My partner showed this pitbull like quality when it comes to installing my favourite Social Network Analysis program VisuaLyzer on my new computer that runs on Vista. It just won't work and won't work and won't work... Unless, and that is a very simple solution once you found it, unless you save it in a different location than the default "program files". So, when downloading it, it will ask you where to save the program and you just choose any other location on your computer and somehow that changes how it is saved and it runs just fine.

No, I don't understand why, but the good thing about a solved problem is that you can enjoy the solution without understanding every detail of it.

FAQs

Everywhere we go we seem to get asked lots of questions. This ranges from motorhomers on campsite; small boys in the street and drivers pulled up at traffic lights.
I have decided that a hand-out is the best way of dealing with this and here is the text of it:

It is a Quadzilla RL300.
It is made in China.
It weighs just under 300Kg
It has a 300cc single cylinder 4-stroke petrol engine.
It has a top speed of 45mph/70Kmh.
It is technically a "quadracycle" and is road legal in Europe.
The gearbox is an elastic band automatic.
We use it to tow behind a campingcar.
It is towed using a conventional tow coupling lifting the front wheels off the ground so that it can be reversed.
If it were a trailer, it would not need to be braked but because it is a car and has brakes, they must work mechanically or hydraulically when towed.
We have fitted a link from the over-run tow coupling brake to the foot brake.
Insurance is £495/E620 Third Party, Fire and Theft.
It can be driven on a motorcycle licence but a car licence is OK too.
The drive is fixed diff so tends to "scrub" on corners.
Because the speedo is electronic, it doesn't register towed miles.
It cost about £3000/E3750 new but without windscreen and towing equipment so about £3500/E4375 as it is.
We have a quick-release steering wheel and wheel clamp for security.
The nose weight is around 80Kg.
It does about 35mpg/12.5Km/Litre.

Fun to drive...

No that we have got the basic questions out of the way, I can ramble on a bit more easily.
We love it. It makes each journey to the supermarket an adventure and gets us lots of fresh air...
When being towed you hardly know it is there. So much so that Liz insists we keep the rear view camera trained on it just to make sure it is there! Given that we weigh nearly three and half tons and we only have a 1.9 litre petrol engine, it is surprising how little it drags. We are a bit slower on the uphill climbs but nothing that would cause a drop in gear.
The other big plus for us is that it is not a problem to reverse it. With my navigational skills, we have had plenty of occasions to do so.

Tow hitch

Getting ready to tow it is a little more fraught. The tow coupling is heavy at around 75Kg. This is mainly due to the modern regulations for couplings which are bound to be heavy and the fact that no-one makes one rated at less than 900Kg.[caption id="attachment_71" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="Bradley's smallest braked coupling"][/caption]
The first bit involves poking the bar under from the front to engage two hooks just between the front seats.[caption id="attachment_72" align="alignnone" width="400" caption="Hooked end ready to fit under buggy"][/caption][caption id="attachment_73" align="alignnone" width="400" caption="Point between seats for hook location"][/caption]
Once hooked in place. we use the jockey wheel to raise the threaded locating pin into the front hich plate on the front of the buggy - because we are wimps and can't be bothered to lift it. The T-bar holding the nut can then be easily screwed tight to hold it in position.[caption id="attachment_74" align="alignnone" width="400" caption="Hitch plate welded to front of buggy"][/caption]
The over-run brake is fitted with a quick release shackle that shortens as it closes.[caption id="attachment_75" align="alignnone" width="354" caption="Marine-type quick release shackle on over-run brake linkage of coupling."][/caption]
The brake peddle has a steel cable leading to a carabiner or crab by way of a hole under the front of the floor.[caption id="attachment_76" align="alignnone" width="400" caption="Cable attached to brake peddle"][/caption] The shackle links to the caribiner to make the brake linkage.[caption id="attachment_77" align="alignnone" width="243" caption="Cable from brake peddle terminated by carabiner"][/caption] Although we have never had to do so, if you were reversing up a steep incline, the over-run brake could apply the buggy brake. It is a simple matter to release the shackle and thereby diasable the brake for reversing.

