Jake (to the other kids): If you're naked and you do something bad and the police catch you, they will give you a ticket and stick it to your pee-pee.

Bald Man: No they won't, Jake.

Jake: Okay.  I was just guessin'.

I decided to also start Jake in Kindergarten.  No, he's not officially signed up.  Samantha and I do school via an on-line school.  Just like the other public schools, a child has to be 5 before he's officially born in order to be able to start Kindergarten in the next decade, or something like that.  And, since Jake won't be 5 for about 8 weeks, I can't officially start him.  However, I have some Kindergarten workbooks.  He's already started reading, loves math, and sits along with Samantha and me during the school day anyway.  I really can't imagine waiting another year to start school with him.

So, if you ask me in person, I will try to just say, "Yes, he's in kindergarten."  Just imagine that I've explained all the rest to you in person and I'll try not to feel like I'm lying since he's not officially in school and such.  And that will be really hard for me.

So, there you go.  Wish me luck.  He's excited.  I'm excited.  Samantha's pretending not to be, but I'm hoping it's just a good act. ;)

Goodbye, sticky, humid, hot, mosquito-laden summer days......

The attic is noticeably different today.  Still not usable, but I can at least feel that I accomplished a bit with the long weekend.

And, I was able to share our prom picture with the 3 year old.  He was intrigued.

"Daddy looks funny.  The hair on Daddy's head looks funny."

"Yes.  Daddy used to have hair."

"Were you at a birthday party?" (The sum total of backdrop for the photos were two balloon bouquets.)

"No."

(Looking at my dress) "Were you a princess?"

"Yes.  Yes I was."

What's she gonna do with all that junk...all that junk....ahem...oh....wait....

Jackie's restless.  You know Jackie, yeah?  My BFF.  My M of H.  The Butthead to my Beavis.  The Scooby to my Shaggy.  The Pinky to my The Brain.  The Honeycutt to my Hawkeye.  The Oates to my Hall.  The Milli to my Vanilli.  The Dory to my Marlin.  The (insert 90210 reference here.  She watched it.  I didn't.)  The Amos to my Andy (that's for all you Baby Boomers reading here. ;) )  The Ren to my Stimpy.  The Jekyll to my Hyde.  The Miley Cyrus to my Hannah Montanna.  Oh wait....we're not actually the same person.....so scratch that.

Anyway, she's restless and needs something to do?  Or something.  She's my age (so very young), and established.  She's not restless because she has so much more than she knows what to do with.  She's one of the hardest working people I know, honestly.  And don't tell her that she's bored and just needs to go out and volunteer or something.  She's one of those social services kinda people who is actually trying to do something to make a difference in people's lives (not like the rest of you out there who said that in your interview just to get that scholarship or whatnot.).  But she needs a bit of a change.  Excitement.  Something.

Any suggestions for her?  College football has started, and so she's got the whole, "Go Illini!!!" thing going on part of the time.  But that still leaves a lot of energy left for exciting stuff.

What would you do if you were restless and just needed to do something?

Most of the time, he is just fine, all he needs is a little nagging to get by (like any man).  But he's had a pulled muscle for two weeks now, and the extra work and lack of his assistance is really tiring.  And he is anti-doctor, which I completely understand from his experiences as a kid, but the last time I got him to the doctor's office, it was only because he was practically unconcious and unable to object.  But I wish he would let me take him in and have this current injury looked at.

So I was full of self-pity when I saw this book review on the Today Show .  If you follow that link, you can view the video clip from the show too.

I don't think caregiving is that different if its your child with Angelman Syndrome or your parent.  You still need to learn to manage the physical and emotional demands that are put on you.

Best wishes to all the caregivers out there.

Neither does having a glass of milk before bed.  Or cutting out caffeine.  Or working out (though that's helped a little).  Or that whole relax your body thing (I don't have the focus for that even if it did).  Or listening to podcasts (that'll at least keep me entertained for the two hours before sleep comes).  Or standing on your head counting backwards from 553.  I haven't actually tried that, but I'm guessing it won't, either.

Counting backwards from 10 did a couple of times, but there was also the anesthesia bit that probably helped.  Hmmm....there's an idea. ;)

Oh wait.  That's me.  Heh.

