Reference: 1219062818

ERS have a Client who is seeking to appoint a Consultancy and Engineering Sales Manager to identify Sales opportunities in the North West and Consultancy Markets and to increase the Company's profile in these markets.

Location

Birchwood

Salary

Attractive package with competitive salary plus bonus, car allowance and phone depending on qualifications and experience

Job Responsibilities

Report on progress of Identified Prospects.

Liaise with and bring in other Company staff as required for Client meetings.

Support events and Client entertainments as required.

Develop a detailed understating of the workings and structure of the Engineering Consultancy Business.

Provide details of opportunities and suggested win themes to Bid teams update the contact plans for these areas.

Develop detailed understanding of the Company’s full capability to promote and win work.

Contact ERS on 01454 203 460, or submit a CV to cv@energyrs.co.uk, to register your interest or apply. Details at www.ERSJobs.co.uk

Reference: 1218734430

ERS have a Client who is actively seeking to appoint a Project Manager for NCU South.  This role is dependent upon task / project, reporting arrangements may vary and could be to the (Senior) Project Manager, Team Leader or Operations Manager: Project Management / Engineering responsible for the delivery of small to medium sized projects (£50k to over £1Million) as part of their project portfolio. Bid management and preparation of tenders.  Responsible for delivery of the tender documentation and supporting cost estimate and programme.  Working to tight deadlines.  Providing a focus to the Client and supporting business development activities.  The successful candidate must be able to prioritise work but also know when to call upon others for assistance.  They will be expected to work with a range of people (external and internal) so good communication skills (both written and verbal) are essential.

Location

Thatcham, UK

Salary

Attractive package and a competitive salary dependent on qualifications and experience

Job Responsibilities

Project Management / Engineering:

Be responsible and accountable for agreed aspects of the project.

Be responsible for the co-ordination of the functional activities within the project organisation to ensure specified client requirements are achieved.

On projects within their portfolio, provide leadership for those projects.

Where agreed, provide a focal point for the Project within the company and in communications with the Client.

Ensure project personnel meet requirements to be suitably qualified and experienced persons.

Ensure project forecast reports and plans are produced in accordance with the Company process procedures.

Ensure the scope of work is clear and that assumptions and exclusions are recognised by the project team.

Implement value improving practices for the project life cycle, where possible.

Receive funding (from the client) and monitor / control commitments and expenditure within authorised budget levels.

Reviewing project performance using Earned Value techniques where appropriate.

Ensuring that staff on the project are aware of their responsibilities for health and safety.

Ensuring that design and project reviews are held and recorded as appropriate.

Ensuring that the impact of risks is adequately addressed in the Project Risk Register and are managed throughout the project.

Ensure that potential variations are effectively recorded and managed appropriately.

Establishing an effective change control system for project changes.

Ensuring invoices are accurate and submitted in a timely manner.

Ensuring project control arrangements are established and effectively implemented, e.g. for document control, communication, progress reporting, costs control etc.

Review and approval of the Quality Management Plan and Technical Plan, as appropriate.

Planning to ensure adequate resourcing to support project delivery.

Contact ERS (www.ERSJobs.co.uk) on 01454 203 460 or submit a CV to cv@energyrs.co.uk to register your interest or apply.

Saturday morning found Baba in Newland with 994 tokens rolling missions he hoped would complete his 1k board token quest. The previous evening, after running 6 missions in a row, he had run out of steam, and just could not keep his eyes open any longer, even with those last 6 tokens within reach.

Baba purposely took the first 3 mission that came up with Broken Shores as the location. With the missions close together in the small city of Home, travel time between missions would be eliminated. The first mission was rather uneventful, with Baba concentrating on experimenting with various combos of specials and some new combat moves.

