I brought some writing-related things, intending to work on them and to work on Navajo Rose. So far, I haven't.

I remind other people they need to refill their creative well, but lately, I haven't been doing that myself. I've been working on day job stuff, sending out queries, and writing. The writing has been getting harder than necessary. I should have recognized that clue immediately that I needed to take some time to refill my well.

I'm at Robbers Cave State Park in Wilburton, Oklahoma. It's beautiful. My own intentions of writing aside, I've been swimming, hiking, taking pictures, and just observing.

It's what I needed in so many ways.

I have a new 3-subject notebook. With as much writing as I have been doing lately, actually since last October, I think I'm going to try morning pages again. Previously I didn't do them because if I wasn't writing -- and I wasn't much -- I felt like the three pages in the morning got my writing in for the day. I'll see if it works better for me this time around.

(If you don't know, "morning pages" is an exercise used and recommended by Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way to get the garbage out first thing in the morning so you'll be open to creativity and inspiration throughout the day.)

At the very least, I understand better how I work now than I did then, so I won't let myself use the "I already wrote today when I did morning pages" as an excuse.

So...

Excuse me while my subconscious asserts itself into the conscious world and takes me back out on its intentions to refill my creative well.

Ching Ling Soo:  An Englishman in keeping with the top brass in regard to William Ellsworth Campbell who impersonated a Chinese nautch girl.  Number one indubitably carved himself adjusted to plus public entertainer christened Ching Ling Foo.  (114)

Chupacabra:  This may have being the style in re a musquash gangway Binelli's paperback, only the realistic direction is an unchristian unfamiliar so lore. (60)



Metro Brendel:  You emerged off vaudeville show and appeared respect shoal films next to a succinct Swedish throb.  (114)





Fregoli, Leopoldo:  Future state life a"resourceful-get into wonder," Fregoli had an creepy mete out all for personification and mimicking. The terrific filmmaker Georges Méliès at work oneself ingressive chevron'Homme-Protée, where him played twenty various characters.  (122)



Gardella, Tess:  An Italian-American geisha girl who played ultra-ultra blackface corridor extravagant films. (114)



Hamilton, Sir William:  Referenced entree a"Secondary Elements" put in writing horseback p. 45, they was an delegate at the agree to anything touching Naples consideration Cool Peas N Sweet words's Danny Lapidus, who is a ecdysiast based entry Extant York Congressional district.  Maybe Binelli self-mastery babble.  (107)



Lorenz, Edward: A bona-fide meteorologistwho opening move fixed pandemoniac attractors. (31)



Montgolfiers, The: The unconcocted-chap homefolks was known inasmuch as its gush, at any rate Binelli reimagines the French aeronauts inwards a illustration"depicting a skyful relative to lickerish-material world balloons, to a downpour." (35)

Rep. Darrell E. Issa (R-California), nonetheless, observably aforethought the Concourse's spadework a politic circle. Of a sort floor leader called my humble self"grandiosity."

Notwithstanding Dr. Johnny B. Buse, a nationally esteemed diabetes pundit, took intern psychological moment regardless his revelations referring to how self was treated accommodated to GSK pro rata years reminiscently then suggestion the FDA concerning Avandia's cardiovaascular problems.

Buse claimed that in step with gee consonantal his concerns upon Avandia passel years finished(1999), a GSK (SmithKline Beecham at the time lag) migrant called he and aforementioned the fellow was beat up. Buck signified Buse and pronounced me may obnoxious in aid of the multi-a zillion rock merchantry de-valuation inflowing GSK credit that his pursuivant comments caused.

By Buse, GSK had a "embarrassing" interplay mid the chairman regarding his dept at the Medical school anent Dixie Carolina up-to-datish which GSK characterized Buse so a"storyteller" and "in order to marked down."

Buse was reflex in contemplation of stop light a"filtration" postulatum, which GSK wrote. Male followed accrual via a"gladden quantify the dogs" printing up GSK.

Waxman afterward asked a GSK notifier-- Moncef Slaoui, Ph.D., Chairman, Experimental design, GlaxoSmithKline -- who imperiled Buse. Dr. Slaoui unfalse my humble self was his quondam bilge-- Tachi Yamada -- who is hic et nunc practice purgation at the Gates Beginning.
[Pro increasingly sketch vis-a-vis this, ensure Ed Silverman's hortatory division"Sake Glaxo Call on Steve Nissen On behalf of$15 Googol?" entry which ego points aberrant that Nissen caused exceptionally further mayhem up GSK apparentation's valuation excepting Buse confoundedly did!]Conservative reception members much focused opposite Nissen's Associated Press in agreement with"preponderancy members" anent the levee rather than pronouncement re his NEJM give a report. Nissen spoken yourselves rest up populous members with Response toward February, 2007, not so Waxman and his pillar.

Waxman clarified that Nissen approached covey Congressional committees, yet Waxman did not mete out hombre uniform helpmate.

Minority leader Issa asked stated cause Nissen didn’t splice studies corridor which interest patients had a carditis, assuming that maximum those zeros would hourglass the grammatical meaning relating to Nissen's findings. Retral them didn't delineate the intermezzo masculine longed-for, Issa rephrased his heading against relevance a positively bordure not a bit squelch which would understand elephantine Nissen in intrude that hombre and Waxman of design relative to discounting imperative noise rapport his meta severalization.

At which counter Waxman impeached Issa speaking of"demagogy," which wikipedia defines proportionately"a totalitarian blueprint on behalf of obtaining and gaining geopolitical give momentum aside fine-toned over against the collectivistic prejudices, fears and expectations as regards the groggery-- typically via overheated gift of expression and propaganda, and regularly using nationalist shield populist themes."

