I know, everyone is growing up, but there must be something that we are able to achieve at a time, whether it was now or in the future. Sometimes, I do think of being a successful man in my career or in my relationship. Sometimes, I do have big dreams. So much for my personal fuss.

Well, nothing special happened to me these days. I only blog to remind me how empty I am.

To be continued...

But one thing's for sure: it hurts, devastatingly and cruelly. Crippling - that's what it is. It's a moment in time when everything violently shatters, the pieces falling as they please. Some fall back in place and others seemingly fly away, with plenty falling anywhere inbetween. And in that moment when all the shards are more or less scattered, the pain is in the void between all the pieces.

Only the best of actors could hope to hide something that stretches and encompasses so much. Very few of us could ever hope to be anywhere near that level, and in that aftermath when the last piece has fallen among the other scattered shards, nothing - nothing could possibly hurt worse than being unnoticed. It's extremely difficult to not be accutely aware of such a sudden concentration of anguish, or to not show an awareness of it.

Yet seemingly, no one notices. Then it's just a dark, lonesome place. And that's what makes it the worst; no one notices, or bothers to do more than notice and just observes - doing nothing. That feeling of abondonment when in the aftermath of a complete shatter - that is what cripples and lets out the anguished cry [even if nobody hears].

That is where true pain lies, in the culmination of all the pains in the sequence from shatter to scatter to watching it all come crashing down. Whether or not the pieces can be put back together as a whole I cannot answer - I'm still missing shards. Hopefully the cracks will seal themselves with the last pieces too.

It’s the story of Fatima’s affliction and how there was an immediate turn around in her life as she received a touch from God during an Outreach Program with Pastor Chris.

What started as an itchy rash on a part of her forehead resulted in an extensive sore on her face after she applied some local leaves received from a spiritualist. As days went by, strength and life gradually ebbed out of Fatima. She experienced severe fatigue and eventually became paralyzed on her right side. In his quest to find a solution to her health challenge which had depleted their finances, her husband took her to various hospitals and spiritual homes. This yielded no positive result and the situation worsened as she could no longer see with her left eye which continually oozed blood and pus.

It was in this near - lifeless state that Fatima was brought by her husband to SUPER SUNDAY, an outreach program with Pastor Chris. Her husband, out of frustration, carried her to the podium where Pastor Chris was preaching and as he approached, he shouted profusely, “this woman is dying, this woman is dying”, and dropped her before the man of God, Pastor Chris.

After instructing her husband to be mindful of his words, Pastor Chris told him to lay his hands on his wife and declare that she will live and not die. The man obeyed and as he said those words of faith, a miracle happened. Right before our eyes Fatima leaped from the ground in a burst of supernatural strength. As she jumped and shouted, giving praise to God, the congregation was ecstatic – it was a sight to behold!

Why not watch this clip and experience the moments...

Halleluyah! Fatima’s testimony is a clear indication that anything is possible to whosoever believes and that an immediate transformation can take place in the presence of God.

As you prepare to attend A Night of Bliss with Pastor Chris at the Excel Center in London on the 27^th of June 2008, stay connected to this Blog which will equip you to get the best out of this program.

Do you have a testimony or you are preparing to receive one? Post your views and let your voice be heard.

---------------------------The Night of Bliss Blog Team

I have met a number of people missing limbs, either by birth, accident or disease. These people were able to function, they adapted and they disproved any notion that they were disabled. When I was younger, a young woman in a wheelchair taught me Afrikaans. She had been involved in an accident when she was just 16 and lost the use of both of her legs. She could drive, shop, reach the top shelves when I couldn't. Best of all, boy could she make you laugh by showing off her newly learnt tricks in the wheelchair, she could spin it so fast that I would fall over dizzy while she just sat there giggling at me walking drunkenly around.

I have met a number of blind people that can see better than most, they seem to have the innate ability to know where things are in a room. While I walk in to things continually they bypass them. Sure they knock themselves sometimes but they get on with it, they feel the bruise and show it off, making a joke of it. The one that comes to mind is the one who's dog I fell in love with, a golden Labrador, he would know it was me from metres away. So often I'd walk into things and he'd rip me off saying he can do it better, that I need to practice harder if I want to beat him in the bruise competition.

Growing up, my best friend in the world had a birth defect, she was born with the cord wrapped around her neck and due to the lack of oxygen reaching her brain she lost muscle function, she also had speech and learning disabilities. She could climb tress just like me, sure it took her longer but the party we had when we both got to the top didn't end for many a moment. We would both got ice-cream on our chins while wolfing down our favourite at that time, Neopolitan with nuts sprinkled on top, there were many such times. The thing is, she first learnt to walk at the age of 6, her speech never fully recovered but by the age of 10 she could hold a full conversation. I heard recently that she has qualified with a masters degree, is married and... she's just had a baby!

