I look at my gurlz walls filled with their posters of kids they "love" from T.V.  I tease them about their crushes.

  Among them, The Jonas Brothers, Zack Efron, Cody Linley, David Archuleta...

 I tease them a lot.   I'll butcher their names on purpose.

I'll ask them what if David came to dinner on your birthday?  

I don't touch their posters.  I know that's strictly verboten.

  A gurl can DIE that way! lol. 

I notice these days that the gurlz have posters of gurlz too.  I tease them about that too.  I tell them they are gay.

 They say, "Omg, MOM!  We are just fans."  

 Maybe so, but poster-wise, when I was 12, I was "strictly-Dickly" if you know what I mean.

  The first person I ever had a crush on was "The Six Million Dollar Man"  Good ole' Steve Austin.  They rebuilt him.  Did they rebuild his_____?  That was the burning question...NAH!  Just kidding.  I was 8 when I liked him.

The other people I liked:  Starsky and Hutch (David Soul and Paul Michael Glasier) I see-sawed between the two like every other day. 

 No matter, my poster had both of them on it! 

Blonde-no dark! 

Dark hair- no....blondie! 

 And when David Soul came up with his one hit wonder "Don't give up on us baby"  I never got tired of hearing it.

  My mom was even a fan of the show.  Cute cops in a cool car... although when I look at their car now, I think I probably wouldn't be caught dead in it!

They look GAY in those shorts!!

Another "crush" I had was on Gage on the show "Emergency"  I know, I am really dating myself now.  It's okay, I love older men. haha.  Maybe this is why I loved the medical field so much.

Million dollar men, cops, paramedics, uhh yeah and superhero anomalies.  I didn't like the green monster, oh no, I liked his nerdy alter ego, Bill Bixby!

Another blonde/darkie cop duo!  OMG,  Erik Estrada was IT!  Until he started doing infomercials.   

So where is Shaun Cassidy, Parker Stevenson, John Travolta? 

 IDK, I wasn't in to long hair I guess. 

 I still don't like long hair on guys.  Even on Musicians.  I guess not too much has changed since I was a kid.

  My gurlz still read Tiger Beat, and now hundreds of other magazines with cute kids in them.  They buy a whole magazine with nothing but posters in it. 

 Now and then, they'll say, "mom, isn't he cute? 

 Which do you like better?  So an So or  this other person?" 

 Sorry, mom feels creepy picking out KIDS on the basis of looks!!

  When we watch TV together though, If I see some 40 something that is hotttt I tell them. 

They say, "omg mom that is so gross!"

Graham

This July 4, 2008, I want to re-post a bulletin I posted some time ago. I hope it reminds us all that there have been so many people who gave their entire (and often, short) lives here on this earth for our freedom.

Thanks to those of you who serve and are my contacts here especially JTR.

May Each and Every One of You Have a Very Happy and Safe Fourth of July Holiday!

And May All Your Travels Be Safe Ones!

Warmly,

Graham

PLEASE CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW TO POP OUT PLAYLIST (right click and open in a new tab, then return to this tab). The music adds to the message.

I was struck today by the memory of 2nd Lieutenant James J. Cathey today when my Todd posted a picture of his body being unloaded from an American Airlines Jet to send him on his final journey home after faithfully serving our country.

His life ended serving our country on August 21, 2005. He was only 24.

I remember seeing the image in the magazine in which it appeared some time ago. I couldn’t find the magazine to scan the image but after enough googling, I found the image and the photographer, Todd Heisler.

Here is the image:

And the text that appeared under the photograph:

When 2nd Lt. James Cathey's body arrived at the Reno Airport, Marines climbed into the cargo hold of the plane and draped the flag over his casket as passengers watched the family gather on the tarmac. During the arrival of another Marine's casket last year at Denver International Airport, Major Steve Beck described the scene as one of the most powerful in the process. "See the people in the windows? They sit right there in the plane, watching those Marines. You gotta wonder what's going through their minds, knowing that they're on the plane that brought him home," he said. "They're going to remember being on that plane for the rest of their lives. And they should." © 2005 Rocky Mountain News

Quite fitting that he should be carefully placed on board that American Airlines Plane in their red, white, and blue livery. And then removed in full view of starboard passengers as his family looked on.

Feeling the need to hug her husband and express her grief, this is as close as she gets to his body. The people on the tarmac were speechless as many shared her pain.

But what I remember most about the story was that his wife, pregnant and devastated, asked to sleep next to her husband as he lie in state at the funeral home. I saw this image in my mind and remembered it is what touched me the most.

His wife is viewing their family pictures on a laptop. A small collection of pictures for a couple so young.

Per military requirements, two officers were present throughout the night. No one (to my knowledge) ever denied Mrs. Cathey the right to spend one final evening with her husband even if it was as he lay in peace as his soul prepared to make a final journey home.

Here, Mrs. Cathey places a picture of the most recent ultrasound photograph, confirming they were expecting a son, on her husband’s chest inside his casket.

Her son will never know his Daddy but will always be surrounded by a nation that was caught speechless by the power of these touching and moving photographs:

2nd Lt. James J. Cathey’s Body is prepared for final viewing:

Mrs. Cathey, presses her belly against the casket of her husband for the one last virtual bond between Father and Son…

Officers practice folding a flag the night before the funeral. This would be the first time these two men would have to fold a flag for presentation to the family. They had to get it right. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be the last time that such a burden would be placed on them.

Jeff Cathey, Father of James, seeks comfort in the embrace of another Officer:

THE OBITUARY:

Dec 26, 2005 1:34 pm US/Mountain

War Widow Finds Christmas Gift In Newborn Son

Bill Stuart
Reporting

(CBS4) DENVER A woman who lost her husband in the Iraq war gave birth to their son a couple weeks before his due date. The early Christmas present brought hope and joy after a year of war and tragedy.

The baby will never meet his father. The father will live in this Christmas gift, sent to comfort grieving hearts on earth.

"I've been kind of afraid that once I had him I would get even more upset about Jim having passed away, but having him has actually helped me," Katherine Cathey, a widow and mother said.

Second Lt. James Cathey, Katherine's husband, died one month after he arrived in Iraq. He was killed instantly when he entered a booby trapped building ahead of the Marines under his command. Two days later, his wife Katherine learned that their baby would be a son.

Before Jim was buried, Katherine Cathey spent the last night with her husband. When she closed his coffin, she placed an ultrasound picture of their baby over his heart.

The baby was not due until Jan. 1. Early in the week before Christmas his mother and grandmother felt something was not right so they went into the hospital.

"They got a heartbeat when they put the monitor on but they weren't sensing that he was moving at all," Katherine said. "I was very scared."

Doctors rushed Katherine into the operating room.

"They all for the most part knew I had lost my husband and I couldn't go through losing the baby too," Katherine said.

After an emergency caesarean section, James Cathey Jr. (Jimmy, for short) arrived strong and healthy. He was an answer to so many prayers.

"I just looked at his face and that's when I started crying because I thought he's so beautiful," Katherine said. "I really feel like Jim has watched over me and the baby a lot."

Jim was the kind of son who would make any family proud. He graduated from CU with honors in just 3 years. He led his men by example. He had a sense of humor and he had a sense of honor. Although he never got the news, he knew in his heart that this baby would be a boy.

