Sep 27, 2012 / Posts We Loved

What Makes a Post Freshly Press-able: Bacon In a Toaster

Every day, a handful of WordPress.com bloggers are featured in Freshly Pressed. And every day, many more wonder, “What do I have to do to get Freshly Pressed?”

Well, it’s time to reveal what the folks who push the launch button are thinking. Each week, we’ll take a close took at one post and why we thought it was Press-worthy. We hope we can provide insight into the process and give you tips and tools to make your blog the best it can be.
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When we think about what we once imagined “the future” would be like, lots of us have the same initial reaction as Bohemian Radio: when do I get my flying car already?

Toaster Bacon!Or at least a personal jetpack; 2012 isn’t quite living up to 20th century science-fiction’s promises. Bohemian Radio’s latest post, Bacon in a Toaster: A Future Too Awesome To Happen, takes a closer look at 1975’s idea of the future-that-isn’t.

The post didn’t just draw us in because of the idea of toaster bacon (although that might be what got us through the front door), but because it was just plain fun. Sometimes, we like to read something that educates, inspires, or that we can relate to viscerally–but sometimes, we just want to crack up.

It made us laugh. A lot.

Consider his description of the Hi-Fi Sphere, a record player gone futuristic by virtue of its Sputnik-esque design:

Long-playing Hi Fidelity records are round. Rolling Stones are round, Barry White is round. Your ears are round. Your head is round, and your face-talking hole is round. So should your high-fidelity, sound-barking, audio-making equipment set be: Round. EXTRA BONUS: Round(ish) speakers on an extendo-matic telescoping antenna-looking thingy, for maximum head-injury potential. When not in use, the giant round sound thing closes to form a perfectly symmetrical aluminum sphere, blending in naturally with all your other giant ball-shaped décor.

You had us at “face-talking hole.”

While we were wiping away tears of laughter, it made us think about bigger questions.

Television... of the FUTUREReading about 1975’s idea of Future Television–wired-antenna-ready, and replete with multiple analog clocks for ease of global timekeeping–reminded us of how little we can actually predict about what technology will look like 30 years from now, and how bad we are at guessing what kinds of tools will actually make life easier and better.

When we think about what the world will look like in 30 years, we’re naturally constrained by our experience of the world today. But as technology advances, in spurts and bounds, it changes the ways we relate to it, the ways we use it, and how we’d like it to function. The Future Television  seems absurd to us today, knowing what we like our TVs to do and how we use them; how absurd will our idea of a big honking 72″ television seem to our grandkids, when they’ve got satellite receivers grafted directly onto their retinas?

Did we mention the Turkey Gun?

Perhaps we shouldn’t find the Turkey Gun so absurd in a world that has embraced Go-Gurt (or “Frubes” for you Brits), but this description made us guffaw:

Based on absolutely no evidence or experience, the top futurologists of 1962 determined that earthly utensils, dishes and even solid food itself would be absolutely useless, if not deadly – and possibly Communist – in 1975 outer space. The answer? Based on the same physics principles that modern, 21st century pastry bags employ, this marvelous “Expelling device screws onto punctured can and is operated by squeezing to force food through the nipple.” Say that again: “Force food through the nipple.” Science!

Laughter lowers blood pressure and stress hormones, increases energy and creativity, and just makes us feel good. Do we need a better reason than that?

(Before you leave a comment: yes, we know this post has a few, er, choice words. To our eyes, the few four-letter words in this post weren’t used gratuitously and flowed from the bluntly informal tone that made the piece so funny to us.)

What did you think of this choice? Will you read more from Bohemian Radio?

For more on Freshly Pressed, check out last week’s Freshly Press-able post, read our roundup of Editors’ Picks for August, or read So You Want to Be Freshly Pressed.

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  2. I loved this post. It was so damn funny! I hope you do this on me. I’m featured on FP today, and for the life of me, can’t figure out why, but thanks!

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    1. As the person who decided to feature you, I’ll tell you! Your post was sad, funny, told a story in an offbeat way, and was something a lot of people can relate to. I’m happy to see the positive response you’re getting – congrats again!

      Like

  6. so, would-be FP-hopefuls: submit your post ABOUT FOOD, especially stuff like CHOCOLATE or BACON at whatever time the WP-editor-FP-scourers are, well, out scouring. it can’t hurt …

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    1. Just to clarify: despite having “bacon” in the title, this post isn’t actually about food; it’s a really funny look at what people in the 70s thought “the future” would be like. We’re all about Equal Topic Opportunity at Freshly Pressed!

