Today I tried to write and amazingly started with heartfelt lines, but more it went further, more it grapsed some sorrow. Why? Is it like this, that all kinds of fevers are clutted deep down in my soul? Noway.....I will surely write my happy poem one day!

So, today my mind (hopefully heart also) gave me these lines........

A salty hope

admixed with sparkling smile

coming out from mind of diversion

Seemly gesture given to the sunset

To welcome night of totality.

A salty moment

admixed with mysterious rollickingness

coming out from mind of mystery

Freakish behavior given to love

To welcome blizzard of perplexity.

A salty touch

admixed with insensate solace

coming out from salacious ambiance

Rueful plight given to this enigma

To welcome some unkown dead hope.

I read somewhere in some blog (don't remember now) - Kahil Gibran says there is nirvana in writing the last time of your poem. Looks like this is not the end of the poem. But what can be after this? I am unable to think. Can 'dead hope' be called nirvana?

In the quiet of a holiday morning

Gravel crunches underfoot
A man casts for fish
Cycles roll down the path
Birds chirp in the damp air
A feather falls to the ground
Rain dances on the leaves above

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]]> http://anjalipatel1.wordpress.com/?p=61 Fri, 04 Jul 2008 11:48:58 +0000 Anjali http://anjalipatel1.wordpress.com/?p=61 I talk. A lot. All my friends know that once I get started, I usually don’t shut up, especially if it involves talking about myself. As I’ve become more aware of this fact over the last few years, I’ve consciously made the effort to shut my mouth and listen more. As hard as I try, I still talk a lot, and I talk loudly.

I don’t, however, talk about my emotions. I’ll discuss anger towards politics, or happiness about going to the beach, or sleepiness when I’m exhausted. But I don’t discuss my feelings about my relationships, and I definitely don’t talk about the break-up.

I have a hard time asking for help, of any kind. I’m independent and refuse to show any sign of weakness. Because of this, I wait to express myself until I can’t hold it in anymore. Then I lose my shit for about an hour, and then I’m over it again. 

Luckily for me, I have amazing friends. Amazing friends who realize this about me. After reading this post on my blog, i am sure they will be worried about me and are there for me if I need them. They understand that talking about it isn’t my thing, and they don’t push the issue.

The thing is, I don’t mind talking about it because it makes me emotional - it doesn’t. I just don’t want to talk about it because it’s not productive. Logically, I have it all figured out. I know why he left, I know what he was thinking, where he was coming from, and that there was nothing I did to cause it (or could do to fix it). I fully understand the reasoning and I’m confident that I’m going to fall in love again and find a wonderful person and eventually will end up with The One. I know these things - in my head.

My heart hasn’t exactly caught up. It’s been a struggle to keep my head and my heart from communicating these past few months. I’ve been mostly successful, but there have been a few instances where I’ve just let it all go. This is healthy, and I don’t fight it when it comes. I just don’t want him to consume my life. I don’t let men consume my life after they’ve left me.

I just need time. I need time to think and to process and to forgive and to forget and to heal. My friends are giving me that, and I love them for it. I know that when I want to talk about it, they’ll listen. They’ll listen and not offer advice unless I ask for it. It’s not the advice I need - I give that to myself with my logical head. I just sometimes need comfort for my heart. 

Stood on the corner for a while 
To wait for the wind to blow down on me 
Hoping it takes with it my old ways 
And brings some brand new luck upon me 
Oh it’s taking so long I could be wrong, i could be ready 
Oh but if I take my heart’s advice 
I should assume it’s still unsteady 
I am in repair, I am in repair 

In Repair - John Mayer

Some people passed to the world beyond in their sleep, some are lying critically ill at the hospital and their homes while some are about to be interred at the cementry, why would you not thank and praise Allah through remebrance?

I read in an hadith that the remembrance of Allah can not be quantify in anyway as Allah alone knows its weight and reward. Please let me share this forwarded message I got from a friend with you all.

"May Allah's Love Stay In Our Hearts"

1 Minute for Allah

Step 1: Say with your heart and tongue:

*SUBHANA'LLAH

*ALHAMDULI'LLAH

*LA I LAHA ILLA'LLAH

*ALLAHU AKBAR

*ASTAGHFIRU'LLAH

*LA ILAH ILLA'LLAH, MUHAMMADUN RASULU'LLAH

*ALLAHUMMA SALLY WA SALLEM WABAREK ALA SAYYEDINA MUHAMMAD

*WA AALIHE WA SAHBIH AJMA'EEN

Step 2: Contemplate in their meaning, sentence by sentence and word by word

Step 3: Forward this to your family, friends and other people

Result 1:
Within hours you have caused a multitude of people to remember, praise and
glorify The Almighty ALLAH

Result 2:
Within hours you have caused a multitude of people to Salute, pray for and
glorify the Prophet (P.B.U.H.)

Result 3:
Within hours at least seven people would have prayed for you with Angels
saying AMEEN, INSHA'A'LLAH

NOW.......... Sit back and watch the power of ALLAH work in your life for
doing the thing that you know HE loves.

