We were insperable. Nothing could come between us. Not the thinnest of paper; not the lightest of air.

At the height of our friendship, we posted 'testimonials' to each other on our websites, if you will. Read the following and you'll see from our celebrated writings for each other that we had so much love for each other; we were true soul sisters; we were shimmer sisters which is the closest kind of sister-friend that a girl can ever have.

Her to Me: Posted 01/20/2006 3:58 pm ~ With luff in our hearts and Zeppelin in our ears... M and I are the CRAZIEST girls at times- to the point where we have enough material to put together a book. (keep your eyes peeled for it!) We live in a madhouse/zoo. just kidding- it's a cute coach house with lots of christmas lights and two wild animals who love to get up at 6:30 AM. which is fine on the weekends (wake and bake!) Even though M and I have been friends for a long time, we are still learning things about eachother... for instance- M loves her new car (even though we miss the blazed mobile) if she can't find something in her room, chances are it's in the car (some things never change). Our house is PACKED ; ) with chocolate and various kinds of milk, but there's never anything to eat no matter how many times you look in the fridge (Unless we are baking for 100). And don't look so surprised if you see a dance party on the sofa- it happens all the time : ) I LOVE YOU LADY!!!! You're the Best roomate ever!!!
~Duke

Me to Her:  Posted 01/3/2006 12:15 pm ~ Ok. I love my Duke. She's the bestest Lady ever. She likes turkey sandwiches from Potbellys with lettuce, no tomato or mayo. I get mine with mayo and tomato, no lettuce. And she always gets a double cheeseburger, medium fries and medium rootbeer from McD's. We're lovin' it. We also love to bake together, meaning cookies in the oven or getting ourselves baked on the couch.
Over the Hills and Far Away, I met you. At 'the Academy'. Shimmer Sisters forever. We at meatloaf with Daddy and it was delicious. The pocket friend at AE in the parking lot and my Craig almost caught us. Remember when John Bonham's arms almost fell off at the Zeppelin concert? Gosh, the Zeppelin concert - we sure had fun at that! :) We have so much more fun when we're at home than when we're at work. Haha. J is my partner in crime. Someday we're going to rule the world. And sit in bathtubs full of loose diamonds. And get our hair done at Aveda ALL THE TIME. And our nails will always be painted. And I'll drive J around in my pimped out Blazer and we'll listen to Zeppelin and get real high with all the windows down. I love you Duke! See you at home. In our bathtub filled with diamonds. Happy 2006!

How are those girls not friends anymore? How can the world be so cruel?

*sigh* Oh, my lady...

One of the residents walked in and their cell phone started ringing. And instant internal scream erupted. This guy had the same polyphonic, shrill, all-around horrible ringtone that my old roommate had. It's not that I didn't like her, but this girl had a serious problem waking up. You think I'm bad? At least when I'm oversleeping, I'm not really bothering anybody else. This girl was like The Dead when she went to dreamland. She would leave her phone on her desk (which is closer to my bed) and set an alarm for ungodly hours (anything before 8AM is ungodly) and then it would RINGRINGRING until it got tired and then 10 minutes later it would RINGRINGRING. And THEN her alarm clock would start chiming in as well. I shared a room with the night nazi (absolutely no music/talking while she was studying/sleeping) and let-my-alarm-ring-for-an-hour-and-a-half girl. At least they were pretty good people.

Speaking of memory catalysts, the other day, a maintanence man walked past me and I immediately thought of lollipops. Something about the way he smelled reminded me of lollipops. This doesn't really make any sense since he smelled like cigarettes, albeit in a good way. Weird.

I go to brush my teeth and whatnot and come back, and hes switched chairs..

For fucks sake, at least sleep on the couch if you are being rebellious towards your bed.

Ha. It's just funny that he enjoys sleeping upright. weirdo. ; )

-r

Some of my friends make fun of me for placing too much emotional attachment on places and things. Especially music. I relate specific songs or albums to just about everyone.

