to take personal responsibility for ourselves. This is not, however, evidenced by the labels we take on, or fight against; rather, holding ourselves accountable through harm reduction rather than abstinence; abstinence mindsets for ourselves and others breed intolerance. The experience of human existence is the purpose. We grow by embracing the challenges of change and not the change itself by living in consistency with our own authenticity. Every single one of us; the picture of health, the chronically ill, the terminally ill, disabled, or not has the capacity to function autonomously, at some level. But, as with all realities of spectrum, our society's average ability to detect shades of autonomy, to honor shades of autonomy, and to uphold shades of autonomy fails. In the disconnected existence of humanity, we search for connection, we search for belonging, we search for ourselves in universal truths. The range of outcomes of a single personal journey is infinite; therefore, the "average" is never fulfilling. If we use the law of averages as our system of measure without an understanding that its utility stops where the individual begins, our responses to one another are always wrong. Overcoming the inherent nature of change means to embrace the challenge of limitations in ourselves and those with whom we are in relationship. I believe that as humans, we have the capacity; thus responsibility, to act in compassion with all life, while recognizing that it is our individuality that makes us human in the first place. To act in compassion means not to project your individuality so as to claim legitimacy against an average; rather, to respect it as your own through authenticity. Taking personal responsibility requires a soulful understanding that human existence is finite, but that our souls are not. ************ Rebirth, in plain language means a new or subsequent birth. In matters of human existence, I think this means that an individual experienced a disconnection and the reconnection of the soul in the context of human existence. Reconnection is not guaranteed. But when it happens, the time between disconnection and reconnection varies. In that sense, I was literally reborn at the age of 37. I have sustained an injury from a lack of oxygen to my brain. When that happened, my soul and humanity were reconnected, and my human existence was damaged. The results of my rebirth are the senses of belonging, acceptance, and compassion, a complete disconnection from time, a pulverized; but seemingly complete historical memory, a faulty short-term working memory, chronic neuropathic pain, extreme fatigue. To experience a reconnection of the soul in the context of one's own humanity is significant because it has the power of transformation. It is that reconnection of the soul which breeds self-love; self-love fuels growth and provides a renewed pathway for self-actualization. ****** I wonder if somewhere in her refusal of the existence of the soul, there is a tiny concealed door to her own pathway of reconnection. I have to believe that universal truth resides in us all and that the challenge of this human existence is to find it before this existence ceases. I believe that in her refusal of the soul, she has banished her source of self-love, her fuel for growth and her pathway to self-actualization. Will I? Are my human realities of pain and suffering closing the door to my self-love? Am I my mother; projecting my suffering onto those I love most? Can I find the the role of electrical tape to repair the mangled cord at the end of the plug? I worry that I am becoming my mother in outcome. I worry that my rebirth has been so rough for so long that I can not - be loved. We arrive, or re-arrive, in humanity with only a sketch based on averages. That's nature. Through nurture; I believe we give an understanding of the truth of human existence and compassion, we transform that sketch for others. That transformation can occur with a variety of media, on varying timelines. What medium we use and the timing of our contributions to the lives of others is a reflection of our own soulful lives; whether we recognize it or not. That is the reality of interdependence. I happen to have some old paint and crusted-up old brushes of understanding impermanence in outcome despite sameness of source materials; a keen sense of interdependence through the shredding of my mind, and my infantile attempts at reintegration resulting in all but complete relational devastation. But, I also have the glue of compassion, some self-love, intact intelligence, compassion, and a desire to integrate my flourishing sense of soul with my adaptation of living with a physically damaged brain and subsequent broken physical processes. Having autonomy means that I am responsible for me and only me, but that does not mean that I have no responsibility to others. I have the responsibility to love myself so much that I do not allow the terrors of the last six years overtake me, that I do not allow my perceptions of the world around me to trigger me anymore. I feel terrorized because I have been reborn, because my brain is no longer usable as directed, because I understand that this human existence is not the end game. It is the training phase of something better. Cheating myself out of the experience of fullness of my soul in human form, of the opportunity to embrace the challenges of change only anchors known deficits in the inflexible application of this life - suffering is; soulful integration of self in this human existence is the purpose of now. I see that I have been hyper-vigilant in my settling in. The process of rebirth has been difficult, but undeniably rewarding for me. I see that since my injury, but especially pre-diagnosis, that I have aggressively defended that frayed cord on the end of the plug, while searching in the dark for the spool of tape in the junk drawer. I have guarded myself so closely that I have limited my own soulful path. My physical existence is now permanently damaged, but identified and stabilized significantly. Cognitive adaptations exist. Integration is possible. The terror is only terror if I define it that way. Unlike my mother, I understand impermanence, the value of interdependence and that the futility of resistance to suffering and change. No. I am not nor will I become my mother. I have the gift of rebirth.
Regarding a Christian’s responsibility, or responsibility of every good person for that matter, we must live rightly personally.
We must live justly, do justice, walk in mercy, show kindness, and keep sight of the fact that we are not the center of the universe; we are not the judge; we must remain humble. 132 more words