Our country has a lot of George statues, and no surprise -- given that he was known to enjoy the company of men in every way possible -- quite a few of them are rather gay, although none has proven to be particularly hot. Albany, it turns out, is no exception, as reader John points out:

We don't have any hot gay statues in Albany, I'm afraid. This one of Geo. Washington is gay (strike a pose) but definitely not hot. (Checking the package, though, proves he has something going on).

Hmm, gay but not hot? We're nevertheless intrigued...let's check out the goods, shall we?

Yeah, we agree with John: this guy's definitely gay, but hardly smokin'.

But hey! What's goin' on down there?

Whoas! Check the package! This George, though not exactly hot, clearly has it goin' on for some lucky gent.

Thanks for the submission, John, which proves that any gay statue is better than no gay statue. Readers in other cities, please don't be shy about sharing the best gay statuary you have to offer.

We also encourage everyone to check out John's excellent tree photography on his Flickr.

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup:

We've been lazy about posting hot gay statues, but it's time to take care of some local favorites that have been languishing in the submission box. Reader CBNY, who possesses one of the greatest photo collections of hot gay statues in the world, sent these in for our viewing pleasure, along with the following note:

How many among rush hour throngs notice Mercury, and his obviously impressed admirer, presiding over Park Avenue?

We must confess that we had never noticed, but are quite anxious to check these two out. Shall we?

Hey, these guys are hot! Also, is it us, or does Mercury have a hard guy not exactly concealed in the folds of his tunic? Whatevs, these guys need to get a room.

Clearly the lady statue represents the sad plight of so many (straight) women in New York City who must turn to more intellectual pursuits while the men (all gay, of course) are busy chasing each other. But who knows? She may get a book deal out of it -- perhaps even a teevee series -- and have the la$t laugh.

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup:

Ok, submissions from the American side of the Atlantic have been kind of weak lately, so we thought we'd treat you to a taste of the big leagues in Hot Gay Statuary. Yes, Paris, City of Light! Reader CBNY sends us the following pix and accompanying note:

Men, men everywhere, atop buildings, atop pedestals, out in the garden, inside marbled halls. Why does this mean nothing more to the French than just one more beautiful thing to look at?

That's an interesting question, CBNY. Let's check out a few of these shots and perhaps we'll have a better sense of what's going on.

Smokin' hot dad in a Farrah wig.

CBNY: Some Neptune-ish daddy/merman with armbands (versatile, apparently) and an extremely potent jet of water gushing from his... fish. Place de la Concorde, of course.

CBNY: One of Rodin's Three Shades taking a respite from the Met rooftop, to perch awhile in the Tuileries. Gay probably by dint of his thighs, alone.

TGR: Whoas! Smokin.

CBNY: Nothing to hide, and plenty to show off, in one of the world's most visible, and stellar, locales.

TGR: Hot!

ZOMG. Smokin.

Seriously. Hot.

This guy is smokin hot.

CBNY: I don't know if this centurion high atop a two-story pedestal is gay. (Aren't most centurions?) But his sculptor clearly was.

TGR: Are you kidding? This guy is completely gay and hot smokin' hot.

CBNY: Door handle, Palais de Tokyo.

TGR: Every door handle should be this hot and gay.

CBNY: Oh, those fey, 18th-century aristocrats. But he's definitely been to the gym.

TGR: Hotter and gayer than 99 percent of American statues!

CBNY: is this gay? Let's go around back.

CBNY: Yep, it is.

TGR. More like, yes he is! Smokin' hot. Too bad some crazy like Mike Huckabee got to his package.

Hand-on-hip guy is smokin' too! Damn, is there no end to hot gay statues in Paris?

Thanks for that exhilarating tour, CBNY! We think we can safely speak for all 350 million Americans when we say how awestruck we are by the example of Paris, but also humiliated by the relative dearth of hot gay statues stateside. But we're confident that once word gets out, government at all levels -- from rural municipalities to the U.S. fucking Congress -- will take steps to rectify the situation in the near future. In the meantime, readers, please don't hesitate to send in your examples to both inspire and instruct.