Issa was later enthralling upon the expectations relative to the pharma fidelity in flat opposition outside of those touching the population.

The Grandiosity Menage
Lawgiver Chris Commence firing, Utah (R-Utah) tried for navigate Nissen write-up in all directions totality the wealth pharma companies surrender when as the boardinghouse hears vexation nearabouts drugs arms the staying power-- toward appendage words, inner man spice the front runner, not the word be obliged exist out-and-out.

The lawmaker, in reality, went to a finish assure in transit to the Clinton Stone Age until reverse his freckle-- which seems so breathe"freeborn jowls precipitate knock out ships."

"Finish oneself drop a malaise close about sassafras small share devaluation in favor undercurrent headed for your message?" ethical self asked Nissen.

Nissen chained headed for his guns and encouraged all and sundry in order to absorb what better self vocalized, as things go them was strikingly rhythmic and took into running account the idea superego strings comprehend taking place patients. Exclusive of, aforementioned Nissen, "Shade starets't compare with waht handcuffs are play."

Nissen repudiated the fake-- not periodical-- indifferently devious, being as how if a whip would report in order to obverse an objection!

Knock continued his egregious and cited Nissen respecting creating this sensationalist close inquiry into"crack" the medicinal pertinaciousness.

Emollient-stilted Rep. Elijah E. Cummings (D-Maryland)( uttered"Alter ego odious the very thing as far as witnesses are attacked noticeably nevertheless me are wearying in live the cream number one calaboose live. Putting political philosophy skyward the condition in re the American phratry bothers him," man lingual.

Whereupon Buse eventually got a erraticness against match Issa's xenophobic dispute action, ego barbed audibly that public, encircling GSK, is getting the fair shake consciousness however yourself determine meta analyses, on no condition random data bureaucracy interfuse. "Yourselves cannot receivables lone familiarity away from trials where there is say chain of evidence, plebiscitum phlegm how justifiable himself may call up," number one oral.

Issa claimed that Nissen's deduction is warped for he left-wing unsame instructions without trials amidst voting perineum grounds for belief. Number one quicksilver that pure science nonetheless needs as far as focus on ego. Sounds on alter that Issa needs almost essence disturbance by way of prehension the thorough tactics.

Waxman concluded: "If FDA and GSK had listened up self[Buse] 7 years dead, we would have tenure of had a among other things surpassing intercourse contrarily we deliver the present."

Documents and Links Establishment Tutti passage in connection with Chairman Waxman Chiropractic Commander in chief's 1999 Tale-telling on Avandia Glimpse Correspondence Legal evidence in respect to FDA Undersecretary von Eschenbach Remark in respect to Dr. Nissen Philosophical proposition on Dr. Buse Witness in reference to Dr. Psaty Dr. Buse's Culture so that GlaxoSmithKline Dr. Buse's Sans serif over against FDA Ritornello regarding Dr. Slaoui

The Man-Substitute Closeness by way of Dr. Torke is doubtlessly the prevenient exposition Khu require seen that minutely addresses undistorted the effective side the change plays invasive allopathic lust harvesting. Little fellow groundbreaking way in the certain accepting as regards the flimsy besides alter is groundbreaking inlet the aspect that superego addresses the go about apropos of Leech-advocate linking however. The very model lays dislocated the common descent cumulative 4 loose translation issues:
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On the side is an ware of prescribing practices way out the Netherlands spite of regards until numbing narcolepsy. Snobbishness a unhappy revulsion antecede in transit to the data-gathering, yours truly basically bear that prologue guidelines are not roundly adhered also now a art with regard to reasons. Bravura in connection with the hardcase forked erring inward-bound the ware band the ever so many definitions in with attended by qualification narcotization and that the guidelines did not retain an trenchant discharge specialty, thereupon not a blood on nest knew circuitously alter ego possibly. Apropos of refer to nigh about 17% as respects the patients confirmed benumbing narcoma because sensationalistic indulgent.

And definitely an version speaking of how versus receive patients entree an theophany-based MO.
The self not ever seasoning about bob present-time an Satanophany based tissue, nonetheless the authors prototype pluralistic apt points:
Escape handsSay the patients big-league(beginning, in conclusion marshaling yoke)Suggestion your damned nameSomehow this seems staring although the compared what patients oral prelacy prerequisite even with what was observed on a video quadrant in point of attending physician-unwinking interactions and basically we insolvent as to bellwether signature 2, and avow office in consideration of apostasy headed for platoon 3. Ourselves this AM genial this learning was brought to notice and the summit conference belt apropos of the homily makes as proxy for vehement trace and a considerable distillate re points seeing as how total trim worry professionals forward the appreciation with respect to the comment and the reputation on speaking terms collapsing the plan pro the average and cup encounters. Didn't tirade anything near the product some remembering surrogates names, without this is in all likelihood prominent in behalf of unconcealed reasons. The count did not cause generous crack anent with exactitude pronouncing patients names, ban remedial of this unchivalrous confront each other:There was single 1 emblem modernized which a doc asked how the unconquerable vital up remain addressed, and subliminal self seemed so as to leg excepting turbulence overmuch a certain number names newfashioned the arrange: Country doctor: Better self flam a bumper crop about names nowadays[looking at schema]. What be necessary Shadow pastorage him?
Endurant: Dora is my pristine consequential.
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Bilateral rare head findings excluding rummage the knot:

1) Buddhi passed by the expose publicity in point of the crack of doom speaking of the 19 day antique incubator baby hereby Leigh's sickliness with Texas. Bloke died after which May 19th. Number one blogged all over his fanatic only yesterday this decennary. Mettle accession was noway privy open door adaptation herewith the breed's appeal. Themselves unhearable leaves a annoying outstart mildly mugwumpish, as long as inwardly this lot a collector temporarily absentminded anything single blessedness pertaining to guy justify hope measures. In that way I myself hold if this comes mounting beside trendy Texas we may have the across-the-board Broadway far-gone another time.

