I can't sit here and tell you that I am a huge College Football fan. That would be a huge lie.

I don't hate college football, but, I feel like it is something that you sort of have to have a family that watches it to grow up watching it (no one in my family ever graduated college/the state colleges in my state that people's parents did go to? Well, they don't exactly play D1 high quality football). These facts combined with the fact that I did not attend a state college or one with an illustrious history in football (D3 all around, no football team. Only like 400 males on campus at the time. You try fielding even a D3-caliber football team with 400 males, the athletic of which play other sports already. Good luck).

So college football and I just never saw eye to eye.

Which isn't to say that I don't enjoy it when I watch it.

Hell, I was there when Boise State  beat Oklahoma. By "there" I mean on my couch. It was one of the most exciting football games I've ever seen.

I was there when Ohio State got its guts ripped out and handed to it repeatedly ("there" meaning on my couch).

I can appreciate a great college game.

And what did I get last night?

Let's just say I'm going to pay a little closer attention to UCLA this season (if possible).

Here are the two major issues I have with college football:

1) no playoff system. Rankings are dumb. D-U-M-B DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB! Yeah, sure, rankings are fine because a casual fan can see who the better team is supposed to be. That's great. But to send two teams to the National Championship because sports writers, computers and coaches thinkthose are the best two teams? Absurd. Stupid. Stone-age like. I don't care about college basketball until March Madness. If there was a football tournament like that...even if it was only 8 or 16 teams, it would at least be legitimate and amazing.

2) I don't have a team. Who can I root for? Michigan? Please. Ohio State? They blow lately. Florida? No. I hate Florida. LSU? Uhh...doesn't everyone root for LSU? Clearly I can't root for Tennessee. Don't they yell "Rocky Top" a lot? Not interested. Ummm...USC? Sounds shitty. I can't root for Notre Dame, because, well, everyone else who doesn't bandwagon root for LSU roots for them...Uhhh...Boise State? I feel like rooting for anyone in the WAC makes you illegitimate. Texas? Probably not. BC? I mean...the proximity is nice I guess. I went to a Harvard vs. Brown games last season. That was....spellbinding. No....I need to root for a quality team that is usually an underdog but that has a remote chance of making it to a Bowl game. I used to root for Penn State when I was a kid. Because I liked the simple uniforms and quality defense. Plus they were Nationally televised all the time. Can someone tell me who I should root for? PLEASE?

Those things aside, It looks amazing.

And since I don't have a team, I am just continually rooting against nationally ranked teams. I root AGAINST every team with a number. That's it.

So last night was great. Great football. Take that Tennessee!

Sings "It's the most wonderful time of the year..." I hate that song but right now is the most wonderful time of the year because college football is about to kickoff. How fitting it is to have the craziest Big Orange Roundtablers, Losers with Socks, to be the host this week.

Now call your kids and/or significant other to the computer and STFU because we're going to the Roundtable.

1. In a perfect world, what time would your UCLA Kick-off start?

For me the perfect time would be 7:00 PM EST. In my perfect world that would give me the time to get my exercise in by throwing unopened jars of baby food at the homeless AKA Bammers, leave plenty of time to blog about how much UCLA sucks ass & watch Judge Judy.

2. Sometimes doing the right thing is tough. Sometimes we have to choose between bad and worse.  I have known snipers that get bothered even though what they did was absolutely right. It seems being a coach would have some similar circumstances. Did you think that Coach Fulmer and staff ever lose any sleep over their choices?

I'm sure Coach Fulmer lost sleep over that embarrassing loss to Bama last year but not because of the choices he made but devising a way to enact full revenge for this years game.

I'm sure if we lose a game by three points the coaches will ponder about the choices they made during and before the game, but lose sleep completely....no.

3. Nick Saban is going to start 10 freshmen against Clemson.  Why is he doing this and did he just buy another year of grace from the Red Elephant Club?

I'm going to allow Billy Bob Bammer to answer this question. After the 11 arrests unfortunate incidents this off-season, Lord Saban has no choice but to start the freshmen. I'm not sure that Saban will start 10 freshmen against Clemson. It is my belief that Saban is doing what he does best and that is lying through his teeth playing mind games.

If Lord Saban AKA the Behr Reincarnated doesn't win against Tennessee, Auburn and gets Croomed again then I is sure the Red Elephant Club will be reluctant to give him a pass. Then again he is the most powerful man in football at least according to Forbes and A.I.L. magazine (Alabama Incest Love) so he might get a pass. I'm out of here I gots squirrels to hunt!

RTR Bitches!

4. Critique Lou Holtz as a ESPN "analyst". Irish and Cock Homer or scripted live rassler?

I personally love Lou Holtz...when he's not within earshot of me. Holtz is the evil moke announcer of ESPN. Someone says something intelligent Holtz is compelled to disagree. I would say that some of his spoken drivel is scripted but the "Lou Lisp" makes it impossible to tell.

The final analysis is he's a criminally insane Irish Homer who loves the Cock. Funny thing is neither present day fan base can stand him now.

Oh yeah he sucks at everything he does.

Be sure to stop by all the Big Orange Roundtable members' blogs for their answers.

• Loser With Socks (Host Site)
  
• 3rd Saturday in Blogtober
• Fulmer's Belly
• Gate 21
• Rocky Top Talk
• SouthEastern Sports Blog
• The View from the Hill
• Moondog Sports

Is it that time again?

As Horseshack for the timely show Welcome Back Kotter would say, "Ooh ooh ohh I know the answer!"

Yes folks it time for this weeks Big Roundtable! This weeks host is none other than the smart-asses geniuses of Fulmer's Belly, who of course takes sarcasm to whole new level. Hence that's why they've been on my blog roll forever and a day now.

Now let's get to the questions for this week.

1. Knock on wood before answering this question, but let's assume that Jonathan Crompton goes out with a season ending injury in the 1st half of the first game of the season. Should we just pack it up and wait until next season, or is there a glimmer of hope in any of the young backups?

There is always a glimmer of hope! BJ Coleman and Nick Stephens are the back ups and people say they aren't looking good. However I have it on good word that Coleman is so deathly afraid of the Mountain Messiah Crompton that he is mucking it up on purpose in practice.

The Mountain Messiah can throw the ball the distance of five football fields. Coleman can do that same except while laying on his stomach. Coleman is ironically the Mountain Messiah's kryptonite, much like Crompton was Ainge's kryptonite.

Colemanites assemble and start fighting for what is yours. Why wait till Crompton goes down? Carpe diem! Carpe diem!

If all else fails we have Eric Berry. He can do anything he wants to do except coach of course

2. Does Erik Ainge have a future in the NFL?

Of course he has a future. Someone will have to keep a current count of Brett Fa***'s happy pills pain relievers. The sad thing is if Ainge was drafted by Chicago he would probably be the starter. Grossman is out and Kyle Orton? Puh-lease. The Jets like Ainge because he holds the clipboard much like Chad Pennington did when he was injured. Which was a lot.

3. Why in the hell did you decide to blog about Tennessee football? Aren't there already enough Tennessee blogs?

(Sigh) :::bangs head on keyboard::: THIS IS NOT A TENNESSEE BLOG.

Sure I love Tennessee to the point that my piss is orange. But me and the writers here strive to cover all teams from all sports. We don't focus solely on Tennessee or the SEC. I do love to pick on Tennessee (which reminds me I'm worried since we haven't had any arrests lately) & the other teams of the SEC. Like my tag line proclaims this is a blog on why ALL teams suck. (Alabama sucking the hardest though)

4. If you could be one player in one game in Tennessee history, which player and which game would you pick? Why?

Travis Stephens because he rushed for 226 yards on just 19 carries and scored 2 touchdowns as Tennessee broke a 30-year winless drought against the Gators in Ben Hill Griffin Stadium with a 34-32 victory.

As most of you know that was the last game God Spurrier coached the Swamp. I wonder how that feels. His last game at Florida was a loss to Tennessee.

5 Which is your favorite rivalry and why? (Not necessarily limited to Tennessee teams)

When people talk about rivalry in sports, the very first dual that comes to mind is Red Sox/Yankees or Yankees/Red Sox, depending if they are a scum sucking Yankee fan. This rivalry transcends the field of play and dates back to the Civil War. That's a rivalry people!

The Red Sox were one of the most successful teams in baseball at the turn of the 20th century and through the following two decades. The team won the inaugural World Series in 1903 and four more between 1912 and 1918. During this period, the Yankees were often called the Highlanders, in reference to playing their games in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan. Although physically located on a hilltop, the Highlanders routinely finished near the bottom of the standings because much like the Yankees of today they sucked. The one notable exception came in 1904, when the Highlanders, led by pitcher Jack Chesbro who won a record 41 games, met  Boston on the final game of the season to decide the AL pennant. Chesbro threw a wild pitch and Boston won the pennant, but there was no World Series that year as the Giants refused to play. That would be the last time in a hundred years that the Red Sox would defeat the Yankees in a title-deciding game.

