Teenagers scare the living shit out of me. 

They could care less as long as someone'll bleed.

The crossing from preteen to teen (or young adult, whichever you prefer) is marked by one thing:  the considerable restriction on your life.  Or it was in my case.  As a kid, going places with your friends was no big deal--you usually had a chaperone.  However, as a kid, you don't usually make the same demands as a teen, because you don't know better.  You don't badger your parents for the freedoms you suddenly crave:  movies every weekend after dark, the ability to change plans on a whim and screw your parents over.  (I do that all the time.)  You want the freedom to express yourself in anyway you choose.  In this instance, we'll focus on artists, mainly writers.

I had discussed this with Taylor earlier and I decided to discuss it with my Hamster, to get two different views because adults and kids sometimes see things differently.  However, me, Hamz, and Taylor had the same train of thought:  "Don't let anyone tell you what you can and cannot say."  I had been upset about a message someone had sent me in response to my statement "That's gay."  They told it was NOT OK to say that, that teens do it all the time and it's not cool.  And, since I'm a teen, I deleted the message and refused to acknowledge the sender.  Because teens can be childish like that.  The world thinks we're childish all the time anyway.  While I cannot say I was RIGHT to say that, I can say that no one is going to edit their language when they are extremely flustered.  it just doesn't work that way, I'm sorry.  And I'm not going to apologize for what I said, because I don't think I need to.  (I know my friend Bsinger 1017 would find this particularily hilarious, ebcause he says GAY after pretty much everything.)

However, I do agree with Talyor on one thing:  gay sounds immature, coming from a writer like me.  Had I been a little more calm and my thoughts less clouded, I would have used a different word.  There are, much to your surprise, I know, quite a few words in my vocabluary that can express my irritation and anger.  Hamz said "...had no right.  You can express yourself!  What ever happened to freedom of speech?  Well, I know [they] have the ability to cally ou out, but online?  Isn't that why do all that online stuff?  To get away from adults who tell you what you should and should not do?"  EXACTLY.

Gay, in some ways, is the same as any "derogatory" "mean-spirited" word.  Such as bitch.  OMG!  Did I just swear. Yeah.  I did.  Because I can.

Quote from "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance

Fortunately in the past three decades many alternatives to AA have sprung up which have proven helpful for those who were unhelped by AA. This article gives a brief summary of these alternative programs. None of them require a sponsor or a Higher Power or Twelve Steps.

HAMS

HAMS (Harm reduction, Abstinence and Moderation Support) was founded in 2007 to support any positive change individuals make in their drinking habits--including safer drinking, reduced drinking, or abstinence from alcohol. HAMS welcomes all drinkers who wish to make a positive change regardless of how much or how little they may drink.

The HAMS program is based on 14 elements. These are not steps. All the elements are optional and may be done in any order. The 14 elements of HAMS:

1. Hang out and interact with other Hamsters.
2. Deprogram from the disease model.
3. Track your use.
4. Take steps to reduce harm.
5. Take steps to reduce use.
6. Do a Cost/Benefit Analysis.
7. Choose/create your plan.
8. Address any issues which led to overdrinking.
9. Honestly report your progress/struggles.
10. Learn to have fun without booze.
11. Learn to cope without booze.
12. Praise yourself for every success!!
13. Tweak the plan.
14. Don't be afraid to get back on the horse.

HAMS offers live support groups for its members as well as online support via and email group and a chat room.

HAMS is modeled on harm reduction programs for injection drug users which have had much success in curbing the harms of injection drug use. HAMS believes that alcohol is a drug and that strategies which work for other drugs will work for alcohol as well. HAMS encourages members to prioritize goals and to eliminate high risk behaviors first. HAMS is pragmatic in accepting that alcohol intoxication is a fact. HAMS is nonjudgmental in that it believes that safe intoxication is better than unsafe intoxication. HAMS members who choose abstinence do so because they feel empowered rather than powerless.

HAMS is based on research by Alan Marlatt (2002), the Open Society Institute (2004), and others which has demonstrated the efficacy of harm reduction approaches.

HAMS is organized around democratic principles--all members have a say in the governance of the organization.

HAMS has not as yet published a book--all the information about the HAMS program is available on the HAMS web site. HAMS recommends Patt Denning's book Over The Influence.

HAMS rejects the disease model of addiction.

For more information visit the HAMS web site at http://hamsnetwork.org

MWO

My Way Out (MWO) was founded in 2005 by Roberta Jewell (pseudonym). MWO offers a great deal of information about medications, dietary supplements, hypnosis, relaxation CDs and more to fight alcohol. MWO supports both goals of abstinence and moderate drinking. Ms. Jewell bases the MWO program on her own experiences with the medication Topamax (Topiramate) which has been shown in clinical trials to be very helpful in reducing cravings for alcohol.

MWO offers online support via a forum and a chat room.

The MWO handbook is My Way Out by Roberta Jewell.

For more information visit the MWO web site at http://www.mywayout.org

MM

Moderation Management (MM) was founded in 1993 as a support group for people who wish to pursue moderate drinking as a goal. The MM handbook Moderate Drinking was published in 1994. MM sets moderate drinking limits of no more than 14 standard drinks per week and no more than 4 per day for men and no more than 9 per week and 3 per day for women. A standard drink is defined as a drink containing 0.6 oz of ethyl alcohol.

The MM program is based in its Nine Steps Toward Moderation and Positive Lifestyle Changes:

1. Attend meetings or on-line groups and learn about the program of Moderation Management.
2. Abstain from alcoholic beverages for 30 days and complete steps three through six during this time.
3. Examine how drinking has affected your life.
4. Write down your life priorities.
5. Take a look at how much, how often, and under what circumstances you had been drinking.
6. Learn the MM guidelines and limits for moderate drinking.
7. Set moderate drinking limits and start weekly "small steps" toward balance and moderation in other areas of your life.
8. Review your progress and update your goals.
9. Continue to make positive lifestyle changes and attend meetings whenever you need ongoing support or would like to help newcomers.

MM offers live support groups for its members as well as online support via and email group and a chat room.

MM strongly suggests that persons who fail to remain within moderate drinking limits, who do not complete a 30 day abstinence or who score 20 points or more on The Short Alcohol Dependence Data Questionnaire (which can be found on the MM web site) leave MM and pursue an abstinence based program instead.

MM is based on research by Mark and Linda Sobell (1973, 1978), Martha Sanchez-Craig (1995) and others which demonstrated that people who did not have severe alcohol problems could be taught moderate drinking skills.