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup:

We've been wondering what the story is with Miami, which is supposedly a pretty gay city but is notable lacking in the Hot Gay Statue Roundup.

But! Our fears were somewhat alleviated when Reader CBNY sent in a submission with the following note:

[These statues are in] the gardens at the villa of Vizcaya, south of Miami. Vizcaya, a Venetian-style palace with formal gardens on Biscayne Bay, was completed in 1916 by the industrialist James Deering, who filled it to the brim with art and treasures from Europe. He never married, and counted among his friends the gay society painter John Singer Sargent. Later in life he became something of a recluse, and on his death, he bequeathed much of his fortune to art institutions, and the estate itself to his nieces. A public museum today, Vizcaya is the home of the iconic, circuit White Party every November. Deering might have appreciated the irony.

Sounds enticing. Let's take a look, shall we?

Hey, are you here for the White Party? Woahs, you're a hot gay statue!

Obviously nothing can hide how hot and gay this guy is.

Thanks, CBNY -- these are some smokin' shots! Miami owes you a serious debt of gratitude for putting them on the map. We wonder how long other cities not presently on the list will continue to suffer the indignity. San Francisco, Boston, Chicago? Sad.

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup:

Isragirl Presents : TLV World Gay Destination 2007, Video by Oshalev ©

Only two more days till the pride parade takes over the streets of Tel Aviv. Its time for some more shameless promotion. Just a few facts you may have forgotten: TLV is only 4 hours away from most European cities and a mere 5 hour's flight from London. Tel Aviv is blessed with a fantastic weather and a long stretch of sandy beaches, there for: a) lots of skin is showing on the parade; b) the parade will end in a huge beach party; c) opportunity for some more skin to come out...

Tel Aviv is a great GLBT destination any weekend of the year, it has knockout gay parties, wild bars and dance-bars, it has unbelievable restaurants, eccentric shopping opportunities, a handsome gay beach, and it is, in general, a very gay friendly city. So why not celebrate with the local GLBT community and join us for a very happy occasion and party? Sunshine is guaranteed as well as shiny happy people, lots of alcohol, music and love.

Some After Parade Parties - Friday June 6:

HaOman 17 - FFF Party - The main after parade event, from midnight till noon the next day, plus another After Party on Shavuot, June 8, long line-up of DJs from Israel and the World, Add: 88 Abarbanel St.

Cedamus Amori - New York House and Electro, Add: 37 Nachalat Binyamin St.

-1 - A Playground Party, House, Dance and Electro, Add: 52 Nachalat Binyamin St.

Evita - Electro and House, DJ shmulik Tiar, Add: 31 Yavne St.

Femme Fatale - Eighty's with Igi Waxman, Add: 19 De Pejeto St.

Last minute invitation to the TLV Pride Parade plus After Parade Party Options

• Travel Israel: Guide, Travel Tips, Photos and Videos
• Burning Man Fresh from the Oven
• GLBT in Israel
• GLBT in Tel Aviv
• Tel Aviv Parks
• Tel Aviv Markets

Today we heard from reader Torrey, who wanted us to know that Columbus Circle offers more than just a high-end shopping experience: it has some hot gay statuary!

Let's check it out, shall we?

Hey, this guy proves you don't have to be hung like a horse to be smokin'.

We wish every mall had statues this smokin. Obviously this guy -- who's 20 feet tall -- attracts a lot of attention! Hot.

Thanks for the submission, Torrey. Readers in need of an ass-kicking haircut, we'd like to point you in the direction of Torrey, who in his spare time also maintains a somewhat voyeuristic but definitely entertaining Flickr.

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup:

Ok, to all the doubters who thought that the Hot Gay Statue contest was winding down, we refer you to reader Genghis Kuhn, who recently wrote us with the following:

[Herewith a] few pictures from my recent "research" trip to London. The firefighting statue is in a public square, while the two classical ones are from the V & A Museum, which is free for the public. All three share hilarious and blatant use of phallic symbols, as well as bangin' bodies.

