kjærlighetssorg « WordPress.com Tag Feed

I'm Sorry

attoo — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 11:13:26 +0000

I'm sorry that I loved you
I'm sorry that you didn't

I'm sorry that I trusted you
I'm sorry that you were a liar

I'm sorry that I was blind
I'm sorry that you played with me

I'm sorry that I got hurt
I'm sorry that it was because of you

I'm sorry that I thought it was love
I'm sorry that you've never liked me

I'm sorry that I'm alone now
I'm sorry that you left me

- Atia Ijaz

Hormonene kommer!!

Lenemor — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:08:23 +0000

Lillegutt og jeg har vært på middag hos en venninne og hennes datter i dag.
Utrolig gull å bli invitert på middag på en fredag. Komme rett fra jobben og få servert de deiligste pannekaker med hjemmelagd syltetøy er noe jeg skulle ønske skjedde litt oftere :o)
Akkurat denne venninnen bor i et stort hus som de pusser opp fra grunnen av innvendig, og jeg beundrer dem for å orke å leve i noe som delvis minner om en byggeplass.
Stuen er noenlunde ferdig, og samme med den delen av kjøkkenet vi spiste på. Lyst og fint med store vinduer, romantisk stil og en varm & koselig atmosfære.
Men det tåler jeg tydeligvis ikke.
For da jeg satt ved det store middagsbordet og åt pannekaker med hjemmelagd syltetøy .. med markblomster på bordet og en fantastisk utsikt over vannet, da begynte undertegnede faktisk å sippe. Helt uten forvarsel.
Fordi det minte meg om Fredrikstad, om et gammelt trehus, om en eplehage med mange løpende og leende barn i, om et skikkelig ordinært A4-liv. Ikke spør...

Jeg kan ikke si noe annet enn at det er nødt til å være troppeforflytning på gang igjen.
En massiv forflytning av hormontroppene, for dette er ikke den første runden jeg har vært i gjennom de siste to dagene.

Hver gang jeg ser Trygg Vestas reklame .. du vet den hvor de sier at de ikke kan forsikre deg mot kjærlighetssorg, men at de er tilgjengelige 24 timer i døgnet når det gjelder alt annet .. da begynner jeg også å sippe. Som en unge.
Og for ikke å glemme forelskede par på sykkel. De hvor gutten sykler og jenten sitter bak på baggasjebrettet og holder han forsiktig rundt livet. Du tror kanskje ikke at det er så mange av dem lenger, med tanke på at de fleste sykler kommer uten baggasjebrett, men det er det. Iallefall her jeg bor, og hver eneste gang jeg ser dem setter jeg i gang igjen.
Håpløst..

Jeg vurderer seriøst å stenge meg inne på badet de neste dagene.
Er det noen som kan komme for å passe på Lillegutt?

I Didn't Love You Anyway!

attoo — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 18:54:53 +0000

You broke my heart,
Left me without saying a word.
The boy I thought was the right for me,
Turned out to be a fraud.

I thought you really loved me,
I thought you really cared.
I thought you could do anything for me,
But all you did was to leave me.

But why do I care about you,
Did I actually love you so much?
You thought you could hurt me, didn't you?
Well listen now.

I don't even care that you're gone,
I don't even think about you a second.
You didn't hurt me, no, because;
I didn't love you anyway!

- Atia Ijaz

Alone In This Darkness

attoo — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 05:37:21 +0000

Everything you've heard,
Everything you've read.
Everything you think is true,
Don't believe on that.

It's all lies,
It's not true.
Don't trust them,
I do love you.

I hope you understand,
My life is just shit.
You're the only happiness I've got,
The small light with the darkness around.

I hope you understand,
It's not easy for me.
I hope you understand,
I'm trapped in this darkness.

Do you know how glad I am to have found you?
My greatest happiness,
My only happiness.
No one have ever loved me as much as you do.

So please don't leave me,
Don't make my whole life to a hell.
I have nothing else to live for,
Please, I beg you.

I finally know how much you love me,
Even though, I don't know how it started.
Why did you love me in the beginning?
Was it so hard to tell?

All my written words,
They are for you.
And now my whole life,
I'm giving to you.