In 1916, the Red Sox were purchased by Harry Frazee on credit for $500,000. Though the team won the World Series in 1918, Frazee was hard-pressed to pay off the loans he accrued by purchasing the team and by producing Broadway shows. After the Red Sox finished sixth in the American League in 1919, Frazee sold several Red Sox players, including pitcher-turned-outfielder Babe Ruth to the Yankees. Frazee received $125,000 and a loan of $300,000-secured on Fenway Park, the Red Sox' home stadium-for Ruth.

Ruth's arrival in New York simultaneously launched the Yankee dynasty while ravaging the Red Sox. While the Red Sox' five World Series titles were a record at the time, 1918 would be the team's last championship for 86 years. Meanwhile, Ruth's home run hitting prowess anchored the Yankee line-up, which became known as "Murderers' Row" in the late 1920s. After his trade to the Yankees, Ruth's new team reached the World Series seven times during his career in New York, winning four. This abrupt reversal of fortunes for the Red Sox marked the beginning of the supposed "Curse of the Bambino". But it was not the Ruth deal alone that reversed the fortunes of both clubs.

I will not get into the complete history of this rivalry. I don't have the time to tell the complete story right here, so if you don't know it already then I apologize. Let's fast forward a little bit though.

The year 2004 brought Jason Varitek's mitt in Alex Rodriguez's face. And then came another October meeting, and the Yankees standing three outs away -- with Mariano Rivera on the mound -- from a humiliating sweep of the Red Sox. And then came the biggest postseason collapse in history, and the Red Sox celebrating on the Yankee Stadium field. And the earth itself seemed to tilt on its axis.

These days there is more friction between the fans than there is between the players. I mean, we see the heat come out every now and again, but by and large guys like Jeter and Veritek are too professional to let the whole thing get "too far" under their skin. I know what you are going to say, "What about Veritek and A-Rod?"

That was a catcher protecting his pitcher, and yes the rest of the team was energized by the way it played out, but the fans and media turned it into something bigger I think, and hey, I'm all for it.

Yankees vs. Red Sox is the Greatest Rivalry in Sports because it contains every element required for a great rivalry, and more

Between 1919 and 2003, the Yankees had won 26 World Series championships. The Red Sox had won none. The one constant in the rivalry was that the Yankees always won in the end, a fact that became a significant part of the lore surrounding the rivalry: According to the so-called "Curse of the Bambino," the Red Sox' woes began when they sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees.

So in October 2004, when the Red Sox finally trumped the Yankees, becoming the first team in history to overcome a three-games-to-none deficit -- then went on to sweep the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series -- the curse was broken and the rivalry was changed forever. The Red Sox are the current defending champions the Yankees are pretty much out of it.

However the rivalry will live on and every year it grows stronger and more passionate for all the fans even the suck-ass Yankee fans.

Bonus: Who will win the national title this year? And by how many points will Tennessee win? (See what we did there?)

Tennessee over West Virginia with the score of 55-10.

Go on and check to other members of the Roundtable of their responses to these questions. Now go now damn t! Move it! GO VOLS! GO SOX!

• Loser With Socks
• 3rd Saturday in Blogtober
• Gate 21
• Rocky Top Talk
• SouthEastern Sports Blog
• The View from the Hill
• Moondog Sports

Let's break it down peeps.

1. University of Florida. Guns, sweet sticky icky weed & Tebow.

2. University of Mississippi. The Grove, the cheerleaders & Jerrell Powe

3. Penn State University. Joe Pa, a shitload of arrests and the Penn State Paranormal Research Society

4. West Virginia University. Deliverance, igniting couches & Rich Rodriguez

5. Ohio University. At least they can beat tOSU at something

6. Randolph-Macon College. Who the hell is this? Seriously

7. University of Georgia. Uga, the umpteen million personalities Herschel Walker & fans that paint their heads

8. University of Texas. Dope head/actor Matthew Mcconaughey, Bevo & Mac Brown

9. University of California-Santa Barbara. Mascot looks like a psychotic Hamburglar

10. Florida State University The Cowgirls, Bowden & wondering if he will ever retire.

11. University of New Hampshire. Like there is anything better to do there.

12. University of Iowa. Sex scandal, Haden Frye and still sucking at football

13. University of Colorado. Ralphie, Hawkins and see above

14. University of Indiana. Bobby Knight, text messaging fool Sampson & basketball season doesn't look good next year

15. Tulane University. The green wave due to puke

16. University of Illinois. The Fighter Zookers enough said

17. Arizona State University. Ugly school colors, PAC 10 & Eckerson NCAA sanctions to follow

18. University of Tennessee. GO VOLS! Cumberland Ave. Rocky Top & Smokey!

19. University of Alabama. Cheaters, Dead Behr & Subpoenas

20. Loyola University. The French Quarter and attempting to out drink Tulane.

The last time I wrote about Britton Colquitt people said I was harsh. I still stand by what I wrote today however Colquitt is claiming to have learned his lesson with some help of course.

The DUI arrest that occurred in February cost him his football scholarship, a five-game suspension and was an embarrassment to his family and to the University of Tennessee.

Britton says he will change a thing.

"God's teaching me a big lesson, what to prioritize in my life, and I've leaned a lot from this,'' Colquitt said Monday after pleading guilty to DUI in Sessions Court.

"I wouldn't go back and change it if I could. It's made me somebody I need to be in the future.''

Not to sound too cynical here but nothing helps people find God like the criminal justice system. I just can't stand people claiming they have found God, or were given a message from God, or anything religious without something to back up that claim.

Way too many times, people have said that God gave them a lesson, saved them, and changed them, etc.....then a year later something else happens.

I would rather Colquitt (or anyone else) go 10 years without an incident.....then point to the period of time where they were changed by the influence of God.

I just would like some action before claims of being touched by God. There are too many people giving glory to god.....without giving glory to god if that makes any sense.

I'm also tired of people referring to arrests as "mistakes".

At the same time I recognize that sometimes you have to hit the bottom before you can start your way back up and yes there's a real possibility he is sincere in his words at least I hope he is.

The charge was amended to first-offense DUI and Colquitt received the standard penalty:

A suspended sentence of 11 months, 29 days; suspended driver's license for one year; $350 fine and court costs; 24-hour detention and 24-hour litter pickup; attend DUI school.

"I've been through a lot because of myself, the actions I've made and the decisions I've made,'' Colquitt said. "I just wanted to get it over with and take my punishment and not try to fight it.

"Just learn from my mistakes, move on and make me a better person.''

Factoring in a series of alcohol-related incidents in September 2003 when Colquitt was an incoming freshman, Coach Fulmer revoked Colquitt's scholarship and suspended him the first five games of the 2008 season.

He will suit up starting with the Oct. 11 game at Georgia.

"It's tough,'' Colquitt said. "You realize what you're missing.

"I know when the season comes around and I'm having to watch five games, I'll really appreciate those last seven. Just being able to take the field will be a lot more of an honor. I took it for granted before.''

"I kind of got lost again in my ways, in the things I was focusing on in my life,'' he said, "and it led me back into kind of the same thing.''

Colquitt requested Monday to report Friday morning to serve the remainder of his 24-hour detention. He is credited with 10 hours following his arrest.

He returns to Sessions Court on Aug. 11 to check progress on his probation.

I still feel that he should not be allowed on the team. Too many young men sacrifice so much of their lives to be a part of such a proud tradition. He does not deserve to wear the uniform.

Your SEC Preview

by ByronVolFan

Hello, once again, from the banks of the Mississippi River and the Bluff City. It is getting to that time of year when the sandstorms of the sports year have us crawling through the wasteland of the summer in search of the Promised Land...there it is...COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!! It's juuuuust around that next dune, my friend. We will soon make it there...fear not.

This heat has begun to suck from my memory the idea that a cold fall morning calls for getting the grill ready for the BBQ and a strong and spicy bloody mary. I have forgotten how, no matter how crazy the night before may have been, all God-fearing sports fans are up in time for ESPN's College GameDay. There are very few excuses for missing this and the only REAL excuse you have is that you are en route to an actual SEC game. [This year, I learned, that your roommate will chastise you if you miss GameDay because your fiancé wants to talk on the phone. There is no purgatory big enough for such crimes. We may miss church tomorrowbut Herbie and Corso demand our reverence...even if they malign our beloved alma mater. And, they probably will even as we slam down our red Dixie cups, sloshing our Bloody Marys on the table, and call them every 4-lettered word we have ever heard. In fact, we probably make some up just to let those Yankees know we mean business.

Your Gridiron Goddess says: A commitment to GameDay is no small feat on the West Coast. It starts at 7am out here. And yet, it is my 2^nd favorite time of the week. College Football Saturday is my Holy Day.]

Your humble Southern correspondent also learned some other valuable truths this year. Do NOT assume that your team will not make the conference championship unless it is mathematically impossible to do so. I made the mistake of planning the proposal of marriage on the day of the SEC Championship. When I bought the ring and set up all the necessary surprises, I would not have bet that UT would have made the game. However, we did but to watch that game at a surprise party in honor of your new fiancé...was disheartening, at best, for this Volunteer. Thankfully, my soon-to-be bride loves football as much as I, was equally as disheartened, and was distracted by the wedding magazines her friends had brought her. So, up yours, Football gods!!! You tried to ruin my impending marriage by letting her see me lose my mind over Ainge's "play", however, I outsmarted you with those wedding magazines...the first, last, and only time those things have ever HELPED a guy in need!!

