The kidlet and I stopped at our local Giant for a donut on the way to the grandparents' house the other morning.  He was trying to decide what donut he wanted and finally pointed to a tray and said, "I'll take the fat one on the right."  Always the smartass, I said "Yeah, that's pretty much how I get picked out of a crowd too."  My son, who's wit is just as quick as mine says, "Mom, stop it!  You aren't even on the right!"

He kills me.

When he was little, he coudn't say squirrel.  It came out squeer-ul.  We would take a walk and he would see a squirrel and he'd shout out "Momma, lookit a squeer-ul"!  :)  He pronounces it correctly now.  The other word he had trouble with was horse.  He said "forse".  No matter how hard I tried (the whole h-h-h-horse came out of his mouth as h-h-h -forse) it was still forse.  We lived near Lancaster county and therefore, saw horse and buggies all the time.  He would get so excited when he would see a "forse and buggy".  He prounces that correctly now too.

One of my friend's son used to call a caterpillar an addapidder.  I use that word all the time when I see a caterpillar.  Oh, he also used to call manicotti manacoyote :)  Another one of my friend's daughter used to call a helicopter a huckapucker.  I still use that word too, so does the kidlet, LOL!  We get strange looks and have to explain what the heck we are talking about.

I just glanced out my window and it's beautiful outside.  I know it's a little chilly, but the sky looks awesome!  I wish I would've brought my camera with me today.  I could've gone outside at lunch to snap some pictures.  There are some really gorgeous daffodils blooming right out front. 

I am actually waiting on a new camera bag I purchased to arrive until I start schlepping it around.  I have a bag it's currently in, but I don't like it.  I picked up a nice Lowepro Slingshot bag. 

Here are some pictures of it:

Yeah, I am gonna look like a nerd, and what?  :)  I don't care, so neener neener.  My camera will be safe and secure and easy to get to just like in that there picture in the middle.  Swing it around to the front from the back and open the lid and voila, shoot! 

I should probably get back to work now...

Friday evening, the kidlet and I had dinner with my mom at Friendly's.  I expected it to be jam-packed but it wasn't, thank goodness.  That place is small enough without it being crammed.  After dinner, I wasn't feeling that great, so when I got home, I decided to get in my jammies and lay down.  It wasn't long after that I was out for the count. 

Saturday I woke up bright and early and got some laundry done before the kidlet got up.  It was raining and ugly and cold out, blah.   We went and got some lunch at Dairy Queen.  We played with our food:

Then, we went skating again with Maria and her boys.  Her youngest, Austin, who is autistic, loves to go.  He's too cute.  He really gets into the music they play lol.  Love it.  Maria gave me a pair of skates and they have a lower axel and wider wheels than the rentals so it took me a few laps to get used to them.  I fell down on the carpeted area in front of the skate rental counter and nearly peed myself laughing.  Maria was there and caught me...sort of.  I am not even sure how the hell I fell down.  I was standing there talking to her and next thing I know I am falling.  It was funny.  I hit my left knee on the floor, which wasn't funny and left a bruise.  Der.

There was some teenage girl drama in the bathroom while I was there.  Oy.  I am so glad I don't have a girl.  They are too squealy and dramatic.  The drama was over some boy.  Three older girls were picking on a younger girl and I stepped in and told the older ones to leave the younger one alone and to pick on someone their own size.  Next thing you know the younger one was knocked down, banged her head and had a bloody lip and the older ones were the only ones around when this happened.  There were tears and much blubbering.  Again I say I am glad I have a son.

When we came out of the skating rink, the rain stopped and it was sunny and kind of nice.  We went home for a bit before I went to fake and bake.  While I was laying in the tanning bed, the outside weather was getting ominous.  About halfway through, my bed shut down.   I heard the girl working shriek and then the bed came back on.  LOL!  It was weird.  One minute, I was warm, the next not warm, then warm again.  When I came out from the room I was in, she said she freaked out because that never happened before.  She told me the whole complex had gone out.  When I got home, the electric was out at our house...grrrrr.  It was starting to get dark and it was still really windy and cold.  I have an electric-fired oil burner, so guess what, my heat was going to come on anytime soon.  I called my parents' house and my dad answered.  They live less than a mile from me and I asked if they had electric and they did.  Apparently it was a small section of the borough I live in that was affected.  Figures.  My parents felt sorry for me and the kidlet, so they took us out for dinner :)  By the time we arrived home, the electric was back on.  WHOO! 

