ano raw? malabong kausap...? senyales din ba yun ng isolation? siguro nga... siguro nga...

ito ba yung feeling na mas trip mong kumain mag-isa pag lunchbreak na, kahit niya-yaya ka ng mga kaibigan at kasama mo. o ung manonood ka ng sine tapos wala kang katabi, samantalang yung iba eh enjoy na enjoy me kayakap sa lamig ng sinehan.

ung tipong sa loob ng classroom, mas gusto mong sa likuran ka lang, nasa tabi ng pinto, or nasa isang corner, walang kinakausap at katabi. or sa office, ung cubicle mo eh may malaking divider, na para bang may sarili kang mundo. sabihin na nating loner.

ung pakiramdam na 500+ naman ang contacts mo sa cellphone, pero wala kang madial, matext at makausap. or un bang nasa loob ka ng jeep na pangsampuhan, pero ikaw na lang yung pasahero at mahaba pa ung biyahe.

ito ba yung pakiramdam ng mga taong grasa sa kalye na namamalimos, na halos binalewala na ng lipunan? ito ba ung feeling na sa halos pitong bilyong tao sa mundo, iisa lang. oo, iisa lang siyang...

(pang-adik) eto ba ung nararamdaman mo pag tumititig ka sa araw na palubog na, na para bang pinadudugo muna ang langit bago tuluyang dumilim...

alam mo na ung sagot...

haaayy....

--

kader-der... isa na namang adik na post. living up to my blog header...

eto pambawi sa readers:

ahem...

Kailangang-kailangan ko talaga ng ‘matinong’ kausap ngayon. Yung makakapagpa-alog ng kamalayan ko para magdesisyon ng tama. Malinawan sa mga bagay na malalabo. Since walang available, gawa na lang ako ng paraan para kahit papano maramdaman kong hindi ako pinaglilihihan ng universe.

Kikinig na lang ako ng kanta [di’ko alam kung kanta nga ba yun, puro salita lang kasi. hehe.] ni Baz Luhrmann. Share ko sa inyo ha.

Everybody's Free (To Wear Suncreen)
Baz Luhrmann

Ladies and gentleman
to the class of '97
wear suncreen
if I could offer you only one tip for the future
suncreen would be it
the long term benefits of suncreen
have been proven by scientists
whereas the rest of my advice
has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now...

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth
never mind
you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
until they've faded
but trust me
in twenty years you'll look back at photos of yourself
you'll recall in a way you can't grasp now
how much possibilty lay before you and how fabulous
you really looked
you are not as fat as you imagined

don't worry about the future
or worry and know that worrying is about as effective as
trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum
the real troubles in your life
are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind
the kind that blind sides you at 4pm on some idle tuesday
do one thing everyday that scares you
sing
don't be reckless with other people's hearts
don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
floss
don't waste your time on jealousy
sometimes your ahead, sometimes your behind
the race is long
and in the end its only with yourself
remember the compliments you receive
forget the insults
if you succeed in doing this, tell me how
keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements
stretch
don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life
the most ineresting people i know didnt know at 22
what they wanted to do with their lives
some of the most interesting 40 year olds i know still don't
get plenty of calcium
be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't
maybe you'll have kids, maybe you won't
maybe you'll divorce at 40
maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75 wedding aniversary
whatever you do
don't congratulate yourself too much
or berate yourself either
your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's
enjoy your body
use it everyway you can
don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it
it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own
dance
even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room
read the directions, even if you don't follow them
do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly

Brother and sister
together we will make it through
Some day a spirit will take you
and guide you there
I know you've been hurting
but i've been waiting to be there for you
and i'll be there just helping you out
whenever I can

Get to know your parents
you never know when they'll be gone for good
be nice to your siblings
they're your best link to your past
and the people most likely to stick with you in the future
understand that friends come and go
but with a precious few they should hold on
work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
where as the older you get the more you need the people you knew
when you were young
live in New York City once
but leave before it makes you hard
live in northern california once
but leave before it makes you soft
travel
accept certain inalienable truths
prices will rise
politicans will fillander
you too will get old and when you do
you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable
politicians were noble and children respected their elders
respect your elders
don't expect anyone else to support you
maybe you'll have a trust fund
maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse
but you never know when either one might run out
don't mess too much with your hair
or by the time your 40 it will look 85
becareful whose advice you buy
but be patient with those who supply it
advice is a form of nostalgia
dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
and recycling it for more than it's worth
but trust me - on the sunscreen

Everybody's free

still, illogical it may seem, you can't just let yourself do nothing about it. although everything and everyone around tells you to just let go, you started to run. running, jumping and leaping, hoping you could still have a hold of even a tiny piece of the string.

it's over... grow up. move on.

stories do need to come to an end. be it tragic, happy or anything in between. we may not always have a hold of what's going to happen. but that's the bittersweet essence of it. the risks, the pain, the joys... but when the most dreaded happens to you, it ain't pretty at all. you endure the endless what if's, and keep haunted by memories.

it's over... consider it finished. and did IT even happen (to begin with)?

being dumbfounded by its enchanted fragrance and beauty, you hold on to a rose too tight that you've forgotten about the thorns. just when you've already wanted to release it, you're already blinded and you squeeze even tighter, the thorns getting deeper into your palm. finally, you realize its the reason why your hands were bleeding all along...

on a lighter note, there's more to life than that. all's been said and done. you knew everything all along, and you chose where you are right now. you knew what you've fought for. and you learned more of your heart, of the people around you, and of yourself. surely, things will be better again... surely.. better.. again... and when that most awaited day comes, you will be free to fly again...

Eto yun:

Two things in life you have to take mental note of: Don't make any decisions when you're angry and never make promises when you're happy.

Pasok sa banga diba?!

Antaray na kowt. Madami-dami na din namang mga kowts na dumaan sa selepono ko pero bihira yung mapaisip talaga ako na parang may ga-mundo akong problema.

Nabalik-balikan ko tuloy yung mga pagkakataong nakagawa ako ng mga desisyon out of anger, and when anger fades awaygusto ko namang sa sarili ko magalit dahil nakapagdesisyon ako ng hindi ko tinimbang. Ang masama huli na para pagsisihan ko yung desisyong nagawa ko, whether I like it or not nakagawa na din ako ng damage sa iba.

Ang happiness naman sobrang nakaka-high, parang lahat ng eksena feeling ko party sa saya. I make promises dahil feeling ko square ang mundo, hihinto ito dahil masaya na ako before I knew it sala-salabat na promises na ang hindi ko natutupad because I am busy being happy. Pag binawi naman yung happiness dahil unfortunately bilog ang mundo at hindi square I'll be too busy sulking.

Kung iisipin mo masyadong complicated, because we are built also to feel and not to think alone. Ang pangit lang pag hindi balance. Paano nga ba i-balance? Ay, ewan. Hindi ko din alam. Yun ang aalamin ko pa. Iintayin ko ang mga susunod na kowts na ipapadala ng friend-ko-na-hindi-ko-friend-pero-feeling-namin-friends-kami, baka isang araw nandun ang sagot sa tanong ko.

Speaking of chorva, naloka din ako sa isa pang forwaded message mula pa din sa friend-ko-na-hindi-ko-friend-pero-feeling-namin-friends-kami [nakakapagod i-type ha!].

Buong akala ko ay may katotohanan:

This is very interesting. Dagdag kaalaman din ito.

CHORVA has it's etimology from the greek word CHEORVAMUS  meaning, "for lack of the right word to say or in a place of something you want to express but you cannot verbalize"

Amazing isn't it?

Naniwala ka naman?!

CHORVA lang yun!