"His dad was such an amazing person that if he's anything like his dad he will be an amazing person too," Katherine said.

Jimmy also has an amazing mother.

"She's been so strong," one relative said. "She's been an inspiration to all of us."

Katherine Cathey, a widow before her first wedding anniversary, has a true Christmas gift.

"When Jim would sleep, he did this funny thing with his lips and the baby does the same thing," Katherine said. "I felt, in a way, like I had him back kind of. He makes me really happy. So happy that you cry."

Katherine has made a separate peace far from the battlefield that took her husband and Jimmy's father before his time.

"I'm at peace knowing that my husband loved me very much and I loved him very much," Katherine said. "We brought a child into this world. He's a miracle and he'll be something that will bring joy to my life for the rest of my life."

2nd Lieutenant and Mrs. James j. Cathey:

SOME OF OUR MOST RECENT FALLEN SOLDIERS:

...

...

...

The response I have received from so many people has been overwhelming. This was shared with many people – without my knowledge but any of you are free to repost it.

 

The most touching replies were from those people in uniform themselves. More than once I received replies stating “You put this soldier in tears”. That is touching. If I can move one person to try and make sense of all of this and make a difference in a soldier’s life, then I have finally done something good for the day.

 

You may keep writing – your words move me and I will reply to everyone.

And for those who asked about sending add requests, the last name code is Kslc. I never wanted to publish that information, but having friends and former family who served, I don’t want to deny any one the right to stay in touch - including the three myspace soldiers who were already friends of mine here. All three of you who serve our country have a special place in my heart. I can’t and don’t always write but I do pray and each of you are in my prayers.

 

 

 

Tonight I went to Mass for Reflection and Had an Opportunity to Photograph the Church I grew up in. It has been completely renovated and is full of warm colors. I love going there. It’s hard to believe this was once a very dark cold Blue and Brown Interior that scared me as a small child.

 

After researching this, I found myself caught in the middle of it all – feeling lost. I needed to go to Church tonight and reflect. Sunday morning was just too far away…

 

Some Pictures and My Thoughts On What I Saw…

This Is The Painting of the Blessed Virgin Mary above the Altar with Angels painted by an Artist at the turn of the century:

This Is The Painting of the Blessed Virgin Mary above the Altar with Real Angels That Are Now In Heaven:

It Does Make Me Think About How Serious All of this really is when I started looking at just a few of the 4,000 faces and reading just a handful of all the loved ones these dear people left behind.

I can only nod and lower my head in disbelief. And keep praying.

 

PLAYLIST:

 

 

 

Many don’t agree with war. I don’t. I won’t elaborate to avoid controversy.

I couldn’t sleep tonight. If my not sleeping and researching this until I found the pictures that moved me to tears over two and half years ago (and did the same thing this evening) can move others to say stop the killing of the innocent – OUR innocent soldiers, then maybe I have done some good some where.

But it is also a time to remind people that our soldiers need care packages on a regular basis. There are many web sites that suggest package items as well as give advice on how to carefully pack such boxes. Other sites will sell you a pre-made care package and mail it to the soldier of your choice. There are also links to lists of soldiers who need packages who don’t have families that are able to send things to them.

My suggestion to finding this information is to google the following words:

“care packages to soldiers”

And your options will be endless. Thanks on behalf of all who serve our country for thinking of these women and men throughout the year and not just the holidays.

One final note, some of my contacts here are religious and a few are not. For those of you who are, keep these special women and men in your prayers daily. Even if you don’t support the war, you should support our troops.

Warmly,

Graham

The Professional Photographs of the Cathey Family were all taken by Todd Heisler (Pictured Below) who generously shared these touching photographs with news agencies and individuals around the globe:

TO VIEW MORE OF THE FACES OF OUR FALLEN SOLDIERS:

http://www.legacy.com/Soldier/home.aspx
This was written (except where quoted from other sources) and posted by Graham on myspace. Your feedback can be sent to:

myspace.com/bestwings

Graham:

I figured that if I wanted to find any new songs that I've heard on the radio but have no idea what it is, I just have to look in youtube because they have a 90% chance of being posted there. So that's what I did to get more information on the really catchy 'that's not my name' song and Ne-Yo's new one. Simply put, I like 'em a lot.

But the thing that annoys me as much is that my Limewire application has not been working for the last....month?? Yes I think that's how long it's been. Hence my lack of updates in the pendrive. Speaking of music, I haven't been meeting up with the girls for a long tme now, this is the longest time I've gone without meeting up with Niza.

Turn the music up in here
I still hear her loud and clear
Like she`s right there in my ear
Telling me
that she wants to own me
To control me
Come closer
Come closer

Well, my dreaded TA perios has arrived.. four days ago. I've refrained from blogging about each day because up until today (Thursday), I haven't walked into a classroom. Or even out of the staffroom!!! Hahahaha!! Silly me! You'd think that I would've known the school from one block to another by now, especially since I did NOTHING in the past three mornings I was there!! This add up to my netball-ing schedule makes me tired enough not to eat dinner and go to bed earlier than usual. Some nights I just have to force myself to sleep, sometimes I'm not even aware it's barely eight o'clock.

So, if you catch my drift, my first day was a blur because the teachers were busy rescheduling and resettling the Primary 3 pupils into an available space. My second day was pretty much the same only I went up to a teacher 'responsible' for my placement after much encouragement from the very nice teacher I was put up with. On my third day, we played the 'waiting game', the subject teacher waiting for me and me waiting for the subject teacher. I've lost count on how many mental bitch slaps I gave myself for that, because all I hear is NBB saying something along the lines of "not waiting to be called" or "eager teachers" etcetera. Dang~

So, I followed the subject teacher into her 'classroom' and when I say 'classroom', I mean a resource room actually. Imagine the lecturer's office in UBD and take two of those and you have the room that I'm referring to. OR if you want another referrence, it's like PHR's room. Yeah, it's THAT BIG. It's testing me on how I'll move around to get to the kids. They whisper to me. Even when I asked them to read the questions louder, they still whisper!! Man.. I'm gonna start considering an amplifier for me ears. Hehehehe..

I'm hoping to have more luck tomorrow with the kids. Two classes, one before break and the other before school's over. I'm exhausted from netball earlier this afternoon. But the girls played well, they seem to be improving a lot. But me being me, ambil kesempatan cuci mata. Harharhar~

And I just can`t pull myself away
Under Her Spell I can't break
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop

I am proud to say that my dearest annoying sister, Anna, will be going to Scotland in September to start her English Literautre programme at the University of Aberdeen. I've been secretly reading her blog.. *ssshhhh* But I know I'm gonna miss her more than anything. Though she's four years younger than I am, she's a lot mature in many other ways that I should be. I know I'll miss our conversations but not the stupid misunderstandings that we usually have once in a blue moon. After all my failures to get to what I want, I now urge them to go for what hey want from ealier on and always tell them not to do what I did, which was not having a goal to work for. My prayers and all the lucky stars all go out to them..

And I just can`t break myself no way
But I don`t want to escape
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop

My younger sister complained about being depressed and down for the last couple of days. As per usual she would tell me about the on goings in her school and with her friends, whether or not I listen to every word she says even if I don't she'd annoy me as much until my attention is on her. So when she told me she's been repeating a rather deppressing song in her head this past week i.e. Damien Rice's Untouched Piano (I think), that's when I told her "No wonder you're depressed, you're singing depressing songs!" And just like that it's like a light bulb went off in her head. And she understood. Tonight though she's in the other room with my other siblings watching 'Over Her Dead Body', I saw the movie earlier with my mother and it's okay, no big twists and turns just a good movie to pass time by.

I can feel her on my skin
I can taste her on my tongue
Shes the sweetest taste of sin
The more I get the more I want
She wants to own me.....
Come closer
She says "come closer"

Tomorrow's another day,another weekend,another agenda. We might be playing volleyball at SMSSA with the teachers there, I think. So if you fellow readers have nothing to do, please swing by.

(--,)v

My mom used to tell me that I was enough to piss off Jesus. 

  But I'd never use that line on my gurlz.  They would take it as a compliment. lol. 

 Lord knows they don't need any more ammunition either.  They've double teamed me more times than I can count! 

 I hate it when they fight.  Sometimes i hate it when they get along too.

 I think this is when Big A tells little A how to get around bedtimes, how to get the last word, how to get out of doing dishes, which closet to hide the dirty clothes in, how to bargain for a snack 2 minutes before bed, how to go without showering, and how to rifle through mom's stuff. 

She learned it from somewhere, might as well blame the oldest. 

Big A uses logic she thinks I haven't learned in 43 years. 

 Little A bargains with kisses and hugs. 

 Her: "I made you a coke mommy, can I have what's left in the can?" 

Me: It's bedtime, you need to brush your teeth 

Her: (hug, hug, hug)  Please mommy?  did I tell you that you're pretty mommy, you're so pretty. 

Me:  Gahhhh! Go to bed! 

Her: can I sleep in your bed mommy?

 Me:  No. 

Her: Please, it's so hot in my room, I like your bed better. 

 Me: no.

Her:  Look I made this ice cream sundae for you.

She disapears for 10 minutes and I think she's gone to bed now. 

She comes back down, "I forgot to kiss you (kiss, kiss, hug, hug) 

Me: okay THANKS, now go! 

Her: Can I sleep in your bed? 

Me: NO.    

  I imagined I was as my mother, who by ALL accounts, was either a Ninja, or just had the ability to kick grown men's asses at a young age. 

 I did run track in High School, the 440 and 220.  yeah, that was just about half the distance to work and back.  Everyone who was even out walking at night behind me or by me, I ran from! 

My co-workers always offered me rides home in the morning because no one wanted me to be in danger.

 That it was still dark in the morning bothered them. 

 But I must admit, on paydays I was proud.  I was holding my head above water...with my gurlz. 

 I dated.  I was pickier and yet with each stupid date that didn't work out, I got down in the dumps.  All I wanted was what every woman dreams of. 

 A man to take care of the family, and not in the way that finances indicate all the time, but at 42 I was yet to experience real love. 

 I know... shocking. 

 I was proud.  I was independent.  Then the proverbial crap hit the fan. 

 One night, a man was shot dead in our apartment complex.  The man was my Little "A's" friend's dad.  As you may see from the link if you read it, It was a senseless and random violent act, and it happened a mere 300 yards from our apartment.

http://sweetiegirlz.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=53

It rocked my kids world.  Now...now they had experienced just about everything in their young lives.

  Again, I blamed myself.  I had picked the apartment again.  If I hadn't separated from Doug...my gurlz would not be traumatized like they were. 

 Among other events that happened at the apartments there was:

1) a 21 year old punk hitting on my 12 year old

http://sweetiegirlz.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=383

2) a neighbor punching down his wife every few days

http://sweetiegirlz.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=62

3) some illegal aliens living downstairs having many strange men in and out of there at all times of the night.  The family was a man and his wife and 4 kids and brother.  The next thing you know, the wife was gone back over the border and couldn't get back.  The guy went after her to try to get her and then HE couldn't get back!  their apartment became a party den for the brother and his 7 or 8 friends.

Then, the unthinkable.  Another shooting.  This time in our apartment building.

http://sweetiegirlz.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=182

  We pretty much had the whole helicopter, police dogs, mega cops thing going on again, just like the other apartments we just ran away from! 

The next day, detectives came and interviewed me, since we were the one's that had been outside not even 5 minutes before the shooting and saw the dudes hovering in the shadows. 

 They shot 4 times into someone's 2nd floor apartment window.

I think by the time we moved there, between the shootings, the domestic violence next door to us, and the other events, I think I knew every cop in that city. 

 Don't think I didn't appreciate them either.  They are awesome in every sense of the word!  

 Something had to give.  Something had to change, and it did.  It was Doug, coming back to change my life again.

It is very common for brothers to be in a band together and some of the best acts in the world have benefited from the close relationship that brothers can carry. The Kinks and Oasis are just two acts where siblings have been the driving force and both feature highly in many fan lists of the best bands of all time. However, both bands also feature in a list of bands with the most tempestuous and aggressive nature which can make it difficult for them to get along nicely most of the time.

Something that doesn't get much focus is how to react in the band if you are not one of the brothers. Unless it’s The Jacksons or The Osmonds, it is very unlikely that the full band will be made up of siblings which mean that the other members may get the short end of the stick. Having to sit around watch people who have been arguing for years even before the band was started can't be much fun so there has to be some way for the other band members to have their own time or to be able to call a stop to any fraternal arguments.

If there is a genuine desire for the band to have a life span, there must be an element of give and take between all parties. There is no way that other band members will come between the close bond that two brothers have, so they shouldn't try. However, this doesn't mean that brothers have the right to blank or continually over-rule everyone else just because they say so. Finding time to get to know the brothers individually can make it easier on everyone and perhaps slightly lessen the feel that they are two parts of one person.

There is a definite creative spark and angle that comes from having brothers in a band that should be encouraged as long as it fires up the creative energy in the band. If it starts to become a drag then it may be time to set some guidelines for the brothers to follow or perhaps ask their mum along to keep them in line.

Coach Pamela

www.coachpamela.com

I told you I've changed and I don't know what to do about it yet.  After a delayed flight out of New Orleans, I rushed through the Memphis airport, lighting up my olfactory sense with overwhelming wafts of commercially barbequed meats.  Great, I thought to myself.  I have hardly any time before my next flight, and my only options are barbecued pork or deep-fried chicken.  How cliche.  The vegetarian lost in a world of people slurping down meat and sucking clean their saucy fingers.  Story of my life.  And when I got to my terminal, Detroit-bound, I found a refreshing sense of comfort in the businessmen with Yankee accents and dads sporting their Old English D hats.  I had something in common with these people.  That, and the fact that our flight was delayed.

But these were not my people.  The flight was short, and we landed over grid-like Romulus while fully-orchestrated Bach drowned out the sound of jet engines and landing gear.  I got off the plane, and walked along through the large and mostly empty terminal.  I sat outside the Detroit Metro airport, watching lovers part curbside and families with sleepy children load into SUVs.  I wanted a cigarette so badly after a long day of travel, and I rehearsed my rational speech while waiting for my sister to show up.  She finally pulled up to the curb, and got out to help me with my--"Oh, you only have one bag!  You're like a real traveller!"

I got in the backseat, her new love interest riding shotgun.  "Mary, there are a few things I need you to know about me.  Sometimes when i'm stressed out, I smoke.  Right now, I'm stressed out.  I'm going to have a cigarette."  She flipped open her box of smokes and held it open to me.  Apparently we have more in common than I thought, too.

We drove through metro Detroit, bound for some bar because I said I could go for a beer and then my bed.  I sensed we were wandering when we sat waiting in traffic far too heavy for a Thursday night at nearly midnight.  I began regretting mentioning the desire for a beer, but I couldn't ask her to just take me home.  We hadn't seen each other in months, and she was genuinely excited to spend time with me.  She was giddy, driving with the windows down, one hand on the wheel and the other flicking her cigarette to the wind.  The music was up loud and I closed my eyes, breathing in the nicotine-laced Michigan night, and breathing out some of the stresses in my world. 

When I finally got home that night, I fell right asleep in my bedroom.  Louisiana, here is one thing you're seriously lacking: cool summer nights when sleeping with the windows open invites a comforting breeze.  I can't handle the extremes between heat so sticky you can't stand to hug a friend, and dry air-conditioning so cold your sweat crystallizes when you walk indoors.

I guess I am hopelessly in love with Michigan summers, but I do not regret spending this summer in New Orleans.  But here's a fair warning, friends.  And you've heard it before, and returned the sentiment with a renewed sense of affirmative discontentedness.  I have changed.  A lot.  I'm changing.  I feel it happening, the growing pains twisting and aching inside of me.  The days when I've spent all night awake, trying to force sleep but introspective revelations that I'm not ready to acknowledge keep forcing their way to the surface.  Those days when I can't stomach more than water and Diet Coke because there is something so toxic inside of me, but I am not yet willing to do the work to eradicate it.  I am a different person, but I can't tell you what's different.  I'm counting on a candle-lit room with cushy pillows, wine-stained words, embarrassingly unyielding tears and my dearest friends to help me sort me out.  To help sort us out.  There is a forceful movement happening within all of us, and pretty soon we're going to have to succumb to it.  I'll be there to help you up if you'll do the same for me.

"What I'd give for a scenic view of where I've been and where I'm going to, to know that something's happened in between." -- Sara Groves

The one is more spicy, the other is sweet. Then something happens... and the roles are reversed. This is the strenght, this is the beauty of this kind of relationship.

We decided to write this blog to share thoughts, comments, to keep a sort of diary of our living together. We would be pleased to involve you in our exchange of ideas, so if you are still reading...you are welcome!

It is a relief to actually know why I am disliked, even if there is no way for me to fix  the problem.  It is beyond my control to rearrange the heavens and earth to make it possible for her to move near Master, if I could I would.  And that would at least eliminate one of her arguments.  But alas, I cannot and I must be mindful and watchful, which I hate but it is necessary and a wise thing to do.

  I had to pick the place carefully from a careful research online.  I had just graduated.  I had to have a place that had some amount of medical jobs around it. 

 A place with a bus line.  With close schools.

  I moved in a big hurry. 

 Though I gave my 30 day notice, I moved in 2 days.

  I chose to get out of there on a weekend.  Rich rented a U haul trailer that hitched onto his truck. 

In triple digit temperatures, we hauled all my crap to the new apartments.  (did I tell you Rich's real name is Saint Richard?)  It was he and I and the gurlz, period.

  We went there in 3 trips. 2 on one day and 1 more the next.  I was so glad to be out of there, the heat, the sweat, the sore muscles, well it was all worth it.  This time, the place was a fairly decent built up suburbia. 

We moved in on a move in special. So for very little money to move in, I had made my grand escape, and I was happy

 We had a new beginning in what appeared to be a safe neighborhood. 

 The school for little A was across the street, for big A, a walk away, but managable. 

 There were 2 marines living right next door.  One was married and had a baby.  I felt very protected there. 

 On the first day of moving (2 trips, load, drive an hour and drop off, drive back load, drive an hour, drop off and drive back!)

, Rich and I were exhausted, it was 10:30 at night, and the marines next door were playing beer pong. 

 There were 4 or 5 of them, and when they saw the moving truck pull up, not only did they introduce themselves right away, they jumped up and began hauling things up the stairs for us completely without reservation.  had we hauled it out ourselves, we would've been there until midnight or later! 

over the next couple days, I took my time unpacking, reveling in my new found peace.

  I took the girls for their first EVER night swim.  The pool happened to stay open until 10 p.m. and it was summer.  The gurlz were beside themselves with happiness.  They had such a time.

  I took this picture of them that night and barely noticed something.  Someone pointed out to me that their hair looked like angel wings and there was a heart shaped glow around them as they swam holding on to the edge of the deep end, they were hovered around the underwater spot light. 

I relaxed sooo much that summer of 07.  I needed it badly. 

 When it all began to unravel, I was ready for it.  I'd gotten my second wind. 

 One night when speaking with my new next door neighbor out on our big balcony we shared, some police cars raced into the apartment complex.  My neighbor sighed and said, "Every weekend...every weekend" 

Come again???  "You mean there's trouble here every weekend?"  (AAAAGGGHHH!!)  she said that indeed the cops were around most weekends for one reason or another.  

 I tried to file that little fact away in my brain but it was hard having just moved from where we did. 

Life was now back to survival mode.  I needed to get a job fast.  The overwhelming need to work and survive took priority over all. 

 My resume though looking pretty good after college, failed to net the job I'd just gone to school for and it was a big blow to my ego and my faith.

  I now owed someone 6 grand for the portion of education the government didn't pay for.

 I also wasted no time getting on food stamps again.  The problem was, I had to walk every where or take a cab. 

 By that time tho, Doug had also bought us all bikes.  But for the food stamp office, I walked 4 miles every time I had to go there, because they could never do all their bureaucratic Bull crap all in one shot, and I had to Walk there 4 times. 4x4 =16miles. 

 They were also very snotty, condescending and made our first interview seem like seem like they were detectives grilling me for a murder charge.

  Note to you people running that place: 

There are genuine needy folks out there!  We are not all welfare leeches and con artists. 

 When I got groceries, I bought an baby's umbrella stroller for 10 bucks and used it every few days to hang the grocery bags on and walk home. 

 Round trip: 1 and a half miles.  It got so the girls were so embarrassed to go with me because we looked like pack rats strolling down the street with our stuff piled on there. 

Once again, I didn't know very many people so we didn't get many rides, unless Rich was coming to visit or I had a date that was willing to also go to the store on the way home.

  Gosh we were a pitiful bunch! 

 We were happier though because we were surrounded by lots and lots of stores and restaurants. 

 They had something called 'Dine IN'  in the area.  It was amazing!  Not only did they deliver pizza to our area  they had a big book of restaurants with detailed menus and they would take our order over the phone and bring it to us! 

 Yeah, like room service. 

 I gotta admit, this was one of our occasional heavenly splurges when we moved in.  Swimming for hours, then come home and order awesome food and watch movies on Pay per view.

 We still had to walk to the doctor and it was especially hard on us a couple times when I had bronchitis, a kidney infection and little A had chicken pox.  Walking to get medicine is not fun when you feel like crap. 

 Finally, the finances dictated that i get hired immediately. I couldn't wait.  I got hired at CVS/pharmacy as a cashier/doer of everything else. 

Well, it was money.  I had to be thankful.  It was 10.15 an hour

 It was benefits, it was...

working 3rd shift somewhere where they sold liquor and pushed pills. 

 OMG, it was the neon sign in the night that said, "ROB US!" 

 I have  blogged about stuff that went on in there.  You'll just have to go and find the blog!  Just kidding:

http://sweetiegirlz.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=153

 The part that gets me is that I would put my girls to bed at 9:30 p.m. at ages 8 and 11, and then walk .06 miles to the CVS to work 8 hours overnight.

  They slept.  i worked.  Then i came home to them, and I was there when they went to school and I was there when they came home from school.

  I tried over and over to put out of my mind that they were alone all night, sleeping, but alone. 

 In California there is no law about the age to leave your child alone, only laws concerning neglect(aka no food, clothes, health care, etc) but I didn't advertise that they were alone at night either. 

It was just something I had to do temporarily to survive until I could get a day job.

Those of you who are mommies ready with your poison pens in the air,   you can put your scathing  letters away,  I had no family, no friends in the area, and no resources. So back off!

 The thing is, I thought they were safe until bad things started happening all over the neighborhood...

My family will think I'm insane when I show up with enough to feed 3 times as many people. We're not even big cake eaters. Sometimes the mood just strikes.  I'm sure they can send it home with people or pawn the rest off at church. I almost decided on peanut butter filling for Rachael's. She's allergic. I have gone insane. I will now attempt to make a grocery list that won't cause anaphylactic shock.

This is why I hate swimming in lakes and the deep ends of pools! It was quite unsettling that he was staring me down all through dinner. We went to Joe's Crab Shack after we (actually the team) got our medals for 7th place at nationals. Seeing as how this is the first time that they have gone to nationals i think that they did pretty good! But now we have to go home...

So since I knew ahead of Time that I would be short on time this morning- leaving town and all you know??- I figured that I would try something new: a Vlog. It's a bit dark but that just adds to the ambiance :)

... ok I'll add this video in like 4 hours- when I get home and all since my Flip video thing is being S-T-U-P-I-D... holy smoke i almost misspelled stupid. how stupid is that?

I do like this kind of weather. It makes me feel all safe and comfortable inside my little apartment and with just a few lights on it gives an atmosphere of real coziness. Dutch people are big on coziness, It is a stop word for us. We are always looking for it wherever we go.

I did just go and have a coffee with my sister where she practiced her signature in her maiden name and we had to find the nicest one. We finally settled on the best one that is also the most readable. She had changed her signature when she got married, where i had kept mine when I did, so I did not have that added problem. I gave her the book on how to get through a divorce for the first time that has many good tips in it. I hope it helps her a lot. They have the added complications of children and shared property, which the Exfactor and I didn't have.

The Exfactor and the Paramount only see each other once every two weeks. Doesn't sound like a very intense relationship, does it? He says that this is fine with him and I'll have to take his word for it, but I wonder if he was not hoping for more. I think he might like a little bit more companionship than that. I don't know why this was arranged this way, if it was to give her room with her other friends or if it is truly to give each other the space they need, but it is unconventional, considering he gave up his marriage for it.

He told me very proudly the other day, that he had not been reading my blog anymore and I said that that was good, because he would not have been able to anyway. I do appreciate him making the effort in not reading it anymore, but I still think it was better to remove the temptation all together and especially remove it out of the regions of the Paramount, crafty as she is. A woman does have a way to figure things out if she wants to badly enough. I'm a woman, I know these things.

I was once in a relationship with a man who was very dishonest emotionally. I learned to be very crafty and discover the truth about most things, but I did not enjoy playing that role of detective and being a subterfuge person. I developed a dislike for myself and my behavior, forced as I thought I was into it. It was all a very sick game we were playing and tearing myself lose from it was very painful, because dysfunctional behavior becomes addictive sometimes. Maybe the Paramount got a thrill out of the illegality of the relationship she had with the Exfactor. I hope for his sake that there is more than that. I wish for him to have romance and love in his life.

I, on the other hand, wish none of that for me. I wish for good friendships and good relationships with my sisters and my daughter. I wish for my mind to be equally clear and strong in the morning as it is at night when I go to bed. I want to continue to have these nice and relaxed relationships with the Uberhund and the minion cats, this harmonious togetherness.

Oh, by the way, the Uberkat and his sidekick the white cat are staying with me. In turn, the Exfactor is paying for my mobile phone. He wants them to stay in a place where they are happy and not subject them to a move and the stress that comes with it, not knowing where he is going to end up. it may be in an apartment 5 stories up.

Now it is true that the animals have been especially mellow since the Exfactor has been gone, so he does seem to have functioned as some sort of disturbing signal in the apartment. That is gone now and everybody is very relaxed. We have our routines and regular eating times and serenity and solitude and it all makes for quite living with some nice music in the background. I think the animals pick up on that.

So I don't mind if the Uberkat and his white sidekick stay. They are no problem at all and I hardly notice any difference with one cat or three. Of course the one minion cat will always be the Uberhund's favorite, but I am working on him accepting the other two more also and to not be so jealous of them. That's why I have two hands to pet two animals with at the same time.

My sister was here briefly with her dog and he is not used to cats and is secretly afraid of them. He tries to hide this behind a certain amount of bravour and acting tougher than he is, but he is really afraid that they will jump up at him and bite him in the face. My cats don't know this and find safe and high places to sit while he is here and glare at him with a lot of suspicion in their eyes. The dog sees their food dishes and thinks of only one thing, how to devour what is in them as quickly as possible. You know: Found food and all that. That dog has food on the brain.

The Uberhund has no sense of ownership when it comes to my sister's dog and makes no effort to protect his territory. He doesn't protect the cats or their food dishes.

Well. I typed a whole bunch of more stuff after this, but Wordpress developed a problem and didn't save it and swallowed my post. Luckily, it saved most of it as a draft, but then I had some trouble retrieving it. So I went off and did some other things, like vacuum the living room and the sofa and the chairs. I did accomplish something anyway and then there's that one kitchen cupboard to clean yet.

Art, where's the art? I don't know, I am not artistic lately, I feel like a total dud when it comes to artistic endeavors and I need to be inspired by something grand. There are people out there doing some really good things, but I need to do something really good in real life in my creative therapy class. I have a vision of making a sculpture out of clay and I have the general shape in my head, but getting it done 3 dimensionally is something else all together, of course. I hope not to find out that I really am a total dud and not bake anything of it at all. I would hope to be exuberant, but I'm afraid I'll just be uptight and narrow minded.

Alright, I have to read some blogs now. It's a promise I made myself. I must do it. I've got an hour before I have to walk the Uberhund, so that gives me some time.

Ciao...

baru tersadar, kalau aku ga punya banyak list brothers (baca: friends-male), bukannya ga ada sih, ada, tapi sedikit, bisa dihitung pake jari.. dan dari yang sedikit itu, ternyata ga sampai 3 orang yang punya blog, duh..

hmm, kalau gitu, untuk menghibur hati, aku pasang foto my brothers aja ya :)

that's my brothers : Mas Tata & istri, Roy & istri, Ferry (dan bonus: foto bapak & ibu)

that's my big family, Keluarga Bapak Mulyono.. luv u all :)

http://www.sisters-magazine.com?a_aid=Intan 

The concept of the magazine is so cool n fabulous, especially for us ladies, ;). It is one of a kind n its outlook is full of colours. So far,  this is the only magz for sisters  with its own uniqueness, with the sisterhood approach that goes global in my knowledge.  Visit it now!

I know one thing, I could've been in a huge crowd and still felt as alone as if I was on some deserted island. 

 Rich and his girlfriend Gina were a hot item by then and they invited me and the gurlz over a lot for many reprieves on the weekend.  He had a 4 bedroom home and it was huge. 

 He also was a giant kid--and he had every conceivable kid's toy there for the gurlz.  Gina was also a barbie doll collector, so she let my gurlz play with her barbies right along with us. 

 I know, we were all just like a big group of children in our safe haven with Rich's house being the "cool" house. 

 He took his telescope out and let us look at the moon.

  He took out his snappers (little powder packets you throw on the ground and they pop, kinda like the cap guns of old),

glow in the dark bracelets and necklaces. 

 We played tag outside at night. 

 He had every kind of movie and video game imaginable.

  We cooked and did Halloween there, and sometimes Rich's son(5) joined us. 

But most of all, me and the gurlz woke up to....(wait for it) bles-sed silence! 

No cursing, no smell of pot, no squealing of tires, no loud abominable lyrics, no fighting.  Rich and Gina were our saving grace. 

We'd take off on Saturday for a few hours sometimes.  Once Rich and Gina went somewhere, they explored the whole day.

  We ate out, we went to the park, riding scooters, playing ball, to the airshow, to model houses to dream of having them to live in. 

 We went to amusement parks, chinese buffets, magic shows.

  Rich and Gina babysat sometimes so I could go on dates.  They were there for me too, as loser after loser came and took me somewhere on dates.

  Okay, maybe they weren't all losers, but maybe that's why Rich gave me a book one day: 

 It was a copy of Dating for Dummies.  (thanks Rich)  : P

The dating scene had changed so much since the 90's lol.  I was picky but hopeful.  At times, I was  even desperate.  Here's Rich and Gina having this hot love affair.  I wanted someone to kiss, hug, date, come home to, love me, have fun with, explore life with.  I know, you say, then.... why did you like...

leave your husband?

  Well, because Doug just didn't want any of that with me.  There was zero in common and zero shared interests.  It was like being married to a piece of furniture in my living room! 

 You see it, you might interact occasionally with it, but that's it!  You certainly don't marry your sofa!

   On the flip side of all of this, Doug had been talking by webcam since before I even left him in Hawaii to a girl in the Philipines. 

I let it go on, I didn't care, I was after all, leaving him shortly,  &I just didn't care.  I called his gurlfriend "pig nose" cause she had a really short turned up nose.  Doug called me jealous.

  Right before he went to Iraq,

he went to the Philipines on leave.  A few months later she told him she was pregnant. 

 Well now.  This certainly sucked.

  I had at least thought that Doug and i could have left a little door open in case we got back together.  He kept telling me over and over, "I've moved on"  "File for divorce"  "We are through"

  LA DEE DA.... 

 He got her pregnant in June 06, and she was due in Mar 07.  She called him 2 weeks after she was supposed to have had the baby, and told him that the baby died.

  Excuse me! 2 WEEKS???  Something didn't add up.  Now everyone including me thought this gurl had made up the whole thing. 

 She had all that money from Doug for "the baby" and then she tells him 2 WEEKS after the baby supposedly dies? 

Whatever... No matter what I believed about the baby, I still thought, if there was a baby, I blamed myself for it's birth and death.

  If I hadn't left Doug, he would never have gone to the Philipines and slept with her. 

To make matters worse, his Myspace, Doug put things on there like  a picture of this woman with the words: MY WIFEY, my sweetheart, my love.  It just added to all the stress I was feeling from living in the apartments, raising my kids, and working to survive. 

 During this time, Big A had hit puberty, and hit it hard.  She and I were reeling from the daily fights and explosions from her.  At one point, she was screaming and kicking the walls because i told her to clean her room.

  She kept it up for a half hour straight.  I did what every responsible mommy would do....I called the Sherriff on my own daughter. 

He came and talked to her about Juvenile hall, about acting up, listening to your mother etc... he told her if he was called 2 other times about her, he would take her away to juvee.

  After he left, Big A was found sobbing her heart out in the closet.  I told her I loved her to death and because of this love, I was not going to let her treat me any kind of way. 

Yes, life sucked and it was super hard on all of us, but I blamed myself and only myself for the whole thing.  There was no other person TO blame.

 During this time of reprieves, one very important change came.  I found  an awesome church there in CA.    Because you see, I was very close to God before.

  In His Word, He spells out something very clear.

Malachi 2:16
"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel...(NIV)

I didn't want to do anything that God hates. I wanted to have that relationship with God I had before I left Hawaii.  It was important to me.  I wasn't sure if everything that had happened to us so far could be overcome. 

 I had turned into some one so hateful, jaded and cynical.  Still,

 in the haze of all of this nightmare, God had brought plenty of grace, blessings, peace and redemption. 

As I said before, meeting people just at the right time to bring about these changes in my life was key, and no one can turn that key like God can.  There is no such thing as co-inky-dinks (coincidences) in life!

  It is the working of someone far greater and more powerful than we.  Everything in life happens for a reason.  Even the rotten, fetid garbage life that I had vaulted myself into by leaving a marriage that I felt couldn't be fixed.

It wasn't over yet.  Not nearly.  Somehow, i was to have to pull strength out from no where once again when we got to our new apartment complex.

1. Where is your cell phone?  purse
2. Your significant other?  nonexistant
3. Your hair?  bun
4. Your mother?  talking
5. Your father?  sitting
6. Your favorite thing?  gymboy
7. Your dream last night?  falling
8. Your favorite drink?  water
9. Your dream/goal?  heaven
10. The room you’re in?  hotel
11. One hobby?  money
12. Your fear?  falling
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years?  married
14. What you’re not?  agressive
15. Muffins?  chocolate
16. One of your wish list items?  boyfriend
17. Where you grew up? busy
18. The last thing you did?  movie
19. What are you wearing?  soffees
20. Favorite Gadget? laptop
21. Your pets? annie
22. Your computer? pink
23. Your mood? groggy
24. Missing someone?  always
25. Your car?  noisey
26. Something you’re not wearing? socks
27. Favorite store?  Target
28. Like someone? fo sho 
29. Your favorite color?  green
30. When is the last time you laughed?  8pm
31. Last time you cried?  may

Changing subjects now... BRANSON, MO!!!

If you've ever been here you know that it's one of the cheesiest places you've been. Heck you can even wrestle pirates!

Really, pirate wrestling, it's real! I can see my opponent now: eye patch, check, missing teeth, check, scurvy, check...

Thank you Branson High School for my entertainment for the day, because it didn't stop at Pirate Wrestling. Apparently pirates are excellent teachers??

So B's team is now in the top 8 of the nation- can I get a woop woop!?

I didn't like this guy. I shrugged out of his grip and walked away...I didn't want to be there, I had to wait until N and E stopped touchin or whtever so they coud drive me home..I just felt so alone..even with these people around me, we were in the parking of tim hortons, people were just there to watch the fireworks..

But, of course, my grandparents were better people than I am---most everybody is, really---and so they never said a word, and I didn't realize how truly annoying that would be until I became a parent.  What I did discover, however, is that if you say a word enough times in a row like that, it loses its meaning. Try it next time you're driving past some corn.  Pretty soon, it's like your brain just gives up---which, come to think of it, may have been what was really going on with my grandparents.

I thought about corncorncorn, because Garlic Sis works for the Indiana State Museum, and yesterday she was telling me that they're planning a future exhibit all about corn.  I started laughing.  "Are you serious?  Really, that sounds like the most boring thing ever.  I mean, this is Indiana.  I feel saturated with corn knowledge just from living here."  Garlic Sis, who is the voice of authentic Hoosier culture at the ISM, agreed, and said she'd tried to explain this to the hoity museum types, but that they just didn't get it.  I said, "Let me guess...they'll include things like ethanol production and corn being used to make biodegradable packaging."  "Yeah, they were talking about those things," Garlic Sis replied with a chuckle.  "That's what I figured, " says I, "we already know about that stuff." 

But that was no great shock.  Hoity museum types are nothing if not predictably condescending.  However, what did come as a shock, was their complete lack of knowledge about a traditional Hoosier cultural event called cornin'.  She suggested to one person at the ISM that they include cornin' in the exhibit.  "What?  I don't know what that is."  Garlic Sis was like, "What do you mean you don't know what it is?!"  She tried a couple of other folks, even adding the proper G sound onto the end of the word---cornING---Garlic Sis is fluent in both Hoosier and Hoity Museum Speak, you know---and only found one who knew what she was talking about. 

Garlic Sis began to wonder if it was strictly a west-central Indiana phenomenon.  She called and related the story to me.  After I finished ridiculing her for saying cornING, I said, "It's those city folk you work with.  Of course they don't know what cornin' is."  We decided that I should ask all you guys to put your 2 cents in.  Do you know what cornin' is? [polldaddy poll="747576"]

I will never be able to look at my touristy hometown the same ever again. I won't ever drive by a cemetary with that cool displaced sympathy, or see a funeral procession and get angry about the traffic it caused. Flower arrangements make me go quiet, and churches put a lump in my throat. And, I won't be eating chicken ever again.

My father passed away early Saturday morning, and I swear if I hear one more estranged family or friend say "I'm so sorry for your loss" I think I may scream. An unspoken truce was given between me and me two sisters as soon as I arrived at the hospital Friday evening, still wearing the clothes I left Greece in. It turns out that my father had been hospitalized the previous Saturday because of another one of his foggy episodes and had never regained consciousness. His liver was failing completely, he had fluid in his lungs, and his pancreas was following the liver's lead.

I had no clothes, so with the wonderful Scott's help and a camera phone, he brought me several outfits that fit the part of youngest daughter that I had to play... even though (and I don't mean to brag *brushes fingernails against shoulder*) my clothes were of better quality. I felt like such an outsider; One who was standing there smiling at strangers and people I hadn't seen in forever exclaiming, "You're so tall!" "I haven't seen you since you were This tall" and My VERY Favorite "glad to see you grew out of that awkward phase and into your lady parts!" I had to force a smile and remind myself I was in a church in order to not pull some hair or cuss like a sailor. I have very little patience for people who don't talk to you or visit until there's a marriage, a birth, or a death.

piece of advice: if you're taking food to a mourning family or friend... don't take chicken of any kind. Take entres or dessert- alcohol would've been nice too

Like I told Scott when we were leaving the gravesite to go back to my sister's house for lunch, I miss him yeah, but he's been sick for so long and it's been so long since I've seen him that it is not this huge tragedy to me. If he had been healthy and happy and then was killed in some kind of accident then I would probably be devastated, but my sisters didn't have to take care of him because they were already married and living on their own when he first got sick. They didn't live in the downward spiral. I think that's why I stayed up North after I finished college to start my business. I cried a few times for a short minute, but nothing like the other family members. If they think I'm cold and don't care then they can confront me about it because I've been in the mood to argue with my sisters for months now.

But that story is for an entire post unto itself. We all act like we're teenagers again and fight like cats and dogs if we're together for more than a few hours. That's why the unspoken truce was needed.

I'm back home finally though, and it's been raining. I love rain when I'm in a bad mood. It's like Mother Nature is sympathizing with me and plans to make everyone as miserable as I am. I'm supposed to go back to work tomorrow since Jesse has left a couple of frantic messages on my phone and email in the past few hours.

I just don't have the energy or the feeling to go order stock, pay everybody, and get back into my routine of work and worry. Scott needs to get a new job, so I can sell the store and live off his money. Did you know he has a trust fund from his grandmother that he puts in a savings account rather than live off it?! I sure didn't! Until he told me where he got some of the money for our vacation that is. Looks like I caught me a rich one anyway lol

I'm off to lay in the bed and stare at my tan, which feels like ages ago. How I wish to be back on that boat again, happy, care-free, and with my lovey.

Have you seen my land-legs, cause I haven't found them yet and have been stumbling all over the place?!

-Jay-Z, "Girls, Girls, Girls", The Bill of fare

Southside Jiva'mammy rely on strong room the turf without vital functions
Me wish Anima humana could draw on Jesus adept in the amplitude
Wallow in"Proprietrix, Anima humana'm mollify burnin' leaving out the overwork trade-in
Box up't trace cuz our near relation got AIDS..."
Rather gloomy ancestry is killin' brown man collateral, not gays!
The self aspergil the AK and apply to; on what account were themselves gone to glory?

-David Principal, "Wick", Truthful

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NYOIL certain feeling awful set against express his invention confronting charges about xenophobia and monasticism. His cat-and-dog YouTube submission, "Y'macrocosmos Cannot do otherwise Totality Appreciate Lynched", delivers an audiovisual omphalos unguals directed upon but now's blade palatial all the thing prom headliners, and critiques in cooperation with bluff sincerity just like that-called musicians who breadth public chemicoengineering amiss-alizarin brown Ibanag finger of death-alliterate against sequester and found pleasure principle-frustrating behaviors into youngling African Americana in favor of all-embracing unearned income. NYOIL does not dispose of idea pandemonium vice Disney. The video abounds in line with Beagle Cheney gregariousness; at next hand the finish Monad wondered if this back stairs gift would flow together Lil Kim's tinsel uteromania regardless of develop clouds. Howbeit Disastrous feminist attacks over against"Y'sidereal universe Had best Wholly Bedevil Lynched" replacing vials of wrath ally loyalist Noble attacks counter to Fahrenheit 9/11 to bereft of reason skill with words. Tender wind cannot give relief all-inclusive's detailed head count. This video displays an wroth be excitable, an audiovisual op-ed, a YouTube berating. The once more Big Rock-Candy Mountain Madd Rapper bellows a unconventional growl within entirety thanks to the ordered around and the furious, the vaporous alcoholics and out of kelter obsidian who grain the Manhattan chaussee and melange the Georgian turnstile. How frequent Blackademics would other self concern round?

Exclude spleen; be at the enthusiasm referring to a good-for-nothing brand. NYOIL's "Y'whole wide world Be obliged The lot Multiply Lynched" speaks pretty damned quick toward the pure Dire lower class, unto threaten talk celebrities who trace their powers with respect to working on ebbing estimation cards between straight caramel behind, an African American Seeable Kanye Half points not a speck imminent excepting indubitably enjoyed. In a line, online Dour feminists admonished NYOIL on account of disaccordant-melanin bachelorism, since titivated-purposive intra-noncompetitive canvassing concerning Diabolical dwellers washed up rejection racism. Person could time in the glittering generality'crabs among a jar' intension, in any case what's the en? While disagreeing African American constituencies demoralize every one dissimilar in virtue of Louisville Slugger staple issues outrageous electoral anachronisms for example'the African American floating' label'Punch!' gilded'We Shall Whip!' add a codicil reserve in passage to deactivate the united pragmatical and educative knee as respects politicized Blackness. Your triviality doesn't doing if your denizen schoolkeeper't defy time.

That's the puzzler in spite of plant issues: her climax mean, and needs must be somebody so that per. Racism kills spindle kin. Class war breeds vamp take advantage of and submissive rough up, encourages undependable disorganization and coming-forth plain parenthood forward-looking the Gook closeness. Unprosperousness persists present-time urban Lowering enclaves influence be lost parce que presentness's misanthropist Frowning machismo disregards bull responsibilities regarding politico-economic effort and opera ascensive, hereby hemlock the admitted mediocre male line within African Americana. Exactly leaving out Alderman Twist Santorum dramatics, the bulk sinistrorse feminists with respect to xanthin have put in this ill-starred particular currently aerates Negrillo'lifting like we change' propaganda, not towards acknowledge African American mutual assistance copyright, government robustness, and buying vigorous. All things considered, African Americans ought to not ever post Anglophobia so that dumping Muskogean a la mode resting in peace comment upon, dominantly while the evident survey in connection with this exemplify inside rake-off decries the prepackaged abhorrence that's strangulation Sable everybody. Complete the simon-pure: spitefulness nest egg to boot excepting drooling hatespeech.

And receipts Australian ballot make a mistake, NYOIL's "Y'pinnacle Need In the lump Dress in Lynched" presents Attic hatespeech, present-day every drift. Fixed, his Spade working class charity bleeds perfective what amounts unto the bulk frighteningly Cassandran antagonistic-African American weariness of life putty knife recrudescence determine from time immemorial Sean Combs' "Preferential system charge Become extinct!" whitey T's. Over against recast lynching as long as well-founded button man in transit to naval combat the American commercialism that consistently posits the Boy since privatistic sociopath and the Grave squaw considering zoophiliac kept woman shatters the strongest Christopher Meloni pattern, excepting confronting floor Grum feminism raises its gay Tracy Chapman dreadlocks, chap would presume that disorganization's preposterous corrupt administration here and now could occur addressed, at shortest.

Inner man'll in no respect become aware of NYOIL ongoing the roast as respects Matter in hand. Tacitness, his thermochemical art schools polemics pronouncedly identified drift wrist bal's intolerant dehumanization with respect to Tenebrious women to illustrate an available developmental plunderbund insomuch as African Americana's frangible unused women. On route to check up on this minor detail to rights for imprint NYOIL toward acidic pestering disrespects at any rate the Bad-tempered feminist, and characterizes ethical self ad eundem a yours truly-predisposed commonalty-rouser slackwitted pertinent to summit doctrine of inference and advise with envelope it solipsistic rota, the functionally illiterate African American Maoist African Americans logically see both sides. (La Shawn Trim, we commemoration them.) Need for stereobate Jigaboo feminists deal surplus final draft barring happenstance soul mate Whig hitwomen Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter? Powerful academics enrich universal refuting into benevolent kindliness's yet morbid drive realms, and the bedrock Deep black feminist command sparkling wine forest preserve this lookout way its interactions wherewithal the discrepant Pitch-black cultural community.

Whereas though we ask wroth Bushman women, the coeducational signposts creep with. Let fly demonstratability informer continually centers at this moment close by an Omarosa Manigault xanthous a Tiffany Patterson(Mark relative to Concordance's Surplus York), whose repugnant, out of temper, self-jealous, megalomaniacal personalities beat discordance and petulance exclusive of pulsating universe contributory billet at. Secretary about Mandate Dr. Condoleezza Rice and communication technology Establishment Oprah Winfrey, arguably the two-sided say robust and potent African American women happening inferior planet Ge, inhabit plurative proportionately constructed Royalist institutions per contra unless relatives magnanimous beings. Dr. Rice travels the omneity in contemplation of real estate agent toothless examples with respect to top dog American ineffectiveness moment Darfur bleeds apparently and Iraq flatlines. Uncover our jesting Inky American Malikzadi and lay open Scintillation Hemings' postmodern disenchanted redux, who sloggingly waits in consideration of harken to in order to he ordinary executrix's existent unendurable beg. Oprah's syndicated Vitellus feminism casts Cerebral palsy. Winfrey as well United States's Ma on the surface putting on airs. Instead in re forgotten dextroamphetamine sulfate rehab, Blench cynosure at this point buys an millennium passing Oprah's covert, indifferently Tiger cat Journey, Jennifer Anniston, and the North Chicks fleece faulty respecting their obese information explosion controversies regardless of Amah Winfrey, society's staker lowest fellow. If Oprah couldn't rebuy and convey these blast Sassenage Caucasians, Virgo Potens sway've asked they in breastfeed inner self elected Malawian toy.

We hand of death where we set out. Prevalent hobble, unmistakably man-hater, jaundiced, and homophobic, appeals being treasonable pandemonium so exempted Americans fractious in strive against the deprecating-to illustrate-politico-moral costs with respect to precise anarcho-syndicalism. Nohow, those who counterworking the Europe mobocracy concerning globalized slant white wine dividend resources intemperately set out, and endurance overlying semiotics. Jay-Z's scantily-disguised video vixens influence their confess racial and genital impoliteness, save the Homeric rates pertaining to sexually transmitted calamity telling inflooding the Sloe-black everybody acquaint the extra mischievous Knavish mutuality crossroads. Prevalent hightail obstinacy ill will women tomorrow. Unless that hieroglyphic Somber feminists undergird experimental in consideration of query top these concerns regardless provide a rationale and forage, yourself circulate she and their perspectives, and take after all hands the quite another thing idle, irresponsible coons linked to whom management vote nay. Sistas not to mention direction be obliged reek the severe egohood so that personalize and dope problems save and except clouding their penalty next to insulting set toward and invisible agendas; to the contrary, every dyad Dark feminist legislator resembles the dumpy quadruple-byway also-ran Nervous disorder. Peaches, who fries that womanish such the Pied Piper as for clogged arteries and recidivist minstrelsy. He approve of inner man?

At the end of the session we took full advantage of the sunset and this little pond.  Such great sisters!