A favourite cafe upstate serves chilled bottles of tap water at each table. Yesterday, the bottle was chilled so that a plug formed. The water dribbled out. It was amusing enough to Monsieur et moi to film pouring it.

Cin cin..

My Mum's friend's daughter designed and laboriously handmade each and every invitation, and table and seating card for every guest and invitee for lil'sis's wedding. Since she did such amazing work and all the women-folk of my familia, most especially lil'sis', were very pleased, I thought I'd tell you and you and you about her. So, please click the image above to check out her website, and forward this link to your friends and familia. Thank you kindly.

Now, back to the newbie-journo races..

This seems to distract me a little as I like peace and quiet as I write. I am in a little glass bowl, which normally at that time, has only my energy in and around it... and when someone else comes in, it kinda messes with my mojo.

As I sit and write now, there is still someone in the office, behind me, and she can probably read everything I'm writing, but her presence isn't as distracting. But I just feel obliged to get something out.

Strange isn't it?  That after only 3 weeks (tomorrow) I feel like I owe, not just you, but me, the time and space to put fingers to keyboard and type away about something I'm feeling or thinking - even if its "just for today".

I'm a reformed smoker. Sometimes I still smoke, but mostly I don't. The writing, when I first really started, made me CRAVE like I haven't in a very long time. So I smoked... and smoked... and then I stopped. Now, perhaps I'm not writing things as deeply (if that makes sense), or perhaps I'm just getting more and more used to the feeling of "exposure" that writing tends to bring to me. And this means that I don't crave so much.

Either way. I am glad to be here. I have had nothing but welcome and good things. The sense of not just friendship, but kinship is wonderful. For example, my blog practically forced me to see Sanity... or should I say rather that it gave me a really really good excuse to see her after so many years. I needed someone to explain how it all works?

I'm the type of person that I like to be shown, or I learn myself. I'm not so good with instructions. So I persuaded her into seeing me and, well, I for one I'm very glad that we got to meet up. And laugh... and laugh and laugh...

So... what I guess I'm trying to say is that not all habits are bad. Her blog habit brought us closer and helped me to form my own blog. My own place where I can talk about what I feel is important and hopefully, as the days go on, and this blog here gets bigger, it will be what you feel is important to. And what you write has also become important to me. I like to read Amber, AA, My name is anonymous, Girl without shoes, Vanessa etc (all on my blogroll) and of course SanityFound.

I don't believe that habits all are bad. Here are, for example, a few habits that I have, which I think are good ones (or, at least, are not bad):

1. I kiss my partner every time I say goodbye or hello
2. I hug my friends when I say goodbye or hello
3. Every time I get home I pick up my munchkins (kitties) and give them some love
4. I lock my car door whenever I go anywhere in my car
5. I drink a lot of water
6. I constantly want to learn new things
7. I read. Alot. Mostly fiction.
8. I (mostly) don't smoke... as much as smoking is a habit... not smoking is also.
9. I answer my phone (mostly) when it rings
10. I often wish those I care about "safe" - wherever they are I think about them and send them "Safe" wishes (please keep him/her safe today/tonight
11. I am polite (sometimes to much so)
12. I put the alarm on on my home whenever I leave the house
13. I go to work everyday
14. I feed my kitties
15. I always try and match my socks to my underwear (who knows why)
16. I try and take a few moments each day to just "breathe" (still new... working on it... but its coming)
17. I watch what I put into my mouth (most people call this fussy... but I think its not a bad thing)
18. I ask a lot of questions
19. I listen
20. I write
21. I feel
22. I speak
23. I love
24. I am

On October 22nd, the Monterey Bay Aquarium (MBA) will launch the Sushi Seafood Guide. This new addition to MBA's popular Seafood Watch series of pocket guides will provide sushi diners an easy-to-use and portable solution to the what to eat conundrum. Next time you're dining out at Nobu, Masa or the neighborhood crappy Japanese joint*, "you’ll be able to make seafood choices that please the palate and protect the world’s ocean wildlife." The new pocket guide is available free and can be pre-ordered here.

