Advice from Phillip Lopate on Writing About Your Own Life

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Image by Lois Roelofs

One of Lois Roelofs’ reading assignments for a recent writing conference was Phillip Lopate’s Writing Personal Essays: On the Necessity of Turning Oneself into a Character. In “Write Along with Me,” she relays great advice from Lopate on writing personal essays and memoir, while contemplating how best to document her own life story.

Think of your quirks

No one wants to read boring stuff, so look for those things that make you unique. None of us is the same, so capitalize on it. When folks tell me they could never be a nurse because of the awful bodily things we have to do, I laugh and say, “I understand. Not all people can be excited about bowel movements.” I’m serious. When a patient had been constipated from days on narcotics, I felt as good as the patient when the stool softeners, or the enema I’d given, finally worked. And, for the record, this topic is on my mind, just having had my five-year colonoscopy yesterday. That would make a quirky story, but I’ll spare you.

 

Look for conflict

Readers don’t want to read about absolutely hum drum lives. And no one has them anyway. But, even if you think your life is boring, stop a minute and think of what you’ve done the last five minutes. You’ve stopped your routine to read this short essay and you’re wondering why you’re wasting the time. But then you realize there may be some truth to what I’m saying, and you are moved to grab a pencil and write about how you nearly boxed your boss or your husband or your kids yesterday, and oh, wouldn’t that feel good to get that out of your system?

 

Find humor in your life

Just because you are feeling sad about the whole wide world and you’re telling your story in the truest manner possible, no one wants to be dragged along in your muck. So, no matter how sad your story is, find that smidgen of humor in it, if only to make a little fun about how you’re coping. Humor alone is a fine coping strategy.

 

Read: Lois Roelofs’ “Write Along with Me”

Do you write about your own life or the lives of others? What are the challenges you face? What tips do you have for others documenting their own journeys?

81 Comments

  2. My stories need to be written down by forming some kind of continuum. But the more I do that, I realize I might as well be writing my memoirs rather than blogging, so I try to mix it up with other things. I find the daily word prompts often hit a nerve with me to write about something from my past, appropriate for mixed company or not.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Hey question for you guys: Do you think review bloggers should use the same style they would have if they were writing personal blogs? We’re pretty new to the blogosphere and always have a hard time deciding if we should write a reaction-type review or just give the facts and let people come up with their own opinions.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. I love your post! When I write about myself, I write about things that inspire or frustrate me. I write about others who inspire me since my blog is dedicated to helping professionals succeed. Since I work in sales, this is something I keep in my mind- after a presentation, 63% of attendees remember stories. Only 5% remember statistics (Dan & Chip Heath). Writing a story is so powerful because we can all relate to it. So often we hide our quirks, but they are what make us individuals! Loved the article! Thank you!

    Liked by 5 people

  5. I really like this article. I’m not an experienced writer and this was helpful, and affirming also. I’ve just begun blogging seriously (tried on Blogger, but was difficult). I have so much I want to share of my family of origin…to preserve a little bit of family history. I’ve got pictures, video’s…but pulling it all together is a bit overwhelming at times. It just seems the years are passing so quickly and I want to capture some special moments and people…hopefully to share with my children and grandchildren. New follower…I need the encouragement…

    Liked by 5 people

  7. Love writing about myself 🙂
    I have a published book regarding behaviour of real men and how to become one…that pretty much reflects my personality and experience…so i really love sharing things about myself,specially if i can do that in a book format and also get some recognition from beautiful people afterwards 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  9. great little article.

    i love little observations, social nuances, and any humor we can find with them.

    my latest obsession is lower case text.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Writing about my life is all I do! 🙂 It’s why my entries are relatively infrequent. I think to myself that my entries always have to be long and involved. Making the time in between entries “worth it.” But recently I’ve been rethinking this. I still don’t feel the need to write on trivial things every couple of days, I can’t do that. I don’t think I’m witty enough for shorter entries 🙂 But I will allow myself to write about “easier” topics, and do so more frequently. And reading this entry just cements that. So, thanks 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I’ve always felt a bit leery when it comes to writing about my life. I don’t want about my humdrum days but I do want to write more about my thoughts, impressions, and perspectives on the world around me. I tend to worry that my “real life” writing just isn’t interesting enough and maybe that’s why I tend to stick to fiction. It’s worth some thought and effort though. Lately I’ve been trying to come up with ideas to make my blog more interesting and that might be a good/challenging angle to start from.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Cheri,

    Such a beneficial post. We all have quirks, conflict and most importantly humor. I waHoke up some days thinking my blog is a great idea and some thinking I need to change everything. I’m going to use your advice as I’ve been thinking about keeping my blog less formal and more about putting out awesome content.

    Thanks!
    Matt

    Liked by 2 people

  17. I write about both others (famous writers who have been to war), and myself, by peppering into my literary essays commentary about my own experiences as a domestic violence survivor at the hands of an Iraq war veteran.

    My tip is to look for the layers in your life, look at what doesn’t make sense. What are the things you’re most interested in and drawn to? How do they reflect you as a person?

    Be raw about your painful times, but make sure there is always an air of levity to the drama. Make light of your own personal tragedies.

    Liked by 3 people

  18. Writing about personal life is not easy. Some things that seem interesting and relevant to one person might be poison to another person. I’ve been fighting a lot of late with thoughts of whether to write about my personal life or not, but I’m glad I have finally started.
    Thanks for this article.

    Liked by 4 people

  20. Thank you for that piece. When I started blogging a few weeks ago, i started of with the intention to write about myself and my thoughts. But I was not having a good timel lately that I felt I sounded way too negative that I shouldn’t write. Although I don’t write much, I wrote about my thoughts pretty sincerely and then felt like I would be adding negativity to my blog that I didn’t wanted. This piece of information has been helpful to me very much and I will definitely try to bring about the changes from this piece of advice I read today.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. Thanks for the post. I started writing about myself this year and I’ve managed to be vulnerable through humour! I often think I’m being boring but this has made me wake up and appreciate our differences.

    Liked by 3 people

  23. I began typing up my mother’s journals following her death.

    There are so many unanswered questions. I wish I could ask her to expound.

    My advice is to share writing with posterity sooner than later… perhaps at the earliest sign of interest. I begged my dad to read his journals growing up and he said, “when I’m dead and gone you can have them.” Now he is dead and gone and there are no journals to be found.

    Otherwise, it is important to write from the readers eyes. Try to anticipate what questions they will have when your work falls into their hands.

    Liked by 5 people

  25. Never actually stopped to think about why we write and why we read what others write until this. Thank you for the tips!

    Liked by 3 people

  27. I post about my life however I find ways to put a spin to it. A different angle. If possible I put humor where it’s deserved

    Liked by 3 people

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