There is a “desert of sin” that people will wander through, for some it’s a wilderness, a barren spiritual highway. But here is a call from God, he is saying, “Prepare the way, make room in you heart for Jesus”.  

The Bible says, of John the Baptist, in Luke 1:76 to 79 (NIV), "And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him, to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace." 

John preached a message from the Lord; it was one of repentance, “prepare to meet Jesus”. Now His message takes on a new meaning one chapter later, Luke 3:3 to 6 (NIV), “He went into all the country around the Jordan , preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. As is written in the book of the words of Isaiah the prophet: ‘A voice of one calling in the desert, “Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him. Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low. The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth. And all mankind will see God's salvation”’.”  In other words, nothing should stop all mankind from looking towards Jesus, for them to prepare the way for Jesus to enter in to their hearts. Every path is cleared; the doors are wide open, the path to Jesus, the highway to the Lord, is clear for the “whosoever” to enter in. 

My friend, He will turn your barrenness into fruitfulness. He will turn your desert into an oasis. He will cause every valley to be filled in, and every mountain and hill to be made low. The crooked roads shall become straight, and the rough ways smooth, and all mankind will see God's salvation. Can you hear that voice calling out to you today, "Prepare the way for Lord”? The gates are now open, the message is now being preached, it’s a message that demands a response. Will you prepare your heart in repentance, and make way for Jesus to come into your life? 

Make way, make way for Christ the King, in splendour arrives, fling wide the gates, and welcome Him into your lives. 

 God bless you my friend, Matthew.

(Prov 21:9 KJV)  It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.

Bullies, abusers, liars, slanderers tend to be clearly immoral persons who try to enslave others uancceptably even if they profess to be Christian or what ever,,

>>My ex-husband smokes pot and drinks a lot, and I am told, so does his girlfriend. He once told me that I am too righteous because I don’t drink or do drugs, and I attend church.

and that was a verbal abuse if I have ever seen one..

so do thank God daily that he has now removed your from this  abusive relationship..

and do ask Him, God  to take all the tears away and he will.

(Psa 4:8 KJV)  I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.

(Rev 21:4 KJV)  And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

and there still can be a good life after divorce with God’s help…

Truly any type of abuse is unacceptable and anywhere too

and exposing it loudly in public as well as calling the police is the best way to deal with it for everyone’s benefit, the abuser included.

God himself clearly does not accept verbal, physical, or human rights abuses

(Mat 18:6 KJV) But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

(Mat 18:7 KJV) Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

(Mat 18:8 KJV) Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.

No we ALL cannot STOP, take the ostrich approach under the guise of love to the definite bad acts of others, we as Christians are still called to be fruit inspectors of those who profess to be Christians ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY RARELY QUOTE IT in actual context OR LIVE THE BIBLE THEY CLAIM THEY BELIEVE IN-

(Gen 31:42 KJV) Except the God of my father, the God of Abraham, and the fear of Isaac, had been with me, surely thou hadst sent me away now empty. God hath seen mine affliction and the labour of my hands, and rebuked thee yesternight.

(Lev 19:17 KJV) Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.

(Neh 5:7 KJV) Then I consulted with myself, and I rebuked the nobles, and the rulers, and said unto them, Ye exact usury, every one of his brother. And I set a great assembly against them.

(Psa 119:21 KJV) Thou hast rebuked the proud that are cursed, which do err from thy commandments.

(Prov 24:25 KJV) But to them that rebuke him shall be delight, and a good blessing shall come upon them.

(Prov 27:5 KJV) Open rebuke is better than secret love.

(Eccl 7:5 KJV) It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools.

(Mat 17:18 KJV) And Jesus rebuked the devil; and he departed out of him: and the child was cured from that very hour.

(Mark 1:25 KJV) And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace, and come out of him.

(Mark 4:39 KJV) And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

(Mark 8:33 KJV) But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.

(1 Tim 5:20 KJV) Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

(2 Tim 4:2 KJV) Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

(Titus 1:13 KJV) This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith;

(Titus 2:15 KJV) These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.

