**********************************
Someone once told me that there are only seven basic storylines in all of literature and entertainment. All stories, this person (who was slightly less fun at a party than I am) said, can be boiled down to one of seven basic plots. He then listed them for me (proving my point about the whole who's-more-fun-at-a-party thing). They are, to the best of my recollection:

1. Boy meets, loses, and gets girl.
2. The quest story where the hero needs to get something and bring it back -- but that something is not the girl.
3. How difficult it is to be the manager of an aquarium.

I can't remember the other four, but you get the gist of it. Interestingly, Ryan Reynolds has starred in a movie about each of the seven basic plot lines.

I think that analysis is too reductive; saying that any story where there's love in it is a boy-meets-girl story is the same as when my kids say hamburger again but it's not hamburgers, it's Sloppy Joes. If the meet is in a different form, it's a different meal, right?

So there's a greater variety of plot lines than Mr. Boring Party Guy wanted to believe, but even with that, there are two constants in storytelling, two elements that must be present in every story for a story to transcend the ordinary. They are [REVERSE SPOILER ALERT, SINCE THE TITLE TELLS YOU WHAT'S COMING NEXT, BUT IF YOU'VE FORGOTTEN THE TITLE OF THIS POST, THEN DON'T GO BACK AND READ IT BECAUSE IT REALLY WILL BE A SPOILER THEN]

... as I was saying, they are:

1. The hero must run somewhere at the end to achieve his goal, and
2. Cool music must be playing over that run.

Those two, put together, are not only a hallmark of, but are the pinnacle of art. Simply put, if at the end of a story, the hero isn't running somewhere with some great music providing the dramatic musical background to the run, then everything that's come before it worthless. That's why the ending to The Sopranos had so many people upset. It would have been entirely different if Tony Soprano had gotten up from that booth, started running outside, made it to the FBI's office or his house or the corner newstand that was just closing up, all while, say, Erasure's A Little Respect was playing over the scene:

remember the intro that you didn't read? This was a video; click this link to read this entry with the soundtrack it needs.

and then fade to black.

See what a genius I am? If I'd been in charge, there would at least have been one good scene in the history of The Sopranos.

That kind of scene at the end is necessary because by having the hero run, the writer/storyteller demonstrates the urgency of the hero's quest, and by extension, the urgency of our own lives. It provides a jolt of adrenaline at the end of the story that makes the observer finish on an energetic, up note, as compared to, say, an ending where Richard Gere and Diane Lane just sit at a stoplight, making the viewer want to just sit there, too, and creating a nation of couch potatoes.

The hero running at the end of the story, with music, is also necessary and desirable because it demonstrates the key facets of civilization as we've come to know it and sometimes love it, namely, that humans are always trying to get somewhere, and also that humans really like music.

Having established that any story or movie or TV show that does not end with the hero running to get somewhere is just trash, it's time to consider which movie put those two together best -- and it has to be a movie or TV show, really, because while the running part can be put into books, it's harder to do it with music unless the publisher ships a CD with the book and at various points in the book the reader is instructed to play the CD.

Which they should do; I listen to music when I write to help create the mood I'm looking for (which is always earn money. That's the mood of my writing.) The reader should be given a chance to experience that mood through the music the writer wanted. In short, books should have soundtracks, and they just may someday because of things like that electronic book reader from Amazon which can let you download pretty much any book you want; how long will it be before you download the soundtrack to the book, too?

You know I'm on to something, here. I'm always on to something, here, because I'm a genius and a societal leader. So remember: books with soundtracks = my idea.

Until society catches up with me, great running-with-music scenes will exist only in movies, TV shows, and the rare very-modern art museum where they will play music and have employees perform a sort of flip-book of Monet works. But it's mostly movies, for now.

The real key to a running-at-the-end scene is the music, though, because, let's face it, running is running. It doesn't matter if it's Billy Crystal running to meet Meg Ryan when people liked her still, or all those guys in Chariots of Fire running onto the beach to get away from that shark*

*I haven't actually seen Chariots of Fire; I'm just guessing.

it's all still running. The music that the running is set to, then, is what sets your run-of-the-mill (PUN INTENDED) running scene apart from something classic. That Chariots of Fire scene, for example, with the song they play over it, lacks something of the dramatic element. The song is grand and all, but it's also sad and ponderous and lets you know that probably 3 of those guys are going to get eaten anyway.

Again; another video was here, so click this link to read this entry with the soundtrack it needs.

What's needed to really make the scene is something that's uplifting and dramatic and a little different and features a really obscure instrument. Something like Music for A Found Harmonium, the song from Penguin Cafe Orchestra which you think you've never heard but which you have in fact, heard.

I've actually known about Penguin Cafe Orchestra without knowing about that I've known about them (chew on that for a minute) since their song Telephone and Rubber Band :

This was a particularly neat video, too, and I don't know why websites won't just let them be published, but, then, there you go. Authoritarians can be found everywhere.

was featured over the credits of Eric Bogosian's concert film of his one-man show, Sex, Drugs & Rock and Roll, but I didn't know it was Penguin Cafe Orchestra or even know they existed.