The lifting on bit for wimps

The most difficult bit is lifting the buggy coupling unto the tow hitch of the van. Since we are not into weight lifting, we start by using the jockey wheel to raise the front of the buggy off the ground. Sadly, this does not give enough height to take it over the tow hitch and so we use a bit of wood to prop it while we drop the jockey wheel for a second lift.
Because we have a large back box there is a little problem with raising the tow hitch handle at the appropriate time. We have overcome this by using a small block & tackle which goes between the back box and the van to a ring and another carabiner. This does the job nicely.
Disconnecting the tow is just a matter of reversing the process...

Lighting

We have fitted lighting sockets on both back and front of the buggy. This enables a short cable to connect the van to the buggy and gets all the buggy lights working.
Because we haven't yet got a van number plate for the buggy, we also use a towing board on the back of the buggy. This plugs into the back socket.
The towing board is also useful without the buggy. The back box could be said to, if not obscure, make the number plate of the van less easy to read. Especially if you are as tall as those wretched speed cameras! The towboard bolts on to the back of the back box and we have yet another lighting socket fitted on the lid of the box. This may seem odd but the effort and crouching to take the board lead all the way round the lid of the back box to the tow hitch socket just got to be a nuisance. This way the towboard only needs about 2ft of lead and no crouching is required.

What boot?

We quickly found that trips to the supermarket and days out required some storage space. This wheeled box cost 14 Euros in a Casino supermarket and is almost made-for-purpose.[caption id="attachment_78" align="alignnone" width="400" caption="What other car has a detachable wheeled boot that takes your shopping right into the kitchen?"][/caption] Since taking the photo, I have abandoned the strap and fitted one throgh the floor of the box. Much easier to use...

My Take on the Law

My understanding is that a trailer weighing (MAM) of less than 750Kg does not need to be braked UNLESS it is a vehicle fitted with brakes. In which case those brakes must be used when towing. Further, the means of activating the brakes must be either mechanically or hydraulically operated. The principle, as I understand it, is that you should not be at risk of the brakes failing through a battery going flat or an air tank becoming exhausted. In other words, the brake system must be indefinitely sustainable.
Again in my reading, the vehicle trailor must be reversable. There has been some suggestion that this must be possible without the driver haing to leave the cab of the towing vehicle. I cannot find any evidence in support of this theory - but, of course, I stand to be corrected.
If my understanding is correct, an A-frame, whilst not illegal in itself, cannot by configured in such a way to make it conform to the law with regard to the braking and reversing issues.
Hence the buggy!

[caption id="attachment_15" align="alignnone" width="240" caption="3 burners, small fridge, no oven and no worktop..."][/caption]New full cooker with the essential "proper oven"; new larger fridge;[caption id="attachment_17" align="alignnone" width="232" caption="New automatic fridge, self-lighting cooker with two ovens and worktop"][/caption]
Pity I didn't have the guts to move the bulkhead really...
[caption id="attachment_18" align="alignnone" width="167" caption="This was the fifth (single) bed with mini-dinette"][/caption]
This became the "office" with the drivers seat from an MR2![caption id="attachment_19" align="alignnone" width="271" caption="Desktop PC under the desk which can be expanded"][/caption]
In fact the only thing left inside was the wardrobe and the lavatory!

image: flattop341

And, I'm sure you are all on the edges of your seats waiting for an update on the status of my lady parts.  I think about it so much, I just have to assume that everyone else does too. I finally got in touch with Nurse to a T regarding my second period in two weeks and had a very unhelpful converation full of, "what exactly is the problem" and "I don't know what we can do for you" and, my favorite, "I'm not really familiar with charting."  Talk about frustrating.

The final consensus was that my initial "period" was probably withdrawal bleeding from all of the hormones and this period is the real period.  From a charting perspective, I started a new chart and everything has been reset. The good news is that Big Red appears to be finishing up and, knock on wood, it will be boring from here on out.

I was somewhat disappointed in my conversation with Nurse to a T, though. Despite being an IF veteran, I've never had an FET before, so I had no idea what to expect. Well, I expected a normal period and then a normal cycle. But, I wasn't ever told to expect otherwise, so that was frustrating.  This was another potential nail in the coffin of my relationship with his office. 

I am still weighing my options on that particular front.  I will hopefully get a chance to sit down and talk with my neighbor who originally sent me to Dr. Uterus to see if the other REs in the area are better/worse/same.  Although, there comes a time when you hit a point of diminishing returns - he has the skills, the bed side manner, etc., but they can be outweighed by the sheer weight of negative experiences and anxiety.  I'm taking my time to make a decision because this is a big decision and I have the time.  I am lucky in this respect.

