I have been released from the prison in which my heart and soul were held for so many months.  I knew I was getting stronger as the days went by, as the relapses were slowly becoming a thing of the past... 

The US guy will always have a piece of my heart.  I cherish every moment we had together as a couple, and when I look back at the plans we made, I even feel a smile slowly crawl across my face, as the man I knew him to be is my great love, I feel, and those plans for our future will always be special to me.  However, the man he is today no longer holds me or my heart captive.  The man he is today is not my great love.  For over 10 months now, I have been asking anyone who may have an the answers, how will I know when I have moved on from the agony of sheer heartbreak?  The most popular answer was simply, "one morning you will wake up and you will just feel it...."  Naturally, I thought anyone who muttered those words were way off, as that just seemed too simple.

I was wrong, as this morning, it happened....

To me.

Finally.

I am still saddened by the loss of our love, and pained for reasons only him and I know....but I can finally say with the utmost sincerity.....

That little red bitch in my chest is healing.

And right now, this feeling is better then any orgasm could ever bring me....

Even the multiple ones.

To that, I not only say amen, but I also officially reclaim my mountains back from him.

The article is pretty much about how different size churches have different advantages and disadvantages. I thought some of the things written where pretty insightfull.

Paraphrasing::

-There is increasing complexity as a church increases in size.

-There is a change in responsibility from lay staff to professional, the larger the church gets.

-As churches increase there needs to be increase intentionality, especially with communication.

-quality of production increases the larger churches get 

'In smaller churches worship is based mainly on horizontal relationships with the other people present. The musical offerings of singers who are un-gifted are nonetheless appreciated because "we all know them" and they are members of our fellowship. But the larger the church the more worship is based on the "vertical;" relationship-on a sense of transcendence. If an outsider comes in who doesn't know the musicians, then mediocre quality of production is distracting from their worship of God. (They don't have a relationship with the musicians, which off-sets the lack of giftedness.) So, the larger the church, the more the music becomes an attractor on its own. '

I think all relationships are really important... in one way or another you and that person are learning and building on one another. The people you hang out with whether you like it or not shape your life.
I can remember when i was younger and my dad noticed my friends weren't the most possitively influencial people to be hanging out with dad would always say, "whose influencing who?"
and if i seriously evaluated and the answer was them influencing me in a unhealthy way, even slightly, i would make some changes... sometimes finding new friends all together. I love surrounding myself with people that make me better. There are some people (Brad Young) i just want to be with 24/7 because i want so badly what they have. i want their passion for God and their love for people. I want their patience and kindness. I want their good hearted spirit to rub off on me.

Anyways, i guess i am just telling you to choose your friends wisely. it is never too late to find people that make you a BETTER person. You will be rewarded the rest of your life for it.

And on top of that, make God your closest friend, there's nothing like letting the perfect creator and lover of all rub off on you. The more time you spend with Him, the more like Him you become.

Chronic illness can have an effect on even the strongest relationships...So Alph and I are going through some tough times right now...causing me to be too depressed to write...anyway, thanks for still checking in and I will be back soon I hope....

如果我爱上你的笑容 If I fell in love with your smile
要怎麼收藏要怎麼拥有 How could I collect or own it?
如果你快乐不是为我 If your happiness is not because of me
会不会放手其实才是拥有 One never truly owns something unless one knows how to let go

当一阵风吹来风筝飞上天空 When a gust of wind blows the kite flies up into the sky
为了你而祈祷而祝福而感动 I'll pray for you, wish you the best, be touched by you
终於你身影 消失在人海尽头 When your figure disappears into the crowd of people
才发现 笑著哭 最痛 Then I'll realise that smiling while crying is the most painful

那天你和我那个山丘 That day, both of us, that hill
那样地谈著那一天的话 Talking about that day's events
那样的回忆那麼足够 Those kind of memories are good enough
足够我天天都品嚐著寂寞 Good enough for me to (not mind) tasting loneliness everyday

(modified and translated badly from 知足 by 五月天）

(I am not a professional translator so this translation sucks and yes, part of the lyrics are wrong cause (i)I ripped them off somewhere (ii)I changed some parts of them anyway).