^-,._.,-^-,._.,-^-,._.,-^-,._.,-^-,._.,-^-,._.,-^-,............._...,-^-,.
_.,-^-,._.,-^-,._.,

NOW.......... Sit back and watch the power of ALLAH work in your life for doing the thing that you know HE loves. May Allah guide us all, Amen.

Today in some fields the science of November has discarded the science of February. In the basement of our great libraries are past editions of the encyclopedias which reveal the shifting change in man's opinions about science, but always the Word of God stands unchanged.

...Through all of the shifting of the hypotheses of men, the Bible stands alone in its unique position.

As the pendulum swings from hypothesis to hypothesis, as theories are advanced and discarded, the little of true knowledge that is acquired once and for all, and which is being increased grain by grain, is always in line with the truths announced in the Word of God.

Donald G. Barnhouse, The Invisible War, p70-71

Your heart is the very centre of your being.

It can become heavy and burdened when you indulge in :--

--selfishness / self-centredness / hatred / irritation / dislike / revenge /

    unworthiness / non-self-acceptance.

A healthy heart is a heart that is open / compassionate / forgiving / able to receive and give love in a balanced way.

To explore your thoughts and feelings , write your answers to the following questions in your journal.

Then act , as you are led, on your insights.

" Do you demand too much of yourself ?  Why ? "

" Do you feel others demand too much of you ? "

" Do you feel overwhelmed by the demands of others ?   How  ? "

" Do you create boundaries for yourself ?  If not, why not ? "

" Are you able to ask for help ?  If not, why not ? "

"Do you like to always be in charge /  be in control ?  Why ? "

" Do you get upset easily ?  Why ? "

" Can you govern your emotions or do they govern you ? "

" Can others easily press your buttons ?    Why ? "

" Who or what are you holding on to from the past ?  Why ? "

" Do you harbour  long-standing grievances / grudges / feelings of revenge  towards anyon ?  Why ? "

" Who or what are you refusing to forgive ?  Why ?  "

"Do you do things just to please others and then feel resentful   ? "

" Are you intolerant and impatient with others and situations in your life ?   Why ? "

" Are you still upset and influenced by past disappointments / heart break / emotional conflicts ? "

" Do you feel guilty about anything ? If so, why ? "

" Do you give to others but are unable to receive ? Why ?

" Have you lost your sense of self --your sense of who you are and your reason for being here ? "

" Do you know your purpose in life ? "

" Are you living your purpose ?   If not, why not ? "

" Do you feel unable to move forward in your life ?  What is holding you back ? "

To have a healthy heart, it must be cleared of all negative feelings and imperfections .

As well as writing in a journal, you can also use spiritual techniques , found at :--

www.askrealjesus.com                           www.mothermarysgarden.com

www.transformnet.org

In this post we explore a way of looking at your life that will help you to gain wholeness. Although based on ancient Judeo-Christian thinking it can also be found in ancient western philosophy.

How are we put together?

There is an approach to life that can help build happiness and success. It finds its roots in many of the major world religions and in ancient western thought and is also grounded in modern approaches to life management.

We are made up from four different aspects. These four combine to make the whole of who we are. Within life we should seek harmony within our self. Harmony is about achieving balance through control. When a choir is in harmony it is not because they all sing what they fancy but because they are controlled by the music (and usually the choir director). Self-discipline has always been an important part of success. Self-discipline is about control.

Now to most of us control might seem like a bit of a dirty word. It reminds us of dictatorships and nasty rules and regulations. If we had to come up with some words we associate with control I expect many of us would say stuff like: boredom, slavery, misery etc.

However think about athletes who reach the top of their game, think about business people who become very successful, think about pretty much anyone who has ever achieved anything, and you will discover that self-discipline and control played a vital part in that success. Far from being limiting and miserable self-control and discipline can lead to great happiness and success.

Now don't get me wrong here. I don't have a picture in my mind of a sergeant major barking orders at a brow beaten soldier. I mean self-discipline that is born out of knowing yourself very well and working with your self to achieve what you can. This is self-discipline not other-discipline.

Have you every tried to achieve anything and failed? Was it through lack of self freedom that you failed? Was it because you felt like you could keep going for ever but decided to give up anyway and so you did that you failed? Or was it through lack of self-discipline? Was it because you hit a bad patch and so because of the struggle you gave up?

Self-control and self-discipline are vital parts of success.

Anyway here are the four aspects that are important followed by an explanation of the control one must exert over the other:

Soul, Mind, Heart and Body.

Each aspect of life is important and each aspect exerts an influence on the other. There is a hierarchy involved in those aspects following the order shown above. This hierarchy is important and is often overlooked when people talk about finding balance in life. This hierarchy enables your self to find true balance and without it there is anarchy.

I'm afraid much of what I talk about is metaphysical. That is it about something other than the physical world. You can't see or touch these things but that does not mean they are not there. People have long believed that these things exist and have given them all kinds of names.

Let's start by thinking about the body and working our way up.

