This is my first step in organizing my memories from an off-beat childhood. Trying to figure out what I want to do with these memories. Write something resembling a book about them or just let them go?

• Mom and Dad divorce. Mom says Dad stopped talking to her, stopped dealing with responsibilities, "checked out." Dad says Mom told him, "I don't love you anymore." I am not yet 2, and A is 3. Living in C'town, but not for long.
• Move from C'town to Steubenville. This is when Mom has met Sister H and decides to go with her to this religious community in Ohio. She says God is telling her to go. A Franciscan University is at its center, but scads of families are moving there for the church on campus.
• Summary of University of Steubenville: Charismatic Catholicism, prayer rallies, speaking in tongues, dancing in the aisles, hands waving in the air, slain in the spirit (translation: slap in the forehead = You Ah Healed!), healing, laying on hands (putting all hands on someone and praying for whatever ails or troubles them). We went to this church EVERY DAY. Not every Sunday: EVERY DAY!

In regards to relationships, I'm a little fucked up.  And I have no idea why.  Although I think I've made great progress this year, looking back, I've always had weird attitudes towards men, (or boys), whenever they showed interest in me.

For example.  Third grade.  I show up to school, one of the first in the classroom, and there is a little wrapped package in my desk.  From Michael Alfaro.  Now for a third grader, Michael was a hottie, and I liked him.  But the little package threw me into complete panic mode.  Oh my god, it's a ring, screamed my eight year old brain.  Made sense, it was about the size of a ring box.  Oh shit, what if he asks me to marry him?  We're in third grade for crying out loud, what was I thinking?  No logic there.  But it made me physically ill, and I went to the nurses office a wreck and then home for the day.  Left the package under the little sick bed, unopened.  I found out later from my teacher, that Michael had wrapped up a rubber stamp for me.  Hmm.  Sorry Mikey, I'm a freak.  I mean, that is SO not normal.  Right?

Fourth grade, Mark, the sexy bad boy from Miss Frost's class obviously liked me.  Chased me around on the playground.  He was cute, he gave me a few little butterflies...  But when my friends mentioned it, again, totally felt sick to my stomach.

Seventh grade... um... can't remember this one's name, although Steve sounds about right... left me a note in home ec saying he wanted me to be his girlfriend.  Before he went and said all that, I thought he was cute and interesting... but the minute he expressed interest...panic.  Although I did allow myself to sit by him at lunch AND I even let him DRINK OFF MY SODA which I never did.  But that lasted about a day, then I proceeded to ignored him.  Sorry.... Steve?

Ninth grade I had a "boyfriend" Joaquin.  "Boyfriend" is a joke because we never kissed or saw each other outside of school.  We would hug each other in the morning before class, but most of the time I would avoid him if I saw him coming.

Fast forward to college.  Harlan Justice.  Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.  I gazed at him in our Africana Studies class, wondering if he noticed me... he did... we went out a few times, danced on the roof of the Fashion Valley mall, sat on a porch swing and looked at the stars.  He made me origami birds.  Wanted to make jam for a living and would have me taste new recipes... beautiful.  But the minute he called me "honey" or something to that affect, I shut down completely.  I regret that Harlan, wherever you are.  I'm an ass.

David.  I had such a major crush on David long before we ever dated.  Years before we ever dated.  Our paths crossed again, and he was so sweet to me.  We went camping on our first date.  I can't pinpoint why I freaked out on this one, but I found myself avoiding his calls for no good reason.

Philip.  Sigh.  I think I did pretty good on this one... yes freaked a little at the beginning, but checked myself quickly and really tried hard to be different... honest... and upfront about my feelings... I was ready for this one.  But alack, twas not to be.

So WHAT IS MY FREAKING PROBLEM?????  I have a feeling I'm working through some past life trauma.  That's the only explanation I have since, it's been a pattern my WHOLE life.  From the time I was a kid.  Anyone know a good psychic?

Also, this memory popped up too.... off the subject...

In fourth grade, my friends Tammy, Gretchen and Jenny wanted to start this club.  Cool, I was down for clubs.  But in order to get in the club, we all had to say in our best valley-girl voice, "Like, oh my god."  I wouldn't do it.  It wasn't my style, and I felt embarrassed to say it, so I didn't.  No club for me.  And they laughed at me in line as we waited to go back to our classroom.  :(  But I guess we got over it, cause later that year we did a killer dance to New Kids On The Block's "The Right Stuff" in our school talent show.