On to football news...last year, I humbly submit to you, that I I was pretty dead-on. Got the championship game right and was fairly close on most teams, with some notable exceptions. So, gloating aside (as this is a new year and ample opportunity to get my butt handed to me) here's the "down and dirty" breakdown of the SEC in the 2008 season.

SEC East

Florida (9-3, 5-3). Tebow is the man. I know that I'm supposed to hate him as the Florida QB, but I can't. However, I've heard the same song and dance out of UF about RB's and D. I'm sorry, but I just don't see the improvement to win the title here and the rest of the conference is figuring Florida out. Good year, close games...but no Atlanta.

Georgia (11-1, 7-1). The hottest team in football last year--well in the 2^nd half of the year at least. Moreno will be in New York at the end of the year and Stafford will prove much better. The Georgia/Florida game will make/break the division...and probably the conference. I've got Georgia beating them again as Moreno will just kill the Gator D. A good deal of pundits are worried about the schedule. Really? Their road games are South Carolina, Arizona State, LSU, Kentucky, and Auburn. So, they lose at LSU and play one INCREDIBLE game at Auburn...but where's the BIG scare here? Other than Richt's inability to close the deal when highly rated, I just don't see it. Conference champs and SEC rep to the Sugar Bowl.

Kentucky (5-7, 1-7) Kentucky's back to their doormat status. Loss of their star athletes and a coach who probably secretly wishes he could run the Full House triple option every game with players with no facemasks...makes for a hard rebuilding process. (Note: It would be cool, however, if someone pulled out that kind of BS consistently...I mean, it works on NCAA Football on PS2!!!)

South Carolina (8-4, 5-3) Spurrier's QB's...Spurrier's QB's...blah blah blah. First, in the interest of full disclosure, I have them beating Tennessee. This is not biased, but I'm just still not sold on them...never have been. The Ol' Ball Coach is slipping. The program will never usurp Georgia, Florida, and UT in the East on a consistent basis (and yes, I know that in my 2008 rankings, they are ahead of UT...I'm talking about the program level). New QB, loss of some key players...mid level bowl and more "aw shucks" from Darth Visor himself.

Tennessee (8-4, 5-3) Bias Alert! Gonna be an ugly year. I'm sorry, Amy, but I just don't see us going back to the Coast and leaving with a victory against UCLA. , I wouldn't put money on that game if I were you. New OC and QB and the same inept banana hammock calling the defense. However, we'll be better than expectations. Crompton is mean as a snake at QB. I like him a lot and the new OC could really take us to the "next level". Also, I wouldn't be super fan if I didn't point this out...there was another time that we lost a superstar QB, had a new QB coming in a great OL, experienced RB's and WR core, and a ready-made-tough-as-nails D...that was in 1998. It's a stretch, I know...and I'm not predicting it! Back to reality, close games but coaching and inconsistent play at QB will eat us alive.

[Your Gridiron Goddess says: UCLA is going to STINK up the joint this year my friend. They barely have a QB that can even WALK right now But they do have Norm Chow, grrrrr..]

Vanderbilt (4-8, 2-6). The only good thing about Vanderbilt being so bad is, as I've spent more time in Nashville for work and personal, the Vandy fans make me laugh. There's always next year. Personal highlight of my Vandy picks...beating Ole Miss!

SEC West

Alabama (8-4, 4-4). But wait, didn't Saban walk on water and bring sight to the blind and cure cancer and find Jimmy Hoffa and figure out what Bob Dylan's "Desolation Row" was about? No. Good QB...but inconsistent QB...will lead you to the Liberty Bowl every time. Just ask South Carolina and Miss. State. Wilson's got the talent and the fire in his gut, but damn, that boy looks stupid sometimes. That, and a ridiculous schedule this year makes it tough for me to find a much better path.

Arkansas (5-7, 2-6). I have to admit, that when I got to Arkansas on my picks sheet, I couldn't believe that they, by default, had this many wins. The latest stop on the Petrino Boat to Nowhere is pretty bare. Casey Dick? Really...a Petrino-style QB? I'm just not seeing it. Thank God for Western Illinois!

Auburn (9-3, 6-2). Year in/year out the toughest team to call but this seems to be about right given the schedule and the fact that, apparently, I'm drinking the Georgia Kool-Aid this year. The only interesting call I'm making here is that Alabama beats Auburn in the Iron Bowl. They're just due for it and I smell something like that brewing in the last month of this year. Incidentally, the month of November will be ridiculous in SEC football. Jobs will be secured and lost in those four weeks.

LSU (11-1, 7-1) SOMEHOW, once again, LSU benefits from a ridiculously great schedule. They'll lose to either Auburn or Florida on the road (my money's on Auburn) and they'll have to play South Carolina on the road (yawn). The rest of the games are at home (or neutral site against Arkansas...yawn). I mean, I don't care who's at QB, they're still loaded and all of those drunk Cajuns (not a term of derision!) provide an incredible home field advantage. Still great on D and have great skill players and one BIG OL.

Ole Miss (5-7, 1-7). As has been noted, I've never been impressed with Houston Nutt. I always thought he was overrated as a coach. All I've heard is "Snead will save the day for the Rebs". Ok, but Snead is not Tebow...who else do you have? Riiiiiight, that's what I thought. Not convinced, here, that this is the year that Houston Nutt sends the Rebs to Atlanta (the only SEC West team never to have done so...tee hee hee!).

Mississippi State (8-4, 5-3). Bias Alert! WOW! Ok, so I should have sent my beloved Bulldogs bowling last year. 8 wins though? Byron, are you crazy? Yes. Sure, they lost some people, but they're stacked behind them. A coach like Croom seizes momentum in his program and uses it to get his guys back in the game. I'm betting on a one game improvement? "8 wins Byron?". Yes, remember, that if Arkansas didn't have one of the greatest RB tandems in football history last year, State would have crushed the mighty Arkansas. They only lost by 2 touchdowns...which for MSU standards vs. a Heisman candidate...pretty dern good! This year, there's no Heisman in Fayetteville and State has a chance to beat up on the new guy, Bobby Petrino.

Championship Game: Georgia vs. LSU...Georgia gets revenge on LSU and heads to the Sugar Bowl.

On a side note, for those of you that like your football to be fun and crazy...pay attention to New Mexico State. Hal Mumme, disgraced former coach at Kentucky who makes Mike Leach look like a run-first coach, and Joe Lee Dunn have teamed up down there. Dunn is notorious for having some of the most odd-ball defensive formations imaginable. Ever seen 2 down linemen on D? He'll show it to you. That combined with Mumme's 158 passes/game, it'll be funny to watch.

So, that's the preview from south of the Mason-Dixon line. I'm not even going to pretend to forecast the nation this year. There's just too many variables and changes this year that it's going to be a toss-up year. Good luck to your teams. If you're a Big 10 fan, can't wait to see OSU be overrated and shown up in the post-season. HA!

(Your Gridiron Goddess says: Sept 13 is the day the Buckeyes dream of another trip to the BCS Championship game dies)

Good luck everyone and continue to check out The Gridiron Goddess for all of your football needs!

I know that if I was much more in tune with why people do the things they do I would be able to draw some conclusions from the sounds that come from their pockets and belt hooks. We call them ringtones. We've all heard them; songs, giggles, screams, cheers, jeers chirping and many other personally chosen favorites.

For example when someone calls me on my cell phone it rings. Yes, literally and simply ring, ring, ring…. From this there’s something you can conclude. This guy is boring! And you are right. I am possibly the most boring person ever to have walked the planet. No hobbies, little personality, I love the solitude of home and my idea of a vacation is a secluded location, a couple of books (one being a bible or course) a pencil, yellow highlighter and lots of paper (I would really like to have a computer but that’s optional). Another example is that when someone calls my wife Vicki, her cell phone fills the room with the sounds of “Rocky Top.” Guess what her favorite color is? Did anyone say orange?

Why did you choose your ringtone? What does it say about you? Does it evoke memories? Does it illustrate some loyalty you have in your life? What good times does it remind you of? Does it reflect your personality type? Does it reflect the kind of pet you own? I feel sure it says something about you.

But this all leads me to the real quandary that has birthed this post; “What Was Jesus’ Ringtone?” Here is His chance to make a statement of some kind to those around Him every time one of the apostles call with a question like, “Now tell me again, what did you want me to do with this little boy’s sack lunch?” or one of His siblings call to check up on their craze brother. Jesus grew as a child, did woodworking, read scripture, cooked breakfast, enjoyed a good party, expressed passion, cried and many other expressions of interest, personality, likes, dislikes…. With the laundry list of ringtone choices which would he choose to reflect Himself?

- Something light and funny?

- Something theologically heavy?

- Something reflective?

