Dictionary.com:

1.            a connection, association, or involvement.

2.            connection between persons by blood or marriage.

3.            an emotional or other connection between people: the relationship between teachers and students.

4.            a sexual involvement; affair.

This entry has no true direction established, yet. But I hope to find one while putting all this black down on the white, and would also, like to develop some sort of understanding along in this “journey.”

I see myself having relationships in the first two, but the latter two are, most certainly, lacking. I’ve found myself, recently, in a relation drought, where I am constantly trying to soak up all the connections I can with everything and anything, but I’m having a very arduous time trying to keep these connections alive. I feel that as soon as I mend myself to something/someone for having a common link between us, I am breaking the ties, and thus, creating another difference.

I see this all as a defense. I’m creating differences to break bonds to others [persons and things] to keep myself preserved in an emotional bell jar, where nothing on the outside can see/feel what I’m in, and I can avoid feeling that of everything on the outside. It doesn’t bother me that I see what I’m doing, well, not as much as it bothers me that others may see what I’m doing and confront it for weakness.

"Don't ever tell anybody anything.  If you do, you start missing everybody."-J.D. Salinger

To connect to things is to find comfort, which doesn’t faze me, but another result would be concern. I don’t want to feel for others, or for others’. I’d rather feel for myself and see everything first hand rather than be taken to awe or mess over another’s acts. To see firsthand is the only way I want to see things, rather than allowing another to act on something then feed it to me, which would put it through two perceptive filters, theirs and mine. Also, to feel an emotion or observe an action, which I relate to another’s wouldn’t be all too revealing to me, and may even taint my thoughts on [insert emotion/act here].

It’d be nice to relate and feel comfortable with another, but to put myself through the repercussions doesn’t seem right, or fair. I’ve been through enough for myself, and dealt with relationships, thus far, with ill-result. The only positive of relating would be that I’d be able to see an act/emotion in the third person and see how another is coping/dealing with their actions and results, which would be intriguing.

I don’t know what else to say on this topic, so I leave you with this:

"Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself." -Henry Miller

Michael

"Hjärtan och tårar"

Hjärtana förefaller stiga uppåt, medan tårarna verkar falla.

Copyright A.Kitaoka 2003 (November 8, 2003)

Läs även andra bloggares åsikter om Hjärnan, Illusioner, Japan, Kitaoka, Kuriosa, Kyoto, Manipulationer, Perception, Prof. Akiyoshi, Psykologi, Synvillor, Underhållning, Varseblivning, Vetenskap

"Rubin's vase-face illusion"
(Kitaoka's 2008 version)

Copyright Akiyoshi Kitaoka 2008 (March 20)

Läs även andra bloggares åsikter om :Hjärnan, Illusioner, Japan, Kitaoka, Kuriosa, Kyoto, Manipulationer, Perception, Prof. Akiyoshi, Psykologi, Rubins vas, Synvillor, Underhållning, Varseblivning, Vetenskap

The road to happiness isn’t paved with our own rejection of self. Don Miguel Ruiz points out that our ability to set a standard of self that is one of perfection a perfection that is not realistic. We need to get to the point of accepting ourselves and qualities as who we are. We can certainly improve our image of self and our image of others. Finding peace with ourselves is an important step to realizing happiness.

Living in a society that continually raises the bar of expectation means that we are under constant pressure to match those around us. Perfection in our mind becomes the standard that we must obtain. Obtaining any level of perfection comes with a price. For many that price is a loss of joy and happiness.

Comparing ourselves with others is a common activity and that can be a catalyst for creating a perception gap in terms of being what we were meant to be. It is easy to find yourself trying to be what others are. Others become the standard especially if there is a belief that they are better from your perspective than you are. To remove that, compare yourself to who you are and what you are capable of doing. Are you doing what you can with what you have to the best of your ability? This is the yardstick that you should be using, one that measures your capabilities against what you are doing.

Ruiz writes, “All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in.” One way to make sure we are living in reality is to stop and take an assessment of our own lives. Assess the values, the desires, and strengths. Are you using your gifts to your advantage?

"Moving Rubin's vase-face images"

Images of Rubin's vase-face illusion appear to move laterally
Det här är alltså ett helt gäng med den klassiska Rubins vas-illusionen,
där man kan se antingen en vas eller två profiler.
Laterally är alltså sidledes. :)
Klicka gärna för
större bild!