It all started when first huge crush in 6th grade ruined the song 'Back at One' by Brian McKnight which we slowed danced to (not that I listen to that song often, but when I hear it randomly, I think of him). Wes ruined the songs 'Yesterday' and 'Drive My Car' by The Beatles. Mike ruined anything by Sublime (especially the acoustic version of 'What I Got') and because of James Bradley I can't listen to OK Go's first album.  Another Mike destroyed Alkaline Trio for me. 'Chemistry of a Car Crash' by Shiny Toy Guns or 'The Scientist' by Coldplay remind me of Shawn.

Those are just some examples. If I really made a list you would get bored,

Anyway, in most of those cases, it's not really ruined. I can still listen to the songs but they remind me of them, some good memories, some bad. Either way, once a certain amount of time has passed it doesn't matter. You still think of the person associated with the song, but the memories, whether good or bad, are a nice reminder of a different time in your life.

BUT as I was listening to The Cure and looking for another song to play I realized that most of my music has been ruined by one person. it is too soon to listen to any of it. Give Up The Ghost, Jimmy Eat World, Bright Eyes (ESPECIALLY 'First Day of My Life'), Saves the Day, Jawbreaker, Elliot Smith, Rainer Maria (Catastrophe Keeps Us Together), Blink-182 (I think I'll never be able to listen to Roller coaster again) and even Morrissey I can't go near.

I started freaking out to Tim and just replied, "Listen to Motley Crue OR Slayer. I'll burn you a CD."

(Maybe I am too emotional?)

Everyone keeps telling me that time will heal all wounds, but right now I just want my itunes back.

(Currently listening to 'Miss Machine' by The Dillinger Escape Plan)

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My stepmother is currently in a custody battle with the caretaker of my youngest, special needs brother.

I was supposed to care for him this summer. I forget if I mentioned this.

Sorry for the sparse details. It is late after all. Someday, the interesting manner in which I gained four family members in a day will be told. Until then, the above facts will have to suffice.

I move in mere weeks. It is both exciting and frighteneing.

Garth from "Waynes World" said it best, "we fear change." I will miss my roommates and the luxury dorm vibe that we created together. It was truly unique. There will be no more Worms Armageddon, Four-square, or failed attempts at potlucks. No more marathons of stupid television shows that I hate and no more congregating in the kitchen to hate on whoever is not there at the moment. On the other hand, I am awfully sick of broken air conditioning units flooding the house, sleeping in a bed inches away from a ceiling fan and constantly being confronted with moldy/dirty/rotting messes that five people living in the same area manage to create.

I am excited to come back early. It may turn into my girlfriend visiting for a day and will definitely mean the reuniting of my bands.

<Below is an article on Talia's accident that is from http://www.kswo.com/Global/story.asp?S=8704182 >

One killed in Kay county collision

this means come beginning of September I will have a new roommate. This time I predict it to be a better go around. and she has only to commit three months to finish out this lease. And if all goes well in the trial period I think we will continue to be roommates and move into Fort Worth somewhere. Which frankly I'm ecstatic for a new change. That is the update on that.

I am checking out new churches in the Fort Worth area. I do not any longer feel called to be at my current church and will go and seek and see what God has to show me through this. If all is fails I can just be in worship with him without any commitments to do weekly (at least not right away). I hope to be called to attend somewhere and serve but know that it is widely important I have a support group. A group of people my age who relate and go through the same things I do.  At least that is the hope this next year I looks to be hopeful. It is all I can ask for, I am ready for a positive turn in life and have good things happen in my life. Not to downsize the good that has come in my life. But I am ready to have the good outweigh the bad for awhile.

I woke up and did what I always do, I wrote a bit, sucked some coffee and started cleaning up. I have a date coming over tonight and I was so pleased that we would be able to be alone. I was dreading watching a movie with him while worrying whether or not someone would pop into the living room and catch us making out or even just cuddled up.