Any thoughts?

Love Aim

How can I know if I've had a past life or lives?

One sure fire way is to go to an experienced practitioner for a past life regression hypnotherapy session. Past Life Regression isn't as scary as many people make it out to be. Stage hypnotists and movies have done a great job of convincing people that it's a practice in which the person being hypnotized can be led to believe and do any number of things.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Rather, the state of hypnosis is simply a highly relaxed, meditative state. An experienced practitioner can help you (the person being regressed or hypnotized) to simply relax through verbal or physical suggestions. The idea is to "overload" your core thinking -- that "monkey mind" that eats up much of your day. In this overload process, the "monkey mind" becomes quiet, allowing YOU to tap into your subtler subconscious. It's here that you can access a reserve of memories from this life and past lives.

But, even in a hypnotized, or highly-relaxed state, you maintain full control of your actions and  your words.

Actually, it's a lot like entering that state you feel either right before you fall asleep or just as you wake up - you know, you're aware of your surroundings, but none of the thoughts you have throughout the day enter your mind.

***

Do you have a question for Deanna? Click here to jump to a contact form where you can anonymously submit your question for possible future publication on this blog.

Check out my new online workshops: Seats are filling up fast. It's no wonder. The first few sessions of each workshop will be offered at the significantly reduced rate of only $15. Plus, all participants will receive a free copy of my eBook, "Constant Conscious Effort: How I Quadrupled My Income in Just One Year", a value of $19.97.

Esta larga entrevista esta subdividida en cinco partes.

• Brian Weiss 02
• Brian Weiss 03
• Brian Weiss 04
• Brian Weiss 05

Entrevista a Dr. Brian Weiss en el programa  Entreparentesis.TV Show  San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Referencias:::

• Técnicas de regresión a vidas pasadas (I)
• Técnicas de regresión a vidas pasadas (II)
• Vidas pasadas:: lo que dice la biblia?
• Brian Weiss: “Somos seres espirituales viviendo una experiencia humana"
• Vidas Pasadas: intercambiando ideas y experiencias.
• La re-encarnaciòn como sistema

]]> http://gracealamode.wordpress.com/2008/08/17/beautiful-tea-dresses-of-the-past/ Sat, 16 Aug 2008 16:08:53 +0000 Grace http://gracealamode.wordpress.com/2008/08/17/beautiful-tea-dresses-of-the-past/ The dresses shown below are edwardian tea dresses and jackets. I truly admire them, and how the lace is so darling.

Above is a lace jacket.

Can't get enough lace! I wish to make a lace gown one day (most likely I will).

Oh for the love of vintage!

Dresses and jacket was found at: Vintage Textile.

Marlenyux :Hola pues yo también he sido una persona creyente referente al libro de Brain Weiss aun y cuando va en contra de lo que siempre nos han inculcado en las iglesias, lo que me sorprende mucho es la relación que hay entre las palabras que transmiten los maestros a través de Catherine y algunas cosas escritas en la biblia coinciden mucho como por ejemplo: que Dios es el que da la paga por lo que hayamos hecho mal(en la bibila dice: mia es la venganza dice Dios yo daré el pago), otra dice que somos renovados y que todos seremos iguales en un cierto punto( la biblia también lo dice). Yo también quisiera saber cuales son esas tecnicas de regresion y saber controlarlas por uno mismo.

El libro que llamamos biblia, es un conjunto de libros reunidos de forma arbitraria por la Iglesia Romana. Tomó algunos y desechó otros. Además, en la copia y traducción de cada libro se tergiversó los textos originales. Vivimos en tiempos donde se contemplan otros escritos como por ejemplo el: reciente Evangelio de Judas o de Maria Magdalena, o mismo el evangelio de la Paz de los Escenios. Todos ellos de gran valor histórico y espiritual.

Catherine, quando accesa su Yo superior, o su Yo Crístico que es el mismo que tengo yo o tenés tu, aflora con una grande sabiduría. Ese es, uno de los principios basicos de la vida: el acceso  inmediato y en cualquier momento a la personalidad divina que llevamos dentro.