When Baba completed the first mission, he found he had a total of 999 tokens! He remembered last night that the last mission, he got 5 tokens, plus found another single one in a mob body. Baba started the next mission, just a few doors down in the city of Home. It was hard to concentrate on completing the mission, as he was already starting to think about what the 1k benefits would be. The mission went buy quickly, being a mix of Rhinomen and ninjas. Ninjas are pretty weak and are easy prey for Baba. Rhinomen are tougher and quite social, but they drop that wonderful Rhino armor. Even though it was a rather short mission, there were quite a few Rhino armor drops. Baba was fortunate to pick up some QL 111 Rhinoman gloves to replace his ql 80 ones.

Once the long awaited moment arrived, Baba canceled the 3rd outstanding mission.

Baba sat down where he was when he completed the mission, and removed his token board so he could right click it. This done, Baba's stats improved drastically. Baba found his run speed amazingly fast on his way out of the mission, thanks to the 1k token board’s boost. No need to put IP into run speed for a while now he thought. The next thing Baba wanted to do was to equip a six slot belt, which his increased computer literacy would now allow him to do. He returned to Newland City and sat down in a shop next to a bank terminal and went to work. Out came his various memory chips and other bits and then he removed what had been the trusty Guardian's Circuit Board. Then he put in the 6 slot belt, that he got has loot off a dyna-boss quite a while ago. Into it he put 2 morphing memories improved up to level 117, 2 dark memories, and a memory loop. The net result was an increase of 40 or so NCU. Baba had a nice 63k memory module, in inventory, but he was still short some skill points to equip it. Hopefully Baba will be able to equip that soon.

It may be some time before Baba even goes near a mission terminal, and then only if it is as part of a team mission. It time for Baba to get back into playing with others. So the next time he logs in, he may be heading straight for Mort to do a little solo Borg bashing while he waits for his Looking For Team (LFT) entry to snag him a team spot. He is looking forward to being able to kite high level Borgs without needing an outside run speed buff. But don't let the Borgs tendency put you off, Baba is interested in trying anything froobable. Even some team dyna hunting could be fun.

Exceptional student in the regular classroom

Exceptional Student Handout

Reason #1: adrenaline.
The excitement I talked about it my last post is still there. Multiplied. I've been sleeping about 5 hours a night since then. That's been tough on me since it's KIDZ KABOOM week, but thankfully I wake up just as excited and full of energy as when I went to sleep. The energy fades toward the end of the day... dramatically fades... but I guarantee in about an hour I'll be dancing again.

Reason #2: God. And adrenaline.
One Hour With God was amazing. Spending time in God's presence tonight was like... falling into bed after a long day... it was such a relief! I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was sit and talk with God. About half way through, Pastor Jeff asked me to pray for Kidz Kaboom. In all honesty, I said "no" because I was so tired. Like saying "no" would actually work! I got up and prayed for Kidz Kaboom. Within a couple of minutes of finishing, I forgot I prayed. After the service ended, P. Jeff came up to me and commented about how when we're tired the Holy Spirit takes over! It's so true. I didn't even remember praying. The Holy Spirit definitely took over! He's so good like that :)

Reason #3: Surprises.
An e-mail from Pastor Nate. In August, I will be visiting his church in Michigan. I am so excited! I know it is going to be a great trip. As I've been reading his blog, I can see that God is doing amazing things there. I can't wait to take part in it! (Reason #3 1/2... an e-mail Dr. Freitag and Michael White got from Pastor Nate...)

There's one more reason I can't write about yet. When I can, trust me, I will write my heart out about it!

Life with God is always an adventure. His love makes my heart pound.

A spokesperson for NCU explains, "We will interview and select 24 students that will be required to compete in a slew of Christian themed challenges that will increase in difficulty as the show progresses. The first challenge will be reminiscent of a Junior Bible Quiz tournament that will immediately narrow the field down to 12 finalists."

The school is being relatively tight lipped about what the majority of the challenges will consist of but it did leak a few details about some of the more entertaining and "character revealing" tasks. One particularly interesting challenge will involve the contenders walking a tight rope across Elliot Park while throwing Salvation Tracks out to "heathens". The challenge will be scored on time and accuracy.