My roommate and her boyfriend cooked a huge meal last night and when I got up, their filthy dishes were in the sink. I didn't have time to wait for her to do them so I did because I AM having company tonight.

My girlfriend called and while we were chatting, I heard someone using the bathroom. I walked into the hallway and saw my roommates' boyfriend. I asked him if Sarah (not her real name) had woken up yet and he said, "She's in New York."

My jaw dropped and I asked, "What are you doing here?"

His answer was something about being tired and needing to come by and grab some sleep. I told him that he needed to leave and he said that he would get some things together. I said that was OK, that I wasn't tossing him out on his ear. Then, I went back to speaking on the phone.

I spoke for quite a while when I began to realize that he wasn't going anywhere. I think he was waiting for me to get off the phone and I was staying on the phone so that I didn't have to bother talking to him as he left. I dropped a couple of hints by telling my girlfriend that I had to leave for the store by 2. That gave him a time to be out of here. He stayed in the girl's bedroom and at 1:40, I said through the door, "I'm leaving in 20 minutes and I'm waiting for you to leave so that I can go."

He came out and said that he had things to do for my roommate. I said, "She's not here, I have company coming and I need to fix dinner and shower after I clean up." He started to say that he needed to do something and I finally said, "Listen, it's inappropriate for you to be here and I don't appreciate being put in a situation in which I need to act like this." Then, I took a Xanax and went in my room. I waited for him to fill her car up...with what I do not know. Then, when he left, I came back out and locked the door.

I just don't know what's wrong with people. I wouldn't have been here in the first place were I him. If I was here, it wouldn't take more than a slight hint to get me to leave. I basically had to go one step away from threatening to call the cops. I am not a happy camper right now.

I woke up and did what I always do, I wrote a bit, sucked some coffee and started cleaning up. I have a date coming over tonight and I was so pleased that we would be able to be alone. I was dreading watching a movie with him while worrying whether or not someone would pop into the living room and catch us making out or even just cuddled up.

My roommate and her boyfriend cooked a huge meal last night and when I got up, their filthy dishes were in the sink. I didn't have time to wait for her to do them so I did because I AM having company tonight.

My girlfriend called and while we were chatting, I heard someone using the bathroom. I walked into the hallway and saw my roommates' boyfriend. I asked him if Sarah (not her real name) had woken up yet and he said, "She's in New York."

My jaw dropped and I asked, "What are you doing here?"

His answer was something about being tired and needing to come by and grab some sleep. I told him that he needed to leave and he said that he would get some things together. I said that was OK, that I wasn't tossing him out on his ear. Then, I went back to speaking on the phone.

I spoke for quite a while when I began to realize that he wasn't going anywhere. I think he was waiting for me to get off the phone and I was staying on the phone so that I didn't have to bother talking to him as he left. I dropped a couple of hints by telling my girlfriend that I had to leave for the store by 2. That gave him a time to be out of here. He stayed in the girl's bedroom and at 1:40, I said through the door, "I'm leaving in 20 minutes and I'm waiting for you to leave so that I can go."

He came out and said that he had things to do for my roommate. I said, "She's not here, I have company coming and I need to fix dinner and shower after I clean up." He started to say that he needed to do something and I finally said, "Listen, it's inappropriate for you to be here and I don't appreciate being put in a situation in which I need to act like this." Then, I took a Xanax and went in my room. I waited for him to fill her car up...with what I do not know. Then, when he left, I came back out and locked the door.

I just don't know what's wrong with people. I wouldn't have been here in the first place were I him. If I was here, it wouldn't take more than a slight hint to get me to leave. I basically had to go one step away from threatening to call the cops. I am not a happy camper right now.

I don't really have anything interesting to say, so I figured I would send you some pictures from the last couple of days. Yesterday I woke up and watched my roommate, Bionic Dave, play Rock Band on XBox Live for thirty minutes and then forced him to bring me to La Potosina, the little tienda by our house.  I LOVELOVELOVE Potosina.   I once went there and got corn tortillas,  seven different vegetables, an assortment of very weird Mexican candy, a pack of cigarettes, two religious-themed candles with the Death Angel on them (no lie), a can of coffee, three flan cups, dry horchata mix, two rice popsicles and a box of foreign Cheerios for $19 with tax.  So we went over there and look what we found on the counter:

I am a master at taking covert cell phone pics.