(Heb 12:5 KJV) And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

(Rev 3:19 KJV) As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

"This is from the book by Patricia Evans http://andthenshecried.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/the-verbally-abusive-relationship-how-to-recognize-it-and-how-to-respond

Verbal abuse is a kind of battering which doesn’t leave evidence like physical abuse does. However, it can be just as painful, and recovery can take much longer. The victim of abuse lives in a gradually more confusing realm. In public she is with one man, in private he becomes another. Often, for the verbally abused woman (man), there is no witness to her reality and no one to understand her experiences. Friends and family continue to see her ex, the abuser, as a really good guy and, certainly, he agrees with them. The verbal abuser, while maintaining his charm with others, always takes his abuse behind closed doors. It is a means of holding power over his wife( husband) /partner.. Many women and some men leave a marriage and come back into the singles’ world with the diminished self-esteem that comes from a verbally abusive relationship. The fact that many of these women (men) have never even realized that they were being abused, makes it easy for them to enter another abusive relationship. A verbal abuser is an insecure person and immature person who is looking for power and control over another.In order to help you recognize abuse, remember that all forms of verbal abuse are methods of manipulating you for the purpose of establishing power over you. The following are some of the forms of verbal abuse the author helps you recognize.

1. Withholding: a purposeful, silent treatment.
2. Countering: a countering of your ideas, feelings, and perceptions, even going so far as to refute what he misconstrues you to have said.
3. Discounting–a putdown of you or something you hold dear.
4. Blocking and diverting–this is a sneaky, covert way of violating your dignity.
5. Accusation and blame: generally involves lies about the partner’s intentions, attitudes, and motives. The author states that accusation and blame is present in all verbally abusive relationships.
6. Judging and criticizing: lies about your personal qualities and performance.
7. Trivializing and undermining: abusive behavior which makes light of your work, your efforts, your interests, or your concerns. The abuser attempts to dilute meaning and value in your life. Undermining might occur when your partner laughs at you, for example, when you burn yourself cooking. It is also jokes at your expense. Undermining is occurring when you feel a “so-called joke” is mean rather than funny.
8. Name calling: no one has a right to call you degrading names. Name calling is verbal abuse.
9. Ordering: Telling you to do something, rather than asking, or making decisions for you or for the two of you without your input.
10. Forgetting and denial: the trickiest form of denial is forgetting. Become aware that forgetting is a form of denial that shifts all responsibility from the abuser to some “weakness of mind.”
11. Abusive anger: this seems to be closely linked to the need to “blow up,” to dominate, to control, to go one up, and to put down. Any time you are snapped at or yelled at, you are being abused.

If you counter the abuser or attempt to explain yourself, you will probably be met with such statements as, “I don’t want to hear it, get out of my face” or “Woman you don’t have the brains“, “B” You shouldn’t have said that to me“.

If you are in a brand-new relationship and see warning signs of verbal abuse, the author suggests you might be wise to let the relationship go. It is not likely that a man (woman) who needs to dominate and control will change easily, if at all. It is also likely that when the newness of the relationship wears off, he will become more abusive. Verbal abuse can become physical in time and physical abuse is always preceded by verbal abuse, according to Evans.If you are in a long-term relationship, you can respond to the abuser as the book suggests and soon discover for yourself whether or not your mate is willing to change and stop his abusive behavior.

“If you have been verbally abused in your relationship, you may have discovered that explaining and trying to understand have not improved your relationship. Therefore, I recommend that you respond in a new way–a way that will make an emotional, psychological, and intellectual impact upon your mate.”

The abuser in your relationship may change when he finds that you do know when you are being abused, that you have set limits, that you mean what you say, and that you will not take behavior you don’t like. 

If the man ( or sadly too often now a women) in your relationship remains abusive, it is not only not your fault," it is  your responsibility to deal with it, make it public, call the police too.

Any person cannot still fight with you of you leave his or her presences, even forever.. and there is still a good life after a failed marriage now too. I practise what I preach and often now too.

The first spouse, love seems  is always the best one in our false pride.. and I know what that is like too.. WE SEEM ALL TO REPEAT OUR BAD TASTE, VALUES.. When they let a person out a prison they generally have a rule not to let them return to his old environment, past home, for five years.. otherwise they will be under the same old bad habits, dispositions too..

NOTE I lost once everything I had owned.. still next I replaced it all with the same things, even though I never used most of them, old habits and bad tastes DO die hard still too for almost all of us.. 

Now still reporting publically the abusers, and calling the POLICE TOO most often solves the abuse problem the best.. for if the evil persons do not feel real negative personal consequences, REAL negative public exposures, they really have no reasons to change their bad habits next and likely then never will.

I rightfully too tend to openly expose all abusers, all bad people, all bad churches, all bad politicians, all bad corporations that I come across, and  often and I  also do do call the police, regulating authorities  often and demand they all be fired,   be put in jail too.

I was also still surprised how popular this post now is too.

http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/

You see, I wanted to buy a dog for our kids and for me a few years back.  But my husband said no, he didn't want a dog.