Body (the physical)

The body represents the physical side of life. It is sometimes also described as "the flesh" or "the world" etc. Without the physical we would not be born and we would be deprived of many sensations that make up an appreciation of life. However although vital in the makeup of a person the physical is the least important aspect of life. This is shown in the truth that even if we are disabled or our health deteriorates it doesn't make us any less of a person. The physical world is the domain of the scientist. How we experience the physical can have a profound effect both - good and bad - on the other three aspects of life. If you ever doubt this then go for a walk in the countryside or on a stormy day and you will see what I mean. If we suffer physically then we can also suffer mentally. Sadly many people spend an inordinate amount of time on only the physical and neglect the other aspects of life.

Heart

When we talk about heart we do not meaning the muscle that pumps blood around the body but a concept, an idea. The heart is the inner self. That part of us that feels and (together with the mind) decides. It is the seat of love and hate; joy and sorrow; peace and bitterness; courage and fear. The true character or personality of a person. The body has a profound effect on the way that our heart reacts but our heart tends to have a controlling aspect over the body. Without heart we are just existing and not experiencing life.

Mind

The mind is the thinking side of life. It is the understanding, thoughtful and reasoning side of life. Although we often think of the mind as morally neutral it can be corrupted as well as being the source of great good. If you doubt the evil nature of the mind then read a few history books to see how very reasonable people have taken evil courses. The mind gives us the ability to make plans and execute them. The mind must take precedence over the heart and the body. Sometimes our hearts can deceive us into believing that something that feels nice must be good but our minds help us to see through the gloss. There is a famous wise old saying that says "all that glisters is not gold", a reminder that our minds must take precedence over our hearts. Our mind is constantly struggling to become the ruler of all. However it needs to be kept in check or it will dominate everything making our emotional life non-existent. Thankfully our mind is not the ruler of all our parts - that honour is given to the soul.

Soul

The soul is the part of us that gives us a sense of beauty and creativity. It is the essence of being human. It is the part of us that seeks the divine and the eternal. It is the part responsible for morality, justice, understanding and appreciation. It is in essence the very core of a person and that which makes him/her alive. It allows us to see beyond the physical to understand the spiritual. For most of us in the west the soul has become the most neglected part of who we are. This is not the place to debate the reasons for this but whatever the reasons the soul is much neglected to our detriment.

These four aspects of life make up a whole. If we ignore one aspect we become less that we should be but when they work together as a whole then we become more than we might have been.

                                 -- oscar wilde, the importance of being earnest

my dear, i agree with wilde's sweet cecily

that hopelessly is rather not the right word

shall i be like othello, loving not wisely but

too well?  or like the duke of orsino, so sick

of olivia's rejections that he desired excess

of melody in order to kill the thing, his love?

high literature and music hold scores of

star-crossed lovers up for public adoration --

but ill-fated tragedy is not my style.  on the

day you take my hands for eternity, kissing

my fingers with the glittering, infinite band,

my heart shall at last sing its song for you:

i love you wisely and also well -- sanely,

passionately, devotedly, hopefully, my love

growing with each note of harmony swelling

in my heart, the reasons for loving you more

inexplicable and mysterious than the stars

this is not a question of giving back double

what i was given and then separating at trouble

but instead a union so complete as to make

removal or dissolution impossible beyond death

this is how i will love you, not in the words of

the greatest poets and playwrights our world has

known, but in simple, straightforward truths.

Untitled 

There was a time when my heart prevailed
But I lost faith
In secret rooms
So close to you
I saw the truth

For I can't abide in lies
For the peace of my mind
Is at stake....

You knew the right
You chose the wrong
Now I am left
With open wounds
Got too close to you
Now I am left, saying

I can't abide in lies
For the peace of my mind
Is at stake....

I share the blame
Twas my heart again
It fell on hope
I kept it there
Too weak to tell
Now I, must say

That I can't abide in lies
For the peace of my mind
Is at stake....

Argh, I confuse myself so much.  Or maybe i just suck at falling for the right guy and once i realize it idk maybe im too scared to really let it get to me..

ARRGGHHH i'm so MESSED UP </3

Hearts in SF, originally uploaded by crazie8ts.

Prettty <3 in Union Square. :D

Mostly he uses the internal voice. The Holy Spirit communes with your spirit within you and as long as you stay close to God and your own spirit is soft toward him, you will hear him speak to you in this way. The more that you ask for and listen for his voice, the more you will learn to recognize when he is speaking to you in your thoughts. There will be times in everyone's life when there are so many distractions around that you can't centre in on his still, small voice. That's why it is important to take time to get alone and quiet with God.

God also sometimes uses other people who are sensitive to his leading to speak to you. The important thing is to rely on God, not on your own understanding. God is happy to lead us and guide us into what is is best for us.

Remember that God wants to speak to us, to help us live better, more fulfilled and happy lives. For more information, please visit www.lusciousplace.com and subscribe to the Luscious Place E-Newsletter. 

Wendy

www.lusciousplace.com.

Carey from Parenting Tales is planning to write a review of I Will Not Be Broken, according to he post Just Call Me Critic:

I will also be reviewing a book from Survivor Corps co-founder as he writes about what he has learned from his personal struggles in life and how he was able to turn his tragedy into triumph.