Just like I didn't know what a harmonium was until [OBSCURE MUSICAL INSTRUMETN SPOILER ALERT] Adam Sandler found one in Punch Drunk Love, which I heard - -maybe from the same Mr Boring At Parties Guy -- was actually a retelling of Popeye. When I hear something like that, that an Adam Sandler movie that came this close to making me actually cry, is in reality just a live-action Popeye cartoon, I don't know whether to laugh or just start driving unti I reach Arizona.

But it all came together, Penguin Cafe Orchestra and harmoniums, when I saw the closing scene from Napoleon Dynamite, where [ENERGETICALLY RUNNING SPOILER ALERT AND ALSO THERE WILL BE A MENTION OF A FISH] Napoleon runs through town to meet that girl whose name I was never quite sure of to offer her a delicious bass, and in the background, the movie plays Music for A Found Harmonium by Penguin Cafe Orchestra.

The music, like the movie, is offbeat but engagingly so. It builds and builds, swirling around the theme and adding little bits here and there, until it suddenly seems to take off into flight; it's like the music is evolving from a small grounded creature to a glorious bird, a bird that is best exemplified by ... um, Napoleon running. But the point is that the music and the moment both match each other and inspire each other, the way that Paul McCartney and John Lennon were great together and really never amounted to anything solo.

The music, too, leaves the viewer hopeful and happy and thinking Hey, life is good, and I can achieve my dreams, whatever they may be. That's a good way to end on a Friday, so listen to the song and have a great weekend:

Honestly, it's a great song, so click this link to read this entry with the actual songs or you will regret it for the rest of your life.

Click here to see all the other topics I’ve ever discussed!

Semicolon

ellipses
by

brianefp

Create a Custom T Shirt Using www.zazzle.com
See other Humor Sayings T-Shirts

Thinking The Lions is the hilarious compilation of the adventures of a guy with a lot of kids, a lot of love of 70s music, a lot of time to watch Battlestar Galactica, and a very patient wife. Life, only funnier.

- En realidad no estuve alojado en Puerto Vallarta (como había anotado anteriormente), sino en una casa que quedaba en Bucerías, Nayarit. Es como decir que vas de vacaciones a Celaya, pero te quedas hospedado en Cortazar jaja.

- Fue una llegada a la costa diferente. En vez del clásico check in, la cambiada a traje de baño y el chapuzón al mar/alberca, llegamos acalorados a una comida con motivo de la inauguración del negocio de un tío (Hector) de mi novia. Sí hubo cheves varias y una carne asada bastante decente, pero de alguna forma u otra deseaba estar sumergido en agua salada en vez de estar sumergido en mi sudor escuchando a un conjunto musical que no se sabía la mayoría de las canciones que la clientela le pedía.

- Finalmente probé una Carlsberg (marca de cercezas que patrocinan a mi adorado Liverpool FC) y, bueno, estuvo FANTÁSTICA, se tendrá que repetir.

- Echar nightclubbing en Puerto Vallarta (y generalmente en cualquier lado) puede ser una experiencia realmente frustrante principalmente si no eres un derrochador de dinero. Para entrar a un antro el cadenero te lo pinta muy bonito pero ya adentro de la extorsión es épica (por ejemplo pagar $125 de cover para que te den una copita de "margarita" o que te vendan 2 cervezas por $90) y de paso la música no es muy buena (con horas y horas de reggeaton mezclado con electrónica y hip-hop, esto debido a la presencia de turismo norteamericano, ¿dónde quedó la cumbia texana? jaja).

La mejor estrategia es comprar "litros" en locales independientes, ingerirlos en cualquier banquita del malecón y ya después entrar a algún antrillo donde no se aprovechen tanto de tus ganas de divertirte. Sí puede ser alcohol barato, sí pierdes glamour, pero mínimo te puedes concentrar en pasarla bien en vez de sentirte robado y ponerte de mal humor.

- Staff del barco "Zarape" a cargo de la etapa de snorkeling: - "Los snorkels sirven para respirar debajo del agua amigos, aunque muchas veces los tontos lo utlizan de popote... hey amigos, los googles sirven para ver debajo del agua, no las estrellas" -. Jajajaja, la gente de la costa en taaan cagada.

- En la casa que nos prestaron para quedarnos (que lucía haber sido abandonada una considerable cantidad de tiempo atrás) tuvimos una pequeña carencia llamada televisión (que de cualquier forma no me hubiera sido úitl a menos que tuviera ESPN), la cual tuvimos que suplir con buenas rondas de dominó (en el cual, como buen yerno, le daba el gane a mi suegro), Rummy (con el que generalmente hago corajes) y toda la variedad de juegos que incluye Ubuntu (instalado exitosamente en la lap de mi novia 8-| ), en los cuales destaco mi campeanato local de Gnometris con un puntaje de 21420.

- Al principio de la canción "Perdóname" de La Factoria, pareciera que la cantante dice papiloma!!! jajaja, tal vez tenga unos cuantos champiñones en su aquello. Uah!!.

- Conseguimos infiltrarnos a un hotel (Villa Varadero) en Nuevo Vallarta bajo en plan de "come y toma lo que puedas" y aproveché para atascar mi sistema de "rusos blancos". De repente recordé fragmentos de "The Big Lebowki" y no podía dejar de pensar en la escena en la que el protagonista (Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski) remoja su barba en este delicioso líquido jajaja.

