Tags » Aaron Smallets

9 Thoughts On Harrison Fords' Plane Crashing on a Golf Course

1. “Hey, buddy just ASK to play through next time.” 

2. “According to this Snapple fact the ancient Arnold Palmers hid the treasure at hole 14.” 131 more words

Aaron Smallets

10 Translations of What Your Server Really Means

1. “How is Everything?”

I have to ask this within three minutes of you getting your food. I don’t give a shit. Because you’re just going to say “fine” and then tell me at the end of the meal how crappy it was. 343 more words

Aaron Smallets

13 of the Worst Things To Hear on a First Date

1. “I’m a model.”

2. “My Dad hasn’t paid my rent in months.”

3. “I only eat organic.”

4. “I’m going to Yelp about this place.” 61 more words

Aaron Smallets

Kelly Osbourne's Next Job Interview, After Quitting "Fashion Police"

Interviewer: Hi Ms. Osbourne you’re looking for a job is that correct?

Kelly: Yes that’s right.

Interviewer: Hmm is this your resume? There’s just one thing on it. 152 more words

Aaron Smallets

10 Things to Consider Before You Move Your Broke "Artsy" Ass To New York (City)

1. It’s Freezing Shitty Ass Cold Seven Months Of The Year. (90%chance)

Even though the temperature says 35 degrees the wind will make it feel like Jesus is slapping you in the face. 293 more words

10 Things NOT To Do This Christmas

1. Go to Church

This is something so overdone these days. Now you can just check in on Facebook, and rent the DVD “Christmas Mass”. You can even select the kind of sermon you want. 378 more words