But like Keyshia Cole, I changed my mind.

Something's on my mind and you know what 'Pac said. 

Word.

Has this ever happened to you?

You're chilling with someone, preferably the geek of your choice. Things are cool. Then all of a sudden their phone rings and they disappear? And you're left wondering. Hmm...

Is it me? 'Cause if it's just me then that's almost** okay. Maybe I'm just the Eeyore in this Hundred Acre Woods. But my mind wondering or wandering all over the place is not a good thing. I can think of the worst, worst-case-scenarios. I'll think of the most painful thing possible and work my way back.

Honestly, I think I'm clinically paranoid.

This is a problem. I need my own Personal Jesus. 

*Or maybe it's now the fact that the damn text on this post is not utilizing the ability to "text wrap" and I'm essentially writing one long ass sentence

** Clearly it means I have some issues I need to work out.

Babble babble bitch bitch
Rebel rebel party party
Sex sex sex and don't forget the "violence"
Blah blah blah got your lovey-dovey sad-and-lonely

Stand up and admit.
Do we need it? No.
Do we want it? Yeah.
This is the new shit,
Stand up and admit.

A minap olvastam végig Marilyn Manson önéletrajzát, és megdöbbentett, hogy az emberek mennyire félreértik őt. Mindenki nácinak, rasszistának, gyűlölködőnek hiszi, miközben a cél, amiért a zenei pályát választotta nem más volt, mint hogy dalaival segítsen a támogatásra szoruló embereknek.

Később tervezem, hogy bővebb cikket is írok a témáról, de most lássuk azokat a dolgokat, amik interneten terjednek Marilyn Mansonról, de SEMMI IGAZSÁGALAPJUK SINCSEN :

1. Manson kivetette három bordáját, hogy le tudja szopni önmagát
2. Egy koncerten előhozták két kivetetett bordáját és azt használták dobverőként
3. Manson megölte a feleségét, kivette belőle a gyereket, aminek a Lucifer Satan Damian (LSD) nevet adta
4. Manson volt Paul a „Wonder years”ben
5. Manson volt Winnie Cooper a „Wonder years”ben
6. Manson volt a kisgyerek a Mr. Belvederben
7. Marilyn Manson valójában Charles Manson és Marilyn Monroe fia
8. Manson egy kannibálcsoport tagja és valójában fekete, de kifehéritette a bőrét
9. Mansonnak mellimplantja van
10. Manson valójában nő, aki azért öltözik férfinak, hogy más nőkkel szexelhessen
11. Manson levágatta az egyik lábujját, hogy közvetlenül a csont ereibe lőhesse a heroint
12. Manson szexelt disznóval
13. Manson kiszivatta a pigmenteket az egyik szeméből, hogy fekete-fehéren lásson
14. Manson kivetette a barátnője szemgolyóját, hogy oda is beverhesse a farkát
15. Mansont kiskorában megerőszakolta a nagyapja, mikor beárulta valakinek, az öreg kitépte az egyik szemgolyóját
16. Zim Zum csak azért lépett a bandába, hogy lefekhessen Mansonnal
17. Daisy és Manson szeretők voltak, de Manson elhagyta őt Twiggyért
18. Manson a szinpadon egy kólásüveget rántott ki a seggéből
19. Manson szexelt egy macskával
20. Manson lenyelt egy macskát egészben
21. Manson indulni akart az elnökválasztáson, csak elnézett valami határidőt
22. Manson levágta egy aranyhörcsög lábait

Ezek és hasonlóan idióta pletykák mind a mai napig keringenek Mansonról, én csak ennyit tudok tanácsolni : Ne legyetek ostobák és ne döljetek be mindennek! Marilyn Manson nem az az ember, akinek a tömeg hiszi őt.