Copyright Akiyoshi Kitaoka 2008 (January 14)

Läs även andra bloggares åsikter om :Hjärnan, Illusioner, Japan, Kitaoka, Kuriosa, Kyoto, Manipulationer, Perception, Prof. Akiyoshi, Psykologi, Synvillor, Underhållning, Varseblivning, Vetenskap, Rubins vas

Who am I? What am I doing? Where am I going?

ambiguous visual images are fascinating because it is often difficult to imagine seeing them any other way—until something flips within the brain and the alternative perception is revealed. this phenomenon, known as perceptual rivalry, is of great interest to neuroscience. because rivalrous illusions produce changes in perception that are independent of changes in the stimulus itself, they may help to understand how the brain gives rise to conscious experience.

in order to better illustrate the processes behind consciousness in the brain, these researchers are attempting to create an entirely new type of illusion:

"the most familiar illusions involve vision," explains christopher moore, a principal investigator at the mcgovern institute for brain research at mit and an assistant professor in mit's department of brain and cognitive sciences. "but we're interested in discovering general principles of perception, and we wanted to see whether similar illusions can occur in the tactile domain [...]"

in the visual illusion known as the apparent motion quartet, two dots are presented at diagonally opposite corners of an imaginary square. when the pattern alternates between the two diagonals—top left/bottom right followed by top right/bottom left—people perceive the dots as moving back and forth either horizontally or vertically. after a period of time, typically a minute or two, most observers report that the axis of motion appears to flip from vertical to horizontal or vice versa.

to create a tactile version of this illusion, olivia carter, a postdoctoral researcher at harvard university, and talia konkle, a graduate student in moore's mit lab, used a new piezoelectric stimulator device developed by qi wang and vincent hayward at mcgill university. this device, originally designed as a computer braille display, uses a centimeter-square array composed of 60 "tactors" to deliver precisely controlled touch stimuli to the finger tips of volunteer subjects.

when volunteer subjects were given the diagonally alternating stimuli, they perceived them as moving smoothly back and forth—and just as with the visual illusion, the direction of apparent motion flipped back and forth from vertical to horizontal, on average about twice per minute, even though there was no change in the stimulus itself.

this experiment represents a successful translation of an optical illusion into a tactile illusion. while the concept of the tactile (or "touch") illusion is nothing new, this research may be the first example of an optical illusion being adapted for the sense of touch. for this reason, the experiment will reveal much about how the brain perceives stimulus and how perception can change when stimulus remains constant:

real-world objects often stimulate multiple senses simultaneously, and our brains must combine these disparate stimuli into a unified interpretation of the world. the authors used their tactile illusion to explore the interaction between touch and vision. they instructed their subjects to make vertical or horizontal eye movements during the ambiguous touch stimuli. subjects perceived that the direction of tactile motion shifted into alignment with the direction of the eye movements, but only if the head and finger were also aligned. tilting the head sideways 90 degrees produced a shift to the other direction—suggesting that the tactile and visuomotor systems are somehow aligned with respect to the external world.

"we don't yet understand what's happening in the brain during these illusions," says konkle. "but we think this illusion will be a useful new tool to understand more about the similarities between different sensory modalities and how they all work together."

This blog built a bridge to all of us again; here we are, still pained, haunted; so many questions of why, always why, without it we have nothing. Why is what drives us, compels us, on and on; reaching out; needing, always needing each other. I know this is true on so many more levels, then just blog stats. So believe me when I say I know this blog is for us.

I stand before you now asking your forgiveness; forgiveness for the misuse of a gift. What gift you say, the gift of empathy. I’ve always been able to feel you, all of you; my collective weight. It was why you let me in; why I was able to facilitate change in your life. Every last one of you has admitted it, so I know this is true also. But to facilitate change with agenda is a violation of trust. It was the only way I could feel love that I knew of; that which I desperately wanted to feel; sincerely, I’m so sorry. Please don’t believe you are the only ones that suffer. It is my instant karmic debt, a toddler holding a loaded 45. For every pain, I inflict, I feel as well, wall paper on my soul; now tattered and unrecognizable,

We have left our marks on one another, deep, cutting, but at the same time; comforting. We feel comfort in our pain, its familiarity, without it we lose the image of ourselves; that which we show ourselves and to the rest of the world. We play many roles in our personal movies, but in the close relationships, the ones that burn in smoldering ashes; one is always the good and the other bad. The ego demands this of us so we can survive. I tell you this now, I am not a bad guy but a seriously fucked up good guy; perhaps you already know this; another image for sure.

For some part of me that shines, the intangible; the thing that made us smile; you must have felt that as well and know the truth when I speak it. So I’m asking you one last time to trust me, there is no where left for me to turn except to you. There is someone I wish to stand before as a clean slate and the only way to that canvass is through the old; its tapestry of black and gray must go. I wish us to stand on the edge and throw that which we made into the abyss of illusion; this is not who we are. We are the eternal spirit that is one, this is our truth and I wish to embrace it. I am asking you to come on this journey with me. Let us free ourselves of this pain which isn’t real. Let us be done with the veiled hate that lurks underneath the ache; only love is eternal, that which never changes; that which is on the other side of all the weight, hurt and justifications; is where we find peace.

I will do this without you if I have to; you know this as well, my will can be put to good use when it’s aligned correctly and its potential is limitless. But I want you to come with me. I want your pain to go away. It will be our last journey in this illusion, our karmic debt has been paid and we must continue on in the process of waking up. Let us do it without the weight of our hopeless entanglement. I have said goodbye to you before in anger but could not stay away, only the truth must do.

This will indeed, be my last entry. I do it with hope and dedication; a desire to heal and a final asking and giving of forgiveness; from myself and all of you. Do you think we could stand and smile at one another as we say goodbye? Could we do that, would we want to? I want to, I want to try.

Please try with me
One …Two
Thre……………

"Ögon och tunnlar"

Hoppas att du inte börjar ledsna på tunnelillusioner än, för här kommer ytterligare en, hehe..
De två figurerna är identiska och kan ses antingen som ett par ögon eller två tunnlar. När man ser dem som ögon, verkar de vara konvexa och bukta sig uppåt, mot betraktaren, men om man väljer "tunnelseende" istället, blir bilden istället konkav till sin karaktär och "avlägsnar sig" från betraktaren.

Copyright Akiyoshi Kitaoka 2008 (July 16)

Läs även andra bloggares åsikter om :Hjärnan, Illusioner, Japan, Kitaoka, Kuriosa, Kyoto, Manipulationer, Perception, Prof. Akiyoshi, Psykologi, Synvillor, Underhållning, Varseblivning, Vetenskap

In contemporary society, there exists the dangerous possibility that the mass media could become hijacked by corporate giants and possibly used as a weapon for marketing and conveying information that either directly or indirectly conditions individuals, whether or not they are aware of it, and influences public perceptions and popular notions of truth. In other words, there is the danger of considerable misinformation if the corporate media focuses only on a select portion of reality, or distorts it beyond due proportion, like a small misty window which restricts one from viewing the bigger picture. By limiting the scope of reality to a select portion, there is the risk that the corporate media may have the power to restrict, control and regulate the flow of information. The totality of information which is vital to establishing a clear view of the reality or a full understanding of events and their implications. Information which influences a person's attitude formation and perception of events and figures in society.

Now I'm only talking about the possibility of this occurrence, that is, the possibility that the mass media, an influential figure in terms of information, could be hijacked and misused for propaganda. Which is why I am not posting any specific accusation against any media organization, rather encouraging media viewers to be cautious of what they perceive to be true from the information attained from various media sources.

The potential abuse of media power in controlling a limited flow of information would in turn mean that public perceptions, attitudes and even behaviours are based on limited knowledge, without a general awareness of the 'bigger picture.' J.R.R. Tolkien, in his literary work, The Lord of the Rings illustrates the effect of acting on limited information. Through the mystical Palantir (representative of media) various characters see what they perceive to be reality. However, what they perceive is only a tiny portion of the 'bigger picture' and so, based on la limited understanding the characters' draw the wrong conclusions and thereby act upon their limited knowledge resulting in disastrous consequences. For example, the chief nemesis of the narrative, Sauron, sees his adversary Aragorn through the Palantir and acts on the perceived reality that Aragorn possesses the Ring. This is not true and results in Sauron performing a hasty motion which ultimately contributes to his destruction. Tolkien highlights quite clearly the potential fatal consequences of acting on limited knowledge. Brian Sibley, author of The Lord of the Rings: the Making of the Movie Trilogy, reflects on this in the documentary film J.R.R. Tolkien: The Legacy of Middle-earth. He states:

"It's a very modern concept in a way. It's the concept of misinformation. ... And it so reflects how modern communication can give people a fraction of something and by so doing influence the way in which they react - the way in which they behave. ... You may not have enough knowledge to be able to have just that one bit of information that would totally transform your supposition about the way things are."

In his book, Propaganda, Edward L. Bernays illustrates how media can be abused as a channel for conveying various manifestations of propaganda and influencing the mass public. He states that, "If we understand that the mechanism and motives of the group mind, is it not possible to control and regiment the masses according to our will without their knowing about it?" Bernays further highlights the influence of media on an audience, stating that, "We are governed, our minds molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." As musician John Kellermann points out in his song The New Pearl Harbour, "If you get your views from television news, you'll only hear stories that corporations choose. You'll only get to see what they want to see."

Today, seemingly as always, modern media runs the risk of being hijacked and used (or rather misused) as a weapon of mass deception against the public. There exists the possibility of its perversion into a propaganda and marketing machine; perhaps confining one's view of reality to a limited scope (or bubble) of tightly controlled information. You've heard it said, 'Don't always believe what you see on T.V.' Look beyond the confines of 'the box' and see the bigger picture. Think outside the square.

I write this not as an accusatory piece reveling against all forms and organizations of media, but rather like many of my posts as a piece of contemplation - something to think on.

http://kedarsoman.wordpress.com/2008/07/18/its-the-policy-stupid/

When India became independent, we copied our policies and regulations mostly from Britain. Britain has this thing called "Opt In" policy, where if you wish to donate your organs, you need to sign papers saying you wish to do so.

While just a few hundred Kilometers away from Britain, there is Spain. Spain has what they called "Opt out" policy. So by default you are considered organ donor and your organs are harvested at your death. But if you do not want to donate organs, you have to sign papers saying that explicitly.

Result? Spain has a lot higher rate of organ donation.

-Aditya Raghuwanshi

All Along the Watchtower

There must be some kind of way out of here
Said the joker to the thief
Theres too much confusion
I cant get no relief
Businessman they drink my wine
Plow men dig my earth
None will level on the line
Nobody of it is worth
Hey hey

No reason to get excited
The thief he kindly spoke
There are many here among us
Who feel that life is but a joke but uh
But you and I weve been through that
And this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now
The hours getting late
Hey

Hey

All along the watchtower
Princes kept the view
While all the women came and went
Bare-foot servants to, but huh
Outside in the cold distance
A wild cat did growl
Two riders were approachin
And the wind began to howl
Hey
Oh
All along the watchtower
Hear you sing around the watch
Gotta beware gotta beware I will
Yeah
Ooh baby
All along the watchtower

more here

The Constraint of the Call, VerseVisions Art; 1 Corinthians 9:16, originally uploaded by Mark Lawrence.

"Woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!" 1 Corinthians 9:16

This painting was inspired by the moving devotions penned and published by Oswald Chambers in the early 1900’s. His powerful book, My Utmost for His Highest, continues to touch my life and draw me closer to Jesus. I hope that this art and verse do the same for you!

Read the devotional from My Utmost For His Highest that inspired this work.

The Constraint of the Call, VerseVisions® Art; 1 Corinthians 9:16. Mark Lawrence, 2008. Digital mixed media on canvas, 36 x 36 inches. Copyright © 2008 by Mark Lawrence. All Rights Reserved

Large contemporary Christian paintings by artist Mark Lawrence of Alpharetta, Georgia.

Giclee Fine Art Prints of this VerseVisions® work are available in the VerseVisions Gallery.

I first read Out of the Silent Planet when I was a student, over twenty years ago, and it made a huge impression on me at the time. I've re-read it since, a couple of times, the most recent occasion being earlier this summer, and one curious thing I've found is that the book appears to have shrunk, over the last two decades. Not in a literal sense, obviously, as the number of words probably hasn't changed, but what I mean is that the events of the story seem to take place over a much shorter time frame than before. What seemed like a tale of numerous adventures, journeys and encounters across the exotic surface of Mars now appears briefer, far more condensed.

And my point? It is that so much depends on our perceptions. The book hasn't changed, but I have. And fundamentally this is one of the things the book is all about - a perceptual shift.

Out of the Silent Planet is on one level a voyage to another world, and CS Lewis was going in 1938 where authors such as HG Wells and Jules Verne had already ventured. The hard science part is barely there; for instance the space ship, into which Ransom is bundled by his kidnappers Weston and Devine, and which transports the trio to another planet, is powered by processes that are never described. (This, in itself, is not a failing, in my opinion. HG Wells invented a fictitious material - Cavorite - to get his adventurers to the Moon, and Jules Verne simply fired his space travellers out of a giant cannon.) Malacandra is a dying world, like so many other early visions of Mars, a place where life arose before it did on Earth and is now in a state of decline; not a particularly new idea.

No, what sets Out of the Silent Planet apart is what happens to middle-aged professor Elwin Ransom - and by extension to the rest of us, because despite his academic background, Ransom is a type of Everyman figure. Abducted by his old school acquaintance Devine and the sinister Weston, Ransom is taken across the gulf of space to Malacandra, where the others have established a base, consisting of a rudimentary hut. Why are they doing this? So that Ransom can be delivered up as a kind of human sacrifice, in return for Malacandrian gold.

In the absence of any real information, he is understandably terrified at what might be about to happen to him at the hands of the menacing natives, the sorns or séroni. He breaks away, and starts to flee across the confusing landscape of this alien world. And this is where his transformation starts.

I don't want to reveal much more about the story, for fear of ruining it completely for readers who haven't yet had the pleasure. But I have some observations about aspects of the novel where Lewis's writing seems psychologically true to life.

Firstly, as Ransom runs for his life across the surface of Malacandra, he experiences the landscape as a confusing blur of strange colours and shapes, as the vegetation is utterly unfamiliar to him and the creatures even more so. The total sense of disorientation is convincing, because we tend to see the world as a collection of familiar constructs. We don't see an expanse of rugged brown stuff crowned by masses of flat greenish tendrils; we see an oak tree, because "oak tree" is a discrete concept we are familiar with.

In a similar way, people who are blind from birth and who later become able to see, find the visual world a perplexing mass of colours and shapes until they learn to perceive things. It is also reminiscent of the (probably apocryphal) stories of native Americans unable to see Columbus's sailing ships, as they were completely outside their experience. Perception is something that we learn; it is a human skill, like language.

In time, Ransom meets the Malacandrians, and eventually he rejoins his fellow travellers from Thulcandra, the Silent Planet (Earth.) On the outside, he is little different to how he was before. But on the inside...

We experience culture shock when we are taken out of our familiar surroundings and placed in a foreign land, with foreign people. Everything seems wrong, strange, even threatening. There are degrees of foreignness - for the average native English person, Paris is foreign but manageably so, Istanbul is somewhat further along the scale and a Mongolian yurt must be at some sort of apex of pure foreignness for those used to suburban streets, corner shops and Victorian terraces.

Now place the same English person on Malacandra, with its séroni, hrossa and pfifltriggi! And yet we adapt. Although Ransom never quite loses his instinctive feelings of apprehension when dealing with the spindly, feathered séroni, he arrives at the knowledge that these are neither monstrosities nor bizarre talking animals but hnau, or rational beings. They have undergone a radical transformation in his mind.

Weston and Devine also undergo a transformation. For where there is culture shock, there is also reverse culture shock. The familiar becomes strange and by living in foreign parts we become assimilated by foreignness, which gives us the freedom to see our native culture with fresh eyes. That also goes for our fellow natives. At first Ransom is unable to see his erstwhile kidnappers; having become accustomed to Malacandra, he is aware of a couple of approaching bipedal oddities covered in strange growths, and it takes him a while to realise these are humans.

I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of his book; there's just so much more. I haven't mentioned Lewis's Christianity, his depiction of a world where three kinds of sentient life form live in harmony and his ridiculing of imperialism - this review could easily have been ten times its current length. Suffice it to say that Out of the Silent Planet occupies a special place in my heart; although I tend to resonate more with the writings of HG Wells, there is something about Lewis's vision of a universe inhabited by benevolent spirits (eldil) and rational beings that touches me - would that even a part of it were true.

© Alex Cull, 9th July 2008

(This is a book review I posted on Planet Bookworm earlier this month.)

What women really think.
I am of course referring to the blog regarding "What women really think."

As if I care what women think...

Usually I don't bother arguing or debating with women, mostly because they're generally morons, but also because I'd rather be fucking and degrading them, but this time was a little different, I compiled my own little letter to the "women of the world". I think you'll enjoy it.

Rather than become frightened by scary images and themes in my dreams, I learned to confront them head-on. As a result, my ability to "wake up" in my dreams grew stronger. My dream memory was also strengthened as I recorded the contents of my dream-stories in a small leather-bound journal. The more I wrote, the more vivid my dreams would become, and the more I began to learn about myself. In retrospect, the greatest lesson I learned throughout this short-lived experiment, was that regardless of the symbols or allegories each dream presented, it was up to me to decide what meaning they held for me in the context of my life at that moment. This was both liberating and frightening at the same time.

To become the creator of one's own reality is a powerful concept. The way in which we interpret each moment determines our perceived reality. However, there are an infinite number of ways to interpret the same moment. There are an infinite variety of viewpoints in any given situation, and unlimited potential realities relative to each point of view. So what's the point?

The point is, our perception IS our reality. When we make the choice to see things from multiple perspectives in each present moment, more choices become available to us. The bigger picture becomes more detailed, the resolution increases. One dimension becomes two, and two dimensions become three, etc. We become creators of our reality when we break the cycle of our one-dimensional perception.

Change your perspective, change your reality.

Choose your perspective, choose your reality.

Do You See Your Calling? VerseVisions Art; Romans 1:1, originally uploaded by Mark Lawrence.

"Separated unto the Gospel." Romans 1:1

I sometimes get so caught up in trying to be good in the eyes of God. I find myself so preoccupied with my own inner behavior that I lose sight of what God has called me to do first and foremost- proclaim the Gospel.

I justify this by thinking that there is no way that I can be used by God to witness to others until I clean up all of the garbage within myself. The truth is, if I wait until I am personally “holy”, I will never be of any use to God here on earth. God is very interested in reaching and saving His lost children, yet I am more interested in how He can make me more pleasing in my own eyes.

Father God, forgive me for my selfishness and pour into me your passion and urgency to proclaim the Gospel of Salvation through Jesus Christ.

This painting was inspired by the powerful devotions penned and published by Oswald Chambers in the early 1900’s. His powerful book, My Utmost for His Highest, continues to touch my life and draw me closer to Jesus. I hope that this art and verse do the same for you!

Read the devotional from My Utmost For His Highest that inspired this work.

Do You See Your Calling? VerseVisions® Art; Romans 1:1. Mark Lawrence, 2008. Digital mixed media on canvas, 36 x 36 inches. Copyright © 2008 by Mark Lawrence. All Rights Reserved

Inspiring contemporary Christian paintings by artist Mark Lawrence of Alpharetta, Georgia.

Giclee Fine Art Prints of this VerseVisions® work are available in the VerseVisions Gallery.

There is no past. They're just shadows we call memories. There's no future either ... the occasional glimmer of hope. All we really have a shot at holding on to is right here, right now.
--Jeremiah--

Jackson has been pretty much saying that  same thing everyday to help me get through detox. It's not that I was not hearing the words, it is not that I did not understand them either. How can I  simply explain;  I was just not there yet to believe them.

My anxiety is a fierce enemy and these days, that is all that has been tainting my every moment.  I am not gonna apologize or try to minimize what I have wrote since I started detox (and certainly not what came before it either).  I vowed to myself that I would not censure my posts in any shape or form.  I did not want to rewrite entries in shame or worse, delete them in fear that people would  judge me.  There is one thing I realize that never changed about me, one thing that is constant: my need to be truly authentic to myself.

That is , I  think in part , what drove me to share this "Vision Quest". I am on Day 7 and still going...  It does not have to be an isolated solo experience. This is one of the ways I can actually make sense of -all- of this. The detox is just a really intense sojourn within.  I think I might have felt bad about being who I am. Not just because some people were mean to me, but also because I have been afraid that even my loved ones will come to see me as an oddity that you refer to in social occasions or that I would alienate them with my spiritual views, perceptions, beliefs and concepts of reality.  But if people can't handle who I am and are annoyed by my personnality and quirks what business do they have being my friends in the first place, right?  So I decided today to give it a rest and try my best to stop worrying about it.

My brother Markus Thorne sent me a email with some insights on how he sees things; they were essentials of Buddhism.  I have come across the  Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path before, I have read tons of books on the subject.  I have been  moved, I have been touched by the words, but  it is easy to forget those wise words while in the middle of a crisis.  I am not going to make a expose on Buddhism here, but I want to tell you about  the moments of  clarity I had .  There was certainly a lot of resonance between me and the universe,  I got to a point, one glorious moment where I got to taste the beauty of Stillness and Silence within myself.

The first part that struck me is the "Four Noble Truths".

1. Suffering exists
2. Suffering arises from attachment to desires
3. Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases (I rid myself of dependency)
4. Freedom from suffering is possible by practicing the Eightfold Path

Obviously since I have been in such distress because of a lifetime worth of personal suffering has come back to the surface in the past few days, I got interested in it.  I acknowledge suffering in life but I am not at peace; it ends up paralyzing me because there is such a storm in my mind.  If  I want it to make sense again for me, If to live is what I wish I have to change a few mindsets that are unhealthy and self-destructive.

The second part that struck me is "Friends on the way to freedom". More precisely the words "Equanimity: My mind and spirit are still". I knew that this has been missing; when I saw that its far enemy is anxiety it made perfect sense to me.  Again, Jackson has been telling me for days now to "observe the pain", to study it instead of letting it rule me.   The boundless state of equanimity (or tranquility)  serves as an antidote for the quality mentioned as the far enemy, in that case anxiety. The boundless states (brahmaviharas) are considered friends on the way to enlightenment (Nirvana). They help in dissolving the idea of a separate self.

1. Loving kindness: Sister Theresa is an extreme example
2. Compassion: I feel for others within the limits of my resources
3. Sympathetic Joy: I am happy as much for others as for myself
4. Equanimity: My mind and spirit are still

Now since this is not light reading and that frankly concentrating and putting sentences together has been a challenge, I gave it as rest at that point and we started to watch episodes of the serie "Jeremiah".  It is a really good short running show with Luke Perry and Malcolm-Jamal Warner.  It is a post apocalyptic setup where everyone above the "age of innocence" (so every adult) died from a virus that the now grown-up kids are calling "the Big Death" fifteen years later.  They are struggling to survive and to understand.  Fairly standard but really well made.  Great acting, very insightful too. Jeremiah and Kurdy are the two main characters we follow. They both have their own demons to battle, they both had to struggle to survive, they both have scars that have not heal and life is still not easy for them.  I liked it from the beginning but I could not shake off that there was more than just a simple interest; it was poking at something real hard yet there was something comforting about it.  In the episode "Out of the Ashes" our heroes end up living their adventure separately: Jeremiah find an old friend that got involved with a woman that is quite bitter about her past and Kurdy ends up defending a library from some fanatics that believe that knowledge and therefore book must be destroyed because they are a plague.  It's not just that they both ended up giving some great speech with wonderful insight that was fitting right into what I needed to hear,  what I realized goes beyond that.

It is goes to the deep core of my perception of the world.  Now what I am going to say now troubled me at first but,  I know there is nothing wrong with it now; it's just who I am.  In the show the big affliction was the Big Death that wiped out every single adult on the planet in a matter of weeks. In every post-apocalyptic scenarios you will have, no matter what the cataclysm was, essentially the same themes that will come back: people on the run, survival, healing wounds, rebuilding lives, trust  and relationships, love, hate, lust pushed to the extreme, etc.  I think I have always seen the world and therefore my life, for as long as I can remember, as being what people would consider science fantasy, a dying Earth scenario,  a  somewhat  dystopian adventure where magick is present. It is not that it has dictated who I am;  it feels more real to me than a meaningless consummation driven,  shamelessly empty life.  I believe that I have been fighting so hard to fit in by trying to forget , repress by will and medication what I know is my truth so I could feel safe.  I have been afraid to be considered insane, to have people in position of authority crushing me like a bug if I would dare to run with it.  I have feared that friends and love one  would just turn their back on me because if I was to express with conviction all the wonderful  highly unusual things I have seen, felt and experience they might have me locked up "for my own good".  I stopped talking about those things because a few people I care deeply about got frightened by it.  I guess I took upon myself that I was what they where scared about.  But I see that it was never about me because those are isolated cases; none of you  ever looked at me as being delusional, on the contrary,  I am loved and respected.  I am getting rid of the self-destructive thought patterns I have associated with this and I release the anger, the heartbreak and the pain.

For now, I will leave you on that: I seriously need to sleep.

it sounds nasty, but really, it's nastiness is cancelled out by how utterly hilarious it is.

"Gas-lighting involves an increasing frequency of systematically withholding factual information from, and/or providing false information to the subject, having the gradual effect of making the victim anxious, confused, and less able to trust his or her own memory and perception. A variation of gas-lighting, used as a form of harassment, is to subtly alter aspects of a victim's environment, thereby upsetting his or her peace of mind, sense of security, etc."

So how does one go about gas-lighting the woman folk? Well, many a man has asked me this question. And many a man is about to get his answer, because I've written a short 5 stage guide to gas-lighting women.

Stage I

Picking your target.

Women with low self-esteem and father issues are usually good choices. Mostly because they deserve it, and also because a woman with low self-esteem will put up little or no resistance to your hilarious onslaught of mental abuse. Their father issues should tie in nicely, especially if you portray yourself as a man's man, a confident asshole. Go on, walk all over her, she deserves it for letting you anyway. If people didn't want to be walked all over they'd grow a back bone and put a stop to it.

Stage II

Ease your target in gently. You can't just jump right in there and shave her in her sleep and tell her she got a haircut yesterday wanting a change. It won't work, and you'll ruin your chances of turning her into a mindless drone who accepts unconditionally whatever you say. Start off slowly.

Here are some ideas to get you going:

Make her tea instead of coffee, then tell her she asked for tea.
Continually get her coke instead of diet coke and tell her you got her diet coke, and she's just imagining a taste difference.
Move her shoes around, not a lot, just enough to make it noticeable.
Move her money around, change notes for coins.
Tell her your taking her to a restaurant, say, The Fat Buddha Chinese restaurant, at 7pm, then stand outside The Watermargin, and send an angry text about how she's always late, then leave. In the ensuing argument, make sure you make it clear that you said "The Watermargin."

Stage III

Move into a moderate level of gas-lighting, move furniture around, keep on doing the little things, but to a lesser extent, during this stage, you'll find she puts up less of a fight, and is a lot less secure in herself. She'll start to agree with you.

"Yea, maybe the couch was always sitting beside the fireplace."
"Maybe I'm just imagining things, we must have always owned a parrot."
"Oh, I suppose you're right, I guess I did always keep my clothes in the garden shed."

Stage IV

Start cutting her hair in her sleep. Or painting her toe nails different colours. It's preferable to do both, but if you don't have the balls after coming this far you'll never be the next Gregory Peck.

Stage V

It's generally accepted by practitioners of the technique that the final stage of gas-lighting should consist of either:

Shitting all over her bed and telling her she did it herself and that you watched her.

Or

Build a light-house/wind mill around the house, and tell her she's always lived in a light-house/wind mill, because she loves the sea/country side.

Finally

All your hard work is about to pay off, your target is about to have a complete mental breakdown, she will probably strip naked climb into the freezer and start hugging a frozen turkey, muttering incoherently to herself, pay her no mind, act like it's normal, then section her.
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This is meant for the purpose of hilarity educational purposes only, and I am not responsible for what you do with this information. Any man who gaslights women, or who has the urge to gaslight women, is super-cool and gets 10 man points for each successful gas-lighting, as awarded by Virgil Hart, and 500 man points for each woman forced into a mental breakdown should probably seek professional help...

Eastenders and Coronation Street suck massive donkey dick, this is not an opinion, it is fact.

That's not really what I'm going to write about however. I am, in fact, going to write about how I don't care if they stereotype ethnic minorities, and how you shouldn't either. Regardless of whether or not you're from an ethnic minority.

If Eastenders were to feature a grumpy, Irish, alcoholic who worked in the Docks, I wouldn't give a shit. I wouldn't take offence.

Why? Just because I'm Irish does not mean I go crying like a little bitch boy anytime somebody portrays an Irish man as being a drunk who sees leprechauns. I am a drunk, and quite often I drink to the point of seeing leprechauns, I find the stereotype itself hilarious enough for me to overlook the "racism."

And I only use the word "racism" here because I can think of no other word for what I see this as.

In reality I do not see this as racist, it is not racist to portray an Irish man as an alcoholic in a drama, nor is it racist to portray an Islamic fundamentalist as a gung ho terrorist trying to hijack a plane in a terrorist movie.

Why?

Because Islamic Fundamentalists do, on occasion, hijack planes and blow up American embassies, because Irish men do on occasion drink, because Indian men do, on occasion, own small corner shops, and because sometimes, it just so happens, that Jewish families, are really fucking wealthy.

So welcome to the real world you politically correct wanker.

In the real world, we do not gouge our eyes out before leaving the house in order to never know a man's skin colour, in the real world, I notice a black man in the street, as exactly that, a black man, I don't know what I should call him, black? coloured? negro? I don't know the terms, nor do I care, so I stick with black, because that's what he is, just like I'm white.

It's not racist to notice people's skin colour. It's not racist to portray certain races as having certain characteristics, because that's not what anybody in Eastenders was trying to do. There was no grand scheme plotted up by writers to portray ethnic minorities in a bad way, God knows there'd be a shit-storm if they did. It's not in their interests.

The most probable reason they've portrayed ethnic minorities in a "stereotyped fashion," is that they literally did not think about the fact that they were, for example, portraying a Jew as wealthy, or an English man as loud, or an Irish man as drunk... etc.

The people who make it an issue, i.e., those who decree, that BECAUSE this man is Indian, you have DELIBERATELY portrayed him as owning a corner shop, are the racists, you're the ones making that connection, when in reality, they cast an Indian man presumably because he was the best for the job. (I'm using this as an example of course, as I have no idea what goes on in Coronation Street or Eastenders, because both series are complete common pleb dirge.)

"It found that US imports have more credible representations of minorities, with viewers praising shows such as Heroes, Lost, ER and even the Simpsons."
here's a couple of short character biographies for the Simpsons.

Homer: stupid, fat, bald American. The perfect stereotype of an American man.

Ned Flanders, and the Flanders family: Typical ridiculously religious American family. Yet another lovely stereotype.

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: An Indian man, who owns a convenience store, is in an arranged marriage, and has over five children... Yes, that's not an ethnic stereotype at all!

Groundskeeper Willy: Scottish, drunk, ginger and very angry.

Fat Tony: Italian mafia.

DR. Julius Hibbert and Bleeding Gums Murphey : The stereotypically thick voice of a black blues man.

The Muntz and Spuckler families: Rednecks

So far we have every American portrayed as religious zealots, rednecks, or fat and stupid. With the Italians all being Mafia members, the blacks all being in some way connected to blues, the Indians having convenience stores with lots of kids and arranged marriages, and the Scottish are drunks... Yea, the Simpsons totally doesn't use stereotypes at all!

The best part about this is, 1., stereotypes are used for comic value, the writers even stereotype their own races and religions, deal with it, 2., It's funny how those involved in the report picked up on none of this, showing just how unconnected with modern culture they really are, and most importantly 3., we can find stereotypes whether man-made, or coincidence everywhere. Just learn to fucking live with it, and shut the fuck up, please stop crying because somebody portrayed the Jews as rich, when you are a Jew, we all fucking know that not every Jew is rich!

"Viewers cited Asian corner shop owner Dev in Coronation Street and black single mother Denise, who had two children by two different fathers in Eastenders, as examples of stereotyping and tokenism in soaps."

Well, that's what happens when you have a fucking retarded audience. Do you know why they called Dev Asian, because not one fucking member of the idiot public knew where he was from, and they were inundated with mass mail of people taking wild guesses! You're essentially saying, "You just stereotyped Asiains", you realise how dumb that is?! You cann't not stereotype a geographical landmass that fucking big, it's too fucking vast, no matter how they portrayed the Asian man in this drama, they're bound to fucking hit at least one stereotype because of the vast wealth of different cultures that can be found in fucking Asia! So don't fucking complain that, "they stereotyped that Asian man Dev." It makes you look like a moron, since you've no idea where he's from and exactly how he's being steretyped. Learn where the fuck he's from first, then complain.

Jesus fucking Christ.

I hate the idiot public.

And as for Denise, yea, because when we think of black stereotypes, we think of sluttish women... That's really what we fucking think of. JUST FUCKING NO.

"Ethnic minority viewers accused all broadcasters of tokenism and stereotyping, screening exaggerated and extreme representations of minorities and failing to reflect modern ethnic minority culture."

Oh really?

Then go make your own fucking show, or buy fucking virgin, and order some fucking foreign channels. We cannot continually meet every ethnic demand, all the fucking time, it's just not economically viable, we just don't have the fucking time to make every fucking show on fucking TV. accurate in every fucking respect, nor should we ever fucking have to. I don't like English television, so guess what I do, and this is a really fuckin' novel idea, I don't fucking watch it, or I get RT-fucking-E.

Here's the bottom line, political correctness, was meant to make us appreciate our differences, and learn from one another and learn about other cultures. But instead it's turned into a ridiculous spray of judicial bullets being blindly fired into our nation. Learn to deal with the fact that every race carries with it specific stereotypes, ignore said stereotypes, and stop thinking about them.

Stop fucking looking for them at every corner you turn, nobody cares about you, or your race. Nobody actively tries to stereotype you, it's just that this PC bullshit has gone way too far, and now everybody ploughs into every aspect of our society they can in order to create division in the name of controversy...

Just fuck up, everyone. Regardless of what race you are, English, Indian, Pakistani, Irish, Scottish, if you whine about something not being politically correct, just fucking shoot yourself, get off my mortal fucking coil.

The full story can be found at :
http://uk.tv.yahoo.com/17072008/19/shows-criticised-stereotyping.html

~ Epictetus