How Do You Say “I Love You”?

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The Bell Tower in Winnipeg's North End neighborhood. Photo by Greg Littlejohn.

Michael Champagne is a community activist and speaker based in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Recently, in a moving post, he thanked the people of his North End neighborhood for their perseverance in building a better community for future generations.

Champagne’s tribute got us thinking about the many ways there are to convey “I love you” by using actions, not words.

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My family taught me that sometimes you can say “I Love You” through the hard work that you do.

To the helpers in the village, I want you to look in the mirror. I want you to see every scar, every wrinkle, every grey hair as a badge of honour. I want you to see in your reflection medicine; the medicine we need to heal our shared pain. I want you to think back to the times you were cooking food, searching in the river, smudging or patrolling the streets, attending meetings, advocating inside and outside of these systems, and I want you to know that you are appreciated.

Your example is the blueprint that our kids are need moving into the future. Let’s teach with our example how to be relentless, forgiving and kind. When our world is this sick, we must be the medicine.

How the North End community shows their love is an inspiration. What are the ways in which you convey “I love you” to those important to you? Share your story in the comments.

115 Comments

  1. For the past 15 years of my life, I’ve never thought about saying “I Love You” to anyone, even my parents. To me, it wasn’t necessary and kind of cheesy and thus hard to say. However, since I studied abroad, I realized that “I Love You” isn’t about you need to say or not; instead, it’s about expressing your love and feelings toward others. And it isn’t my brain which decides whether it would say it or not, but my heart. When I love and appreciate someone, I will say “I Love You” to that person willingly and passionately. These words, they were like the only ways I can express my missing and longing for the ones I love. And life is too short for us to not say these three words, and we would not know when would be the last time we could say those to each other.

    Liked by 22 people

  2. Too often, men and boys are prohibited public displays of affection or love to almost every other living thing which depicts every aspect of patriarchy in a world of aggressive masculinity – unfortunately. Pff. SMH

    Liked by 16 people

  3. My beloved Mother always told me that “Actions Speak Louder Than Words.” I like to express how I feel by giving back. If a family member of friend needs a helping hand, I have two. I also do a lot of volunteer work, whether it be inspirational speaking or reminiscing several times a month with people who have dementia. I love being of help, even if it is giving to someone I don’t know. We are all connected, and lending a helping hand is a lifeline we all need at some point or the other. Be it far from me to cut my cord!

    Liked by 17 people

  7. I honestly believe we can show others how we feel by what we do. You know the expression “a person who feels appreciated will always do more than is expected”? That’s exactly right. Doing for others and treating them how we’d want to be treated is the best way to show them how we feel.

    Liked by 13 people

  8. I read an article about a study which investigated the ways people feel that they are loved. It was interesting in that how it is we feel love, we often express our love to others in the same way. The study was able to define five ways in which we feel loved. They are 1) getting compliments, 2) have someone to offer their services to us 3) receiving gifts 4) having someone hang out with us and 5) having someone touch us.
    I know with my late husband, he was rarely able to say “I love you”. Neither were my parents. A wise grandma told me to look at the actions of love and I would have no need for someone to tell me the three little words. I watched and saw how he brought in wild black raspberries or wild strawberries for my breakfast most every morning, or how he listened when I wanted a few steps built in a hill so I could get to our storage unit there. His offerings were that he was showing his love by being of service. I began listening and providing service to him and it changed our marriage.
    As he was dying, he was finally able to say the I Love you words because he could no longer do for me the way he had.
    I think when we live in relationships, the importance of taking time to notice how we subtly communicate with each other can add many dimensions to the experience. I have done this exercise with all my significant family members. I have also determined for myself that I just like to be able to hang out with them. They haven’t caught on yet, but I’m hoping. I guess I could tell them. That would help.

    Liked by 15 people

  9. By teaching my children empathy, and how to share with others. During the holidays we bake so many cookies you would think our house was one big cookie. We pass them out to friends and neighbors we don’t really know, plus we make cookies and crafts every year for the little church down the street from us. Every year they put on a live nativity play for the whole neighborhood and pass out cookies and cocoa to everyone. They also have a little craft sale after the plays throughout the week. It is something I always look forward to, making cookies for them and our little handmade ornaments for them to sale…the nativity show also has live animals, it is beautiful.

    Liked by 9 people

  13. Great article. It’s the small things, we have homeless people here in Melbourne and when i get a chance I buy them food and water coming to or from work. It may not be love to others but the homeless know it is and they are grateful. I also donate anything i have no use for that’s in decent condition at a thrift store to support diabetes Australia as well.