Near tears one afternoon, Taylor said, "I'm never going to get to have a dog, am I, Mom?  I just want a pet.  One pet.  It can be anything... a bird, a goldfish.  You won't even let me have a fish."

"Fish stink," I said.  "Remember those fish you won at the school carnival?  I had to clean their bowl every day and they still stunk.  If we get anything it will be a dog," I said.

It made me sad to think that Taylor, an obedient, loving, and helpful child, might not get to have a pet as I did growing up.  I wanted to bless her with a fluffy cuddly puppy who is a bundle of unbridled energy and who would lick her face and make her giggle.

That night the kids and I went to the pet store, just to look.

Taylor asked if she could call her dad as he was driving home from work, and have him meet us at the pet store and show him the adorable puppy we wanted to buy. 

 He said sure.  The kids were excited, jumping up and down, saying, "I know he's going to say yes!"

Garrett (not his real name either) sauntered into the pet store and gave each kid a big hug.

"Daddy, look at this puppy," Taylor said, holding up a cuddly ball of black and white fur.  "Isn't he cute?"

"Yes, he's cute," Garrett admitted.

"Can we get him; can we get him?" Tristan, age two, pleaded.

"We'll see...," Garrett answered.  "Let's take him in a room so you can play with him."

"He is cute," Garrett said to me as the kids were playing with the Cocker Spaniel pup.

I smiled but dared not say anything.

After about 15 minutes, Garrett stood up and said, "Okay, kids, it's time to go.  The store is going to close soon."

"So, Dad, can we buy him?" Taylor asked.

"No," Garrett said.

Tristan's eyes filled with tears and he looked in to Garrett's eyes, pleading, "I want to buy the puppy!!"

"Can we?" I asked Garrett.

"No...," Garrett said, surprised I would even ask.

"Let's go kids," I said.  Uncomfortable silence hung in the air as we walked back to the car.

That night I had a dream.  I dreamt that Henry Winkler went to that pet store and bought the very dog I wanted!  

When I woke up, I was determined.  I prayed, "Lord, I'm going to go buy that puppy.  Please don't be mad at me.  I really want the kids to see what it's like to have a dog.    I'm sure Garrett will say yes in a few days so I will just put down the deposit to hold the dog before someone else buys it out from under us, and then I'll convince Garrett to let us get it, and he'll think it was all his idea."

The pet store owner was surprised when I showed up that morning.  "Your husband said yes?" she asked.

"My Husband," I said, accentuating the word and telling myself it referred to God in this case, "said yes."  

Well.., it hasn't turned out so well.  Over the past four years, here are some of the complications and problems we have had with this adorable dog: 

1. My in-laws are very allergic to dogs, so they cannot be in our house for more than a few hours. 

2. As a puppy Logan (his real name!) was feisty, and would take Tristan's toys, hide under the coffee table, and bite whoever tried to take it away.

3. Logan has constant ear infections and one ear canal is completely closed.  He needs surgery.

4. Logan had a severe bladder infection and peed pure blood on the carpet - a spot about 10 inches wide.

5. We had to get him neutered then instead of breeding him because his prostate gland was enlarged and that was what caused the bladder infection.

6. He threw up every day for the first year of his life until we realized it was the dog food.  We now feed him Sensitve Stomach dog food.

7. He recently tore his knee cap completely off, severing his cruciate ligament (a common injury in Cocker Spaniels), and requiring a $2,000 surgery.  Garrett says no surgery, we can't afford it, and the vet says Logan will be crippled otherwise, perhaps within as little as one month.

Garrett is also in the midst of a huge project at work so he was required, along with many other employees, to stay up all night last night and monitor the programs.  He is still working now.

Last night, Garrett had a headache due to all the stress and accused Hillary, our oldest, of taking one of his beers.  She candidly told him she didn't take any, and that she tried beer once and hates the taste, so of course she didn't take his beer.  He was not convinced. 

While Garrett was playing Star Wars with Tristan, Hillary was sitting  on the couch.  She had a migraine.

"Dad, can I turn that down?" she asked.  "I have the remote right here," she told him.  But he wasn't listening.  

She asked again.  Still no reply.

"Yes, turn it down," I answered.

She turned it down two notches, which prompted Garrett to yell, "Hey!  What are you doing?  Give that to me right now!"

There was no silence in my house for quite a while after that.  Despite me trying to reason with them, in calm and comforting tones, it didn't turn out so well in the end:

One cellphone taken away.

One BlackBerry taken away in retaliation.

One door taken off a room as four people leave the house.

Hillary sleeping at a friend's house.

BlackBerry found by calling the phone number.