I came upon a flower in the woods, and it was so perfect and full of life that I fell in love with it and I wanted to own it and bring it home with me.
But I knew that if I brought it with me, it would wither.
So I left it growing where it was, content with only the memories to bring home in my heart.

I met a man, and he was so lovable and so perfect and so inspiring, and we fell in love.
I saw him hard at work on his hobby and I saw the kind of passion that wanted to have but I never had, and I loved him even more and wanted to stay with him forever.
But I knew that if I could not be with him for practical reasons, and I also knew that if I changed him and made him make a commitment to me, he would not be the man that I fell in love with, the man with the burning passion and total dedication to his hobbies.
So I will leave him as he is, without changing any part of him, and wish him the best in whatever he does, and everyday I shall pray that he succeeds in his dreams and projects and that he is happy.
Take nothing but memories
Leave nothing but footsteps.

一人一半 感情不散 Each person takes half, we'll never be separated
已經找到愛 為何要離開 Have already found love, why must leave?
(from the theme song 一人一半 of the Royston Tan movie 881).

This post is for X.
X, if you ever need me for any reason, just contact me and I will be there for you.

Of course you still remember Special Hopia, special Siopao, after all, it is my last post. I submitted it because I thought it was very cute and inspiring plus I think it is pretty obvious I am so in love with Po. I intended that it be a literary essay, but I learned that it was to be printed as a column, because after I edited it, it turned out that they find it very political, which fits the opinion page perfectly. The thing is, early this academic year, I already told the people in the publication that I did not want to have and continue my column [the name of my column for the past years have been Prinsesa's Anatomy, same as my blog, FYI]. It was funny because when I saw the paper I submitted, the words column po ito, sori! [this is column material sorry!] plus a smiley because they already know I did not want to have a column, but as it turns out, I still have a column. Oh well, still that's very cute. Imagine Kung Fu Panda as a column that highlights politics, that's so cool! Even though it just happened by accident, "I'm blinded by its awesomeness".

The next post Bleeding Love is also an accident. It was not supposed to be in the paper because one, I did not submit it and two, that post is very personal. But since Special Hopia, Special Siopao cannot make it as a literary essay, they had to find one, and it turned out that they liked Bleeding Love when they read it here. I think they find the conversation between my man and the Red Cross personnel very hilarious. If you haven't read that I think you should, you can still find it here. It's very funny. Last night, I told my man that Bleeding Love will be published and I think he was as surprised as I am. Oh well. I think we are the official love team of the university now with that post, though he doesn't go there.

I don't know how all of you can see the paper. Maybe I can scan it and post it! Hmm... I don't know. I'd like you to see the illustration that accompany Bleeding Love. It's very good!

What I really like about me being accidentally in print is the fact that I know for sure that I'd be able to erach out to more people, aside from you wonderful people who read my blog. See, I am amazed by the power of words to make people learn, and feel, and experience even the things outside their reality. I guess, I am just very happy to be able to do and share all this that I write, uh, I mean, type.

Think about that idea just for a minute.  When the lesson that I have had is that I needed to let go of or leave a relationship, or the person has left me, the lesson of love was that of lost love, of love unrequited, or love that was not to be anymore.  Or, love that needed to be let go of, to see how it needed to move in a new direction.  When the lesson has been one of letting go of someone, or a situation, unless I have let go in love, then I have found myself resentful, bitter, angry, and hostile.  So, again, a lesson in love.  When the lesson was how to go on after the death of a loved one, the lesson was one of love, because the level of grief that I experienced was, and is, directly related to how much I loved that person.  Lessons of love- all of them.