Jessica Brooklyn Vicious

Tracks (also individual song downloads):
1 - Intro
2 - This Is The New Shit
3 - mOBSCENE
4 - Doll-Dagga Buzz-Buzz Ziggety-Z
5 - Use Your Fist And Not Your Mouth
6 - The Golden Age Of Grotesque
7 - (s)AINT
8 - Ka-Boom Ka-Boom
9 - Slutgarden
10 - Spade
11 - Para-Noir
12 - The Bright Young Things
13 - Better Of Two Evils
14 - Vodevil
15 - Obsequy (The Death Of Art)

Full Album: 1 file

Tracks (also individual song downloads):
1 - Inauguration Of The Mechanical Christ
2 - The Reflecting God
3 - Great Big White World
4 - Get Your Gunn
5 - Sweet Dreamshell Intro
6 - Rock Is Dead
7 - The Dope Show
8 - Lunchbox
9 - Don't Like The Drugs (But The Drugs Like Me)
10 - Antichrist Superstar
11 - The Beautiful People
12 - Irresponsible Hate Anthem
13 - The Last Day On Earth
14 - Astonishing Panorama Of The Endtimes

Full Album: 1 file

Tracks (also individual song downloads):
1 - mOBSCENE (The Overnight Mix)
2 - Personal Jesus (Rude Photo Motor Remix)
3 - This Is The New Shit (Goldfrapp Remix)
4 - Tainted Love (Re-Tainted Interpretation)
5 - Suicide Is Painless (M. A. S. H. Theme)
6 - Mind Of A Lunatic (The Geto Boys Reworked)
7 - mOBSCENE (Rammstein Remix)
8 - Paranoiac (Para Noir Remixed)
9 - Newshitincentive (Obiter Dictum Mix)
10 - Mobscenereplet (Mea Culpa Mix)
11 - The La La Song
12 - The Death Song (With Bible Speech)

Full Album: 1 file

Tracks (also individual song downloads):
1 - Red (In My) Head
2 - Dune Buggy
3 - Insect Pins
4 - Learning To Swim
5 - Negative Three
6 - Meat For A Queen
7 - White Knuckles
8 - Scaredy Cat
9 - Thingmaker
10 - Thrift

Full Album: 1 file

Tracks (also individual song downloads):
1 - The Hands Of Small Children
2 - Diary Of A Dope Fiend
3 - Shitty Chicken Gang Bang
4 - Kiddie Grinder (Remix)
5 - Sympathy For The Parents
6 - Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)
7 - Everlasting Cocksucker (Remix)
8 - Fuck Frankie
9 - I Put A Spell On You
10 - May Cause Discoloration Of The Urine Or Feces
11 - Scabs, Guns And Peanut Butter
12 - Dance Of The Dope Hats (Remix)
13 - White Trash (Remixed By Tony F. Wiggins)
14 - Dancing With The One-Legged...
15 - Rock 'N' Roll Nigger
16 - (Bonus Track)

Full Album: 1 file

Alice Cooper (vero nome Vincent Furnier, classe 1948) rimane senza ombra di dubbio uno dei protagonisti più eclettici e discussi della scena rock di tutti i tempi; celebri il suo trucco facciale e i concerti dove le liriche horror si fondono a situazioni teatrali dando vita a spettacoli di rara bellezza e atmosfera, la medesima formula adottata e riproposta in seguito (in alcuni casi scopiazzata) da molte band horror rock che proprio a Cooper dovranno il loro taglio 'spettacolare' (vedi Marylin Manson, suo grande fan da sempre). Tra le bands debitrici: Rob Zombie, W.A.S.P., Lizzy Borden, King Diamond, Twisted Sister e Motley Crue e altri.
Una brillante carriera iniziata a metà degli anni '60 e maturata grazie all'aiuto di Frank Zappa, tra polemiche, diverbi, accuse da parte delle associazioni più puritane e oltranziste degli USA, urtate (e non poco) dalla componente "grand guignolesca” a base di forche, serpenti, ghigliottine, maschere dei suoi show, lo consacrerà definitivamente come icona/simbolo del Rock più eclettico e spettacolare.
Cooper è certamente un artista complicato dalle mille sfaccettature e risvolti (Salvador Dalì lo ritrarrà addirittura in una sua celebre opera d'arte olografica...). Fervente seguace della religione cristiana e sostenitore di Bush, negli anni settanta appoggerà la guerra del Vietnam distinguendosi da molti altri artisti dell'epoca che assumeranno posizione nettamente opposta...