I won't have anything to live for,
I won't have anyone to write for,
If you leave me alone,
In this darkness.

- Atia Ijaz

I Did Cry

attoo — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 11:19:08 +0000

What are you doing here in my thoughts?
I thought you left me for a long time ago.
You left me with a broken heart,
Left me without telling what the problem was.

I thought I could handle that,
Thought I could live without you.
But now, suddenly,
You're back..?

I got so many other things to do,
I got a whole life to go through.
But still I remember,
Those days...you and me...

NO!

I don't want these thoughts!
I don't need you here in my life!
I won't remember that day,
I just want you away!

It was steaming inside me,
My heart was crying more then ever.
When you left me...
I still remember that day.
And now, please go away!

I remember when your friend told me that,
That you don't want anything to do with me.
How can I cry for that?!
I don't need a jerk like you in my life!

But I did.
I did cry when you left.
But before that,
I slowly got to know,
Know that you didn't love me any more,
That you don't give a shit!

I did cry...

- Atia Ijaz

I Thought I Could Trust You

attoo — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 18:00:40 +0000

We used to have great times together, didn't we?
The wasy we used to talk to each other?
The way we looked at each other?
The wasy we loved, each other?

I used to think about you all the time,
Couldn't be a second without.
I couldn't hear anything else,
I was totally lost in my own world,
With you.

But when I found out who you really are,
I felt like a fool.
When you left me,
I thought;
How could I trust you?

It really hurted when you left me,
When you just walked away.
Without a word,
You just, left.

And now I have to suffer with this,
This stupid pain.
Through my whole life, thinking;
How could I?

- Atia Ijaz

Fuck was I (Jenny Owen Youngs)

Oda — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 14:53:25 +0000

Ligger i sofaen og tenker på alle gangene jeg har dummet meg ut. Det er noe jeg ofte tenker på når jeg er nede. Alle gangene hvor jeg var naiv og teit, altfor glad eller redd, eller tok sjansen likevel, heller ville angre på et ja enn et nei, fordi det på en måte var for seint allerede. Det er lettere å få tilgivelse enn tillatelse, tenkte jeg, ikke bare fra andre, men også fra meg selv. Men seinere ligger jeg i sofaen og snakker til meg selv: Hva faen tenkte du på? Hva trodde du egentlig, at du skulle bli den eneste som ikke brente deg?

Her er Jenny Owen Youngs med låta som hjalp meg gjennom fjoråret: Fuck was I. Videoen er sensurert, så du må selv tenke deg til f-ordet. Jeg har funnet usensurerte versjoner, men de går ikke an å putte rett inn. Du kan høre dem her (fin tegneserie), her (statisk regnvær), her (slapp konsert), her (uinspirert manga). Forhåpentlig forsvinner ikke alle før vi rekker å si f*** Jo verre du føler deg, jo sterkere vil jeg anbefale de usensurerte. Dette er noe så sjeldent som en hjertesorg-sang som ikke gjør deg apatisk, men gir deg guts.

Love grows in me like a tumor,
parasites bent on devouring its host.
I'm developing my sense of humor,
till I can laugh at my heart between your teeth,
till I can laugh at my face beneath your feet.

Skillet on the stove is such a temptation,
maybe I'll be the lucky one that doesnt get burned.
What the fuck was I thinking?

(Jenny Owen Young i låta «Fuck was I» fra albumet Batten the Hatches, 2005. Hele teksten her.)

GO AWAY

attoo — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 16:46:53 +0000

How does it feel to be tricked on?
Look, I’m even asking myself.
Maybe ‘cause I don’t got anyone else to talk with?
Do I have an answer self?

Look, I can’t even answer myself.
Can’t answer a simple question,
Which I know I have the answer for.
What’s happening with me?!

This confusion, this hate, hate for you.
All these thoughts and feelings, flying around in my head.
I say to them;
GO AWAY!

I know he only was playing with me,
I know I was so stupid.
All you people please;
GO AWAY!

Leave me alone,
Don’t disturb!
I don’t want to see anyone,
So I’m begging you,
Let me cry alone.

- Atia Ijaz