Take the Sushi Watch pledge..

If food and environment are top priority issues for you, and you're comfortable chatting with your local sushi restaurant chefs, take your participation a few steps further to become a Sushi Watch Advocate. The MBA site asks that you take a pledge, the form is available here, and they'll send you a Seafood Watch Action Kit. It's a small effort to help with this fishy cause.

Now let's party like the fishes Under the Sea..

What food advocacy and education efforts would be complete without a National Sushi Party. The information for this one's listed on Facebook. The 'dinner' takes place between October 22 and 28. That should be sufficient time for everyone to find a date. Why not make it a Sadie Hawkins. Ok. Maybe not.

Itadakimasu..

*The expression relates to one specific place nearby where I live. But perhaps if you live in Gotham, you'll know what I'm tapping about.

I haven't cooked anything since the roast chicken. Not even an omelette. I've been to the farmer's market in Morningside and upstate in Ithaca, and there is one farm stand I stalk for their concord grapes. Otherwise, I haven't been following or advancing personal food ways and thinking, and admit I've been resting on so-called food laurels.

This post isn't going anywhere specific either. Except to tap that I'll be posting photos and captions over the coming weeks until the food muse graces me again. After the weekend spent for my little sister's wedding, I'm imagining, or hoping, the muse returns to me in the form of something, someone, to inspire in all the ways that leads someone to the chapel of prandium.

Salut..

..or the one that got away.

A dark chocolate-dipped strawberry was sacrificed for the mouth-feeling enjoyment of the lady holding the plate. Sadly, moments after the picture was taken, she was distracted away to laugh and frolic. The strawberry sat forgotten and uneaten.

A moment of silence for desserts lost in the wedding war. . .

G(r)amma-ray couldn't attend little sister's wedding last weekend except in spirit, and in residual DNA left unwashed from her rings.

Cin cin..

Somebody has quite a sweet tooth but somehow managed to share with friends and loved ones.

Buen provecho..

À bientôt..

This is the list who are available during the first Hari Raya:

• Family of Abg Sar
• Family of Kak Emi
• Family of Kak Farah
• Family of Abg Mood
• Me

I woke up at 4.30 AM and went to toilet for nature call. Basically, I can't really sleep once I got disturbed of my stomach and noisy (but not when I'm tired). I went down and see my mom talked with my auntie. Suddenly, they invited me to go to Subuh prayer at Masjid (I never went to before........seriously). Don't want make my mom felt upset, I just follow them using Che Su's Pajero. (sleepy... yawn.. ) What to do? Follow the crowd do the tahlil, recite, and salam with the other ladies.

Once reach home, I feel like want to sleep but I can't. I decided not go to Raya's Prayer (still sleepy) hence while waiting them to finish the Raya's Prayer, I get my hair and my nails done. Then the normal procedure, give the ang pow to the kids, my granny and my mom. Salam and salam, take picture. Done!

Afternoon? Sleep until evening and I missed all my relative's houses for a day... LOL

Note: Written as an exposition of William C. Young's ethnography on the Rashaayda Bedouin.

Kinship, the harrow of culture, is an abstract concept that takes on many forms throughout mankind.  Kinship, or a kin group, is best defined as “a group of people who culturally conceive themselves to be relatives ... and share a sense of identity” (Peoples 405).  In essence, kinship is how people relate to each other as friends and family.  The concept of kinship is a holistic in that it affects the entire worldview of a person.  When people perceive each other as kin a strong bond is created that causes each person to base major life decisions, such as where to live and how to make a living, around staying near to kin.  In some societies - usually Eastern societies that do not stress individualism and independence – kinship and making a living  are closely interwoven into the fabric of their worldview - due to their need for survival.  We shall examine one such society, the Rashaayda Bedouin, and focus on how their work necessitates strong kinship.