Well, that's where we are this morning.  Welcome to the Drama House.

Thank you God that you provide hope, because we are a mess. 

I hear some snoring in the living room....

http://www.helpyourteens.com

You can also check out my book, "A Relentless Hope: Surviving the Storm of Teen Depression," at:  http://www.survivingteendepression.com

I promise when I bite into them
my only thoughts will be:
of you undressed, and waiting for me

©Dean J. Baker

So, with working, events, and living, I find myself in moments of solitude, set apart for God and thinking.  Thinking "do I even want to get that camera?  I'm no sure I care...", wondering, and praying some.

I will probably get this camera, (praise the Lord!,) I will likely endeavor doing interviews, making films with the members of Minosa Films, my friends and family, and even some commercial work.

But in every new step up in the tower of life, I must recall my duties and check my burdens - have I accomplished all that people have required of me to this moment?  Am I free to move on?  And I must decide and make action upon that conclusion.

I do not want to abandon the talents that have dogged my life so divenely my whole life, but I am eager and curious to move forward in this direction of film making.

Thank you for listening and God bless!

Can't wait till the future, wondering about it all,

-b

Gilbert quotes a startling experiment that shows how important our expectations can be. One group of participants was promised a reward (e.g. £3) for their participation, but then told that there was a mistake and they would receive less (say £2). The second group were promised a lower amount (e.g. £1) and received exactly what they were promised. A rational argument would say that those receiving £2 were still better off and so should be happier than those receiving £1. But in practice the first group were more unhappy than the second - because they didn't receive what they had expected to receive. One group thought themselves £1 better off than nothing, the others felt they were £1 worse off than £3.

It's one of those ideas that starts to apply itself to all sorts of areas of my life and thinking.

One of the most difficult aspects of my current work situation is that people feel that they were promised more (by my predecessor) than I am able to give them. So unfortunately what I am able to offer, although generous if considered objectively, is deeply unsatisfying to them because it's less than they were expecting.

It's also relevant to relationships. Before my last relationship, I was mooching along fairly happily as a single person, having been single for several years. Yes, I wanted a partner, but my life was interesting and fulfilling and overall I was happy. During the relationship I became used to all sorts of things that were better than in my single situation - having my self-image reinforced by compliments and attention, opportunities to discover new things, someone who was always there (by mobile if not in person) when I wanted to talk, and all sorts of other benefits. I didn't need all those things - I'd got on perfectly happily without them. But their sudden withdrawal was a shock. And while I knew that I could be happy as a single person, it took me some time to get back to that state of mind, because I had expected that the relationship level of comfort would continue. Again, it was harder to cope with the withdrawal of something than it was to cope with its absence.

It also occurs to me that this may be why some religious people view the life of an atheist as necessarily miserable. If you have been promised, and come to believe, that you will meet your loved ones again, it must be difficult and painful to accept the idea that you will not. Whereas if you always felt that death was final, you simply don't feel the same level of disappointment, because you never expected anything more. (Obviously the belief in heaven can help to make the initial grief easier to bear, and will continue to do so so long as you continue believing that. But if that belief ever falters, dealing with the withdrawal is more painful than it would have been to deal with the initial grief without this apparent consolation.)

My experience of having never believed in heaven is therefore vastly different from the experience of someone who has believed in heaven and has ceased to do so. The de-converted seem to get used to the disappointment, with time (Gilbert also argues strongly that we also tend to strongly underestimate how well we our coping mechanisms help us deal with future calamities). But a religious person who still believes in heaven will, if they try to imagine what it would be like not to believe in heaven, is likely to completely overestimate the misery this would cause a deconvert, let alone a life-long atheist like myself.

Somewhere in the blogosphere I came across someone describing how angry they felt with someone who told a child that there was no Santa Claus, feeling that shattering the child's illusions was cruel. But I was mystified why they were angry at the person that shattered the illusion - rather than the person who set up the inevitable disappointment by telling that child the original lie that there was a Santa Claus. The experience of living in a world without Santa Claus is completely different depending on whether we were told that a world with Santa Claus was possible.

So what does this mean in practice? It should be reasonably straightforward to avoid making promises that can't be kept in a work situation, and I've definitely had a very clear lesson in why this is so important. It's harder in relationships - because the nature of a long-term relationship is the hope that it will continue, and the mutual commitment to trying to do so. But still, I think being aware of this will help in future relationships - to know that the horror with which the mind contemplates being single from within a relationship is not a realistic perception of the actual experience of being single.

The mind does work strangely at times - but it does help to get to know its peculiarities!

I'm still moderately dingy during the day and I suspect the Seroquel is the culprit. It's like I'm so unfocused on what I might like to accomplish that I can't get much done. I miss the good ole days when I just knew and did what I needed to do automatically. Of course the time always came when I didn't want to do whatever it was anymore, but at least I'd enjoy a period of time feeling like I was competent.

At any rate I've got another 24 to push through. So far so good. Mom is relatively relaxed and is going to get outside. The storms aren't here yet. It's actually mostly sunny. When they pop up though, they can do it in just minutes. One of the joys of living on the Gulf Coast is our rapidly changing and utterly unpredictable weather. I hate it. I still harbor fantasies about moving to the high desert in some future life but the odds of that are probably similar to those for my piloting the space shuttle. At least it's bearable here for nine months out of the year and actually nice for six of those. I could be stuck in Miami or some other sweltering hell hole.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified: do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Today's name for Jesus:

Faithful and True (Revelation 19:11)

Reflecting on today's quote I like to pull out the word commanded. If it is a commandment it must be vitally important and  we must have the capability to do it. The bible also tells us in 2 Timothy 1:7 that God has not given us a spirit of fear, he did give us power, love and a sound mind. When I first read this passage I wondered where fear came from if it wasn't from God. There could be only one answer. Fear is opposed to faith. I am not going to tell you that I do not get scared sometimes. But, when those times come I force myself to remember that God is for me and who and what Jesus is. Today we are reminded that he is faithful and true. This means that whatever situation or condition we are in that there is hope and we have promises.

People are often confused when it seems that the bottom falls out of there world when they make a commitment to God. I have felt this myself. But I know that the closer we are to God and the more we are committed to living a holy life that trials will come. Sometimes huge trials that threaten to frighten us right out of our pants. We must remember that Power that we are given. We must also remember that the devil uses illusions. He is quite good at it. I think that is why the bible tells us to keep our minds on spiritual things.

Conditions change and bad moments pass. But God never changes and never fails. He loves us and he is true to his word. He rescues us and gives us all that we need. Our only job is to believe. Believing is truely almost impossible when you are scared. Believing and wishing are two different things. Wishing on a star will not get you out of a situation. But total faith and commitment to doing things God way will work everytime. When I look back over my life at the times when everything looked as though I would be totally consumed I can see the hand of God pulling me up and pulling me out. I am so greatful. I know that through hard and frightening times I can be courageous and even ask God to give me more courage. And I know that Jesus is Faithful and True to deliver me, hold me up and love me.

So no matter what you are going through, the more frightening the situation the louder your prayer and praise should be. In my mind the scary situations are a gage at how close to God we are!

Be Blessed

Brenda

One week on and a few things have become apparent. One, I am never going to find those batteries.

Second, many of the things on the To Do list conflict with each other. For example, I have to write a food budget. I also need to start cooking from scratch again. I need to take in more food and it needs to be healthy (growing babies is hard work!). I need to stock the cupboards. I also need to do all of this on no more than £60 this month, thanks to a little financial mismanagement last month that left us pinched.

£15 a week doesn't buy much these days. Which got me to thinking just how I was going to manage it. I took a look at my store cupboards and I realised just how much food I have. I bulk bought whole food last year with good intentions; and most of it is still sat there, gradually degrading. According to the Love Food, Hate Waste campaign, a third of all the food bought in Britain is thrown away. In a year that has seen food riots across the world and famines returning to the news, it seems the majority of us don't realise we're born.

I often jump to rash conclusions when something makes me angry; and I could quite happily say that we in Britain are a nation of spoiled, insular morons who have had far too much, for far too little, for far too long. Which is true. However, I know that in my heart of hearts, humans are apt to take things for granted, only realising our good fortune when it starts to slip away. The harm caused is unintentional, the result of a particulary malignant self absorption. Our saving grace may be that we are highly adaptable and creative; and (judging by many an episode of Oprah), are capable of great empathy. All of which gives me some hope.

So I don't need to stock the cupboards. My food budget has written itself and leaves me with no choice but to eat whole foods in huge quantities (which means cooking from scratch). All of this will also drastically reduce the amount of waste we produce; and my culinary creativity will be put to the test, perhaps resulting in a family cookbook. Strike another two off the list. Perhaps the challenge isn't so momentous after all?

Dancing With the Universe By Jim Walsh

The song and website is noted at the end of the video.

Hopefully the Angels are listening in...

Angel of mine
Help me to fly
Help me to touch the sky
Help me to find my life.
Angel of mine
Show me the light
Help me to change my thoughts
Help me to free my soul
Help me to love this life.
Angel of mine
Open my eyes
Help me to understand
Your secret of being.
Angel of mine
Help me to fly
Help me to touch the sky
Help me to find my life.
Angel of mine
Show me the light
. . .