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  7. Well, I read this man’s post from today that IS about bacon, and I laughed my ham hocks off. I encourage all to go read it.

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  8. Thank you for this post! I’ve often wondered how this happens. And THANK YOU for Freshly Pressing me today! I’m stunned, amazed, delighted, flabbergasted, GRATEFUL!!!

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  10. And them there was the guy on “Shark Tank” asking for venture capital funds to mfg. His bacon alarm clock… It made bacon at a set time, waking you up to the smell of bacon.

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  11. Is there anyone who could possibly give me a few tips about how to get my blog Freshly Pressed, or at least get a few more views? I’ve had a blog about bullying up for three or four months and I would like to get some of the information I’m posting out there to the general public. If anyone could lend any help to me on how to get the information out there, I would appreciate it.

    Thank you,

    Kyletheantibully

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    1. Make sure you have it see up to Post a link on your twittering, Facebook, linkedIn, Google+, pinterest and any other social media accounts you have that it will post to. Also make sure to use the tag words listing, that will get your posts to show up on internet searches people do. I have had views.from all over the world by doing those few things. Oh and ask friends to repost your links on their various social media pages

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      2. When you are on the New Post or Edit Post page, along the right side, scroll down you will see a box for categories (this one also helps, if you have different focus for some of what you write, or maybe provide a more specific grouping of your posts for people to find)… anyway, below that is another box called “Tag” with a white box inside of it, where you type in specific words, and search terms that will help your blog post show up in different searches on yahoo, google, and other search engines. Hope this helps!

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  12. I remember all futuristic cars from Disneyland, CA. I was so excited by what the future holds. I now am 59 years old and having to face much disillusionment I suffer on for the future. But why am I complaining? The new “age of teens” age to 24, decide what I can have or don’t have, by the same measurement of each generation, supply and demand. King Solomon said it best, “All is vanity and vexation of Spirit.” When you can finally purchase the unaffordable, the recipe has been changed because of the unforeseeable.. .

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      1. I have no probs posting here, I was trying to keep it short and sweet. Especially as I spend most of my time criticising FP. Up to you, maybe better that I write about it on my blog 😉 And reading below, seems I am not the only one. Trouble is, mostly people comment on here to get hits and followers.

        I comment to say you are going for the young smart market. I’ll send the email. maybe better 😀

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  15. Since you wanted to know:
    What did I think of this choice? The title and topic were great, but I wouldn’t have chosen it for FP. I didn’t laugh once, and I consider myself a satirist. It was mildly amusing but did not appeal to me. As for the profanity, perhaps it was not gratuitous, but I didn’t think it added to the humor enough to justify it. The over-emphasis on “food through a nipple” could be read as demeaning to women.

    Will I read more from this blogger? No. I perused another post of his while there, and again, did not find it appealing. Although I suspect he would not find my blog appealing either, which is fine. We choose what we read based on our taste, which is very different for everyone.

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    1. My sincerest apologies to any possessor of nipples feeling demeaned by my blog post, be they women, men, wombats, aardvarks, honey badgers, astronauts, baby bottles or cycling enthusiasts. No offense intended.

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  18. But how do you actually filter out from all those millions of dross posts the special ones, are there elves? Do you have a huge team or is it just one lone guy, munching a bag of crisps while scratching his nether regions and randomly pressing the get pressed button on his one key special keyboard??

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  19. NIce post and really funny. BACON IS LIFE…lol. I was wondering if you could check out my blog. Come and see a kid’s view on all things baseball. Feel free to offer any advice and to pass it along.

    -David

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  21. Its new for me that the bacon put in a toaster…I think I should try it very exciting and easy to prepare also…New experience of cooking for me…

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  22. For anyone that could give some help to a new blogger –
    I am brand new to blogging but not new to writing, not al all. I have enjoyed exploring wordpress and sharing my pieces so far… but I have a couple of questions. I have written one page, but wanted to add another, with some more information about me and my blog. When I went to add page, after I typed the content and hit publish, it published right on top of my last page, there were not two seperate pages, the new content was just put on top of the content of the first page I wrote. This confused me. How do I keep my pages seperate and not all running content on the same page?
    Also, how do I make a pingback? What’s the difference between a trackback and a pingback?
    Thank you to anyone who takes the time to help me out!
    XO ~ Jen

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  24. Hilarious post – enjoyed it a great deal, and heavens, yes! why isn’t today anything like the future was envisioned 50 years ago? Apart from that, I think the profanity didn’t add all that much to the post. But hey, that’s just me!

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