Jennifer, The Army Wife blogs about Survivor Corps, Jerry White's organization, in a post titled Survivor Corps:

One of their founders, Jerry White, has recently written a book entitled I will Not Be Broken. I'm lucky enough to be receiving a copy of it from Survivor Corps, and I'll be posting a review of it when I'm finished. It talks about how to deal with adversity, and the ups and downs that life throws us all too often, and I know we can ALL benefit from some advice on that subject!

Ilori Olalekan revived a blog partially based on excitement over I Will Not Be Broken over on Parenting Cares in the post Dealing With Life Crises:

Life crises are unavoidable experiences which everyone of us must pass through. It is not to be bargained. These experiences though differing from one person to another is at the same time very similar in nature. This is why sharing ones experiences with another is of great help during these critical times, cause it infuses the courage and strength to bear the crises. Based on this truth mentioned above, I will like to introduce a book written by Jerry White, co-founder of Survivor Corps;"I will Not Be Broken Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis". This book is aimed at helping us overcome life crises.

Outwitting crisis is a blog post about the interview that Guy Kawasaki did with Jerry White of Survivor Corps over on Angel 4 Angels:

We may have all faced or are facing crisis in our lives, in varying degrees. Some of us may have survived it, others may have given in. But there is always a lot to learn from those who have suffered unimaginably but triumphed by sheer grit and self will. Excerpts from an interview Guy Kawasaki had with Jerry White, whose life changed in 1984 after he lost one leg to that lethal litter called landmine. He later co-founded Survivor Corps and went on to share the Nobel Peace Prize in 1997.

Stephen Hershey of Reality Sandwich covered Survivor Corps and I Will Not Be Broken in the blog post Reframing Survival:

Jerry White, landmine survivor and cofounder of Survivor Corps, shares his own healing process while advising those who are suffering from tragedy in I Will Not Be Broken: Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis. White seeks to turn "tragedy into triumph," encouraging victims and their families to face facts, choose life, reach out, get moving, and give back. Voices include Lance Armstrong, Princess Diana, and Elie Weisel. The first chapter is available for download.

Deborah Evens over at Paravanes: Christian Meditations writes about Jerry White's book, I Will Not Be Broken, in a post called No Middle Ground: I Will Not Be Broken:

After reading White's five steps to overcoming, I realized there is no middle ground in recovery and reclaiming. Either you forever live as a shadow of your former self, or you emerge to become greater, more lovingly creative, and stronger. If you think you're on the middle ground, you're in shadow land. Perhaps this is what the Apostle Paul referred to when he asserted "…in all these things, we are more than conquerors…" (Romans 8:37). Properly understood (meaning from God's point of view), we can not only survive our LAEs, we can "more than conquer" them.

Victor Kaonga of the blog NDAGHA writes about survivorship and Jerry White's 5 Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis:

Jerry White, a cofounder of Survivor Corps, an organization that helps victims of war and terror. Our mission, and my passion, is to help survivors heal and get on with their lives. Sounds simple, but in many places where we work, the idea of overcoming doesn't always resonate.

This sounds to be a very promising book. I should admit that though I have not read the whole book (I am under extreme pressure to survive writing…-will disclose later), I sense the book has inspiring stories that would give someone some needed strength or perspective on life as we survive.

Of course for me I wish the book clearly advocated for God's help in life because human strength alone is not adequate. I strongly believe that survivorship is not complete without God and in any case our simple survivorship is simply a foretaste of what we really need to be. We need to be thriving and not surviving.

Scott Goodson write about the Interview that Jerry White did over on Guy Kawasaki's blog on his blog, Scott Goodson's Writings in his post, Five Steps For Overcoming a Life Crisis:

Jerry White has recently published an extraordinary book (entitled "I will not be broken") which I have ordered on Amazon tonight. He is the co-founder of Survivor Corps (formerly Landmine Survivors Newwork). His changed in 1984 when he lost his leg in a landmine explosion while visiting Israel. After this experience he has championed the cause of survivorship and became a leader in the International Campaign to Ban Landmines. In 1997 he shared the Nobel Peace Prize with Jody Williams for his efforts. He recently published a book called I Will Not Be Broken: Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis. Guy Kawasaki has a wonderful posting with an interview with Jerry today.

Kathi mentions I Will Not Be Broken over on her blog in a post entitled Monday Potpourri of Things to Pass On:

I received an email about a book that looked interesting, if you want to find out more about it, it's called I Will Not Be Broken : Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis by Jerry White. I'm looking forward to reading it and will let you know what I think when I finish my copy.

Karine found I Will Not Be Broken over at Guy Kawasaki's blog and mapped it to surviving entrepreneurial failure — and how to take that feeling of being a failure and the victimhood associated and turn it around and realize that just because you have a failed experience doesn't — and shouldn't — paint you as a failure — in a post called Surviving a failed project:

I read an excellent post from Guy Kawasaki's blog, How to change the world. The post was an interview with Jerry White, the co-founder of Survivor Corps. The interview focused on the art of survival. How do you go .. a tragedy, how do you move away from that event?