- Sounds of animals and nature?

- Reading of John 3:16?

- Maybe his phone is set on vibrate and makes no sound at all.

What Was Jesus’ Ringtone? This question has kept me awake at night long enough. Please help!

Arkansas sent 11, six those players were drafted, 2 of the six in the 1st round.

Auburn sent 11, five of those players were drafted starting in the second round.

Florida sent 7, two of those players were drafted, 1 of the two in the first round.

Georgia sent 13, four of those players were drafted starting in the fifth round.

Kentucky sent 7, four of those players were drafted starting in the fourth round.

LSU sent 11, seven of those players were drafted including the fifth overall pick.

Ole Miss sent 5, zero were taken.

Mississippi State sent 3, zero were taken.

South Carolina sent 4, one of those players were drafted.

Tennessee sent 8, three of those players were drafted including the tenth pick overall.

Vanderbilt sent 8, three of those players were drafted. 1 in the first round.

Side note. Tennessee should be the new linebacker U. Since 1999, Tennessee has had more linebackers selected in the NFL draft than any of the 10 schools with the most players picked since 1996. Penn State, meanwhile, has produced five. Only Miami (4), Ohio State (3) and Florida State (2) have produced more first-rounders over the same period. On Saturday Jerod Mayo became the 11th Tennessee linebacker selected since 1999.

This is how Bama did in the draft.

Some NCAA Bitching...

Everyone knows why the NCAA men's basketball tournament is a must-watch event. We all love the unveiling of the brackets; we all love San Diego and Western Kentucky and we really love Davidson. We all agree Tennessee's band should get a bid every year if only to play "Rocky Top" at least a dozen times a game, and there are few things better than being in a building when a major upset is brewing and all the so-called neutral fans start screaming for a group of kids none of them could have picked out of a lineup two hours earlier.

That's all good. But the NCAA tournament is far from perfect, in large part because the NCAA, in spite of all its yammering about doing what's best for the "student-athlete," sold its soul years ago and continues to put it up for resale to make a few extra bucks every year.

Click the link to read all the suggestions the writers have. Click! It is funnnny.

And check out this great last line:

Then again, they're usually quiet during the official timeouts and the 20-minute halftimes while the PA guy thanks all the corporate champions, tells everyone the second game will start at 10:10 and reminds everyone that NCAA "student-athlete" day is April 6.

Seriously, they do that.

Thank God for Davidson.

Jigaboos are led by a person who tries to look out for their own interests, yet is not afraid to capitalize on her own individual success. Wannabees have a fearless leader who would rather stay the course as opposed to jumping from one place to another.

Whenever Jigaboos and Wannabees play each other, the Wannabees win. Wannabees win championships, sometimes defeating Jigaboos if necessary. The Jigaboos are jealous of the Wannabees recent victory. Wannabees are not complaining at all. Jigaboos have enlisted the help of someone of ancient descent to complain to the higher powers that the last matchup was not fair. Wannabees shrug it off.

Jigaboos are just jealous that they are not proud winners like the Wannabees. Jigaboos, deep down inside, want to be pretty like Wannabees. Jigaboos should just shut up and play.

As you can tell, I am a Wannabee fan. Rocky Top Wannabee...

Tennessee sophomore Steve Crnkovich is among the top college baseball pitchers named to the preliminary watch list for the fifth annual Roger Clemens Award.

This is the fourth straight season in which Tennessee has placed one of its pitchers on the Clemens Award watch list. Former Vol Luke Hochevar won the award in 2005. Hochevar also was the first overall pick in the 2006 draft by the hopeless and impotent Kansas City Royals.

The Roger Clemens Award:

• Trophy is shaped like a hypodermic needle.
• Grand prize is a lifetime supply of HGH.
• It's quite an honor to have your name DRUG (get it drug :) ) onto the watch list.
• Jose Canseco throws the winner a party each year.

I wonder if the winner is NOT on any illegal substances, does that mean there is an asterisk by their name. Either way congrats Crnkovich I hope you win. (Assuming winning doesn't include having to go before Congress).

In his article Adams states the following:

"How could Fulmer not dismiss Colquitt from the team after what could be a fifth alcohol-related offense?" Adams wrote. "Answer: Colquitt is a starter.

"You can't blame Fulmer for the crimes committed by his players and former players. But he is responsible for disciplining players while they're on his team," Adams said. "And he has failed miserably at that."

This article drew hundreds of responses from readers. I for one do believe that at times Fulmer is weak at discipline but he is not anywhere as weak as this article makes him out to be. My feeling is Mr. Adams is seeing the revolution I've started and wants to take credit for it.

Today Fulmer has risen to strike back at Adams and others on the perceived weak discipline that Fulmer is accused of in the article Adams wrote. Today in an article that is published an article The Knoxville News Sentinel's Web site Fulmer fights back.

"Our internal discipline is based on one factor alone: the course that is most likely to help that individual young man make amends and get his life straight," Fulmer wrote in the column that will appear in Friday's edition.

"I've undoubtedly made some mistakes, but I try to do what I think is in the best interest for each young man."

Fulmer said he will accept any criticism from Adams about the play of the program.

"What I will not accept is Mr. Adams questioning my integrity, my sense of fairness, or values as a man," Fulmer wrote.

I'm glad to see fight back on this issue. Ghost of Neyland of The Third Saturday in Blogtober published a stirring piece that I fully support. Fulmer should be the sheriff of Knox County. (Sweet Photoshop) This could be the thing that Fulmer could pursue after coaching. First sheriff then congressman last stop...that's right.

Fulmer for President!!!!! Go Vols!!! The future begins today.

I'm here to breakdown this years class and predict their future as it relates to Tennessee football. Then the pessimists shall be silenced.

E.J. Abrams-Ward ****

Position: LB & FB

Other schools that offered:

• Boston College
• Clemson
• South Carolina

Strengths:

• Agility
• Athleticism
• Lateral Movement

Weakness:

• Pass Coverage Skills
• Bad Breath
• Split ends

Prediction:

He's a good player. So that probably means he'll be under utilized thus his talent will be wasted. He'll enter the NFL via free agent and make the pro bowl within 5 years. While Tennessee fans will question why he was to busy braiding his hair on the sidelines instead of playing.

Steven Fowlkes ***

Position: DE

Other schools that offered:

• Arkansas
• Miss. State
• South Carolina

Strengths:

• Straight ahead speed

Weakness:

• St. Louis Cardinals fan

Prediction:

Mostly likely will be on defense. He's originally from College Park. Steven will get homesick and asked to be released from scholarship, Phil will oblige. He then will sign with Georgia and become an all American.

Dallas Thomas not rated

Position: OT, DT

Other schools that offered:

• Alabama
• FSU
• LSU
• Ole Miss

Strengths:

• Quick for a lineman
• Resisted Alabama
• Has the name Thomas

Weakness:

• Has the name Dallas
• Fucked up haircut
• Carries a purse
• Wears an earring.

Prediction:

Wash out and then enrolls at the University of Alabama School of Interior Design where he'll meet Julio Jones. Both will fall in love with each other and move to Montana to raise sheep.

Casey Kelly ***

Position: QB

Other schools that offered:

• Alabama
• Arizona State
• Oregon
• North Carolina

Strengths:

• Resisted Alabama

Weakness:

• Likes baseball and admitted that if drafted high enough he'll abandon football all together.

Prediction:

Leaves school after being drafted by the Yankees. After fruitless years in the minor leagues Casey will leave baseball and become a drug addict. He is destined to OD behind a Waffle House where his last thought before he passes will be "I should have never left Tennessee."

Montori Hughes ***

Position: DT

Other schools that offered:

• Tennessee State
• Jackson State

Strengths:

• Intensity
• Mobility

Weakness:

• Are those man boobs?

Prediction:

Leaves school to hunt and kill the person that broke his heart, Dallas Thomas.

Willie Bohannon ***

Position: DE

Other schools that offered:

• Alabama
• Kentucky
• Ole Miss

Strengths:

• 42 career sacks in high school
• Resisted Alabama

Weakness:

• Arrogance
• Has the name Willie
• Listens to Whitney Houston

Prediction:

Willie will most likely not qualify academically. He'll enroll in some community college where Urban Meyer will "discover" him and sign him. Willie is destined to break more laws than Tony Joiner.

Prentiss Waggner ***

Position: CB

Other schools that offered:

• Auburn
• Ole Miss
• North Carolina
• Florida
• Nebraska

Strengths:

• Told Meyer to go fuck himself
• Looks means as hell

Weakness:

• I'm too frightened to say.

Prediction:

20-25 Armed robbery and aggravated assault.

Marlon Walls ***

Position: LB

Other schools that offered:

• Arkansas
• Auburn
• Florida
• Ole Miss

Strengths:

• Told Meyer to go fuck himself
• Fools people by making them think he's high all the time

Weakness:

• He really is high all time.

Prediction:

He will be kicked off the team in his junior year for drug use. He'll then go to some small school get an internship to the publication "High Times". Twenty years later he'll be the editor.