La discografia come potrete immaginare è sterminata e copre un arco di tempo lunghissimo, per questa vi rimando alla documentazione ufficiale abbondante ed esaustiva.

Di seguito invece una selezione dei suoi lavori in studio più importanti:

1971 - Love It to Death
1971 - Killer
1972 - School's Out
1973 - Billion Dollar Babies
1975 - Welcome to My Nightmare
1989 - Trash
1991 - Hey Stoopid

Curiosità:

Esistono varie leggende sull'origine del suo nome d'arte; Qualcuno sostiene fosse uscito da una tavola Ouija e appartenente ad una strega del 17esimo secolo... Stronzate, Vincent dichiarò in un'intervista che lo scelse soltanto perché... 'suonava bene'!

Full Album: 1 file

Tracks (also individual song downloads):
1 - mOBSCENE (Album Version)
2 - Tainted Love (Re-Tainted Interpretation)
3 - mOBSCENE (Sauerkraut Remix)
4 - Paranoiac

Full Album: 1 file

Tracks (also individual song downloads):
1 - Astonishing Panorama Of The Endtimes
2 - Long Hard Road Out Of Hell (feat. Sneaker Pimps)
3 - I Don't Like The Drugs (But The Drugs Like Me) (Danny Saber Remix)
4 - Eye (feat. Smashing Pumpkins)
5 - The Beautiful People (Acoustic Version)
6 - Apple Of Sodom
7 - Long Hard Road Out Of Hell (Instrumental)
8 - Highway To Hell (ACDC Cover)
9 - I Don't Like The Drugs (But The Drugs Like Me) (Matrix Soundtrack)
10 - Golden Years (David Bowie Cover)
11 - The Suck For Your Solution
12 - Iron Man (Black Sabbath Cover)
13 - The Omen (feat. DMX)
14 - Dreams Of Amputation
15 - Blender
16 - Kill House

Full Album: 1 file

Tracks (also individual song downloads):
1 - Godeatgod
2 - The Love Song
3 - The Fight Song
4 - Disposable Teens
5 - Target Audience (Narcissus Narcosis)
6 - President Dead
7 - In The Shadow Of The Valley Of Death
8 - Cruci-Fiction In Space
9 - A Place In The Dirt
10 - The Nobodies
11 - The Death Song
12 - Lamb Of God
13 - Born Again
14 - Burning Flag
15 - Coma Black Eden Eye - The Apple Of Discord
16 - Valentine's Day
17 - The Fall Of Adam
18 - King Kill 33 Degrees
19 - Count To Six And Die (The Vacuum Of Infinite Space Encompassing)

Full Album: 1 file

Tracks (also individual song downloads):
1 - Heart-Shaped Glasses (When The Heart Guides The Hand) (Radio Edit)
2 - Heart-Shaped Glasses (When The Heart Guides The Hand) (Album Version)

Full Album: 1 file

Tracks (also individual song downloads):
1 - Get Your Gunn (Album Version)
2 - Misery Machine (Album Version)
3 - Mother Inferior Got Her Gunn
4 - Revelation #9

Full Album: 1 file

Tracks (also individual song downloads):
1 - If I Was Your Vampire
2 - Putting Holes In Happiness
3 - Red Carpet Grave
4 - They Said That Hell's Not Hot
5 - Just A Car Crash Away
6 - Heart-Shaped Glasses (When The Heart Guides The Hand)
7 - Evidence
8 - Are You The Rabbit
9 - Mutilation Is The Most Sincere Form Of Flattery
10 - You And Me And The Devil Makes 3
11 - Eat Me, Drink Me

Full Album: 1 file

Tracks (also individual song downloads):
1 - Irresponsible Hate Anthem
2 - The Beautiful People
3 - Dried Up, Tied And Dead To The World
4 - Tourniquet
5 - Little Horn
6 - Cryptorchid
7 - Deformography
8 - Wormboy
9 - Mister Superstar
10 - Angel With The Scabbed Wings
11 - Kinderfeld
12 - Antichrist Superstar
13 - 1996
14 - Minute Of Decay
15 - The Reflecting God
16 - Man That You Fear
17 - Track 99

Full Album: 1 file

 a mini me or some kind of vampire out for blood feeding on the apocalypse and its metiphores.  No Im am more of a mad man using my apartment as my labratory in trying to raise the undead spirits dreams and other conjurations of the inhumanitys of Satanism.   I never drink I only smoke but potions elixiers are usually my holy water to put bluntly I am sure that I will never be a party animal or a millionaire but I have decided to make offerings to the devil of fame and what ever kinds of incense ,  shi sha or amulets of deciet I can get at Hot Topic or Spencers.  The path of the unholy is the right arm of the satanist and the left is the deception of his or her being so Mote it Be in this celebrity apocalypse.