Sounds pretty freakin' hot, Genghis. Let's check these out, shall we?

Woah. Something's smokin' here, and it's not exactly a fire! Hot.

This guy has a very impressive snake between his legs. Seriously: hot.

Judging from the big and kinda bad hair (especially the Prince Valiant), this was obviously cast in the 1960s. But whatev, it's clearly gay and hot smokin' hot. Some of those guys in the back aren't half bad, either.

Thanks for those pix, Genghis! Readers, in between scouring the streets for more hot gay statues, we encourage you to check out Genghis' new blog, the cleverly named Bed of Neuroses.

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup:

In response to our recent Franco Harris Hot Gay Statue submission, Reader Queerunity writes:

all football players wear spandex, why is this gay?

We're posting this comment -- and thanks for bringing this up, Queerunity -- because we think it raises an interesting point about the literal-minded nature of many people we've met (which is not to say Queerunity is part of this group), who tend to restrict their understanding of what is and isn't gay, often with the underlying purpose of eradicating any reference to the millions of gays who existed (and made art) between the years of say, 500 BC and 1968, when you could pretty much be sent to the gallows for mentioning the words "hot" and "gay" in the same sentence.

So with regard to our Hot Gay Franco Harris Statue submission, we understand it to be gay because a gay reader took a picture of what he considered to be a smokin’ hot male ass (albeit a fake one). So yeah if you want to be really technical (and humorless) about it, the unstated implication here is that of course the statue isn’t “gay” — although we call it gay to be funnee ha ha — much less the person it represents (or those who wear spandex) but the photograph, which is obviously a reflection of the person taking it. As in literature (and many other arts), the gay voice (or here you might say the “gay eye”) doesn’t necessarily have to be represented by say, two dudes (or two ladies) fucking (although it might), but can shine through even when the subject matter — at least on its surface — makes no reference at all to anyone being gay. Try reading "hot bear" Henry James or Virginia Woolf and you’ll see what we mean. Or watch some Pasolini. Or listen to Husker Du. Etc. etc. etc.

Today we received an interesting submission from Reader Troy, who writes to us from Pittsburgh:

I have an important question for The Gay Recluse. In the Pittsburgh airport there is a statue of Franco Harris, who I have no reason to believe is gay. Yet the statue seems very gay! And maybe even hot? Is this possible? Am I losing my mind?

Well Reader Troy, that's a true dilemma, but one that can be rather easily resolved by checking out the pix. Let's take a look, shall we?

Hmm. So far, this statue doesn't seem too gay to us, much less hot (much less smokin'). In fact, those upper arms are a little scary, kinda "manorexic"? But before we pass judgment, let's see what else we have.

Hell-o! We're starting to see what you mean, Troy. On second glance, this statue of Franco Harris is apparently quite gay, and not afraid to show it!

Ok, we're convinced: not only is this statue gay, but it's also quite smokin'.

Thanks for the submission, Troy. We were admittedly skeptical at first, but you have shed some interesting light on one of civilization's longstanding mysteries. Next time someone asks, we'll be able to say: "Who cares who the statue's supposed to represent? The only questions are 1) whether it's gay and 2) whether it's smokin' hot." In this case, we would answer both questions in the affirmative.

Readers, please send us your hot-gay statue submissions! There are a gazillion statues in the United States, and we want to figure out which ones are gay. (And hot!)

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup:

In March, as part of a new traffic-whoring initiative, we opened up The Gay Recluse to commenters. By and large we've been very pleased with the results, not only in terms of traffic but in terms of the many new friends we've made. Hello, new friends!

Not surprisingly, we've have also been occasionally treated to less enlightened commenters, such as  Reader Kurt, who introduced himself to us with this:

I was unaware that gay meant intellectually deficient.