StePhaun Raines **

Position: S

Other schools that offered:

• None

Strengths:

• Who the hell knows

Weakness:

• The name StePhaun
• Cosby Show Fan

Prediction:

Will get beaten up by other team mates for doing bad impersonations of Bill Cosby.

Gerald Williams ****

Position: LB

Other schools that offered:

• Everyone and their mother

Strengths:

• Tackling machine

Weakness:

• JC so only have him for two years

Prediction:

Excellent player for 2 years and only arrested once. First round draft pick barring injury.

Herman Lathers ***

Position: LB

Other schools that offered:

• Alabama
• LSU
• Ole Miss

Strengths:

• Resisted Alabama
• Speed

Weakness:

• Pointy ears
• Named Herman

Prediction:

Eventually quit school and draw disability for PTSD because his teammates made fun of his pointy ears and his first name.

Rodriguez Wilks ***

Position: WR

Other schools that offered:

• Alabama
• Florida
• Georgia Tech
• Kentucky
• Michigan
• South Carolina

Strengths:

• Hands and concentration
• Speed
• Strength
• Told Meyer to go fuck himself
• Resisted Alabama

Weakness:

• Running ability
• Takes a good mug shot

Prediction:

A clone of Robert Meacham and like Meacham will suck for two years, be awesome his third year and leave school. After that no one will hear from him again.

Preston Bailey

Position: OL

Other schools that offered:

• Miami
• Georgia Tech
• Michigan

Strengths:

• Aggressiveness
• Drive Blocking Skills
• Power

Weakness:

• Technique

Prediction:

Just like most linemen we'll never really hear his name called until he gives up a sack. Stays the full four years. Becomes a Vol TV/Radio announcer just like Will Overstreet.

Ben Bartholomew ***

Position: FB

Other schools that offered:

None

Strengths:

• Grandfather played for UT

Weakness:

• Recruited because he's a legacy.
• Looks "Privileged"

Prediction:

Ben will never see any real playing time. Drops out after junior year because he got a freshman pregnant.

Carson Anderson **

Position: OG

Other schools that offered:

None

Strengths:

• None that I could find

Weakness:

• Fat
• Looks retarded
• Sweats in below zero temperature

Prediction:

People will call him stupid & fat. Phil will be embarrassed by this and find some reason to boot him off the team. Carson will return to UT on an academic scholarship. He'll go on to write a Pulitzer Prize winning book called "The Tao of Fat & Stupid Phil Fulmer"

Tauren Poole ***

Position: RB

Other schools that offered:

• Auburn
• Clemson
• Maryland
• South Carolina
• Vandy

Strengths:

• Power
• Tackle breaking ability
• Vision

Weakness:

• He smiles in photos
• Breakaway speed

Prediction:

That smiling will get him into a fight his sophomore year where he'll be promptly arrested and tasered. Nerve damage will be the end result of his smiling. Instead of telling UT medical staff of ever increasing pain he will "self medicate" with the help of a bong much like Coker did and his career will end just like Coker's did. Coker smiled a lot too.

Austin Johnson ***

Position: MLB

Other schools that offered:

• Alabama
• South Carolina

Strengths:

• Tackling Technique
• Size
• Toughness
• Resisted Alabama
• Soap opera good looks

Weakness:

• Foot quickness
• Instincts
• Shedding ability
• Soap opera good looks

Prediction:

After fucking Crompton's girlfriend, Phil Fulmer will make sure he is booted for "team rule violations".

Aaron Douglas ****

Position: TE

Other schools that offered:

• None

Strengths:

• Competitiveness
• Courage
• Hands and concentration

Weakness:

• Strength
• Looks sleazy

Prediction:

Will probably be the best one out of the recruits. His career will skyrocket until his first injury. He will then get Jeremy Shockey Syndrome where he'll be injured every game for the rest of his life.

So there you it. See? It's not as bad as it looks. It's much worse. :)

Meet Kevin Hart a 6-foot-5, 290-pound left guard -- listed as a two-star prospect by Rivals.com in this years recruiting class. Fernley high school offensive lineman Kevin Hart was all set to commit to Oregon. But on Friday, during an assembly in front of the entire school, Hart chose California over the Pac-10 rival Ducks.

"They really won me over," Hart, who will be the first Fernley athlete to receive a full scholarship to a Division I school directly out of high school, said of the Golden Bears. "Coach (Jeff) Tedford and I talked a lot, and the fact that the head coach did most of the recruiting of me kind of gave me the real personal experience."

With Cal and Oregon hats sitting on a table in front of him on Friday, Hart explained what his decision came down to and then donned the Cal cap to cheers from classmates and his parents and grandparents sitting in the front row.

His parents and teachers were happy for him. They could not wait till he got out to Berkley to experience the college life, start smoking pot & and only call when money was needed.

Something strange happened. Less than 10 hours after Hart proclaimed Cal was his college of choice questions was raised. Questions like when are you leaving? Will you miss us? And since when did Cal even offer you a scholarship since they have never heard you? You know the basics.

By Sunday neither Hart's father, Richard, nor Fernley Coach Mark Hodges would confirm the status of any offers. Oregon, Nevada, Illinois and Oklahoma State were said to be other finalists. Both men also declined to comment in depth on the entire situation because, as Hodges said, it is under "law enforcement investigation."

Wait the Po Po was called? You mean Jeff Tedford has someone impersonating him? Maybe he "blacks out" and forget he recruits these kids.

"This is involving law enforcement and may involve other departments, other than the NCAA, that are bigger than local," said Hodges, "I would love to tell you everything I know, but I can't at this time and I'm not even sure what I know. Up until the other night I was a happy man."

"The NCAA is involved because Cal and Oregon are involved," said NIAA executive director Eddie Bonine, "It could be that someone was impersonating those schools."

Un"fucking"believable!!! Remember according to Hart himself he and Jeff talked a lot. So it's obvious Jeff Tedford was high from his players supply. Hart turned down offers from Oregon, Nevada, Illinois and Oklahoma State.

But both Oregon and Cal say Hart who? Who is this nut job?

"He was never in our system," Dave Williford, Oregon assistant athletic director for media services, said.

Basically the kid is a pathological liar. In fact Hart's school district can't even find any school that offered him a scholarship.

This kid is psycho and apparently is doing everything to make himself look good in front of his peers and parents.

Phil Fulmer GO SIGN THIS BOY NOW. Our recruiting class is sad. We need someone this crazy. If he's willing to attempt to pull this scam off then imagine how hard he could work to become a starter.

Of course you won't be able to trust him but considering the 4 arrests lately it seems you can't trust any of the players. Get him now before Nick Saban signs him, you fat non-recruiting bastard.

To: Chief Sterling Owen, IV, Chief of Police for Knoxville Police Department & Chief August Washington, Chief of UTPD

CC: Bill Haslam, Mayor of Knoxville, Coach Phillip Fulmer, Head Honcho, All Things Volunteer Football

From: Joel, Contributing Blogger for http://ymswwc.wordpress.com and Volunteer

Dear Sirs,

I would like to first take the opportunity to thank you kind men for reading this letter. I know that you are busy trying to keep the streets of Knoxville safe, the campus of the University of Tennessee secure, and the whole state proud of its team, the Volunteers. However, as a concerned fan, both of the school, the SEC Conference, and College Football in particular, I am a little bit concerned over what has happened thus far over the past few months concerning the Volunteer football program and police run ins. These concerns have led me to question myself and ask: What can I do as a fan and native Tennessean to help out, in true Volunteer fashion??? So far, this letter that I am typing with great conviction has been my call to arms.

Listen men, we simply cannot allow your fine officers to harass our football players. They have enough to deal with, such as studying, hanging with some friends, playing football, and representing Volunteers worldwide. These fine young men are doing what it takes to "Work Like Heck" and make us all proud. So what if they decide to have a drink to relax. Is it too much trouble to ask that they stumble around in public in peace??? That fight that went on at Gibbs Hall??? What you would call a fight is what a real officer would call a UFC amateur competition. Now, because of you, Coach Fulmer has to take time away from his 6 a.m. Krispy Kreme run just so that the team can engage in some early morning calisthenics months ahead of schedule in preparation for the upcoming difficult season. I don't see Jim Tressel getting his whole entire team up to run their 6.8 second 40's (because they are so fast at Ohio State). We all know how irritable Coach Fulmer and Coach Chavis can get when they don't have their 8 dozen doughnuts and 3 gallon carafes of coffee before they eat breakfast...

As for the alleged marijuana incident with Gerald Jones, Ahmad Paige, and William Brimfield, they were victims of one big understanding. A real police officer would have concluded that the marijuana smell in the car was actually a new type of GHB scented car fragrance. The "marijuana cigarette"??? Mr. Paige simply had his car detailed at the car wash where they sprayed his car with the "Chronic Fresh" scent, and one of the workers there must have had the cigarette slip out of his pocket. See??? Charge a real criminal, not these boys. Now they have to go on police ride alongs as punishment; at the very least, let them watch Season 1 of Reno: 911. I mean, having to suffer through the antics of Officers Jones and Garcia is punishment enough, much less Clementine, Weigel, Junior, and Lt. Dangle. More importantly, we lost two recruits to Oklahoma, which has a history of allowing players to roam free...