It made me think about the aura that failure can give you. When you project fails, you can surrender to the failure or move on, determined to make the next project a success. You can also choose to become a victim of that failure, a let it taint the next project with defeatism.

The Interview that Jerry White did over on Guy Kawasaki's blog on his blog really resonated with Shane over at What Leadership Demands in a post called Survival:

Of all the articles and stories I read this week this one stuck with me. I am fascinated by how much of what Jerry White has learned through is own personal tragedy translates to all of us and how we go through life.

At some point we are all confronted with a "life crisis". This crisis will ultimately test our faith… the question for each of us is where, or in who, will our faith be placed? Pay specific attention to question 3. The five steps Mr. White identifies as essential to overcoming a crisis in this world looks a lot like the stages anyone would go through as they accept Christ and begin to follow him to get beyond their past without him.

Mr. White does not speak to his own personal faith journey so I can not offer an opinion on his source for his survival process. Truth, though, has only One source regardless how we think we arrive at it. He does quote the Dalia Lama but that does not necessarily point us to where Mr. White's ultimate faith lies.

Jim and Brenda Johnson wrote a wonderful post about I Will Not Be Broken on their blog, Straight, Not Narrow, in the post "I Will Not Be Broken":

That's the title of a new book which, while it is not specifically about the LGBT community, it does cover some topics that are of value to everyone, perhaps every particularly LGBT people. The information below is from the official website for the book. I was contacted and asked if I would post something here about the book, and I am happy to do so.

Bruce Tomaso of the The Religion Blog of the Dallas News wrote a very lovely post about I Will Not Be Broken entitled Landmine Survivor Writes About Coping with Crisis

Jerry White, who lost a leg when he stepped on a landmine in Israel in 1984, is a co-founder of Survivor Corps, a group dedicated to helping the victims of violent conflicts around the world. He's been active in the International Campaign to Ban Landmines, which shared the 1997 Nobel Peace Prize.

White has written a book, "I Will Not Be Broken: 5 Steps To Overcoming a Life Crisis," in which he offers his advice on how to get through tough times — the loss of a loved one, a painful divorce, a serious injury, and so forth.

Jill Army of her eponymous blog, Jill Army, plans to review I Will Not Be Broken by Jerry White — in fact, she was inspired to revive her blog partially in order to do the review! We really appreciate it (via I'm un-jinxing myself!):

I intend to begin blogging again…right after I scrub the residual sticker goo off my computer. I will be reviewing a book : "I Will Not Be Broken: Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis," by Jerry White, the co-founder of Survivor Corps http://iwillnotbebroken.org. I've already read the intro and first two chapters (thanks to the free download) and it's going to be inspirational and help so many people. I know it is something all my readers (yes all two of them …hi dad!) will enjoy and pass on to those around them that need to hear the message and take the steps. I know I will. Looking forward to blogging again.

At 8 Hours & A Lunch, Deb Owen wrote a review of the Interview that Jerry White did over on Guy Kawasaki's blog:

There's a must-read interview with Jerry White on Guy Kawasaki's how to change the world blog today that he is calling "The Art of Survival." […] I began to look for my "favorite snippet" in the interview, but the whole interview is worth the few minutes to read. It's a great perspective with applications many of us could use in multiple areas of our daily lives. Check it out.

Heidi blogs about Jerry White's book in a post called, "I Will Not Be Broken": The Book by Jerry White, Survivor Corps, on here blog, Mommy Monsters:

I have not read this book … but this looks like a worthwhile read for those who are struggling to rise above circumstances from their past or present. So I wanted to pass it on to you!

Guy Kawasaki wrote a stellar blog post about his interview with Jerry White on the Art of Survival, about Survivor Corps, and about Jerry White's new book, I Will Not Be Broken: Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis:

Jerry White is the co-founder of Survivor Corps (formerly Landmine Survivors Newwork). His life changed in 1984 when he lost his leg in a landmine explosion while visiting Israel. After this experience he has championed the cause of survivorship and became a leader in the International Campaign to Ban Landmines. In 1997 he shared the Nobel Peace Prize with Jody Williams for his efforts. He recently published a book called I Will Not Be Broken: Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis

Erin Burke of Liquid Heat wrote a forum post about the book, I Will Not Be Broken over on the forum SL Exchange:

I will be the first to admit that I am not a book reviewer or even a professional blogger for that matter. Recently a book was brought to my attention that I felt compelled to let everyone know about. The book is titled "I Will Not Be Broken" and the author is Jerry White.

It's funny how life works sometime, the person that told me about this book thought I would be interested because I work with Relay for Life in Second Life. I work with Relay for Life because on June 21, 1996 I lost my mother to cancer and it makes me feel as if I am honouring her life by hopefully helping raise money to find cures for cancer, so that someone else will be saved the pain and fear she went through and the pain and fear I have continued to go through by losing her.

I Will Not Be Broken is not a book about cancer survivors specifically, it is a book about survivors period. Survivors of any crisis that enters their life and how to live with it and overcome it. There was a line in Jerry's book that although very simple, really struck me

"They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. It's not quite that simple. I believe you have to decide it will make you stronger."