That's all the news that fits to print!

image: Brandy Shaul

For those of you playing along at home, it's CD 12 and what does my hoohah give me? Brown spotting. Loverly. The last time I spotted mid-cycle was after my first miscarriage and my cycle had gone whacko.  It took a visit to Dr. Uterus, a date with the dildocam - with a shot of progesterone in the ass to reboot the good old system. 

I have a sneaking suspicion that we are headed in the very same direction.

Fab. Totally fab.

The thing is that, with a few notable exceptions, Dr. Uterus is wonderful.  I read horror stories of other REs and I shudder at their callousness and aloofness.  Dr. Uterus is neither callous nor aloof.  He takes all the time I need to answer whatever question I have and to comfort me when I need that little extra assurance.   He has the utmost confidence that we will eventually be successful.  I know that he truly wants us to reach our goal and will do anything within his power to help us there. And, that is a powerful draw to keep me there.

But, I honestly question whether he has any understanding of what it means emotionally be a woman dealing with infertility.  Because, if he did, I think he would run his practice a lot differently.  I think this is particularly so when you consider that reproductive endocronology is usually not covered by insurance and couples and individuals are paying out of pocket.  Wouldn't you make yourself stand out from all of the other doctors who are offering these kinds of services? Wouldn't you make it as stressless as possible for those women who need to seek out your services?

If that is the case, then why would you make your infertility patients sit with all of the pregnant ladies for your partner, the high risk OB?  I don't begrudge him the fact that she probably hauls in a lot of dough, but is it too much to ask to let us who are dealing with infertility access the office through a separate, infertility entrance?  And, while we're at it, how about completely segregating your office space from the high risk OB so that I don't have to see the 3-D ultrasounds of the squished up babies on my way out to pay for the pleasure of the dildocam? I mean, really. Is that necessary?  And, don't even get me started on when people bring their children in. 

I will be the first to admit that I'm no doctor. I don't have the slightest clue about how to make a practice profitable and successful. But, I have been an infertility patient for 2 years now with Dr. Uterus and I've been to that office so many times that my feet know the exact pattern to walk on the floor and I can predict the size of my follicles on the screen.  In other words, I know what would make my experience at that office good and what will make it bad.  And I know that even though I've been making comments about it to Nurse to a T, none of it has changed.

The thing is, I have this sinking feeling that if I were to bring these concerns to Dr. Uterus directly, I don't think that he would give them much consideration.  Which brings me right back to where I started: after all of these years treating women with infertility, hasn't he seen enough to know how not to make an experience for someone dealing with infertility? Or, is it not a big enough of a deal for him to do something?

Maybe I should make it a big enough deal.

image: Théo La Photo

Missing:

Last seen: July 21 in the bathroom

If spotted, please contact Mrs. X

(p.s. given what happened last week, it is very unlikely that I'm knocked up, so please no calls about taking a pregnancy test.)

********* Update **********

In an extremely eerie coincidence, Shinejil's order to the Red Army to get a move on happened right around the time that it started to move out.  Maybe she should add Period Conjurer to her resume?

image: urbanmkr

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The shots and needles of outrageous fortune

Or to take HPTs against a sea of troubles?

As somone one who only pees on sticks to make sure she's not pregnant, I have never peed on the stick after a run in with Dr. Uterus.  I have waited, with baited breath, until that phone call telling me of my fate.  One of the main reasons was my overwhelming concern of a false positive since each time I've had an IUI or with my last IVF, the trigger was HCG - the same one that says you're pregnant - and let me tell you does that take a long ass time to leave your building. 

But, this time, no such dilemma. Instead, I can actually pee on a stick and reasonably trust the results.  And yet, I hesitate.  I'm enjoying this bubble of not knowing, this bubble that allows me to think that maybe, just maybe, this worked.  If I pee on that stick, that bubble might burst.  Although, the phone call will really pop that balloon like a pin.

I'm about 75% leaning in favor of doing the deed, but I think I need to sit with it a little while longer.  I'm going to the grocery store tomorrow, but I know if I have one in my house, I may not have the self-control to wait until I'm absolutely ready to know (and that wouldn't be tomorrow).