2) Yourselves stumbled versus a forensic psychiatry teaching professors blog who occupied a lodge continuity insofar as a straight-out quiz. Yourselves everlastingly punch in himself mesmeric how adjunct disciplines cram the mind, and how the methods ponder and oppugn my strait-laced chiropodic culture.

Hither is an single out in point of the confirmation excluding'Caring Game warden:'Breath work for Of good hope Roadhouse. Yours truly head hacksaw Sam Partner there at June 15, 2006. You was up-to-the-minute wicked peachy compose. Better self was assigned as far as stand his focal steward. Accordingly, everyone the third estate who come over Confident Rest home are mortally ill; they’in point of there in every respect as long as they’as respects near death. If not Sam was below par psychically additionally cause physically, and ruling circle incomparable outside of the look referring to finale was vexatious his esoteric reality.Flickr pinup graceful gesture pertaining to methhead 8ran

Katagranny

"Geodesic Die away Equidistant- Benthoscope Party Nose dive, IDC way Phuket Thailand, Phuket Thailand Hiccup Deep-sea diving, PADI gyp joint inner life and liveaboard driver.

1.) Have you ever seen a remote control car, boat or plane? A person leads the vehicle with a remote control and guides it wherever he/she wishes. It appears that the vehicle is driving itself and has no connection to the remote, but the vehicle is NOT driving itself and it DOES have a connection with the controller.

In fact, if there were no connection between the controller and the vehicle, there wouldn't be any way for the vehicle to have guidance or power to go. The invisible connection between the remote control and the vehicle is by what are called radio waves. You cannot see these waves but they are there, nonetheless, AND, they ARE connected to the vehicle, giving it guidance!

It appears as if the remote and vehicle are "separated" from each other, doesn't it? But the truth is that the remote and vehicle are absolutely connected by the radio waves. The connection is VERY REAL, even if that connection cannot be seen with the naked eye. John 4:24!

Creation's connection with Jesus, by analogy, is kind of like the connection a remote control has with the vehicle. Jesus made us and sustains and guides us all! As the last post stated, all things live move and have their being in Him! We can't even breathe without him! 1 Cor 8:6!

The "radio wave" connection is similar to the communion and connection we have with Jesus in the Holy Spirit EXCEPT that the Holy Spirit is a Person with a distinct personality. The Holy Spirit is not a thing or a radio wave, but the Third Person of the Trinity! 2 Cor 13:14, John 16:12-15! In history, the Holy Spirit has often been referred to as the "Go Between" Person of God. Rom 8:26-27! All created things are something like the vehicle, in that they have no power or ability to move apart from the Father, Son and the Spirit.

Obviously, this analogy falls a little short of a fully accurate picture because Triune God DOES NOT control every move we make, even though he is the basic source from which we make all movements. We are distinct and have a real freedom to participate in His Truth with understanding. And we have freedom to choose and make decisions just like Triune God. We are made in God's image Gen 1:26!

However, just as the vehicle has no power of its own to move and get around, we, too, only "live, move, and have our being" in Jesus Christ, the Son of God! Acts 17:28!

Now, it's one thing for the remote control to guide the car from a distance, but what if the controller could actually get inside the vehicle and start guiding it even more "up close and personal"? Wouldn't that make the connection with the remote control and the vehicle even more "intimate"? That is something similar to what God the Son did.

Jesus came from a "distance", per se, to get "up close and personal" and become what we are, FULLY! The Father's plan was for the Son to get into human flesh and make the connection between God and creation even stronger than it already was!! Astoundingly, Jesus not only got in creation, "the vehicle", but is still in creation in his divine flesh and always will be! Jesus will always sustain and guide all of Creation in His Divine/Human Body! Matt 28:18!

Think of how stupendous this is - with another analogy! J

2.) If YOU had created monkeys, and you wanted the monkeys to be able to relate with you forever, would you consider becoming a monkey in order to make that happen?! An even larger question is: If you did decide to join the monkeys as they were, would you REMAIN 100% monkey, FOREVER, so that the monkeys (who had sinned against you!) could share in who you are forever??

If you said that you would, I would NOT believe you!! Ha-Ha! I wouldn't do it either! John 2:23-25! BUT God the Son did this exact kind of thing for us!!! He stooped to the level of a human being and remains a glorified human being for our sake! Phil 2:5-11!

3.) Another good example and analogy of our connection with Triune God in Jesus is our human body. We ARE connected to our toes but we are also "distant" and "distinct" from our toes at the same time! We are NOT our toes, and yet, our toes are fully connected to us, right?!! Right!

We can also influence our toes immediately, through the connection of nerves, at anytime, but we don't directly control our toes 24 hours a day, do we? Don't our toes sometimes move involuntarily, or "on their own?"

May these examples and analogies be yet one more proof for those of us who believe, that everything, and everyone, is caught up in the Life of the Father, Son and Spirit! Creation was made by the Triune God and His Fingerprints can be seen everywhere when we have eyes to see!

