I've been thinking about it a lot today, and I know that part of this place is old programming, from the years I thought I was a worthless human being, hopeless at everything and there was no point in trying.

The other part is the creative process at work. We call it 'writer's block', reaching a dead end. I talk to my students about this place too... I tell them... you will go along for awhile, learning, and feeling the changes in you as you learn... and then you will plateau... and it's that place that separates the determined from the not. If you stay on the path, if you fill in the form, if you let yourself be in the same place day after day... if you keep going, something will shift, and you will make it through.

A good example is a runner. Every time they run, they run a 5 min mile. They can't seem to go any faster or cut any time. But they keep running, over and over. And one day, after many more runs... suddenly they realise they've run a 4.5 min mile. And the key is... the only way they would have got there, was to do all the runs before.

So I sit here, listening to yet another playback of the same section of the same score... and I tell myself to trust my inspiration to lead me. Trust my ear to hear what is needed. Trust my heart to know what needs to be expressed, and trust my instincts to choose the instruments to express it.

I saw one of my friends today and she asked how I was doing on the 'write 1,000 songs in 2 days challenge' ha ha. Since she asked, I'm on song #30 of the 50 songs in 90 days challenge. She said, 'I don't know how you do it, I write a song a year.' And I thought about that, and my answer is... I do it by... allowing myself to write whatever comes to mind, however silly, or bad, or convoluted or misshapen. And I write every day. That's the secret. Write every day. Not a hit song, not an award winning musical... just simply write something every day.

The experience of writing, like the runner running, will make a difference to your skill level and ability in the future. Pushing through the malaise & doubt is a kind of 'honing' of your creativity. Without doubt, there is no struggle. Without struggle, there is no change.

To me, rising to the challenge isn't that moment of stardom when Rocky won the big fight... it's every morning when he got up, drank raw eggs, and ran through the city. Sweat. Tears. Sweat again. That's the foundation of success.

~

I'm more of a park it, park it and read kind of gal.  Always have been.  But working up a sweat on the treadmill is essential for me to be healthy emotionally.  Not sure exactly what it is...endorphins and such, but I feel like I can take on the world when I have exercised. ( At the very least, those six loads of laundry threatening to break down the walls of my laundry room. ) My self confidence rises to the level of Super Model and hovers around The Queen of Sheba the rest of the day.  Yeah, good stuff, that exercise. 

But man it is a chore!  And I dread getting started like the plague, or a prostate exam, if I had a prostate gland.  Normally, I just get up and get on the treadmill.  Get it over with.  Then go sit with GOD until the kids get up.  Today, though, I just keep putting it off.  Even though I need to go do it already! 

So help me out here, there has to be some better ways to motivate yourself to exercise than nagging... How do you all do it?  I am open to any and all suggestions!

i think about it and realise i have made similar remarks complaints in the past. most recently, i complained about the lack of free time for myself, so that i could catch up on my reading for personal growth.

then i ponder on these and discover that i don't have a boring life. that would be an over-statement. i'd say it is full of challenges. at least that's how i look at it. there is a myriad of solutions to tackle life's challenges. it is up to our creativity and readiness to face them head on.

my greatest challenge would be time. in a week, i have 2 days to myself but these 2 days don't seem to be enough to do the things i want to do. so i must learn to steal some time from my other activities during the 2-day rest. at least now i've learnt to appreciate my rest days by spending time at home, rather than the office. i used to flout my personal time a lot.

yesterday a friend sms-ed me for an opinion on her current job status. i gave her this "Jesus says don't worry about tomorrow :)" a few moments after sending that text, a flashback happened - last week while i was alone i heard this phrase - APPRECIATE LIFE. it was such a soothing and calm voice that said it. i had been worrying about a lot of things, esp. unfinished works i've started. these works are not necessarily work-related, btw. i have decided not to blog abt work here :)

last night i chatted with my cousin about one of life's challenges. i love chatting with her - she's all ears, all mouth haha.. we updated each other and discussed abt current issues and tackling the difficult ones.

life is a challenge indeed. right now, my mind is like a messy unwound yarn ball. winding it into a perfect ball takes time, courage & strength. if your life/mind is similar to mine, be sure to find the right strength.

God bless.

And then I thought, this world needs to have a few cages rattled and so I am once again standing on my soap box! So watch out!

I was talking to a friend of mine on Friday and we were discussing the plight of mutual friend. Now this friend has been down on his luck for quite sometime.  Always working hard towards the direction of finding that "big pay day", but never being humble enough to recognize another path.

Anyway, my friend was on his way home one night very early in the morning when on the freeway a tire blew leading him to do some damage to his only car working.  With no money to buy a new tire, no money to fix his other car, he is in a bit of a bind.

The first thing out of his mouth once he got home is how much "God hates me.  He never lets things go my way, I'm never going back to church!"

Okay so here is my soap box!  Regardless if you are religious or not, where are you placing the blame for the things that happen your life?  Where is the self-responsibility in this nation! We have become a people of blamers, accusationers, and we absolutely take no responsibility for where we are right now!

Now in the case of my friend, never mind that "God" just might have saved his butt by not crashing.  Never mind that he has been chasing the same "dream job" for four years now still penniless never once thinking maybe I should move on, never mind that other job opportunities have come his way (they are all below him), and certainly never mind that "Faith must proceed the blessing" and pride is the fall of all men!  It is ALL someone else's fault!

America we must wake up and smell the coffee!  No one ever got anywhere blaming others.  In fact, some of the greatest stories are of those born in dire circumstances who have risen up and become great athletes, teachers, business men, etc.  What fabulous stories!  Remember Will Smith in "The Pursuit Of Happyness?"  The man he portrayed could have easily given up and stayed on the streets blaming others for his misfortune.  BUT HE DIDN'T!  He took responsibility, never complaining or blaming, and worked his butt off! 

