The study covers a wide spectrum of issues including where the baby sleeps, number of night wakings, naps during the day, support from family and friends, method of feeding, mental health of the mother, and so on. I have done a lot of reading on babies and sleep and have never come across anything so comprehensive.

There are, unfortunately, a few questions that are vague or confusing in their wording and that might make the results in some areas less valid. For example, one question asked whether you get up at night to feed the baby. I do sometimes wake up to feed the baby, but I don't get up, so I wasn't sure how to answer that question. In another area, it asks about the total amount of sleep that you get per night. I had a low number (5 to 6 hours), but it isn't because my baby is keeping me up, it is because I'm busy blogging or facebooking or message boarding or whatever. However, they didn't ask what factors impact the amount of sleep you are getting.

The results are expected to be posted on this Web site: Breastfeeding Pharmacology.

Taking the results from this excellent survey combined with the great work of Dr. James McKenna in the Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory, and other findings on normal infant sleep, will amass to an excellent collection of research-based findings on infants and sleep. This will hopefully be able to compete with the hopeless drivel that some authors put out about sleeping through the night, crying it out, and other garbage (see discussion in the excellent article Mistaken Approaches to Night Waking).

If you have a baby 12 months or under, go fill in the survey!  It takes a bit of time (15 to 20 minutes), so don't do it when you're in a rush.

thanks Liz.  my day is better now.

Now for a hodgepodge of other random thoughts:

• Earlier today, my sister asked me to take Anna outside or go in the basement because she "need[ed] to rest." It was almost noon. I had stayed in the basement all morning because I knew Anna would be too loud and would wake up my sister. I've even had Slimfast shakes for breakfast the past few days just so I don't have to walk upstairs and disrupt my sister's sleep. (Usually my dad will come downstairs and watch Anna for a few minutes while I make breakfast, but he's been out of town for the past couple days.) 
• Speaking of my dad being gone... I commend any mom who went through (or is going through) the first couple months of her baby's life completely alone with no support network. I don't think I'd survive if I was around Anna 24/7 with no small breaks to have time alone. Those few minutes my dad watches her while I make breakfast or lunch really helps me keep my sanity during the day. 
• Anna is doing great sleeping at night (8-9 hours on average), but she is HORRIBLE at napping. She enjoys sleeping for no more than 20 minutes at a time, but only if she's in my arms! If I try to put her down, she'll either immediately wake up or be up within 5 minutes. I'd really like her to be able to sleep in her crib for a couple hours in the afternoon, but right now I can only battle it out with her for so long before I give in and pick her up. I just keep reminding myself that she's at least sleeping through the night, and that's good enough for me.
• My best friend will be here in 20 days, and school starts in about 40 days!

The photo wasn't taken using the camera's zoom function.  So,

I took a nap next to a swan.

Fun factor: 7

Our 6 mile training run went surprisingly well. It wasn't too too painful and despite waking up feeling dehydrated, I didn't get any cramps or yucky tastes in my mouth. Since it was a TNT run, we had water stops all through the course, which is also a huge plus. Yummy gatorade.

This upcoming weekend we're supposed to run 8 miles, but I have our yard sale which is in Orlando, so I don't know when I'm going to be running. Probably Sunday night, but that's not really an ideal time to run 8 miles.

After the run I came home, ate breakfast and then had a glorious glorious nap. I think this is the other primary reason why I love saturday morning runs... being able to crawl back into bed exhausted but having earned the nap. :)

There are two sleeping doggies - both snoring - with Toby resting his head on my knee, and Sadie resting her head on Toby's back.

The best I could do was twist my arms around to try and get some stills with the EeePC webcam... (They woke up during all my movements, but then went back to sleeping.)

(Sadie kept turning her face towards the "camera" - such a little diva!)

The car is basically sold. Yippee!!!! It's been on ebay twice now. Last time it missed the reserve by $700. This time we lowered the reserve. No more car payment.