On the other hand, I just have remember the sound of Nurse to a T telling me that the test was negative to know that maybe peeing ahead of time will be beneficial, no matter what the outcome.

image: hartlandmartin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you can see, I have returned.  And, I know that the most pressing question on your mind is not how my trip was (fabulous but hectic) or whether I got to see some old friends (yes), but whether or not I actually did my PIO injection in an airplane lavatory. Well.

No.

Sorry, I know that this would have earned me the ultimate in hardcore admiration, but the timing actually didn't work out.  I did, however, do the deed in the airport bathroom, where they thoughtfully also provided a sharps disposal.  I have to say doing it in the bathroom wasn't nervewracking at all.  I was amused at the thought of someone opening the door by accident and seeing me shooting myself in the ass - I did make sure the door was securely closed first.  And, they had some soothing music on.  It was actually quite boring.

And, now, I'm tuckered, so nighty-night.

Later today, I will hop on a jet plane (ok, a Southwest flight) and head to a city of old friends for a convention and comped meals.  Mr. X will be in charge of the furry menagerie and I will not have to wake up to the sounds of a cat whining or feel said cat put all of his 13.5 lbs of butterball-ness on my full bladder while I'm trying to catch those last few minutes of sleep.  Instead, I get to be footloose and fancy free. Except for that whole no drinking thing.

image: Jim Sneddon

I have a note from Dr. Uterus to allow me and my needles to go through security.  Last time I travelled with my needles, the TSA people didn't blink a collective eye.  So, I expect similar treatment this time.  I do have to figure out how to do my Wednesday evening shot - I usually do it at 6pm and will be in the air at that time.  I touch down at 6:45pm but by the time I get my luggage and get to the hotel it could be 8 easy.  Dr. Uterus said I did have some leeway on timing, but ack.  I am not above shooting up in the airplane lavatory (would that get me into the Injection Mile High Club?) but obviously, I'd like to avoid it if at all possible.  One good knock of turbulence and ouch. I'll figure it out - I always do.  And, if I do end up doing the deed in the airplane lavatory, I will so have to blog about it!

I don't know how much internet access I will have (or how much I will want to have) and so I may be out of commission entirely until I return on Saturday (just in time for Mr. X to leave for his travel on Sunday). 

Until then, my dears, au revoir!

Please note that check out time is in nine months, give or take a few days. And, there is a penalty for early withdrawal.

So, get comfy - but not in the hallways! - and gestate away!

image: givepeasachance

*********************************************************************************************************************

As you can see, everything went fine this morning.  I was loving the Valium, which I took on a mostly empty stomach since I was so nervous up until then that it went straight to the top of my head and I was not the least bit fazed by the process.  There was still some cramping, but it wasn't as bad as last time. Mr. X was also there with me in the Smurf suit they made him wear last time and I just held his hand and pretended we were snuggling in bed rather than sitting in a procedure room with the goods on display.   Dr. Uterus pronounced it a super smooth transfer.

Of the six totscicles that we had on ice, only two made it out of the thaw, but those two were apparently "beautiful" according to Dr. Uterus.  I'll take two beauties over four crap embryos any day.

I'm now on couch potato duty (twist my arm) until next week. 

As for the dreaded beta, I'm keeping my options open.  See, I never did the POAS thing after any of my 6 IUIs or my IVF.  This was mostly because each time I used an HCG trigger and a false positive would be worse than a false.  So, I just didn't do it and waited for the blood results.  The problem with that plan, though, is I have come to DREAD the phone call.  I have tried any different number of ways to make it more pleasant - have Nurse to a T leave a message and I get it when I'm ready, answer the phone directly so I can know that moment, etc.  None of it has really worked. 

This time, I'm flirting with the idea of POAS the day before my scheduled beta so that a) I can grieve/celebrate before anything is official and b) I can decide if I want to do the blood test at all.  We'll see how I feel closer to beta time. 

Until then, I am sending telepathic messages to the two totscicles bouncing around in my uterus to burrow in for a nine month hibernation.

As for the sordid details, I swung by the IVF lab today to fill out the paperwork and we once again had to read all of the dire predictions and agree that we absolve them of any possible scenario in which our embryos do not make it into my uterus, I don't get pregnant or - and this is my personal favorite - I get pregnant and deliver and then claim that the IVF lab should raise them.  And, just for good measure they start off with this lovely sentence:

Due to circumstances of the impossibility of achieving conception through ordinary means, we Mr. and Mrs. X hereby authorize Dr. Uterus and Dr. Freakout to thaw, culture and transfer our embryos to Mrs. X in an attempt to treat our infertility.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am infertile and just in case there was any confusion, the intake paperwork listed diagnosis for admittance as INFERTILITY. Yes, it was in all caps.  And, then, I was told cheerfully that the lady there was new because her predecessor was on maternity leave.  I found this highly amusing. Silly IVF nurse, don't you know what not to say to infertile ladies - at the IVF Lab!? 