"We are trying to incorporate as many different facets of Christian culture and evangelism as possible. But the final challenge will be a true test of perseverance, holiness, and sanctity," The spokesperson continues, "The final two contestants will compete in a winner-take-all prayer language off, the person who can speak in tongues for the longest period of time will take home the handsome reward of a new leather bound Bible and a $250 scholarship for next semester."

The media, at this time, has been given no reason as to why the pentecostal school decided to produce this sure fire mega-hit. Early speculation has pointed out one probable reason being the horrible economy and that a drop in new attendees is partly to blame. NCU most likely expects to make a good chunk of money off local sponsorships it intends to nail down to advertise during the show. As of right now, NCU has already signed four lucrative contracts with Mytshirtguys.com, Buffalo Wild Wings, Northwestern Bookstores, and Hooters. The first episode will air after the NCAA Championship game on CBS.

-Bernstein

23%- The speaker didn't give any other options.

14%- Good chance to get some one on one time with that cute junior.

5%- Requirement for Foundations of Leadership class.

3%- Committed a sin in the last week.

2%- Thought concessions would be served afterwards.

"This has all happened at the worst possible time. Travis and I just dumped over 800 dollars into t-shirts, messenger bags, collectible plates, and even Travis-TV mouse-pads." Henjum complains, "We ordered 'em at the height of his popularity. We stood to make some decent cash. I honestly didn't think the bottom would fall out this fast."

Analyst's believe Travis got too confident about the immense early success his weblog. Some say it all changed when he refused to record an episode specifically for the Youth Major Department Chapel on March 12, 2008. A member of the Youth Committee comments, "Yeah, we tried to contact Travis a few times, we just wanted him to talk about a few topics and kind of do a creative announcement for some upcoming events we had. He completely ignored all our phone calls and emails. We ended up having one of our own members record his own lampoon and it went over really well."

The revelation that anyone can throw together a similar weblog and see similar success opened up the campus to other, better produced and more entertaining weblogs like the one mentioned above and The Baias Blog. A simple history lesson can prove the point that even though people will always remember the "first", it rarely remains the best. Just look at The Backstreet Boys and N*SYNC, we all know who won that contest.

The bottom line is that Travis-TV will have to innovate or dissipate. But regardless Travis, we hoped you enjoyed your 15 minutes of fame as much as we enjoyed your first episode. God speed.

-Bernstein

 Survival Tip #1- College Days is not about figuring out if you want to go to NCU. It is about figuring out if there is a member of the opposite sex pretty enough to make you come to NCU. (The chance that you will actually end up with that person is very slim, but don't let that detour you from making the most impulsive and least cost effective decision of your life.)

Survival Tip #2- It is not your responsibility to babysit the High Schoolers who are forced to sleep in your dorm room. It is your responsibility to make them feel as uncomfortable as possible at all times. For instance, make up words and meanings to those words and use them with such frequency that the high schoolers start to use them too. (Words like Twaddle, Fuddle, or Grundel work wonders.)

Survival Tip #3- Making out should be your primary goal at College Days. If you are a high school male, plan on trying to make out with a college girl for the first few hours, then settling for a high school female after three or four rejections.

Survival Tip #4- If you plan on attending all the NCU sanctioned events, you should just plan on staying home. College Days is a time of freedom, unsolicited make out sessions, and bad choices derived from good intentions.

Survival Tip #5- If you sleep, you've wasted valuable time. If your an attendee, sleeping is wasting video game, flirting, eating, and meaningless socializing time. If you are a college student, sleeping is wasting video game, flirting, eating, meaningless socializing, and relentless pranking time. If you have a high school student that wakes up without BALLS, or a drawing of a penis on his face, you've fallen short of God's plan for your life.

Survival Tip #6- Attendees: The excitement you feel towards NCU during these two days does in fact exist outside of the College Days bubble. It is referred to as Welcome Week and will quickly fade the first day of classes.