At first thought, maybe that is hard to believe.  I remember when I learned from the person whom created Choice Theory, Dr. William Glasser, which I FIRMLY believe in, first told me that every human problem is a relationship problem.  WHAT?  EVERY one?  At first, it seemed like that could not be possible.  What if the problem was about moving to a new location?  Related to a person that we are going toward or away from.  Problem with a job?  Related to our relationships with persons in the workplace.  Problem with our children's behavior?  Relationships.  It fits.

So, I firmly believe the same about lessons.  Whether we see ourselves as full of love all of the time, or some of the time, love is eternal and universal, and is not just about how we connect with those closest to us, or how we are moved by a romantic movie or sad song.  It is a feeling that fills us down to our soul, and it permeates everything that we say, do, think, believe......... every prayer, every action, every dream, every thought, every feeling.  It is ALWAYS about the love.  Faith, truth, hope, charity, dreaming, loss, grief, humour- ALL connected to love.

Try it on for size; see how much love permeates your life.  And then let me know, I would LOVE to hear about it......

I know men say that they don't like the High maintenance women, but it sure did not look at it last night, or any other night as a matter of fact. Its usually the ones who are all decked out , from head to toe who usually get all the attention, from the VIP service in the club from free cover, to comped drinks from either the men or bartenders. Don't get me wrong on occasion I like to get all dressed up and look purdy but 99.9 percent of the time I will opt to go to a low key bar such as the Green Eye Lounge, Estelles, Evil Olive, or any local bar in Lincoln Park. I would rather opt for ,for my jeans, gym shoes, wife-beater, and ponytail. Im all about comfort maybe its because I don't have the time to sit there and obsess over my looks.

So High Maintenance Vs Low Maintenance . Who wins?

I am sad, very sad...

Okay, listen up because I'm only going to go through this once.

1) I never went to Canada.

2) I never met Nicky/Jo/Cooper.

3) I found out along with the rest of you that he was a woman two nights ago.

4) I had an online relationship with this person.

5) We decided to blog that we had met because frankly, it made us feel closer until a time came that we could meet for real. Yes, this was kind of pathetic on my part. And hindsight being what it is, also a mistake.

6) I know that scandals of this sort are fun for everyone to pick apart, but please remember that I'm a real person with a real life, and I'm just as much a victim in all this as anyone else.

7) I only got my life back on track two weeks ago after everything ended with Nicky/Jo/Cooper and I will thank you all to realize how difficult it was for me to first acknowledge that someone I loved was lying to me, and then had to go a full seven months before I would ever learn the truth.

I trimmed back the personal entries on my blog because my blog is a hobby and I will not have someone pick it apart for their own amusement at the risk of my privacy.

Thank you.
Will

I did it!!! i manage to change myself. I can be a better person!!!! Thanks to the lord. Anything is possible if you want it to be. Don't be ashamed of changing. Don't be ashamed of improving yourself. Because at the end of the day... you are becoming a better person as a whole.

Yesterday, it was hard to begin. But whhat i realized is that i become a more calm person.

So, today, i want to learn to be a more lovong person.

5 actions for a successful relationship
(by Meditation for Women)

Action 1 - KINDNESS TO SELF AND OTHERS
Do you go thru the day spending much of your thinking time judging yourself or others?, Or do you make the spiritual attribute of kindness to yourself and others, including your partner, your highest priority?

People in successful relationship treat themselves and their partners with kindness - kind words, kind actions, kind looks, kind listening, and kind thoughts. It is far more important to be kind than to control their partner with anger, judgement, criticism, irritation, blame, resistance or withdrawal.

Action 2 -  PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR FEELINGS
Do not make your partner responsible for your feelings. When you feel angry, hurt, anxious, depressed, resedntlful, irritated, guilty, or shamed - look within your own thoughtsand behaviour that may be causing your painful feeling.

Learn how to manage your own feelings without dumping your upset to your partner. When you can't manage your own feelings, get the help you need rather than dump anger, blame, anxiety or depression onto your partner.

