I remember this other girl in my class with red ringlets, saddle shoes and a school uniform. In retrospect I feel sorry for those transplants from England who wore their uniforms, not realizing how they would stick out instead of blend in. Calgary in those days have very few private schools, at least in the area where we lived.

Margaret Parsons was probably shyer and more awkward than me. I took a good look at her one day and thought, if I stay the way I am I'll be like her. Or I can change. The change was at least twofold. It involved building a harder shell about myself so the jibes of the insensitve couldn't get through. I became a bit of a joker, and teased my friends. I almost did this too much and hurt a few feelings before I learned to temper the humor.

The first stage started happening in grade 7, which was the beginning of junior high for us. The second stage was in grade 9, the last year of junior high. I started to wear brighter colors besides soft blues and beiges, believing that if I brightened my look it would bring me out more. And in fact that's what happened. Grade 9 was still a bit of the process of become bolder and by the end of high school I was more outgoing.

I continued this into art college. I hit a plateau for a while of being less awkward, more fashionably secure and sociable to an acceptable level. But if anyone had ever told me I would act or read anything in front of a group of people, I would have laughed and said impossible.

Eventually, as I began to write more I thought of reading my poetry. The prospect was terrifying but at a fairly small venue of the Burnaby Writers' Society I got up and read a couple of poems. I'm sure I stammered, I turned beet red and my throat became so dry from nervousness that I actually choked on my words. But I did it, feeling mortified but also brave.

After that first leap, I continued to read. I continued to wear bright colors and today, if you ask anyone, no one would think I was ever shy. Perhaps I'm too bold in some ways but I made a conscious effort to change myself. I'm still going through that process. In fact, I think it never ends. The changes are different now and don't involve colors as much as redecorating the interior.

That

Maybe their ceretoniney level things are all gone and that's why they're so mean.

Maybe that's why they can't love people like I can...

xxdruxx

  I went to a festival in Phoenix called the Rainbows Festival (http://www.rainbowsfestival.com/). It was like another gay pride but without the parade and was free to get in. It was fun, but as I was looking the crowds (I love to people watch, ok fine, I was guy watching too) I realized that I didn't know anyone there! Thousand+ people and here I was alone (yet once again - I so hate doing things alone). This is the problem with living out in Gilbert (Thanks dad) with no car. I so want to live closer and not for the bars. This weekend was the first time I had been in a bar for years. I learned long ago that I wasn't going to find a partner in a bar. But for the gay bowling leagues, the HIV+ groups, for friends that I don't have sex with (not knocking this), for community, etc.

  So now I will try harder to get my bills under control and to find a job so that I can crawl out this hole and perhaps do some wandering, exploring the county and meeting new people.

  I'll tell you all about the rest of my Phoenix trip later today. I just got the urge to write this now, so I took the time to jot down my ramblings.

There are so many who do such incredible things to raise awareness about breast cancer. I've been searching for just the right group to share their ideas on how to help...and I think I've found them.

Meet the Etsy Angels. The Etsy Angels are a Self-Representing Team of Artisans that create a variety of unique handmade items including Artisan Jewelry, Lampwork Glass and Polymer Clay Beads, Bath and Body Products, Quilts, Knits and Plush, and Paper Products to name a few.

This unique team was formed after the many hours spent together promoting for Dawn’s Boys; an effort that began in late December 2007 after a Jewelry artist who was on both Etsy and Ebay lost her life in an automobile accident. She left behind two little boys. Several "Angels" came together to help. After spending countless hours promoting donations from more people than they could imagine that wanted to help, many friendships were made. They couldn’t imagine it all ending without creating a Team for Dawn’s Angels. ♥

This month, the Etsy Angels are donating a portion of their proceeds to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
You can view their complete profile by going to the following link:
http://team.etsy.com/profilest/angels.shtml

You can also visit their Blog for more information about the Team and what they've been up to!
http://etsyangelsteam.blogspot.com/

Here are just a few of my favorites from the shops of these wonderful girls!

"DUMMA I SKALLEN"

Förra veckan skrev jag att det inte finns mycket som retar mig hos andra personer. Det är fortfarande sant. Men samtidigt är man bara människa, så visst finns det undantag till regeln. Det jag talar om är de där små egenheter som vissa personer har som tycks få ens blod att börja koka. Du vet vad jag menar, eller hur? I mitt fall står hänsynslöshet och nedskräpning högt på listan av irriterande företeelser.

I den gula faktarutan står det att det värsta jag vet är högmod och själviskhet. Jag vill påstå att dessa tillsammans utgör grunden för en människas hänsynslöshet. För när man tror sig stå över andra personer samt i första hand alltid ser till sitt eget bästa då brister man i hänsyn.

Detta ger sig uttryck på en mängd olika sätt, men det finns situationer som är särskilt avslöjande – i lokaltrafiken. Hur många gånger har vi inte sett hur en äldre dam, till exempel, stiger på en fullsatt buss och ingen reser sig för att ge henne en plats. Få är det som ens tycks se henne.

Ett annat exempel är när tunnelbaneföraren ber folk att gå längre in i vagnen så påstigande kan få plats. Oftast talar han tyvärr till tomma öron, för de flesta står bestämt kvar. Det är ju trots allt deras plats. Resultatet blir att det står ett gäng packade sardiner vid dörrarna samtidigt som det är helt tomt i vagnens mittgång. Inte nog med det, men när man ska stiga av så tycks flera påstigande har gjort en pakt om att inte låta avstigande gå ut innan de själva går in först. Väldigt logiskt?

Det där kan man älta länge om, men nedskräparna måste vi också nämna. I somras när vi var på Gröna Lund gick en ung kille förbi mig och råkade tappa (tyckte jag) en stor, halväten klubba på marken. ”Ursäkta mig,” sa jag, ”men du tappade något!” Då fick jag se två stora, onda ögon – som tillhörde hans mamma. ”Dra åt…” tycktes de säga. Sedan tog hon pojken i handen och ryckte honom därifrån. Jag stod kvar som ett frågetecken. Och klubban, den låg också kvar.

Att göra allt ”rätt” i livet är självfallet inte enkelt. Men låt säga att om man ändå skulle vilja försöka komma en bit på vägen, skulle man då inte börja med det som var enklast? Att ta sitt skräp och slänga det i papperskorgen, är inte det en sådan sak? Det klarar till och med min tvååring.

Jag kanske är ute och snurrar, men jag ser en tragisk symbolik här: om vi inte ens kan ta vara på vårt vanliga skräp – som är enkelt att hantera – hur ska vi då kunna ta itu med det svåra skräpet som alltid dyker upp i livet.

Nyligen var jag ute med mina söner och klippte gräset och städade upp omkring radhusområdet. Vi slogs av hur mycket skräp det låg överallt.

”Visst är det tråkigt hur folk förstör med allt sitt skräp,” sa jag.

”Mmm…” suckade Isak, ”dom är dumma i skallen!”

”Dumma i skallen?” frågar jag.

”Ja, man kan ju inte säga att dom är dumma i huvet, för det är nästan som är svära åt dom.”

Ja, det är väl så, tänkte jag efter ha skrattat färdigt: nedskräpare är människor de också – även om de är lite dumma i skallen.

GUEST BLOGGER

Here at P.A.A., we like overturning rocks and digging in the dirt. But let's face it, sometimes we need a extra hand in getting to the bottom of things. Starting this week, we will be welcoming guest bloggers, whom we hope will expose us and our readers to some fresh new ideas. Our inaugural guest blogger is especially near and dear to us. As CEO of Infinia Foresight, and overall awesome boss, Craig shares our child-like curiosity for combing culture. So without further adieu, here are Craig's thoughts on food and finance... --Johnny

At a birthday gathering for my son's classmate in the New York 'burbs this weekend, I struck up a conversation with a dad who runs a party and catering service. Naturally, given the headlines, the conversation turned to the economy, to the banking and credit crisis, and how all of it was effecting his very economy- (and finance industry)-dependent small business.

It turns out that he's doing fairly well. His business held "flat" vs. last year in September, which he counted as a major success, and he remains optimistic. His hope seemed to spring from three key tenets:

1. People always need to eat, for richer or poorer
2. People take comfort in food and having a good time--particularly when times are bad
3. In order to get all the massive financial restructuring, mergers and deals done that this crisis has precipitated, there have been veritable armies of investment bankers and lawyers sequestered in small rooms for days at a time throughout the city. They take no breaks. They don't go out. All of their sustenance is catered in. For days on end.