College Students: The disappointment you feel towards NCU during these two days does in fact exist outside of the College Days bubble. It is referred to as Every Other Day and won't ever fade away.

Survival Tip #7- Anything that happens this weekend, or anyone you meet this weekend that seems to good to be true most likely is. For instance, he has oral herpes, she has a boyfriend that plays football, and everybody was actually laughing at you, not with you. Welcome to NCU!

Add you own Survival Tips in the comments...

2. You look forward to your birthday/half-birthday only because of the free small milkshake you get from Student Development.

3. You know that LIFECORE has nothing to do with music or pornography, and lacks excitement because of that.

4. You've piled 7 people into a compact car and drove it past the second star to the right, and straight on till morning. (Applebees in Roseville)

5. You own a burned copy of any Shane & Shane CD. Even if your way hardcore, you still listen to it when you "giving devotions a go again".

6. You have picked up a copy of The Northerner, thumbed through the entire paper and didn't find even one article worth reading.

7. You've left the cafeteria with food other than ice cream. Shame on you.

8. You've attended a sporting event for the single purpose of eying your crush. You pretended to care about the game, and then left before it was over.

9. You've laughed, cried, slept, clapped, and sang during Chapel, as well as at it.

10. You can't wait until graduation. Mainly because you could really use a beer right now.

Initially, Dr. Anderson didn't give specific reason for his abrupt departure. After receiving dozens and dozens of emails from students and peers, he informed everyone that he had "received an offer he couldn't refuse" from fast food giant Kentucky Fried Chicken.

"It's been my dream to be the next Colonel Sanders ever since I heard that he had passed on." Anderson continues, "Even when I was a little kid people always told me how much I looked like him. To be quite honest he was kind of my role model growing up. I only accepted the job at NCU to pass the time until KFC contacted me."

After Colonel Sanders timely death in 1980, KFC has been actively seeking a look-a-like to fill his shoes at the company. Anderson had been secretly participating in Colonel Sanders Impersonation Competitions off and on for the last 28 years. Sources say that only his wife knew about it and even she wasn't particularly fond of his unhealthy infatuation with the deceased icon.

"I always supported him in whatever he did." Mrs. Anderson explains, "He was always very good at it too. KFC told him on many occasions that they would have accepted him as the Colonel if only he was a little bit older. Sometimes I thought the ups and downs of being Colonel Sanders impersonator was almost too much for him to handle."

Mrs. Anderson noted that the last time her husband had direct contact with the company (before this offer) was in 1993. That last rejection took it's toll on Anderson and he swore off ever professionally competing again. Until a competition came to St. Paul last September. On a wing and a prayer Anderson signed up and knocked the competition dead. Dr. Anderson explains in his own words, "The last 6 months have been a crazy time in my life. All the contract negotiations, and trying to find a successor at NCU. But I've finally made it. I always knew I was clearly superior. And now the world will know too."

-Bernstein

Your Grade: C

You Learned: How to pretend you care about the 10:40 window, when really all you care about is how fast 10:45 is going to come.

6. Class: Foundations of Leadership

Your Grade: A

You Learned: In a large group of people, it's easier not to get caught sleeping. But not easier to think up a funny comment to shout out at an opportune time, and not have it be overshadowed by someone else's quicker, even funnier comment.

5. Class: Bible Study Methods

Your Grade: B

You Learned: You can write an 8 page paper on two verses of the Bible. And that if you do exactly what the teacher says, you will at least get a C.

4. Class: Rhetoric and Research

Your Grade: B

You Learned: By "research" they really mean "stuff you already know and a bunch of made up citations". (There is no way they check every single source of every single paper.

3. Class: Intro to Office Software

Your Grade: D

You Learned: The term "busy work" was most likely developed by someone who was taking this class. That you will never fully understand the purpose of Microsoft Access and you are okay with that.