The book Responsible Drinking (2002) has supplanted the book Moderate Drinking (1994) as the MM handbook.

MM accepts the disease model of addiction for alcoholics but not for problem drinkers.

For more information visit the MM web site at http://moderation.org

WFS

WFS (Women For Sobriety) is an abstinence-based program founded in 1976 by Jean Kirkpatrick. Ms. Kirkpatrick felt that the AA tactic of "breaking down big egos" was harmful rather than helpful to women. WFS assumes that women drink because they are disempowered and offers a program to empower women and make them strong enough to quit drinking.

WFS is based in the 13 Affirmations of the New Life Acceptance Program:

1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me. I now take charge of my life. I accept the responsibility.
2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself. My first conscious act must be to remove negativity from my life.
3. Happiness is a habit I will develop. Happiness is created, not waited for.
4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to. I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
5. I am what I think. I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great. Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
7. Love can change the course of my world. Caring becomes all important.
8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth. Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
9. The past is gone forever. No longer will I be victimized by the past, I am a new person.
10. 1All love given returns. I will learn to know that others love me.
11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise. I treasure all moments of my new life.
12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life. This is what I am and I shall know it always.
13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions. I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.

WFS offers both live meetings and online support via a forum and a chat room.

WFS accepts the disease model of addiction.

For more information visit the WFS web site at http://www.womenforsobriety.org

RR

RR (Rational Recovery) is an abstinence program which takes the stance that all individuals are capable of self-recovery--no support groups, treatment centers or therapists are necessary to overcome an addiction. All that is required is a mastery of AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique). A complete course in AVRT is available free-of-charge on the RR web site. More detailed descriptions of AVRT are available in books published by RR. RR claims that groups are not only unnecessary, but that groups are detrimental and become an addiction in and of themselves. RR has taken this stance since 1994.

RR was founded by Jack Trimpey in 1986. Between 1986 and 1994 RR operated support groups which in 1994 became the basis for SMART Recovery. During this period the RR handbook was The Small Book. In 1994 Trimpey announced that the discovery of AVRT had made support groups obsolete. SMART and RR went their separate ways.

RR offers a complete AVRT course online for free, books and DVDs on AVRT, and seminars on AVRT for which there is a charge.

The core of AVRT is identifying any desire for drugs or alcohol as outside the self. All desires for abstinence are identified with the self. AVRT says "I want to abstain, IT wants me to drink." Anecdotal evidence from AVRT users suggests that it is highly effective for a number of people.

RR rejects the disease model of addiction.

For more information visit the RR web site at http://rational.org

SMART Recovery

SMART (Self Management And Recovery Training) is an abstinence program which teaches members how to use techniques from RET (Rational Emotive Therapy) and CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) to deal with their urges to drink or drug. SMART meetings are free of charge--but they are led by a trained facilitator rather than a pure layman. SMART concentrates at working on feelings underlying the urge to use.

SMART offers both live meetings and online support via a forum and a chat room.

SMART is an offshoot of RR which became an independent entity in 1994 as detailed above.

SMART concentrates on teaching its members The ABC Model developed by Albert Ellis as the basis of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT or RET).

The ABC Model is a refinement of the Stimulus Response Model. Ellis says that C, the Consequent Reaction (i.e Response) to A, and Activating Event (i.e. Stimulus) is mediated by B, the Belief System of the individual. When one changes one's Beliefs about the Activating Event then one also changes one's Consequent Reactions to the event. The ABC model is all about disputing Irrational Beliefs and replacing them with Rational Beliefs.

As a very simple example, if one has a bad day at work (A: Activating Event) one may believe that life is awful and that one might as well kill oneself (N: Beliefs) and one will have thoughts of suicide (C: Consequent Reaction). REBT teaches people to dispute the Irrational Belief and replace it with a Rational Belief such as "Today may have been hard, but tomorrow is a new day and I can start fresh". When Beliefs are changed so are Consequent Reactions.

SMART rejects the disease model of addiction.

For more information visit the SMART web site at http://www.smartrecovery.org

SOS

SOS (Secular Organizations for Sobriety - Save Our Selves) got its start when Jim Christopher published and article titled "Sobriety Without Superstition" in Free Inquiry magazine in 1985. Christopher had given up alcohol with no help from a "Higher Power" and felt that others could do the same. SOS was formally incorporated as a nonprofit in 1990.

SOS meetings have no steps and no "Higher Powers". The basis of SOS is the Sobriety Priority--the idea that abstinence from alcohol is the most important thing in life since if one fails to abstain one can accomplish nothing else. Members of SOS share tools for maintaining sobriety and mutual support at meetings. The following is an excerpt from Your Sobriety Toolkit, a brochure published by SOS:

• No matter what - there is no valid reason on earth to drink again.

• Here's sobriety - there's everything else - separate and prioritize sobriety.

• Seriousness - this is nothing less than life or death.

• Determination - there is no turning back, especially if it gets rough. You've gotten another chance at life. How many really have that chance? Sobriety doesn't fix everything, but it makes it possible.

• Information - retrain your brain; stimulate it with things related to alcoholism: books, audiotapes, videotapes, movies, pamphlets, brochures, meetings, plays, television and radio, newspapers and magazine articles, etc.

• People - human contact is powerful. Try to meet people, at least one, and be sure to meet other alcoholics. Interaction fights the old patterns of isolation.

• Honesty - this is the time to get things into the open. Get rid of the shadows and darknesses of the past. Put light on the dark things and they lose their power. Things can be dealt with reasonably when they're seen as they truly are.

• Listening - especially to people with long-term sobriety.

• Take notes - anytime; but especially in early sobriety when memory can be tricky.

• Meetings - be with people who want better lives and are taking actions to get what they want. Meetings are a good place to establish or re-establish social skills in a supportive environment. There is a lot to learn and feel in a meeting. You are not alone. You have not done the worst or been the most; there are always those who have 'bettered' you. Think about what you hear and see, but better yet is to feel what you hear and see at meetings.

SOS offers support via live meetings and an email group.

SOS leaves it to the individual member to accept or reject the disease model of addiction.