Action 3 - ORGANIZATIONAL RESPONSIBILITY
Take responsibility for managing your own time and space in ways that work for yourself and your partner. Make sure you have enough time with each other to talk, learn, resolve conflict, play and make love. Than, make sure you have time with your children, time for chores, time for work and time for relaxation.

Strive to make your living space and environment pleasant for both of you rather than either of you complying, controlling, or resisting. Because your highest priority is kindness to yourself and to each other.

Action 4 - FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
Successful couples make sure that they not only earn enough o support themselves, but they learn how to manage their money in ways that do not create stress for themselves or their partner. Have a mutual understanding of what to do with your money.

Action 5 - HEALTH AND WELL-BEING
When 2 people care deeply about themselves and each other, they strive to take care of their physical health. Loving partners do not behave in ways that cause their partner to fear for their wellbeing.

Therefore - successful relationships don't just happen. They are the result of each person taking physical, emotional, financial, organizational, and spiritual responsibility within their relationship.

This not only apply to you and your husband or boyfriend. It must also apply to your everyday life - you must also apply it in relationship with your parents, your siblings, friends, and also working colleagues.

Happy Sunday :-)

I have a feeling this post will probably not make me very popular but at the same time, my regular readers know that I call it as I see it without mincing or softening words.  There is a phenomenon here in the Kingdom which I will refer to as the Prince-a$$ syndrome.  In the States one may make references to “beating or one-upping the Joneses’” whereas here so many young women want to be viewed like Princesses.  What does this mean?  In many cases these are young women who have no idea about learning values and responsibility.  Their main goal in life is to look beautiful, be perfectly groomed and wearing the latest fashions as well as sporting the recent trend in mobiles, handbags and other accessories.  Now there is certainly nothing wrong in this if a parent is able to afford it.  However what I object to is where I see families who should be allocating resources towards more necessary and needed items instead ensuring that their daughters (and the family) are saving face by having the young women maintain the image of wealth and prosperity.  These same young women usually have little to no chores to perform and therefore not learning responsibility or values.  When not with their friends they spend their spare time primping, playing on the internet usually with MSN messenger or watching music videos or Lebanese or Egyptian soap operas.

I feel like the culture makes these young women mature too quickly; mature too quickly in the sense they are allowed to wear clothes which are advanced for their age.  These are typically clothes which highlight and accentuate cleavage and normally accompanied by tight fitted jeans.  Of course the young women will also put on full make up, nail polish and perfume.  The “natural carefree” look of simply jeans and a t-shirt or other casual top is not adapted here.  It is unlikely one of the Prince-a$$ girls would be seen in such a look.

Part of where I have a conflict with this aspect of the culture is that I feel the look which is portrayed is contradictory to Islam as well.  Throughout the Quran, Islam promotes modesty.  It does not say a woman should be unattractive; in fact she is encouraged to be attractive to her husband and family.  But I wonder if the Prince-a$$ girls pass muster here?

From ScienceDaily:

Frequent Family Meals Might Reduce Teen Substance Abuse

ScienceDaily (July 25, 2008)

Parents who have regular meals with their adolescent children might help lessen the chances they will start drinking or smoking later in their teen years, according to new research.

Past studies have shown that family meals provide many benefits, including offering a venue for parents to communicate with their adolescents about their daily activities, as well as monitor their moods and whereabouts.

In the new study, researchers noted benefits in families that ate five or more meals together each week, and found that about 60 percent of the participants did so.

“Sixty percent having regular family meals is about what we would expect for middle school students,” said lead author Marla Eisenberg of the Division of Adolescent Health and Medicine at the University of Minnesota. “The percentage is lower among high school students, who are more likely to have afterschool activities or more freedom to spend time away from home.”

Eisenberg and her colleagues examined data from 806 Minnesota adolescents (45.4 percent boys and 54.6 percent girls). They first surveyed the youth in school in 1998-1999 (at about age 13) and asked how often in the past week their family ate together and about their use of marijuana, cigarettes and alcohol. They followed up with a second survey by mail five years later.