The Rashaayda Bedouin are an Arabic people that primarily dwell in the northeastern regions of Sudan.  Apart from Islam, they are distinct from most other Arabs due to their own Rashiidi dialect of Arabic and their many unusual customs.  As “Bedouin” indicates they are primarily nomadic pastoralists that make a living by traveling “the deserts seeking fresh water and pastureland for their camels, goats, and sheep” (Abu Jaber, par. 1).  However, they are not fully sustained as just herders.  They combine “subsistence pastoralism, subsistence agriculture, commerce, and wage labor in their effort to earn a living” (Young 27).  As agriculturalists they cultivate land, during the rainy seasons, to yield crops of grain.  When they dabble in commerce they trade or purchase supplies in villages or city markets.  At times they even send their grown children into Egypt or Saudi Arabia to earn money through wage labor.  Overall, the Rashiidi people are adaptable to their local and surrounding environments and work tirelessly, though not without pleasure or a sense of accomplishment, to sustain their kin.

The kinship structure of the Rashaayda Bedouin is intricate and essential to the Rashiidi way of life.  The Rashaayda Bedouin divide their kinship structure into the household, the extended household, and the dry-season camp.  The household consists of those “who have the right to sleep in the tent” while the extended household consists of  “a larger social unit, consisting of from two to as many as nine households whose tents occupy a shared campsite” (Young 33).  The dry-season camp is a congregation of several extended households in a large campsite during the dry-seasons.  We shall specifically examine the household for the purpose of identifying how kinship affects the division of the workload.

The household, and subsequently the workload, is divided into masculine, feminine, and neuter classifications.  (It is interesting to note how closely related language, worldview, kinship, and work production are to each other under these three essential human classification.)  The household tent is considered feminine in that it is “inhabited territory” while the outdoors is considered masculine in that it is “empty desert” where the safety of women is threatened (Young, pp. 14-15,75).  Both men and women, in Rashiidi society, naturally adhere to this division of space.  Thus, any work that is indigenous to the outdoors is tasked to men and any work that is indigenous to the indoors is tasked to women – with neutral exceptions.  For example, only men can make tent poles, tent pegs, wooden skewers, and saddles; only men can herd, shear, kill, skin, and butcher animals; only men can cultivate and harvest land or make purchases in the market place.  On the other hand, only women can spin and weave tent or sun-screen cloth, grind grain, churn milk, draw water, cook for their household, decorate, or clean and tan animal skins; only women can assemble and disassemble the tents, and only women can rear infants.  Yet both men and women are allowed to feed animals grain, milk their animals, brew coffee, cook meat, cut and shape leather, and wash and mend their own clothes – sometimes depending on spatial location or preference (Young, pp. 15-16,45,48-49).  This division of workload isn't formally taught or explained by the Rashiidi, they view it simply as how things are – they were raised this way and believe it to be the right way to do things.

Another aspect of the Rashiidi way of life to consider, in relation to kinship, is the role of a child.  The child, as an infant, is raised entirely by its mother.  As a girl grows older the mother will continue to raise her into adulthood.  Yet as a boy grows older he is shifted from maternal to sole paternal care.  When a boy is physically able to work he becomes an apprentice to his father and is expected to work just as hard (Young 45).  Likewise, a girl learns alongside her mothers.  Both boys and girls are “expected to gain increasing mastery over animals” (Young 47) as they grow older.  This is expected because they must obtain the skills necessary to survive in the harsh landscape they live in.  In essence, the child's education is based entirely in shadowing their parents in the workload.