I now have someone cleaning my house. My best girlfriend needs a little extra money, and I DESPERATELY  need the help. I'm justifying it in my mind by the fact that we don't live by any relatives. If we lived close to a grandma, at least I would get time once a week or every other week to clean the house. Or, if my husband wasn't in the garage every Saturday and Sunday. Anyway, it is amazing to have the house clean and not have to do it. It's the perfect situation too, she feels bad taking my money, and I feel bad that I can't pay her more. 12 years of being friends will do that to you.

Tomorrow is my monthly visit with the midwife. I will have more to update then. I also have a video I want to put up for Grandmas. However, Jeff will be home soon and I will lose my computer time. Yes, the laptop is dead again. I don't think it will be making a return to the living anytime soon either.

Lucas funny of the day. Last week I was putting him down for a nap. He is usually a real pain when he goes down. I have to sit in their room until Lucas and Nik are asleep. Lucas is lying in his bed and says, "Mommy, I'm playing with my Penis."

Me: So. You're in your own bed.

Lucas: Oh

That was the end. I guess he just wanted to see if he could get my attention. It worked. On the inside I was cracking up.

I went to bed.  I lay under the duvet, rigid as a board, stressed to the nines and unable to get to sleep.  I had drunk so much coffee, and done so many cunning Jedi mind tricks to keep awake that all ability to nap had flown out of the window.  I was quite annoyed.  I then thought about how hellish my afternoon would have been if the boy Genghis had still been up, and counted my blessings.

I think the main thing that contributed to my already stratospheric stress levels was that while he was refusing to go to bed Oscar decided that he was going to take his self induced potty training to the next level of chaos and I spent the final hour before the trip to bed mired in spaghetti hoops, pooh and wee.  Not quite how I had planned to spend my morning.

When I finally gave up after my initial blog, and dragged him from his cot, his nappy was rather full.  I took him downstairs to change him and then realised, after I had taken his soggy nappy off, that I didn't have any nappies to hand.  I pulled up his new bee bop pants in a feeble attempt to fool him into thinking that this was a wee proof shield of some kind and went nappy hunting.  I found the nappies in the middle floor bathroom, but they were hermetically sealed into an adult proof bag which I had to rip asunder with my teeth.  By the time I got downstairs he had widdled through his bee bop pants onto the hall floor and soaked half the door mat in the process.  He was paddling in it in his socks when I found him.  I was, as you can imagine, overjoyed.

I stripped him off, rinsed him down, put his nappy on and washed the hall floor.  I was slightly at a loss as to what to do with the door mat.  I hung it over the stairs and flapped a tea towel at it.  I don't think it helped much, but it made me feel better.

Oscar then announced that he wanted to use the potty.  I stripped him off and he straddled it very professionally whilst clutching a small card with a picture of a balloon on it.  It seems he's following in the great manly tradition of having to have something to read on the toilet.  While he was enthroned I made him a fabulously nutritious dinner of spaghetti hoops on toast.  He announced just as dinner was served that he was done.

I looked into the potty, expecting to see nothing, as usual. Instead there was the smallest pooh in the world.  It even had a flag attached to a cocktail stick that said it was the smallest pooh in the world.  Oscar was also staring into the depths by now. He looked at it, looked at me, turned very awkwardly to survey his bottom and looked back at mini pooh.  He than raised his eyebrows as if in total incredulity that it had emerged from his being.  He shook his head and announced definitively that it was in fact a 'chocolate' and not a pooh at all.  He wanted to eat it.  We had an earnest discussion.  I explained that he was getting that chocolate in his mouth over my dead body.

We wrestled it to the toilet with me praising him furiously for being a clever boy and him looking totally bewildered about the fact that he had just pushed out a chocolate and he had no idea why we had to throw it away.  We flushed it away, we said goodbye.  We washed our hands.  Then he announced that he needed another pooh.  I offered him the potty.  He refused.  He clutched his knees together and looked pained, demanding a nappy.  He filled two nappies full and refused to go near the potty at all.  I resigned myself to years of trauma and changed to subject by presenting him with his congealed dinner.