La prueba para diagnosticar si los cócteles están haciendo sus efectos es la "prueba del popote", si para tomarle batallas para introducir el popote en tu boca, entonces YA ESTÁS en la onda.

- Hubo elecciones en todo el estado de Nayarit, por lo cual todas las calles estaban plagadas de carteles y demás promociones. En las elecciones locales, correspondientes al municipio de Bahía Banderas, todos los candidatos lucián en sus propagandas tupidos bigotes y barbas, mostrando una desfachatez total (sobre todo Pepe Cuevas, del Partido Verde Ecologista, que me recordaba a mi profe de Fundamentos de Desarrollo de Sistemas, Veloz se apellida); el único candidato que se afeitó para su imagen promocional fue Martin Estrada, del Partido del Trabajo, quien dudo que haya ganado por la extraña mirada gay que lucía.

- Mariana, una de mis cuñadas, DEFINITIVAMENTE no puede tacklearme.

- Tuvimos hasta tiempo de ver "Napoleon Dynamite" y pude notar que, aunque a mí me desternilla de risa a pesar que la he visto ya unas 5 o 6 ocasiones, el humor de este filme no es para todos, siendo clasificada incluso como "una película tonta". Horas después, ya en la carretera de vuelta para acá, Ana (mi novia) me compartió el mensaje de la película (mensaje que yo aún no había captado): "Sigue siempre tu corazón". Un mensaje profundo que facilmente se escapa entre risa y risa.

- A pesar de que estas vacaciones tuvieron momentos que alcazaban la categoría de FUCKING HELL (como cuando caminamos unas cuadras abajo a la playa para regresar totalmente empapados por una inesperada lluvia de mediodía o la casi-hora de calor agónico en el trayecto a-vuelta-de-rueda ya de regreso a través de La Piedad, Michoacán), tan sólo ver la sonrisa de mi novia y recibir sus caricias de -tranquilo, esto se acaba pronto-, hacen que todo eso se olvide pronto y pasen a ser sólo una anécdota de la cual reirnos. Le doy las gracias a mi amor y a su familia. Gracias. Gracias. Gracias.

Le doy unos agradecimientos especiales a Mariana por prestarme su cámara fotográfica ;) .

- Regresar siempre es reconfortante. Fue extraño sentir de nuevo la caricia del mouse o descubrir que ya mis Cerveros de Milwaukee son segundos en la Nacional Centro, pero lo que fue aún más extraño fue entrar a la cocina y descubrir un refrigerador nuevo, saca cubitos de hielo y demás curiosidades, pero lo mejor de todo es ya sabré exactamente lo que hay dentro de él, en vez de ver comida encima de comida :D .

Who ever drew this in the first place, has skills even Napoleon Dynamite would want - God I love that film, if you haven't seen that film you suck.

Check it out. All in MS Paint. Talented indeed.

Tail bone bit still gets me, drawing a coccyx? That even sounds weird .... eurgh, but otherwise amazing.

Excuse lame music.

I apologize for not writing more as of late.  I'm getting ready to move back to Pikeville for a while, and I've been trying to get things in order for that.  I'll get back on track soon; I have all sorts of things I want to talk about, it'll just take me some time to do it.

His parents sent him to a French Military school, where his French classmates viewed him as a Corsican savage. He emerged as a French artillery officer, and was put on garrison. (Garrison is defending a city or region). He rose to prominence as a General of the French Revolution, leading successful campaigns against the First and Second Coalitions against France. In 1799, Napoleon signed a coup d’état and installed himself as the First Consul; five years later he crowned himself Emperor of the French. In the First decade of the nineteenth century, he turned the armies of France against almost every major European Power, dominating Continental Europe through a lengthy streak of military victories—epitomized through battles such as Austerlitz and Friedland—and the formation of extensive alliance systems, appointing close friends and family members as monarchs and government figures of French-dominated states.

Here are 5 video Documentaries to explain the rest of Napoleon. After the videos, there will be pictures and maps explaining more abut Napoleon and what he looked like, and the boundaries of the Huge French Empire.

Waterloo-1/5

Waterloo-2/5

Waterloo-3/5

Waterloo-4/5

Waterloo-5/5

Here are some pictures, maps, and images of Napoleon and his Empire.

Allright, Allright, I'm kidding.... Now I'll be serious
Napoleon in his Study

Napoleon's Empire

Click on the image to make it bigger
Napoleon on Horse #1

Napoleon on horse #2

This is Corsica

Scott

Sources:

Vote

for

Lafawnduh.

eso no es lo mío
esto es lo mío.

Dear friends,

I'm back! I went bowling yesterday... met some great friends from work and we rocked the bowling alleys... this image captures the essence of the evening... united we fight depression!!! Betuel looks aaaaamazing! The theme of our evening was "the big Lebowski"... but due to the fact that just before I went bowling, I saw "Napoleon Dynamite"... I kind of mixed the two movies and they both influenced me... so the result was a mega nerdy bowling freak! We all dressed up, and (but you can't see it)... my little finger has a purple layer of nail polish on it... yeah... just like John Turturro had in the movie... my pseudonym was indeed: "Jesus"...

