Take a look at this photograph and study it very carefully. No, I didn't say stare at her sideboob, I said to study the picture. At first glance, you are probably thinking, "Dear God, that girl must have it pretty bad." I want to agree with you. She has no shirt on, and is passed out on a table in someone's backyard with beer bottles strewn all about. The sad thing is that I actually envy her at the moment. How could that be, you ask? Because while she is obviously experiencing a serious hangover, at least she is STILL ASLEEP.

I had the pleasure of being woken up today exactly five hours before I actually had to be up. Who is responsible for this crime against humanity? You, hangover. Now I have been around the drinking block a time or two, so I understand how the whole "hangover" thing works. It's nature's way of preventing me from spending every waking second at the damn bar. But there is nothing more unfair than being WOKEN UP BY YOUR HANGOVER. What the hell have I done to deserve such an awful fate? I know, that plate of nachos I made when I got home last night didn't help things, but this just isn't fair.

I thought we had a deal, alcohol. I enjoy your wonderful libations, and all of the glitz and glamour that go with it, and in return you make me feel a little under the weather after I wake up the next morning. But today, hangover, you have overstepped your boundaries. Despite my best efforts to shut my door, close my blinds, and turn my fan on (i.e. secure the Bat-Cave for optimal sleeping conditions) before I went to bed last night, you still woke me up for no apparent reason before the sun came up today.

Hangover, I want to kill you.

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Sideboob, tushie and for what, tooth decay ? ?

Sideboob, tushie and for what, tooth decay ? ?

Fernanda Souza, 24 anos, não é ficar de mau humor à toa. Ri, sempre, é espirituosa. Topou, neste ensaio, brincar de dona-de-casa sexy, insinuante. Fernanda gosta de provocar, de brincadeira ou não.

Prefere usar roupas coloridas, mas que marquem bem o corpo. A missão dos produtores da revista foi então saborosíssima. Escolher peças com cores fortes e contornos divertidos, mas sinuosos. Fácil adequar ao corpo dela. ernanda aprovou o figurino, e o pouco figurino também. “Vai ficar sensual naturalmente”, riu. “Todas falam isso, né? Mas juro. Não queria forçar nada. Só ficar mais bonitinha que de costume.” Ficou bem mais, claro. “Sério?”, pergunta, antes de dar outra gargalhada, entre uma pose e outra para o fotógrafo Danilo Borges.

FERNANDA ESTÁ FELIZ.Mora hoje em um novo apartamento na Barra da Tijuca, no Rio de Janeiro. Perto da praia, que ela adora. Fernanda está sozinha, sem namorado, marido, caso, ou algo que chegue perto disso. “Gosto de ter as situações sobre controle”, diz. “Nada de loucuras.” Perfeito. Ela parece não ser do tipo “só fico com gente de TV”.

TV mesmo só para trabalhar. Ela diz que é bem workaholic (não tem jeito de louca por trabalho. Deve ser workahoolic light). Faz sucesso no seriado Toma Lá Dá Cá, da Globo. Não reclama quando sobra um tempo para ficar em seu quarto cor maçã verde (imagine!), ler seus livros e curtir o ócio da esticada na frente da televisão. “Tem coisa melhor do que dormir assistindo filmes?”, comenta dando risada, de novo.

Ever cup a water balloon and have a lascivious smile creep across your face? That's the love of the underboob. When getting to second base, initial boobplay is hardly ever a tweaking of the nipple or a motor-boating of the cleavage. Nope it's the caressing of the underboob, the first touches of mountainous exploration. My guess is, these first touches are what give the ladies the chills most. (Quick Girlfriend Check: Yep! She agrees...yet her head is shaking back and forth in what must be...disapproval? Oh well.)

Agree? Disagree? Have more to add? Let me know via your comments. Special thanks to Keeley Hazell for inspiring this post and providing the scientific display below.