He ate an entire tin of spaghetti hoops but decided that unlike normal he couldn't possibly shovel them onto his spoon himself.  I ate a spoonful of my dinner. Then I responded to the plaintive cry of 'More Ooops!'  It took about an hour to eat dinner.  We were both smothered in hoops.  The stain on my right breast is definitely hoop related.  It took me ten minutes to hose down the residue from the high chair.  I blame his feeding regression on the shock of producing pooh chocolate.  It's all going downhill.

He slept all afternoon until it was time for school when the heavens opened and we sploshed to and from school in a thunderstorm.  Horrid Henry won't work on the television because of the rain.  I couldn't go to the library.  I couldn't go to the supermarket.  We are under water and starving and the children are hitting each other under a duvet that is apparently an underground den.  I blame the pooh chocolate.

Still, at least he had a nap.

i got back from volunteering and neither of the furpods seemed too enthused to play.  i have to honestly say, they're not really becoming friends.  when cody bear tries to play with pickles she gets scared.  when she tries to play with cody bear, he gets irritated.  at least they have sleep in common. and treats.

pickles already rocks "sit" and "down" at ten weeks old!  cody bear, who knows more tricks than any dog i have personally ever met, seems reluctant to even sit or come when called any more unless treats are involved.

i think its part of the changes we're all making....

It's so pleasant being lazy and dull and dumb witted. I haven't even properly made up my face, though I have combed my hair and put on decent clothes. I know the queen isn't coming by for tea today, so I don't give a hoot. I've done the dishes and made the bed and cleaned up the living room, so we know a decent person lives here.

I sit here and yawn and think about the next nap and how lovely it is to drift off until the Uberhund nuzzles me with his nose to get me up. This morning I repeatedly hit the alarm clock until the snooze alarm stopped and went back to sleep until the Uberhund thought I had done enough of that and woke me up. He did have dire business to do due to that found bone.

It was already warm outside at 7 AM and we made a longish walk and when we got home, I realized I had forgotten to take the mail to the mailbox, so we went and did that too. We were fairly worn out after that and both took naps. In the interest of science, I am willing to find out how many naps a 53 year old woman can take on a lazy Saturday in early July, accompanied by her trusty four footer.

That bone put the Uberhund off his food for a while, but he just ate a bowl of Frolic, so I guess he is back to normal now. I wonder if he puts two and two together in his mind and associates eating the bone with not feeling so well? At least he had a terrific time yesterday gnawing on it and feeling like a ferocious ancestral being. I am still wondering if we stumbled upon the scene of a crime and it was part of a human thighbone? My imagination works overtime.

The cats are droopy like we all are. We are all just droopy. I called my sister and she was cleaning her house from top to bottom and I think there is something seriously wrong with her, because she sounded as if she was enjoying it. I had to call her about a grammatical question and since she is a trained elementary school teacher there is no better person to ask. I have forgotten so many of those Dutch rules. I always forget to ask her, because i forget she is smart and knows these things.

I have to forward the Exfactor's mail to him now at his new address and I still have to look it up each time, but soon I will know it by heart. I can't address it to that cute house with the climbing rose over the front door portico with the number 15 next to it and the nicely shaped bushes in the front garden.

I enjoy getting mail now, when it is addressed to me in my own name. Even bills I don't mind and I am very organized. I have everything in binders in its own place.

My sister just came by to bring me this weekend's paper. She thought I might enjoy reading it and I said, yes to add it to my stack of recycled paper that needs to be put to the curb. That's on the 26th of July, I mustn't forget that. That's why I've got that no/no sticker on the mail slot, so I won't get any of that extra paper junk in my mail box. The weekend paper is so large too!

The Uberhund was beside himself when he saw my sister and started howling at her with is head pointing at the ceiling. That was a real welcome! He is a kind dog that way. He does have his favorite people.

The Exfactor is coming on Wednesday afternoon to take all the boxes out of the workroom and hopefully he will take the bed at the same time too. If my new bed is not here, I will sleep on the sofa. It will give me a chance to clean up the bedroom really well. There must be several inches of dust under the bed that are hard to get too. Oh, I see why I need this lazy day now. It is to gather my strength for the week to come.

Yes, well, I just wanted it to be lazy. Just for the heck of it. I didn't want it to have a purpose.