The bowling was cool... needless to say, I sucked... I came almost last out of nine players... and due to the fact that the place was full of "prolls", I even got loads of fucked-up looks... guess why.... ehm, ehm... well, they better get used to me. When depressed I tend to exaggerate even more! My knee is not in a good condition and I hurt it even more while bowling! How can that be! After not even two hours of playing I already felt real pain in the knee!?!?!... Gettin' old are we????!?!?

O.K. so not everything is as bad as it plays in my head! But I can't help it... it overcomes you sometimes and you just can't fight it. I wish I knew a way to change what and how I feel inside... maybe in time... I'm still blocked inspirationally... so I'm spending entire days in the net, desperately searching for new things to hit me! Internet auctions are a cool thing too... I even won a couple! The stuff I bought... hmm... glittery and shiny clothes, accessories, video games and toys... most of these things will end in my archives and will be used for further art projects.

The 21st of June was the longest day of the year... sunlight wise... and now summer has officially begun, even though it is still a bit too cold for me. Anyway... alas, summer and with it the days will get shorter and shorter... heck... Christmas is only less than five and a half months away... Shit I hate how time flies so fast!

Love,

Ivan

Entertainment Weekly recently wrote about 100 movies (see their list below) from 1983 to 2008 that it believes will be classics in the future.  They call them the New Classics.  I have BOLDED the ones I have watched - about 80%.  Do you agree, disagree with the movies on their list?  Definitely a pretty good list.  I was more surprised at the order at times than movies included.  I think the most difficult thing is to compare movies of the late 80s/early 90s with 2000+ movies as some of the earlier ones seem to be "classics" already.  A little surprised about The Office Space (73), Napoleon Dynamite (90), and a few others that were lower on the list given their position as cultural classics.  South Park (100) was a bit surprising on a list of classics.  What do you think?

Don't forget to enter our free DVD Giveaway by posting a comment on  Meet Bill DVD Giveaway post.

The New Classics: Movies

The 100 best films from 1983 to 2008

1. Pulp Fiction (1994)
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)
3. Titanic (1997)
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995)
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
9. Die Hard (1988)
10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
12. The Matrix (1999)
13. GoodFellas (1990)
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
16. Boogie Nights (1997)
17. Jerry Maguire (1996)
18. Do the Right Thing (1989)
19. Casino Royale (2006)
20. The Lion King (1994)
21. Schindler's List (1993)
22. Rushmore (1998)
23. Memento (2001)
24. A Room With a View (1986)
25. Shrek (2001)
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986)
28. Wings of Desire (1988)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
30. When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999)
33. The Breakfast Club (1985)
34. Fargo (1996)
35. The Incredibles (2004)
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
37. Pretty Woman (1990)
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
39. The Sixth Sense (1999)
40. Speed (1994)
41. Dazed and Confused (1993)
42. Clueless (1995)
43. Gladiator (2000)
44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (1988)
46. Children of Men (2006)
47. Men in Black (1997)
48. Scarface (1983)
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
50. The Piano (1993)
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)
53. The Truman Show (1998)
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)
55. Risky Business (1983)
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)
58. Ghostbusters (1984)
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996)
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)
63. Big (1988)
64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987)
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)
67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
68. Witness (1985)
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987)
71. Unforgiven (1992)
72. Thelma & Louise (1991)
73. Office Space (1999)
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006)
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
81. Moonstruck (1987)
82. Lost in Translation (2003)
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004)
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
87. Swingers (1996)
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
91. Back to the Future (1985)
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

The Bushwhackers are the first MMA contributors at the Sports Baron.  Luke made a trip with me to Torrey pines and rocked it.  Butch, is his tag team partner and a gritty, yet tough younger brother.  They are well-known MMA experts these two guys from the outback are making there MMA picks better than Jimmy The Greek. The Greek handicapped footballs games and these guys will handicap TUF Finale on Saturday night.

Evan Tanner (34-8-0) Vs. Kendall Grove (10-5-0)

Luke:  To be honest I am really not that exited about this fight and the only reason its headlining the event is because Kendall won the TUF 3 finale. That being said, there are some interesting storylines. First, Evan Tanner spent all of 2007 walking the USA Kung Fu style, not training or staying in shape, just basically road tripping around the country. Interesting move for a guy who was the UFC’s middleweight title holder in 2005, but who am I to question a fighter I sit behind a computer all day. So late in 07 he decided he was bored of bumming around and started training again, got in shape just in time for Yushin Okami to lay waste of him in Round Two of his first fight back into the Octagon. Grove has been on his own journey himself over the past two years. After starting off strong following his TUF 3 win, he dropped his last two fights and has changed been two three fight camps in the past 18 months. He seems to have found a home with BJ Penn back in his native Hawaii and is finally coming to grips with the expectations of being a star in the UFC. Whose going to win? I have no idea, but if I had to guess I am going with Grove. He’s half a foot taller than Tanner, got great stiking and I imagine rolling with BJ on a daily basis has really sharpened his ground game. Triangle Choke Round Three victory to DA SPYDA.

Butch:  Tanner has lost 3 of his last 4 fights in the octagon, but was once considered a dominant force.  Kendall Grove is 3-2 since winning the 3rd season of the ultimate fighter. Both of those loses were in the first round and are his most recent fights.  This is do or die match for both fighters with the loser possibly being cut from the UFC. I have Grove via submission.

Hannibal Lector's Brother fights TUF.

Amir Sadollah (1-0-0) Vs. CB Dollaway (7-1-0)

Butch:  Rematch of the ultimate fighter semi finals.  CB has the skills and experience to dismantle Sadollah.  However, Sadollah submitted Dollaway via arm bar in the third round of a fight he was losing badly.  Look for CB to take this fight to the ground. I have CB via unanimous decision.

Luke:  The culmination of a great TUF season full of some of the best fights the series has seen.  Amir reminds me a lot of Luke Cummo(of TUF 2 fame), because no one gave him a shot at winning a single fight let alone making it to the final.  Rampage even told him he was going home in the first episode of the show when he had to fight his way onto the squad.  The guy is tough period.  He’s not outstanding at striking or grappling or wrestling, but he is good enough at each to at least defend himself versus any fight style.  Yes, that sounds like a back handed compliment, but the reality is he’s hard to KO, he’s hard to submit and he’s hard to score decisive points against, which is why he’s made it to the final.  Oh, and when he sees and opening he takes advantage of it i.e. Gerald Harris(TKO), Matt Brown(Triangle Choke), CB Dollaway(Armbar).  On the other hand, CB reminds me a lot of Joe Stevenson, Cummo’s opponent in the TUF 2 finale.  He’s been the favorite from day 1, he was the first pick in the competition and frankly, no one wanted to fight the guy.  Like Stevenson he’s a dominate wrestler that likes to ground and pound his opponents.  Very strong, very athletic and in great shape.  That being said, CB lucked into the finale.  Unfortunately, Jesse Taylor chose get hammered and throw away his shot at a UFC contract, and that opened the door for CB to take out Tim Credeur via decision.  Alright thanks for the background, but who is going to win?  My take on these reality shows is that they really even the playing field for the participants because no one has and extended period to train or prepare for one signal person, thus guys like Amir or Luke are actually at an advantage because they are fairly well rounded and people take them lightly.  That being said when you give a fighter 8-12 weeks to heal, train, eat right and prepare a game plan, I have to side with the fighter with superior skills and that is clearly CB.  Now that’s not to say this will be a blood bath because it won’t.  Like it or not CB has been caught by Amir once and that’s going to be in that back of his head.  Secondly, Luke Cummo was a heavy heavy underdog to Stevenson and that fight still went to decision.  So in that light I’ll take CB in a decision.

This week I borrowed a Jamiroquai album with the song "canned heat" -- from the famous dance scene in Napoleon Dynamite.
"You know this boogie is for real." Profound words.

I've always liked dancing, since back in the days when I would choreograph dance moves to all the songs from the Aladdin soundtrack. I still remember a move from the very beginning of the song "You never had a friend like me" where I would squat down and then suddenly jump up and spin around like "kerpow!"
Honestly at that age I would have given anything to show my sweet skills to the world via a school talent show. My friends and I almost started a Christian pop girl group called "Hazel" -- sadly, one of those dreams that never saw fruition... just like my ambitions to be president of a statewide Garfield fan club...

But dancing, man. One of those liberal arts (such as flower arrangement) some critics would say shouldn't be considered a legit major for a college student.

Thinking about this, I consider what occupations are vital and which are not vital to society. Because dancing has been a part of almost every culture in every time period has it not? ("the history of dance may be as long as humankind and before" -- authentic source)

And I tend to refer to the history books as a measuring stick for truth since, you know, whatever repeats itself over the course of thousands of years must be a true representative of the way things really are, or at least of human behavior. Observing mankind's patterns of behavior is one reason I became weary of religion (since the dawn of time, man has worshiped different gods, and believed different myths, etc.)

One could deduce that man needs myth just as much as he needs the arts and other expressions of the soul (and/or body).

I dance because ... sometimes you just gotta.

Know what I mean?

jeje... nee, bueno a lo que el título del post se refiere es a un concepto o idea que es generalemte aceptada como cierta pero que en realidad es un error general, como en la red podemos permitir todo, menos mentiras, he aqui una lista de lo que es un error del "conocimiento popular":

1.- La altura de Napoleón Bonaparte: el error popular de su "corta" estatura proviene de dos fuentes principales: en Francia era apodado "Le petit caporal", que petit fue traducido de manera literal como pequeño y no con el significado popular que le hacía referencia con un término afectivo; por otro lado Napoleón media 5 pies 2 pulgadas francesas, que al trasladarlas al sistema inglés serían algo asi como 5 pies 6.5 pulgadas (osea 1.69 M), lo cual era más alto que el promedio francés de aquel tiempo, junto a esto Napoleón siempre estaba rodeado de su guardia de élite, todos ellos medían más de 6 pies de alto.

2.- La muralla China: en una órbita baja sobre la superficie terrestre (unos 185 km) se pueden observar partes de la muralla, aunque a esa altura varios objetos hechos por el hombre pueden verse con mayor o menor claridad, objetos tales como: ciudades, edificios, barcos y carreteras. Pero el mito de que esta es la única cosa hecha por el hombre desde la luna es totalmente falso. Ninguno de los astronautas del Apollo 13, comentan haber visto algún objeto hecho por el hombre... y ciertamente... no la muralla China, aunque la muralla china es larguísima en comparación con su ancho es muy delgada (3 metros), además esta hecha con materiales de la región, por lo que se confunde mucho con el entorno.

3.-Hoyos negros: la gravedad cerca de un hoyo negro es ligeramente menor  a la gravedad del cuerpo que la origino, esto se puede explicar desde dos ángulos: la ley de la gravedad de Newton nos dice que dos cosas afectan la gravedad percibida por un observador: la distancia al objeto y la masa del mismo, así la masa del hoyo negro es ligeramente menor a la supernova que la creo, esto debido a que una parte de la masa se convierte en energía segun la ley de  la relatividad de Einstein, además el horizonte de sucesos de un hoyo negro es casi siempre menor que el radio de la estrella original, el concepto de los hoyos negros como "aspiradoras intergalacticas" queda así como incorrecto.

4.-El efecto Corioli: para los que no sepan a que me refiero... recuerden aquel capítulo de los simpson cuando Bart llama a muchos países del hemisferio sur a preguntarles hacia donde corre el agua de su retrete... ¿ya? bueno ese efecto es llamado el "efecto Corioli", es un hecho registrable... pero solo en fenómenos meteorológicos de cientos de kilómetros, como los huracanes... y no es registrable para nada en el retrete, el efecto se debe, eso sí, al movimiento de rotación terrestre.

5.- Capacidad cerebral: la gente SI usa el cerebro de manera completa, el mito de que solo usamos el 10% de nuestra capacidad cerebral es falso, esto se pudo haber originado por el descubrimiento de las células gliales, las cuales son los tejidos que se cree "conectan" a las neuronas dentro del cerebro, además de desempeñar una amplia variedad de acciones, otra razón puede ser dada por el hecho de que despues de una lobotomía donde te retiren hasta el 10% de la masa cerebral, puedes vivir una vida normal, se cree que esto puede ser por la redundancia cerebral, esto es, el cerebro no almacena la información en una sola área, sino en varias partes del mismo.

6.- El graznido de los patos: el mito de que el graznido de los patos (cuak) no produce eco... es falso... y ya... bueno el rumor de que esto era verdadero fue probablemente esparcido por internet, pero el Trevor Cox de la universidad de Stanford en Inglaterra un día tomo a un pato, lo metió en una cámara de reverberación y probó lo que el sentido común nos indica: el cuack del pato... hace eco, aunque su volumen sea muy bajo.

7.- El azul del mar: el color de los lagos o los grandes cuerpos de agua, NO es debido a la reflexión del color del cielo, el color azulado del agua es debido a que el agua ES azul, las moléculas de agua absorben la luz y absorben más el color rojo que el azul, pero este efecto es casi imperceptible hasta que el agua esta almacenada en cuerpos de varios metros de grosor (como lagos o presas), el efecto del cielo sobre el color azul del mar existe, pero juega un papel menor.

8.-Montañas más altas: indiscutiblemente el monte Everest es el punto más alto sobre el nivel del mar (8,850 m), pero si nos vamos a la altura desde la base hasta la punta, el volcan Mauna Kea en Hawaii es el más alto del mundo: tiene una altura desde la base de 10,314 m de los cuales solo 4,208 salen de la superficie del mar, pero si nos vamos a la altura midiendola desde el centro de la tierra hasta el punto más alejado del mismo: el volcan Chimborazo en Ecuador se lleva el honor, puesto que en el ecuador la tierra se "alarga" (en los polos se "achata") tiene 2,100 m "más" que el Everest.

9.-La manzana de la discordia: en ninguna parte del libro del Génesis se dice que la fruta que comieron Ádan y Eva era una manzana, la fruta es llamada "la fruta del conociemiento del bien y del mal" y no esta identificada con alguna especie, la imagen de la manzana como dicho fruto puede venir de la Inglaterra medieval, donde a todas las frutas les llamaban: Apple (manzana), esto inlcuía a todas las frutas que no fueran moras o vides, incluyendo a las... ¡nueces! y este término continuó así hasta el final del siglo XVII.

10.-Yo no desciendo del mono: ¿ustedes si?... es un error creer que Darwin dijo que la especie humana desciende de los monos, el nunca lo dijo y de hecho ningún biólogo lo puede decir (mi primo es biólogo y apoyó a Nezareth Castillo Rey cuando dijo algo asi como que "el no viene del mono"), el mito fue esparcido por fervientes religiosos quienes buscaban desacreditar a Darwin, aunque de hecho los humanos y los chimpacés somos primos (compartimos el 94% del DNA), ambos descendemos de un ancestro común (el Sahelanthropus tchadensis) que existió alrededor de 7 millones de años en el pasado.

UN BESO A MIS FANNS... DEBSTEITOR SMASH!!

I went for my inaugural ride today on my new bike.  Though I have ridden a bike approximately seven times since I turned fifteen, for some reason I recently decided bicycling was going to be my route to enhanced physical fitness and mental health.  I feel well on the way to achieving the desired results and the thoughts of Butthead from the classic MTV cartoon come to mind.  "A couple of more days of this and I'm going to be totally ripped."  Or something to that effect.

I was also inspired to take up this new hobby by a fortuitous intermingling of several other events.  As discussed some days ago, I have a class reunion coming up.  I think I've lost just about all the weight I can by altering my diet, but I'd really like to drop another five over the next few weeks.  It is highly unlikely that anyone will care about my aging, soft physique, but I'd still like to maximize my presentation.  I wonder if class reunions were held every year instead of every 5-10 if the collective health of the nation would improve.  I dare say it would.

My current hometown, Ridgeland, also played a part in this new interest.  I typically despise small town politics, but I have to give credit where it is due.  Our city council is doing some nice town planning, no small part of which has been the construction of bike paths. Bike paths are a true indicator of the liveability of a community.  In this part of the country, they are typically present only in resort towns and affluent communties, and I suppose Ridgeland qualifies for the latter.  Whenever I have been in a town with them, I've always found the town to have a lot going for it.  I know these paths are more common out west, and the accessibility of outdoor activities like this are but one reason I've always wanted to move out there. Anyway, if my town was going to eviscerate one of my reasons for griping about living there, by God, I guess I better participate.

And finally, gas prices are so damned high, I figured if I used the bike in place of driving just once or twice a month it would be worth it.  I don't know if its so, but I am under the impression Europeans commonly use the bicycle for short trips and errands.  It seems kind of cool.  And green.  Hopefully my new bike and I can pick up a bit of that coolness and greenness.

Finally, I share with you a vignette from today's ride.  Cruising down Ridgeland's fine trail system with my unscratched bike, and bicycle shop water bottle advertising my newbie biking status, I happened upon three attractive young girls out for a ride.  As I passed them, I heard one say, "over to the left, a real biker is passing."  Well, you can imagine this sat very well with me and further vindicated my choice of new hobby. Silver-tounged devil that I am, as I passed I gave my million megawatt smile and smoothly asked, "Ya'll having fun?"  I was rewarded by three patronizing grins and a perfunctory, in unison, "yes sir."  

And away I sped.

• The majority of people familiar with Jon Gries know him simply as Uncle Rico from "Napoleon Dynamite". This will be the role in which Jon will be remembered. This role needs no description or explanation. It is a performance so amazing...I will invent a word to describe it: Superawesomefantabulous.
• Jon also appeared in two episodes of "Seinfeld" as Rusty. You may recall him picking up George's toupee off the sidewalk and wearing it. There is a better chance that you remember Rusty stealing Kramer's rickshaw. There hasn't been a better performance from a man pulling a rickshaw in recorded human history.
• Jon also went toe to toe with some heavyweights in "Get Shorty". His character, Ronnie, was lucky enough to have been called a "f***ball" by Dennis Farina. There really isn't more of an honor an actor could have bestowed upon them.
• Jon's performance in one episode of the second season of "24" was...well...I don't remember it. I'm sure it was decent enough though.
• When your character is fortunate enough to be killed in an episode of "Lost", you have reached a level of pop culture awareness only attainable by others such as...such as...some other actors that have had brief appearances on "Lost". Jon played Ben's dad and died a horrible death due to poison gas.
• Lazlo Hollyfeld. "Real Genius". That is all.

Whenever I see this, all I can think of is, "Dang! You got shocks, pegs... lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps?"

Uma das comédias pentelhas mais legais dos últimos tempos. É tudo muito indiemente previsível e semvergonha que a gente amaaa. O tal Napoleon é só um freak de colégio americano que todo mundo tira sarro, até sua família, e etc., seria um retorno dos nerds mais contemporâneo... hoehoeohe... A família dele é muito tosca, o animal de estimação da avó é super, a paquera do cara é a menininha de Corina, uma babá perfeita (a Tina Majorino que eu estava morrendo de saudade), os figurinos são super(gamei na boteenha do mongó), a trilha e o climinha de sessão da tarde é saudosa do bem. Grandes destaques pra cara de gaiata da namorada virtual de seu irmão mais velho, pra pinta de michezãodo de seu tio picareta, e para o seu amigo latino seksi(kkkkk... eu acho... rum!). É produção da MTV que te deixa assim idiota mas que te faz digno... kikiki...

The Foot Fist Way

This movie is kind of hard to pigeon hole, here is the official synopsis of the film from Paramount.

THE FOOT FIST WAY, an uproarious, full-contact comedy featuring one of this year's least likely heroes, is the first project from Will Ferrell and Adam McKay's Gary Sanchez Productions. Included in Ain't It Cool News' Top 10 Films of 2007, THE FOOT FIST WAY became a sensation at the 2006 Sundance Film Festival, as audiences fell in love with the seriously self-deluded Tae Kwon Do instructor Fred Simmons, who talks a big, macho game, but falls to pieces when his wife betrays him.

Self-control, courtesy, perseverance, integrity and an indomitable spirit - those are the basic tenets preached by the proud but stern Master instructor Simmons at the ConcordTae Kwon Do Studio. There "the way of the foot and the fist," a.k.a. the definition of the featured Korean martial art, turns boys into black belts and suburbanites into great warriors.

That is, until Simmons' seemingly perfect life starts collapsing when he discovers his wife having an affair on him. Twice. A chance to resurrect his life by battling his hero - the 8-time undefeated champ and star of the "Seven Rings of Pain" trilogy, Chuck "The Truck" Wallace - gives Simmons' life purpose as he winds up on a wild, comic journey that will take him from egomaniacal bluster all the way to becoming the stand-up man of his delusional dreams.

If you love Napoleon Dynamite, Super Bad, the Office, and Talladega Nights then this movie will rock your world. If you found even one of them stupid, rude, crude, or offensive then the Foot Fist Way is not for you. The movie is shockingly realistic funny, but it tends to be that uncomfortable humor that you feel bad about laughing at.

The movie did have its moments of greatness, giving us the kind of one liners that the target audience of 15 to early 20's will repeat over and over again becoming part of American culture for years to come. I loved when Master instructor Simmons says “I did that and my shirt is still tucked in” during a fight sequence.

If I were Ben Best (Chuck “The Truck” Wallace in the movie) I would be looking over my shoulder for Chuck Norris. Ben does a funny, but dangerous characterature of Norris and from what I have seen on the internet Norris tends to get his revenge.

All in all I give Foot Fist Way 1 and 1/2 stars out of 4. I did laugh out loud several times; also I was horrified several times as well. The movie produced a wide range of emotional responses from me as well as the audience in the theater around so they must have been doing something right.

Peace out and Julio is my sensei…. MajorXero

title sequence // napoleon dynamite

The title sequence to 2004's Napoleon Dynamite is one of my favorites. This opening montage features names of the production company, cast, and crew incorporated into everyday food items and many of Napoleon's personal effects cut to "We Are Gonna Be Friends" by the White Stripes. Its simplicity and creativity introduces director Jared Hess' quirky style. From using ketchup on a plate of tater-tots to write "Fox Searchlight Pictures" to aluminum ninja-stars to custom-made chapstick labels to Napoleon's drawings on notebook paper, Hess found a way to create an interesting opening sequence that was obviously done with little to no budget - exactly why it's so appropriate for this film.

The thing I really like about this sequence in particular is because it was made mostly without any type of traditional graphics tools, computer programs, or anything like that. With a $400,000 production budget, it's likely that Hess and his team were very budget-conscious; this title sequence is a great example of how they used their limitations to their advantage. This opening montage breaks viewers into the films unique tone and style and gives the audience a small preview for what they will see for the next two hours. To me, it's strongest asset is its originality through commonplace every day items.

Considering it's relevance to the rest of the film and its budgetary concerns, I don't know that I could think of any way to improve on it. It's amateur-like production value adds to the every-man tone of the movie, and I think that it's a perfect way to introduce Napoleon Dynamite.

IMDB

(2007, Taika Cohen)

Or, Napoleon Dynamite, 10 Years Later.

Intentionally silly love story about two lonely, ubergeek New Zealanders, complete with animal costumes. If you can make it through the first 30 minutes - at times funny, painful and eyeroll-inducing - it actually gets a bit sweet toward the end. In the meantime, though, it'll thoroughly ensconce viewers in capital Q-quirk as only a Sundance feature can.

Sigh, this is why Todd Solondz is needed: to skewer these type of sappy nerd-love stories right through their quirky hearts.

Note: Features Jemaine Clement, one-half of the Flight of the Conchords. I've yet to see the show, but I believe this was a good introduction into his sense of humor.

2.5/5.0

Today while I was at work it rained a lot.  Actually quite a lot.  The creek overflowed its 4 foot banks and rose up 25 feet inside my fence (probably an additional 2 feet in water height).

Everything loose in the bottom half of the yard was washed over to the west side of the fence.  If it were not for the fence, I would have had a lot less to clean up here, but S. would have lost his favorite boots that he wears during all 4 seasons ala Napoleon Dynamite.

Grass layed down

The soccer net caught some gunk for me!  Thanks, soccer net!  GOAL!!!!!!!!

The flood waters rose right on up over my lowest two "raised" beds.  Next year I'll add an additonal 12 inches to the 6 inch height I built this year.  That means I get to order and move dirt again!  Yee-HAW!

Small broccoli bent over, covered with debris.

Iceberg lettuce full of mud.

Corn lying down on the job.

Carrot patch almost ruined.

Okay, I still hate it but I did manage to find this video from Sesame Street that featured baseball cards. Can someone tell me what year/brand that Ron Darling baseball card is from?

It’s been several years since the independent film Napoleon Dynamite came out, and it will be many more before people cease to imitate the its main character and recite its lines.  The movie has become a cult-classic, embodying frequent random one- liners and casting a distinctive body of socially-awkward characters.  While the movie is highly underrated in some rights, it is highly overrated in others.  But it is highly unforgettable.

The unique movie has bred unoriginal followers.  Whether or not chickens have large talons or girls only want boyfriends who have great skills are things people constantly hear from tireless Napoleon imitators.   Going to a Halloween party, one has to expect to see a few guys in red curls, black moon boots, and white “Vote for Pedro” ringers.

Most of the Napoleon actors will probably only be remembered for their roles in the movie but there is much more to know about each of them.  A query under the search “Napoleon Dynamite” on Spock brings up all the people involved in the making of the movie.  Spock allows its users to share their knowledge of Napoleon Dynamite without irritating their friends.  They can add photos, relationships, and links, on actors’ search results.  Additionally, they can add quotes to the actors’ search results and save themselves the inevitable, horrible impression.  Also, Spock is the only people search application on which people can actually vote for Pedro.

So check out Jon Heder or Efren Ramirez’s page and see if they as dynamite as their characters.

Gosh!