And then became even crazier when we pointed out the equating "gay" to "intellectual deficiency" was a wee bit homophobic. Here's what he said:

I asked Greg, Bobby, Amanda and Becky, and they all laughed at your outrage. I have twice as many gay friends as straight. I picked the adjective in your blog name because it was grammatically simpler than to use the noun. To restate: I didn’t know “recluse” meant idiot. Is that better?

As much as we (a la Gawker) would like to execute more-stupid-than-funny commenters, we will continue to "allow" them to post because a) LOL! and b) we're traffic whores. But for future reference, if you're going to act like an idiot, please don't be shocked when we laugh at you and say: ha! ha! look at the out-of-control idiot who obviously needs at least ten years on the nearest therapy couch! (And god help his kids!) And then maybe we'll shed a few tears, because we know what it's like to be angry and disillusioned and to want to take this out on the world around you instead of looking at what you've done and admitting that it was wrong (and we're not talking about a stupid comment, obviously). And then maybe we'll go look at some smokin' hot gay statues and feel a lot better.

Today we received two unofficial entries for the contest, "unofficial" because 1) the first statue is in Europe and we are primarily interested in locating the hottest gay statues in the U.S., and 2) the second statue doesn't exist except in someone's photoshopallucination! Yet we still wanted to present both submissions to readers because we think the contrast reveals some interesting and fundamental points about statuary hotness.

Reader Mike writes about Statue 1:

I think it goes without saying that David sets the standard for the hottest gay statue ever, so I'm sending along a fabulous photo document for your enjoyment!

As for Statue 2, Reader Jeff writes:

I'm not sure this qualifies as smokin' hot, but here's my "chaser" entry.

Needless to say, we were intrigued! Let's take a look, shall we?

This is statue one, a copy of David in the original location in front of the Palazzo Vecchio, in Florence.

Hello! Yeah, this guy's obviously gay and quite smokin', but he's such a big star, we're not sure he would give us the time of day. Do we sense a little backlash here? OMG have we been "Davided" to death?

Let's check out the second David:

The "chaser" entry! Seriously, we've always liked our men with a few extra pounds, so let's make it official: the big guy is also smokin'. (Oh, and it kind of looks like these two would make a good couple!)

Thanks for your submissions, Mike and Jeff! (And we apologize if readers have seen Jeff's entry already, but it was new to us!) It's always good to be reminded that smokin' hotness is clearly in the eye of the beholder. Which is why we're expecting a lot more statues to come in from around the country! Chicago? San Francisco? Boston? There's still plenty of time and we would hate to see you shut out of such an important indicator of community spirit! Obviously, hot gay statuary comes in many shapes and sizes. (Woof.)

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup:

Today reader Jason sent in the following note along with some pictures:

I don't know why I never really noticed this before, but the statuary at Columbus Circle and Central Park West is really gay. There's two seriously built guys who seem to be having a spat, but from where I stand, they're both extremely hot!

Ok, Jason, let's see what we're dealing with here.

Damn, this guy's hot.

Correct that...from this view he smokin' hot! (Those eyes!)

This guy's not too shabby either!

Interesting equation here: quiet + reserved + intellectual = smokin' hot!

Thanks for the submission, Jason. We agree that whether these guys are fighting or not, they are both seriously gay and smokin' hot, which is always a good combination! Readers: we find it hard to believe that there aren't a lot more hot gay statues out there waiting to be discovered. Do you really want your city to be left out when the winner is declared in November? Obviously, there's plenty of time, so we look forward to seeing some hot pix.

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup:

Today reader Will wrote with the following update:

I was just in New Orleans and got some more photos for your Hottest
Gay Statues contest. They're from the Mardi Gras World museum
(http://www.mardigrasworld.com/).

Laissez les bons temps rouler! Let's see what New Orleans has to offer:

This matador is pretty flamboyant and has a nice package, but is he gay?

Oh yeah, totally gay.

Smokin' hot too.

Apparently this place is filled with gay statues. And hot nips aside, what's under that towel!?

Thanks again, Will! With two submissions, you are clearly in line for some sort of medal. Everyone else, keep 'em coming. We've seen some hot statues, but know that there's a lot more out there.