El pasado y el futuro está ante nuestros ojos. De esa forma Lucas en la ciudad de Alejandría escribió su evangelio. Fué toda una visión que Lucas tuvo de la mision del Cristo que en Jesus vivia en esa época.

El Yo Crístico de Lucas accedió a los echos y los contó. No olvidemos que Lucas era médico y en medio oriente las escuelas de inciación médica se baseaban en un desdoblamiento del cuerpo etérico del curador para investigar la memoria integral del paciente y curar la causa pasada de los disturbios actuales, transformados en síntomas fisicos. Nuestras enfermedades de hoy tiene causa en un desamor pasado, que busca su equilibrio.

"Dios es el que da la paga por lo que hayamos hecho mal(en la bibila dice: mia es la venganza dice Dios yo daré el pago), otra dice que somos renovados y que todos seremos iguales en un cierto punto( la biblia también lo dice)"..... Este trecho es interesante: lo que quiere decir es simple: quien causa un desorden en la vida de los otros, recibirá el efecto kármico de la Vida. La vida es la que cobra, por intermedio de la enfermedad, un equilibrio en nuestras acciones y en las acciones de los otros.

La venganza a los desamores, que nos causan los otros, pertenece a la Vida. "No resistas al mal" , por que todos somo Uno con la Vida, y vivimos en el mar de  su energía. Si nosotros causamos desamor en su mar la ola de su respuesta, viene sobre nosotros como enfermedad o desquilibrio. Dios no es un hombre es una energia benéfica e inteligente que la Iglesia Romana quizó reducir a muy poco y ser su vocero.

Si está dentro de nosotros: por qué no buscar su poder? Ese poder es el que nos renueva cuando dormimos o pensamos en el cuando meditamos. Solo cuando acallamos nuestro pensameintos y emociones, esa energia entra en nosotros. Por ejemplo practicar yoga, es practicar la presencia cristica en nosotros y es por ello que genera una gran inmunidad entre sus practicantes.

Si hay alguna cosa que tengas que resolver en tu vida pasada, esa energía inteligente, esa presencia crística, te  va a llevar ese momento para resolverlo adecuadamente.

• Vidas Pasadas: intercambiando ideas y experiencias.
• Brian Weiss: “Somos seres espirituales viviendo una experiencia humana”
• Técnicas de regresión a vidas pasadas (II)
• Técnicas de regresión a vidas pasadas (I)
• La re-encarnaciòn como sistema
• Vidas Pasadas: entrevista (en video) a Brian Weis

When someone dies, that person is "born again into the flesh of another body," as the Scientology Press Office's FAQ puts it. The actual details of how that rebirth occurs are not fully understood by church outsiders, but some core beliefs of Scientology are that every human being is really an immortal spiritual being known as a thetan and that the "meat bodies" we inhabit are merely vessels we shed upon death. (Members of the elite church cadre known as Sea Org, for example, sign contracts that pledge a billion years of service throughout successive lives.)

One of the church's official Web sites stresses that a belief in past lives is not mandatory dogma but, rather, a personal truth that most Scientologists come to as they go through auditing.

Read the entire article here

I'm a 51-year-old divorced mother of three who has been blessed in all areas of my life except for financial abundance. Is there something in my past life that is blocking this from happening for me? How do I move past it?

While it's possible that you are experiencing a block when it comes to financial abundance from a past life, it's more likely that the block you perceive is from your current life.

Often, our attitudes and experience with money stem from beliefs we were given as children. Studies have shown that we form the majority of our life long beliefs between the ages of 8 and 12. That's pretty young to make up our minds about how our relationship with money will play out for the rest of our life.

In my eBook, Constant Conscious Effort, I talk about steps you can take to identify your old beliefs and transform them into new beliefs that better coincide with your adult path. You see, just because you have believed one thing for the last 40 years does not mean that you have to continue believing it. Life is nothing but a continuous series of choices.

For some reason, many adults believe that any choice must be made from an all-or-nothing perspective. There is a pervasive belief that in any situation, only one answer can be right. But, choose to believe the opposite and the world becomes nothing but a smorgasbord of choices -- all of them right.