I'm a-goin' back out 'fore the rain starts a-fallin',
I'll walk to the depths of the deepest black forest,
... Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters,
... Where the executioner's face is always well hidden,
Where hunger is ugly, where souls are forgotten,
Where black is the color, where none is the number,
And I'll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it,
And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it,
... And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.
 [Bob Dylan : A Hard Rains a'gonna fall]

The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water— the name of the star is Wormwood. A third of the waters turned bitter, and many people died from the waters that had become bitter. [Revelations 8:10, 11]

We cannot say how the wind blows. From whence, towards where, how strongly, how varied, bearing good or ill omen. The wind remains, even in this proud scientific age, a profound mystery.

And so it is that the fateful events of April 1986 have been blown into my ambit. I have been reminded of something that is part of the wallpaper of the 20th century, something I saw from afar, the implications of which I clearly did not grasp at the time. I am in the grip of this tale of horror, and feel compelled to make some sense of it.

To be sure, the events surrounding the explosion on the 26th April 1986 of Reactor Number 4 at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Station, Ukraine, have been exhaustively analysed, down to the second. Books have been written, which I have yet to read. I scan the facts, and they fascinate me. I've been doing more chemistry this week that I have done for 30 years. I see the pictures and they revolt me. But I want my words here to be few, and my response if at all possible, succinct.

There are 2 points of view I have had the privilege of knowing. Firstly, the recent photoreportage of biker-journalist Elena Filatova. Her plain and yet highly lyrical English prose compliments her photographs perfectly.

And secondly, a short interview by author Svetlana Alexievich called "Voices from Chernobyl: Chronicle of the Future" .

As a planet we are experiencing a radical shift. Some offer names for this - the post industrial age, post modernity, and the like. Of course there are a torrent of reasons making up the chaotic fabric of this age. But it seems to me that the Chernobyl tragedy played a pivotal role in the collapse of the Soviet empire, and shift of global power which resulted in the current wave of globalisation, with all its anxiety, it’s unknowing, its ill effects, as well as its promise. Alexievich makes some sense of this:

"We cannot read the sign of Chernobyl - it's a foreign text. None of the great writers has dealt with this subject, nor has any philosopher. Chernobyl lies beyond the boundaries of culture."

Key to this, she points out that rather that an event in the recent past, its effects are yet to be seen.

"Chernobyl changed space, Even a country that doesn't build reactors will be hit by the fallout from another country... Chernobyl also changed time. Radionuclides take hundreds of thousands of years to degrade. This is too much for the human imagination. Chernobyl has only just begun."

This shift from a well understood view on space and time, is profound.

Everyone deals with this sea change in different ways. For me, as one informed by scripture and faith, it places us in a particular mode of unknowing, not dissimilar to Abraham leaving all he knew on a hunch, the Israelites leaving Egypt on a promise, or of Jesus saying "nevertheless not my will but your be done", and descending into the hiddenness of Sheol.

Maybe the size of the scope of the problem could help us to transcend the merely human response. Surely faith is about accepting that which lies beyond our event horizon. It is to quote the book of Hebrews,  "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

"What good are our helicopters here? An entire culture collapsed, the familiar culture of war... the worms had bored a meter and a half down into the earth. Nature had obviously received signals."

And

"We are changing - from a civilisation of fear to a civilisation of catastrophes. Progress has become dangerous, for both humankind and nature."

Svetlana Alexievich's observation shows us how our myth of progress has suffered a mighty judgement. The illusion that we can dominate or control the natural process of life. The materialistic belief that life is about conquest, and mere survival. Are we learning?

Surely a new sense of being, a new spirituality is called for. One which throws off these delusions, and honours the creation as something holy, not a resource to be used. This is not a mere issue of ecology, a "green" issue. It is a fundamental challenge of the heart.

It's immensely fascinating how "accurate" a representation of the Chernobyl event, is the Revelation text. According to Wikipedia the Ukrainian word Chernobyl means "black grass" and refers to the weed mugwort, also known as wormwood. The star falling from the sky, the bitter waters, are powerful and poetic representations of radioactive fallout.

But to reduce the event to the idea of "prophecy foretold" and a Nostrodamusised response of awe at that we can do nothing about, misses the point. In fact, prophecy is mostly about a personal challenge to change, rather than a piece of cosmic cinema which we watch, as detached and spellbound audiences, rather than active participants.