For more information visit the SOS web site at http://www.cfiwest.org/sos/index.htm

LifeRing

LifeRing split from SOS in 1997, was formally incorporated as a nonprofit in 1999, and adopted democratic bylaws in 2001. The clearest difference between LifeRing and SOS is organizational structure--SOS is hierarchically organized like a typical corporation whereas LifeRing is organized on the principles of democratic governance. LifeRing also differs from SOS in that SOS encourages abstinence from all mood altering substances whereas LifeRing only encourages abstinence from substances to which individuals are addicted. The LifeRing handbook is titled Recovery By Choice. The following is an excerpt from the LifeRing Sobriety Toolbox:

Change your self-image to a non-drinker/user. While this is much easier said than done, consider the benefits once it's achieved.

1) You don't feel sorry for yourself because you can't drink or use because you don't want to.

2) You aren't jealous of people who do drink or use because that's not you anymore.

3) You won't relapse because, eventually, you won't even get the urge.

4) You don't have to attend endless meetings to stay clean and sober.

5) You don't have to worry about never being able to drink or use again because you don't want to anymore.

6) You avoid all the baggage associated with "alcoholic" (whatever that means) because you are a "non-drinker".

How to get there:

The mind is a powerful thing controlling all our behavior. Consciously, or subconsciously, we all act on or reflect our self-image. Consider the come-from-behind victories won by Joe Montana and Michael Jordan. They knew they were going to win, their teammates knew they were going to win, and, I'll bet, even their opponents knew they were going to win. Positive thinking brings positive results.

LifeRing offers support via live meetings, an online forum and a chat room.

LifeRing leaves it to the individual member to accept or reject the disease model of addiction.

For more information visit the LifeRing web site at http://unhooked.com

References:

Alcoholics Anonymous World Services (1990) "Comments On A.A. Triennial Surveys" Alcoholics Anonymous World Services (internal document)

Brandsma, J.M., Maultsby, M.C., & Welsh, R.J.. (1980) Outpatient treatment of alcoholism: A review and comparative study. Baltimore: University Park Press.

Christopher, James (1989) Unhooked : Staying Sober And Drug-Free. Prometheus Books.

Denning, Patt (2003) Over the Influence: The Harm Reduction Guide for Managing Drugs and Alcohol. The Guilford Press.

Jewell, Roberta (2005) My Way Out: One Woman's Remarkable Journey in Overcoming Her Drinking Problem and How Her Innovative Program Can Help You or Someone You Love. Capalo Press.

Kirkpatrick, Jean (1978) Turnabout: Help for a New Life. DoubleDay.

Kirkpatrick, Jean (1986) Goodbye Hangovers, Hello Life : Self-Help For Women. Ballantine.

Kishline, Audrey (1994) Moderate Drinking: The New Option for Problem Drinkers, See Sharp Press.

Marlatt, Alan (Editor) (2002) Harm Reduction: Pragmatic Strategies for Managing High-Risk Behaviors. The Guilford Press.

Nicolaus, Martin (2006) Recovery By Choice, Living and Enjoying Life Free of Alcohol and Drugs. A Workbook. third printing LifeRing Press.

OSI (2004) Evidence for Harm Reduction. Open Society Institute.

Rotgers, Frederic, et al (2002) Responsible Drinking: A Moderation Management Approach for Problem Drinkers, New Harbinger Publications.

Sanchez-Craig, Martha (1995) Empirically Based Guidelines for Moderate Drinking: 1-Year Results from Three Studies with Problem Drinkers American Journal of Public Health, Vol. 85, No. 6

Sobell, M.B. & Sobell, L.C. (1973). Alcoholics treated by individualized behavior therapy: One year treatment outcomes. Behavior Research and Therapy, 11, 599-618.

Sobell, M.B. & Sobell, L.C. (1978). Behavioral treatment of alcohol problems: Individualized therapy and controlled drinking. Plenum Press.

Steinberger, Henry (Editor) (2004) Smart Recovery Handbook. SMART Recovery, Inc.

Trimpey, Jack (1989) Rational recovery from alcoholism. Lotus Press.

Trimpey, Jack (1992) The Small Book (Rational Recovery Systems) (Revised), Delacorte Press.

Trimpey, Jack (1994) The Final Fix For Alcohol And Drug Addiction: AVRT, Addictive Voice Recognition Technique. Lotus Press.

Trimpey, Jack (1996) Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction. Pocket.

I do not wish to harp on Audrey, those of you who know me know that I knew Audrey and was a member of MM during Audrey's Minnesota days. Even back then I was working a harm reduction plan which involved getting schnockered once a week and abstaining the other six days. Audrey did not approve, as well she should not have, as it did not belong in MM. But since there were NO alcohol harm reduction programs in those days she did not throw me out.

Where could I have gone? AA has never made me abstain--it nearly made me drink myself to death.

This is why I founded HAMS. For the many who fit neither AA nor MM nor any other approach. Many of my friends from my MM days have done excellently with MM. I am very happy for them. MM limits would have never fit me--but I am infinitely better than I was before.

MM--we salute thee for the good work thou hast done.

For those who need another way--HAMS is one possible approach.

pct

Eine weitere ganz gewöhnliche Woche ist im südlichen Israel vergangen. Beschossen von Raketen aus Hamastan im Gazastreifen, haben die Einwohner von Sderot, Aschkelon und den nahe gelegenen Städten zugesehen, wie ihre nationalen Führer über Stellvertreter Verhandlungen mit der Hamas führten, um hunderte Terroristen aus israelischen Gefängnissen frei zu lassen und die Waffen-Versorgungslinien der Hamas zu konsolidieren, indem israelische Antiterror-Operationen während einer „Waffenruhe“ eingestellt werden. Zwischen ihren Trips zum örtlichen Bunker sahen sie zu, wie israelische Lastwagen am Morgen Treibstoff und andere Versorgungsgüter an die Hamas lieferten und sie sahen zu, wie die Hamas am Nachmittag den Treibstoff und die Versorgungsgüter in Depots an der Grenze einlagerte. Am Abend sahen sie dann in den Nachrichten Berichte, die die Behauptung der Hamas nachplapperten, dass Israel den Krankenhäusern im Gazastreifen Treibstoff und Zivilisten im Gazastreifen die Grundnahrungsmittel vorenthält.

Mittwochabend versuchten sie in Sderot den Holocaust-Gedenktag zu begehen, wurden aber von einfliegenden Raketen unterbrochen. Die Hamas ihrerseits beging den Holocaust mit einer Dokumentarreihe, in der behauptet wurde, der Völkermord am europäischen Judentum sei ein satanisches jüdisches Komplott, um die jüdische Bevölkerung ihrer Behinderten zu entledigen und die Weltmedien zu manipulieren.