In the second survey, girls who had reported five or more family meals per week had significantly less substance use than did the females who did not have regular family meals. The girls who had regular meals had about half the odds of substance use.

However, boys showed no significant difference in substance use between those who had regular family meals and those who did not.

“Unfortunately we don’t really know why we see this benefit for girls and not boys,” Eisenberg said. “There is some evidence that girls and boys communicate and interact differently with their families, so it’s possible that the conversations about behavioral expectations or the subtle ‘checking in’ that can happen during shared meals might be understood differently by girls and boys.”

Jeanie Alter is program manager and lead evaluator of the Indiana Prevention Resource Center at Indiana University’s School or Health, Physical Education, and Recreation. She agreed that regular family meals could benefit teens.

“Some of the factors related to substance use in teens are linked to family conflict,” Alter said. “So, if you have a kid that is sharing that much time with his or her family, it would suggest they have better family relationships, more protective factors and fewer risk factors.”

Eisenberg said that despite the “many challenges of bringing a family together every day, we would encourage parents to make family meals part of their routine as often as they can.”

---

Journal reference:

1. Eisenberg et al. Family Meals and Substance Use: Is There a Long-Term Protective Association? Journal of Adolescent Health, 2008; 43 (2): 151 DOI: 10.1016/j.jadohealth.2008.01.019

Adapted from materials provided by Center For The Advancement Of Health.

You have to admit that 99% of the time an attraction is based on the physical appearance first and then comes the personality, beliefs, likes and dislikes, things in common or not in common.  This is why I've been looking around lately to see which guy sparks my interest and which guys do not so that I know.   I'm not sure why I need to know this but I guess is someone asks I can tell them. LOL!

Of course lately it's all the wrong guys showing interest in me...no one I'd want to date!  It's nice to know that someone has interest but if it's all the wrong guys that stinks as well.  It leaves you wondering if the guys I'd be interested in...wouldn't be interested in me?  Well, we shall see as time goes on.

I had a nice night last night going out SingleChildhoodFriend for her brothers birthday w/ all of his friends.  It was completely enjoyable and I didn't think about anything else besides the fun I was having all night (which is a plus).

I was a little anxious for 10-15 mins when we first got there but then I started to feel much better.  I know that I do it to myself, I just can't help it.

Anyway, I'm out again tonight to visit some other friends so that is also a plus!  Two fun nights out in a row - yipee!  If I can find somewhere to be tomorrow I'll go somewhere then as well!  Anything to be busy and out of the house and keep my mind occupied!

Here are simple twelve steps for each and every black woman who wishes to remain young and vibrant:

1. You must began accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. The reason for this is so that you can begin to allow him to guide and comfort you, no matter how drastic things may seem.

2. You must thank the Lord for each and every day you wake up.

Remember that there were many who did not wake up and will never get another chance to enjoy their lives.

3. Make a decision to become virtuous.

One of the big flaws among black women, is because of shame of stigma or a bad reputation. For instance, your family or the church may know some bad things you did in your past and this makes you feel like your life is ruined and you will never be clean, simply because of their gossip. You may have given your virginity to a man you did not marry or possibly you were molested or even raped by a relative. You still must realize that Jesus Christ died for all of what scarred you and you are not scarred for life. It does not matter what people know about you. Staying in God's Word helps you with this solution. Staying in God's Word helps you not to focus on people and things of this world, so you will not yield to so much resentment of yourself and others.

4. You must stop concentrating who does not like you. This is a big problem in being a part of the black race. Some people who do not know Jesus Christ or may even claim to know him may not like you, because of their own personal hangups and prejudices about being black or whatever race they may be.

5. Be careful of the company you keep. Many times, the people we associate with get in the way of our relationship with God and believe or not, this can make us feel old and weary.