We have got to take responsibilty for where our feet are planted each and everyday!  The words "I chose this, I did this, I understand" have got to be the language we use when we are considering the next steps of our lives.

Lack of responsibility ends with failed marriages, fatherless children, job loss, disease, and oh so much more!  Could you just for a moment imagine a world where everyone took responsibility?  What a fabulous place that would be! 

The greatest thing we can be teaching the younger generation is self-responsibility and what a blessing it actually is.  In our country we are blessed to be able to do whatever we feel is right for our lives.  We have freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom to take up whatever stand we feel is right.  We have so much! With that comes responsibility of how we use those rights.  Unfortunately our prisons are filled, our divorce rate is high, our schools are suffering because of the abuse of those rights.

Let's be examples of the good things that come about because we take responsibility!  Let's admit when we are wrong Let's correct our course when we stray. Let's lead others to do the same! And by all means let's be responsibile for the things we say and do!

I now step down........for the moment.....

heather browning

Think big and be creative - The bigger the idea or goal, the better it will be once you finish.

Define your goals - Identify what is important and what can be put off or what is useless.

Focus - Now you have identified what actually NEEDS to get done, focus on those items only.

Think of the benefits - Never think of negative situations, if they happen, deal with them as they come. Think of the good things you will have once you complete your goal.

Persevere - If you give up when it gets tough, it means you just spent a lot of time effectively doing nothing. If something is hard it means it is worth doing, but that does not mean you have to work hard, be creative, think of ways to make it easier.

Have fun - If you are not having fun while accomplishing your goal, you are doing something wrong. Whether your are shopping for groceries or saving for a trip, a positive attitude will always pay off.

Set deadlines - Setting a deadline makes you focus on something even more. Knowing that after a certain date you cannot accomplish your goal can motivate you to accomplish your goal sooner than you thought. Set them to where you think you can get them done, then move them up a bit so you must get them done sooner. This allows you to forget all the little details and finish what really needs to get done, and you finish before you needed to.

Just do it - Plain and simple, don't make excuses, don't over plan, don't avoid, just do it.

Self-motivated endeavour has infinite power, to drive strong will to success and fulfillment only if we possess the power. Having a supercharged turbo sport is no guaranteed to excel; conversely, we doomed to fail if speed is over accelerated without restrain at the pinnacle, as called " lose of control" . My argument is therefore: the overcharged strong will could derived our ability from feeling satisfied or happy.

Yes, being happy is neither an emotion, nor mental condition but an ability. No one is entitled to it just like having intact body part; regardless of gender, social economic background, appearance, body image academic performance etc. The ultimate ingredient for depression is not illness and poverty, but an inability to justify self-satisfaction. The way how some of us allow our value to be labeled against standards that are ever higher to achieve.

"If you've forgotten where you have been, you obviously wouldn't know where you are going". In cases like some among us tend to be reluctant to acknowledge our foregone achievements; instead, we gripping on the desirable destination, in terms of " how to get there, how long does it take us there, or why are we not there yet."

For instant, a frustrated manager wondering why he's unable to influence his subordinates' input the way he expects. There could be millions of lingering factors, eg. work design, economic climate etc; however, we would like to limit our discuss more inclined to a motivational approach. I'd say he has a lack of understanding about them, just like you don't fully understand yourself well enough. Sometimes we to over focus on particular traits, could be either positive and negative depends on the various situation and personalities.

We offer favours to people who we project to appreciate our action. I don't feel like I can ever pleased my dad in despite of my best endeadours, every time when I rang him to say hello, he complaints that I don't call him enough, rather than be gland that I rang. So I subconsciously avoid ringing him , as I feel pressured to do so.

Applying in the situation in which our mind(e.g. the way we think) dominates our action and feeling, the danger occurs when we fails to acknowledge our achievements, but constantly urge ourselves to strive. That explains how some people get caught up in vicious cycle :" harder endeadour rewards no success but failure". One's unconscious mind simply lost the motivation to strive for better outcome even without one's realization.

Alternatively, our self-esteem damages throughout a series of suppressed frustration, not hard to imagine some of us are more likely to response such sensation; in the long run, we lost our faith in us, our believe in our ability; again, such logic process functions in our unconscious mind, we may not always realize our mind may have possibly expelled enthusiasm in order to avoid forthcoming failure.

Scary like it sounds, I went the way hard to come up with the above realization as I am now truly strung by the "curse of failure"- too strong to give in, too frail to give more. ( Continued in "curse of failure"- too strong to give in, too frail to give more.

" Things can't be any worse, just hold on to your faith, fight for it and do the best you can, I'm sure the situation will be better sooner than you think." Comforting remarks are the blind stick to rely on walking through the dark.

The fact is things can always be worse. Excuse my ridicule, but do you know when you are really stuck? It is when you are accommodating and somewhat ease with the undesirable condition if you only know. Although it is repulsive to admit : people that stuck tend unconsciously lie to themselves and the others, claimed " It's life, there's nothing you can do about it". Not a reference to daily frustrating trivial, but to lived like a corpse, a dysfunctional being armed against virtus and retreated into the "windows safe mode". But you're reluctant to restore the system because there's no healthy state on the record.

Overt harsh indeed. Perhaps, I shouldn't voice over my personal frustration in such a "condemning" tone. Perhaps, I'm thwarted at the feeble myself. Perhaps, the way I'm being driven into a vicious cycle of aggravation as a result of a perpetual self-disapproval nature. (Continued in article " If you don't know where you've been, you don't know where you're going" ...)