Die Hamas bestimmte die Schlagzeilen dieser Woche mit dem Vorwurf, Israel sei verantwortlich für den Tod einer palästinensischen Frau und vier ihrer Kinder durch eine Explosion in Beit Hanun im Gazastreifen, als die IDF Hamas-Terroristen aus der Luft beschoss. Die IDF unternahm zwei Untersuchungen, die zeigten, dass die Frau und ihre Kinder durch etwas anderes getötet wurden: eine Nachfolge-Explosion, die von den Bomben verursacht wurde, die die Hamas-Terroristen – einer davon war ihr Ehemann – zu dem Zeitpunkt mit sich führten, als die IDF sie beschoss.

Die Vorwürfe der Hamas, dass die IDF vier Kinder und ihre Mutter tötete, wurde von den internationalen wie den israelischen Meiden als Tatsache berichtet. Diese „Tatsache“ wurde erst in Frage gestellt, als die IDF ihre Untersuchungen begann. Weder die örtlichen noch die internationalen Medien fanden, dass die Tatsache, dass die Quelle ihrer Berichte die Hamas war, ein Grund wäre die Richtigkeit ihrer ersten Berichte in Frage zu stellen.

Wenn ihre Sprecher nicht damit beschäftigt sind die Juden der Planung von Völkermord und die Israelis der Ermordung von Müttern und Kindern zu beschuldigen, widmet die Hamas ihre Bemühungen der Beschuldigung, Israel töte kranke Palästinenser, indem es ihnen verwehrt nach Israel zu kommen, um dort kostenlose medizinische Versorgung zu erhalten. Da keine gute Tat der Juden von der UNO unbestraft bleibt, strafte die Weltgesundheits-Organisation (WHO) Israel im letzten Monat ab, weil es mehr als 7.000 Palästinensern aus dem Gazastreifen im Jahr 2007 kostenlose medizinische Versorgung gewährte. Indem sie die Hamas-Propaganda nachplapperte, beschuldigte die WHO Israel, es habe zwischen Oktober 2007 und März 2008 den Tod von 33 kranken Palästinensern verursacht. Sie starben, so die WHO, wegen der herzlosen Weigerung des jüdischen Staates sie in seine Krankenhäuser aufzunehmen.

Der WHO-Bericht enthielt keine Erwähnung der Tatsache, dass die Hamas jetzt die Krankenhäuser und Kliniken im Gazastreifen kontrolliert. Nicht erwähnt wurde die Tatsache, dass Israel keine Verantwortung für die gesundheitliche Versorgung von nicht seinen eigenen Bürgern aus Feindgebiet trägt; oder die Tatsache, dass es keinen Ort auf der Welt gibt, wo solche Versorgung geleistet wird – außer in Israel. Nicht erwähnt wurde, dass die Hamas aus Propagandagründen Güter für die Krankenhäuser abfängt und hortet. Ägypten wurde keine Verantwortung zugewiesen – das ist das zweite Land, das an den Gazastreifen grenzt und das keinerlei palästinensische Patienten ins Land lässt. Der Bericht stellt an keiner Stelle die Glaubwürdigkeit seiner Quellen aus dem Gazastreifen in Frage.

Andrea Levin, Geschäftsführerin des Committee for Accuracy in Middle East Reporting in America (CAMERA) stellte diese Woche in der Jerusalem Post fest, dass es nur der schnellen und detaillierten Antwort israelischer Offizieller bei der Zurückweisung der Vorwürfe der Hamas zu verdanken ist, dass Israel nicht weithin dafür verurteilt wurde kranke Menschen zu ermorden.

Der interessanteste Aspekt dieser Medienberichte besteht darin, dass die Nachrichtenagenturen, die die wilden Vorwürfe der Hamas berichten, zum größten Teil nicht einmal Korrespondenten im Gazastreifen haben. Die Angewohnheit der Hamas westliche Journalisten zu kidnappen – selbst wenn sie pro-Hamas sind – veranlasste die meisten westlichen Medienorgane ihre Korrespondenten vor mehr als einem Jahr aus dem Gazastreifen abzuziehen. Die israelischen Medien hatten keine Korrespondenten mehr vor Ort, seit Israel sich im September 2005 aus dem Streifen zurückzog.

Doch dieselben Medienorgane, die erkannten, dass die Hamas zu radikal ist, als dass man ihnen trauen könnte, sie würden das Leben der Reporter respektieren, lehnen es ab die Wahrheitsliebe der Geschichten der Hamas in Frage zu stellen und sind mehr als bereit diese Stories deutlich über den Punkt professioneller Peinlichkeit hinaus als glaubwürdige Fakten zu betrachten. In der Tat hat kein Medienorgan – weder israelisch noch aus dem Ausland – je gefragt, ob es Sinn macht, die Hamas-Propaganda überhaupt zu bringen. Sie haben sich auf jeden Fall nicht die Mühe gemacht ihr Publikum darüber zu informieren, dass die Quelle ihrer Geschichten eine völkermörderische Terrorgruppe ist, die derzeit einen Raketenfeldzug gegen israelische Zivilisten führt – deren Ziel es ist diese zu terrorisieren und zu töten, nur weil sie Juden sind.

Aber den Medien kann vielleicht vergeben werden, dass sie sich weigern zuzugeben, dass ihre Berichte aus dem Gazastreifen allgemein nicht mehr sind als terroristische Propaganda, denn sie sind bei weitem nicht allein in ihrer Ablehnung der Anerkennung der Bedeutung des Regimes der Hamas. Von Jimmy Carter über die Bush-Administration bis hin zur Regierung Olmert-Livni-Barak lautet der Tagesbefehl: Leugnung.

Carter verteidigt seine Haltung sich mit Hamas-Führern in Syrien und Judäa zu treffen mit der Feststellung, dass die jihadistische, völkermörderische, vom Iran gesponserte Terrorgruppe die palästinensischen Wahlen gewonnen hat. Da die Mehrheit der Palästinenser für die Hamas stimmte und sie immer noch unterstützt, ist die jihadistische, völkermörderische, vom Iran gesponserte Terrorgruppe legitim, argumentiert Carter. Ohne sie kann sicher keine Friedensvereinbarung getroffen werden.

Aber dann klärte die Hamas, kurz nachdem sich ihre Führer mit Carter getroffen haben, dass jeder Handel, den man mit Israel erzielen würde, lediglich eine Taktik im fortgesetzten Krieg zur Vernichtung Israel ist. Also mag es zwar wahr sein, dass ohne die Hamas kein palästinensisch-israelischer Frieden möglich ist, aber es ist absolut wahr, dass mit der Hamas kein palästinensisch-israelischer Friedensschluss möglich ist.