6. Concentrate on God, rather than concentrating on people who worry you, because of harassment. Believe me this causes you to age, especially if these people are related to you.

7. Find something fun you enjoy doing. There are so many things in life that can make you happy. Staying young keeps you vibrant. You can create art, walk or jog everyday, feed the homeless or even sew.

8. Learn to pray about each and every situation in your life. For example, you could have a troubled marriage or relationship and you don't know how to get out of it. Keep praying and talking to God and allow him to change your situation.

9. Eat healthy foods. Many times when we get sick, we always blame it on hereditary, rather than acknowledging that foods effect our bodies and even our minds and souls. If we are not healthy, we cannot even communicate with each other, properly. Your intake of food is very important and just because you may be unhealthy or have an ill diagnosis does not mean you cannot be healthy. All you have to do is make a decision and stick to it. You can eat a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables which is a good start.

10. Learn to pray for your enemies. Many times, we age because we stress over our neighbors and relatives who have gossipped about us or some woman who may have took your man. Do not get revenge, learn to pray for the person, so you do not block your blessings from God.

11. Exercise on a daily basis. Even if you do not have the funds to join a health club, begin jogging in place or do push ups. Don't forget to vacuum, first, so your allergies will not get started or-you can just take take a stroll or jog through a safe neighborhood.

12. Do not stress over lack of money. A lot of black women age, because they stress over bills and not having enough food to feed their children. Do not stress, pray and ask God for a solution. If you cannot find or even remain on a job, there are so many low cost businesses you can start on the internet.

www.40KWealth.info

Although, you may not be famous you can still make the same type of money as Mega Ministries. All you have to do is stay with us and we are going to show you are way to make thousands of dollars on a weekly or even daily basis. God Bless.

Visit Wealth Kingdom Network Now!

If you wish to hear more about this article or any of our other topics as such, subscribe to our RSS Feed, which is located on the side bar on our home page of this blog. Peace.

We were walking. Robbie likes to do that a lot. One night, we walked our small sleeping town until the early hours of the morning. It was like having the entire downtown streets to ourselves, the traffic lights turned for the nonexistent cars, and we roamed mildly tyrannically beneath a dark canvas speckled with small silvery white dots and dust. We had met up for lunch earlier that day –at a Thai restaurant that is a hole in the wall, lonely, connected to some Asian nail place and a vacant area. That’s when he told me. Later that evening as we were walking, he gave me more details, and most importantly, shared his fear of his parents finding out along with his overwhelming realization that he cared deeply for the aforementioned.

“You know?” he pondered aloud.

“Hmm?”

“I remember the first time that I told him that I loved him,” he reminisced, “It’s crazy because I really do. I really care for the guy.”

I listened like an attentive girlfriend in anticipation for some great detailed love story unraveling off of her girlfriend’s tongue. I will confess that I did a little giggling. Robbie has always been so insecure and uncertain about himself. He’s the type of guy that you worry about –because he’s so nice and accommodating. When he was dating that girl, I worried that he would end up marrying her simply because he had lacked so much confidence in the past. I was fearful that he would sell himself so short that he would believe that nobody else would take an interest in him. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that he was finally back on the dating market. Now, I’m just happy for him.

“You know what?” Robbie said on the other end of the telephone.

“What?”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” he began, “And I can talk to you about anything.”

I laughed, “Yeah, I know.”

His voice was serious yet gentle as always, “I mean, I can really tell you anything. And I think that, I’ve realized that I really love you. I love you.”

My eyes blurred momentarily and I smiled, “Aww, I love you too!”

“I just wanted to tell you that.”

It’s odd to have a close friend who knows me –again. I had almost forgotten what it feels like. I’ve grown so accustomed to reclusiveness and all that it entails that the more updated version of our friendship brings me slight happiness that I cannot completely fathom.