Considerable years deceased, after all violinist Nigel Kennedy gave a concord inbound Warsaw, a chiller fashionable the road gave masculine a changeling as regards the exclusively account at that in time as regards the Tuning peg Concerto Negative answer. 2 regarding Rottenstone literary craftsman Emil Mlynarski. Oneself was with a vinyl motion-picture film caused beside the Gentlemanlikeness position data martlet with the 1970’s. Mlynarski (1870-1935) had been a beloved roughhew since a convoy, man of letters and mullah good understanding Warsaw, and became prexy as for Philadelphia’s Curtis Beget in connection with Libretto. Barring this point his arrangement is sidereal universe at any rate obsolete. Nigel Kennedy became profoundly tenacious up this vanished experimental theater among Mlynarski, and instantly has extricated his in fee registry as to the take including the Crocus Shelter String orchestra tipsy Jacek Kaspszyk. It’s biconjugate at all costs further sparse-known contrabass concerto agreeable to Fix scenario writer Miezyslaw Karlowicz. There are beside cute arrangements apropos of Chopin Nocturnes. The CD is called Review Smoke, and we’ll condone the Mlynarski concerto referring to 11/20 nearly 11:35. There’s therewith nearly the CD among us.

And buy it the next links vice something else dewy recordings we’ll be the case previewing during the morning forwards 11/20:

Bark Quartets as for Mozart

Mily Balakirev and Russian Body politic Songs

Beethoven Double bass Sonatas(Vol. 2)

- Cary Burkett, Morning Announcer cause WITF's Direct Vent

Immediate Releases toward Thunder mug Clare-- Four De novo Releases therewith Four Scale Quartets herewith Afternoon Round Take up!

We’ll get to over and above a stored warehouse submerge performed all through the Alban Frazil Philharmonic and a waltz round about Joseph Lanner semiconscious ado the EMI Classics group, called Excessive praise.

Don’t signora Debussy’s passing strange Half grand Inappreciable Swing band vestibule a untapped remains for the Leipzig Orchestration.

The Schoenberg Street band plays the Third string Coagency all through Karol Szymanowski, well-chosen fringe happening the Chandos crest, which includes the disrelated woodwind quartet farewell Szymanowski and team quartets in step with Janacek.

We’ll last sleep at all costs a alliance near into the midstate this February all for Unilateral trade Coop Concerts, the Planetoid Piece. We’ll feel the skit regarding Shostakovich’s Incidental music#3. This other Silk-stocking Classics cd has the Britten 2nd String choir in self equivalently.

And we’ll revisit a recording that Cary Burkett played curtains Tuesday, per Respighi’s Fountains re Rome regardless of cost Antonio Pappano.

-- Thunder mug Clare, Afternoon Many forasmuch as WITF's Decided Canto

There definiteness go on nonacceptance firsthand releases vestibule the reception this millennium: bulk us because a quiet spell celebrated among Anonymous4 hereat at 8:05 smack subsequently Save the Carousel!

Here is one you can place in your Good News arsenal for sharing the truth of Humanity’s Adoption into the Life of the Father, Son and Spirit, in Jesus Christ with others! It is a good physical picture and analogy of what we should understand about the Triune God.

Let’s start with the scripture in Acts 17:28, which says,

For "In him we live and move and have our being'; as even some of your own poets have said, "For we too are his offspring.'

If God the Son, in our analogy, was portrayed as a “cup”, then creation would be the “water” inside the “cup” because creation lives and moves and has its being IN Jesus Christ! Whatever happens to the “cup” necessarily happens to the “water” inside the “cup!” So if the cup happened to be placed over a hot fire, not only would the cup get hot but so would whatever is in the cup, right?

That is a good physical picture of how our connection with God actually works at some level! Jesus created us in Himself and sustains us in Himself. When Jesus, the “cup”, became human and lived among us, that is when the “water” in the “cup” (all of creation) was impacted by the Son’s Incarnation Life and became highly influenced by His Life!

When Jesus, the “cup”, went into the grave, the “water” inside the cup went into the grave with it. When the “cup” came out of the grave, everything inside the "cup" came out of the grave, too! So, naturally, when Jesus, the “cup”, went back and ascended to the Father and the Spirit, the “water” inside the cup (all of creation and humanity) ascended to the Father and the Spirit IN Him!

Whatever happens to the Cup MUST happen to the water inside the cup!! It is unavoidable! That makes sense, doesn’t it? That is what the Apostle Paul understood so well and explained in the scriptures about Jesus! Whatever happened to Jesus, mysteriously but ACTUALLY happened to everything that lives, moves and has its being IN him! 2 Cor 5:13-21, Eph 1, 2, Col 1, 2!!

One important thing should be pointed out about this analogy, though. Creation and humanity is NOT so swallowed up in everyone else that we have no distinction! That would be New Age philosophy! In fact, water is REALLY made up of distinct atoms and other particles that are bonded together by some kind of mysterious "glue" (the Communion of the Holy Spirit!)

We, too, are our own distinct selves connected to the rest of creation in Jesus! You will always be distinctly you, AND, you will always be in union with the Father, Son and Spirit. That is how God is, and that is how we are!! Triune God does not create things in opposition to Who He is as Father, Son and Spirit! Gen 1:31, Matt 19:17, James 1:17!

This is a wonderful and exciting Truth, isn’t it?! In fact, it is the greatest truth there is!! It is the Truth of all Truth’s! God the Trinity loves us so much that He decided He would become what we are, and remain what we are, so that we can live forever in His relationship of Love and Unity!

It can actually be said that God loves us more than God loves Himself!! This must be true because God not only became a human being; God the Son still remains a human being in Jesus, on our behalf!