Weit davon entfernt die Notwendigkeit von Verhandlungen mit der Hamas zu demonstrieren, zeigt deren Popularität die Vergeblichkeit einer palästinensischen Gesellschaft eine friedliche Koexistenz abzuschmeicheln, die sich der Vernichtung ihres Nachbarn verschrieben hat. doch so, wie die Medien und Carter es ablehnen die Bedeutung des Terrorregimes der Hamas zu erkennen, lehnt es die Bush-Administration ab die Bedeutung ihres auf breiter öffentlicher Basis stehenden Unterstützung bei den Palästinensern zu erkennen.

In ihren Äußerungen am Dienstag vor dem American Jewish Committee gab Außenministerin Condoleezza Rice zu, dass die palästinensische Gesellschaft heute überwiegend Israels Auslöschung durch Terrorismus unterstützt, als sie sagte: „Zunehmend sind Palästinenser, die von einer Zweistaaten-Lösung sprechen, in meinem Alter. Und ich bin nicht sonderlich alt; aber ich bin älter als die meisten der palästinensischen Bevölkerung.“

Aber dann, nachdem sie zugab, dass die meisten Palästinenser die friedliche Koexistenz mit Israel nicht unterstützen, vertrat sie die Auffassung, dass Israel ihnen mehr Land geben muss, mehr Waffen und mehr Geld, weil, wie sie es sieht, es jetzt and er Zeit für einen palästinensischen Staat ist und die Führer „harte Entscheidungen treffen müssen, mit Vertrauen zum Wohl des Friedens und zum Wohl ihres Volkes“.

Weiter erklärte Rice, dass diese Beschwichtigung erfolgen muss, während man es dem Hamas-Regime im Gazastreifen ermöglicht im Amt zu bleiben. Sie formulierte es so: „Die einzig verantwortliche Politik besteht darin die Hamas zu isolieren und sich gegen ihre Bedrohungen zu verteidigen, bis die Hamas die Wahl trifft den Frieden zu unterstützen.“

Aus der Perspektive von Rice darf nicht nur die Hamas nicht besiegt werden, sondern es wäre unverantwortlich zu versuchen sie zu besiegen. Die einzig „verantwortliche“ Politik wäre für Israel der Hamas zu erlauben weiterhin Waffen anzuhäufen und ihre Armee aufzubauen, während man versucht eine Waffenruhe mit ihr zu erreichen. Und dann muss Israel, was Rice betrifft, seine Antiterror-Operationen in Judäa und Samaria einschränken, dortige israelische Gemeinden und die in den Jerusalemer Stadtteilen aus der Zeit nach 1967 austrocknen und von den USA ausgebildeten und bewaffneten Fatah-Milizen (die ebenfalls den Terror unterstützen) erlauben zu tausenden in palästinensischen Städten und Gemeinden stationiert zu werden. Dies, so glaubt sie, ist der beste Weg die Hamas dazu zu bringen, sich in eine friedfertige politische Partei zu verwandeln, die mit den Juden in Frieden leben will.

Was Israel angeht, so stimmt die Regierung Olmert-Livni-Barak eindeutig mit Rice überein, denn sie folgt deren Politik.

Am Mittwoch lehnte es Premierminister Ehud Olmert ab bei einem Treffen des Sicherheitskabinetts die Beteiligung seiner Regierung an Waffenstillstands-Verhandlungen mit der Hamas zu kommentieren. Als er vom Minister für innere Sicherheit Avi Dichter über seine offensichtliche Entscheidung der Hamas mit ihrer vom Iran ausgebildeten und bewaffneten Terrorarmee zu erlauben im Gazastreifen das Kommando zu behalten, sagte Olmert einfach, dass es in angemessen sei solche Dinge zu diskutieren.

Am Donnerstag berichtete die Jerusalem Post, dass die Regierung wegen des vorgeschlagenen Waffenstillstandsabkommens mit der Hamas begeistert ist und seltsamerweise behauptet, dass dies den Weg für eine zweite, damit nicht zusammenhängende Vereinbarung bereiten könnte, bei der Israel die Geisel Gilad Shalit aus der Gefangenschaft bei der Hamas auslösen kann, indem man hunderter Terroristen frei lässt.

Außerdem behauptet die Regierung triumphierend, dass die Hamas zugestimmt habe, dass Fatah-Streitkräftean der internationalen Grenze zu Ägypten stationiert werden. Aber da sowohl die Hamas wie auch die Fatah sich eines fast ungehinderten Zuflusses an Waffen durch diese Grenze erfreuten, als die Fatah dafür verantwortlich war, ist es alles andere als klar, warum das eine positive Entwicklung sein sollte.

Die einfachen Wahrheiten, die die Medien, Jimmy Carter, die Bush-Administration und die Regierung Olmert-Livni-Barak alles nicht bereit sind zuzugeben, sind die, dass die Hamas eine völkermörderische Terrorgruppe ist, die sich der Vernichtung Israels verschworen hat und dass sie den Willen der Mehrheit der Palästinenser repräsentiert, die sie 2006 ins Amt wählten und sie heute weiter unterstützen.

Diese einfache Wirklichkeit demonstriert, dass es für Israel und die internationale Gemeinschaft nur eine verantwortliche Politik gibt, die es zu unterstützen gilt, wenn sie wirklich an Frieden zwischen Israel und den Palästinensern interessiert sind. Diese Politik besteht darin, dass Israel die Terrorarmee der Hamas im Gazastreifen platt macht und ihre Regierung stürzt. Nur wenn sie gezwungen werden einen echten Preis für ihrer Unterstützung von Terror und Jihad zu zahlen – statt sie mit weiteren Übergaben von Land durch Israel zu belohnen – werden die Palästinenser gezwungen werden diese Unterstützung zu überdenken. Nur wenn sie begreifen, dass Terror sie ins Nichts führt – statt überall hin, wohin sie wollen – werden die Palästinenser gezwungen sein Israel als unabänderliche Realität zu akzeptieren, mit der sie in Frieden leben müssen.

Dichters Verurteilung der Pro-Hamas-Politik seiner Regierung am Mittwoch war nicht das erste Mal, dass der Einwohner von Aschkelon und ehemalige Kopf des Shin Bet darlegte, dass die Politik der Regierung Olmert-Livni-Barak für das Land gefährlich ist. Dichter könnte zusammen mit dem Verkehrsminister und ehemaligen Verteidigungsminister Schaul Mofaz – der die Regierungspolitik gleichermaßen als gefährlich kritisiert hat – die jetzige Situation beenden, wenn die beiden den Mut hätten entsprechend ihrer Überzeugungen zu handeln. Würden sie sich mit acht ihrer Kolelgen aus der Kadima-Fraktion der Knesset zusammentun und die Regierung verlassen, würden sie Neuwahlen herbeiführen.

Bisher aber haben sie es abgelehnt zu handeln. Bis sie es tun, ermöglichen es Dichter, Mofaz und ihre Kollegen Olmert, Außenministerin Tzipi Livni und Verteidigungsminister Ehud Barak weiterhin das Leben von Hunderttausenden von Israelis mit ihrem Getöse und Appeasement der Hamas zu gefährden. Bis sie es tun sind sie genauso wie die Medien, Carter, die Bush-Administration und ihre Regierungskollegen schuldig, der Hamas einen Persilschein auszustellen und sie zu schützen – zum Schaden ihres eigenen Landes und des Friedens.

In the category of FOOD: 

Best Milkshake - Java Express - this is a new discovery for me.  I treated Leah to a milkshake today while Hailey was at art.  It was WAY too big for a 2 year old so I HAD to sneak some tastes.  It was the perfect amount of chocolate, it was creamy without being too sweet and it was thick without feeling like you were going to suck the straw up through your brain. 

Best Appetizers/Bar Food - Local Joe's - the Potato Skins are super thick and covered in cheese and bacon and the onion rings are just right.

Best Spinach Dip - Jennifer St. Clair...but you can't just call up and order take-out from her house.  La Dolce Vita has the creamiest, but Hams wins my vote by virtue of the bacon on top.  Bacon makes just about anything better!

Best Bacon Cheeseburger (see, there's the bacon again!) - For years I would have said Big T's but Andy's wins the prize.  I just wish they wouldn't all yell hello at you when you walk in.  It annoys me.  Also try Local Joe's burgers as a wrap!

Best Frozen Mocha - Java Express.  hands down.

Best Breakfast - Waffle House - we love having breakfast for dinner!

Best Chinese Food - King Chinese Buffet

Best Sandwich - Vidalia Chicken Salad at Java Express - make sure you get it with a side of warmed potato salad.

Best Comfort Food - Dairy Bar!

In the category of SHOPPING:

Best place to buy clothes - Maurice's - cute and affordable

Best place to buy "trendy" clothes, purses, and shoes - Hallmark

Best place to buy accessories - Tie between Shops of Steele Street and Maurice's

Best place to buy gifts - Shops of Steele Street

Best place to buy art supplies - Hobby Shop

Best place to buy educational supplies - Building Knowledge

Best place to buy dance shoes - Payless

In the category of SERVICES:

Best Lawyer/Law Firm - Ed Page at Page Law Office, of course!

Best Child Care - Easter Seals UCP Stepping Stones Children's Center

Best Home Repair - RSJ Construction 

Best Heating/Air - 72 degrees - We had to get a new furnace and all new duct-work and they were awesome!

Best Realtors - Linda McNeill (Central Carolina Realty) and Shane Cox (Prudential)

Best Security System Provider - CPI

Best Car Repair Shop - Perry Brothers

Best OBGYN/Midwife - Wesley Tyler

Best Pediatrician - Andy Tuss...except he moved to TN (traitor) so the jury is still out on this one!

Best Dentist - Dr. Thomas Hincks

Best Dog Boarding - Rae-Zor Boarding, Grooming, and Daycare - finally a place our dogs LOVE to be while we are on vacation!

Best "class" for kids - Art classes by Lisa Mathis at Art Studio

Best Bargain - Gymnastics and Dance classes through Lee County Parks and Recreation

I'm sure there are plenty of things that I missed that I will kick myself for later...but I have been writing this outside on my deck and Leah just came outside wearing a shirt, panties, and two different colored socks. 

John Kanzius, K3TUP, had an idea - killing cancer cells with radio waves.  This had been tried before with poor results.  John’s experience in ham radio had taught him that radio energy (RF) can heat objects.  But his idea went further. What if the cancer cells were tricked into taking a metal target inside just the tumor cells?   John was aware of "nanoparticles."  If the tumor cells, and ONLY the tumor cells,  could be made to take in these metallic bits, and if they could then be heated up with RF, would that kill off the tumor or the patient?   Recent university animal testing gave the answer - the tumor was destroyed.  Now researchers are following John’s lead in exploring a host of life-saving applications.

13.56 MHz as a Cancer Cure?  It just might be! 

From QST - a magazine of the ARRL, the national association for Amateur Radio in the US 

In the past months there has been a lot of publicity about John Kanzius and a possible method of destroying cancerous tumors in humans using RF energy and nanoparticles.  Animal tests look very good and human testing is on the fast track.  But who is this and how does radio fit in? 

John Kanzius is a ham, K3TUP, and a cancer survivor.  He loves to build what he calls "exotic antennas" at his station.  Stacked rotating beams or a rotating tower with multiple beams was a common K3TUP antenna farm.   According to John, many well known contesters won world wide contests from his Western Pennsylvania site as guest op's.

John also is a broadcast engineer who acquired ownership of several radio and TV stations, then sold them as a group and retired to a life of leisure on Sanibel Island - or so he thought.   That dream was destroyed in 2002 when he was diagnosed with leukemia.

In between trips to the doctors, he saw the devastation cancers have on human beings and the horrors of chemotherapy's side effects.  Despite the advances in pharmacology and surgery, "cancer" was still a terrifying word.  The slow downward spiral that engulfed many lives, let alone his own situation, was summarized by John as, "…hoping we kill the cancer before we kill the person."

In October 2003 John had an idea - kill cancer cells with radio waves.  As every ham knows, radio energy (RF) can heat objects.  This was not a new idea and had been tried before with poor results.  Previous attempts, called "ablation," used needles inserted into the patient as the targets for the RF energy.  The energy would heat up the needles and cook the tissue surrounding the needle.  The problem was that it (a) used needles and (b) cooked everything, both good and bad cells.  But John's idea went further - and this is where the inspiration came.  What if, instead of needles, the cancer cells were tricked into taking a metal target inside just the tumor cells?  

Like many of us who have great ideas in the middle of the night, it sounded good to him.  But unlike most of us, he did not wait until morning.  Rather than run the risk of losing the concept in his sleep, John immediately got up in the dark and began work on possible antenna designs by cutting up his wife's pie pans. Hearing the strange noises in the night his wife, Marianne, investigated.  "What the hell are you doing?"  

John’s first attempts used copper sulfate, and his first “patient” was a hot dog.  But it worked and gave him the confidence to start asking questions of doctors in the field.  The next steps were to interest scientific researchers in the concept, build a special transmitter that could safely focus the RF energy, test it out on real tumors, find ways to trick cancerous cells into absorbing the RF target and see if it really was "too good to be true."

A much better RF target was presented in 2005 when his own personal doctor brought him into contact with Dr. Steven Curley, M.D., a professor at the M.D. Anderson Department of Surgical Oncology at the University of Texas.  Dr. Curley found the process promising and brought a present – “nanoparticles.”

Nanoparticles are incredibly small objects, usually metallic, measured in billionths of an inch.  If the tumor cells could be made to take these particles internally, and if they could then be heated up with RF, would that kill off the tumor or the patient?

John built a special RF generator for the project.  As John says, "Trying to build an array that would heat particles one billionth of a meter in length was challenging.  But building equipment all of my life was inspired by my dad, W3NRE, who was licensed in 1934."

As for attracting serious researchers, John got the interest of Dr. David Geller, a co-director at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center in their liver cancer program. 

Dr. Curley knew they were on to a major event in medicine.  "We could target specific abnormal proteins, put a polar charge on the nanoparticles and use magnets to focus them on those areas of the tumor." 

 Dr. Richard Smalley (SK), a Nobel laureate and also a cancer victim, was Rice University's expert in nanoparticles and especially "fullerenes," which are made of carbon and include tube shaped particles called "nanotubes."  When Dr. Curley first reported to Dr. Smalley that he actually had seen carbon nanoparticles get very hot when in the beam of John's RF generator, Smalley is reported to have grasped the importance immediately and exclaimed, "Holy God!" 

John is more modest about it and simply writes, "The research scientists at Rice were stunned to see that my device could heat nanoparticles at the 13.56 MHz frequency."

Dr. Smalley spent the rest of his working days on the project because he believed that this is indeed the breakthrough that had been hoped for by so many millions.  Dr. Boris Yakobson, Ph.D., continues the work at Rice.   

The rabbit didn’t die

Initial animal testing done at Rice University used rabbits.  Being careful that all scientific methods were complete with several control groups, a solution containing carbon nanotubes was injected into cancerous tumors in rabbits.  The rabbits had either pancreatic cancer or liver cancers.  Four rabbits were the primary test animals for the experiment.  After the injection, they were put into the special RF field created by John's RF generator for two minutes.   48 hours later the results were checked.  The tumors in all four had been destroyed by heat, but there was very little damage to neighboring tissues as close as 2-5 mm away.

Science is an exacting discipline.  Every aspect of a clinical trial, let alone a revolutionary finding like this one, must withstand extensive peer review and be published for others to test and duplicate.  In September 2007 John learned that the paper he co-authored¹ had been accepted and would be printed in no less than Cancer, a major oncology medical journal published on behalf of the American Cancer Society in December. 

The Future

Unfortunately, even though in vivo animal tests and human cancer cells on Petri dishes have been destroyed by this method and the technology is on "fast track," actual experiments with living human cancer victims still may be three years away.  Meanwhile he has been bombarded with offers and people wanting to make a deal for his invention. 

Work continues to progress on the procedure at the world's largest cancer research center.  John wisely patented his RF generator and formed Therm Med, LLC.  He now has his RF generators being made in a factory, so his wife's pie pans are safe again.  John is obviously optimistic about it all and credits his Amateur Radio experiences as a fundamental part of the invention process.

"If it were not for my ham radio and all the days of experimentation to improve my station, this new procedure for treating cancer, which continues to show such promising results, would probably not be on the cutting edge at the largest cancer center in the world."

In the past months others have also become excited as positive results pile up.  

###

Carbon nanotube-enhanced thermal destruction of cancer cells in a noninvasive radiofrequency field

While the full scientific paper is quite complex, here’s a brief “translation.”

John Kanzius, K3TUP, invented the experimental radiofrequency generator and the concept of using it with nanoparticles serving as targets for RF to “cook” tumor cells internally.  John is a cancer survivor, active ham and former radio station owner whose knowledge of the potential effects of targeted radio waves triggered his search for alternatives to chemotherapy.

There have been past attempts to treat cancers and related tumors using RF energy.   Most of these past attempts involved inserting needles into the tumors and using RF to heat the needles which then killed any cells in proximity to the needle, both good and bad. 

The excitement in John Kanzius’ work is the demonstrated ability to target the RF energy to specific locations by use of Single-Walled Carbon Nanotubes that release heat energy in an RF field.  SWNT’s are incredibly small cylinders with walls one atom thick.  Using water-soluble SWNT’s and injecting them into the tumor, the nanotubes are taken up by the tumor cells.  Then, using a 13.56 MHz RF field and between 400 and 1000 watts, researchers were able to heat the nanotubes, killing the tumor cells while not harming normal cells. 

The RF generator is connected to a high Q coupling system with transmitter and receiver heads which can be swiveled as needed to orient the RF direction.  The distance between the Tx and Rx heads is adjustable which changes the field size, shape and density.  They usually use an RF field diameter of about 30 cm.

The animal studies that have been completed used carbon SWNT’s injected into rabbit tumors.  The results were that there was “total cell necrosis of the tumors” while the animals has no side effects.   Current research is looking into ways to use gold SWNT’s coupled to other chemical agents that will only be absorbed by cancerous cells, allowing many more delivery options.  There are several agents possible for this and hopes are high that it can be done.

Hams will note that the nanotubes are very small.  The carbon ones are about 20 nm (that’s 20 billionths of a meter) and the new gold ones are only 3-5 nm.  Meanwhile the wavelength of 13.56 MHz is even longer than our 20 meter band.  John reports that he has devices on multiple frequencies of 13.56 MHz. and chose that because it and it's harmonics are industrial assigned frequencies by the FCC. He was assured not to be interfering with other services and his preliminary tests showed the human body to be transparent to that frequency.

There are currently several theories for the resonance of the nanotubes despite the disparity between size and wavelength.  The most supported one is that in an RF field the nanotubes organize themselves in some way, much like iron filings in a magnetic field.  They form chains which hit upon a frequency multiple and achieve resonance and heat up - In short, a “self-assembling antenna!”

The next steps are human studies and using agents that will deliver the nanotubes to tumor cells but not healthy cells.   For this step they will shift to the use of gold nanotubes instead of carbon because gold nanotubes have already been approved by the FDA for human use.  All in all, if it proves out, this could be an easy golden pill to swallow and sure beats chemotherapy!  

###

1   The primary scientific paper, Carbon nanotube-enhanced thermal destruction of cancer cells in a noninvasive radiofrequency field, was published online on October 24, 2007 and copyrighted by The American Cancer Society.  It is to appear in the December issue of their Cancer magazine.  It was written by:

Christopher J. Gannon, M.D.  (University of Texas, M.D. Anderson Cancer Center)

Paul Cherukuri, Ph.D. (University of Texas, M.D. Anderson Cancer Center)

Boris Yakobson, Ph.D. (Rice University, Dept of Chemistry)

Laurent Cognet, Ph.D.  (Rice University, Center for Biological and Environmental Nanotechnology)

John S. Kanzius, K3TUP

Carter Kittrell, Ph.D. (Rice University, Carbon Nanotechnology Laboratory)

R. Bruce Weisman, Ph.D. (Rice University, Center for Biological and Environmental Nanotechnology)

Matteo Pasquali, Ph.D. (Rice University, Carbon Nanotechnology Laboratory)

Howard K. Schmidt, Ph.D. (Rice University, Center for Biological and Environmental Nanotechnology)

Richard E. Smalley, Ph.D. (Rice University, Carbon Nanotechnology Laboratory)

Amateur Radio on the International Space Station

Ham Radio on the ISS, NASA

When astronauts, cosmonauts and mission specialists from many nations fly on the international space station, they will have amateur, or ham, radio as a constant companion. Since its first flight in 1983, ham radio has flown on more than two-dozen space shuttle missions. Dozens of astronauts have used the Space Shuttle Amateur Radio Experiment, or SAREX, to talk to thousands of kids in school and to their families on Earth while they were in orbit. They have pioneered space radio experimentation, including television and text messaging as well as voice communication. The Russians have had a similar program for the cosmonauts aboard the Russian Space Station Mir. When U.S. astronauts were aboard Mir in preparation for the long duration missions of the international space station, they used amateur radio for communication, including emergency messaging while Mir was in distress. As human space flight moves into a new uncharted era, an organization called ARISS, which stands for Amateur Radio on international space station, has been formed to design, build and operate equipment. In 1996, delegates from major national radio organizations and from AMSAT, which stands for the Radio Amateur Satellite Corporation, in eight nations involved with the international space station signed a Memorandum of Understanding to form ARISS. NASA and the Russian space organization Energia have signed agreements that spell out the place of amateur radio on the station. A technical team, called ISS Ham, has been officially established to serve as the interface to support hardware development, crew training and on-orbit operations. In the United States, the American Radio Relay League, which is also known as ARRL, and AMSAT provide leadership and consultation. They also donate and build hardware as well as making sure safety and qualification tests are successfully completed so the equipment can fly. The Russians have provided ports so that antennas can be mounted on the station's Zvezda Service Module -- the space station unit that provides living quarters for the astronauts and cosmonauts. United States and Russian teams have trained the astronauts and cosmonauts to operate the equipment. The Italian team has designed and built antennas. The German team has built sophisticated repeater stations that will allow crews to make recorded reports on their daily activities and permit hams on Earth better contacts with men and women aboard the station. The first initial radio station was flown onboard the space shuttle Atlantis on STS-106. The crew transferred the ham radio gear into the space station for future use by the Expedition One crew. The astronauts and cosmonauts will work hard on these missions, but they plan to take some time off for educational outreach contacts with schools. NASA's Division of Education is a major supporter of the amateur radio activity. The sponsoring agencies have stated that they consider access to a ham radio system a requirement for psychological support of the crews, by providing family and general contacts for people who will be in space many weeks at a time. As the international space station takes its place in the heavens, the amateur radio community is prepared to do its part by helping to enrich the experience of those visiting and living on the station.

spacecontact.mp3

SuitSat was an Amateur Radio installed inside a surplus Russian space suit and tossed out into space.  It became an independently orbiting ham radio satellite deployed by the crew of the International Space Station.  It was so much fun, hams plan to do it again!  

Do you want to be part of the international network of ground stations that help support Amateur Radio on the International Space Station (ARISS) operations? ARISS is looking to add numerous ground stations capable of relaying ISS amateur radio sessions with schools and also serve as back up communications relays should they be needed. If you are already a licensed Amateur Radio Operator and would like to be considered for selection as one of the new ARISS telebridge stations, then send an email with details about your station and contact information to ARISS-telebridge@amsat.org.  Frank Bauer, KA3HDO
ARISS International Chairman,  AMSAT V.P. for Human Spaceflight Programs 

© Frank H. Jump

But like life when we tend to be complacent of the things around us--the rug just gets pulled out from under our feet and everything is just all up in the air. That happened to me when our master was in a hurry and just grabbed a couple of my friends and accidentally knocked me off the pack. For the first time in my existence I truly felt alone (and cold) without the solace of friends (and family), no one --scratch that...no hotdog in sight to comfort me and make the void seem like it was nothing. It was also the first time in my life that I realized how lonely I was. Being the lone hotdog left in the fridge has its ups and down, I have the whole place to myself for one. The downside you mean? Waiting. Waiting for that door to open and freedom. There was a time when I also shared the place with other hotdogs --cheese dogs. Too self centered hotdogs, if you know what I mean, for them life has a different meaning and I guess for a time it was OK but eventually they all left and I was alone again.

For quite some time I tried to find happiness in all four corners of that freezer, but there were also times when I would just stare of into space and feel lonely and I kept on thinking that maybe my master has already forgotten about my existence. Wisdom came in the form of a very unlikely -- food (hehe) it was with a family of ham, all tightly packed. They saw me and befriended me, it was with them that I learned that everybody has his/her/its own time line. That everything will work out when it IS your time, and you'll know when you are already in the threshold of that turning point.

I still am alone. But much more wiser, I see life not with rose tinged eyes but in a more clearer picture.

I still am alone. But much more happier than I ever was even when I was with fellow hotdogs.

I am still alone. But I know I'll get there and when that time comes, I'll lie on the pan and remember friends and family---and that pack of hams that has given me more than what any hotdog should have. HOPE