***

Do you have a question for Deanna? Click here to jump to a contact form where you can anonymously submit your question for possible future publication on this blog.

Check out my new online workshops: Seats are filling up fast. It's no wonder. The first few sessions of each workshop will be offered at the significantly reduced rate of only $15. Plus, all participants will receive a free copy of my eBook, "Constant Conscious Effort: How I Quadrupled My Income in Just One Year", a value of $19.97.

Eamon didn't see as he had much of a choice--either die here or die there, probably. So he eagerly appended his X to a contract of indenture (which, seeing as he couldn't read, signed off quite a few of his rights) and sailed off with Mr. Fair____. (I see the name "Fairfax" but I'm not sure that is the right name or not. Fairfield or Fairleigh or Fearelynn for all I know... I just know the ironic prefix Fair- begins the name.)

At first when he arrived, it was the same as most any new start to a place. There was a lot of adventure, though not as much as if he had been a part of the initial onslaught. The plantation had already been set up and most of the "detritus" (in other words, both Indians and white riff-raff) had been well cleared of the area. And our boy was sort of hoping for some of that kind of action, but unfortunately that was for other plantations that were closer to the frontier. The days of this plantation being "frontier" were not that long in the past, and some of the overseers and other I.S.'s were well-cognizant of the "Injun contagion."

The work was quite hard, though. And it was unrelenting. And he had to suck up his helpless rage at the abuses that were heaped upon him. To his dismay, there were a couple of moments where he couldn't take it, and he lashed out and had instantly come to regret it.

Eamon Brian Andrew Tracy didn't live too long once he'd set foot on British colonial soil. He had been only 19 when he had arrived, and the difficult times and the gamed system whereby the "noble" idiot-son Fair-______, had basically not really indentured, but rather enslaved my past-life self and wrested additional time to attempt to meet the financial burden heaped upon him due to appending that dadblasted X to the upfucked contract, conspired to bring Eamon's life to a brisk and cruel end. He contracted an influenza that went around and that little mercy ended his life that Hobbes would identify as "nasty, brutish and short" (though the esteemed militantly-ignorant (evil) philo-ilith would not describe as civilized, even though it means roughly the same thing).

And for lo, these 4 centuries, poor Eamon has been anonymously carrying his helpless rage with him through various lifetimes. He/I was a fellow named Josiah Cotton who knew my esteemed guide Ben Franklin and who disgusted the same with craven fear. I can look at the former colonist-self and have compassion though, because Eamon's brutish life may have been foremost in Josiah's karmic memory. That same rage has floated through all of my subsequent past lives, and perhaps was even foreshadowed by one wherein I was an Italian courtier who had inadvertently exposed a beneficent conspiracy for humanity to malevolent machinic ones, and who, to save face for a well-placed countess had to be officially dispatched as a heretic and a traitor. (Pietro/I was beheaded in that lifetime, and it was quick and anonymous and hardly even a footnote in the Italian province in which I lived this life of chagrin and silent ignominy.)

Eamon has been an aspect of all these lives, and of the life I currently lead. As a 6-Death I need to honor my past-life ancestor, and in so doing heal his karma. As I type these keys into the ether, I send Eamon Brian Andrew Tracy's restless spirit healing reiki energy. I envelop his spirit with the violet light to cleanse and acknowledge that he was a valued member of the human race, that his horrific existence did serve a purpose, and that someone does remember him. That in this acknowledgment of his simple and hard life and the mercilessness of his environment, as unnecessary and capricious and maleficent and "maliferous" as THAT was, that he counted for something. Even if it's to spotlight the awareness that I need not play the same game as the Fair-_____s of the vEmpire.

In other words the Succubank's game.

I choose to walk the path of beauty, and Eamon I salute you and say to you in all lovingkindness that you need not suffer anymore. You can release that ball and chain. It no longer serves you, and it certainly no longer serves me. In love I command you now to let go of that rod or rope that you have clutched onto, the hatred and rage that has kept you tethered here. You did well enough and now it's time, my friend to stop the self-torture. To release that shame, that fear, that guilt, that expectation that you will be mistreated and abused. That is done, for the vEmpire is ending its clutches, and your message has gotten through.