There is a very thoughtful and Buddhism-focused blog post about Jerry White's book over at Transparent Eye, I Will Not Be Broken: Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis by Jerry White:

I don't usually respond to press releases, but the one announcing I Will Not Be Broken: Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis by Jerry White interested me enough that I checked out the intro and first chapter, which are available online.

White is the co-founder of Survivor Corps who lost his leg to a land mine. The book sounds like it has a self-help orientation, and is chock full of anecdotes. He distills it into a five-point program

o Face facts
o Choose life
o Reach out
o Get moving
o Give back

My sense is that it is compatible with Buddhist notions of compassion, though oriented more toward international humanitarianism.

Speaking now from my own knowledge, studies of human happiness have shown that it has little to do with actual circumstance, and more to do with predispositions are are either genetic or developmental. People can come back from tragedy, but a key step is to loosen attachment to the way things were but no longer are(Buddha's Four Noble Truths). Once that block is overcome, finding new life goals and working toward them can provide a path to achieving satisfaction.

Sharon of The Reservoir wrote a very complete review post entitled Book Review: About I Will Not Be Broken, a Book by Jerry White:

From a leader of the Nobel Peace Prize-winning movement to ban landmines and founder of Survivor Corps comes an astoundingly effective guide to recreating a happy and fulfilling life after catastrophe strikes—a book that Bob and Lee Woodruff call "a road map for the individual and their family to re-enter the land of the living." In I WILL NOT BE BROKEN, Jerry White reframes the question "why do bad things happen to good people?" and asks, given that bad things do happen, how do people absorb the blows and move through them?

Sharon also wrote a touching and insightful personal testimonial in a post called Dealing with loss (my experience):

In November of 2006 I lost my cousin to a fatal road accident. It was even more harrowing because I had known him for little over 10 years; both families had recently become reconciled. He was also one of my favorite cousins.

It was like most deaths of that sort, a needless one. I remember when I first heard the news, the question I kept asking was why? I needed to know why it happened. He was only 24 years old, he hadn't even begun to really live life. How could he just be snuffed out like that?

I'd just been called to bar (in fact, he was buried on the same day I was called to the bar). So I just buried it deep down inside me and didn't think about it.

Then less than a year later, I met my husband to be. In telling him about my family, I started to tell him about this cousin when I felt a deep flood of emotion threaten to drown me. I started crying and just couldn't seem to stop. I cried so hard, I wanted to die. I was still asking why?

I finally dried my tears. I still don't understand why. I became a lawyer and he wasn't there to rejoice with me. I'm getting married soon and he never even met my fiance. I still haven't deleted his email address from my inbox. Many times I think I'm over it and then I feel the grief well up again; and the tears start to trickle down unobtrusively.

But I have refused to allow the grief incapacitate me. Instead I tap into it and it makes me stronger. It gives me more compassion for others, keeps me in touch with my feelings. It reminds me of my own immortality and helps me keep my priorities straight.

In my own way, I have assimilated the 5 steps to dealing with crisis in Jerry White's book, I Will Not Be Broken and made them work for me.

I know my cousin is gone and nothing I do will bring him back; not all the grieving in the world. I can't shut down because of that (he wouldn't want me to). So I have chosen instead to live and not merely exist. I get together with my brothers and his brother every now and then to reminisce about him. It keeps him alive in our hearts and we offer strength to each other. I live my life in a way I know will make him proud but more than that, the experience has made me more compassionate to others who are also grieving.

These steps are time tested and have been proven (especially in my own life). We can't stop tragedy form happening but we can overcome tragedy. However it is a personal choice. But it is a choice that can be made if the steps in I Will Not Be Broken are diligently applied.

Sandy Carlson writes about Jerry White's book, I Will Not Be Broken: Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis by Jerry White, in the post Review: I Will Not Be Broken:

The book outlines a program of five steps for coping with disaster. He draws on his experiences as well as those of famous persons such as Lance Armstrong; Diana, Princess of Wales; Christopher Reeve, the American Psychological Association, and the not so famous–his college roommate, his mom, Bosnians who survived the warn in their country, a little Cambodian girl who also lost a leg to a landmine. His drawing on the wisdom of persons from all walks of life underscores he beliefs that wisdom is a collective resource as well as an individual one and that all life is interconnected. White's book approaches the challenge of trauma positively by focusing on individual strengths rather than dwelling on what went wrong and why.

I Will Not Be Broken is an earthy, conversational, and real testament of the beauty and wonder of all life.

Burkitt wrote a post about I Will Not Be Broken by Jerry White in the the British Cancer Survivors forum:

I received an email from somebody recommending this book: I will Not be broken. I had a look at the website and I think the book is worth recommending to others, even though it was not written by somebody affected by cancer.

Carl Wilton wrote, in May 12, 2008 - Unbroken, on his blog, A Pastor's Cancer Diary, how the experience of a man who has lost his leg to a Landmine in Israel has a lot in common with someone suffering and surviving cancer. That illness and tragedy is transforming and always immensely difficult to overcome — to survive and then thrive:

I think White's conclusions can be generalized to include the experience of being diagnosed with a slowly-progressing disease like cancer. In the book, he recalls a conversation he had with Princess Diana, with whom he worked as an anti-landmine activist. Touring Bosnia and speaking with survivors, they observed that everyone seemed to have "their date." They could all state precisely on which date they had been injured or bereaved.