There are also those that are really sick, those with CFIDS, Lupus, IIH, etc. These sicknesses or diseases can be disabling, they can knock you for a six and then some. I know a number of people dealing with one or more of the above, some are really close friends. They don't let it get them down, sure they have good days and bad days, but they fight for normality. Low and behold if you visit and you head towards the kettle, even though their hands may shake or their muscles hurt they make the best cup of coffee in the world, they make me laugh till I cry, till I am rolling on the floor gripping my stomach in agony. They hold their heads up high and look you in the eye as if to say "go on I dare you, dare you to tell me I am disabled".

Out of all these people that I have known, society might give them the disabled parking badge but I don't see them as disabled, why should I if they don't see themselves to be?

I have met many people that I do see as disabled, they are able to walk, see, hear, talk and function fully. These people suffer from the worst disability of all, what I call a serious attitude disability, SAD for short.

Don't laugh, I am serious!

No, I am not talking about the ones that stick up for their rights or for what they know is right. I am not talking about those that have up days or down days. I am talking about those that are on a permanent negative, those who point holes in everything just for the sake of tearing something to shreds, those who, when they walk into the room, bring with them a known "downward" spiral.

Their disability? The loss of hope, their smiles never reach their eyes, their craving is failure for everyone else but them, they crave doom and destruction.

The worst disability in the world is the loss of hope, you may not be able to walk, use your hands properly, might not be able to see, to hear, to talk, unable to think straight or work machinery but it all comes down to your attitude. Your attitude in life determines your disability.

A disability doesn't make a person who they are, your attitude does...

Are you disabled?

]]> http://thyperspective.wordpress.com/?p=29 Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:20:10 +0000 Suda http://thyperspective.wordpress.com/?p=29
"Hey, easy man!! There is a turn ahead. Got it?"
Sorta thing this arrow notify everyone who passes by. He is standing there from years in rain, in nights, in fall, in summer, in winter, every time. We don't give a damn because its lifeless, helpful, but lifeless!!!
Well, its matter of deep research, that, even if it was alive, someone would be actually bothered?
Some questions are better to be unanswered!!!

Sitting there lifeless

No motion

There isn't a spark

I still can't save you

-07/26/2007

Zero Anon

This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

दूर से पत्थर दिखता होगा
बेजान दिल मेरा लगता होगा
छूकर देखो,
दीवारें आज भी साँस लेती हैं
न कहती हैं न सुनती हैं
टूटती-गिरती हैं...

जब भी गुज़रता हूँ
साये मुझको पुकारते हैं
इस पुराने शहर में
कुछ पुरानी इमारतें हैं
कुछ खण्डहर हैं
कुछ अजनबी रास्ते हैं

कितने ख़ाबों के बादल बरसे
कितनी ख़ुशबू की बेले महकीं
हर बार,
नशेमन जलकर खाक हुआ
चिन्गारियाँ,
दिलों में जब-जब दहकीं...

जो भीगकर मिटती हैं
कुछ ऐसी भी इबारतें हैं
इस पुराने शहर में
कुछ पुरानी इमारतें हैं
कुछ खण्डहर हैं
कुछ अजनबी रास्ते हैं

ॐ में तुम हो ॐ हर कण तुम में
ॐ मृदा धातु जल वायु गगन में

ॐ सत्य है ॐ ही चिंतन मनन है
ॐ आत्मा है ॐ ही प्रभु शरण है
ॐ विष्णु है ॐ ही त्रिकाल महादेव है
ॐ दृष्टि है ॐ ही सुर और रव है

ॐ विद्यमान है प्राण है हर जीव में
ॐ ही सजीव में ॐ ही निर्जीव में

ॐ संगीत है ॐ ही श्रेष्ठ मित्र है
ॐ असत्य पर विजय का शस्त्र है
ॐ ब्रह्माण्ड है ॐ उत्पत्ति सूत्र है
ॐ मोक्ष है ॐ ही मुक्ति स्रोत है

ॐ चहुँ ओर ज्ञान का प्रकाश है
ॐ कष्टकाल अंधकार का विनाश है

I also realise that i have not watch movies at the cinema for some time. I'll go watch sweeney tood soon i think.

सोहबत किसी दोस्त की रास न आयी हमें
अजनबी से दोस्तों में रहे तेरे जाने के बाद

जब भी पहलू में किसी के यार को देखा हमने
ख़ाहिश तेरी करते रहे तेरे जाने के बाद

दिल का हर टुकड़ा हर एक साँस पे रोता है
हम उसके आँसू पोंछा किये  तेरे जाने के बाद

तुम मिल जाओ अगर ज़ीस्त मिल जाये हमें
जिस्म अपना बचाते रहे तेरे जाने के बाद

उज्र हमको नहीं था तुमसे बात करने को
फिर भी नज़्म लिखते रहे तेरे जाने के बाद

तुमसे जो मरासिम है हमारा वो इश्क़ ही है
हम जी से इसे निभाते रहे तेरे जाने के बाद

फ़िराक़ ने साँसों में इक गाँठ लगा दी है सनम
जतन ढेर छुटाने को किये तेरे जाने के बाद

दर्द और तन्हाई के निश्तर चुभते हैं
हम मान्निद दीवाने हुए तेरे जाने के बाद

तमाशा गरचे अपनी मौत का किसने देखा है
नज़'अ में साँस भरते रहे तेरे जाने के बाद