This division of the labor between the sexes and the demands upon children may initially seem like an inequality – something for Westerners, who emphasize independence, to gawk and guffaw at.  On the contrary, the Rashiidi, both men and women, feel that they have obtained a desirous level of harmony through this division in everyday life.  With everyone assigned to their proper tasks and roles a seeming military precision appears.  What would otherwise become a boisterous conflict between the sexes, vying for the others workload, now proves harmonious under a well-balanced systematic division of labor.  Men do not desire to do what the women do and vice versa.  Likewise, children are disciplined at a young age in learning the Rashiidi way of life for survival.  Once they mature into adulthood their skills will become second nature to them, giving them the ability to survive and raise their own children as they were.  This balance between man, woman, and child enables Rashiidi society to function satisfactorily and sustain themselves.

The familial kinships and their affect upon production extends beyond just the household.  The Rashiidi live by a moral standard that “emphasizes such values as courage, generosity, and tribal loyalty” (Abu Jaber, par. 3).  Thus, the extended households and even the dry-season camps, to an extent, assist each other as best as they can.  Though they retain private property, they organize in such a way as to protect and help each other – such as protective tent arrangements, water control by an experienced elder, and rising to defend each other in times of battle with competing ethnic tribes.  By including their entire ethnic group into their kin system each family finds insurance and protection when times are tough.

Kinship is absolutely vital to the Rashiidi way of life; the way they relate to each other, within their families, extended families, and the dry-season camps, instills a spirit of servility and a love for their kin – ultimately enabling their way of life.  This is not uncommon throughout many cultures in our world.  The common pragmatic approach to developing an efficient system of sustaining work almost always includes developing strong kinship with others to ensure the best possible chance for survival.  Perhaps this is exactly how our ancestors survived in the early years of humanity.

Works Cited

Abu Jaber, Kamel S. “Bedouin.” World Book Multimedia Encyclopedia [Computer Software]. Ed. Dale W. Jacobs. World Book, Inc., 2005. 5 pars.

Peoples, James, and Garrick Bailey. Humanity: An Introduction to Cultural Anthropology. Belmont: Thomson Wadsworth, 2006.

Young, William C. The Rashaayda Bedouin: Arab Pastoralists of Eastern Sudan. Belmont: California Wadsworth Group, 2002.

See article for references:

Tenhunen, S. (2008) 'Mobile technology in the village: ICTs, culture, and social logistics in India', JRAI (N.S.) 14, 515-534

It's hard to find relatives and friends who you can really become close with.  People who you can trust to lift you up when you are down or give a helping hand when you need it.  We meet for the sake of Allah and insha Allah we will be counted as those who are shaded on the Day of Judgement because of our friendship.  So, for all those who do that for me, this one is for you:

Note: If you like this, send it out to those you care for.

Also, I'd like to thank everyone who supports this project.  I'm not just saying this but I really do appreciate everyone who has helped in anyway, from blogging, commenting, joining us, making videos, translating, and those who are part of our team.  May Allah reward all of you immensely for taking our initiative to new heights.

Why not share this with all your unforgettable friends today....I just did!

Have a Grrreat day and week !

Thanks to Kristi, my friend since 8th grade!

It's now 10 months later, and she's a happy, healthy, rambunctious toddler.

This blog is my outlet to the events past and the challenges of what is coming.

A book that lies within my mind

Has memories on each page

And names of those who touched my life

While on life’s awesome stage

Just knowing you became a gift

That no one takes away

You touched my heart, my mind, my soul

When our paths crossed that day

We felt a kinship from the start

Back in those days of old

And I will not forget the day

That you signed that book in gold

8/4/00 - Phyllis DeWitt-VanVleck

A book that lies within my mind

Has memories on each page

And names of those who touched my life

While on life’s awesome stage

Just knowing you became a gift

That no one takes away

You touched my heart, my mind, my soul

When our paths crossed that day

We felt a kinship from the start

Back in those days of old

And I will not forget the day

That you signed that book in gold

8/4/00 - Phyllis DeWitt-VanVleck

"Black families have been known to incorporate people and create wider
associations," said Todné Thomas, a doctoral student in anthropology at
the University of Virginia who taught a summer course called "Kinfolks,
Families and Relating in the African Diaspora."

