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  1. This is a true story about how my cat perceives me. I took my cat to my sister’s house, and he ran away. Hundreds of miles from home. I called a few animal psychics to find him. The first two said he was under a porch-like deck to a house, with a nearby shed and a bush. Another said he was having fun, catching mice, and wanted to know if he’d be allowed back outside if he came back. He told another that he was lost, and he missed me. He loved me, because I was his, and he liked to sit on my stomach, because I am fat. He was found 44 days later, near death, under a neighbor’s porch, next to a shed and a bush. My sister who told me to call the psychic in the first place told me that every house nearby has a
    deck/shed/bush, and any man calling a psychic to find his lost cat has to be a fat loser. Nevertheless, my cat does love me. I buy the food.


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