Be that as it may, it's time for different options. I for one can not continue the insanity, and yes, you can freely acknowledge both the Fair___ family's insanity as well as your own. For you accepted it as if it was your own, and they had so securely sheltered you from Indian influences that how could you know there was any other way?

Perhaps there was some karma to pay, but as a descendant of yours, if not by blood then by future-life descent, I am here to remember you and to give you the respect and admiration you deserve.

It is time now. Let the pleroma, let Sophia take you into her arms and hold and love you. It's the reward for the life you lived, and you can now accept it. Please do so--just fall into it. That's all you have to do. Easy as 1-2-

3.

Blessings my friend.
Ache'.

Can you explain how déjà vu works? Sometimes, I get very strong feelings that I've been somewhere before or had that conversation already!

The feeling that you've been somewhere already or previously had the same discussion is very common. I'm thrilled that you've tapped into this feeling and are questioning it. Too many people live their lives by default and don't explore these deeper aspects.

Déjà vu can be attributed to a couple of difference scenarios:

1. You've tapped into a universal energy consciousness. You know how it seems that several people reach the same genius conclusion or have the same brilliant idea at the same time? Those people are tapping into information available in a universal energy consciousness.
2. You could have experienced a precognitive dream that you simply didn't recall upon waking. Thus, your subconscious has had this conversation or been to this location, though your waking memory has not.
3. It's quite possible you have had this conversation before and you've simply forgotten.

If you're like to learn more about tapping into your intuition and living consciously, read Awakening Intuition, by Mona Lisa Schulz.

***

Do you have a question for Deanna? Click here to jump to a contact form where you can anonymously submit your question for possible future publication on this blog.

Check out my new online workshops: Seats are filling up fast. It's no wonder. The first few sessions of each workshop will be offered at the significantly reduced rate of only $15. Plus, all participants will receive a free copy of my eBook, "Constant Conscious Effort: How I Quadrupled My Income in Just One Year", a value of $19.97.

About three times each year, I awaken at my lake house and I swear I see two people staring at me. When I look directly at them, they go away. Now, these are what I would call "ghosts." Very unnerving. They are dressed in old farm clothes and remind me of that American Gothic painting. If there are ghosts, then there must be something after death, but what if it's bad? These two people do not look very happy to me. Were they agnostics?

The presence of ghosts is almost always unnerving, even for those that experience this phenomena on a "regular" basis. Based on your description, I would tend to agree that you do seem to have a couple of ghosts roaming around your lake house. In most cases, energy and "ghosts" can been seen by using your peripheral vision. This is why they seem to disappear when you look directly at them.

If you are encountering ghosts, they probably do appear to be unhappy. Based on common thought, ghosts have not made it their higher place and are believed to be caught between two worlds: the physical and the spiritual. Whether they were atheists when in physical form really has no bearing on their being ghosts at this time.

Although unsettling, to be sure, ghosts really can't physically harm you. They can make your light bulbs blow out and disrupt your overall flow of energy, but typically, they are simply in your house now because it is a location to which they have an emotional connection. You could talk with them to try to get their names. Then, you could do a title search on the lake house to try to gather more information.

If, however, they are just bothersome, all you have to do (the next time you see them) is to remind them that they are dead and to go into the light. You don't even have to be polite about it. Simply explain the lake house is now yours and they are dead. Be very matter of fact. Seems silly, I know, but it does work.

What I'd be interested in knowing, however, is if you've noticed anything "unusual" since you moved in (aside from seeing ghosts). For instance, do you "lose" your car keys more often than at your other home? Or, do the lights flicker in a certain room? Make a list of any of these occurrences that don't occur in your other home, then see if they still happen after you've reminded your ghosts that they are dead.

Now, to your question about whether there is life after death. I'm not sure how any of us can know "for sure" without scientific proof. Scientists have been trying for years to prove the existence of life after death. In the book, Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife, the author talks about many such experiments including one that placed people "on the verge of death" on a scale. The idea was that if the person's weight dropped at the exact moment of death, that difference would prove that a soul had left the body - hence, life after death. Unfortunately, the results of this one study could not be replicated by other scientists.

So, how can we know for sure? I don't know. For me, it's faith. Not just a faith in "God." But, more of an overall belief that something greater is at work in my life. How do I know? I've done my own informal studies and without fail, the conclusion always points to the existence of life after death.

***

Do you have a question for Deanna? Click here to jump to a contact form where you can anonymously submit your question for possible future publication on this blog.

Check out my new online workshops: Seats are filling up fast. It's no wonder. The first few sessions of each workshop will be offered at the significantly reduced rate of only $15. Plus, all participants will receive a free copy of my eBook, "Constant Conscious Effort: How I Quadrupled My Income in Just One Year", a value of $19.97.

If you know you are a star person, or even if you're not sure I recommend reading Earth Angels A Pocket Guide for Incarnated Angels, Elementals, Starpeople, Walk-Ins, and Wizards by Doreen Virtue. If you know you have unearthly origins, but are unsure as to what they are, then this book will help you figure that out. And, if you know you are of unearthly origins I suggest reading it anyway for self validation and healing.

Click this Link to Buy on Amazon.com

I'm hoping to one day offer a meditation CD of the guided meditations I do for people in my online store, but for now, I will type everything out for you. I'm posting this meditation for how to do a past life regression. If you find it hard to do by yourself there are A LOT of past life regression CDs out there. I believe that by doing a past life regression it will help you remember your extra-terrestrial origins.

First, do a clearing of your body and whatever room you are going to be in when doing your regression. I prefer to take a sea salt (fragrance and color free) bath to clear energies from my body. If you don't have a bathtub you can take a shower (water helps ground you) and as the water runs over you place your palms on the shower walls. Visualize all the negative energies flowing out of your palms and the soles of your feet, and into the building, then down into the Earth. To clear a room of negative energies I like to place a beautiful bowl of sea salt water or alcohol somewhere centrally located in the room and/or burn dried sage to clear the room. Not only does salt water clear negative energies, but it also enhances our psychic nature.

Find a comfortable position. I like to either sit in a comfortable chair with my hands resting palms down on the arms of the chair, or lay down with my arms slightly away from my sides and palms down.

Begin by saying a prayer to whoever you are comfortable with to protect you from lower energies as you open up your psychic awareness. It could be God, Buddha, an angel, or ascended master that you feel especially close to.

This is how my prayer goes:

Saint Michael my Friend, please come to my side and take away any energies that are not here for my highest good. Please take them with you to the light so that they may know God's love and feel supported by the universe. Watch over me now as you do always. Amen

After I have said my prayer I psychically protect myself for the regression by doing a quick psychic shield ritual. To do a psychic shield ritual simply cup your hands in front of you and stare into your palms. You will start to see a soft light emanating from your hands. Remember not to focus your eyes, but to let them relax and see what they need to see. Then, starting with your toes, glide your hands over your body, painting yourself with this light.

Once your covered in light, I want you to then visualize thick solid roots growing out from your palms of your hands, and the soles of your feet, into the Earth. Let the roots twist and curl into the ground so that you are firmly planted.

You may do visualizations with your eyes open, or closed, whichever works best for you. I prefer my eyes closed, it lessens distractions for me.

It is now time to start your regression. Imagine you are inside a perfect sphere with a single window. It can be any size you want; you may want your sphere to simply fit your body, or to be immense, it does not matter. Hanging in the window is a prism that casts rainbows onto the curved walls around you. Begin with red and use all of your senses to perceive this red. Taste it, smell it, feel it, hear the vibrations of the color, see the deep shade of the color. Do this slowly, taking in every detail of each color in the rainbow (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet). As you reach the violet energy you will be connecting with the other realms. Ask for a guide to come to you to tell you about your origins, you may want to ask your guide's name or have them remain anonymous.

Your guide then helps you float to your most recent past life. You may sense your energy shifting to something that feels more familiar. Some people get a flood of memories, some only certain pictures, or something that rings true to a certain sense, like a smell, or a taste.

Once you are done visiting your past life with your spirit guide allow yourself to gently sink back through each of the colors until you feel yourself completely back in your body. Make sure to feel the air around you, wiggle fingers and toes, and stretch. Allow yourself to open your eyes; I suggest writing down your experience right away so you won't forget. As you return to your everyday life, thank your spirit guide for what they showed you, and say a small prayer for them.

If you would like to share your experience with this past life regression feel free to leave me a comment :)

My number one suggestion though is to find other star people in your area. I recommend meetup.com for this. There are meet-ups for everything you can imagine all over the world, plus it's free to sign up and start meeting people with similar interests.