Josh "McLovin" McNeil should have been given a handshake and a pat on the back, not a ticket and a court summons. He graciously hosted 3 ladies in his room of his apartment and was bothering no one. The cat was the one that knocked the flower pot through the window. Let's think about it: realistically, the chances of getting 2 women in the bed with the average guy is slim to none, McNeil got 3. I personally will shake his hand, no, I will HUG him if I ever meet him, as he "Volunteered" to host 3 women at once. God bless him...

In closing, boys will be boys. Who among us did not have a drink or 10 when we were 18??? Marijuana you say??? In The Netherlands, they would call that "Herbal Refreshment". Guns??? I always thought the Constitution guaranteed us the right to bear arms??? Listen, we need to get together as a community and realize what our priorities are, which should be Volunteer Athletics. Think of a world with 1 and 2 star recruits on the field on Saturdays. People will be blaming Fulmer for poor recruiting, but if you keep harassing the players, the blame will be on you, because the real stars will be too busy with court dates and probation.

Thank you for your time and GO BIG ORANGE!!!

"The offense we were running in Florida did not have much involvement with the running back," he said during a news conference Wednesday night. "There was some frustration there, I must be honest with you."

Florida had running backs this past year? Oh you mean Tebow, play action to himself, fakes pass, runs up the middle. That was Florida's running game last year and it worked.

Drayton has been with the Gators since Herban Meyer took over the program, helping guide Florida to the 2006 SEC and national championships. While at Florida, Drayton developed a reputation for recruiting, and Rivals.com named him one of its top 25 recruiters for his role in the Gators' 2007 signing class, which was ranked No. 1 in the nation by several services. Of course losing a bowl game to Michigan probably was a factor. I mean Tennessee did win their bowl game verses a Big Eleven Ten team.

So there Gators fans ppphhhpppttttt take that.

Drayton isn't the only Gator abandoning Meyer. Bo Williams, Trent Pupello (a player they initially compared to Jeremy Shockey) and several other players are looking to transfer to other programs.

Meyers top 1% of the 1% of players across the nation, as he likes to call them will still be there if they don't bolt to the NFL or wind up in jail first.

Let's take a moment to reflect on some of Meyer's players.

• Marcus Thomas failed numerous drug tests for marijuana and GHB, yet miraculously was cleared to play during a stretch run that aided the Gators to the title.
• Brandon James was busted with marijuana during a drug bust, where he had less than 20 grams of marijuana. His indefinite suspension lasted one game versus Western Kentucky.
• Dorian Monroe decided that he was above the law, removing a parking boot from his car and putting it in his trunk. Remember, Florida was thin at defensive back, thus it was swept away, and how in the hell do you remove a parking boot anyway?
• Ronnie "AK-47" Wilson, was held out this season. But, it wasn't due to the harsh penalties from Coach Meyer, it was the state law enforcement. Firing automatic weapons at people often leads to that.

Maybe Steve God Spurrier can learn a thing about discipline from Herban.

Other good news concerning Tennessee is the fact they handed Ole Miss their first loss of the season tonight, while winning their SEC opening game. Also rumors are circulating about Ryan Mallett leaving the Michigan football program and is strongly looking at Tennessee, but somehow I think Phil will fuck that up.

But, as a new year is upon us, some things have remained the same, like Coach Phil Fulmer's stubbornness and sloth-like decision making. It has been 17 days now since Coach David Cutcliffe announced that he was leaving The Hill for The Dungeon, I mean Durham, NC. Fulmer has not even come close to announcing a new OC.

In the midst of all of this, Trooper Taylor, backwards hat wearing and energetic chest bumping Receivers coach, has decided to become the offensive coordinator at Oklahoma State, teaming with Mike "And the editor who approved this is garbage" Gundy (man that hasn't gotten old to me yet). Kippy Brown, former assistant coach with Tennessee, reportedly was offered the job, and the sticking point was not money, but Brown wanting to hire two assistants. Of course, Fulmer said no.

So now we sit, brokenhearted, needing a coach but Fulmer just farted. Along with a few names mentioned earlier, two new names have popped up. Before Volunteer fans get excited, let me tell you the two names, but be warned that you might just scratch your head just as I did.

Scot Loeffler, currently the QB coach for the Michigan Wolverines, reportedly interviewed while Michigan has been in Orlando preparing for the beatdown Tim "Jesus in Gator skin" Tebow will put on them. Loeffler has spent most of his playing and coaching career at Michigan, and has been responsible for tutoring John Navarre and Chad Henne Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Sorry, fell asleep...

Frank Cignetti, currently QB coach for the San Francisco 49ers, reportedly interviewed a week ago. Cignetti has experience coaching at the college and pro level. In 2006, he was the OC at North Carolina, averaging 18 points per game. Before then, he was at Fresno St. guiding the Bulldogs to 27, 23, 37, and 35 points per game from 2002-2006. Now before one gets excited, the Bulldogs in 2004 and 2005 scored 35 or more points against traditional powers like Weber St. (55), Toledo (44), Utah St. (53), Idaho (40), San Jose St. (62 and 45), USC (42, but in that game, USC was wining handily by a few touchdowns until the Trojans put the towel boys out to get reps against the Bulldogs), SMU (42), Rice (52), Hawaii (70), and Nevada (54). He also was the QB coach for the New Orleans Saints 2000-2001. I will give him credit: he made Aaron Brooks a playoff winner, not a small task...

At this point, why don't they hire Jemele Hill as offensive coordinator??? This is in no way of any offense to her at all, but I have heard her theories on the spread option, and I think she would bring excitement back to Neyland Stadium. Plus, she hates Skip Bayless just as much as anyone else. Besides, Fulmer will override the play calls in crucial situations anyway. All Coach Jemele Hill has to do is remember Fulmer's favorite phrase, "Work Like Heck"...

Anyway, the "Study Hall Six" are made up of the following: WR Lucas Taylor, DT Demonte Bolden, LB Rico McCoy, LB Chris Donald, DB Ricardo Kemp, and WR Kenny O'Neal. Now I don't want to hear about how there's a conspiracy against these guys for not getting their studying done. Josh "Peter North" McNeil had 4 ways in his room (allegedly) and he was able to stay on the team. Jonathan Crompton of the "Fighting Cromptons" managed to keep his grades up. In a statement, Coach Fulmer offered these words: “We have every resource available through our academic center for academic success by our athletes in all of our sports. “In most of these cases, it was simply the student-athlete not being accountable and doing their work.” That last sentence translates to "These guys weren't smart enough to cheat on their test like a Seminole football player would".

Of course, one would ask "Why didn't Fulmer take time away from feasting on delicious Luther burgers and make sure his players were going to class and making good grades"? I think that is a fair question. Certainly, one could argue that college is a time that prepares you for life, and Fulmer wanted to treat them like men. On the other hand, these are his student-athletes, and Pat Summitt and Joe Paterno are famous for showing up at their player's classrooms occasionally, so he should also be responsible. All that I know is that the "Study Hall Six" didn't do their job, but it should still be a win over Wisconsin, depending on which UT team decides to show up...

Side Note: Shane Reveiz, walk on LB, brother of Nick Reveiz and son of long time NFL kicker Fuad Reveiz, will soon undergo surgery after doctors found an abnormal growth on his heart during an electrocardiogram test. Tennessee routinely gives these tests to its student-athletes, and the problem was found then. Please keep the Reveiz family in your thoughts, especially during this time of year. To the Reveiz family, if you're reading this, these 2 Volunteers at YMSWWC are with you during this time...

CBS or as I like to call it See BS, is the most watch network on Television. They have such riveting shows such as CSI (insert city name here), The Amazing Race & Survivor. While I detest all these shows it should be noted I detest most non-sports television with the exception of Hell's Kitchen because Chef Ramsey rocks.

Being the sports programming president must a stressful job I'm sure, why else would they choose to air seven Kentucky games this season, which is at least four more times than any other SEC team and five more times than Tennessee.

If anyone should be upset about this, that someone should be Billy Donovan and his bad back. After all since Kentucky's last trip to the final four, Florida has been to three final fours and captured back to back national titles as well. LSU has also been to a final four since the last time Kentucky has been there. Only Ashley Judd gives Kentucky more love than CBS and I would like to give something to Ashley Judd....but let's stick to the topic.

This season, CBS is choosing to send crews to seven Kentucky games, three Florida games, two Tennessee games and one game each for Alabama, Auburn, Arkansas, Georgia, Mississippi State and Vanderbilt.

The Vanderbilt, Georgia and Arkansas appearances, as well as one Florida and one Tennessee appearance, come against - guess who? - uh huh that's right Kentucky.

If memories earned you TV dates, more people would remember Florida's national championships than Kentucky's. If expectations sent the networks scrambling to video your bandwagon, Tennessee is the only SEC team that's a consensus pre-season top-10 pick. Trouble is, Kentucky has another edge this season, a new UK coach and that means a renewed enthusiasm for Kentucky basketball.

