Today I'm going to give you the rundown on Everton to Newcastle.

EVERTON

JOLEON LESCOTT - Once again, I had a choice of players to choose from Everton, but in the end it was down to Arteta and Lescott, and I went with the latter. He's earned himself an England call-up this season, and he's scored 8 Premiership goals (and he doesn't take penalties!!). He's versatile enough to play anywhere across the back four, and he is a player I'd love Arsenal to sign. Hats off to Joleon.

FULHAM

JIMMY BULLARD - Cheeky chappie Bullard has been on absolutely great form since his comeback from his leg-break, and one of the reasons why Fulham hit such good form during the games when they really needed to hit form. Roy Hodgson needs to spend big in the summer, because they will not survive another season in the Premiership with their current squad.

LIVERPOOL

FERNANDO TORRES - A few raised eyebrows when Rafa spent big on the Spanish youngster, but he's proved to be one of the best signings of the summer. He's got pace, power, skill, lovely flowing locks, beautiful thighs, fantastic fingers, and a very caring personality. He just needs to cut the diving out of his game, and stop embarrassing Senderos.

MANCHESTER CITY

MARTIN PETROV - Excellent player. One of the quickest players in the Premiership, and he can cross a ball for fun. Fell off a little bit towards the end of the season, but so did the rest of the Man City squad. I'd love to see him at Arsenal if he was 8 years younger or so.

MANCHESTER UNITED

DARREN FLETCHER - Hard to choose a player really, didn't really have any outstanding players, so I'm going to plump for the world-class Fletcher. The Scottish Pele, who adds so much to the Man United team when he plays, left the rest of the Premiership in his wake this season. Sent shivers down opponents spine's last season with his scintillating performances, which has lead to a £45m bid from Barcelona. Could involve a swap deal with Eto'o and Messi.

MIDDLESBROUGH

GARETH SOUTHGATE - Middlesbrough finished the season in 13th with probably the thinnest squad in the Premiership, just a few points behind Tottenham who by all accounts were meant to finish 3rd or 4th this season. I've no doubt Gareth Southgate will go on to be one of the top managers in England.

NEWCASTLE

THE FANS - The fans did a great job in ensuring the club get rid of the most over-rated, moaniest, ugliest, fattest people to ever grace the world of football, Sam "if I was foreign I'd be England manager" Allardyce. Couldn't instill the long ball with a squad of players where a quarter of them probably wanted to play football, and probably found out a little too late that Viduka wasn't really a clone of Kevin Davies, another overly fat man.

Please feel free to add comments, I'll be back tomorrow with the "P-Z" of the Premiership.

After a couple of days of thinking about it, I've compiled my personal list of players who I think we could be likely to sign in the summer - in no particular order:

Yoan Gouffran: Pacy and tricky little winger / forward who currently plays for Caen could be the creative player Wenger is speaking of. Rumoured to have turned down a move to PSG in the January transfer window and many believe that he resisted and is waiting for Arsenal to come in for him. Fits the bill perfectly - young, quick and versatile, and relatively unknown so he wouldn't cost too much money (£3m - £5m).

Joleon Lescott: To be totally honest, I can’t see this really happening, but I have no idea who Wenger is going to sign. I wouldn’t be surprised if Wenger stuck with the four centre backs we currently have, but he has come out and admitted that we lacked height at the back this season so hopefully that is a big enough hint that we’re going to buy a big, powerful centre half (£10m).

Chris Kirkland: Probably the only realistic goalkeeper we can expect to be challenging for the position of number 1. However, I’m not too convinced Wenger is going to sign a 1^st choice keeper, as he does seem to have a lot of faith in Almunia and Fabianski. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a 3^rd choice keeper come in – someone cheap and old, Mart Poom like (FREE).

I’d like us to sign Ben Arfa, Benzema, Sebastian Frey, Lucio, Kaka, etc but I think they’re all way off the mark regarding “typical Wenger signings”, and for that reason I don’t believe we’ll sign any of them. As for the Gattuso rumour, don’t make me laugh, this is the most ridiculous rumour of the transfer mill so far.

Who should we sign, and who (realistically) will we sign?

Peter Crouch: Seriously, have you seen his robot dance? Tell me that wouldn’t be awkward.

Vikash Dhorasoo: Because he could shave directly beforehand and have a five o’clock shadow by the time he’s done with the foreplay, among many, many other reasons. If you like watching a musk ox mating then go check out the Animal Planet.

Mauro Camoranesi: Because the “bun on top” ‘do makes him look like a geisha with a little bit too much facial hair. There’s no need to have to guess gender mid showing. No need whatsoever.

Sepp Blatter: This one is rather self explanatory, and we have the evidence to back it up.

Wayne Rooney: I’m pretty sure “dudes who look like homeless lumberjacks” isn’t an adult genre. The other part of this is a little request of Wayne that he never partake in one from here on out - grandmas or not - because he seems a likely candidate to bestow himself upon us.

Joleon Lescott: You, sir, are just simply hideous.