It was winter and victorian era, and we were in what I think is Russia. We were well-off, if not nobility then close. I was a little girl, with a blue button down coat over fancy dress. I wore a hat, gloves, and carried a muff. I was wearing boots that had to be laced up special and I felt all grown up in my fancy clothes. I was always about 5 years old in this experience. I was with my mother, whom I adored, and my father, whom I also adored. We were at some type of group of shops. It was night and snowing and I remember the tall gas lamps. It was so exciting because my parents were buying me a doll.

I was so happy when they placed that doll in my hands. She had a porcelain head and wore a fancy dress much like mine. I felt such overwhelming love.
I would always wake up after getting the doll, and always wished I could go back.

I had this same experience many, many times as a child, and maybe there was more that I have since forgotten.
I went there once as an adult, but its been many years since my final visit there. I miss it.

Like this stuff from my Grandmother on my Mom's side

Unless you are moving, how many of us really take inventory of our lives on a regular basis?  Annual Basis? Every Decade?  Only on the Tuesday eve of the blue moon in November, after the first snow has fallen, during a leap year, if your sister/daughter in law is precisely 6 months pregnant and you have won the lottery?  

I guess that means that no most of us don't have any idea the accumulation of "stuff" we have in our lives until it comes time to move.... downsizing, upsizing, regardless- everything needs to be looked at and the decision made -Do I keep you eighth grade yearbook, holiday present from a co-worker that was shoved into the closet in the same gift bag it was given to you in, favorite stuffed toy from childhood, hefty bag full of favorite stuffed toys from childhood, cool chunk of marble gravestone from unidentifiable grave from one mischievous night during college?    

So, yes, I am in the process of taking inventory and sorting all my possessions into one of five categories.  

1- Keep and pack.  I won't part with it no matter what it is, useful or not, even if it just continues to sit in a box in the closet until the day I die, and then some poor schmuck cleaning up after me has to make a decision and sort it into a pile of their own. 

2- Throw away.... this is the obvious garbage, stuff that does not meet the criteria of one person's junk is another person's treasure.  This category includes the recycling bin.... abundance of plastic hangers- recycle (I swear they multiply like bunnies in every single closet), chipped kitchen glasses - recycle, stained old tupperware - recycle......   Does anyone know if cast iron pans can be recycled?

3- Put aside and decide with significant other whether we keep mine or his or both.  Combining two complete adult households you end up with two of most things, so which coffee pot do you keep, which iron, toaster, etc....   Some of this stuff is obvious and some of it is a territory thing.  This process can truly test your ability to compromise with your partner.  Word of advice, if "it" does not matter to you put it in the "Donate-give away" pile and if "it" is that important to you put it in the keep no matter what pile and pull it out later on down the road.  If either of you are no good at making a decision, or afraid of hurting feelings just flip a coin or pull from a hat.  Or you can do it the old fashion american way and "donate" them both and go buy a brand new shiny state of the art new "it" that make you both happy.        

4 - Put aside to sell.  Stuff worth enough to put time into e-bay, craig's list, resale/antique shop, etc.... Mostly antiques from family or collected over the years to which I have not emotional attachment to.  I would rather not give this stuff away, but in this economy who knows if it will sell at a price that would make me happy.  It is quite possible that this stuff may end up in a box to be stored and sold at a later date or for when that same poor schmuck......  

5- Put aside to donate, give to friends, yard sale, etc.   Stuff that someone else might like, will use, and won't go to waste, like that gift from a coworker that was shoved into the closet in the same gift bag it was "graciously" received in.  

Thanks to a friend and former boss I have a very healthy attitude when I am cleaning house.  This former boss of mine had a friend who was trained in the art of feing shui.  She had her friend over the house to check things out, make suggestions, help clear her home of negative energies.  This friend asked about a particular piece of furniture in the living room, a coffee table.  It was sending off really bad vibes, not because of where it was placed in the room, but just because of it being physically in the house.  Ends up the "coffee table" was a bone of contention with her ex-husband.  It was his favorite, she hated it, but out of spite when they split she fought over it until she won it and proudly displayed it in home.  It brought so much bad energy into the home, every time she stubbed her toe on it she would swear at her ex, she was intentionally holding onto bad memories and her past life by keeping the "damn table".  It was then that they walked around the house and purged it of all "former life" stuff, until it was pointed out to her she had no idea how much stuff was sucking her home dry of all good energy.  They had a grand old time throwing all the past life out into the yard, and planning together what needed to be replaced and what didn't.  Once they did the energy in the house shifted to being more positive, nurturing and healing.  Life was finally able, after years, to begin anew because there was nothing dragging her back in time.  