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup:

Today reader Scott LaPierre sends in this from Georgia, as in the former Soviet Socialist Republic. Scott writes:

i don't know exactly what's supposed to be going on in this mural/statue, but there seems to be a lot of innuendo here...it's in Gori, Georgia (the town is the birthplace of Stalin).

Let's check it out:

Hold on Scott, we think there's a lot more than innuendo going on here! More like, "check out this gay-pride march from 1978 that was dipped in bronze and slapped into a corner!" And how about these two "sailors" on the left? In short, this is totally gay and smokin' hot. (It looks like the USSR may not have lost the Cold War after all!)

Thanks for the submission, Scott! Seriously, it's nice to see some smokin' hot gay statuary in the best Tom of Finland proletariat tradition. That said, this must be filed primarily under inspiration, as the contest is technically limited to the United States. Where, btw, we suspect there's a lot more hot gay statuary that we should be proud to call our own. Cities across the United States: why not show us what you have?

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup:

Last week our newest correspondent The Blind Architect filed this report:

You may be interested in this statue of George Washington I saw last week in Seattle. No musculature, but he does have a big sword. I have been watching the HBO John Adams series, and George Washington (played by David Morse) is portrayed as a great historical figure, so I am inspired to root for his inclusion in your contest.

Ok, TBA, let's check it out!

Hmmm. We see what you're saying about the sword, but this could be a lot gayer, actually.

The Blind Architect followed up with this:

There are some sculptures of George Washington that are hotter than the one from Seattle. Check out the father of our country below. Not exactly a six-pack, but admirable pecs and biceps, wouldn't you say? And what's that he's holding? And OMG...what's up with all of the swords?

We agree. From the neck down, this George is not only gay, but actually kinda hot! (?) (And how about those feet!) Still, we're not exactly in love with his face, which gives us the sense that he partied a bit too much for his own good a few decades ago.

We look forward to hearing more from The Blind Architect. In the meantime, we have our own obviously-gay-but-not exactly-hot George to add to the mix, this one from the Pittsburgh International Airport, where we recently had the pleasure of spending a few minutes.

"My name is George Washington. My truth is that I am a gay American."

We're proud of him for finally admitting it!

Although it's safe to say that none of these statues are going to win any awards, we are nonetheless inspired by the growing recognition that the father of our country was clearly gay if not exactly hot. Are we missing any hot Georges out there? And what about Abraham Lincoln, the gayest greatest president of all time? We encourage everyone to keep your eyes open.

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup:

Although this is not an official submission, we felt it was imperative to share a comment from reader GenghisKuhn in response to Seth Tisue's entry from Philadelphia (shown below).

Genghis writes:

What makes this even funnier is that it looks like the J-Man might be involved, reminiscent of this hilarious piece of art (I tried to find a larger one, but YOU try google image searching “jesus+gay”):

Thanks, Genghis! We apologize to readers already familiar with this image, but it was new to us and we thought it would also be useful to remind everyone -- despite the whole church-state-separation thing -- not to overlook hilarious hot gay religious statuary! Many places of worship can be considered quasi-public to the extent you can go in and look around for free; we have to believe a treasure trove of hot gay statuary exists within these holy confines! (That said, we want to see it.)

Today we received this missive from The London Eye:

Dear Gay Recluse: Here are a few more London statues... Even though we're not eligible for awards, we want the United States to know that our statues are HERE, our statues are QUEER, and our statues are IN YOUR FACE.

Hmm. We understand that The London Eye (who we have reason to believe is a closeted football fan, by which we don't mean "soccer") is trying to taunt us with this schoolyard language, but we nevertheless remain quite sensitive to the issue! (And as we all know, The London Eye is not one to deliver empty threats.) Let's ponder the evidence. (Our language -- in case it wasn't obvious -- in itals.)

