If you’ve been reading our blog regularly (and we hope you are!), then you know that surrogacy is a topic that we’ve been writing about a lot lately.

Between Baby Mama, the Dancing With the Stars finalist who is using a surrogate to have her son, and certain other celebrities who feel that pregnancy would limit their dating options, surrogacy has been making national headlines!

We think that many of you may want to learn more about how surrogacy affects everyday women, and now you can ask us.

We are having our first surrogacy teleseminar on Thursday, July 31 at 1:30 p.m. CST. We will feature four panelists: ARR’s Mary Ellen McLaughlin; Attorney Nidhi Desai; Elaine Brown, one of our surrogates; and Jan Elman Stout, a psychologist. And I’ll be the moderator.

The seminar will last approximately an hour, and there will be time for a question and answer session. To make your free reservation, click here. Call 312.666.6662 if you have any questions, or visit the teleseminar Web site.

Being a surrogate was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. But it put me in the position of having to make some difficult decisions – like facing the possibility of becoming pregnant with multiples and facing the issue of selective reduction.

Last year, the Washington Post, in an article titled “Too Much to Carry,” explained why selective reduction is used and how high-risk multiple pregnancies can be difficult for some women. It also told what the couples went through in choosing selective reduction, a decision that does not come lightly.

I’m not getting into the abortion debate. That is not what this is about. It is about the surrogate knowing her medical risks when carrying multiples. Remember: This is not just about the parents-to-be, it’s also about the surrogate and her health, her family and the lives she is carrying.

In these types of in vitro situations, multiples easily occur. Surrogates need to know what their bodies can handle before agreeing to carry someone else’s child – or children.

I told my intended parents that I was willing to carry twins but would do selective reduction if triplets resulted from the egg transplantation. Before making this decision, I consulted with my doctor to understand my physical limitations and risks. I was told I was too small to carry three babies to term. It would be too risky for the babies and me. (If it were up to me, I would have carried multiples.) Luckily, I got pregnant with twins and did not have to face this decision (phew!).

Discussing selective reduction is not easy. It must be discussed carefully and candidly and specified legally (read: put it in a contract) before anyone enters into any surrogacy relationship. The couple I helped was very understanding of my choice to selectively reduce if the situation called for it.

I know that selective reduction is not for everyone. It wasn’t something I would have considered, but in my case, the medical risks were too great.

How do others feel about selective reduction? If you’ve been a surrogate or an intended parent, how did you handle this issue?

There’s a reason to go with a reputable agency that specializes in matching egg donors and gestational surrogates to those who are unable to bear children through traditional means. Services go beyond vetting candidates to make sure they’re on the up and up and emotionally equipped for the job. We also bring in experts to guide intended parents and donors and surrogates through the complex legal and psychological issues.

The importance of this role has been brought home through news coverage in recent months of heartbreaking situations that have arisen when couples have followed a do-it-yourself path.

Back in October, the Today Show did a story on Tom and Gwyn Lamitina, a Florida couple who fought for but lost custody of their daughter who was born by a surrogate they had hired who decided to keep the baby. Since then, the couple has filed a civil case accusing the surrogate mother of fraud – saying she produced a "litany of lies and dreadful acts of deceit."

Two months later FOX News told the story of a South Carolina woman accused of promising couples she would be their surrogate – who exploited at least six people out of $14,000.

An agency with a proven track record and references supporting it will help intended parents offset the risks that can be involved with this process. The good ones will provide psychological screening of surrogates, legal representation for all parties and a support system for all those involved.

Caveat emptor is, unfortunately, the operative phrase when people show no qualms to take advantage of couples who are desperate to create families, leaving them financially strung out and without a child.

Deciding to become an egg donor is a difficult choice. It isn't for everyone. For awhile, I didn't think it was right for me. At first, I had several concerns. What if I helped bring a child into the world and the parents neglected him or her? I was afraid I would be indirectly responsible for something I had no control over.

Mary Ellen at ARR helped calm my fears during my initial meeting. I'll never forget what she said to me - that the children created through egg donation are very desired. The intended parents who come to ARR want to be parents more than anything.

And suddenly, it hit me that a woman or couple going through all of that trouble, time, expense, emotion and pain, were sacrificing so much in order to have a child. Of course they were going to be the best parents they could be. Their lives were essentially revolving around this process.

After that meeting, I was committed to beginning the process - meeting with the lawyer, psychologist, etc. I also asked to call a former donor and talk to her about her experiences. I felt really good about what I was about to do.

I had a really interesting meeting with a psychologist. He asked me some tough questions that I hadn't thought to ask myself, such as, "If you have your own children some day, would you tell them?" And, "What if the laws change, and a child that was produced from your egg sought to meet you - would you want to meet them?" That was a really positive experience.

It also was easy to meet with the lawyers, where we discussed some of the "what ifs." The lawyers help donors come to an agreement that protects them. We discussed every imaginable scenario, things I never would have thought of on my own. I think it is so important that the legal system is involved with egg donation.

I have donated with ARR twice and am finishing medical school in Chicago, before leaving for New York to complete my residency.

When most of us hear the phrase, "fertility vacation," we think of a tropical destination where couples can get away from stress, relax for a week or two, and come home pregnant.

There's been a lot of talk lately about another kind of fertility vacation, where intended parents travel to a more surrogacy- or egg donation-friendly state, or sometimes, to another country for in-vitro solutions to creating families. A CBC News article describes how a Canadian law prohibiting compensation for egg donors is driving couples across the border, taking their vacation time to work with agencies in the U.S.

In Canada, it's not against the law for women to sell their eggs, only to buy them. That really limits a couple's options: if in-vitro doesn't work, and they can't find a relative or friend to donate eggs without compensation, they are only left with adoption as a legal option.

Certainly, the U.S. isn't perfect - several states don't allow compensation for gestational surrogacy, including Indiana, Michigan and New York. Illinois, on the other hand, is especially surrogacy-friendly because, among other reasons, it allows intended parents to be on the baby's birth certificate immediately following birth.

Until the overall environment becomes friendlier to egg donation and gestational surrogacy, a fertility vacation is an intriguing solution. Interestingly, we also are starting to get calls from couples from Australia and European countries with restrictive laws on both fronts who are looking to "vacation" in Chicago to get their fertility treatment underway.