Number 575

Pic by Narrelle
Well, another weekend all gone and dusted. How can 72 hours disappear faster than a 72 hrs in the week? Who invented work? and working for money? Who invented money as well?
I don't want to hear it was the Romans, that's to generic, i want to know the individuals name and next of kin, living.
Who decided that Monday was the day we start work? Who decided it should be at a certain time? Why (since we have to work) is wages only once a week/month? Why is it not every day or every hour? Why do we normally work 5 and only rest 2? Should it not be the other way around? Who was the person who decided this crap?
I want names, dear readers and preferably before 9.00am Monday morning. Clock in ... clock off, wipe on ... wipe off.
Now i remember why i like Dr Hook, soothes the unrest.

Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show's sardonic, country-flavored pop/rock made them one of the most fondly remembered acts of AM pop radio's heyday in the '70s. Although the band had a reputation as a mouthpiece for humorist Shel Silverstein, who supplied several of their biggest hits (including "The Cover of Rolling Stone"), they didn't rely exclusively on his material by any means. And, during their peak years, they were just as famed for their crazed stage antics, which ranged from surreal banter to impersonating their own opening acts.

The band was formed in Union City, NJ, in 1968, when a young singer/songwriter named Dennis Locorriere teamed up with Alabama-born country-rocker Ray Sawyer. Sawyer's distinctive stage presence stemmed from his enormous cowboy hat and an eye patch that hid injuries from a serious car accident in 1967. Sharing the spotlight on guitar and lead vocals, the duo teamed up with Sawyer's bandmates from a group called the Chocolate Papers: George Cummings (lead and steel guitars), Billy Francis (keyboards), and Popeye Phillips (drums). Phillips soon moved home to Alabama and was replaced by local drummer John "Jay" David. Sawyer's eye patch inspired the nickname Dr. Hook, after the Captain Hook character in Peter Pan; with the rest of the band christened the Medicine Show (a possible drug reference), they began playing some of the roughest bars in the Union City area, concentrating mostly on country music out of sheer necessity.

Anxious to find a more hospitable environment, the band recorded some demos, and in early 1970 their manager played the tapes for Ron Haffkine, who was working as musical director for the film Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me? Haffkine had been looking for bands to perform the songs written for the soundtrack by Shel Silverstein, an ex-folkie, Playboy cartoonist, and children's author who'd penned Johnny Cash's hit "A Boy Named Sue." He took an instant liking to Locorriere's voice, and became the group's manager and producer, signing them to record "Last Morning" for the film soundtrack and also landing a deal with CBS.

Silverstein wrote all the songs for Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show's self-titled debut album, which was released in 1971. The single "Sylvia's Mother," a subtle parody of teen-heartbreak weepers, flopped on first release, but with some more promotional muscle became the band's first million-seller and hit the Top Five in the summer of 1972 (even if many listeners took it as sincere). That year, the band added a full-time bassist in Jance Garfat, as well as another lead guitarist, Rik Elswit. Their second album, Sloppy Seconds, was again written by Silverstein, and featured more risqué material, perhaps in response to the success of "Sylvia's Mother." "The Cover of Rolling Stone," written specifically to get the band featured on same, became another Top Ten smash in early 1973, and Rolling Stone soon granted the band's wish. However, following it up proved difficult. Drummer David left the group in 1973, to be replaced by John Wolters; the title of their next album, Belly Up, was unfortunately prophetic, and the band filed for bankruptcy in 1974 (partly as a way to get out of their contract with CBS).