Due to the fact that tuition has reached a point of ridiculousness (let’s be frank, what school hasn’t?), I’ve been entertaining the idea of returning to the University of Kentucky for my last year and one semester as an undergrad. Once again, it would be a huge change in my life, having lived at home for almost two years, content in commuting and remaining anti-social on my racist predominantly southern white Baptist campus.

“Hey, we should get an apartment together.”

Robbie had proposed this two months ago at the beginning of the summer. I had given it little thought, but now that I am thinking about transferring back, it’s been on my mind. We’re so comfortable around each other and I can talk to him –I mean really talk to him, none of this how was your day, fine thank you shit. He’s real and he’s on that level of understanding, having been raised in the same small hometown. Just like everything, there are numerous pros and cons. But the one that bothers me the most is the fact that I’m a very private person. I enjoy silence and solitude. I probably take life a little too seriously, and I worry that I may have deep remorse in moving in with him. I know I’m hard to live with. Scratch that, I am hard to get along with, and I despise the thought of being constantly accessible –socially. I have to decide soon, so I must get over, around, or back away from this obstacle. No pressure, people.

“It would be tons of fun,” he said excitedly, “I really hope it works out.”

Yes, it would be nice if life worked out so fluidly. It would even be nicer if I knew what I was going to do after I graduate. Oh well, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

LINK to the song if the youtube video gets taken down. I'm really liking the beat - it has the Akon feel and it's also showcasing the return of Whitney's strong voice. Crack is whack, yall, crack is whack.

Seriously - Whitney and Britney need to have a comeback tour - the I'm not as hot but at least I'm sober tour. Sell outs across the globe.

In other news, my birthday bar crawl went well. No one from the law school showed up except for my roommate [surprise, surprise, I don't like them very much and apparently they don't like me either]. On my actual birthday, the boy that I've liked for the past couple of months took me out to dinner. It was pretty laid back and I had a lot of fun and ended up spending the night at his place.

He came out to the bar crawl later this week and we, again, ended back at his place. However, contrary to everything that I do, I didn't even take my pants off. I don't know if I'm just not physically attracted to him [every guy I've slept with has had a nice body...his is average] in that I want to tear your pants off even when I'm not drunk kind of way, or if I'm scared that if we do anything and the sex ends up being bad, that I'd lose interest. He's a great guy, and contrary to my past behavior, I'm really trying to keep the physical out of the forefront of this relationship.

Guy #1 [see this post] was out of town for work, so maybe we'll see each other some time this weekend, or early next week. Guy #2 [same post] was out of town for his nephew's birth [on my birthday!!] and should be back ...

You know, I was just in the shower when the song "Who Will Save Your Soul" by Jewel came on.  I have spoken about this song before.  But it struck me a little differently this time.  W11kp, stay with me here, because you are part of this inspiration.

Many of us in our "blogging family" are spiritual but not religious.  Some of us are very deeply Christian, we have some Muslims, and I imagine some Jewish members.. probably a spattering of other religions too.  

It really struck me a while back when W11kp commented that religious posts just turn her off.  That she really feels uncomfortable with them.  I can totally understand that.  Really, I can.  But I look at her life.  She is not perfect in any means, but she truly lives a "godly" life.  Anyone who looks at the compassion in her photographs can see it.  The faces of the elderly, the glimmers of life in their eyes - magical.  The love and joy she writes about her grand nieces and nephews with who she takes an active role in their lives, and the beautiful way she sees our world and helps others to see it.  That is why people are drawn to her blog.  Because although sometimes a bit insane, she is a positive light and lives in a way that we can all admire and respect.

Sanityfound too has a hard time with her faith.  Life has tested her over and over again.  She is learning to have faith in God of her understanding but not one of traditional teachings.  She too lives a life of goodness, compassion and love.  She doesn't make a fanfare about needing to be saved, she makes herself a vessel to be used in any way God sees fit.  She holds her hands out to others when they need support or help, or even for just a hug.  Does this make her less than someone who attends church every week like clockwork but does none of these things?