I also got my one Valium - yes, Dr. Uterus only gave me a prescription for one.  I don't know if this will have the desired effect - I had a Valium for my Lasik eye surgery four years ago and it didn't do jack shitsky to get me relaxed.  Of course, that could have been because I was super nervous about having a giant laser poked in my eye.  But, Dr. Uterus is afraid that anything more would turn me into this:

Not pretty.

And, now, it is my last evening before I am With Embryos.  I celebrated with a wonderful glass of red wine, and walked the pooch, tried to train said pooch in the "leave it" command only to find that he is one sneaky little hungry hippo and this is going to take some time, and watched Nanny 911 to see how not to parent the children that may or may not be produced from this cycle (lesson number 1: letting children eat off of the floor is not a good idea).

I am not particularly nervous or excited - tomorrow is just another day.  I'll probably be feeling a little differently once we get there (and we are assuming that our little totscicles will thaw and be good quality.  Depending upon my Valium haze, I'll try to post tomorrow with the final report.

images: holeymoon and lejoe

When I learned that I had to have a repeat SHGfor this upcoming FET, I was understandably annoyed as my last go round with the saline catheter AND dildocam all shoved up in the hoo-ha at the same time did not go so well.  So, when given the choice by Nurse to a T as to when to have the SHG - Friday or today - I did some important calculus taking into account the following variables:

1) Friday morning is the time when ALL of the big bellies are in the office for monitoring with the high risk OB with whom Dr. Uterus shares office space and

2) The office closes at 12 on Friday, so there is usually a really large rush to get everybody in and out, and

3) I was crazy busy at work and Friday was not going to be any different, but

4) If I had it done on Friday, I could enjoy my weekend without the Spectre of the SHG hanging over my head, OR

5) I could do it on Monday morning, thus prolonging when I would have to show up for work, and

6) There was less chance of a big belly dance.

All of this dizzying calculation was done in a split second - even though it took a lot longer to type it out - and I chose Monday AM.

It turned out to be a good choice.  I was relaxed from my weekend, after having decided not to think about or worry about the SHG procedure, rather just enjoy my weekend, and I had a leisurely morning before my appointment.  By the time I got to Dr. Uterus's office, I was pretty calm, and - bonus! - only one bulging belly was in the waiting room.  I had a good book and my iPod just in case, but in the end just enjoyed my book.

The procedure itself was still uncomfortable, with a few 'ows' on my part, but nothing like last time where I went home in tears (more out of frustration than anything).  The best news: my ute is cute! Well, there are no abnormalities and everything looks great.

I also had a lovely sit-down meeting with Dr. Uterus to discuss the details of the FET.  He has approved my request for Valium which apparently is not done routinely for transfers (I certainly didn't have it for my ET with my IVF), so that was very nice.  We will start with a thaw of three embryos and depending upon the number that survive and the quality after thaw, we may then go thaw the other three.  We sent five As and one B+ into thaw, so hopefully, they will reemerge with still good quality.  Ideally, he wants to put back 4 which I am ok with.  All of this is still dependent upon the results of the biopsy, but assuming is ok, we're on track. 

We have a tentative transfer date of 8/8/8.  An auspicious date if ever there was one as my favorite number is 8.  I have been popping my Estrace pills since last Wednesday and will start the butt injections on Aug. 5.  Never a dull moment.

And, just for a little infertility humor, I shared with Dr. Uterus that glorious news of the expansion of our family through adoption.  I merely told him that we had adopted - his eyes got very wide and surprised, but he recovered quickly to tell me congratulations.  I began to describe our newest addition: 6 years old, gold hair, brown eyes... four legs.  He had been had and he knew it. 

Final score: Dr. Uterus: 0, Me: 1.

I am so wicked, it hurts.

All of this may be academic since there is by no means a certainty that this will work at all, but I wanted to know for myself now if I was ready to handle everything that goes with a month where you have more than a slim chance of getting pregnant.  Am I prepared if this actually works?

When we first started down the IUI road, I was so fixated on getting that phone call that the test was positive.  That was the hardest part, right?  I was blissfully unaware that that was just the beginning of a very, very long windy road.  We took the Wrong Turn of Miscarriage on my 11-week appointment and our ride was over.  It was over even faster this last time.

As I posted before, I can no longer visualize myself getting past the 12-week mark.  It is literally inconceivable to me.  So, there is the temptation to see this as the beginning of yet another sad chapter.  The challenge is not so much getting pregnant now, as it is staying pregnant.  Of course, it was getting to the point where I thought I would never get pregnant and I did.  Now, it is where I don't think I will have a live baby.

Who knows? Maybe it's a matter of setting the bar a little farther.

image: windy_sydney

The Good: the biopsy itself took maybe a minute.  For some reason, Dr. Uterus thought I had had one before, so I politely informed him that while I had partook of the panolpy of infertility abbreviated procedures (HSG, SHG, IVF, IUI), I had not had the pleasure of an endometrial biopsy (which I don't think has an abbreviation). But, I'm always one for a new challenge!

The other good: NO MORE BUTT SHOTS!!! Can you tell how excited I am?  My tush may never forgive me - my glutes were still sore from the shots in March. Yes, March. But, truth be told, they were only sore when I poked.  Which I don't do often in polite company.

 The Bad: As with most things in life, there are more bad than good things to report. First bad thing: we won't know for almost TWO FREAKING WEEKS if the hoodwinking worked, during which time I will already be popping the Estrace pills.  Thankfully, the butt shots will not start up until some time after that.

Second bad thing: I need another SHG (insert collective 'boo' here).  My first SHG last December before our IVF this spring didn't go so well.  In fact, of all of the procedures I have had where I was not sedated, this one by far sucked the most in terms of sheer agony.  In other words, I put the hysterical in sonohysterogram.  I reminded Dr. Uterus of what a nasty time I had of it last time and he offered to use a different catheter this time.  I'll take it!

Third bad thing: it feels really, really weird to have the inside of your uterus scrapped.  I don't think I need to elaborate.

Fourth bad thing: CRAMPS!  Luckily, they heeded the smack down of the Advil I took when I got home. 

And, finally.

The Ugly: I have mentioned before that Dr. Uterus - for some imperceptible reason likely only known to him - shares his office space with a high risk OB.  If I didn't seriously think he was the second coming, I would find me an RE who did not appear to be so insensitive.  On any given day, there are very pregnant ladies in the waiting area with their husbands watching as the infertile girls come in and sign in.  We are so easy to pick out - looking straight ahead so our gaze doesn't bounce from belly to belly to belly.  No tell-tale bump, and no escort.  Most of us go it alone except for those important visits (like the first baby ultrasound or the IUI).  It can be so demoralizing when the room is filled with unborn children and their mothers and you walk in, alone and barren as a field after a harvest.  The Infertile Freak. I imagine it's what the perp walk feels like. 

What is so frustrating is that you are surrounded not only when you go in - I usually run into them when they are going on the elevator and I. Just. Know. that they are going to this office.  Today was particularly bad because I was waylaid behind a very pregnant woman and her husband (who frankly looked like he couldn't even figure out how she came to be pregnant, let alone which direction down the hall to go).  I have to walk behind them down that Long Corridor to his office and then wait behind her while she signs in and then stands there, with her huge belly mocking me.  Finally, she realized that I needed to sign in too and moved out of the way.  I wanted to run as far away as possible from those bellies.  It was like a horror movie.

But, I didn't.  I walked with as much grace as I could muster to a seat that was not connected to any others so one of those bellies could not park itself next to me.  I knew that they were all looking my flat stomach and thinking to themselves, "Oh, poor thing, she's here for the infertility doctor." And, simultaneoulsy thinking themselves to be so lucky to have a living infant growing inside of them.

I sat down and promptly opened my book, while willing Dr. Uterus's nurse to come get me so I wouldn't have to fight the urge to look at what I was missing. 

thumbs up: joeltelling, thumbs down: striatic

Singer A

Singer B

Singer C

And they are linked to each other by singing together; they are linked to the generic

Manager A

by multiple links of money flow and contractual agreement, etc.

Or, maybe you are looking at a research network and you see it consists of university professors in different countries, students in these countries on different levels, staff of government agencies who is supposed to implement, farmers and fishermen in the respective countries, who provide data etc. Everybody involved plays a lot of roles in their life (being a mother, church-member, consumer, business-owner etc.), but you would, in this case, only be interested in the role that they play in your network. Just try it out: What happens if you write their roles on your actor cards and ask: How is the typical farmer in your network linked to the typical PhD student and the typical professor?

Because the role labels are generic, the outcome would also be more generic, it would tell you much more about how people think about the structure of the network, and you would have to remind people that it is not about "how it should be". But I think there are cases when this is exactly what you are interested in: How do people think that things go in our network. And you will see that in any given network there are very different perceptions about that. In case you want to combine the "generic role labels" approach with information about individual actors, you might want to choose bigger actor cards and add names of individuals that can serve as examples of people fulfilling these roles.

Hi Eva,

We are glad that you appreciate VisuaLyzer. Here is a better link to information on our website about VZ and other social network applications:

http://www.mdlogix.com/solutions/additional.html

- allen

We discussed back and forth: What is it that we actually want to know? What is possible in the limited amount of time? How can we integrate old hands and new comers, more and less active community members? Just to give you an idea what such an activity can look like, let me give a brief outline:

We will have 3 hours, about 60 participants, 7 tables and piles of paper, post-its, pens and checkers pieces. We split up in groups of about 8 members, each group will draw one map together.

First all group members will put their own name on post-it on the map. Then the first one will take up the pens and draw links of different color between him/herself and everyone that they:
1. Interact with regularly (knowledge exchange, advice etc.)
2. Work together (paid or volunteering) to co-create something
3. Follow actively (meaning: seeking out their blog posts, websites etc. without actually interacting with the person)

The members of the working groups will interact with people beyond this small group, so they will add post-its for other community members that they interact with and draw the respective links. Once the first ones have drawn all their links, they hand the pens to the next person, who draw theirs, until everyone in this small group has added their part of the network.

A lot of the members of KM4Dev are actually also members of sister communities and it would be very interesting for everyone to know who holds double memberships, because it helps you in understanding the structure and networking beyond the immediate scope of the community. So we decided that participants will identify the relevant sister communities, draw a legend and assign different colored stickers to each actor who belongs to different communities.

We had a discussion about whether or not we wanted to talk about the influence of actors in a non-hierarchical network: Will that offend or intimidate some people? We decided to use the (influence) towers not to indicate power relations but rather how far actors are "drivers". Some members will be drivers of the content development (What is KM4Dev? How does it work? etc.) while others will be drivers of the process (Fostering and developing KM4Dev as a community, making things happen for the group). We decided that these two functions are so different that we want to give "driver towers" of two different colors for driving content and driving process. The stronger the driving, the higher the tower.

This process is slightly different to what I have done before in group meetings. Normally I would ask the group to agree on a common view of all the actors and flows within a specific issue network. This would mean: Sometimes they would draw links that are not their own but indicate that "these two actors interact". The way we do it this time, they don't have to agree on a common view but rather build one layer on top of the other, each one just talking about the own linkages. Let's see how that works and what the resulting networks look like.

Now the Knowledge Management for Development Community (KM4Dev) asked me whether we could use Net-Map at their annual meeting to get a better understanding of the links within and beyond this community. And while we will do a lot of this face to face and I'm looking forward to the buzz in the room, we are also considering those who cannot participate in person.

So today I played around with VisuaLyzer, my favorite Social Network Analysis and Visualization Program, to see whether it would be possible to actually draw the network on screen while people are contributing online. The main question was: Can you draw directly and quickly enough as to not disrupt the flow. And the answer is yes. People who use many of the standard SNA programs know how you normally have to fill in an actor matrix first and then import that into the visualization platform. Well, that's what I normally do with VisuaLyzer. But, and that's perfect for online facilitation, you can just as well double-click on the empty sheet directly to add new nodes, give them names, attributes (that can be translated into color, size, shape of nodes) and different kinds of links. That's cool! And the result could look like this:

I have recorded the workshop and promised to upload the whole thing, slides and web-cam and voice. But it needs to be cut and straightened first and as these things always take time, I'll make the slides (876K) available right now, for those of you who don't want to wait.

And, given the interest was much bigger than the places available, I'll look into organizing the next training as soon as possible.