A day will come, real soon, when I least expect it, when I will be struck by the window wash genie. I can feel it coming, but it's not quite there yet. I did buy a new bottle of Glassex the other day, maybe that is a coming sign of it. First the spit and polish and then the Glassex.

Well, now I am very droopily going to make me another mug of coffee and try to figure out a way to download some music, there must be a way to do it, bugger!

Have a very good day, droopy or not lazy or active, with or without naps.

Ciao...

I borrowed this post from The World According to Sylvia Garza

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit what the hell happened?”

Bonus: 26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends ’cause you know they’ll enjoy it & do the same.

Second caption: poolside with cousin Kailani, showing her a killer time, dude. Or, "Duuuuuuude," as she would say.

Off to Australia at 6am. Should be no problem because of our little alarm clock who's been singing the time-change-blues since we got here.

I'm a firm believer in listening to my body. This can be tricky because a lot of the time it tells me it wants to eat a pint of ice cream. So I've had to become really skilled at listening... tuning out the noise in favor of the message. And sometimes my slug tendencies are a very important message.

If this were 15 years ago, my inner slug would be telling me to chill out. If it were the 80's, it would tell me to take a cue from Frankie (who apparently left Hollywood shortly thereafter) and relax. If they were wasted, they might tell me to stop harshing my mellow. You get the idea.

The important thing is that often in our heart of hearts we know what we need. We may not always like it (vegetables instead of Ben & Jerry's), but if we listen to the message and do something about it then we will undoubtedly feel better because it will help us get in sync.

You don't always have to be super productive or totally on top of things. We are not perfect. So the next time you feel a need to slow down... do it. Sometimes that call to action we hear is really a call to inaction.

I'd better run. I need to take a nap.

Sometimes, though, it's a little too much fun.  Like at nap time.  Oh my lord.  For two babies who used to not even notice each other, now they can't be stopped.  Their cribs are lined up end-to-end in the little room they share, and now that they can both crawl around and stand up, it's party time.  Sometimes, when I hear them shrieking at each other over the monitor, it's hilariously cute.  45 minutes later, when Rebecca has finally fallen asleep and Daniel is standing at the edge of his crib, glaring down at her, and screaming... not as much.  And he has been fighting the afternoon nap tooth and nail for the last week (they're only 11 months, and definitely not ready to drop a nap).  Once or twice he has skipped it entirely, other times he takes anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes to finally go to sleep.  The resulting nap (if there is one) isn't great, so it makes for a rough rest of the day.

It gets me wondering, as I occasionally do, exactly why I have them sharing a room and how long I want to continue doing it.  Back in the days when they were still waking up at night a lot and taking bottles two or three times, I really preferred having them in the same place.  We went through a phase when M freaked out that they were waking each other up, so we separated them, and it drove me nuts.  Because they'd still wake up at the same time, so now I had to be two different places to soothe or feed them.  No thanks, back in the same room they went.  We kept them right next to each other when we Ferberized, and that really did help them learn to sleep through each other's noises.  And I really do like the idea of these two little kids sharing their room.  I like that they entertain each other, that they make each other laugh.

Except, you know, when I want them to shut up and GO TO SLEEP!

So that's when I wonder.  Why, truly, do I have them in the same room?  Is it better for them?  Better for me?  Or does it just seem cute but is entirely impractical for the sake of sleep?  The main problem is really naps.  At night, they go down pretty well.  But sometimes those naps... ooh, man.  And maybe separating them wouldn't help, and it would turn out that Daniel's just in the midst of a nap strike regardless of who else is in the room.  Hopefully it'll pass, but I know this is something I'm going to come back to over and over again in the next few years...

--- --- ---

Cross-posted at How Do You Do It?

Bed with Shadows

Originally uploaded by bellafiore

My bed is so appealing lately. Summer naps and moonlit dreams. All I want to do is sleep. I have been doing too much to enjoy a quiet, sleepy, drowsy nap. I shall have to take one soon. I think of Imogen's Bed photo and only try to emulate, the sun and shadows that pour into my room each day. Closing the blinds only temporarily shuts out the intruding rays, a breeze caressing the blinds and flopping them about.