Now known simply as Dr. Hook, they signed with Capitol in 1975, debuting with Bankrupt, which began to feature more group originals. A cover of Sam Cooke's "Only Sixteen" returned them to the Top Ten in 1976 and revitalized their career; although Cummings left the band that year, further hits followed over the next few years in "A Little Bit More," "Sharing the Night Together," "When You're in Love With a Woman," and "Sexy Eyes." 1979's Pleasure & Pain became their first gold album, cementing the band's transition into disco-tinged balladeers. However, Elswit had to leave the band for a year after developing cancer; he was replaced by Bob "Willard" Henke, who remained in the lineup after Elswit's return. Ray Sawyer, however, did not; dissatisfied with their newly commercial direction, he departed in 1980, robbing Dr. Hook of, well, Dr. Hook. With Rod Smarr replacing Henke, the remainder of the band switched from Capitol to Casablanca, with very little success; after a few bill-paying tours, they finally gave up the ghost in 1985. Locorriere became a session and touring vocalist, backing Randy Travis in 1989, and in 1996 recorded the solo LP Running With Scissors. Sawyer still tours under the Dr. Hook name, though he licenses it from Locorriere. Drummer Wolters died of cancer in 1997. ~ [Steve Huey, All Music Guide]

For Johnny Cash see Number 705 & Number 624
For Randy Travis see Number 837

What does Rolling Stone think about Dr Hook?
With smart-aleck hits and stage antics that included dressing up as their own opening acts, Dr. Hook and the Medecine Show gladly assumed the role of the clown princes of Seventies pop. Their off-center, sardonic approach to music making kept Hook and his cronies on the charts for over ten years, netting them thirty-five gold and platinum records.

Lyrics to the song

Previous Song 574 ..... Next Song 576

Tags:Dr Hook, 1978, Rock, Johnny Cash, Randy Travis, Buck Owens,YouTube, Music Video, Rolling Stone Magazine, Crowbarred, New Zealand, Crowbarred Unleashed, The Definitive 1000 Songs Of All Time, Mellow Mix Volume 1, Mellow Mix Volume 2, Mellow Mix Volume 3, Mellow Mix Volume 4, Mellow Mix Volume 5, Mellow Mix Volume 6, Mellow Mix Volume 7, Mellow Mix Volume 9, Mellow Mix Volume 10, Mellow Mix Volume 11, Mellow Mix Volume 12

Seotaji is back!

I totally have respect for the man. Seotaji is one of the very few true and original artists in Korea. But a big but, his tight parachute plastic (and shiny) black pants with white Adidas sneakers need to be stripped off of him and thrown in the trash. That’s an eyesore but not nearly as bad as the clear plastic pants worn by JYP.

Besides his less-than-questionable fashion sense, the 36 year old rock star just released his eagerly anticipated 8^th album, “SEOTAIJI 8TH ATOMOS PART MOA” on July 29^th 2008 after 4.5 years of rumors and speculation.

Since its release, all 100 thousand copies of the new album have been sold out. An additional 50 thousand copies will be re-printed.

In the meantime, Seotaji taped the MBC “Comeback Special” on July 31^st that will air on MBC on August 15^th. And on August 15^th, Seotaji will make a live comeback at the “Eerie Taiji People Festival (ETPFEST)” in Jamsil Stadium. Heavy metal star Marilyn Manson, American alternative rock group Death Cab for Cutie and Japanese rock band Dragon Ash will also perform at the festival.

Tickets are 132,000 won.

Artista: The Exies
Disco: Head For The Door
Lançamento: 30/11/2004
Selo: Virgin/EMI
Procedência: nacional
Estado: lacrado

Terceiro disco da banda californiana de rock alternativo. Produzido por Nick Raskulinecz (Foo Fighters, Marilyn Manson, Velvet Revolver, Rush etc).

Faixas:
1. "Slow Drain" – 3:35
2. "Splinter" – 3:39
3. "Ugly" – 3:18
4. "What You Deserve" – 3:08
5. "Hey You" – 3:58 (a faixa está presente no Guitar Hero)
6. "Baptize Me" – 3:38
7. "F.S.O.S." – 2:39
8. "My Opinion" – 3:20
9. "Dear Enemy" – 3:55
10. "Tired of You" – 3:59
11. "Normal" – 3:35
12. "Don't Push the River" – 2:54

Ouça: http://www.myspace.com/theexies

Preço: R$8 + frete

Todos os CDs são originais.
Entre em contato através do email: passadiante[at]gmail[dot]com

Last week, we examined the Waiter. But this week, we meet Gothic Teenagers (Nonus Conformistus).

1. Description

Not to be confused with their gay cousin, the Emo Kid, the Gothic Teenager can be easily recognized in America for their unique fashion style of wearing anything black, to display their view of the world (i.e. dark and evil, etc.). [illustrated in Fig 1.1]

The Gothic Teenagers are also known to have black hair (with optional colored streaks), facial piercings, over-sized combat boots, black lipstick, black mascara on their eyelashes, and black and red eyeliner, to disguise their inner pain. [example in Fig 1.2]

Other common traits of the Gothic Teenager includes wearing pale white make-up, t-shirts with industrial bands on them, sleeves that aren't attached to anything, studded bracelets, fish-net stockings, and goth collars. [pictured below in Fig 1.3]

Perhaps the most important attributes of the Gothic Teenager, however, include being happy people who are unbelievably attractive and/or fit. [see Fig 1.4]

2. Habitat

When Gothic Teenagers aren't in their obviously broken homes, they can be found at suburban strip mall food courts, Denny's restaurants late at night, smoking cigarettes in high school bathrooms, all Spencer Gifts stores, and all Hot Topic stores. [pictured in Fig 2.1]

3. Hobbies

Among the more popular hobbies of The Gothic Teenager include can usually be found worshiping the devil, reading poetry, being anti-establishment by smoking Marlboros, having AIM screennames like FireHellPainBabe666. [see Fig 3.1 for example of an typical goth AIM conversation]

The Gothic Teenager is also known for being heavily-exploited products of a bizarrely expressive youth sub-culture, slitting their wrists, secretly crying inside, fitting in with other non-conformists, and loving Tim Burton movies. [illustrated in Fig 3.2]

Other common hobbies of Gothic Teenagers include doing drugs, not having friends, and coming from dysfunctional families. [see Fig 3.3]

4. How to Approach Him

Now that you’ve met the Gothic Teenager, feel free to say “Hi” when you see one. But, be warned: the Gothic Teenager is accustomed to being ridiculed by most of society. So when approaching one, be sure to look like The Cure, and/or mention how awesome Edgar Allan Poe is.

5. Fun Facts

It takes four Gothic Teenagers to change a light bulb: one to cry about it, one to write a poem about it, one to reject such a conformist act, and one to get his older brother to do it.

STUMBLE THIS

So, someone has a crush on us. That’s deadly, so it is. Right back at ya, Rosie. Though I’m not sure what Twenty Major would make of our little love-in.

Still and all, where would we be without our girlie crushes? Here are some of mine:

1. Dawn Porter

Truth be told, I never had much time for the Balls Of Steel-era Dawn Porter, but my appreciation for the Porter really took flight when she got her own BBC 3 seriesof documentaries last year. Unapologetically candid and real, the documentaries explored lesbianism, being single, childbirth, nudity and the much maligned Size Zero debate. Dawn is, quite frankly, a lethal combination of doe-eyed sexiness and quirky, unassuming sass. On top of all else, she rides a folding bike and is an Aquarian, therefore rendering her pretty much perfect in my eyes. Arguably one of the most natural and charming TV presenters out there, Dawn is the sort of girl that would make truly drinking company. Good old Dawn would be the saucy, bat-yer-lashes yin to my violently smutty, X-rated yang. I’d be going on about my gagging-for-it cuntflaps, curved cocks, gay porn, double penetration and the like; she’d blush, peer coyly over the rim of her Pimms & Lemonade and in her cute, posh Veruca Salt voice, say something cheeky like, ‘Actually, they’re called fanny-flaps, Leigh’. You can tell I’ve had a think about this, right?