    Liked by 9 people

  15. I have never been able to show appreciation as much as I have wanted to. I am never able to say it to the other person, or convey it through a non-verbal way. I am really awkward with hugs too.

    Liked by 8 people

  19. Doing simple things affect my loved one’s life in a positive manner is something that I really strive upon. A simple gesture of looking in her eyes while she’s talking, keeping the phone away while spending time with her and doing the chores which you absolutely hate, with her. Cracking silly jokes with her, sharing my gossips with her and trying to spend absolutely every second of my time is how I try and show that I love her.
    That’s how I try and love my mum ❤
    She means a lot to me.

    Liked by 8 people

  24. I recently began recording the ways I share my love of family and friends. I use my creative skills combined with traditions that have shaped my life to show those I live work and play with their value to my life. Love needs to be felt heard and shown! It really is a gift to yourself.

    Liked by 7 people

  25. I belong to a small group of people who move the earth for each other. No matter what happens, we are all there to support one another. Even though I have been absent from our group due to unforseen circumstances, they check up on me, find out how I’m doing. They do everything from move each other to babysit one anothers kids to cooking meals when someone is sick.

    Liked by 9 people

  29. I’ve never had a problem sharing my love for anyone, problem comes getting the love back and that’s hearing it or seeing/feeling it. This was very nice though. It’s always good to get love this way.

    Liked by 9 people

  31. I feel most loved when I’m listened to. Corny, I know, but true nonetheless. I’ve learned, though, that listening can be complicated.

    I have a close friend who struggles with addiction and I often play the role of supportive friend. I would call my friend and engage him in conversation–“how are you doing?” “what’s the latest in your sobriety, and treatment?” kind of stuff. I knew better than to provide advice or answers to a journey only he can figure out. I was a good listener, had good intentions, and was trying to show love and support.

    But, was I really being supportive? Did I need a friend to help as much, or more, than my friend needed someone to help him? How does hearing from someone who isn’t facing the same issues–addiction in this case–add to feelings of inadequacy, and guilt?

    I realized good listening, love, and friendship, in this case at least, is waiting for my friend to reach out. Some times space and no action can be more supportive, and loving than going out of your way “fix” stuff.

    It takes both, I suppose–action and space. I hope he knows I love him and that I’d listen.

    Liked by 8 people

  34. I’ll never said anyone ‘i love you’ yeah i express it in other way. Sometime we could not say that we love them so we use a way to express it in other way. we use to help them and admire them. But i Think its also important and good things. So that we get more Close by expressing our feeling.

    Liked by 7 people

  38. You can say I love u a million times but deep inside feeling something else the only thing can figure out the i love u is the heart if ur not feeling it then dont say i love u. Youbcan say I love you but if your action doesnt change then its not love at all.. i love you is easy to say but hard to prove it

    Liked by 12 people

  39. i rarely here the words from my family and friends, but i know they do when they give me their time, do things for me without me asking them to and when they show interest in the things that i am doing. i do the same to express my love and spice it up by saying the words occasionally.

    Liked by 11 people

  43. I show my love by listening with the intent to really understand what they’re saying not necessarily to respond. I care about the people in my life and when I’m with them I’m present. Not on my phone or in front of a TV. I think genuine conversation and really hearing them is the most important way to tell somebody that you care about them and what they have to say.
    Also another way is genuine praise. I have this one friend that always makes me feel so good. Every time she introduces me to somebody they already have heard all about me and are so pleased to meet me. She tells everybody what an inspiration I was to her. She has had such a big impact on MY LIFE and her words make me feel so special that I have literally striven to be like her in this way just because I know how happy it makes me.

    Liked by 9 people

  44. ‘Love is the centripetal force which brings the elements of the universe together’ – Empedocles (490 – 430 BCE)

    Love come’s in many forms and it is the strongest spiritual force around, share it with all. Great post by the way!

    Liked by 8 people

  46. Such a great example that the world is not filled death, violence and killing! There are places where people love and are loved back. People who sacrifice and go the extra mile without reward. Place where community is not a company slogan but a this is my neighborhood reality.

    Thank you for this post! I really needed it!

    Liked by 5 people

  48. Yes soooo true. I never realize how much I forget to say “I love u” to the people around me, until I dont have them around me anymore. And by then it is too late express my love. I wish it would be more natural for me to say “I love u” to people.

    Liked by 7 people

  50. I totally agree on to the writer. “I love you” these days are used randomly in any context even if the speaker doesn’t mean it. As the proverb goes” action speaks louder than words” love can also be proved by actions, ranging from getting a smile on a face of a child to helping a person in need.

    Liked by 6 people

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