2. Class: Systematic Theology I

Your Grade: B

You Learned: There is nothing funny about Transcendental Meditation except mispronunciations.

1. Class: Any Bible Class

Your Grade: C

You Learned: It is possible to pass this class with out ever opening a Bible, concordance, or commentary, regardless of what your father told you.

"It wasn't always this way." The altar explains, "People used to actually change, now they just pour out their hearts, ask for forgiveness, then forget about everything on their way to lunch. I can't carry this burden anymore."

 The altar doesn't only blame the students. Also pointing the finger at chapel speakers, the worship band, and just a general decline in authenticity in the Christian culture. "I've witnessed the most pathetic me calls ever." The Altar continues, "This one missionary didn't even call out specific issues. He just commanded everyone who had been hurt by their friends at some point to come down to me and pray. You'd think he was getting paid per response."

The NCU altar has been joined by thousands of other Christian College and church altars all around the nation. All of them fed up with the overall increase in broken promises being spouted through tears of deceit. After witnessing the success of the Writers Guild of America strike, the altars intend to institute a strike of their own. They plan to picket outside of the AG Headquaters in Springfield, MO until their demand for honesty, integrity, and authenticity on the part of their patrons are met. 

One of the challenges of owning and using a Newton in the modern computing world is its lack of support for Apple's OS X.

There's no easy direct-connect option that offers the stability and goof-proof usability of Newton Connection Kit or Utilities, but there are options (as this Google Answers commentary points out).

The idea is that, using apps like NewTen, Escale or NewtSync, you can sync your iCal and Address Book entries to Newton's own Calendar and Names databases. It's a beautiful idea, and a handy route for us Newton die-hards who want a more modern interface than OS 7+ offers. Who needs a Blackberry or Palm when you've got Apple's original PDA?

I will say that I've tried a few these solutions, and none have worked for me. I think that it's a combination of (a) my USB-to-serial adapter isn't supported by my iBook G4 and (b) these applications require Newton OS 2.0 to run properly. Stuck at OS 1.3, there's not much I can do but use Newton Connection Kit on my G3 Bondi iMac.

But some Newton users have used both of these programs with varied success rates. There has been plenty of dicussion in the Newtontalk mailing list about both applications, and some support is out there for Newton users having issues.

So let's dig into these one by one, and see what each have to offer.

Newton Connection

Also called NCX, Newton Connection is a pretty stable utility to:

backup your Newton data to your Mac desktop, import and export Dates, Names, Notes and NewtonWorks, install packages and use your Mac desktop keyboard to enter text on your Newton device. In fact, most of the functions provided by the Newton Connection Utilities (NCU), but without the need for the Classic environment.

All that according to its site. Connect your Newton via serial (or usb-to-serial), wireless, or ethernet. NCX requires OS X 10.4 Tiger to run, but once it's up, it allows the most accurate depiction of the Newton Connection Utilities environment around. It's so complex, it comes with a 40-page how-to manual.

NEWTSYNC

One of the best-intentioned applications out there, NewtSync (also called, unfortunately, "nSync") aims to sync your Newton with native OS X apps like iCal and Address Book.

Says the download site:

Think of nSync as the converse of iSync. Rather than sync just a bit of information to a whole bunch of devices, it syncs a whole bunch of information to one device, a Newton. nSync is a plugin based app that allows us to move information between our Newtons and our OS X based Macs.

nSync automatically comes with support for Address Book and iCal, and it features plug-in support for updated versions of iLife software, to-do lists, and more.

The app connects with your Newton by either modem, Bluetooth, or over TCP/IP, with options to configure each.

nSync hasn't been supported by its original developer since 2004, but others have picked up the source code and continued to work with it. NewtSync is now on version 0.3.3, but there's talk of NewTen's developer, Steven Frank, is working on it.