Voila: The Crisis Food Micro-Economy.

I have often quipped that everything and anything is 'of scale' in New York City. There is enough diversity and enough people here to create a quorum--or micro-economy--around almost any topic or interest. You're into Somalian Neolithic Pottery? No problem, there are undoubtedly three competing discussion groups that meet somewhere in the city on a weekly basis.

These new hot pockets of Crisis Food now join this eclectic group of indigenous lifeforms. Their lifespan may be briefer than some, but the memories will undoubtedly last a lifetime--at least for those directly involved.

It is somehow deeply comforting to know that in this great capitol of capitalism we call home, even in the worst of times, someone is still making an honest buck with a viable business model providing quality service. Long live the American way.

i have no idea what to post again. wanted to post a photo from the gig i went to at NBT. but something was acting up and i cant transfer the file from camera to comp. so i turned to my trusted friend.

me: what should i post up today? i have no idea whatsoever.
lainie: lengluis!*

(why i even bother sometimes?)

me: ok.
lainie: sure cute wan ar?*
me: confirmed cute!

so, here you go, lains. a picture of sweet adena. not so little anymore. and probably the ONLY girl EVER who can make me listen to her high school musical soundtrack willingly.

*of course the ever eloquent lainie doesnt speak that way. she who says, "replenish cigarette supply" instead of simple "buy cigarette", will never be caught dead speaking that way. hehe!

Bob Walsh, spokesman for the Nevada secretary of state's office, told FOXNews.com the raid was prompted by ongoing complaints about "erroneous" registration information being submitted by the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, also called ACORN.

The group was submitting the information through a voter sign-up drive known as Project Vote.

"Some of them used nonexistent names, some of them used false addresses and some of them were duplicates of previously filed applications," Walsh said, describing the complaints, which largely came from the registrar in Clark County, Nev. He said some registrations used the names of Dallas Cowboys football players.

Walsh said agents from both the secretary of state's office and Nevada attorney general's office conducted the raid, and "took a bunch of stuff."

ACORN spokesman Charles Jackson confirmed the group's Nevada office was raided.

It's not the first time ACORN's been under investigation for irregularities in registration records.

In 2006, ACORN committed what Washington Secretary of State Sam Reed called the "worse case of election fraud" in the state's history.

In the case, ACORN submitted just over 1,800 new voter registration forms, and all but six of the 1,800 names were fake.

Guess what--these two nutjobs were having a business meeting! Right there in the toilet! Yeah, "awkward" was what I thought too. They went on for 10 very long minutes, just breathing in sweet organic (per)fumes.

This cannot be happening. Am I getting punked? I was trying to be polite, and be as silent as humanly possible. The other option I had at the back of my mind was to scream: "What's wrong with you? You guys need to get a fratzing room! This ain't a place to talk about business!"

        Pero yo este invierno ando demasiado empecinada en adentrarme en el mundo del negro -contra todo pronóstico- a no ser que me encuentre con algo medio inspirador que me salve de la catástrofe, como algunas de las combinaciones para el verano que viene, que no parecen demasiado verano, todo sea dicho.

       Y puestos a decir, la que se ha quedado a cuadros, que no a colori, ha debido ser Alessandra Facchinetti, directora creativa de Valentino hasta el momento justo en que se enteró de que ya no lo era, porque en la prensa anunciaban que la iban a sustituir los encargados de las líneas de complementos Maria Grazia Chiuri y Pier Paolo Piccioli.

        "Siento un profundo pesar por haberme enterado por medio de la prensa. Esta noticia fue una gran sorpresa, ya que la alta dirección debería habérmelo dicho primero a mí." Feo, feo, Valen... esto no tiene nombre. Bueno, sí que lo tiene; pero es, eso, feo, feo.

      La que se ha echado a temblar sólo de pensar en que pueda ser la próxima es la pobre Hannah McGibbon, que acaba de estrenarse en Chloé sustituyendo a Paulo Melim Andersson que, a su vez, sustituía a Phoebe Philo que, a su vez, era claramente insustituible y que ahora, tras rumores, desmentidos, y demás Chanel sí-Chanel no resulta que se nos va a Celine... Ella sabrá.