What do you do? Pearl's already done it.

You take off your shirt and paint your chest. You open your mouth and pour out your heart. You put out a must-see product that's more than ready for its close-up, and then you call out the network that prefers to live in the past much like the Alabama fans. Pearl should just keep sweating and screaming and coaching his shirt off. If he does his job, CBS will have to add two more Tennessee games.

So go ahead CBS, air more Kentucky games, ESPN will pick up the others like they have in the past. Somewhere down the road, in between the making of the new show CSI Narnia & David Letterman's top ten list of why CBS Sports sucks, a network official will start to wonder why viewers aren't watching as much basketball on CBS as they are on ESPN. Maybe then they'll get a clue.

GO VOLS!!!!!

So I profess on this day 12/20/07.

Trooper Taylor-Currently, he is the Receivers Coach for Tennessee and also Recruiting Coordinator. He is primarily responsible for a vast majority of the 4 and 5 star recruits that Tennessee has gotten over the years (the same recruits that Fulmer doesn't play until their junior year, but I digress). Honestly, will he run the same ol tired "pro-style" offense that Tennessee fans have grown to know and love, or will he add some wrinkles to the equation??? Also, he has been recently been offered the OC job by new Baylor coach Art Briles, but the problem is (and unfortunately I had to witness by living here in Houston) that Briles pretty much runs the offense, a la Steve Spurrier (or Les Miles). Will he stay with the program that has stuck by him??? Or will the program really even want him???

Greg Adkins-Offensive Line Coach, Tennessee. This guy is the one responsible for Tennessee's O-Line, the same line that kept Erik Ainge off his back all year. The O-Line has, in my opinion, the best unit on Tennessee's team the past few years. Like Taylor, what kind of offense would he run??? He has to my knowledge ever called a play on offense, but neither has Taylor, unless you count either one begging for the same ol' tired reverse with the pass option.

Kippy Brown-Currently, he is Wide Receivers coach for the Detroit Lions, working along side the "evil genius" Mike Martz. This move I would actually like for a few reasons. He is a Tennessee native, has a long coaching record in college and the pro ranks, as a position coach and OC. He has coached Pro Bowlers and college stars, too many to name here, but Carl Pickens at UT, Andre Johnson with the Houston Texans, Roy Williams and Mike Furrey with Detroit, and Mark Clayton at Louisville is just a few of the players he has coached. If I were Fulmer, with all of Brown's experience, this is where I would go.

Now for a couple of people "outside of the family":

Gus Malzahn-Ah yes, the guy that had one of the most exciting offenses that I had ever seen in high school, only to be spayed and neutered by Houston Nutt at Arkansas, currently he is the OC at Tulsa. This year, Tulsa had one of the most dynamic offenses in D-1A, ranking in the top 10 in a crap load of offensive categories. This hire would make things click, and Malzahn would bring an exciting brand of football to the Vols.

Mike Locksley-Offensive Coordinator, Illinois. The Fighting Zookers employ a Spread Option that could be adapted to UT. He has experience coaching in the SEC, having been a RB coach under Zook at Florida. While Zook gets all the credit for recruiting, I have had Illini fans tell me that Locksley is the guy that really goes after them. Plus, if he and Ron Zook can get guys on a national basis to come to Illinois with all of their "great facilities", imagine what Lockley can do.

This is an important decision. If the wrong decision is made, Fulmer will be toast in a few years. If the right choice is made, not only will Tennessee be just fine, but maybe a future head coach will be in the wings whenever Fulmer decides to leave (or get Johnny Majored)...

• POINSETTIA BOWL San Diego
  Dec. 20, 9 p.m. (ESPN) Utah (8-4) vs. Navy (8-4)
• Joel: Navy-Always gotta pick a Service Academy out of respect
• Me: Navy-Because they beat Notre Dame, UCLA can't say that

• NEW ORLEANS BOWL New Orleans
  Dec. 21, 8 p.m. (ESPN2) Florida Atlantic (7-5) vs. Memphis (7-5)
• Joel: Memphis-Total homer pick
• Me: Florida-Atlantic because I hate Tommy West

• PAPAJOHNS.COM BOWL Birmingham, Ala.
• Dec. 22, 1 p.m. (ESPN2) Cincinnati (9-3) vs. Southern Miss (7-5)
• Joel: Cincinnati-Brett Favre ain't walking through that door for Southern Miss
• Me: Cincinnati -One of the Big Least teams has to win

• NEW MEXICO BOWL Albuquerque, N.M.
  Dec. 22, 4:30 p.m. (ESPN) New Mexico (8-4) vs. Nevada (6-6)
• Joel: New Mexico-I got nothing for New Mexico
• Me: Honestly I could care less who ever Jol picked

• LAS VEGAS BOWL Las Vegas
  Dec. 22, 8 p.m. (ESPN) BYU (10-2) vs. UCLA (6-6)
• Joel: BYU-The Fightin' Polygamists
• Me: BYU- UCLA has no coach and Big Love is a good show

• HAWAII BOWL Honolulu, Hawaii
  Dec. 23, 8 p.m. (ESPN) East Carolina (7-5) vs. Boise State (10-2)
• Joel: Boise St.-Please not another cheerleader proposal
• Me: East Carolina-Why?Who the hell knows

• MOTOR CITY Detroit
  Dec. 26, 7:30 p.m. (ESPN) Central Michigan (8-5) vs. Purdue (7-5)
• Joel: Central Michigan-Why is Joe Tiller still a coach???
• Me: Purdue-Because Joe Tiller is the God of mediocre coaches.

• HOLIDAY BOWL San Diego
  Dec. 27, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Arizona State (10-2) vs. Texas (9-3)
• Joel: Texas-Longhorns returns to their San Diego winter home & I get to hear them bitch about it. I should pick against them
• Me: Texas-ASU has shown me nothing and their coach is a douche.

• CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL Orlando, Fla.
  Dec. 28, 5 p.m. (ESPN) Boston College (10-3) vs. Michigan State (7-5)
• Joel: Boston College-The Spartans have broken my heart & bank account too many times over the years
• Me: BC-Michigan State sucks

• TEXAS BOWL Houston
  Dec. 28, 8 p.m. (NFL Network) TCU (7-5) vs. Houston (8-4)
• Joel: TCU-Houston has no coach because Art Briles took the death sentence...I mean Baylor job...
• Me: TCU-Coolest Mascot name "The Horny Toads"

• EMERALD BOWL San Francisco
  Dec. 28, 8:30 p.m. (ESPN) Maryland (6-6) vs. Oregon State (8-4)
• Joel: Oregon St.-Love the nickname "Beavers", as in plural. Just keep the gay rams away
• Me: Maryland-Fattie Ralph always wins these types of games

• MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL Charlotte, N.C.
  Dec. 29, 1 p.m. (ESPN) UConn (9-3) vs. Wake Forest (8-4)
• Joel: Wake Forest-In a battle of Dunkin Donuts (UConn) vs. Krispy Kremes (WF), gotta go with the Southern favorite
• Me: Wake Forest-because they're playing a Big Least team

• LIBERTY BOWL Memphis, Tenn.
  Dec. 29, 4:30 p.m. (ESPN) Mississippi State (7-5) vs. UCF (10-3)
• Joel: Miss. St-More Cowbell
• Me: Miss State-Let the Crooming begin!

• ALAMO BOWL San Antonio
  Dec. 29, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Penn State (8-4) vs. Texas A&M (7-5)
• Joel: Penn St.-Does JoePa realize he is GREATLY overpaid???
• Me: Penn St.-Texas A&M's newest coach is to busy being an assistant for a losing NFL team.

• INDEPENDENCE BOWL Shreveport, La.
• Dec. 30, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Colorado (6-6) vs. Alabama (6-6)
• Joel: Colorado-Alabama won't be beaten by the Fightin Nutria of Louisiana-Monroe, but they can eat some in Shreveport. Nothin' says luvin' like nutria in the oven
• Me: This is bullshit!!! Joel & I had a rock, paper, scissors contest. The winner got to choose Colorado. He cheated so I'm forced to pick Alabama.

• ARMED FORCES BOWL Fort Worth, Texas
• Dec. 31, 12:30 p.m. (ESPN) Cal (6-6) vs. Air Force (9-3)
• Joel: Air Force-A motivated serviceman vs. an unmotivated hippie??? Gee, I wonder who to pick
• Me: Air Force-Because Cal seems to be the South Carolina of the PAC 10. (snicker)

• SUN BOWL El Paso, Texas
  Dec. 31, 2 p.m.(ESPN) USF (9-3) vs. Oregon (8-4)
• Joel: South Florida-Which team is worse right now???
• Me: Oregon-Ryan Leaf's younger brother is playing well, making Ryan look less douche like.

• HUMANITARIAN BOWL Boise, Idaho
  Dec. 31, 2 p.m. (ESPN2) Fresno State (8-4) vs. Georgia Tech (7-5)
• Joel: Fresno St.-Love the Bulldogs coach Craig Stadler, I mean Paul Teutel, I mean Pat Hill. Has one man reminded you of so many???
• Me: Fresno St-The only conference that is as bad as the Big Least is the ACC. And GT is coach-less.

• MUSIC CITY BOWL Nashville, Tenn.
  Dec. 31, 4 p.m. (ESPN) Florida State (7-5) vs. Kentucky (7-5)
• Joel: Kentucky-The cops will not hesitate to arrest a football player in Nashville. Ask the Titans. I love Fat Moe's in Nashville for burgers
• Me: KY-Bobby Bowden is almost ready to retire with good reason. Lately FSU sucks big time.

• INSIGHT BOWL Tempe, Ariz.
  Dec. 31, 5:30 p.m. (NFL Network) Indiana (7-5) vs. Oklahoma State (6-6)
• Joel: Indiana-Indy is a team of destiny. OSU has "America's Coach". I go with the Hoosiers. OSU did choke against Texas...AGAIN...
• Me: Indiana-Because Mike "I'm a man. I'm 40!!!!!!!" Gundy is lose on purpose. To honor Coach Heff.

• CHICK-FIL-A BOWL Atlanta
  Dec. 31, 7:30 p.m. (ESPN) Clemson (9-3) vs. Auburn (8-4)
• Joel: Clemson-This is the "Who will coach Arkansas" Bowl
• Me: Auburn-Since both coaches rejected Arkansas, Tommy T must prove he was right to stay.

• OUTBACK BOWL Tampa, Fla.
  Jan. 1, 11 a.m. (ESPN) Wisconsin (9-3) vs. Tennessee (9-4)
• Joel: God's Orange Team-Wake me up when this one is over. Wisconsin is boring to watch but Madison is great to visit
• Me: Tennessee-GO VOLS BITCHES! I hate cheddar cheese.

• COTTON BOWL Dallas
  Jan. 1, 11:30 a.m. (FOX) Missouri (11-2) vs. Arkansas (8-4)
• Joel: Arkansas-Big 12 has seen nothing like McFadden and Jones, but they have seen crappy QB's like Casey Dick. Advantage Hogs
• Me: Missouri-Arkansas still might be coach-less. Miss. got the shaft.

• GATOR BOWL Jacksonville, Fla.
• Jan. 1, Noon (CBS) Virginia (9-3) vs. Texas Tech (8-4)
• Joel: Texas Tech-I love the pass 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th options of Tech. Won't win titles but is exciting to watch
• Me: TT-Virginia it's back to the reality that you suck.

• CAPITAL ONE Orlando, Fla.
  Jan. 1, 1 p.m. (ABC) Michigan (8-4) vs. Florida (9-3)
• Joel: Florida-Michigan's defense was horrible right??? Tebow will account for 10 TD's
• Me: Florida-Teabag Tebow could beat Appy State blindfolded.

• ROSE BOWL Pasadena, Calif.
  Jan. 1, 4:30 p.m. (ABC) USC (10-2) vs. Illinois (9-3)
• Joel: USC-Fightin Zookers are still young. Plus we get to see the USC Song Girls
• Me: USC-I like the Fighting Zookers but USC is just to damn strong.

• SUGAR New Orleans
  Jan. 1, 8:30 p.m. (FOX) Hawaii (12-0) vs. Georgia (10-2)
• Joel: Georgia-The Bulldogs are hot right now. This will be closer than people think, I think
• Me: Georgia-I think Joel is high. Georgia will beat this team so bad, they'll forced to put up a UGA statue in Honolulu.

• FIESTA BOWL Glendale, Ariz.
• Jan. 2, 8:00 p.m. (FOX) West Virginia (10-2) vs. Oklahoma (11-2)
• Joel: Oklahoma-Great passing team (OU) vs. Berlin Wall defense (WVU). I pick Sooners
• Me: Boomer Sooners Baby! This lose will be so bad that White and Slaton will go to the NFL early.

• ORANGE BOWL Miami
  Jan. 3, 8 p.m. (FOX) Kansas (11-1) vs. Virginia Tech (11-2)
• Joel: Va. Tech-Mangino will be the next spokesman for Nutra System
• Me: Kansas-Beemer sucks in bowl game, especially ones he should win.

• INTERNATIONAL BOWL Toronto
• Jan. 5, Noon (ESPN2) Rutgers (7-5) vs. Ball State (7-5)
• Joel: Rutgers-Canada has a bowl now??? What, was no hockey game available that day???
• Me: First I want to personally thank the NFL Network making this game available to only 1/3 of the population. It saves a lot of people of suffering though another Big Least disappointment. Oh yeah Ball State...Free Text books and David Letterman.

• GMAC BOWL Mobile, Ala.
• Jan. 6, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Tulsa (9-4) vs. Bowling Green (8-4)
• Joel: Tulsa-I got nothing for this one
• Me: Tulsa-They have a big time running back who will do well in the pros.

• BCS TITLE GAME New Orleans
  Jan. 7, 8 p.m. (FOX) Ohio State (11-1) vs. LSU (11-2)
• Joel: LSU-Ask OU in 2003 how crazy it will be in the Superdome. i've been to both Ohio Stadium and Tiger Stadium and while both are loud, LSU fan is a different breed of fan altogether. They're fun and potentially violent at the same time. Buckeye fan has not seen anything like it. If you think it will be hostile, it will be worse. Not even Les Miles and his Pope hat can screw this one up. Or can he???
• Me: LSU-Ohio State thought last year was bad, wait till they play this team. Enough said!

So I profess on this day 12/07/07

TtT

That personality that got let out of its cage at the 2007 Cocktail Party , but who was chained to a wall against Tennessee? That's who I'm talkin' about- Georgia Sports Blog

Mississippi State and Louisiana Monroe are BCS worthy- Football Diet

We're not snobs, we're just better than you: The All-SEC Team- secsports.com.... BTW, one person on this list has a book written about him.  Even if you can't stand Ole Miss, or are a fan of an inferior conference, check it out.  Mr. Oher, buy your sister and mama something from Tiffany when you're at NFL draft headquarters, whether it's this year or next.

The Official Holiday of the Idiot Brigade, a holy day in New Orleans, and a happy day for Southern girls, no matter where they are.

(Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)
 

Excuse me while I begin this post with some insightful commentary:

YAHHHHHHH-FUCKING-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

When my Saturday morning started in lovely Fayetteville, NC, I heard from the second prettiest bottle blonde at ESPN that Coach Le$ had run off to Michigan. As far as I was concerned, the booster jet was heading from Ann Arbor, and prepared to carry off my crazy, balls-for-brains coach.  After the game, Bo Pelini was headed to the frozen plains of Nebraska with a legend looking over his shoulder, to try to make Cornhusker football relevant again. (Thank you and good luck with that, Coach Pelini. Heck, at least Alabama's legend is dead- as far as we know). My defense was falling apart, everyone held together with ace bandages, leg braces, and local injections.  The much maligned Matt Flynn was out, but his backup was not too shabby.  The-running-back-by-committee gave me hope. All that was left to do was see if the seniors could bounce back from the Boot Debacle of 2007, and hold it together for sixty more minutes until it was time for a well-deserved month of healing and lifting.

Then I went to drink. (Actually, I began my morning with bacon and jello shots. Fabulous).

I began Saturday evening slightly inebriated as I spent the afternoon watching the ACC Championship Game (ya'll need to show up for those sorts of games. No wonder no one takes your conference teams seriously for bowls, with the exception of your champion).  I saw the angry press conference by Coach Le$.  Heck, I was fired up by his five minutes of angry posturing. Al Pacino will pattern some future overacting job on that press conference. Then I watched the SEC Championship (the Original and Still The Best), and was happy that my Tigers bounced back, limping and all, with another great performance from Jacob Hester, and a very nice game by Ryan "Too Good to Be Thrown Off the Team" Perrilloux.  At about 8 pm, I was happy that the boys were heading to the Sugar Bowl.

And then all hell broke loose.  I watched Missouri get slapped around by one the of other best two loss teams in America, and receieved a text stating something I couldn't believe: West Virginia had lost to Pitt. (Glad I gave away my tickets to that one).  I shrieked happily, possibly breaking glass in the bar I was at, and began banter with an Ohio State fan, and asking my West Virginia people if they had refundable tickets (sorry guys, but I know ya'll were positively overjoyed at the LSU and Ar-Kansas game.  An Arkansas blog was flooded by grateful fans.  Never buy your tickets before the first Sunday in December. The football goddesses do not appreciate hubris).  So I figured the BCS title game would be Virginia Tech or Georgia (herereinafter known as "Merlot") and The Sweatervests. I had no thought that my Tigers, left for dead by the Darren McFadden Experience, could leapfrog the four teams ahead of us.

But G*d, there are times I love being absolutely totally wrong. The Louisiana State University Fighting Tigers, the Bayou Bengals, who are undoubtedly someone's darlings, whether it be the media's or the coaches, are playing for the BCS title.  And Coach Le$ Mile$, one of my favorite blue eyed nutjobs:

(Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)

who met his wife at Ann Arbor, who w