If the latest celebrity and/or presidential Twitter feud left you uninspired, Emily Temple at Literary Hub is here for the rescue with some of Virginia Woolf’s harshest, wittiest takedowns.

From Lactaid Fast Act Chewables to “one year of marriage counseling,” Marika Malaea gives honeymoon funds a more prosaic (and hilarious) spin.

From Merbear at Knocked Over By a Feather: “When I’m finally finished with the herculean task of cleansing my body so that I don’t offend myself or others, I just sit there and let the water envelop me. I close my eyes and begin to build myself up for the next step.”

“And she never reflected upon ‘the five questions to ask when discovering your personal brand.’ Her personal brand was the purple and silver blouse she bought herself after my grandfather died but she didn’t think of it that way because grandmothers don’t have personal brands.”

In which Fifi Mcleod recalls the hilarious story of how her pup, Tinkle, ate the carpet, expelled rope poo out of his pooter, and had to go on doggy Xanax.

Expat Panda is a South African expat blogger living in Kuwait. In a tongue-in-cheek post, her husband (Expat Fox) spills the beans on the challenges and rewards of life as the companion of a serious blogger.

A former museum assistant unearths drawings in an old, tiny sketchpad, kept in the pocket of a blazer during shifts in the galleries.