And until just a little while ago I was really letting it get me down.  Looking ahead at the next few days, I know there will be new unexpected diversions, but after a short afternoon nap I feel more prepared to meet them head on.  Isn't it wonderful that naps can do that for us?

But for the next few days I'm going to clean closets, get rid of clutter, play games with the kids, cook on hubby's grill, take pictures, email old friends, and pretend I'm on vacation.

We're coming up on one of my favorite holidays...the Fourth of July.  We're a patriotic, flag waving, country loving family and we all head down to march in or watch the big parade in our downtown...not long ago CNN said ours was one of the BEST small town parades in the country...not bad for a little town...but it IS a great parade and I encourage all of you to take your family to your town's, your church's, your family's Independence Day celebrations.

We're having friends in from out of town and maybe even a few family members....we'll see who shows up.  We traditionally have a variety of different Chex Mix flavors and drink Cokes from a can that are ice cold from being covered with ice in the cooler.  We grill hot dogs, hamburgers, and take a swim.  Our church is hosting a community-wide picnic.  It's going to be great!  We'll spray on bug spray and go watch the big fireworks display.  We'll sit - mesmerized - exclaiming, "Oooh!  Ah!  OH THAT's my favorite!" as each one explodes high above our heads.

This year I'll be wondering where we'll all be next year.  My son's considering joining the military, so the colorful explosions over my head will give me pause as I consider where he'll be this time next year...either on his way to college or  who knows where.  My prayer is that he'll choose college for now.  But as I celebrate our independence this year I'll be praying especially hard for all the military families whose loved ones are already out there fighting for us so that we can enjoy another Fourth of July parade and fireworks display.

As you and your family celebrate, hug each one a little closer and praise God for the freedoms we share.  And when unexpected things come up during your summer, stop and take a nap if you can....I know it's already improved my summer...at least for today!

One lesson that I keep learning over and over is to get my activities in-line with my priorities... my real priorities. For me, even if I’m doing a lot, things have to have meaning for me. Otherwise I get tired and cranky, which is not something that is fun for anyone. Work can often be a sticking point here because I work for someone else, which means the company’s priorities always come first. But when I remind myself what I like about my job (and the answer needs to be more than the paycheck!), my spirits improve, I have more energy, and I accomplish more.

Another big lesson is to learn to say no. I used to always try to find a way to fit things in, regardless of whether or not I felt like it. But then I found I would not give it my all and not enjoy myself (and my grumpiness was contagious). So for my sake and the sake of people around me, if what I really want is to say no, I say no. It’s best for everyone. For example, I love catching up with friends over dinner, but if I have too many get-togethers planned in a given week, I am not good company. So by saying no or rescheduling, I really am planning time with myself to rejuvenate, so that when I do get together with my friends, we all have a much better time.

There’s one more lesson that I’ve learned and it is perhaps the most crucial: never underestimate the power of a nap. I have a friend who calls them “nap emergencies.” I love that! Nap sounds so indulgent, lazy, checked out. But a nap emergency... now that is something that demands immediate attention and action on our part. Our health depends on it!

We all get tired. My advice: don’t run yourself ragged. Check in, align yourself with your goals, turn down nagging obligations, and if all else fails, catch a snooze STAT!

I don't find leather couches more comfortable than other ones, but I find they look more elegant - and perhaps, in the context of an office, more professional.

Every Friday, I'd tell whomever else worked in the building that I need two uninterrupted hours to "work."  I wouldn't say what I was doing, I'd be vague and mysterious.  People would be intrigued, or annoyed.

No, they probably would be more annoyed than anything else.

They'd all be like, "that girl is very strange."

I'd then take two hours and sleep. 

I accidentally dozed off (for less than 10 minutes) on the mini-couch in the lunchroom today.  When someone came in, I was embarrassed.  Yet, the tiny nap was refreshing, and I enjoyed it while it lasted. 

Should I ever work in an office again - and find myself with a room to call my own - I'm getting a couch and I'm sleeping on it during my Friday lunch break.

Make no mistake about that.