The kidlet and I had a "sleep over" in my room on Saturday night.  That usually equals a backache for me the next day.  He is all over the place when he sleeps.  I usually end up with his knees in my back or hanging off the edge of the bed. 

I woke up early Sunday morning and realized that I hadn't set the clocks forward...I hate springing forward and losing an hour.  I love that it stays light later, but that whole first night losing that hour, irritating..

I spent the morning cleaning and putting laundry away while the kidlet slept in.  When he got up, I went tanning. 

Now, for the title of this post (are you still reading?  good.)  Last evening, I was doing something and the kidlet handed me something and I said Danke schön.  He looked at me like I had three heads and said, "What did you just call me?"  LOL!  I told him it meant thank you in German.  Later on, I was helping him with something and he says to me "donkey shame" and I lost it.  I mean, rolling on the floor, laughing hysterically lost it.  He again looked at me like I had three heads and when I stopped laughing I told him the correct way to pronounce it.  Dear Lord, he kills me.

I hate Mondays.

I am thinking a comedy/variety hour live from our bathtub on Comedy Central could potentially be a big hit.  We are pretty funny, well, at least we think we are.

I am so thankful my child inherited my sense of humor, we can crack each other up like nobody's business.  We can find the humor in almost any situation, no matter what.

He actually takes after me in a lot of ways.  One thing we realized this AM was that he DOES NOT like his picture taken anymore.  I am the same way.  I would much rather be behind the camera than in front of it.

As I was trying to take his picture this morning after he came downstairs, he shared this with me.  He asked me to stop taking his picture, because he didn't like it being taken.  Of course I had to give him the guilt trip.  I told him I was making memories and that I loved taking pictures of him, that I loved photography.  He said if I loved photography, I should be a photographer.  When I told him I couldn't be a good photographer if I couldn't practice taking pictures (of him) he suggested I go take some pictures of fruit.  Fruit.  Where the hell did that come from? 

*RANDOMNESS ALERT*

Male readers, does having a penis make you completely oblivious to anything but you?  I ask because as I sit here taking a break from working to eat my lunch, the bossman approaches and asks if I am eating...um, no, I was just putting this fork of food in my mouth to see if it will all fit...of course I am eating you dolt! 

*/RANDOMNESS*

Where was I?  Oh yes, fruit.  I am not sure where he came up with that one, but it was funny.  You may not think so, but I did. 

In other funny news, 2.3 and I were yacking on IM today and having fun with acronyms.  Today's acronym was WTF.  Apparently he and another one of his friends do that all the time and they say 'what the ferret' sometimes.  We had some pretty funny ones.

Oh, btw, 2.3 is one of my oldest guy friends.  We met about 17 years ago on a BBS and have been friends ever since.  He's techy nerdy like me, but to a higher degree.  A way higher degree, lol.  We yack throughout the day on IM since most days we are both tied (not literally) to our computers. 

I can't wait to get out of work and go tanning.  I need my sun therapy.  Yes, the real sun is out today, but I am inside and can't enjoy it.  I am gonna have to cover up my face today though, it's a little red from yesterday.  I hope I get room six.  That room has the best, loudest speaker for the radio!  Yesterday I was rocking out while laying there pretending I was at the beach.

Ok, I finished eating now, so I will get back to my work.  I am just waiting for the bossman to come back and ask me if I am done eating...yoy.

Time for me to go save the world...

Ok, here's how it started:  I get him up and he was sorta grumpy.  That quickly faded, because he for some reason started quoting lines from Norbit.  Now, I have never seen this movie, but he has four times.  Thrice at his friends' house, once at my parents' house.  So, apparently there is a scene in the movie where the large woman is at the pool and someone asks her if she's wearing panties??  So, the kidlet starts impersonating the large woman by walking around with his hands on his hips saying "Of course I am wearing panties" in this voice that nearly made me die with laughter.  Then he told me about a skinny girl at the pool that the large woman told to "go to the concession stand and get some chocolate bars" because she was too skinny.  OMG, I was laughing so hard.  He kills me.

Oh, but it didn't end there.  It continued.  As I was downstairs gathering up our wares to take with us, he's upstairs yelling "Of course I am wearing panties" and I am downstairs doubled over with laughter...oy.

We leave the house and are on our way to the Giant.  He said to me that one of his friends in school considers practicing keyboards and math facts a good time.  The kidlet said he thought that was a little nerdy.  I told him that maybe that kid thinks what he does for a good time is nerdy too.  That only got him rolling singing the "White & Nerdy" song.  He doesn't know all the lyrics, so he was making them up as he went along.  I nearly veered into a pole when he shouted "Oh my God I'm white and nerdy, holy heck I'm white and nerdy, what's the deal, I'm white and nerdy"!  Seriously, he was just on a roll.  By this time, I was crying...my mascara was running, I kid you not.  He looks at me right before we get out of the car and says "We are going to Hell, aren't we mom?"  LMAO! 

We went into the Giant and were perusing the frozen food lunch thingies and he starts laughing...hard.  I turn around and see this:

OMG.  He had me convinced that this monkey had a penis.  I lost it right there in the frozen foods aisle.  He said to me, "Mom, can you BELIEVE that they made something like this???  Who would want to play with this???"  By the way, it was a dog toy...not a toy for a child.  What the hell it was doing in the frozen foods aisle, I am still trying to figure out.  I was doubled over and laughing so hard, that the remainder of my mascara was now running down my cheeks. 

Now, maybe you are thinking, that's disgusting!  However, I am very open with my son.  We have a rule that he can ask me ANYTHING and I will talk openly talk to him about it.  Let me tell you what, he asks me ANYTHING.  I am glad though, I would rather he hear it from me.  It's just the way it is with us.

We went to check out and there was someone in the self-check area that smelled, well, foul.  It smelled like someone crapped themselves.  I prayed to God that the kidlet's nose was clogged but it wasn't.  I knew IMMEDIATELY when he smelled it by the look on his face.  I had to turn away from him because I would've lost it again.  We got checked out and left. 

As we got in the car, he looked at me and said "DID YOU SMELL THAT"???  I told him I did.  He said "OMG, mom, I think someone needs to go check their pants"!  Indeed.  He also told me that he thought he was going to throw up it was so bad.

As we left the parking lot, he started singing his "White and Nerdy" song again...it's been stuck in my head ever since...

Good times, good times.

That's what the kidlet has taken to calling me.  Why?  Oh, hell, I have no clue.  But it cracks me up.  He's not being disrespectful at all.  He just decided I needed a nickname is all.  So, Dan it is.

I have been in rare form the last two days.  Yesterday I was having issues with some itching from tanning and I called Heather on the phone and when she answered I announced it was itchy boobs calling.  HA HA HA.  I am not normal.  She already knows this.

Today while walking in the Giant to pick up some creamer for work, the kidlet decided he wanted some of those new cereal straw thingies.  I obliged.  He picked the cocoa crispies kind.  I shouted out "Whoo, crap, snackle, pop!" in the cereal aisle.  He cringed.  Oh, he's used to me being a dolt in the middle of the grocery store, that's normal.  It was probably that I said "CRAP, SNACKLE, POP" and not "SNAP, CRACKLE, POP".  Heh.  Some lady who was in the same aisle was laughing almost as hard as me.  She even crossed her legs like I do when I laugh hard.  I bet she's had children, lol.

I sometimes accidentally say things wrong like that.  Like yesterday when I was referring to something and said Ert & Bernie.  The kidlet looked at me like I had just ridden the train in from tardville.  He looks at me all serious-like and says, "Um, do you mean Bert & Ernie, like in Sesame Street"?  And I said, "Uh, yeah, that's what I said" and he said, "Uh, no you didn't, Dan, you said 'ert & bernie'...duh".  HA HA HA.  Ok maybe I did, but I meant Bert & Ernie. 

It's snowing here today, lookee:

I hate snow.  I am sitting here freaking out about it, and really shouldn't be.  I have to drive a whopping .7 miles home.  I just don't like driving in it.  Hell, I could walk home, and I would too if I had my snowboots with me.  The schools are closing early.  The kidlet will be excited for that.

The radio is saying that this crap is going to turn into freezing rain, yuck.  Hopefully my class tonight will be postponed...I don't wanna drive in freezing rain! 

Ok, it's time for Dan to eat...ciao!

Yeah, I've been busy.  Thanks for asking.

Swamped even.

It's all good.  I am used to it.  I just haven't had time to blog.  Well, that's a lie, I have, but it's at 3 AM and by then, I am too flipping tired to think.  Oh, and I am sleeping at that point too.  I can't write in my sleep, yo.

So, what's been up you ask?  Well, let's see...work has been busy.  It's tax season and the bossman does income tax prep for people, the copier and I have become best friends.  In addition to that, I am still working on the account review project.  I am almost done!  WHOO HOO!

Indoor soccer is half-way over.  :(  Bums me out, but that means that spring outdoor is just around the corner, so that's cool.  I have our roster and have contacted all our boys. 

I start a coaching class tomorrow night, which I am very excited about.  It's being taught by a guy from a local premier club who just so happens to be from England.  I plan to close my eyes during class and pretend it's David (hubba hubba!) Beckham talking.  He looks nothing like Beckham, not even close...but his accent is hot. 

I am newly addicted to Munchos...omg, it's just not right.

My kidlet and I got GH2 and another guitar controller and we now pretend we are in a rock band and jam together a lot.  We are awesome.  He told me the other day that even though I am really weird, he still loves me ha ha ha!  I told him that none of his friends ' parental units are as cool as I am, weird or not.  He agreed.  I didn't have to pay him to agree ha ha ha!

I was tired of being so flipping white that I glowed in the dark, so I started tanning.  I am slowly getting color.  The girls are gonna look hot all tanned in a low cut number now, get jealous.

The kidlet spent the night at a friend's on Friday night, which meant I could *gasp* go out!  I did, I met a couple friends at a local watering hole and after being there approximately 11.5 minutes, I had to leave because I started to feel sick in my stomach.  I literally ran home.  I walked to the place because it's not far...thank God it wasn't far.  Ugh. 

I woke up Saturday morning feeling like I had been out partying it up the night before.  Heh, I wish.  I woke up around 7 ish and let the dog out and felt like CRAP.  So, after the dog came back in, I headed back upstairs.  My head was pounding and my stomach was furiously gurgling at me.  I searched the medicine cabinet for some ibuprofen and had NONE...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.  I found a bottle half-full of children's ibuprofen in bubble gum flavor and downed that, praying for some relief from the pounding head.  I went back to bed and fell back asleep.  My phone rang several times and I never heard it.  Around noon, I heard my phone and I answered it.  It was my mother.  She asked why I sounded "mad at the world" lol.  I said I wasn't.  She asked what I was doing and I told her sleeping.  She said "You know it's noon don't you?"  Uhhhhh, oops.  I did not know that.

Apparently the liquid ibuprofen helped.  My head was no longer pounding, but I still had a slight headache and my stomach was still furious.  I lazed around a little longer and then the kidlet called me and was ready to come home.  I drug my butt out of bed and went to get him in my pajamas.  I didn't give a rip what anyone thought, I fell like butt.  I think I brushed my hair, but I can't remember.  Meh, who cares.

I am feeling much better today, thanks for asking.  LOL.

I think I will eat my lunch and continue reviewing accounts now...ta ta.

What have I been doing you ask?  Well, I am working on a project at work that requires me to be glued to my computer the entire day.  I have to review a total of 936 accounts so the data can be converted to a new system.  It's tedious and boring and makes me want to rip my eyes out by the end of the day.  I am not kidding.

I have also been busy playing guitar hero.  I am serious.  The kidlet and I rock out on it.  I have to say one of the coolest things about this game is that my son is learning to enjoy a ton of songs that are three and four times as old as he is!  HA HA HA!  The other day, we were in the car and "Barracuda" came on and he was like "OMG, BARRACUDA!"  and he started singing along...that's uber cool.  He has also taken a liking to Poison and Guns N Roses...yay!  He's also getting rather good at the game.  I still suck.  Well, I should say, I suck at it the more I play.  I can't figure it out, but whatever.  It's fun and I feel like a rock star when I play.

Gee, what else has been keeping me busy.  Oh yeah, being lazy.  LOL!  I am serious.  Saturday, I totally didn't get out of my pajamas all day and laid in bed most of the day watching movies.  Sunday, I got up super early and did a ton of stuff around the house before the kidlet awoke.  Then we took a walk and got some fresh air.  It was nice.

The kidlet made me laugh really hard last night.  He comes running in my room with a magazine.  He apparently was reading said magazine and he looks at me and in a dead serious voice he says, "I really need to start reading these and not just look at the pictures!".  I lost it.  I am not sure if you will find that as funny as I did, maybe you had to be there.  But, the look on his face was so funny and...well...ok, maybe it wasn't really that funny, but he had me in stitches.

There's more, but that's all I can think of right now.  I have been reviewing accounts all day and my brain is mush...

Last night as we passed the Navy Yard on 95 on the way to the game, the kidlet was oohing and aahing about the ships.  Then, he says to me in the most serious voice:

"Mom, how do they float?"

me:  "Uh, they just do, they build them to float."

kidlet: "But they weigh like five million pounds.  I don't weigh anywhere near that and I can't even float."

LMAO.  Ok, maybe it isn't funny to you, but it cracked me up.  It's true, he can't float.  Try as he might, he just can't.  The bugger can swim like a damn fish, but he can't float. 

My day was crazy and I didn't get a chance to come back to post, so deal...heh.

Ok, so after work I had to jet to the 'rents, get the kidlet (who was as excited to see me as I was him!), jet home, get changed and jet up to the soccer field (notice I have a new verb, it's "jet") for the first of 2 soccer practices tonight by 5:30.  Aghhhhhhh!  I made it by the skin of my teeth. 

Got up on the field and was deeeeelighted to see a bunch of kids from the spring and couple from last fall and some new friends too, I got lots of hugs and I am so happy.  I have missed soccer and didn't realize how much until tonight.

So, then, we had to climb up this big ass hill to get to the second practice, which we then found out, had been cancelled...but it's all good.

So then we came home, and I started dinner and then realized that the damn football game was already started...grrrrrr.  Anyhizzle, I turned it on and now I am watching and blogging. 

It's the 3rd quarter and my Iggles are losing right now, which doesn't really make me happy, but it is pre-season after all. 

Oh, funny story...on the way home from soccer, the kidlet was in the backseat listening to my MP3 player.  He was listening to Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, I Love Rock 'n' Roll.  He's back there singing his little heart out...poor thing can't carry a tune in a bucket, but he sings anway.  So, all of a sudden, I hear him belt out "put another dime in the juicebox baby" and I lost it.  He saw me laughing, paused the music, took the earphone out of his ear and looked at me and said, "What??"  I said, it's not "juicebox" it's "jukebox" and he says, "Did you just say 'Jew box'?".  I said "Noooooooooooo!, JUKEBOX..you know, when you put money in it and play music."  He's all, "Ohhhhhhhh, I thought you said 'Jew box'."  OY VEY! 

Outta the mouth of babes...

OMG, Japanese twins. 

LMAO!

Kidlet:  Mom, how long do dogs live?

Me:  Depends.

Kidlet:  Why?

Me:  Because 1 year to us is 7 years to a dog.

Kidlet:  So that means if I was a dog I would be almost 56?

Me:  Yep.

Kidlet:  Man, if you were a dog, you'd probably be dead.

I stifled my giggles and asked him why he wanted to know and he said he just wondered when he was gonna get armpit hairs!  LMFAO!  OMG, the conversations we have.  He effing cracks me up. 

I am covered in mosquito bites today.  Last night prior to the puberty convo, the kidlet and I were working in our back yard cutting down this incredibly invasive and overgrown vine.  Well, I was working he was mostly just watching.  Anyway, there were a buttload of mosquitoes and I got all kinds of bit up.  Ick.  I also look like I've been beaten.  I have bruises I didn't have yesterday.  I also have a cut on my knee that I got weedwhacking.  I should've put on long pants to do it and didn't and a rock or something sharp got flung into my knee...owie.  That'll learn me (probably not).

Time for me to get crackalackin'

That's what the kidlet asked me last night.  I haven't a clue where that came from.  Outta nowhere, apparently.  I am not even sure how the hell we got on the subject of worms, butts or worm butts. 

I had to google to see what the answer was and I found out they don't have butts, just an opening so they can poop.  Ew. 

He's so random.

I've been surfing the 'net trying to find something that fits what I want and I have found a couple things that interest me.  I am going to print out what I like and try to have the elements of what I like combined into one that suits.  I can't wait to get it done, I am so excited.  Now I just need to decide who is going to do the work.  Oh, and I need someone to hold my hand...any volunteers?  Heather?? :)

The kidlet and I went to dinner and had a blast.  During dinner, the kidlet and I were chatting and I took a bite out of an appetizer and he looks at me and says all dead serious like "Mom, I don't mean to be mean or anything, but you really have a big piehole".  LMAO!  Out of the mouths of babes...

 After we were done eating, we went back into the gameroom and had a buttload of fun.  I played mo-cap boxing and oy vey, are my arms tired!  I totally took out some major aggression on that friggin' thing and "knocked out" two guys.  I need that in my house.  Either that or a Wii.  I am pretty sure that my entire body is going to be in agony tomorrow.  I've played that boxing game before and was a hurting puppy for a couple days after. 

Prior to dinner, the kidlet's friend called and invited him to come spend the night tonight and tomorrow night and he was thrilled and I am happy to have a little break. 

 LMAO!  Good times.