1. FDR and Churchill on Old Bond Street.

While cruising for anonymous sex, FDR inadvertently picks up Winston Churchill. (They're both relieved that Stalin isn't around, since he tends to play a little too rough.)
NUDE - No
GAY - Yes
HOT - No

Excellent analysis, London Eye! Also, because this statue is not very hot, we are not particularly disturbed by its "tiny size."

2. "Homage to Leonardo" in Belgrave Square.

This image looks hot on paper, but creepy in three dimensions.
NUDE - Yes
GAY - Yes
HOT - No

Yikes. Creepy is right. We're not sure which is less hot: having eight arms and legs or that haircut!? We wouldn't want to run into this guy in a dark alley, that's for sure.

3. "Eros" in Piccadilly Circus

Description: What could be more "erotic" than the hot little twink himself? (Actually, this statue was intended to represent Eros' twin Anteros, the personification of unrequited love. But that's even hotter, for some reason.)
NUDE - Yes (except for that strategically placed bit of robe)
GAY - Yes
HOT - Yes

Whoa! Nice work, London Eye! Needless to say, we're convinced. This statue is definitely one of the gayest and most smokin' hot we've seen to date. Like you said, it's a good thing London isn't eligible to win! You guys are truly in a different league.

Or are they? We've seen some pretty hot entries from the United States, and like to think that we've barely scratched the surface. Readers: help us prove The London Eye wrong! (We would also like to hear from our neighbors to the north and south, obviously.) Will we always be doomed to lag behind Europe in this most important measure of national identity and well-being? Stay tuned for more.

Today we present a submission from Seth Tisue, who sends in an entry from the 30th Street Station in Philadelphia.

Let's check it out, shall we?

Hot or not...? Are you kidding!!? This is seriously gay and smokin' hot. Nicely done, Philadelphia! You have not been tentative in your first entry on the boards.

Thanks for the submission, Seth. We like this pic because it raises many questions that extend beyond the implicit gayness and hotness of the sculpture. In short: we consider it for a second and immediately want to know more.

We encourage everyone to check out Seth's cool web site here (http://tisue.net), but be forewarned: the first page features a photograph of one of Louise Bourgeois' awesomely creepy (and ginormous) spider sculptures, which is guaranteed to give you nightmares for weeks!

For those in other cities, we await your submissions. There's still plenty o' time in the contest -- it's longer than the Democratic primaries (LOL!!!) -- to scour your local venues for the best in hot gay statuary.

For those of you who haven't heard of it, Los Angeles is kind of like New York City except it's in California, and instead of subways you have to drive everywhere! Crazy, right? But that said, like New York City, there are LOTS of gay men there, so we were very pleased to receive our first official entry from L.A. resident Will who writes:

I am attaching photos from a recent trip to the Getty Villa in Los Angeles. The statues are in a quasi-public place since it is free to get into the Getty Villa museum, you just have to make a reservation for timed tickets to visit (see http://www.getty.edu/visit/). Hope you enjoy them.

Let’s check out 'em out:

Uhh, yeah. We'd say that pretty much qualifies.

Here we have (in duplicate) a traditional shot of a pitcher and a catcher. (H-O-T!)

What more can we say? Gay. Naked. Smokin' hot. It's official: Los Angeles is now in serious contention.

Nicely done, Will! You should seriously be a hero to the millions of gay men who live in Los Angeles, who unlike those in so many other cities in the United States have yet to submit a single hot gay statue. (That said, it's not too late!)

Finally, Will asked us to post the following, and given his smokin' hot submission, how could we refuse?

I also wanted to share a video I made with some friends and posted on YouTube this week. It would be excellent if you shared it with your readers. Even though it relates to immigration, there is a gay angle since it was written, directed, and performed by gay men. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-30BZtpvaTY)

We enjoyed this. It has a 1980s goofball-comedy quality to it that's very charming, even as it makes a good point about how archaic our immigration system is.

Let's face it: when it comes to gay rights hot gay statues, Europe is miles ahead of the United States. Reader Anthony Goriainoff, a journalist and photographer based in Madrid,