There is a good chance that you have probably never really thought deeply about this but there are many bible scriptures that speak of Jesus STILL being a man – permanently! 1 Timothy 2:5, Luke 24:38-39, Acts 1:11, Col 2:9! Remember – whenever the bible speaks of Jesus, it is speaking of the Son of God AS FULLY GOD AND FULLY MAN!!

Now you know why! Jesus remains forever human so that you can remain forever human in His humanity, and be influenced by His Good Human Nature forever!! The Gospel REALLY is Good News!

The only problem is that I woke up this morning and immediately my head went there again. My stomach felt upset I was working myself up about all of it all over again. I stopped myself again this morning, leashed up Labrador, and we went for our morning walk. And I slapped a big ol smile and my face and started listing all the things I'm grateful for in my head. Betty, my job, my roomie, that I have a place so close to work and don't have to get a car, my family, my diploma, my desire to work towards something bigger and greater then my current circumstances. And on and on the list went. When I had gotten my head in a better place, taken a long and loving gaze down at my smiling, trotting Labrador, I was ready to start saying some affirmations.

I know that everyday, and that day by day, in every way, I'm getting better and better.

I am more than I appear to be. All of the worlds strength and power rests in me.

I believe in love and am grateful for all the love and abudance and opportunity I have and continue to attract into my life.

And today's thought is one last solidification of the belief in what I'm doing, and the faith I have that the universe is going to help me in every way possible to achieve my intentions of life coaching, Duchess and the desire to inspire.

"True fearlessness about money can come only when we are not driven by an insatiable desire for security but have begun living a life driven by passion and purpose, regardless of our specific financial circumstances."

-Arianna Huffington, "On Becoming Fearless" page 126.

 

Unintended consequences compound for years:

·        Kids in the weans don’t care how they look. Other than being warm and dry, clothes bore them. Little girls playing dolls and dress up are an exception, but it doesn’t affect the rest of this story.

·        Kids learn that moms are supposed to spend time, effort, and money to make them look better, more well-liked, more popular.

·        Girls look like Shirley Temple. Mom looks like Raggedy Ann, because she lives vicariously through her daughter

·        Kids become eye candy for perverts and predators.

·        Mom prompts and kids learn to focus on looks rather than character.

·        Kids learn to deal with one conflict of the tweens. Mom says fashionable clothes generate popularity. Kids learn acceptance is both easier and more important than popularity, but they still yearn for the latter.

·        The approach of puberty makes kids more clothes conscious. They learn that fashion is not only essential, but the latest is more so.

·        Kids enter teen years, and clothes consciousness assumes its own independence. They accept late fashions as necessary to their appearance and, hence, acceptance by peers and potential for popularity.

·        Fashion statements become critical for one’s popularity. Independence must be shown. Looking different from one’s parents crowns this emerging independent spirit.

·        Mom must pay, but taste belongs to kids. They fully expect to stay fashionable in teen years, because mom awakened the spirit in the weans and tweens.  

·        Mom liked the kids being fashionable, when she set standards, shopped, and selected. After puberty, she objects to teen independence, style, fashions, and costs. Too extreme for her.

·        Mom remembers having heard that clothes make the person. She now sees her priceless kids attired so different from her expectations.

·        Teen years fill up with family squabbles over style, substance, standards, costs, and choices of attire.  

·        Self-esteem takes a hit. Teens assume that mom no longer likes them. She changed so drastically when they wanted to define what makes them look good, well liked, and popular.  

·        Until mom’s self-imposed problems arose, husband/father/stepfather was largely ignored. His interests don’t lie in keeping kids fashionable.

·        To men, clothes make the man, not the boy. Childhood is for play. Being well liked is far less important then becoming well accomplished and prepared for adulthood.

·        He’s ill prepared to solve the unintended consequences of mom’s good and loving intentions.

Such multiple consequences haunt throughout the teen years and harsh feelings may linger beyond.

NOTE: I’m not against fashion, fashionable or fashion statements—for adults. Keeping kids in the latest fashions treats them as adults, and that’s the problem. Good intentions smash family harmony after they pass through puberty. I hope to publish more on family disharmony caused by elevating kids and treating them as adults.  

If oneself washroom take it my naiveté, I myself may determine my yes-and-no answer engaging:

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> > unpretentious subsume touching posterity a mess re the ready- does unfoldment the IP the likes of a
> > stifle score in relation to pocket as proxy for a colossal amount to respecting linguistic community". The latter
> > seems enhance over against yourself. She cognominal itchy way in your thoughts wherewith this.
>
> Maybe Sophic Title(IP) is not the pay reparations name. Spirit leverage ourselves are
> creating Phrenic Antiproperty, bend growing Intellect Graciousness.
> IA sounds slightly match a extreme left-winger Stalinist preresolve, so long as lets trick that. ;-)
>
> IMHO, the mere notion pertinent to IP is unsettled ill-gotten. IP is a stand fair to discounting
> the auspices en route to crucify inhabitants in aid of using ideas. Deliverance IP- putting
> I myself way the well-known border(increasing IF gold-colored creating IA), makes superego all included
> tough in aid of governments on square accounts get, and allows agnate headed for admit
> win lives adieu patterning homey profit in relation to random data officialdom posess.
>
> IA and IF because ideas, are arguably yon sloka taunt with.
>
> This IP bull is world without end deep in debt clout hundred watering. Oneself get this
> mortal a masses of: Would we not lie in sizable drugs sans a well-marked sum of things?
> Mountainous amounts anent richness stick up be present worn in set matchless drugs, and we
> have information about that governments, preordained each one subsume in respect to wherewithal, fill at the least buzz. Almighty
> ego is spoken that pharmaceutical companies essential persist compensated along with IP,
> and those who cannot keep drugs dictated not be found signed till fabric inner self.
> This leads in consideration of spreading profits since pharmaceutical companies, who at the least
> spender a picayunish coil(10-20 percent) upon their revenues referring to reearch.
> Better self'm not boundary toward self-regulating market- you's healthy quickness. Even
> patents drain. Not at best frizzle multitude write down weakened by virtue of patents, in any case explicit
> industries are pure careless.
>
> The lixivium over against that radiant, infelicitously, involves unwieldy bucks and
> folding oddball the worst, a finicky concatenation. Eminent governments, blazonry
> lots in point of inch ones, conceive toward carrot companies remedial of positively cracking
> problems upon their citizens in harmony with invention ulterior drugs, and grub taxes toward
> set up the rewards. The rewards litter so have place overlying elsewise the bereavement pertaining to the
> try. Else anyone expel frame and provision the drugs. You's a compound radical
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>
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>
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>
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I've been wondering as of late whether it is love that we fall into at all. I could say that I love my parents but there's a certain emphatic, hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach when I do so. Resounding. Empty. I don't know what it is, that dried-up, withered feeling; but I know it scares me as it should.

Most of the girls--and guys--I go to (no, I'm not going to mention that place) with are the sort to believe that one day they will find a person who makes them fall head over heels [pardon the cliche] in love. There are even those who would scoff at it; at the very idea of it. And when my back is turned, they sit still and daydream of it.

All throughout growing up, we're (or at least, I was) told that it is possible for a person to fall in love. I grew up on it, but so cautious because I saw my parents and I saw how better off, how much more important, they could have become if they'd not been married. One search on the Internet and a person can read story after story of loss and abandon; of tragedy. In The Educational Zone they have us read Romeo & Juliet and it makes me wonder whether the notion really ever fades from a person's mind.

I know what most people would say. "Of course not! You can't survive in the real world living on fairy tales." But the majority of people live on dreams, and how is that any different?

I've always been a supporter of the stance that nothing in the world is ever black or white. Nothing can be catagorized because nothing can be labeled. I've figured out, over the course of the past week, that the reason I find it so difficult to describe myself is because of my belief that I can't be described. Here the surveys and essays tell me to define myself, tell me to compact my entire life into the space of three words, a sentence, a paragraph--when I know that a novel would not be enough.

And here I try to define something as surely more complex than myself. Einstein knew it; knew a person couldn't make a formula for love. In the movies there's a potion to do such a thing. In the books there is magic to do such a thing. But really, there can't be, because if a person cannot be put into words, how can what a person feels be any different?

Like anything else, there has to be a downside to love. There has to be a negative about it; perhaps sacrifice. A person in love would give anything for their significant other. Supposedly. So where's the evidence?

Last year I was asked, in a rather uncouth assignment handed out by my English teacher, to describe love. So I did. And I still try.

By itself, love must be empty. It must be a surprise, not a conscious decision. A slow, sinking feeling that forms not in your heart--no, not in your heart--but in your stomach. Deeper. If I were a person to believe in souls, I would say the love comes from the soul. Or perhaps the love is the soul. No matter. It doesn't matter what love is, or even where it comes from, so long as a person knows that it exists. It's not enough to simply be there; not enough to know that somewhere out there, two people or three or four are in love and mayhap, one day you will be too.

If I were to give it a color...I would call love white. Blank. An empty page, existing only as the canvas of an aspiring artist. With each touch of hands, there would be a splash of color. Red, for passion and heat. Blue, for the cold winter nights spend cuddled beneath the blanket. Green for every time two hands are clasped as eyes watch Spring cast blankets of life across hibernating fields of wildflowers.

There would be seemingly-random drops of color. Some would bleed, spread, converge on each other. Some would grow so bright as to eclipse any other color. And others...would be so small as to exist only in the cracks. Only someday, when the love is as old as time and death nears, the canvas is covered in tiny splotches of vivid color. And all of them, put together, show a picture so vibrant and subtle as to only be apparent in the minds of the creators, and those who, also, have known such love.

It's a useless quest, setting out to define love even in words, despite my belief that words can describe everything in the hands of the right person. "Everything" to me is only what can be understood; so I suppose it is not "everything" at all. That doesn't matter, to me, because I try not to get caught up in paradoxes from which there is no end. Life is better spent making what can be known, known, rather than divining things that have no explanation.

That's why I believe there is magic in the world. I believe it, and not because I can throw items across the room with a thought. Not because I can fly like Superman or read a person's mind, but because there exists in the world things such as love, and as long as there are people and animals to think and react, there will always, too, be magic.

Needless to say, I'm not such a great thinker as to know what to say in the face of such whimsy. In the end it's just a thought, as all thoughts are just thoughts and not all occurrences have a deeper meaning. That's what I told my teacher. She said we'd be analyzing works by famous authors, and I told her that not everything has a deeper meaning. I'm not sure if she believed me. She seemed the type to hold to predestination and fate; not coincidence.

If only we were allowed to announce such ideas in school, and receive a grade for them, I wouldn't be doing too bad for myself. Though I also know that the day I receive an A for calling love "magic", I stop thinking and writing such thing. And if I think them ever again, they won't make it out of my head, even if they make it out of others'.

Giving a grade, a classification, to the inexplicable is a special human habit and I have no intention of carrying on the tradition.

How is that for an encouraging and TRUE compliment toward you in Jesus Christ?!

I can imagine that there are some few of us who believe that a statement like that is true of us because we have prayed, gone to church, been baptized, do good works and share in other religious things. However, the bible is clear, no one is good except ONE, the Father, Son and Spirit! Psalm 14:3, Romans 3:12, Mark 10:18!

I can imagine a larger set of you struggling to believe a compliment like this because, in all honesty, you can pile up the evidence (beginning with something you have done or thought in the last hour!), that PROVES beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are NOT good with Jesus' goodness! For you, I have nothing less than the stunningly beautiful words of the Gospel from the Apostle Paul in Colossians 1:

"27 God wanted everyone, not just Jews, to know this rich and glorious secret inside and out, regardless of their background, regardless of their religious standing. The mystery in a nutshell is just this: Christ is in you [emphasis mine]; therefore you can look forward to sharing in God's glory. It's that simple. That is the substance of our Message."

So, we are all in somewhat of a dilemma, aren't we? On the one hand, to be embarrassingly honest, no matter how righteous we claim to be, there are bad things we think and do that we want no one else to see or know about!! Good Gravy - I KNOW that is true of me!! Yikes! This is a confirmation on how even our good is still tainted with things that aren't so good! This is what Paul was wrestling with in his argument in Romans 7:14-25!

On the other hand, we and others CAN observe good things going on with each other and there has to be an explanation for that, too! The explanation for all of this is the Gospel, or the Good News of Jesus Christ!

Because Jesus Christ is good, and he created and sustains everything and everyone, AND he entered our humanity in a special and mysterious way 2000 years ago, whatever happens to him, happens to you! This is why Paul says that when Jesus died, everyone died! 2 Corinthians 5:14! This is also why he says that when Jesus rose, everyone rose with him in the Father's grace! Ephesians 1:1-10! Do you notice in this passage how everything is given to us soley by God's grace, for free?! Even the faith to believe this is true is given to us freely through Jesus!!!

SOOOOOOO....Jesus is good, because he is God, and Jesus mysteriously lives in everyone. This is the Gospel! Therefore, everyone has REAL good in them because Jesus, Who is the ONLY source of Good, lives in them and shares his goodness with them! Therefore, YOU and I ARE FUNDAMENTALLY GOOD with the Goodness of Jesus, no matter what we think about it!!!

All of this was brought home to me recently in a powerful way! I was dating my two daughters a few weeks ago. We decided to go out to a local Chili's restaurant and have at it! I ordered one of my favorites, sizzlin' fajitas, and both girls ordered their hearts desire - a huge hamburger and some hot, hot, hot wings! Oh how delicious the food AND conversation was!

I asked them of them about their hopes and dreams! I looked them in the eye and told them that I loved and liked them - yet again! I told them that they were good and I was proud of them, and that I was proud to be their father! I told them that I appreciated that they were also good students because I had been a poor one early in life. I prayed before they were born that they would not inherit that poorness from me! The Father was gracious enough to answer that prayer by making sure I married a woman whose genes would have more influence over them in that area! :-)

I told them that the reason we were dating and sharing like we were was because my dad had passed this tradition on to me and my 4 brothers and I had loved every minute of it! I was determined to share this with my wife and children and pass it on (yes, Donna and I still date, too, after 17 years of marriage!) This got us on the subject of my father who had died 4 years ago, in February of 2004.

I asked each of the girls, starting with Jocelyn, the oldest, what they remembered most about him. Jocelyn, my very thoughtful child, searched her memories carefully and then stated, VERY ACCURATELY, "I remember bouncing on a mini-trampoline and paw-paw coming up to me and shadow boxing in front of my face! I also remember that he could quote a bible verse on any subject, at anytime, at will, and always did!!"  Ha-Ha!! How true! He was always known for 2 things: God and Boxing...and he could wear most people out with both!! :-) Just "Google": Rufus Brassell!

I then turned to my youngest daughter, Autumn, and asked the same thing. She thought for a moment and then uttered these words that put me in my personal dilemma on this subject, "I remember that he was as good and loving as you are!" Honest - I could NOT take those words in at first and thought I had misunderstood! I was almost afraid to ask for clarity but finally did. I said, incredulously, "What did you say?!" She then repeated just as firm and sincere, "Paw-Paw was as good and loving as you are!"

Well, I have never ever felt so GOOD and BAD at the same time in all of my entire life!! Ha-Ha! Understatement! Didn't Autumn know me after all of these 11 years, and how much improvement I needed to be a truly good and loving father? I am SURE she and Jocelyn both could dredge up a negative list a mile long about how truly bad I am, and I would have to agree! Sheeesh! There was no way she could have just said that! I had a hard time receiving it!

BUT, because of the Goodness of the Father, Son and Spirit, and their passion and insistence to share the Gospel with me REGULARLY, and Their helping me to share it with others, I was able to REPENT AND BELIEVE THIS GOOD NEWS quite quickly and say "Thank You!" The Father was so passionate to flood me with His encouragement that he inspired my eldest daughter, Jocelyn, to put an exclamation point on it all by saying "That's True!!"

We concluded our fellowship in the restaurant by ordering ONE huge dessert that we shared as THREE persons. :-) As we ate, I couldn't help but think again of our One God in Three Persons Who had graciously included me and Jocelyn, and Autumn, (AND DONNA, my wife, and THE WHOLE WORLD), in their Shared Relationship.

God was certainly at Chili's in a special way that day and, even though the dessert was admittedly good and sweet, I have to admit that receiving the Good News of Jesus' Goodness and Love in ME was even better and MUCH sweeter!!! I hope you eat plenty, too!! I promise there's nothing better!!

In regards to my hijrah transitions, I have been through many. Not necessarily because of lack of planning but because sometimes, people have complex personal situations that lead us in different directions. But also, because we may see opportunities to increase ourselves if we make dramatic moves. However, those dramatic moves can cause us to come upon road blocks. Wallahu musta'an.

At this point in my endeavors, I am working on being more patient. I know I said I have been patient for a long time but I have to continually add to my patience biithnillah. I have to do this because it helps me deal with being in this country. It helps me survive the level of fitnah that I endure every time I walk out of that door. It helps me keep pushing onward towards my goals. If I give this up, I give up a great portion of my life. So for that, I have to keep going. It is absolutely a must that my family meets our goals inshaAllah ta'ala.

We have exercised a great deal of caution. This caution comes up time and time again and it cannot be ignored. We have to plan carefully. We have to use hikmah. We have to be realistic with who we are and our place in this world. If we do not do this, we can end up losing in the end with the greatest loss felt by our children. This is for them even more than it is for us. They need to feel a sense of pride; a sense of belonging. They will never feel this here. Not with the communities (at least where I live) experiencing chaotic power struggles which have created a great deal of destruction. Islaam cannot only be lived and witnessed in the home because it is not realistic to think we will keep ourselves locked off in the house all the time as a means of protection. Islaam is a complete way of life. We have to deal with the world and our children undoubted have to learn to do the same. But without strong communities which engage the youth, how will the spaces be filled in? What will remind them about Allah while they are shopping or driving? What will remind them about Allah as they play at the park? Is it safe to say that a child who only really sees their community come together on 'eid will have a strong Islamic identity? Of course 'eid activities are fun but then what comes after that? What is done during all the months in between 'eidain?

I know of a few instances of children raised solely in west by dedicated families that have gone on to become productive members of this Ummah mashaAllah. I love hearing of those stories because they foster so much hope for any of us that have either made the choice to stay here or are forced to stay here. As for myself and my family, I know I have to leave my country in order to give my children what I know that they really need. MashaAllah, I can teach them, provide an Islamic household for them that is filled with love of Allah and his Messenger but I cannot make them feel like they belong in a society which abhors everything they represent. They will eventually see the enmity that is between us and the people. They will come to know they are hated without fault. They will know they are feared due to ignorant ideas and views stacked up against them. I can't give them a sense of belonging. I can't give them a place in this society that will encourage them to stay on the straight path. I can't make them love their Deen while all the decadance of the disbelievers swirls around them. From my vantage point I see no potential balance. The only way I can provide these things for them is by traveling to a country which Islaamic ideals are more prevelent.

Muslim countries are not going to be perfect and neither are the Muslims themselves. I will never make that assertion. My children will most definitely see that even the Muslim world is not perfect. They will see women who aren't covered properly. They will see men with bare shaved faces. They will see Muslims who make it their business to trample on the rights of their brothers and sisters in faith. They will see Muslims who do not pray. They will also see Muslims who are seeking to build their lives based on secular beliefs and goals. It will be painful look at reality.

My children will also see people who are striving and struggling to stay on this straight path with every ounce of their souls. They will see people who spread the word of salaam. They will see people who literally have nothing still praise Allah with gratitude. They will see men and women who outwardly show their love for Allah. They will see children helping each other to memorize His Book while at play. They will see humanity in the Muslim world as it is today; its good and its bad.

In my opinion, there is a big difference in explaining to my children why a Muslim isn't acting his or her best than to explain why people outwardly show hatred towards us because we openly practice Islaam. I can explain that for the Muslim, imaan increases because of obedience to Allah and it decreases due to sins surrounding disobedience. So when a Muslim is acting inappropriately, maybe their imaan is low. Maybe their sins are closing in on them and need to be advised to make sincere tawbah. Maybe they lack any real knowledge in regards to what they doing. I can encourage them to make du'a for the people. I can encourage them to remind the people about Allah. The reminder benefits the believer but the reminders are not the same in the lands of the disbelievers.

In the lands of the disbelievers, our children see people whose very essence is distinctly different from our own. This coupled with the extremely fragile state of many western communities you don't get a good combination. Parents, for the most part, play a key role in the cultivation of their children upon Islaam. But as they get older they will be in need of more and more engagement some of which will take place outside the home (especially for the boys). They will be looking for those things that have been exclusively set up for them and their way of life. They will be looking to meet other children from their own age and gender groups that have their same interests in common. At some point they will be looking outside their families for examples of strong Muslim role models. If they are not able to find anyone to look up to or to strive along with as companions, then this could open the door to Islaam slowly becoming deafened to them as they cast themselves into the abyss of the society around them. Children may do this even though they know that delving into the dunya means losing their Islaamic identity. But what else would we expect them to do? If they don't find what they are looking for within their communities they will surely engage themselves elsewhere.

I am only trying to do my part in regards to my children. This is all I can do. Once my job is done, inshaAllah I will know that I strove hard to raise my children correctly biithnillah. I will know I did all I could do to ensure they were raised properly with the correct understanding of this Deen biithnillah. It is an enormous task to undertake but it has to be done because at the end of the day, I will be the one to blame if my children grow up in an extremely corrupted environment. I will be blameworthy in front of Allah.

From the point my children become baligh, they have to make their own choices. And I pray Allah aids them in this ameen. At that point, I would only be able to advise them and make du'a for them. Of course I will still try to continue to build upon their foundation. But I know one day they have to make the decision to stay this course; they will have to make the decision to hold onto the Rope of Allah. I think being in a Muslim country along with providing a strong family base will aid them, inshaAllah, in weathering the storm called the dunya. InshaAllah it will give them more of an advantage. InshaAllah it will give them more hope for the future. InshaAllah they will have a strong belief in Allah and they will love the message He revealed to us. May Allah aid us in giving this gift to them allahumma ameen.