Many of us cancer survivors can do the same with our dates of diagnosis (mine was December 2, 2005). Before that date, we may have a suspicion something is wrong, but we still have the luxury of hoping it's nothing serious. After that date, we can never return to such naiveté. We will, forever after, be cancer survivors.

Mommy blogger, Robin, wrote a powerful post on her blog, Around the Island, Rebuilding a better world, one survivor at a time:

Until a few weeks ago, I had never heard of Jerry White, let alone known that he is a leader in the international fight against landmines. I didn't know that he has this calling because he himself lost his leg to a landmine when he entered an unmarked minefield in the north of Israel, my own country, in 1984. I didn't know about his struggle to redefine his life after his accident, to choose survival, and I didn't know that he had taken it one step further, going on to found the Nobel Peace Price-winning Landmine Survivors Network (LSN), the same organization that Princess Diana was involved with.

I didn't know that he had recently expanded LSN's mission from aiding those injured by landmines to aiding all those who are victims of the worst epidemic of all - the very preventable epidemic of war and violence. The new mission bears a new name as well - Survivor Corps - which reflects both its calling and its philosophy.

Now I know, and I am proud to help spread the word.

If you're interested in blogging about either Survivor Corps or the book, I Will Not Be Broken, pop me an email and I can hook you up.

Inside....

Schedules clash.

But somehow you don't see,
how I feel,
about you,
about everything.

I don't see the effort.
I don't see the willingness.
I don't see what's the point of hoping.

I'm tired of waiting.
I'm tired of hoping.
I'm tired of wondering when will you ever see.

I have a life to lead,
Dreams to dream,
Goals to fulfil.

When you are ready,
Come find me.

But remember,
Time waits for no man.

And soon,
I'll be gone.

It'll be awhile before I come back.
Sure it won't be long.
Together eventually as you always say.
As I nod my head and smile,
I wonder,
If you realise how much I hurt inside.

Yesterday you said something to a friend,
That I thought was sweet.
It reflected what you felt,
But did it reflect in your actions?

<<<Previous Next>>>

Ok, Peeps.

Since no one has yet voted on the survey, i will stop posting the link and stuff. The App feature on Fridays will be called Apps of the Week (Say it A-P-Ps of the week).

As a sidenote, i will soon be adding a blog to mirror this one on Tumblr. Although i will continue to post on this blog, I will have additional features (Daily music, comics, etc.) on Tumblr. I am doing this because Wordpress, while a great blogging tool for those just starting to code/blog, is too restrictive for those who would like to do some complex coding/blogging (and I'll hopefully be doing some of both). This "move" will not take place until somewhere near the end of July though. In the interlude, I will be coding and designing the blog, and probably doing some prelim posting.

Finally, I will be gone for July 16th,17th, and 18th, and possibly for the 15th,19th, and 20th as well. Obviously, there will be NO POSTING (Weep your little hearts out....please?) during the days I am gone. I'll TRY to make it up to you with my stuff on tumblr, which should be up within a week of my return.

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men. --Colossians 3:23

Were some watcher or holy one from the bright world above to come among us for a time with the power to diagnose the spiritual ills of church people there is one entry which I am quite sure would appear on the vast majority of his reports: Definite evidence of chronic spiritual lassitude; level of moral enthusiasm extremely low....

It is true that there is a lot of religious activity among us. Inter- church basketball tournaments, religious splash parties followed by devotions, week-end camping trips with a Bible quiz around the fire, Sunday school picnics, building fund drives and ministerial breakfasts are with us in unbelievable numbers, and they are carried on with typical American gusto. It is when we enter the sacred precincts of the heart's personal religion that we suddenly lose all enthusiasm.

So we find this strange and contradictory situation: a world of noisy, headlong religious activity carried on without moral energy or spiritual fervor. Of God and Men, 3,4.

"In the busyness of spiritual leadership and church activity, keep me, Lord, from boredom or burn-out. Help me to stay personally fresh in my enthusiasm for You, so that in turn I can pass that genuine enthusiasm on to the people with whom I minister. Amen."

-A.W. Tozer 2008

Whew! I feel MUCH better now;-)

While out walking this week, my father spotted a couple with two prams. Knowing this is a subject close to my heart he mentioned to me that one pram is not always sufficient for a family's needs. The couple had with them a baby and two dogs. Two Terrier-sized dogs. Quite possibly Yorkshire Terriers. One pram had the baby in it and the other pram had the two dogs in.

I forgot to ask him if it was a Phil & Teds. However, I am concerned that the two dogs in question may have been confused about dad walking around without a pram, a baby or a dog. Not to mention how confused the baby is going to be when it grows up and has to walk these dogs and begins to notice other dogs staring.

I wonder if you can get a pram which a dog can pull, like a horse and cart? You could train them to take the baby to the shops/nursery/park and post some letters while they were out.  Well, there goes another gap in the market I feel wholly reluctant to fill.