Black families, she said, can be seen as resilient and flexible in
their cooperation and continuity. A family "is a socially recognized
unit" that is not only biological but also social.

"'Kinfolks' is a vernacular term for expressing relationships," Thomas said.

In the course, students read anthropology, history, sociology and
public policy to look at how Africans who moved or were moved to South
America and the Caribbean, as well as North America, found ways to
maintain an extended family structure. At the time, Western norms of
family arrangement were foreign to them, Thomas said.

Coincidentally, CNN provided a real-time exercise with its two-part
series, "Black in America," highlighting some of the issues the class
delved into in more depth and breadth.

The class decided to write a letter to the television network
critiquing the documentary — which, for starters, split the episodes
into "The Black Woman and Family" and "The Black Male."

Although it presented a large family reunion and told the stories of
some of its members, it still relied on the assumption that the
patriarchal nuclear family with mother and father is the normative
family structure.

Another point they discussed was that the show did not capture the
diversity within the U.S. population of black people. Thomas, for
example, is conducting field work on the West Indian Brethren Church in
Atlanta, which comprises people from Jamaica, Trinidad, Barbados and
Guyana.

"The students had great insights," Thomas said of their reaction to the CNN show.

She had her 10 students study not only how slavery hampered that family
unit centuries ago, but also how later social policies unwittingly
undermined that model.

Jumping to the 1960s, the class read about policymakers who based their
welfare programs on the norm of the heterosexual nuclear family and
immutable gender roles. If there was a male in the household, it was
assumed no assistance would be needed, so only women with dependent
children received aid. The stereotype of "welfare mothers" developed,
and the prevalence of female-headed households still is usually
portrayed in a negative light.

Kendall Nicholson, a rising third-year architecture major, said, "I
wanted to take this class because I think it is important culturally to
understand what, socially, people often tend to misunderstand."

The small group allowed for lively discussion of several related topics
and group projects, Thomas said. In addition to readings, the students
were also exposed to different perspectives through visual media,
including other documentaries.

Chelsea Green, a fourth-year psychology major in the early education
master's program in the Curry School, said, "Now that we have delved
into some readings and I have learned more about past West African and
African-American families, this class forces me to look at my present
idea and conception of family."

Myah Marshall, a student in the Rainey Academic Program for incoming
first-years to get acquainted with the University, decided to "test the
waters" with the class.

"It is very interesting to see the different structures of black
families, along with seeing the different ways in which these
structures are made possible," she said. "Since the class is smaller,
the discussions are much more intimate."

The class also looked at the emergence of genetic ancestry testing and what it means for racial heritage and identity.

The students' final project involved using digital media to compare
traditional genealogical research with the new industry of genetic
ancestry testing.

In the past, science was misused to determine or describe racial
identity, Thomas said. She wanted her students to think about the
compelling personal reasons for researching one's past and to consider
a wide range of social, cultural

Right now I’m paying my annual pilgrimage to our family home, Pine Haven, on Cape Cod. My great-grandfather Timothy Paige bought Pine Haven in 1911 as a summer home when he came into some money from his uncle who had earned a bundle during the California Gold Rush selling pickaxes to the miners. Tim and the other Paiges had been farmers in central Massachusetts (Hardwick) for generations, so the inheritance was quite a shock.

Some of the money went for infrastructure in the village of Hardwick and some was spent on Pine Haven, the house next door to it and the house across the street. Pine Haven’s current owners are my second cousin Patty, who was born a Paige, and her husband. The house across the street also remains in the family and other cousins have bought or built homes within a block or two, so you could almost say we have a family compound – although it’s hardly grand.

Patty has taken it upon herself to organize family reunions every few years. We come from all across the country to participate and celebrate our Paigeness. We make a day trip to Hardwick to see the Paige Library, the Paige pew in the Universalist church, the modest Paige Agricultural Center, the statue of gold-rusher Calvin Paige.