After that, I went to work at Carrburritos and my mom joined me for my whole shift.  She sucked down several margaritas in record time and offered little verbal gems to my coworkers such as, "DO NOT knock up your GIRLFRIENDS.  Tell them to give you BLOW JOBS INSTEAD," and "HELLO THIS MARGARITA IS SO GOOD CAN ANY OF YOU PRONOUNCE CHIPOTLE PROPERLY?"  But the best was when she waited until I was aaalllll the way over by the handsink, at which point she decided it'd be a great time to yell out, "HEY AMANDA ARE YOU AND LACKEY HAVING SEX WITH EACH OTHER?  HE IS SO CUTE!!"  Now, ordinarily this wouldn't be a big deal, because I am used to my mom asking me things like this, and she doesn't drink all that much and the guys at work already love her and expect ridiculous shit from her, but the problem is that Lackey works at Carrburritos, so this question of hers started the rumor mill going in full force.  I had to fend off several interrogations from the line cooks while my mom busied herself reading Que Pasa?, a Mexican newspaper, with Pedro the Dishwasher.  She is learning Spanish right now so every time she comes to see me at work she utilizes the wisdom of the ESL guys in the back.

After that wonderful incident, we went home and dressed my dog in a wig.  She was unhappy about this.

And now I am taking a break from trashing all of our third roommate Lance's shit.  He decided he was going to move out without telling us, but he left ALL his belongings behind and they've been in his room for a month.  His room has turned into a free storage space.  Bionic Dave and I caught him at Caribou Coffee the other day and told him he owed us rent or we were selling all his shit.  Of course he refused to pay (he used to try to pay in weed, but that didn't go over well with us), and he said he didn't care what we did with his stuff.

Okaaayy.

So we're having a garage sale on Saturday.  He left behind furniture, computer accessories, two DVD players, CDs, books, tapes, heaps of surround sound equipment, clothes, and a metric ton of drug paraphernalia.  Everything else, we're throwing away with abandon.  It's sort of fun, trashing someone else's life with their permission.  We found a whole notebook full of "raps" he wrote, and several "notes to self," addressed to "Self."  These will be posted in future blogs, don't worry.

In closing, I'd like to offer you a piece of my childhood that I found while cleaning my room.  I was inspired by a recent X-Entertainment post.  Apparently my dad was sick one day and I felt it necessary to write him an encouraging letter complete with disclaimer:

I was such a sweet four-year-old.

Hope you're having a good day.  Drink a beer for me, please, and send me a pic like you are wont to do.  We are beer-less here, and no one has a car, or money, or motivation.  But we have a lot of work left to do.  We haven't even tackled Lance's closet yet.

Love in the name of PBR and Cunters,

Mandey.

That note was left on our Ford Taurus this morning.  What I find amusing about this note is that our car was parked well within the lines.  Not only that, but we park against a wall, so if we were parked any further away, the driver would not be able to get out of the car.

I guess we should have been more considerate and parked the car so it was propped against the wall.  We're so ignorant of the feelings of others.

At least they said it with a smile, as well as underlining the main points.  That's consideration!

I am convinced some people just enjoy being pissed off about something.  That feeling of righteousness.  That need to triumph over subordinates... it can be heady stimulation.  I don't even think the subject matter is important as long as those people are RIGHT!  Like those hippies who carry on about the Earth and Going Green (both noble pursuits), but they seem to be getting more pleasure hounding you about, oh, I don't know, not reusing zip lock bags.

It reminded me of the days of living with roommates.  Being lectured via puffy pink ink by a 17 year old about how I should realize I live with "other fucking people!!!" and not move an appliance on the counter without asking.  As a note, it was moved so I could reach an outlet for a blender I bought for the both of us.