Elena Filatova, although not a theist, has this to say bout the temptations of Jesus:

"Jesus rejects them all, but mankind is too weak. Science knows how to turn uranium stones into both weapons and bread. The people embraced the vision with unbridled enthusiasm, lured by the tricks of nuclear alchemy. Never mind the penalties of Time's usury and the violation of all natural principles, the people chased after those tainted miracles, marched with nukes in parades, and shouted - Hurrah!"

And perhaps displaying Ukrainian religious roots, she makes this point:

"Chernobyl is a vital icon for modern Christianity, and a bitter fountain of learning for us all."

Living a life filled with love for others, now that sounds good to me.

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January 2nd – 5th 1997
We were back at the Royal Surrey again for another transfusion. That breathing, and that cough, had caught the doctors’ attention. Jenny’s lung had been filling up with fluid, they said.

That told me that the cancer had spread further, and it revealed why her new chemotherapy was targeted at lung cancer – to slow down that spread, and not to effect a cure.

No one had told Jenny.

But just as my thoughts about a quick and merciful end had all but disappeared by now, so had any half-formed ideas about telling her.

I knew Jenny so well, and what a fighter she was, and I knew it was only the fight which was keeping her going. Without that, she couldn't go on.

I was torn between wanting her to know, so that we could talk, so that I could lift the burden that I was carrying, and not wanting her to know, in case she simply gave up. It was a terrible place to be.

The nurses fitted a drain into Jenny’s lung and removed three litres (more than five pints) of fluid. That’s a huge amount – have a look at the milk in your fridge and you’ll see just how much. It was no wonder that Jenny could hardly breathe.

And afterwards, with a clear lung and a new tank of blood inside her, the improvement was just enormous.

But it had been hardly an instant fix. Jenny was always the model patient, quietly waiting and unwilling to complain, but it really did take bloody ages to do anything at the hospital. There weren’t enough staff, and there were always more urgent cases, with people collapsing or returning from operations.

After three days, finally I sought out the Staff Nurse a second time. I had already complained to her that progress was slow and now I just it said straight out – Jenny hasn’t long left to live.

She should be at home with her family now, not forced to spend such precious time stuck in here. That got them moving.

: : : : : : : : : :

                        it means I can't do it for someone else.

                        To let go is not to cut myself off,

                        it's the realization I can't control another.

                        To let go is not to enable,

                        but allow learning from natural consequences.

                        To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means

                        the outcome is not in my hands.

                        To let go is not to try to change or blame another,

                        it's to make the most of myself.

                        To let go is not to care for,

                        but to care about.

                        To let go is not to fix,

                        but to be supportive.

                        To let go is not to judge,

                        but to allow another to be a human being.

                        To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the

                        outcomes,

                        but to allow others to affect their destinies.

                        To let go is not to be protective,

                        it's to permit another to face reality.

                        To let go is not to deny,

                        but to accept.

                        To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,

                        but instead to search out my own shortcomings and

                        correct them.

                        To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,

                        but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in

                        it.

                        To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,

                        but to try to become what I dream I can be.

                        To let go is not to regret the past,

                        but to grow and live for the future.

                        To let go is to fear less and love more...

So as I sat down with her she clearly explained to me what the problem was, she said you know all married couples have sex once in a while some do it more then others, and I said alright, and your point, what do you want me to do with you, this is what my wife asked me, Puzzled I said this, what do you mean what do you want me to do, she said well do you want to have sex or not?

I said no I don't want anything but your love, I don't care to have sex, Now do not get me wrong, I don't think sex is a bad thing, but I have seen too many cases where the man and even sometimes the woman, want to have sex more then usual, It clearly then becomes an obsession with having sex too much, so as I pointed this out to my wife, she said you know what I can see your reasoning in this, well what if we feel in the mood to do it, I said then lets hold back, because we can show our love in so many other ways then doing it together,

For me personally, I told her, I didn't need her to have sex with me to show me that she loved me, so we came to an agreement, and said that we wouldn't have sex, and that it would be more of a platonic relationship, I think thats the word, Platonic meaning no sex, just a relationship, ordinary yet beautiful in every way, after that we cuddled and sat watching whatever what on the television. we then headed in for the night to bed, and she leaned closer to me and said, I am glad that I can talk to you about these things, because it was really bothering me, I said well now its solved, we love eachother, and we don't need to prove it to eachother by having sex, she said I love you hunny, I said I love you too, sleep tight, she said you too babe, I will wake you up in the morning I said alright, peaceful yet inspiring night, to have my wife right next to me,

Its a wonderful thing, that my wife and I could talk about this and come to an agreement, there is a beauty that is beyond belief, that captures the hearts and minds of those we love, of being trusting within every step of the way, and honest in a relationship.