[caption id="attachment_502" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Paige Library, Hardwick MA"][/caption]

About ten years ago Patty’s husband instituted a suitably fake-solemn ceremony when their daughter Paige married. With a ribbon, certificate and pompous pronouncement, he inducted the groom into the “I married a Paige” clan. Since then, whenever a member of the extended Paige family marries, their spouse is inducted at the reception, witnessed by growing numbers of the in-law clan, and cheered on by the “birth” Paiges.

So here’s the question: why am I a Paige, and not a Kimball, Bachrach or Keyes? Although my dad’s mom was the Paige, I carry equal shares of genetic material from my other three grandparents. I’m just a quarter-blood Paige by that reckoning.

But if my grandpa had been the Paige instead of my grandma, my Dad would have carried the name as a full Paige and I’d be a half-blood. If I was my dad’s son my name would still be Paige and I could also consider myself full-blood.

At each generation, the blood of one family line is diluted by each new family into which the children marry. Over time the dilution of a particular family’s genes could be considered only homeopathic in strength. And yet, if the family has sons at each generation who pass the family surname to their sons, the name continues at full strength, no matter how many generations have passed.

When does a bloodline begin then? Who is the most essential Paige, or Smith, Jones, Epstein, Kennedy?

Why am I a Paige? Because we say so. Because the Kimballs, Bachrachs, and Keyes never got their familyness acts together the way the Paiges did.

The regular gatherings of the clan and sub-groups of the clan reinforce our Paigeness. Patty's collection of Paige photos going back more than 100 years and her unstinting hospitality to family members reinforce our Paigeness. The wedding ritual certainly celebrates Paigeness. And finally, we are blessed with a connection to Place. Pine Haven is the place we’ve been coming to for a hundred years, and there are more of us across the street and down the road. We can also go back to a village in central Massachusetts and see our name on various plaques on buildings, headstones in the graveyard.

We are literally grounded, and in today’s quickly changing world I find this solidity comforting.

It is also quite funny that we say how we make each other fat. haha. She is an awesome cook. She is well-rounded in traditionally Chinese and Vietnamese cuisines. I am in a way her partner in crime in stealing recipes from restaurants and eateries. We did it more often when I was living only a few block from her. We have been moving around lot in the past couple of years and the chances for that aren't as much. I missed those time with her just going out to eat and then talk about nothing but food. I do that with my brother now but it is not the same. We make quite an awesome team in term of how we can basically pick out most ingredients used to prepare our food. Yes, we are not only talking about the visible ingredient but the codiments and seasonings also. Well, I admit she is better than me at that. haha. I think that is the part that makes her a far better cook than I beside the fact that I don't like shopping for ingredients. The guessing of ingredients of course are only part of the fun. We also guess how a dish could have been prepared. Some are easier than others of course. From all that, we formulate our recipes and if it sounds good we would give it a try. In which I mean, she would do the cooking and I am her assistant and taster. We usually have a lot of fun.

The time I spent with her last month had some of that. We did spend a night preparing for a few dishes for a friend's birthday party. It was only for four dishes but the amount of food we prepared could literally feed at least fifty poeple. It involved hours of shredding carrots and cucumbers, splitting lotus roots, dicing shallots and garlics, peeling shrimps, and murdering of a whole lot of others ingredients. The results are house lo mein, Lotus Root Salad, marinated Korean short ribs, and Shiitake and oyster mushrooms over steamed chicken on a bed of green. All home made with my cousin's recipes, which like mine in my head. haha. It wasn't strange that we would spend the hours before dawn up preparing for the feast. She and I are night owls. When we spend time together, we usually talk or find thing to amuse ourselves until dawn.

In many ways, she and I shared a special bond that not only bounded by kinship but also by our interests in some of the gray areas of life. We don't want to share every living moment together but when we have the chance we rarely let it goes wasted. She will always be my favorite cousin. Of course, we can be quite annoyance to each other at times but we are always good old friends.