Okay, so I'm enjoying a bit of my Summer Break.  Yeah, as a homeschooling mom, I was excited as my daughter to count down to the end of the school year.  I know, some homeschooling families continue throughout the entire year, learning and teaching and making themselves better members of society.  That's fantastic for them.  Me?  I need a break to look forward to.  (For which to look forward, I know.).  And summer break came just in time!!!  Not that we can't continue to learn over the summer.  But we?  We don't have to.  We can be ignorant and let our brains turn completely to mush over the next few months.  It's our right.  We have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of boogers for brains.  I read it somewhere.

Actually, summer break for me has been an opportunity to read like mad for myself.  No one else.  To learn nothing in particular.  Just to read to my heart's desire.  And I am.  And I love it.

And the kids?  Booger brains.  Fed by stuff like Chowder and Sponge Bob.  And they love it, too.

I'll be back to writing something worth reading soon.  Until then, send me your favorite authors.  Nothing sci-fi or fantasy, though.  And that's a strict rule.  Otherwise you will experience pain.  Lots and lots of pain.  (Name it, anyone?)

When I was making my way through college as an unmarried young mother, I had to ask for help and humbly receive it so I could accomplish my goals. The people that helped me never expected anything in return. They did it out of love. So, in return, I helped others who were in need. The "pay it forward" concept.

Many times we feel that we need to do things by ourselves for it to "count". Pride or shame prevents us from asking for help from those around us. I have found that people are really very willing to help you out if you need a hand. Most people want you to succeed. I like to believe those that don't are on the fringe. Reach out to those around you. Build your support networks. You can do it through your work, school, church, neighbors - even online communities. There are awesome support networks online. Check out other mom blogs, take a gander at the links I have in my blogroll. You are not alone in the universe.

Maya Angelou said it best in her poem "Alone"

Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

So here goes my first tag…

What was I doing ten years ago?

Planning my wedding, river rafting the rapids of the Colorado River and, recovering from a NASTY Brown Recluse spider bite;

Five things on my to-do list for today (well, tomorrow):

Work on metatags for cafepress store - redoing everything to have a better focus (other than Mom really, really needs some creative outlet and is drawing anything her two-year-old ASKS her to draw - HA! - advice??? Let me know - check it out at http://www.cafepress.com/sugarsprouts;

Playdate for my daughter;

Run 5 miles (OUCH! And buy new running shoes SOON!);

Find something for dinner that balances the food groups somewhat while still enticing a two-year-old to eat;

Figure out how to transfer my wordpress blog (http://sugarsprouts.wordpress.com) to a self-host without losing everything (SCARY!).

Snacks I enjoy:

Triscuits with melted cheese; popcorn, Blue Moon beer that is ice cold with an orange wedge, strawberries, bananas and grapes, salt and vinegar chips, and Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

After I give all my family and friends enough to never have to worry about anything, ever, I would: - take care of some good left wing causes (environment, women’s rights, etc.);
- help out some causes in countries in Africa where I have lived; and,
- ensure that no kill animal shelters like "Best Friends" in Kanab, Utah have enough to operate
without ever having to turn an animal away.

THEN, my hubby, my daughter, me and all our critters would have a special electric hybrid souped up RV designed and follow the Nascar (yes, I said it – the Nascar Circuit). READY BOYS! There’s a little bit of redneck in this here tree hugger!! At least that’s what my husband always says.

Places I have lived:

Ohio, Pennsylvania, Utah, Kenya, Tanzania, Madagascar, Arizona, New Mexico, and Washington DC.

Tag:
Lori at http://acowboyswife.com/

Katja at http://skimbaco.blogspot.com/

Erin at http://queenofspainblog.com/

Lisa at http://www.iowaavenue.com

Astacia at http://lifeontherunblog.com/

http://www.mayasmom.com/profile/bmxmom

http://www.mayasmom.com/profile/curlymama

http://www.mayasmom.com/profile/monkeysmama

________________________ Art imitates life, and life imitates art.

“If you don’t laugh at life, it sneaks up and bites you in the ass!”

Me: I started a blog.

Relative: Are you serious?

Me: Yeah. It's kind of...

Relative: Why?

Me: Why, what?

Relative: Why did you start a blog? Are you out to make money or something?

Me: Uh, no. But that would be nice if I did...

Relative: So what's the point then?

Me: It's fun- I love writing, it helps me with my stress.

Relative: STRESS? Why do YOU have stress? You're a stay-at-home mom, you don't DO anything.

Me: Yeah, okay. Just go over there and stand in that corner.

Relative: Haha.

Me: I'm serious. Go stand in that corner and think about what you just said.

Relative: What did I just say?

Me: Forget it. Forget I mentioned anything to you at all. (muttering) stupid...

Relative: So?

Me: So what?

Relative: Are you going to let me read it?

Me: Read what?

Relative: Your blog. Are you going to let me read your blog?

Me: Only if you want to.

Relative: I want to.

Relative reads entire blog, wipes eyes from laughing, looks me in the eyes and says: It's okay.

There were more words said but since I don't DO outrageous profanity, I'll stop here.

The reason why I posted this was to let people know that I do this for the pure love and enjoyment of writing. If you don't believe this is the only reason why this blog is up here, and that I'm really out to make a few nickels, please buy my pamphlet, on sale here for $40.98.

The latest issue of I AM Modern Magazine for Moms is here, now printed in Virginia on environmentally-responsible, FSC-Certified paper. This packed edition is filled with very useful information, from Yoga Studio Reviews to the latest fashion finds.

I Am Modern Magazine for Moms is a Northern Virginia Women's and Mom's Lifestyle Magazine, part of the I Am Modern Social Media Network of print products, social meetups, website, forums, blogs, and other distributed content.  This magazine can be found at many local, family-friendly retailers currently around Northern Virginia and Loudoun County, VA, or can be mailed via subscription.

I Am Modern Magazine offers the following benefits to Women and Moms; our readers, members and advertisers:

• World’s only social media magazine providing a platform to readers in print and online
• Reaches 25,000 moms by print in Northern VA and Metro Washington DC area, and tens of thousands more by Internet, providing a perfectly targeted market for advertisers
• Highly anticipated and attended monthly meetups, create a perfect environment for "Word of Mouth" marketing and networking
• Following the latest industry trend to maximize the return on investment, it is freely distributed in women and mom-oriented upscale business locations
• Sized to fit in a purse, it is a publication that women can’t put down
• Locally owned, operated and supported, from Ashburn, VA

I have also been thinking alot about what my friends Cecily and Sue have written about Mommy Blogging. I think that they both addressed some interesting things about Mommy Blogging and parenthood. In becoming a Mom it can be one of the most life changing experiences a woman can have. All you worked to become can change the minute the small baby is born, especially for us who waited till after our mid 30's to have a family. Much of this is breathtakingly wonderful but it can be bone achingly isolating. So many friends without children can fall by the wayside with the baby's arrival. Mothering can be so isolating. Beyond the classic stay at home Mom vs working Moms, there is the work from home Mom's and the part time working Mom's who fit in neither of the above camps. All these categories are set up for judgments and divide women. I have seen these divisions in action and I think they are all a load of crap not to mention all the parenting styles and the arguments of my style is best. Suddenly Mommy blogging came on the scene. Mommy blogging can go a long way in keeping the isolation at bay. You can find women with similar parenting styles, with kids who have similar issues, who are as trapped in the house by weather, or trying to juggle work and kids like you are. Suddenly the world is smaller and a stressed parent is not alone. Now Mommy Blogging is judged. Are we supposed to forget that this life changing event that has taken over our lives never happened as soon as we log onto the internet for the sake of our children's privacy or to keep poop off the internet??

I choose to keep my kids identities private but think that it is ok if someone chooses plaster their blog with their kids names and photos. It is a personal choice that I doesn't need to be judged. Blogs are a small part of someone and the choice is theirs. I rarely see things about kids in a blog I would consider exploitive. C'mon people leave the Moms alone and let it be. Kiddie porn is exploitive not Mommy blogging.

About a month ago I attended the BlogHer Business Conference in NYC (check out my work post on the 360PR Days blog). At the conference, I had the chance to meet a handful of women bloggers like Miriam Kamin who writes/contributes to about 7 blogs - wow! - including Woulda Coulda Shoulda , and Vera Sweeny who writes the very popular celebrity blog I'm Not Obsessed .

While at the conference, I heard that a bunch of the women were actually at The Today Show studio that morning for interviews - they were working on a segment about moms who blog. So, now that a month has passed, the segment aired just this morning and guess whose head happened to get about three seconds of camera time? Yours truly!

Check out the segment here or click on the picture below. Soon after the 2 minute mark, you'll see me typing away on a laptop during one of the BlogHer sessions! (Side Rant: I can't stand Kathy Lee Gifford - you'll see what I mean after watching the clip!)

I wouldn't exactly call this my "15 minutes of fame." That debate-ably special moment will come sometime this summer when, thanks to my 360PR co-workers, I'll be the subject of a new makeover show on The Learning Channel (TLC). More on that later...

Eudomonia!

1. happiness; well-being.
2. Aristotelianism. happiness as the result of an active life governed by reason.
Also, eu·dae·mo·ni·a.

Shown above: The naughty one :-) (Photography by me)

December 31, 2007

Good morning! For me? No, it wasn't. Let me tell you why. . .

My oldest son likes to get up about three hours before everyone else in the morning, and I have tried to police this the best that I can, with putting him back in bed, etc. Sometimes I am overtired and sleep through him sneaking out at four in the morning. He claims this is because "I am just having my 'alone time' mommy". Hmm, wonder where he got that phrase from. I already have installed a child lock on my fridge, a lock at the top of my pantry and a lock on several of the doors in my home.

At four years old, my mother recalls me waking up earlier then her sometimes and quietly watching t.v, or eating some dry cereal, however with Vincent, this can not be the case.

For this morning when I woke up with the other boys at eight o'clock, I found chocolate milk spilled ALL over the carpet. Lego spilled EVERYWHERE, playdoh set opened and all over the floor, the table, the chairs, etc. The topper on the cake, was that I had three chocolate milks in the fridge, and two were missing. One is STILL MISSING. Considering he showed me where he had hidden (with an open lid) the other chocolate milk, you can tell that I am not happy about the fact that there is another one somewhere in the home. I can't find it anywhere.

In the midst of dealing with the Vincent "situation", we had a Christian "situation". Christian is my 2.5 year old son, who came prancing into the kitchen with poop running down his legs, and awww yes, all over the living room carpet.

Anyone want to adopt some "boys"?

Anyway, I had to take a "mommy time-out" to vent, thanks for listening.

December 30, 2007 "An Unhappy New Years"

I had a pretty good day yesterday, or "was" having a good day until. . .

I went out shopping with mom and I bought some beautiful Victorian style blue & white fabric to make into curtains for my living room windows. I figured, why not splurge a little? BIG MISTAKE.

The boys and I pulled up in our driveway and the first thing that I noticed was a white piece of paper sticking out of my mailbox. This piece of paper informed me that as of April 1, 2008 my rent will be going up from $800 to $950!! It just went up by $50 on November 1, 07. As someone already living in what's considered below poverty level, I will not be celebrating to a Happy New Years, but rather scrambling to think of ways we will survive this economy boom. Happy New Years to me!

December 29, 2007

Yesterday was one of those days that I would have liked to walk away quietly from my groupie of boys and pretend that I was not their mother.

We had a little trip to Walmart to pick up some milk, eggs, and other necessities. As always I gave all three of the boys, including my youngest the big pep talk. "What are the rules?" I ask. One boy pipes up "Stay close to mommy", another "Don't touch Thomas The Train", which wasn't really a rule, but I went with it. So the rules were to stay with mommy at all times and not to touch anything unless you ask.

The experience started off fairly well, the boys were staying close to me, and being relatively well behaved. Then it happened. I went to test out some air freshener, and my oldest, Vincent, decided it would be wise to try it out too. Only he ended up spraying it in some guy's face! Ouch! The guy was really angry and just kept on twisting his face in agony in the middle of the aisle, scaring my son, and refusing to accept an apology. For a minute I thought that he was going to take my name and number and try to sue me! Well we backed away slowly from that situation, me apologizing profusely the whole time.

Later on, as the shopping trip came to an end, I promised the boys that if they were good I would take them to the joint McDonalds and grab a quick burger or something for them. With the exception of the air freshener incident, they were pretty good little boys. So, as I neared the till to pay, Vincent told me he was going to go sit down, and I watched as he did. One minute he's sitting nicely on the chair, the next minute I hear a piercing alarm go off throughout the ENTIRE store and I knew immediately that one of my boys was to blame. Aww yes, Vincent standing red faced and very nervous looking was smack dab in the center of an emergency exit door, that go figure, was only supposed to be used in the case of an emergency. Yup, well I think the look on his face and the fear in his eyes was enough punishment, other than a stern talking to about never touching things without asking mommy, and never opening doors or windows without mommy, and always staying close to mommy.

Did we learn a lesson? We sure did. . . buy a leash!

We always imagined that the lion's share of the culling was undertaken by Nigel: older, meaner and male, we always congratulated him on the skanky rat corpses or disemboweled mice that we found on the doorstep.
Samy we characterized as rather dim: she grew into a big fat bagpuss and often missed her aim when attempting inter-furniture leaps: she deferred to Nigel in all things cat.

Last month I was taking the boys up north on a trip to the groovy Temple of Isis but my pre-war Volvo broke down on the way out of the city. I got a tow home and found Samy weak and disheveled in the garden. I interpreted the course of events as divine cat wisdom from Isis: I needed to be at home tending to my own little cat goddess not cavorting with priestesses in the solar-powered hot tub in Geyserville.
Samy was very old and obviously dying so we loved her up with little dishes of human-grade tuna, made her soft pillow beds in all her favorite spots, dispensed hot-water bottles at nighttime and gave her lots of loving strokes and chats. We felt bad because Nigel, the frighteningly skinny and senile yowler had been getting all the old-cat love for years: we'd always thought that we'd have time to give the less demanding Samy her quota of special attention after he popped off.
On the sad night of the blue full moon I found her dead on the basement stairs and ever since we have been experiencing a rodent surge. Accordingly we have had to revise history: it seems that Nigel wasn't necessarily the rat warrior after all and recent events have shown that any aptitude he may have possessed has gone now.

The other night Superhusband had the first sighting: he came up from his studio in the basement and surprised a rat eating Nigel's senior chow from a bowl on the kitchen floor. The rat deftly disappeared into a crack between a built-in cupboard and the wall. We were on alert: I cleaned maniacally and advocated for an immediate trip to the shelter to find a youthful huntress to carry on Samy's superlative work. Typically we haven't gotten that together yet and last night when the SuperH got back late he found our dog on high alert looking under the desk in our bedroom. I was already asleep in bed, and woke to find SuperH swigging red wine and talking to himself in a desperate voice,
"Fuck! How do I kill it? Akira! Good dog - you kill it!"
Bravely SuperH yanked a box out from under the desk and like a waking nightmare I saw a scaly rattail slithering out from the neatly folded clothes! I was momentarily frozen but when SuperH returned with a murderous expression, the broom and more red wine I shot out of bed and into the kitchen and kept my feet off the floor by balancing uncomfortably between the island chopping block and the stove.
Then I heard this incredible primal roaring from the bedroom: SuperH had cornered the now terrified rat and was stabbing at it with the big straw broom. Somehow he managed to kill it without drawing blood and then equally heroically shoved the limp body into a black plastic bag and took it out to the bin.
It was good that the rat was dead but SuperH felt bad about how freaked out it had been , could it have been an escaped pet he wondered? It was cute and brown he said, not like those knarly black Norwegian roof rats that had terrorized us back in the Cougar Rock House.
We calmed ourselves with fervent plans to add a young cat to the family, Nigel having been fully exposed as a senile pacifist [he slept on a sofa as the bedroom massacre was going down.] Then I went back to bed and was soon joined by rat-slayer Superhusband. Our kids were off the premises and it was saturday night - this was a clear opportunity to play like the childless and make a lot of noise with the lights on. However, the recent death in the closet put a damper on my carnal enthusiasm and my participation was noted in the early stages as lacking luster so I retreated to my side of the bed to sulk and fall asleep huffing.
Life is so unfair I thought, Samy did all that good rat-catching, never got the praise and now she's dead. I felt life was unfair to the poor rat as well: dying terrified in a corner, broomed to death, it wasn't his fault that he was born vermin.

I wasn't feeling bathed in justice either: it wasn't my fault that my libido was adversely affected by the violence. I smoked myself into a late circular argument which meandered too far for transcription but resolved when I reconciled myself to both the existence of the rat and it's miserable end.
For the umpteenth time since 2003 I reminded myself to get a grip, I wasn't bringing up a family in Sadr City and thus should count my blessings or rat tails....