You know some people under the same circumstances that one partner didn't agree, would automatically run off and go sleep with someone else just for that moment, that wouldn't care about who they hurt in the process, its all about them, and with me and my wife, its not like that, were open and honest, and yet we come to an agreement, which makes us love eachother all the more,

I found their music at a Los Angeles show about five years ago. The lo-fi quality of the recording nearly distracted from the utter confusion of the music. Never one for experimental art, I was strangely captivated by the sound and was determined to get to the bottom of the effect. I'm no more certain today than I was five years ago what about the music was so appealing. Their set that night was three hours long and the crowded room stood in hushed awe of the cacophonous precision of their performance, the chaotic order, the ugly beauty. These, we knew, were artists - if not geniuses. They finished their set,  put away their instruments and left the stage without either the band or the audience making a sound. Our mood was somehow reverent. Even as we filed out the atmosphere remained church-like, each was lost in his own thoughts, contemplating, I suppose,  what had just occurred. I have never experienced anything like it again except in church or reading the poetry of Gerard Manley Hopkins; the mood was reverent, disconcerting, and redemptive.

After making two albums with the indepndent label Follow Fowl and an appearance  at a festival in Oregon they disappeared from the indie-music scene.  But - the reason for this post - yesterday I saw a crude poster for a band appearing at the local venue Kilby Court.  "For one night only," it read, "Stencil returns."  Along with the date (July 5) and the time, that was all the information the poster provided.  One can imagine my excitement.  I called Kilby Court in order to make certain it was the same Stencil.  It was, or is, I should say.  Saturday, I look forward to an event I thought would never happen.  Hopefully, I will blog more next week.

I love that word, FREEDOM. And I have experienced it first-hand. I have enjoyed this freedom in my work, with my family, on holidays, and in my spiritual walk as well. I have learned a lot about what the term means.

When I think about the founders of this nation, there are many examples where God, faith, and an aspiration live the values of God's Word was evident. They left us many important lessons that involved listening to each other, but not compromising that moral compass that led them to stop and worship their creator.

The scriptures state that the cornerstone or foundation of the Christian faith is Jesus Christ. Jesus was not a beaten-down-and-defeated-just-a-good-teacher figure in history. Like the buildings all over Washington DC are inscribed with Biblical passages and faith-inspired messages, God wrote His laws on the tablets of our hearts.

I love celebrating. I love FIREWORKS. I love the USA. And most of all, I love JESUS! And there will be that day that I anticipate so often, when He brings a light show that will blast us all into eternity!

For when the Son of Man returns, you will know it beyond all doubt. It will be as evident as the lightning that flashes across the sky. Luke 17:24

There is no way to cram all this into our time-limited chats...especially when we really just want to laugh and be chill in our conversations. Most of this is too heavy. (I won't go into how it used to be okay to get into the deeper issues).

I suppose that because of the way it "used to be"...I grew to expect certain things. That's always a bad idea. To expect anything from anybody. But I did. I'm learning now...especially this week, that I can't have any expectations of you anymore. Whether you want to or mean to, you will fail me sometimes. Life will get in the way of your promises. Which is exactly why you hate making them.

I'm not writing to chastise you...or to fret about the way things used to be. I'm just trying to say that I wish you were here, reading these things I write...and that you wouldn't judge me for them, or be put off by me.

I want you to know something else too. The desire to share all this with you does not stem from some romantic notion. I think, if anything, your reading these things would ensure a platonic relationship. I just want to share with you and I would like to have your input and advice.

I'm in the process of breaking the habit that is "being in love with" you...so you can rest easy that I will be "over" you soon. I will still be here...as your friend. I will always be here that way...and I hope that you will be here for me too.

I think we have a great relationship already, and pretty soon it will be even better. I'm getting things together, okay?

I'll miss you this weekend, but I will have fun...and I trust that you will too!

Platonic Love to you Mister! Hah!

Growing up, my mom joked about two things.  She passed a "really large clot" when I was born, I have never been able to get her to say if it was fibroid, a miscarriage, or what but she always joked that it was my "twin". 

Secondly, I have a brother who is 15 months older than I am.  Close enough in age to be considered "Catholic Twins".   A frequent family joke because - until we were teenagers - we were the same size and developmentally we progressed at the same speed.

When I was in my twenties and living on my own, I wanted cats.  Cats were easy to keep in an apartment.  i didn't want one, I wanted two.  A brother and a sister.  So when the opportunity