God, I'm such an asshole.

What's even better is how no matter how many f-bombs are dropped in a note, invariably the note is signed with a smile.  It's even more ridiculous when it's written by a girl.  Cuss words and smileys written in purple and pink inks.  They all seem to have the same handwriting, too.  The kind of writing that makes you think of those notes you passed in school that asked you to check yes or no.

It's a sad fact, though.  People love being right and they love being obnoxious about it.  Some people do this by incessantly correcting grammar.  Others have notes.

These are probably the same folks who help an old lady across the street so they can tell everyone all day about their good deed and how awesome they are.

They should put that in a note. It'll last longer.

One Day I will Have a Boy to Walk Me Down to Watch the Fireworks.

Now don't get me wrong, I have seen them plenty of times on my own, but how cute would that be?

So tonight, at 9:52 when the fireworks began, I shared my thoughts with my roomie.

Her response: We are going to have to get a longer lease.

My first roommate started out sane enough but that was before I really knew her. She became very hard to live with and I was always terrified that she would freak out at me. We lived with two other girls. One was a sweetheart and the other never did dishes and played a lot of video games. Rock Band is the worst invention ever.

I moved out because I was starting to go crazy. I avoided the room as much as possible.

From there I moved into a similar apartment with 5 other girls. None of which I knew well but at the time I just needed to get out of sharing a room with someone who kept a butter knife under her pillow. These girls were all chill, but they would get annoyed at ridiculous things. My actual roommate was a hippie who smoked endless amounts of weed and was constantly dressed in tye dye. She was always at random activism meetings. Our room was covered in Bob Marley posters. One girl talked way too much and always had her weird, trying to be hipster boyfriend over. She roomed with a really nice girl that was always off to the gym. One of the girls slept all day and watched hockey games with the volume as high as possible. He roommate was just incredibly awkward.

I only lived with those girls for a few months and luckily had some good friends living down the hall. So I was in their apartment a lot.

Finally I am satisfied with my living situation. I live with a guy. I know, some might say that it is a horrible idea, but I love it.

Tim is the most chill person I know (except when he is really into Call of Duty). Sometimes he makes me dinner and he never takes too long in the bathroom. He doesn't mind watching Sex & the City and will not only listen to me complain about life but also give me advice. The only thing we have ever fought about is music. He hates anything that is indie. BUT besides that, he is the best roommate I've ever had.

So, a few of the people in my life are so talented. They are all doing big things. Jordan shot at Warped Tour, Jonah is opening for coldplay AND one of my really good friends is going on his second audition for The Sleeping tomorrow.

I feel mediocre.

(Currently listening to 'London Calling' by The Clash)

But today, other then being unbearably exhausted I feel a little more social and wanted to take the opportunity to catch up. In other words, this most likely will be a long post, so you might wanna grab a snack.

I went on my first Post-C date Friday night. We'll call him Frank because the only personable characteristics he has is 1. he wishes he was Frank Sinatra and 2. he's a Gamer. I don't think I can ever nickname someone I went on a date with a Gamer... so he is forever Frank. He's a nice enough guy I guess. Friendly, and approachable, and genuine. When I met him on the fourth he was sweet and complimenting and kind of charming and a clean cut, boy band sort of way.  There is just something lack luster about him though. I can't really put my finger on it, I guess it's just a gut feeling sort of thing. And maybe I am keeping myself shut off because it really was too soon to go on a date. I must admit it was pretty funny that a 25 year old man got carded for a rated R movie, but that was the high light of the entire night. Well, that and James Mcavoy. Look at that man... makes you want to lick your computer screen doesn't it. It's ok, no ones looking... and I won't tell ;). And trust me... I will not hold it against you either.