2. Diablo Cody

You can’t not have a girl-crush on someone whose name is Diablo Cody. When the opening credits started for Juno – hands down, the best film of last year - I couldn’t wait to get out of the cinema and Google the heck out of this person on the strength of her moniker (her real name, Brooke Busey, makes her sound like a prissy, bitchy prom queen in a John Hughes film). Imagine my delight, surprise (and, oh Jesus, cold-blooded envy) when she turned out to be a foxy babe in the LA-rockabilly vein. I love those kind of broads, all jet-black fringes and tatty leopard print coats. Not only is Diablo a sort of glamorous, old-Hollywood throwback; her writing kicks serious ass. Say what you will about its Degrassi Junior High teen speak, but Juno has as whip-smart, perfectly-pitched and touchingly funny a script as you’ll find anywhere. Still, as much as I love Diablo, I do have to take points off for her watery Oscar acceptance speech. That’s the other thing: I really was downright jealous of her Oscar dress, and indeed of her Oscar win. She didn’t even have to fuck sing with Glen Hansard to get it.

3. Immodesty Blaize

Dita Von Teese me hoop...Immodesty – sturdily created in the original burlesque tradition - is a proper ridebag. Much like me, this lass – born Kelly Fletcher - has plenty of junk in the trunk. (Hell, what am I talking about? I have junk in the backseat, the bonnet, the glove compartment. Fuck, even my air fresheners have junk on ‘em. Anyway). On top of being endlessly sexy, Immodesty has a devilish glint in her eye that suggests that she too might be a rather fun girl to down cocktails with. What’s more, in addition to becoming the world’s most smoulderingly sexy burlesque dancer, she’s also written two novels. Is there no end to the wagon’s talents, I ask you?

4. Julie Burchill

The one thing I adore about Julie Burchill is the fact that she could – and readily would, without much provocation - eat a young one like me for breakfast. Seriously, The Burchill would probably pick a fight with her own shadow – you have to dig girls like that. It’s not so much Burchill’s colourful and strong opinions that do it for me – girls who rail against boys and Daily Mail readers are a dime a dozen, after all – but it’s the way she undercuts her vitriol with this puny, girly voice. It’s incredible, really. Float like a Minnie Mouse, sting like a motherfucking bee. Still, imagine getting on the right side of The Burchill though...how incredible and gratifying an experience would that be? One of my favourite Burchill rants was aimed at housewives who bang about making ‘a contribution’ while watching Jeremy Kyle all day: “it’s just tidying up after yourself!” she once squeaked. Brilliant. Yet for all those perfectly-pitched pot-shots, Julie came a little unstuck when she became particularly vocal while defending chavs, and celebrated her own chav existence. Yet surely she knows that marrying boys called Cosmo and writing for the Guardian does not a chav make?

5. Peaches

Good old Merril Niskel. I love the fact that Peaches used to be a schoolteacher and coined the phrase ‘hermaphrodite envy'...what’s not to like? Also, can you believe this girl is 41? Hot feckin' dang! There’s something about her caustic , tough-as-boots sexuality that really cranks my proverbial chain. I should imagine that going down on Peaches would probably be not dissimilar to sticking your tongue on a car battery. And I do mean that in the best way possible.

6. Floria Sigismondi

You can keep your Zadie Smiths and your Cate Blanchetts...Floria Sigismondi is, bar none, the most talented person in possession of a fanny out there. You may know some of her music videos: she has directed ‘Untitled 1 (Vaka)’ for Sigur Ros, ‘Obstacle 1’ for Interpol and, famously, ’The Beautiful People’ for Marilyn Manson. In fact, she's largely responsible for much of the latter's imagery.

Her elaborate books of photography are like crack-fuelled space shuttle trips for your eyes. The daughter of Italian opera singers, this Canadian is responsible for some of the most incredible goth/Victoriana imagery out there. Steely, original and uncompromising, Floria describes her images as “entropic underworlds inhabited by tortured souls and omnipotent beings.” Oof! On top of that, Floria is a bit of an imposing babe herself. Some girls have all the luck.

I think I’m beginning to see a pattern to my girl crushes – they are all multi-talented, alpha-females who can (probably) drink like fish, curse like sailors and might go off like a pocket of firecrackers in the scratcher. Being from Canada and having a sexy fake name: optional.

Over to you peeps...got any girl crushes you might like to share?