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Why is it so hard to forgive?

Topic #159:

Why is it so hard to forgive?

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  1. It’s not hard to forgive – it’s hard to loose face. Forgiveness is withheld purely to extend the pain of those seen as providing an afront in the first place and it is driven by the belief that forgiving is weakness, which is a loss of face.

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  2. Forgiving is easier it is the forgetting that is harder!
    It is Fear based emotion, and we feel rejected, and hurt, and most of betrayed.
    When you really look at it it really is all about how you as a individual deal with personal issues.Even though you can be all grown up on the outside, one hurt and it seems like your that little kid again!

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  3. Forgiveness is hard because, you can’t forget what has been done or said to you, or whatever the case may be….But, we have to “forgive” to be forgiven, and that is just
    the way this life is, we must forgive, regardless how hard it is, mostly, because, if
    we don’t do it, it stays inside us, and then we can not be healthly or whole….

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  4. Es difĂ­cil perdonar en la misma medida en que es difĂ­cil olvidar o controlar los nervios: es algo que no está completamente sujeto a nuestra voluntad. Podemos decidir en quĂ© momento le decimos a alguien: “Te perdono”, pero no está en nuestra mano decidir cuándo vamos a perdonarle realmente. El tiempo que transcurre entre una cosa y la otra es complicado, y puede alargarse más de lo que uno mismo desearĂ­a.

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  5. É difícil perdoar quem te faz muito mal, se for sem querer tudo bem, pode acontecer.
    Eu já levei muitas, então hoje estou bem esperta.
    Abraços Mina!

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  6. Forgiveness is an ongoing ‘lesson’. For me, it encompasses self-acceptance, as in all of me, the way I am. Growing more loving and understanding of myself and my inner child has really helped me in extending this to others through the years. Whenever I feel challenged, it’s just an opportunity to become more aware of the Love that is still hiding inside waiting to be revealed as I let go of who or whatever I ‘think’ is causing my emotions to get tangled up. It seems to me, that when I have placed my personal power of responsibility onto others ‘outside’ of myself, that is when is it the hardest to forgive. Anyway, I wrote about forgiveness in my blog awhile back. Thank you all for sharing, and for listening. 🙂

    http://www.you-nique-by-design.com/18/

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  7. Forgiveness is not something one can do without its proper understanding. Some people have difficulty here because they thought to forgive means to also forget. To forgive actually means overcoming the desire for vengeance with a thought of “goodwill” toward the offender despite of being reminded of the past. This process makes it easier than just trying to forget the wrong deed. Nature abhors vacuum – so the two must go hand in hand – forgiveness and a thought of goodwill. With this I rest my case…. it is not really hard to forgive if one one knows the proper way to do it.

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  8. It’s hard to forgive because of the hurt it caused an individual. People have a soft spot in a certain area, some due to his/her her past & others are just sensitive. The effect of the pain will dictate on when is the right time for them to forgive. Sad to say some people will just die having those bitterness in their heart. On this situation the one who doesn’t forgive becomes a prisoner to this cell called anger. He/she will be full of anger even in the way he/she relates with other people. To some they want to forgive but pain keeps coming back & it’s hard for them to forgive.
    In my case, I prayed & ask God to help me forgive. It took me 8 years before I really forgave the person who caused me so much pain . After that long days of prayer, I realized that I already forgave her because I no longer remember what she did. But accepted her as she is. Thanks God it’s not too late. Now I’m free…

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  9. No one causes us pain – they simply reflect the pain that is already in us. That is why people keep returning to abusive relationships and circumstances. True forgiveness does not say, “You have been bad but, bacause I’m better than you, I have the grace to forgive your sin.” True forgiveness extends the grace and peace of God (not ours but God’s) and accepts that nothing happened.
    Then, when we have forgiven one, we have forgiven all. As A Course in Miracles says, forgiveness is easy but difficult – the steps are easy to do (anyone can do them) but they have to be done in every moment of our lives and it’s that consistency and persistence that is diffucult … but we’re all going to get there!

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  10. I found it hard to forgive until I reached the conclusion that everyone is really doing the best they know how … some people just know how better than others.

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  11. It depends upon how deeply a person has hurt you. Simple hurts can be talked through and forgiveness can be acomplished. However, when one person hurts another deeply (you only hurt the ones you love) the h

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  12. I hate this computer. Didn’t finish my thought. The healing process takes longer. Forgiveness can come but there must be daily or at least weekly communication between both parties. Prayer helps.

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  13. Guess it depends on how you were raised, because I do not find it hard at all. First I don’t sweat the little things, I think what will this mean to me one year from now? And, the greatest majority of the time, absolutely nothing. So, forgive & forget!

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  14. Perdonar y Olvidar, fácil y difícil. Será porque somos humanos, muchos dicen si ¡YA! ¡Perdoné! sin embargo en la mayoría de los casos es superficial. La ofensa la siguen anidando, y es que es preferible nunca hacer a nadie, lo que no quieres hagan contigo. Alguien comparaba con el más fino y hermoso papel, que si lo estrujaste, ese papel ya no será el mismo, hagas lo que hicieses.
    Para conseguir Perdonar y efectivamente Olvidar la Ofensa, tendrĂ­amos que ser muy Cristianos, en cada instante de nuestras acciones y expresiones.

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  15. Forgiveness implies acceptance. You need to accept what the other person did. You need to accept that they did it to you. You need to accept that it can’t be undone. For me, it is much easier to forgive others than myself. That would mean having to accept that I made a mistake, accept that I did it to someone else and accept that I can’t erase what I’ve done. Except that usually I can’t accept that.

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  16. Lately I have had trouble with forgiving because I have encountered several rude people at work. These people have done things to me that were deliberately rude and disrespectful. I would never do these things to anyone, because I think about other people’s feelings, whether I like them or not. Since these are recent events, perhaps some day I will forgive them, but I doubt it. It is very hard for me to forgive people who do mean things on purpose, to make me feel like I am not worthy of consideration.

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