But anyway, back to my lame date. There is something that turns me off about a guy who isn't confident enough to just make a move on his own. I think this is rooted in the fact that I was 18 years old before a man even kissed me without asking, let alone anything else. There's something to be said about a man who isn't afraid to be shot down when he tries to kiss you or hold you hand. I personally like guys like that because it's a quality I don't possess that I wish I did. Frank, poor Frank did the whole, slide his pinky next to my index finger oh, maybe forty minutes into the movie. Twenty minutes after that he had successfully slid his hand to where it was partially on top of mine. Another twenty minutes pass and he finally nudges my hand to turn towards his. At this point I wanted to scream at the boy "there are ten minutes left in the movie, just grow some balls and hold my hand if thats what you are trying to do!"

Kind of harsh of me isn't it?

After the movie, when we are walking awkwardly out to my car he hugs me quickly and then doing the classic gun shot, bang pose with his fingers says "hope I can call you later."

::Blinks blindly::

Did he really just do the gunshot, call you later thingy. Seriously. Needless to say, the date that began lame ended lamely. Maybe it's my fault for going on the date with him when I knew I wasn't interested but damn it, I have to start somewhere and I wanted to give him a shot to change my mind. I wonder if I really gave him the shot or not.

This whole thing is getting unbearably hard. I talk to this guy, and flirt with that guy but when someone actually tries to kiss me I freeze like a squirl in a tree. I'm trying  but me trying is making me want to run to C and beg him to love me like I know he can. I've done so well with not speaking to him or thinking about him and Sunday morning while everyone slept soundly due to an alcohol induced comma I set in the hallway on my computer staring at his screen-name.

Something witty, something light and comical. Say something perfect, I told myself over and over again. Something to remind him.

I couldn't think of anything. I settled on "I miss you, come home."

We chatted for awhile. I told him about work stress, and money issues, and life in my new apartment. He talked about projects, being eased in at work by his new bosses, explained how it all works, and how lonely he was. I rushed off, telling him I missed him and to call me later because I desperately wanted to just talk to him for awhile.

Later that night I set in the living-room with Hot=roommate fighting back tears. "You'll meet someone else" she said in her most comforting tone.

I've met plenty of fish. Frank with his gunshot finger and baby face. Dylan with his intoxicating eyes and lips and a desire to devour me like Levy. And there are more... but they're not right.

Nothings right.

Thank you thank you thank you for all your support again,  so many of you have given me so much in the ways that you all could, and I am eternally grateful.

But that doesn't make up for the lack of COUNTDOWNS. So....

RETURNS!

So  lets quick catch up, I am temping and I hate it, but I knew I would when I started.  So I sally forth.

Things are slowly coming together for me on the homefront, as I catch up after 8 months of touring.   I am looknig into the possiblity of getting a roommate,  now since I have a 1 bedroom, that means I may need to move, unless I become very close to a single female anytime soon (no don't have one in particular in mind). That being said, I have shared my place short term with friends before,  folks who needed a place to stay while they were in town for a week a month ever a couple of days, and I will continue that offer as long as folks need it.  (think of it as staying at Dave's Bronx B&B)

I know many of you have expressed concern about my mother.  She is still in chemo, but responding as well as we could have hoped.  Her spirits are strong, and positive, and she is looking forward to the family vacation she had planned before she became ill, in August, when she will go with my sisters and their families to Myrtle Beach, SC for a week.

GEEKSVILLE -  its coming back don't you worry, I have 2 reviews sitting on my desk that need proofing,  A comic and that second half of the Doctor Who finale.

LOST LOVE -  Well I said in the last one, I think I am done with that now,  I have been looking to my past to figure out what I had been doing wrong there, and It has served me well -  I do have a new series planned to follow up on it.  I think if you like to read the MISSED CONNECTIONS on craigslist.org  yo may like this. LOL

JOB HUNT -  That is the next project,  I am temping yes, I have no intentions of staying in the place forever tho, so expect to hear about what it takes to re-invent yourself in today's job market.

Ok  much peace to you all -

The Countdown continues.....

In a similar vein, some of the inter-roommate notes over at www.passiveaggressivenotes.com will make you feel a lot better about your own roommates' vicissitudes!