NEWTEN

NewTen (get it?) is based on the UnixNPI open source project, but its focus is very narrow - namely, installing packages on MessagePads in OS X. That's it. No syncing, no backup, just packages. But, from what I've read, people are fine with its ability to do that one simple task. The only issue is it only supports serial connection, meaning you may have to bootstrap your modern day Mac, or "any USB serial adapter that installs a driver into Mac OS X's '/dev' directory, such as the KeySpan TwinSerial USA-28X." Download version 1.5.1 here, or the older (and supposedly more stable) version 1.2 here.

ESCALE

Another application based on C++/ObjC from the Desktop Connection Library over at Kallisys, Escale claims to do a bit more than NewTen by offering syncing support and package installation, but its competitive advantage rests in its ability to use your Mac keyboard as a Newton keyboard. Pretty handy. Connect to Escale with a serial port, AppleTalk, and TCP/IP with Rendezvous. Escale is on version 1.0.1 right now.

The Desktop Connection Library hosts other handy software solutions for your Newton, like XML converters.

Make your life a whole lot easier by buying the right USB-to-serial adapter (some swear by Keyspan's model), or hooking up via Ethernet or Bluetooth with the right adapters. Anyway you do it, it's going to be a project.

If/when I get my hands on a 2x00 MessagePad, I'll be sure to try some of this out. In the meantime, however, I'll be syncing my Newton with my (now) trusty iMac and Newton Connection Kit.

Let me know if you've found a better way.

For the first time on this blog, I write not as a humorist but as a fellow student. Like many of you, I was surprised, offended, and largely disappointed yesterday when I found out about the audit that occurred after chapel. (A chapel audit being the "check-out" list that was compiled after the service to be compared to the "check-in" at the beginning, designed to catch those students who checked in without actually attending chapel).

While not actually being present—nor being checked in—I nonetheless felt disrespected and a little ashamed of my school for such a petty act. What disappointed me even more was the attitudes I picked up on of many other students who talked about the audit, not in terms of it's childishness or futility, but in terms of whether or not they got caught, or why they should have to go to chapel in the first place.

I will not say much about the morality of "slashing and dashing" or "who should or shouldn't have gotten caught."—such topics belong in another article. Instead, I only want to discuss the abject failure of North Central in creating a healthy chapel culture (as evidenced most effectively by a very unhealthy chapel audit), and why students have every right to feel cheated, patronized, and belittled by these recent actions.

The primary failure of the North Central chapel program is the lack of a positive chapel environment to which students actually want to attend. While I do believe programming has a big part to play in this problem (the humorous idiosycrasies of chapel culture are well documented on this blog) I think the bulk of the issue rests with us, the students. Simply put, we view chapel as something we have to do—a chore. Such an attitude is very evident even in our language (we don't get to go chapel we have to go to chapel). Such a sour view of something inevitably creates a negative environment fueled by criticism. The results are:

1) students who don't want to go chapel, so they don't, and get fined for it,
2) students who don't want to go to chapel, so they don't, but sign in so they wont get fined, or
3) students who don't want to go to chapel, but do go because they feel guilty, and spend the whole time sitting there thinking about how much they don't want to go to chapel.

I would argue that such attitudes are unhealthy and cannot improve when ignored but only spread.

But while the issue rests with the students, I believe the institution is at fault for creating this culture with us via their policies. Even their language promotes negativity towards chapel (imagine what a change it would be to measure attendance by something positive like chapel goes and not chapel skips). The more the institution reinforces the idea of the necessity of our presence at chapel, it is inevitable that the student body will connotate the chapel as a place we have to instead of get to go to.

The time, energy, and resources wasted in order to conduct yesterday's hopelessly arbitrary chapel audit is prime evidence for North Central's failure to provide students with the necessary positive reinforcement to attend chapel.

Any psychology professor worth his books will tell you that negative reinforcement (even towards positive behavior) may be effective in the short term, but over the long term can create serious health problems in an individual. Likewise, any sociologist or historian could list off the failures of governments and institutions throughout history who repeatedly utilized "obey us or else" tactics.

Were it up to me, chapel would be 3 times per week and optional. Such a policy would guarantee a quality, celebratory program that was attended only by the people that really wanted to be there. But it is not up to me. And while I've had these thoughts for a long time, I've never had a proper platform to voice them, nor known an appropriate action to take to bring change. However, thanks to the Northern Plight, I know have both.

Should I ever be in another chapel service again that conducts an audit, I will not participate. This is not because I wish to "fight the system" or start some adolescent revolution. I simply refuse to continue to participate in a chapel policy system that inevitably creates cynicism and negativity on our campus.

It occurs to me now that if enough of you joined me in boycotting the chapel audit, we might taint their numbers enough to make their records unusable, but sabotage isn't really my ultimate aim. I wont participate, even if I'm the only person who walks out those doors without giving my name for the second time. They can fine me if they wish, but that will only provide me with the opportunity to meet with someone in the institution to lodge a complaint and voice my opinion. I'm sorry, but these attitudes—and tactics that promote them—do not belong on our college campus.

 Thank you for your time, and as always, be awesome.

Woodward

Survival Tip #1-A car is a must have for any relationship to be successful. With the strict guidelines at NCU, sometimes the back seat of your roommates pick-up truck is the only place to get a little one on one time. It also has the ability to mobilize and bring you to places that are too far to walk, like restaurants, bowling alleys, petting zoos, and of course apple orchards.

Survival Tip #2- No canoodeling in the common areas. We totally understand the lack of options you have to swap shoulder rubs and watch movies, but please, please spare us. I go to Clay Commons to talk really loud about something awesome I did with the hopes that someone really attractive overhears me and falls in love, not to watch you spoon in the corner.

Survival Tip #3- Always hold hands throughout the entirety of all chapel services. This includes worship. Recent studies have shown that when two people who really love each other hold hands while praising, their praise output triples. "With your powers combined!"

Survival Tip #4- Premarital sexual intercourse is only wrong if you don't feel bad about it afterwards. So as long as you are positive you'll regret it and repent later you're good to go! And when asking for forgiveness from Jesus, make sure you're not thinking about the next time you might do it because Jesus can read minds.

Survival Tip #5- When sneaking your significant other onto your floor during a non-designated open dorm time, make sure that you don't accidentally yell "Man On!" or "Girl On". Even though this is your natural reaction, the consequences of such a lapse in judgment will yield unwanted results.

Survival Tip #6- Delete your Facebook and/or Myspace profiles. These will only bring your relationship trouble. Any flirtatious comments from former lover's will only spark questions and concern. Along with this, delete any and all phone numbers of members of the opposite sex on your cellular phone, including family members and co-workers.

Survival Tip #7- You must understand the hierarchy of dating at NCU. Freshmen girls only date Senior boys. Sophomore and Juniors can date each other but they must break up before senior year so that the male can rebound with a freshmen girl. Senior females, will most likely be so fed up with NCU males that they will have a boyfriend from another school by this time. Freshmen boys should just throw in the towel and wait for the sophomore/junior doomed relationship. It is almost impossible for freshmen boys to find a college girlfriend. Most freshmen males just cherry pick High School girls from back home to make out with on weekends. But note that if you do this you will be classified as a douche bag.

-SCHROEDER "The Love Boater" BERNSTEIN

A friend of mine over skipped chapel last semester and had to pay close to 300 dollars in fines. In the midst of their complaining about the system, I chose to play the devil's advocate and explain that there were ample ways of keeping track of your skips and in the end it was their own fault. Their emotional response was that why should they get punished for not slashing and dashing while hundreds of other students who don't go to chapel even once a semester get off scot-free?

Why do the honest people always get the poop end of the stick?