I am fortunate that I do not have any desire nor tendency to keep stuff that has bad past life attachments.  I have been very very good over the past few years of clearing out the old to make room for the new (that is except for shoes and purses, but alas even they will have their own judgement day sometime very soon). As a matter of fact many friends at work have asked me to come clean out their closets because they are impressed with my ability to purge the unnecessary from my space.  Now that is not to say that I live minimally, frankly I do not, but I no longer have "collections" nor do I hold onto stuff that I might need some rainy day.   That is except for that hefty bag full of old stuffed toys, it's a girl thing, right ladies? 

So that is it, I am really busy cleaning out.  I will keep you posted, but if you don't hear from me in a bit it is because I have my hands full sorting out my life.

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 go deeper now
 to seek and find
 that which was
 left behind

 more than this
 was once before
 the riddle rhyme
 will tell you more

 of what you seek
 in place and form
 walk deeper now
 to the heart of the storm

 the fields of battle
 bloodied and dead
 the flowing rush
 of rivers red

 the pain of loss
 to those who loved
 can still be felt
 from now above

 this ancient time
 of where the sleepers
 become so close
 to those the keepers

 protection there
 and here to now
 come forward soul
 to be your goal

 from past to present
 to future be
 your job will always
 be protector of thee

 the magical force
 that passes through time
 take the message
 in this riddle of rhyme

 for you will know
 there are more than we
 deep within
 the one called she

 feel the line
 the energy flows
 breathe in deep
 for when she blows

 the energy straight
 within this force
 your eyes will open
 from east to north

 and know the way
 in which you seek
 full knowledge abides
 within the meek
 
 yet subtle approach
 you must decide
 whether your mind
 can handle this ride

 she finds your strength
 from times gone passed
 one to the other
 the strength will last

 forever now
 and then before
 her heart was broke
 during the war

 of losing time
 and space within
 they tortured many
 in their diabolical sin

 the red river flows
 from life to death
 death to life
 remains the rest

 for you to do
 what your soul is trained
 from then to now
 you will regain

 your powers, strength
 and honest heart
 life from then to forward now
 her soul to yours to never part

From the days of old, your strength and power shall rise forth.  My love deep within your soul as always has been and always will be.

So anyhow a group of us (including the Sr. VP - AN) are sitting down and having dinner. Most of our Silicon Valley friends were the high maintainence types. Lots of food and more importantly red wine... bottles of it.. as times goes on more and more people join the table.. some invited... some uninvited. Suddenly the table grows to about 20 people.

Finally our sales person from Australia Pam joins the table with two of her Aussie counterparts. They had just returned from having dinner outside and were hailed by the group as they walked by. By now dinner is done and people are having after dinner liquer. One by one the people at the table start disappearing. Each one assuming that the other one is going to pay..finally the only people at the table were Pam and her small group and she got handed the bill... much to her surprise... and nearly faints after looking at the bill... about $4000 USD... anyway she signs it hoping that it will be paid with her expenses.

A week later we are having a conference call.. when AN clears her throat and says "Ahem..Ahem guys.. we need to really look at expenses.. Pam.. my dear.. I am looking at this item thats says 'entertainment' and its $4000. You really need to control costs. No way we can pay that".. Pam's trying to speak but keeps getting cut off... "No no Pam.. we cannot afford such entertainment... you need to really control it"... (most of us on the call know what that expense is...poor Pam)

Finally Pam sputters "But.. but...this was not my expense... this was YOUR dinner in Hong Kong.. I just happened to be the last person at the table"...

Silence...

Finally AN breaks her silence.. "Hmm.. ahem... well ok.. didn't realize that".... More Silence "I'll approve that right away... but guys we really need to watch our expenses..."