Then you have our friend Lindsey, who truly to my mind lives by the teachings of Jesus in everything she does and says.  She may not "look" the part.  But that doesn't matter.  The point is, that her actions, her words, and who she is says it all without needing to be in the "cookie-cutter" image.  Does the fact she has tattoos and piercings and her hair dyed a rainbow of colors of any given moment take away from the truth of her soul?  Does it make her less of a godly and positive inspirational person because of it?  

There is a line in the song Who will save your soul that says:

"So we pray to as many different God's as there are flowers
But we call religion our friend
We're so worried about saving our souls
Afraid that God will take His toll
That we forget to begin"

Sadly, how many "believers" does that describe?  This isn't about what's "seen to be done" folks.  Its what you actually do and who you are that counts.  

At the end of the day, I don't believe its who you pray to (if you pray at all) or what you believe in.  What matters is that you leave the world in a better place than you found it in.  That your life was positive and helped others along the way.  That you cared, gave love, compassion and respect to your fellow inhabitants of our world.  I think that is what truly counts.......

Why am I here? No funny yarns, go have a read here and you will know exactly why I am here not there, why it is that I blog... the why's have been answered in full...

This week instead of keeping my pants up I have been travelling to distant lands in my head transported with words and photos of glorious places and history. Join me in my heaven and have a read through Ilegirl's recount of her trip to Europe (yeah ok I'm still jealous!): 2 July, 3 July, 4 July, 5 July, 6 July, 7 July, 8 July... to be continued... please (pretty please) Why Travel?

Ah her travels bring it all back to me, I remember things as I read through each post that goes before my eyes like a distant dream only to go "Ah back in the day". Yeah I am that old! Time time time that word scares me recently, like I said just a moment ago... don't ask! We take time for granted, we don't remember that it is more how we soar than quack that counts. Sometimes I guess we just forget to live, we forget to experience each and everything fully, our senses are almost dulled by the same old familiar tune. Kick the butt into action and get a haircut, eat a lollipop and really savour the fizzy stuff in the middle, steal a flower from your neighbours garden... desire and live! Cut the snakes , live and be true!

Now there is one thing that I really can't stand in life and that is when you are just starting to formulate your dream and an Asshat comes along and literally tries their level best to destroy the positive energy. Every time that happens it makes me want to go insane on their asses and tell them a little bit about counting their blessings and not polluting the universe with their lack of respect. Hmm perhaps they just wrote the book of Ignorance?

Through those rainy patches in our lives we get to realise our own identities but the one thing we mustn't forget is the fact that it takes courage to be who we really are. It is far easier to morph into what society believes we should be than to just be ourselves.

Perhaps (I love that word) everyone is getting some or rather perhaps no one is? I don't know and I am not going to answer that one either. Sex is the big topic of the week for sure from sleeping in the nude (which is sexy) to confusion within the relationship and the biggest sex organ... yip it gets even more interesting when you add this to the mix. Ok well don't go all monster on me ok, I'm in Africa and poor.

I really should study some more but alas I am sitting here hmm. I wish we were born with unlimited knowledge but it isn't the all powerful that we sometimes believe it to be. Our intellect will only get us so far, maybe we just need to be a different kind of student?

Guess there is a lot I've come to realise along with Amber, Glaize, Kwoneshe2 and soon to be YOU! (Yeah lazy tagging again I blame it on time wasting admiring Star Wars Art for I don't watch TV though I hear that True Blood is good *shrug*)

To DM's kids Angie, Katie, Rebekah and John... you have a dad we dream of having, hold on to him tight ok!

I'm off to go make a few phone calls on my new top of the range phone ... ooo ... it's going to make so many jealous I just can't wait to see their faces!!!

To all of you stuck in places of danger, extreme danger and craziness, be safe and hang in there!

Thanks again to everyone who writes anything, you carry us through, make us laugh, cry and just plain keep us sane!

May the words flow, my the sunlight shine

Dang ... may I stop this addiction to cookies!