So, now, I have decided to become a bit transparent in the area of love. Who defines love in a new relationship and how do you know if you truly love someone? I am in a situation right now where I like someone heavily, although we are not in an official relationship, I find myself wanting to be.

We see each other at least once a day or every other day. We are compatible on all levels. We make each other laugh and we are supportive of each other's growth and happiness.

The issue then becomes as always in a new "like" situation, how do you know if this is love? It could be a strong infatuation or like. I have in a short amount of time seen his faults. Well, at least some of them. The funny part about it all is that with other men, those same flaws would be deal breakers. But there is something about him that makes it all bearable.

It's weird to say the least. I find myself purposely trying not to think of him so that I don't get caught up. I am giddy when I talk about him to others. The only thing now is I wonder if he feels the same way. I feel like I am in high school again when I was just starting to become interested in boys. It's all weird to me now.

This is considered psycho babble because I am not used to speaking openly about my intimate feelings with literally the world. I thought I would need to start some time soon because I have a whole book of poetry that I would like to sell to the world once I get up enough nerve to let other people that I don't know read it.

Ok, so I present to you the questions, "What is love? And how do you know when you have it for someone?"

J

         Unfortunately in the report where i first heard about the woman who killed herself on Saturday, there were too few details for my liking.  I wanted to know things like...did she have family, was she suffering from depression, did she feel guilty about being a burdeon on others who were maybe providing her some caregiving, was she destitute...was she facing eviction from where she was living at the time of her death, who was forcing her into a nursing home?  

        I wanted to know more about why this woman felt that she would choose death over a nursing home.  Are the nursing homes in Germany (in general) so bad that she couldn't stand going to one?  Was she made to feel somehow that her life had no value?  I can't imagine her thought processes.  It was stated in the newspiece that she was not ill with a fatal disease...so that wasn't it.

        I know in many cases the elderly feel that many of their life choices are taken from them such as driving priviledges, personal care, medical care, financial decision making...life is full of adjustments that are often hard to deal with.

         I just feel sad that this woman felt that there was no room for improvement in her daily life so she chose to leave the world instead.  So many of our loved ones deal with stresses that we know nothing about and sometimes it takes a bit of pushing for information on their well-being...it is hard to get in your parents or grandparents business on some level without feeling like an intruder...but, it is important that they never feel alone or overburdened by life's difficulties.  

           Remember in time, we will all be in the same place if we live long enough...how do you want to be treated at that time?   How do you make an effort to meet their physical, emotional, and financial needs?  How have you handled this stage of life with your elderly loved ones?

In Uruk the bridal bed was made, fit for the goddess of love. The bride waited for the bridegroom, but in the night Gilgamesh got up and came to the house. Then Enkidu stepped out, he stood in the street and blocked the way. Mighty Gilgamesh came on and Enkidu met him at the gate. He put out his foot and prevented Gilgamesh from entering the house, so they grappled, holding each other like bulls. They broke the doorposts and the walls shook, they snorted like bulls locked together. They shattered the doorposts and the walls shook. Gilgamesh bent his knee with his foot planted on the ground and with a turn Enkidu was thrown.

Notice that Enkidu inserts himself between Gilgamesh and a woman, creating, as it were, a sublimated sexual triangle, much as occurs in Shakespeare's Othello, in which Iago becomes Othello's "cock block" to Desdemona. And the wrestling match between the two men, who are both described in the Epic as being of exceeding masculine beauty, is not far from Shakespeare's description of sex, once again in Othello, as

[M]aking the beast with two backs.

Issues of sadomasochism, of dominance and submission, are components in all wrestling scenes, and in this case, when Enkidu is finally thrown and submits to Gilgamesh, they become bosom-buddies who love one another far more than any woman alluded to in the Epic. Indeed, it is only with the death of Enkidu (in Part 3) that Gilgamesh ever resorts to poetry to describe his emotions, opening with these three lines:

Hear me, great ones of Uruk,

I weep for Enkidu, my friend,

Bitterly mourning like a woman mourning.

The Epic also describes Gilgamesh touching Enkidu's breast:

He touched his heart but it did not beat, nor did he lift his eyes again. When Gilgamesh touched his heart it did not beat. So Gilgamesh laid a veil, as one veils the bride, over his friend. He began to rage like a lion, like a lioness robbed of her whelps. This way and that he paced round the bed, he tore out his hair and strewed it around. He dragged off his splendid robes and flung them down as though they were abominations.

In the first light of dawn Gilgamesh cried out, 'I made you rest on a royal bed, you reclined on a couch at my left hand, the princes of the earth kissed your feet.'

Though in the Epic both Enkidu and Gilgamesh engage in sexual relationships with women, it seems almost to be a cover. Their hearts belong to each other, and can almost be called a gay marriage, barely sublimated, in an ancient Mesopotamian epic, circa 2500 BCE.

Here's a 1950s military training video where the gods of eros and war are barely sublimated. There is a problem with the audio in the second half of this clip, but it otherwise illustrates the point: