Myth 1: Does my story needs to be true and should it be about about me?.

It's up to you whether its true or not what matter is on how you keep your conversation fun. Applying the right techniques in your story telling can keep the conversation moving.

Keeping your story fun, even if the women doesn't believe the story you are telling, can make them entertained and most likely run with new topics that have developed from your stories.

I'm not telling you to lie though, the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion. However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.

You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that a woman can get involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in "Role Playing" and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in "Role Play Conversations" raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)

The goal of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.

With the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.

In applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.

Myth 2: As you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.

Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with pre-scripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.

Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting way that makes people listen.

This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.

What is storytelling and why is it important?

Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.

Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.

If you are familiar with "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer, you will see how each story is molded by the one told before it and by who told the story. (Don't worry; your stories don't have to have a rhyme scheme during the interaction like many of Chaucer's do)

There are many reasons why storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:

*Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations

This is one of the most common problems that I see with many guys. They begin with great interaction and, then the conversation starts to die then there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.

You will have a more approach of confidence if you know you are armed with a story when entering an interaction.

Running out of things to say can make a conversation die and that is why there are people who are afraid to start and enter to an interactions. But by developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.

*Storytelling develops stronger social skills

This is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.

*Storytelling is a great way to display dominance

If you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.

What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.

Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like "Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you)."

*You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.

There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.

Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.

Exercise 1: Write down seven to ten moments in your life that you feel have changed or defined who you are..

If you have a funny story or  humorous event that occurs in your life then you can feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major, just entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.

This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.

Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.

Now I know that there are going to be people that say they have no interesting stories. This is just not the truth; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest; even if it's a silly story write it down. You can't be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can't think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.

So many things happen in one day that people don't even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.

Exercise Two: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.

This is conveying your your personality. Think of the things that you would like others to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your personality and make you who you are. Don't be surprised if the things that you write will directly related in some of the stories you wrote down in exercise one.

Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.

Now save that list for we will be using it in Part II of this newsletter, to create some super powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.

I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.

Watch out for the next newsletter and get ready for the next level of storytelling.

"What you look'n at me for?"

"I ain't look'n at you"

"You better not be look'n at me"

"Oh I better not be look'n at you?  You better not be look'n at me!"

"You just mad 'cus you wanted my seat!"

"I don't want your seat!"

"You want to take this outside!?!"

"Yeah, I'll take it outside!"

"Aw shit, don't have time for this shit!  I gotta get to work."

"Well good."

They go silent for a while, sitting, brooding.

A by-stander chimes in to tell them they shouldn't be fighting. They both agree they don't have anything to fight about.  After a few minutes of conversation they become friendly.

"I'm old enough I could be your mother," says the one sitting down.

"Naw, you look too young to be my mother."

"I have a nineteen-year-old son."

"No shit? That's only two years younger than me."

They both admitting to having a bad day. As the one who is standing moves to exit the car she wishes the one sitting down a good day at work, the one sitting down wishes the one leaving gets home safe.

The by-stander who got involved tries to start hitting on the woman sitting down and has a 19-year-old son at home.

He gets shot down.

I will refer to this kind of act as nonsense as "The Talk of Death".

As a pick-up guru this kind of things will make your conversation topics very poor with women. Especially hot ones.

It might work with the social anthropologist grad student, but to the girl that any man in his right mind would be attracted to, there are a few major things wrong with this strategy:

(BTW - if you happen to find a girl that loves this kind of stuff, by all means go on with it, I'm just saying it should not be used as an ATTRACTION techniques for most of the female population)

1. It puts her on the defensive. It's exactly like one country revealing it's battle plans to another country that it is at war with.

It shows that you are "thinking too much" about the dynamic, which not only is a huge turn off, but also makes her think you're going to be a mind-trip. Not good.

2. There are chances that her awareness level is about 10% of yours.

Especially if you're keeping up on my newsletters which is called "Stepped Awareness".

Have you ever tried played a song you LOVED for a friend and they just didn't get it?

It's because their awareness didn't go through the same process that yours had - and resulted in you really liking the song...

What would expect to a girl who spends the majority of her time thinking about new shoes,  jewelries and her problems with her boss, wouldn't you think it's just too alien and weird for her when you talk about "the unique mating patters of the bonobo apes and how it relates to girls in the club".

This is the same reason why you'll sometimes see the biggest AFC ever with a smoking hot girl. He's normal, and she can easily introduce him to her friends without being ashamed!

3. To a girl that DOES understand it; you talking about it make it seem like a big deal, when it should be plainly obvious.

5-10% of women actually DO get this stuff. It's obvious, intuitive and accepted for them.

These women are capable of open relationships and tend to also like women, and generally a lot of fun.

But here's the thing - the guys they end up dating ALSO get this stuff intuitively.

And when you get something intuitively, you'll never go out of your way to convince another person of it, or explain it like it's some huge revelation!

So the moment you do it, the women who are most eligible for the lifestyle you're looking for, will instantly disqualify you.

So... What to do instead?

Well - one of the most powerful techniques I use is this:

**Understand society's programming, understand her specific programming, and appear to be under the exact same programming.**

Once you try these techniques,  you're absolutely see a big difference in your game.

Keep your knowledge of REALITY to yourself (and of course, if you figure out anything amazing, I would appreciate it if you share it on my forum as well)

She an I made eye contact, you know.. the kind that signals "come talk to me" so I did. I asked her why she was carrying all that kind of equipment. Then I thought about getting out of there, it was like, i just want to go, maybe i can go for a number and get back with her later. I kinda stumbled on my words and asked for the number, but she said she was moving to Georgia, which though me off. So i said, nice to meet you, and left out of the place laughing to myself.

I thought it was fun and I probably made her day just by talking with her. I couldn't help but feel good about the interaction. I remember talking about rejection on the Jay and Jack Show and having all of that knowledge rush though and i just laughed. I know what I did wrong and I can fix it for next time. I guess you could say I had fun "getting rejected" because I could learn from it.

That night, my friends and saw Wall-E at the theater. I started a conversation with a couple of people, the ticket girl and this guy behind the counter of a Chick-Fil-A. My two friends that went with me, i could feel that they were uncomfortable being in a situation when I was talking to people who they didn't know. I really didn't know why, but i kinda understood how they got the way they did. They usually stay at home in their apartments and never go out. So go out and do something, talk to people and go see what's out there!

It is very important and powerful when you are meeting and wanting women to be attracted in you.

Once a storytelling is used correctly and applied by proper techniques your desirability with women will increase rapidly.

Before I dig deeper to the tips and secrets behind successful story telling let me clear up first a few myths about story telling.

Myth 1: Does a story have to be true and about me?.

This is up for you to decide. A story doesn't necessarily have to be true although of course we know that the most powerful stories are ones that are true and comes from the bottom of heart.

The biggest misconception here is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.

It is on how as you keep the conversation fun and moving. Even if it seems obvious that you're story is not true, if you kept it fun and moving, a woman will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation topics developed from your stories.

Myth 2: Once you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.

There is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with pre-scripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.

Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any topic in an interesting matter that makes people listen.

This skill is developed by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the main reason why learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.

What is storytelling?

Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.

Communicating  to the listener about youself is one of the main goals of story telling. Surprisingly, it is easier to demonstrate things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.

When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a manner that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.

Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about telling a story, is that it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.

There are many reasons storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:

1. Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations

This one is a common problem among men. They started with a great interaction, then the conversation starts to die and there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out and revive the interaction.

Knowing you are armed with a story creates more approach confidence when entering an interaction.

People have fear to enter an interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. But  by developing a great story and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.

2. Storytelling develops stronger social skills

With storytelling you will learn to capture the group's attention. Also you can demonstrate your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.

3. You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.

There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.

4. Storytelling is a great way to display dominance

Telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you become the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Having the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.

What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.

A good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down from generation to generation; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like "Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you)."

Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter. So before I end this letter there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.

Exercise 1: List down from seven to ten moments in your life that you feel changed or defined who you are.

Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.

This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. If you have a funny story then that is just a humorous time then you can feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major, just entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.

I am also aware that there are some people here that say they have no interesting stories. This is just not the truth; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest; even if it's a silly story write it down. You can't be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can't think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.

So many things happen in one day that people don't even think would be a story. So there is no excuse not to have one.

Exercise 2: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.

Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.

Think of the things that you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you who you are. Do not be surprised if these things are directly related in some way to the stories you wrote down in exercise one.

Now save this list, we are going to use it a lot in Part II of this newsletter to create some super powerful stories that you can always rely on. I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.

Till then watch out for the next letter and great ready to really take storytelling to the next level.

**Maybe don't ask if she was abused as a child.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

The concept of pick up artistry is based on the idea that men are sexually selected by women based on different criteria than those that attract men to women. A man is not required to possess the same level of beauty expected by men of women nor is it encouraged for men to ply women's favour through expensive gifts or awed flattery. Instead, self-confidence and the ability to utilise psychologically directed skills are emphasized.

PUAs practice lines and methods of interaction several times, even possibly hundreds of times, in each instance of contact with women. A master PUA is not simply one who goes about his actions by second nature over a long period of perfecting the art, but one who is deliberate in his every act. He has become precise by nature, whose second nature has become that which never acts reflexively but always analytically.

Pick up artistry is documented to 1970 or the 1970's through Eric Weber's self help book, How to Pick Up Girls (1970). It has since spawned an increasing number of pundits on the subject of seduction. In 2005, Neil Strauss' The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick Up Artists is one of the most recent calls for media attention to the PUA community. The Game was first on the New York Times Best Seller List and generated much interest in PUA's and their view of sexual psychology. Feminists, psychologists, men, and women have taken to varying opinions of the the effect of such a subculture on today's male-dominated, but female-minority tempered, first world atmosphere.

"Most men would like to get married and commit for life, but feminists have made this a reckless proposition with their no-fault divorce and vicious alimony customs. (There is no reason a man should continue supporting a woman who has left him, but as the law stands, that's the price for a few months of sex.) Women will break your heart just for the rush of power it gives them. I am completely in favor of men strategizing to get some of their own back. If women are going to be faithless sluts, men should take advantage of them." (Female Misogynist)

"I would say that this PUA technique is similar to a lion stalking a herd of water buffalo to find the weak and easy one…but that would be giving them too much credit. Considering there are more attractive, funnier and more well-adjusted men at this bar, the pickup squad comes off more like a pack of rabid jackals moving in to mop up once the real kings of the jungle have moved on." (deadbeat Jones)

So far, I'm not so sure PUA's are practising anything totally unethical or vicious. Women have the right to choose who they are interested in, as much as anyone may attract them. How is this psychological manner of demonstrating the best (or at least the most attractive) in a man very different from a woman who wears beautiful clothes or a lot of makeup? At some point, if the PUA finds a woman worth spending a very long time with, this exterior must fall away to reveal the true interior. At that point, the PUA has to understand he is either screwed or liberated.

The only real potential loser in the game is the PUA himself. In practising lines and approaches day after day, moment after moment, he may be missing out on the spontaneous interaction that is essential to human social health. For many men, this may be the reason for the unfruitfulness of their PUA skill; for other men, they may never notice as they as very successful as PUAs.

How is it that all PUAs are male? PUA assumption is that women never initiate contact as we are only passive receivers of the game. Through this, we can infer that women are by nature unable to master pick-up artistry.

I'm also a sucker for beautiful books. At some point I was obsessed with Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events even though the books were weird (though well written) and the jagged page edges hurt my fingers.

A fraternity at school mandates that its pledges read The Game as one of its rush activities. I've not heard of many women reading this book or finding use for the basic tenets of pick up artistry for interacting with men. But maybe this is something that needs to be investigated, accounting for the fact that The Game and the general concepts of the game are geared towards attracting (women, not men), by (men, not women). Even if learning the rules of the game are ineffective for women the same way it is for men, it may be beneficial to understand the psychological signals that attract us to men, whether they be bad boys or good boys. Maybe we should understand that the game is playing on our weaknesses and become less gullible, instead of complaining of the provocation by slick men. There are too many ways for men to fail at attracting women by accident; what man wouldn't want assurance from a tested way to succeed? As much as men should respect the humanity of a woman, women need to be educated about how to resist being as quickly charmed by anyone. The only way to beat the system is to defy the stereotype that the system is perpetuated and founded upon. How many women are doing that?

I borrowed The Game from the library yesterday. It's not a big deal but at least it's something. I'm not attempting to find holes in the PUA community or loosen its foundations (1 girl at a time) but I think I should know what some of the techniques are. Good men will use pick up artistry just to increase their confidence to approach women; any psychological method can be used to hurt people but the ability to have that choice is what makes pick up artistry so popular.

I always am reminded of my AFC friend. We saw Get Smart tonight, very funny movie, highly recommended, but what stuck with me that night was that when I dropped my AFC friend off back at his place, he said that Anna Hathaway was hot and that she was a girl that he would like to have a relationship with. I think every guy that sees that movie would agree, so do I.. but what struck a chord with me is that my AFC friend will never get a girl like that who has beauty, intelligence, wit, and a great personality. What hurts me is that i've tried to talk to him about the game and he doesn't want to hear about it. He doesn't want to put the effort into it. That was the second part of Mystery's Magnum Opus that stuck with me, "Are you willing to let the first 100 girls you talk to walk away so that you can then have any girl you want after that?"

I think my AFC friend doesn't want to "suffer" through those first 100 girls to get the girl of his dreams. I know I am, and I want you to be as well. There's always another girl around the corner. And if he just happens to run across Ms. Hathaway's path in real life, he would be one of the few guys that could get a woman of that quality.

I've reached the point where i'm practicing on my approaches and sets, as well as just being who I am when talking to girls. Every time I leave a set, i think about what I did wrong, where I messed up, and where i need to improve and what I need to do in order to get to the next level. In other words, i'm about on my 20th girl i've approached. I still have a ways to go but it gets easier every time. All you have to do is learn, approach, and put forth a little effort.

Or maybe you saw a group of girls with one or two guys with them and you ASSUMED the guys were cooler than you so you avoided approaching because you feared embarrassment.

There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with women who were with other guys.

They assume that the girl is "with" the guy, and assume he's her boyfriend.

Guys shouldn't think this as a barrier of talking to a woman. Plus - she's not a guy's "slave" or a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses, especially in a social situation like in the bar where people meet other people.

Approaching a woman who is "with" a guy often will make you look extremely confident, and draw out his jealous side, making him look insecure and weak.

The other reason guys don't approach women with other men points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.

Men tend to be threatened by other men, they assumed that the "other guy" is more cooler, stronger, or somehow powerful than they are.

This is founded in an ancient survival strategy that has been hardwired into the human brain.

In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the more "dominant" person is. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is. The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.

He doesn't know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.

To assumed that the guy is a threat is the safest way to play. Because guys that are too bold may have won a few confrontations, but it will take them a single mistake that can end up their game.

And then their genes were taken out of the "game" so to speak.

So the guys who played it safe, and avoided confrontation usually lived long enough to reproduce and survive.

The irony is that most of approach anxiety nowadays have the basis on this hard-wired survival strategy - the false assumptions of the guys will lead them to unnecessarily avoid women.

The thing is, most times when you see a woman talking to another guy in the bar or club, she's not WITH him.

Usually, they JUST MET!

For many instances I've approached a girl with a guy thinking it was her boyfriend, then only to find out that he was just a random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.

I have regrets to those times that I've missed so many opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with another guy. And this brings me to my first point:

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO HER. DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE.

Approach a woman so that you will know what they really are. Just remember to be alert and respectful, because in the off chance they are together, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and start a physical confrontation.

So use your brain - just don't be stagnant in making a false assumptions.

Another thing that I want to talk about is the idea that the other guy can be more "dominant" than you are.

The concept of the alpha male is completely outdated. In the caveman days, the alpha male had real power - he had access to resources like food, and was physically stronger, so he could beat up competitors.

But ask yourself if those powers are relevant today. Every man with a source of income can survive on his own - if you're reading this, you probably have access to food and shelter. You're all set.

Plus, in this modern world it is irrelevant to use the physical strength just to beat people up. It's illegal.

You'll always end up losing if you attack another person because the police always win.

If you think about it, you are LETTING RANDOM GUYS STOP YOU FOR NO REASON!

Just excuse my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk to???

It was annoying - remembering all the girls I missed out on because I was scare about some DUDE. And I get mad knowing that the other guys are dealing with some crap!

When you're on your deathbed, you are going to look back on all the things you did and didn't do. How painful would it be to say "I didn't meet that girl because I was scared of another guy," or "there were so many beautiful women I could've enjoyed, but I didn't even try because I saw them TALKING to another guy."

I don't want that to be you.

So let's analyze it deeply. You truly don't understand dominance if you are seeing the other guy as more dominant.

You see, if you're concerned with who is more dominant you instantly make yourself NOT dominant. There's a better focus.

You must first THINK like a dominant man in order to become dominant. And dominant men doesn't care who is more dominant. So what do dominant men think about? Whatever it is that they are doing or want.

So you see another guy talking to a group of girls. Instead of worrying about whether or not he's more dominant than you, focus on the girls.

I seldom even acknowledge other guys, because it's proven to be just a waste of time. 9 out of 10 women don't even know the guy - they just meet him.

Or if they do, maybe ONE of the girls know him, and barely the rest know him.

It's rare for girls to go out with a guy they are dating - usually they will bring a guy who is more of a protector/friend because a guy like that is more valuable when they go out on the town.

And also, if that guy IS with one of the girls, that means he's NOT with the other girls - they are fair game.

When you are concerned with who's the alpha male, you are by definition NOT the alpha male. In fact, it's questionable whether alpha males truly exist in the modern world.

Avoid some assumption, just get your focus in a USEFUL place, and don't allow some random dude to stop you from enjoying YOUR LIFE!

And how does it feel that despite of all the effort you're doing you're still not getting an inch closer to your goal?

If you agreed to those questions, then you may continue reading.

I'm not going to lie, the dating game can be quite frustrating.

You see a girl you like, but she has a boyfriend.

You think everything will be going great with a woman and then she stops answering your calls.

Not to mention the fact that as the man you pretty much have to do everything to move things forward.

You must have the courage in the way you approach.

YOU have to keep the conversation going at first, YOU have to escalate physically, YOU have to get HER number or rack your brain to figure out a logistical way to take her home, YOU have to plan the date.

You know what, the standards for men's behavior are much higher than women.

(Let's not started on that...let's just say women are allowed to get away with sub-par behavior just because they are "beautiful.")

It can be pretty exhausting, especially if you're not "extroverted" by nature.

... I have often heard a complain about "extroversion fatigue" from a client of mine.

I exactly knew what he meant about because I used to struggle with it before.

Before I began to teach myself pickup, I would go out, and be mentally DRAINED after talking to three or four women.

I would take a break and rest!

Think about how strange that is. In a situation where you are supposed to be having fun and RELAX, I was instead working harder than I was at my full time job.

I'd go home and be absolutely DEAD

... from having a CONVERSATION WITH WOMEN!

That things makes any sense???

There you see the general dating fatigue. There's an ups and downs in the emotions, results that is discouraging, in the hard work that I make just to get women to hang out with me or be in bed with me.

It was like a full time job and I was working overtime!

When I first got in this game, I literally had to force myself to go out and pickup ALL DAY for days on end. (I admit, I was a nerd, and pushed it to the extreme.)

But what can I say, I was passionate about learning all this stuff (and not to mention extremely eager for results after years of sexual frustration).

I would push myself like professional athletes push themselves in the gym.

I was forming NEW NEUROPATHWAYS and working on my muscles that I've never done before.

If you can relate to any of this, then you are probably working too hard in your interactions with women.

There are three reasons for this.

Socially proactive is the first reason that may be new to you.

I remember the first time I started weight lifting, I don't have an upper pectoral muscles - the muscle right at the top of your chest just under your clavicle that make your chest look big.

Actually I did, but they were so small and weak, it took a good three weeks to even begin to feel them. Every time I worked them out I was incredibly sore and could barely move my arms.

And then I reached a tipping point of sorts, where the muscle was developed enough that I could handle big amounts of weight without all the soreness and fatigue. Your mind is the same way.

Developing your new neuro-pathways will take time. So with the level of your skills, you need to push yourself harder from day-to-day.

The second reason that can cause a feeling of social fatigue is that when you think that there is too much to do or learn when meeting women.

Actually this is more on having an overwhelmed feeling and has somewhat a little different from "fatigue."

One way that can frazzle your mind is when you are overwhelmed by something. And this can lead to some sort of discouragement, exhaustion and depression. It's like your body saying "Whew, enough for this much work, I'm quitting before I can even begin"

This will hinder you from doing any progress. I was in this situation when I was putting a lot of theories on my notes. And as I looked at them I've seen that I am just like looking for a huge and complex physics equation.

It was discouraging to think that I had to do almost all the needed things just to get a good quality of women.

The last reason for feeling exhausted in the dating and mating game is that you are spending too much mental energy in the wrong places, wasting your focus on stuff that isn't useful to pickup.

I'd say 99 percent of guys get it wrong when it comes to attracting women. The thing is, the woman usually can't tell, because most guys learn to hide their inner "stuff" after a few harsh rejections.

But this doesn't negate the fact that when the average guy is attracted to a woman, he spends his mental energy on trying to impress her, or figure out if she likes him.

Think about the messages we get from the media, our parents and friends, and women - it's the man's role to IMPRESS the woman and EARN sex from her.

So Pathetic!

I hate seeing an advertisement of a guy that bumbling around a cute girl trying to impress her, even though he looks like a fool while the girl giggles like she's better than him because she's a girl.

Ok enough ranting...  the point is that most guys are screwed when it comes to being in control of their dating lives.

The matter of attraction for a guy will be change if he will only takes the time to adjust the way his mind works.

Once you get to highest level of your interaction with women, you will truly be attractive to them. You just need to be at your best both physically and emotionally.

A MAN AT HIS BEST.

I started to understand how easy it was after just trying a couple of solid pickups.

I realize now that those initial successes were the start of a major "bad belief overhaul."

I started to believe that women wanted me and are really wanted sex .

I have also this confidence that I am that attractive and desirable to women (even though I know I'm far from what's typically considered good-looking).

To sleep with more women as much as possible is one of the main objective of my students (almost 75% of them)

While the remaining of them are looking for someone special. As I've said before, I don't think these goals are mutually exclusive.

You see, if you're looking for one special girl, you're gonna have to meet a good amount of woman so you can make the best choice.

And if you don't know how to meet women, I doubt if you can get the best girl.

There's a very common phase that every good pickup artist goes through when he gets started. He begins learning new ways of thinking and behaving, and behold, he starts meeting and sleeping with a LOT OF WOMEN.

He's like a kid in a candy store, taking full advantage of his new powers!

This period is necessary, or at least it was for me in order to get out of my old way of thinking, and internalize my new reality - that I am attractive and woman want to sleep with me.

So it's important that you have a few really fast, casual sensual encounters, in order to get the ball rolling on forming new beliefs.

I'm referring to a one-night stands, same day lays, whatever you want to call it.

Now if you've never had a one night stand, or maybe got lucky a couple of times when you were drunk, having a one-night 'stands at-will' can seem just as out-of-reach as having a great girlfriend.

But it's actually pretty easy, if you know what you are doing.

The crappy thing is, a lot of guys make it WAY too hard on themselves, and never get those initial sexual experiences that help them to really feel like a "natural."

If you're reading this, then you are interested in getting not only BETTER with woman, but you want to MASTER THE GAME.

Mastery comes from within - it starts with a mindset, and leads to external results, which then form NEW BELIEFS in your mind.

These new beliefs become the foundation for your new reality, where you naturally attract women without even thinking about it.

There's one thing you need to know when going for a one-night stand – You cannot always have the hottest girl in the place to go home with you.

Bringing a girl home doesn't based on whether she is open or not in going home with a guy, sure maybe you can her number but it varies widely on particular night.

However, there are LOTS of horny women moving around the clubs and bar anytime of the day that are open in getting lay that same day or night. And all you have to do is have a knowledge and ability to spot them.

The things that I look in spotting them are in the way how they dressed, how much make-up they put on their face and other things that relates to how they look physically. Remember that there is a reason why women exert a lot of effort in order to look beautiful.

The reason is they want to be approached. Although it isn't always true but is generally the case.

Another thing that you can spot that a woman is looking for attention is when she is being so loud and animated.

These women are obviously making themselves out there, waiting to be notice by men.

Just take these in mind, that when you approach you don't go into full-steam running your clever routines and cocky frame control stuff. You have to take it easy.

You have to let them know that you are interested in meeting them, A simple "hey ladies, you all look great tonight. Special occasion?" is enough. Its just have to be light, warming and social.

You should not openly discuss to a woman that you are looking forward in bringing her home with you and getting her into bed. Because, if you talk about that, you're putting a woman to a point where she has to agree to implicitly bang with you.
Instead you want to build sensual tension, as we discuss heavily in our workshops.

This will be against a woman's “rules” and she'll definitely be keeping distance from you. And you really need a logistic information to know how you can get her back to your place.

So before that thing happen, you have to remove some of your overt sensual intention and try not to let her know that you are trying to pick her up.

You must have the willingness to control the situation and knows how to enjoy while having the escalation in the right way.

Although it may seem as counter intuitive, but this is how it works.

You must trust that women wants to be in bed and there are a lot of women in the club, bar or in any venue that wants to get a same day lay.

Some won't and some will, and that is why you need to know how to spot and how to get them.

You don't want to put a lot of effort and time with the wrong girl or to pick the right girl and then mess it up after a very long interaction.

It will just be a waste of time.

See how easy it is.

Magic can be really powerful when the girl least expects it, with little set up...and when you've already established rapport.  Unless you have amazing skills and an even MORE amazing way to follow...a PUMA typically would wait til later in the interaction to open.

You know that time in your conversation where you would normally tell a story to the girl to create some sort of connection (real or canned)?  That's a great place to interject a magic effect.

EXCEPTIONS-  The Proximity Open:   This is where you are doing a casual but visual effect (like levitating an object or using flash paper) in a girls line-of-sight.  Perhaps you're doing an effect for a friend and it's close enough to get noticed.  It's important to be low key and casual here...she'll be much more likely to come over and open you. 

Conversely...your wingman could pull her in and say, "Watch, you gotta see this!"  **If he does this...make sure you become "The Reluctant Magician."  Play it off, laugh and tell them that your friend is impressed very easily.  I'll say, "Ok watch, my grandpa just taught me this..."  They'll think you're about to pull a coin out from behind their ear.  When you float a bill or make five $1 bills turn into five $100 bills in front of their eyes...you may even get a scream!

EXCEPTION Number "B"  I have taken the opportunity to open a group of girls with a magic trick when the girl I'm opening is NOT the target.  She's the friend, the girlgoyle, the grenade, etc.  I like to find her when she's not directly "with" her friend, but standing near her or wait til the hot girl has left temporarily.

Theory here: 

• I'm entertaining her friends, not her. 
• You don't care if you impress or attract her friend if the trick doesn't work out. 
• When it DOES WORK, and then you befriend her amiga, she will undoubtedly pull her hot friend over to meet you so you can do the trick for her.  If this happens...YOU MUST REFUSE!  Do not be a Dancing Monkey.  You just got an intro to the hot target without using magic directly.  Yet b/c you won't show her, now there's something "mysterious" about you AND you're not complying with her demands like 99% of AFC's or Average Frustrated Chumps will.  (You can pull out a trick later in the night after you've been engaging your target for a while...but only when she doesn't expect it at all!)

Summary:  Don't Open with Tricks.  Insert them into your set at certain unexpected times.  If you absolutely must open...either do a Proximity Open, have your friend pull a girl in and be "The Reluctant Magician" or open the fattest girl in the group.  (I mean the one you're not as interested in...just to be P.C.)

So people have been asking what PUMA skills I possess. I'll tell you right now I'm not a world class magician and wouldn't be caught dead on stage. But these tricks are field tested and approved for use in pick-up. EVERY one of them has worked numerous times. They're easy enough to master for an amateur and you can even do them when you're drunk off your arse!

The Mastery Course is coming soon...

if you are not controlling events in your own life, you will feel
beta-ed at a very fundamental level. Set aside a certain amount of
time every day to be proactive about life administration. Go AFTER
the things you need to get done in your life. Control your time
management and life organization and you will build and grow masculine
fulfillment. This is self-mastery

Do not fear the future. Instead throw yourself into it, because when
you do, you will realize you actually DO have the faculties to take
care of any situation you might face.. that you're not actually
"throwing" yourself out there, but just experiencing more of life. ,
In this way, you're taking YOUR action, instead of just reacting to
whatever happens. This builds self-mastery

And remember.. the baseline reset to your guys' minds and bodies, is
physical exertion. You must exhibit physical control over your own
bodies to build self-mastery

Ouais, bon, OK, c'est une émission sur MTV, mais sais-tu qu'outre tout ce show, c'est un mouvement qui se répand dans le monde!

J'te jure, c'est devenu une manière de vivre, a way of life, quoi, tu vois (bon OK, j'arrête le Jean-Claude Van Dammisme, promis!).

En gros, c'est l'art de la séduction rapide, voire expéditive.

Tu causes 10 minutes à ton/ta potentiel(le) et hop, le tour est joué!

Pour ce faire, il suffirait

1. d'aimer les hommes/femmes;
2. d'avoir une volonté d'améliorer sans cesse son art de la dragouille;
3. d'avoir une structure ou une méthode de travaille.

Quelques petits trucs pour maîtriser la troisième condition?

Suffit de demander!

(bon je mets tout au masculin, hein, sinon, ça va devenir illisible avec les parenthèses, tout ça...)

• N'aie pas l'air trop intéressé. Bref fais pas le lourd et surveille ce que tu racontes;
• Sois original et imprévisible;
• Sois intéressant dans ce que tu es ou sais et dans ce que tu dis;
• Ne parle pas trop vite. Bon on t'as pas dit de faire le Suisse non plus, hein (sorry les Suisses... je peux remplacer par le Namurois si tu veux...);
• Sois sûr de ce que tu dis et fais. Ca ça veut dire de pas faire ton timide et que si tu proposes un truc, tu dois déjà avoir une idée derrière la tête...
• Deux pas en avant, un pas en arrière. Perso, moi je trouve que ça c'est le meilleur conseil qu'on puisse donner: tu donnes, puis tu reprends, un peu...
• Ne sois pas négatif. Euh, celui-ci, je vois pas trop...

Voilà, maintenant tu choperas comme un/une malade...

Super non?

Ouais, j'suis d'accord, c'est plutôt nul comme mentalité...

T'imagne avoir pour seul but de lever le plus de mecs ou de nanas possible, sans vivre les trucs magiqes qui vont avec la séduction... pfff, quoi!

Pourquoi je te cause de ça, alors? vas-tu me dire.

Ben écoute voilà, il paraîtrait qu'un pick up artist ait tenté de me draguer...

En vain...

Héhé!

Il se prend pour qui le PUA? Non mais...!

PS: 'tain! l'Amandine de la New étoile, elle me colle des frissons à tous les coups! Cette nana a une voix et une présence phénoménales!

Most men want to know their women are beautiful. Most women want to know their men have worth. Learn how to create social value in yourself, and the ladies will become MUCH more attracted to you even before you display any other seductive traits.

Fame: What’s it good for?

Before dealing with physical strategies, I want to talk for a second about fame.

I know, this really separates me from the rest of the world, but dare to be different I say.

Fame is a major turn-on, for BOTH men and women. Why?

Well, let me tell you, the reasons are ENTIRELY different. For men, fame works if the woman is famous for her BEAUTY. If she’s a famous scientist, say, that doesn’t count. She has to be a universally recognized knockout. Get together with her, and not only are you the MAN for beating out so many other comers, but you KNOW she gorgeous. That’s what made her famous.

For women, it’s the social STATUS that comes from being famous. The respect, the dominance – the fact that you can skip the lines at shows, that you get preferential treatment, that you can show her worlds that regular guys can’t – which is the turn-on. You COULD be a famous politician, ugly as sin, but because you get free tickets to the opera, hey, that’s good enough.

That would never work on a man.

These sorts of things are HARDWIRED into us. Exactly what the hunter-gatherers were doing is hard to say for sure, but take a look at monkeys.

Of Alphas and Men

Chimpanzees are fiercely dominant and territorial. There’s one alpha male who gets to have sex with pretty much everyone. All the other males have to stay out of his way, if they’re even allowed to HANG OUT with the group.

It’s not unusual for the alpha male to literally squeeze the testicles off of a challenger. Out of respect for the victims, I’m foregoing all ball-busting jokes here.

If you’re a female chimp, who do you think you’re going to wind up going for? The alpha, who’ll at least take care of the group, or Mr. Soon-to-be-Castrated, who even if he has sex with you and gets you pregnant, those kids’ll just be killed by the alpha when they’re born?

The nature of the chimp selects those having sex with the alpha. Eventually –with human rationalizing when you get to us – you go from HAVING to have sex with him to WANTING to.

Nice to know that we humans aren’t the only screwed-up things on the planet.

That sets the stage.

Of Orgies and Men

But then there’s also the bonobo monkey, a lesser-known primate that’s almost as close to us as chimps. And these guys play with different rules.

They aren’t violent, for the most part. They live in a matriarchal society, and there really ISN’T an alpha system like elsewhere in nature. Instead, female bonobo have sex in exchange for protection and provisions.

Sometimes bonobo are literally having sex with the males holding bananas in their hands, promising to hand them over once they get their rocks off.

Sound familiar?

So which way are we programmed? Both ways.

Women are turned on by dominant alpha men. It triggers their lust, from all the THOUSANDS of years that women have had sex with dominant men.

And women are also turned on by men who can provide. It triggers their nesting instinct, their need for security and protection and, um, food.

The bonobo have a problem though. When you live in a world where women want monogamy AND it’s matriarchal AND gives a rational choice to the women about sex, merely showing yourself a provider isn’t going to work often.

The bonobo have sex all the time with everyone, so it can work.

How’s it all translate to us?

Humans don’t, so you wind up in a courtship that lasts months or years, with a woman who can always choose another provider. You aren’t triggering her emotion, but her logic, as a bonobo male.

Plus, most women aren’t walking around hungry for a banana. If only it were that easy.

The chimp alpha system, however, isn’t logical. It’s primal. Emotional. And the underlying understanding of chimp society is women don’t have the choice.

They NEED to have sex with the alpha.

When you get to the complex level of humans, this need becomes ATTRACTION.

Alright, let’s bring it home.

If the thousands of years of evolution have conspired to make women attracted to dominant males, how do WE become that?

Aside from castrating others I mean.

CREATE social value in yourself

Believe it or not, the process is pretty simple. And it all starts with relaxed confidence. Remaining playful because you’re comfortable in your skin. Secure in yourself.

Outside signs can be created, as well. Become friendly with doormen, get to the point where you can say “Hey Jimmy” and walk past the throngs and through the velvet rope at a few clubs.

Get to know maitre-des who can bring you in through the kitchen to a table reserved at a hot hard-to-enter restaurant.

Sound hard to do? It’s not – it just takes a little friendliness to the right people. Become friends with them, and you get the preferential treatment that says you’re an alpha.

When you’re in a group, remember that YOUR opinion is the one that matters most.

That’s where a lot of people get messed up – they think the alpha has to be the focal point, because he often is.

THAT’S not the key, though. Try too hard, and you come off as an insecure attention starved spotlight hog. The point isn’t to be the LOUDEST or to say the MOST, but to have the trend-setting opinion, which starts with believing in yourself. And NOT caring if others follow – they will, but not if they feel you forcing them.

If a scene-stealer comes in and tries to ruin your game, a simple eye roll and relocation – “Let’s go get a drink.” – is MUCH more powerful than entering into a limelight fight. It says you’re confident, in control of the situation, AND in a position of power, from which you can communicate “This is no fun, let’s find something that is.” You LEAD. People will follow.

And you don’t have to maim a soul.

A LITTLE arrogance can communicate that power as well, much better than some Neanderthal brawl.

So how do you compete with the famous, and trigger the lust that their power does?

Make Your Circle

You create a circle within which YOU are a star. You get the good table and the chef comes to it and makes off-the-menu dishes. The DJ requests a request from you. And your friends reinforce the aura of importance that travels around with you.

If you’re starting from scratch, it can take awhile to build a complete circle. Once it’s there, though, women will respond to it. POWERFULLY.

There’s nothing like being popular to increase popularity.

And the little ball busting you do is of the non-violent, playful variety.

From there, getting to WANT to translate your social value into sexual action is a MUCH simpler step. ACT powerful, and you BECOME powerful. And power on a man is sexy.

Derek Vitalio

Check out Derek Vitalio material:

• Derek Vitalio Seduction Newsletter
• Get The Girlfriend
• Blissnosis Master Program
• Seduction Archetypes
• Seduction Science, 3rd Edition
• Seduction Science eBook
• Deep Inner Game Series

Here I concretely lay out what we’ve covered to this point – a step-by-step guide from meeting a lady to getting her in your bed. Follow these steps religiously and you’ll do tons better than the guy thinking “God I want to sleep with HER!” Guaranteed.

Where are we?

By now we’ve talked a number of times about the STEPS approach, how you need to focus not on bringing a woman home, but instead on going one further step down the path that will lead to intimacy.

Still, we haven’t specifically listed each step – and some we haven’t even specifically stated. So before we unleash your new crazy powerful skills upon the world, let’s make sure you know the path you want to walk.

The First Step

Have your place READY for a lady.
This doesn’t mean you need some insane Daddy Mac love pad with the potion of seduction enveloping every little item and cranny. What this DOES mean is you need your place presentable at every moment.

When you step out the door, is it dirty? Do you have old socks or pizza boxes hanging around? Would you bring a girl back to your pad, given its current state?

If the answer is no, you need to work on that spatial hygiene. Now you don’t need to be able to eat off the floor, but you do need your bathroom to NOT repel with its smell, your floor to be visible, and your general organization to be a cut above the mad professor.

Go too far and you look a bit like a neat freak – but that’s miles better than looking like a slob. The worst stereotype about neat men is they aren’t interested in ladies – and hopefully, you’ll be able to prove to your targeted woman that isn’t true within a few moments.

However, if you manage to elicit a lady’s disgust factor (and everyone has theirs triggered by different things – although generally, the closer you get to the toilet, the higher the risk) you can ruin a night’s worth of work. Nothing like having your place be a deal-breaker.

So, take the time. Keep it clean. Always. You never know when opportunity will present itself. Be a boy scout and be ready.

Even better, have your showcase skill or some other interesting object(s) in easy view. If you play guitar, don’t keep it in a closet, but set it up in your main room or bedroom in plain view. If you want to bring a woman over to “look at art” have the art book handy and displayed.

In other words, have the bait you’re using to lure to your lair in easy reach. When you arrive to show off that new CD, it looks more natural and genuine if it isn’t in the bottom of a drawer. If you want to show off your photo skills (one of my favorites), have your camera ready to go.

This isn’t rocket science. Just have a place that wouldn’t threaten anyone – and hopefully lends itself to playfulness and interest – and keep it that way. Easy. Still, plenty of people forget this, end a night prematurely because they aren’t ready to entertain, and never get another chance. Just don’t do that.

Be Clean in Every Way

Take care of your own hygiene. You’d be surprised how often bad breath is the deal-breaker. In fact, an offending smell is one of the most unattractive things known to humanity. Chances are at some time or other in your own past it ended what would have been a beneficial connection.

So, considering we lose any sense or our own scent very quickly, it’s best to play it safe. Assume you smell awful, and take the necessary precautions. Brush teeth twice. Bring along some sort of breath saver (I like the film ones because they’re small and make no noise in pockets). If you sweat, wash, and if you can’t wash, deodorize.

Cheap aftershave – used in MODERATION – can be a godsend.

As far as fashion goes, you don’t need to be straight off a Paris runway. In fact, unless you have talent in this area, simple is the best way to keep it. A nice pair of chinos and a plain black shirt is PLENTY as long as you wear it with confidence.

Flashier things can you some attention, but before you put them on you want to be sure it isn’t the wrong kind. Simple is fine. Really. Just look clean and fresh and you’ll have no problems.

Carry around an odor and stains and no matter how cool you are, your social value takes a dive and you’re cutting yourself off from most women (hot granolas excepted).

Create the Attraction

Be playful and fun and extend your meeting. This can mean getting a number or email, shifting your locale, or any of a million other things. The main purpose here is NOT to bring a woman to bed, but merely to ATTRACT her. All you need be concerned with is getting her interested enough that she wants to spend more time with you.

Best to do it with your relaxed and playful attitude, but if time is short, you can get a number with little more than confident politeness. Don’t worry about what comes later. Just get her into you to begin.

Lead her somewhere - together

Change locations. This can happen at the same time, or at a later date. This is where your scene-shifting skills come into play, where the fact that you are somewhere TOGETHER is both natural and enjoyable. If things are going well at this point you can shift quickly into physical contact, but at the least you should start introducing familiarities like hand-holding and relaxed (unpervy) touching. You’re building to a later point here, so don’t try to take more than is being offered – you’ll get turned down and likely lose a number of points, digging yourself a deep hole.

Just concentrate on establishing and strengthening your connection here. Again, that should be your ONLY GOAL. If want you really want is to sleep with this girl, fine. That comes later.

Don’t be the shortstop who looks where the throw’s supposed to go and misses the ground ball. Stay focused on your contact with the lady. The rest will follow successfully.

Get private

Now you’ve established contact, and the lady is into you. What do you do? BRING HER HOME. Her place or yours – whichever works with the seed you’ve created earlier (Have you heard the new Coldplay album?) Once you get her there, don’t rush things – she’s already basically said she’s interested in going further, but push too fast and you’ll turn her off and undo all the good you did earlier.

Instead, take your time here. In fact, if you wait just a little bit longer than she’s comfortable with – or play hard-to-get yourself (I don’t think you get to sleep with me just because we both like Coldplay!) - that’s even more powerful.

Turn up the Heat

All you need now is the transition to PHYSICAL connection. Ah, that’s always a great place to trip yourself up, isn’t it?

Well, fear not. Just read on.

Derek Vitalio

Check out Derek Vitalio material:

• Derek Vitalio Seduction Newsletter
• Get The Girlfriend
• Blissnosis Master Program
• Seduction Archetypes
• Seduction Science, 3rd Edition
• Seduction Science eBook
• Deep Inner Game Series

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Many men like to have different tricks and skills to impress women. That’s great, but it needs to come from a REAL place inside of you. Don’t brag about it – just let it become a natural part of your being. And the women will love you for it.

Major Steps in Improving Yourself

Let’s take a moment now – before we get into the REAL nitty-gritty – to talk a bit about some self-improvement that will help you in a MAJOR way when dealing with the opposite sex (or same sex, if you like – I don’t care, and it’ll work either way).

You need to develop a showcase skill. Seriously. This is HUGE.

And it’s far from an overnight thing. In fact, if you dedicate yourself to this in a major way, it’ll be around half a year before you have anything worth crowing about.

But it’s worth it. In fact, this goes way beyond the dating scene and will help out your whole being in basically every facet of life. We’re talking huge a huge increase in your social value. Troubles polishing the confidence? This’ll do it. Running out of interesting topics by your fourth date? You’ll always have this nuke. Having lots of fun with a string of ladies, but hunkering for something more meaningful? Here’s the key.

DON’T SHOW OFF

We’ll talk more about why this is such a good thing in a bit, but first, some warnings. You do NOT want to show off. You DON’T want to bring all conversations ‘round to this. In fact, you don’t want to mention it at all.

Listen, relaxed confidence – as we’ve discussed ad nauseum – is HUGE when dealing with women, and probably the most important ingredient in any successful approach. But there’s a fine line you tread here – and going from confident to cocky can be a BIG error.

We humans aren’t dumb. And one thing most people learn over the years – especially hot women who get an unasked for doctorate in male psychology – is that people often overplay their weaknesses.

It’s a classic defense system. A person is deficient in some area, so they try to talk themselves up. If a guy can’t stop bragging about how many women he’s bagged, it either means he’s telling the truth – and every man hates him for it – or, more likely, he’s a virgin (or close to it).

You probably know this intuitively if not consciously, and when you think about it a little bit, it helps explain all sorts of odd behavior we encounter over the years. I mean, how many times do we need to see our insanely micromanaging colleague with the screwed up personal life before we make this connection? And I don’t mean see it in one person in an isolated instance – I mean seeing it in MOST of the misplaced frustration of EVERYONE we encounter.

Psychology calls it projection.

It’s corollary is false boasting. And when you cross the line between being confident and being boaster, people start to question why you have to talk yourself up so much. Hence, your social value decreases. Somewhere in their brain your brags begin to sound like insecurity. Watch any teen flick and you’ll see this pattern play out over and over again.

DON’T SHOW OFF, but also DON’T BE WEAK

Ok, great, now we’re directly stating that you want to avoid showing OFF at all costs, but you want to keep that confidence and a certain AIR of cockiness around. So what do we do?

Of course, your first line of defense is being playful. If you can make any brag into a bit of comedy, you avoid most of the pitfalls. Like if I hear a date say something about how gorgeous a man is – say, Brad Pitt – I’ll usually retort, “Yeah, he’s pretty good looking. Not as handsome as ME, of course, but not bad – for an actor.”

See what I just did? Here’s a hint: I mixed my signals.

While I was talking about how great I am, I also inserted a little self-deprecation. I mean, demeaning a Hollywood stud’s looks in comparison to just about ANYONE is funny because it’s ridiculous. If I looked like Brad Pitt, I’D be getting $20 mil per flick. It’s a JOKE.

But at the same time, I don’t back down. I don’t act threatened, and I don’t raise a guard. In short, I look COOL.

This is VERY powerful – because it short-circuits or passes many insecurity tests that will be thrown your way.

Depth and Conviction

But at the same time, you don’t want to JUST be witty. Believe it or not, that gets old. Faster than you think.

If you want to have any relationship beyond a fling at any point, you’re going to need some SUBSTANCE.

At heart, a person without interests isn’t interesting. And that’s where your showcase skill comes in.

Again – and I can’t stress this enough – DON’T TALK ABOUT IT. Whatever it is, the subject will eventually come up naturally. Force it, and you stray into show-off territory.

Let it arise passively, and you look legit. After all, if you’re SO confident that you don’t NEED to talk about it, then the talent must be real.

Genius, not I

Alright, I know plenty of you are thinking something like “Yeah, if you play guitar like Hendrix, but I’m an ordinary dude.” Think again.

You don’t need to be extraordinary. Hell, you don’t even need to be that good. What you NEED is the proof of dedication to something not directly related to scoring.

Even if that’s what you’re really after.

Why? Suddenly you become a three-dimensional person. You take yourself straight out of any possible sleazy category and become a more complete human.

Plus, the confidence from knowing that you’re operating at something close to full potential at something is like the aphrodisiac chemists have wet dreams about.

Because most insecurity is, at root, the belief that we could be doing better.

Think about that a little bit. It’s a deeper statement than most.

So pick something. Anything. It doesn’t matter what – ok, going on about your Star Trek Club rank might be too dweeby, but MOST anything will work fine.

As long as you have interest in it and you pursue it with PASSION, that passion gets communicated. You become a hot-blooded latin lover when the topic arises. You defeat any fears the woman might have that you are some one-dimensional pickup machine, and you get sexier in the process.

Getting Involved

Your homework for this? Simple. Figure out what you love. If you already know, great, keep at it and don’t SHOW OFF, but at the same time don’t be shy. Let it be a natural extension of yourself that will come out whenever it’s appropriate.

If you don’t know, spend a little time getting a grip on it. Apply some double-think – you shouldn’t do it JUST to get women (although it will help you tremendously), but you should do it because you LOVE it.

Develop the passions in yourself, and you’ll develop your pheromone appeal in the process.

Some guys like to get into magic because it’s a great ice-breaker in social situations and in general is a wonderful social skill. But if you think it’s silly, DON’T DO IT. You’ll come off plastic. Better to find something you genuinely believe in.

In short, do this for YOU and your own convictions. The women will follow.

Derek Vitalio

Check out Derek Vitalio material:

• Derek Vitalio Seduction Newsletter
• Get The Girlfriend
• Blissnosis Master Program
• Seduction Archetypes
• Seduction Science, 3rd Edition
• Seduction Science eBook
• Deep Inner Game Series