I was never a big drinker in high school. The "not a drop" policy at NCU kind of bugs me. Why did the AG decide to take a stand on that? I believe there are plenty of other sins and vices that sneak right under the radar. I think there should be a no tolerance policy at NCU on pride, gluttony, or sloth. I definitely support a dry campus and the fact that underage drinking is bad and illegal. But (for instance) shouldn't a 25 year old married commuter be able to have a couple glasses of wine at his cousin's wedding reception? Drinking is one thing, getting drunk is another. It's the same as surfing the internet and looking at pornography or gambling away your money online. With the internet you have the capability to misuse it and abuse it, and if not used correctly it can easily become a tool for sinning. Why haven't we outlawed the internet at NCU? It's just as capable as destroying lives as alcohol.

Why did we choose alcohol as the poster-boy for sinning and view it as the first step down the road to Hell?

I'll have more later. I'm late for an awesome class that I actually did my homework for.

-Schroeder "The Web Composer" Bernstein

In appreciation of our proud national past time of veiling our responsibilities with shiny boxes and proliferating name brands, the Northern Plight proudly presents the Unofficial North Central University Bak2Skool Shopping List. Enjoy!

METAL BOUND NLT BIBLE
To replace that totally uncool leather bound NLT your grandma gave you for graduating from high school.

RICK WARREN'S LATEST THRILLER
Because, let's be honest, you gotta read everything he writes.

RAMEN NOODLES INSTANT LUNCH
Sensible. Nutritious. Eclectic.

ANOTHER NORTH CENTRAL SWEATSHIRT - A BROWN ONE!
Because you can never over inform people of your chosen institution for undergraduate studies.

HIP MESSENGER BAG
Even though a sensible Jansport evenly distributes the weight of your laptop and books over both shoulders on the strongest part of your body, it simply doesn't carry the mystique of those low riding side packs hanging from your smarting left side.

APPLE COMPUTER STOCK
Ok, not really. But you're all about Apple stuff since you bought that Macbook with the free nano last year.

SOME NOTEBOOKS AND PENS AND STUFF
Afterall, you will occasionally be attending classes during the next semester.

When asked about how he learned so much about computers, Preston explained that the majority of his knowledge came from when he had to figure out how to hide his pornography addiction from his extremely conservative family. "I was probably about twelve when I figured out that I shouldn't just delete the history because of how suspicious that looks. Or that every single thing you do on a computer is saved to a temporary file somewhere. Oh and that cookies are not your friends. Seriously, if my dad knew anything about computers I would have been crucified."

His initial adventures into the underground world of the PC gave Preston just a taste of all that there was to experience with computers. He had no idea that his addiction and the thorough practice of covering his tracks would lead him into a multi-million dollar a year industry. Another unforeseen skill Preston acquired from his porn surfing days is the ability to discover hidden pornography on anyone else's computer. "I actually advertised my skills at my church and would get paid 20 dollars a pop to find out if any kid in the youth group had a few curious mouse clicks." Preston has begun to compare himself to Frank Abagnale Jr., the famous con-artist and check forger who used his skills to later help educate and inform banks on how to better detect fraudulent checks.

"It's weird to say that I owe my new career to Internet porn, and not to the five and a half years of college education I just got a degree for... but whatever, I'm getting paid!" Preston exclaimed. Whether people view Preston's story as one of redemption, overcoming addiction, or personal perseverance, you have to admire his gusto and success. His story also goes to show that it does not always matter what degree you get, just that you get one. In the end, all that matters is a little piece of paper that says you tried and succeeded at at least one aspect in life. Then you can go do what your made for, and in Preston's case that is to open the closet on other people's skeletons and then fix their computers. -Bernstein

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I had a number of credits to transfer to the program and so very soon I must make a decision as to which specialization to follow. Right now, I am considering Management, Organizational Leadership, Marketing, Financial Management or Business Quantitative Methods.

My original plan included working on a topic that was related to my current employment working in the seconds field. I have been trying to figure out which one of the specializations that it fits in! Of course, I do not have to choose something related, I should choose something that I enjoy or have some prior knowledge or work experience. I will take another look at the courses that are offered; perhaps I can narrow down to two specializations and choose a course that is in both of them.