One day I came online and my toolbar was gone. I know that you can hide it and use it when you move the mouse over it…but I want my damned toolbar. I asked the person not to change any settings when he used my computer and I consider that a setting. When I said, “By the way, don’t hide my toolbar anymore.” He went into a long tutorial about how to use the amazing disappearing toolbar. I let him go on for about 5 minutes and then I said, “Please don’t hide my toolbar anymore.” So then he started his pitch again. I looked at his girlfriend and she got it, but he just kept on talking. I let him do it. Then, I looked at him and said, “Please don’t hide my toolbar anymore.”

It took his girlfriend dragging him away to get him to shut up.

I asked them both not to use the sink in the bathroom until I could put some Drain-O down the drain. Then I went to buy the Drain-O. When I got back, the sink was backed up again because, “All you have to do is take these pipes out and see what the blockage is. If you have a monkey wrench, I can fix it.”

Well, there was a plumber here earlier this year who did over 5 grand worth of work and he fixed everything but that slow draining sink. He came back 4 times to fix that sink. He snaked it, put acid down it and they replaced the pipes. The only thing that I can do is pour some Drain-O down there once a month or so. And, I don’t have a monkey wrench. I was not in the mood to explain all of this so I said, “Trust me, I’ve lived here for years. I know this sink. It is an asshole. And, I don’t have a monkey wrench so let’s just do it my way. When I say don’t use the sink, please…just don’t use the sink.”

“Oh! I didn’t know you didn’t have a monkey wrench when I used the sink!”

If I’m not wrong, his using the sink was now my fault because I didn’t have a monkey wrench.

Some of you might remember that hundred dollar trash can that my father bought me. It has a plastic liner that I pull out to change bags. On the bottom of that thing is a Glade air freshener thingie. It doesn’t ever get dirty because I don’t use it without bags. I told him not to use the trash can because I ran out of garbage cans. When I brought them home from the store, the plastic liner was full of trash so I had to wash it out before I could use it. I HATE touching trash, especially if it isn’t my trash. But I had to touch it to get it out and wash the liner. Then, I had to wash my air freshener thingie.

When I mentioned it, he said, “I saw that it had a liner. You don’t even NEED trash bags.”

The worst part of this all is that he is armed, I am not. He’s such a nice guy but he hasn’t quite learned how to say, “OK, sure thing.” and mean it. He spends a lot of time over here and I really don’t mind. But, I don’t want to change anything. I resist change. After all, I’m a member of AARP now.

It never stops. I was outside pulling weeds with a steak knife when he came out and told me all about the proper tools for the job. Then he asked me to drive him to Home Depot to buy the right tools. If I had the money to buy tools, I would buy them. I know all about the existence of Home Depot. He wasted a half an hour trying to describe the proper tools. He even told me that I could rent a tiller, till up the entire yard and that way I could straighten it out where it goes uphill.

I was minding my own business, sitting in my grass, following clover to the roots and cutting it out with my trusty steak knife. He had me flattening the yard by myself at the wheel of a rented tractor. Greeeeeen acres is the place for me…time wasting is a bitch to me. I gave up and went back in the house.

I can’t turn my TV on with my remote because however he turns off my TV, he does it so that the ALL button does too many wrong things. So, I have to stand there and turn things off and on like a door with every other lock locked.

You know, my cyber stalker dude isn’t as much of a hassle than is this yahoo. The insane guy is only online. When I’m living my life I don’t even think of him. But…this guy is all around.

This morning when I signed on, he was gone but his antics lingered on. It was 7:30 when I first came to the computer. My sister called me for a ride but that only took 20 minutes. It’s now 9:43 and this post is all that I have accomplished since 7:30 because I spent so much time trying to undo whatever he did.

Writing this post has gotten the irritation out of me but I fear that only means that he will be coming back soon. I think I’m going to start sticking stick-it notes all over my house and they will all say the same thing…DO NOT TOUCH THIS.