Tommaso Ghirardi: He is the relatively young owner of Parma, and if you don’t know who he is, well, you’re in for a treat. Chances are he is to blame for world hunger.

Arjen Robben: One, the receding-by-the-minute-hairline doesn’t flatter him whatsoever. But mostly, there’s no need to see him tear a ligament when he’s going for a Cruijff turn mid-throw. Arjen just needs to stick with non-contact activities.

Momo Sissoko: It’d be like watching a rose bush get trimmed with a chainsaw, if you get my drift.

Oliver Kahn: Too much yelling, too many fist pumps and way, way too much Olli Kahn.

Did the dye run out? Golden patch in the middle, oh man...

4. Joleon Lescott (Everton)

Star trek in the house! (oops my bad)

4. William Gallas (Arsenal)

Shave that grass patch evenly?

2. Jermain Defoe (Spurs)

Whats he thinking? my goodness

1. Bacary Sagna (Arsenal)

Our champion.. MAJOR attention seeker

 All week Gameof2halves will be focusing on Fabio Capello's first England squad selection, culminating in my predictions and recommendations at the end of the week.

Following on from yesterday's look at an average Premiership weekend, today sees the birth of the All-English challenge. With increasing calls for limits on overseas players in matchday squads (unworkable) I thought I would take it a step further and consider how some teams in the Premiership would fare having to field a completely English XI. Liverpool and Arsenal need not apply.

 Below are the 5 teams I would consider to be able to field the strongest sides, in no particular order:

Manchester Utd England XI:                                Foster

                                              Neville           Brown           Ferdinand       Simpson

                                              Eagles            Hargreaves     Carrick          Scholes

                                                            Campbell (Hull)       Rooney

Perhaps a little lightweight in places but still a pretty formidable side packed with experience.

 Aston Villa England XI:                                      Carson

                                            Cahill             Knight               Davies           Barry

                                                                     Gardner        Reo-Coker

                                             Young                                                    Agbonglahor

                                                                   Harewood            Moore

Does not severely reduce the quality of their usual team, although they might miss Martin Laursen.

West Ham England XI:                                           Green

                                                         Davenport      Ferdinand      Upson

                                         Dyer                                                                           Etherington

                                                             Parker              Noble          Bowyer

                                                                         Ashton             Cole

Pretty much full strength Hammers.

Everton England XI:                                                  Ruddy

                                                      Hibbert       Stubbs          Lescott      Baines

                                                                       Neville       Jagielka      Osman

                                                                  Johnson        Anichebe       Vaughan

I have no idea what Ruddy's like as a goalkeeper but didn't he save a penalty once? Also, Anichebe is technically Nigerian, but played for England Schoolboys. Could slot Dan Gosling in somewhere instead.

Tottenham England XI:                                              Robinson

                                             Huddlestone        Dawson                      King           Gardner

                                                 Lennon              Jenas                       O'Hara             Routledge

                                                                             Defoe                       Bent

Hit and miss, but looks pretty solid.

 So these are the sides that I would imagine would challenge for an All-English title. What strikes me is how a number of Premiership sides would struggle to even field an English XI, and I would imagine there are a number of Championship sides that would be better equiped for this challenge than the likes of Arsenal. But what do you think? Vote below for which of those sides you think would come out on top. Or do you disagree with my selections? Have I left players out? Or do you think you could build another club side that could challenge? A Newcastle midfield of Milner, Butt, Barton, Smith maybe? Or a patchwork Chelsea side with Joe Cole upfront? Stoke? Vote and leave comments below...

I'm currently ranked 12, 395th. Which sounds awful until you consider that there are 1,570,386 total players from around the world. Which puts me in the 99th percentile.

I'm also actually in the lead in my randomly-selected public league:

I'm currently ranked 410th of all Americans participating, and would have been higher had I not dumped my long time holding Man City defender Richard Dunne in favor of Joleon Lescott of Everton last week after Boxing Day. Dunne had nine points in their scoreless draw against Liverpool, while Lescott had no points in Everton's sorry second half house-of-cards-like folding against Arsenal.

Still, doing surprisingly well all told. I'll keep you posted on my progress, as I'm sure you're all at the edge of your seats on this one.

With Rooney out, I've gone for Crouch and Owen. After Hargreeves yet again pulling out with injury, it has allowed Barry to keep his well earned place with Gerrard in the centre and of course Joe Cole on the left. I've decided to leave Beckham out and instead start with Wright-Phillips, to try and take early advantage with all of his pace and energy.
The defensive line was hard with so many injuries. I've ended up with Brown, Richards, Lescott and Ashley Cole, though with all respect I wouldn't have the greatest amount of confidence for this back line. So you'd think with this pretty much unproven defence that I'd choose some experienced shot stopper between the sticks. Nope. I've gone with Carson, I feel he deserves a start, and at his age some major experience at this level could do him a world of good!

Match prediction: England 3 - 0 Austria, England 1 - 0 Croatia