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Your favorite songs are secretly scandalous.

glowormwithsocks — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 16:50:29 +0000

The original title for this entry? Your favorite songs are secretly dirty. But I realized that this title left out one of my favorite scandalous songs. SO I decided to switch it up a bit.

I know what you're thinking, there's no way that my favorite song is secretly scandalous. And I'll be honest, if your favorite song is a hymn or a concerto, then you're right, it's not. So you two groups of music-lovers are safe. Congratulations. Now for the rest of you. I'll prove that some of the most popular and innocent-seeming songs are scandalous, even children's songs. In fact, the children's songs I'm intending on using are fairly obvious. I'll start with them.

Children's Songs
Song #1: Puff the Magic Dragon
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee.
A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, jackie paper came no more
And puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

This song is about smoking pot. If you don't know this already, God help you. And actually, it's kind of sweet and nostalgic, because if you think about it, it's pretty much about how eventually high schoolers and college students will have to grow out of their pot-smoking hippie stage and grow up to become Republican warriors against drugs. It's almost like they're stabbing their best friend in the back when all their best friend ever did was take them on wild and crazy adventures. Luckily, stupid people will continue to reproduce, and so there will always be plenty of teens and Greek students to hang out with poor ol' Puff.

Song #2: I'll Make A Man Out Of You
Tranquil as a forest but on fire within
Once you find your center, you are sure to win
You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll make a man out of you

I have to start by saying that I love this song. I will belt it out driving down the highway, just so long as I'm going too fast for anyone in any of the other cars to hear. I mean, Donny Osmond rocks my face off in this song. But let's look over these lyrics, and then consider the context. Glance back up at them, yeah. On fire within? Once you find your center? Oh Donny, how many times did you have to record this to get a usable track that you're not busting into laughter during? Because for reals, yo. Out of context this is hella dirty. Even IN context, when we're talking about the fact that they're all army men, and that they're doing some "manly bonding" activities without women around? Yeah. Disney, thank you. Thank you for this song that is hilariously scandalous on so many levels.

Jazz
Song #3: Let's Do It
Cold Cape Cod clams, 'gainst their wish, do it
Even lazy jellyfish, do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
Electric eels I might add do it
Though it shocks em I know
Why ask if shad do it - Waiter bring me
"shad roe"
In shallow shoals English soles do it
Goldfish in the privacy of bowls do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love

I adore this song. I think it's fairly self-explanatory, which is why I picked it to follow the Children's songs. If not, then I'll help you out with a little visual. I performed this particular song at my junior year recital, staged as though I was getting ready to go out for the evening. At one point, I'm in a "bathtub" singing the verses above and winking at the audience of parents. The rest of the performance is spent in front of the mirror in a bathrobe, putting on make-up. Winner.

Soundtrack
Song #4: Run and Tell That! and Ladies' Choice
The blacker the berry
The sweeter the juice
I could say it ain't so
But darlin', what's the use?
The darker the chocolate
The richer the taste

Hey little girl take me off the shelf
'Cause it's hard having fun playing with yourself
Once you've browsed through the whole selection
Shake those hips in my direction
A prettier package you never did see
Take me home then unwrap me

We'll start with Run and Tell That!. I adore this song for so many reasons. The number one reason is that Seaweed is freaking adorable. The number two reason is that it's about "jungle fever." Basically they're saying that black men are better in bed - or more literally that they taste better, knowing cough - than white men. I don't know whether that's true or not first hand, but I have to admit that they generally ARE better dancers. The song doesn't try to hide the message behind much, which is delightful considering all the Disney Channel/Nickelodeon stars involved. They might as well have added the phrase "once you go black, you never go back." Poor little Amanda Bynes had no chance.

If Run and Tell That! was a thinly veiled message, pretty boy Zac Ephron's Ladies' Choice song isn't veiled at all. It's out there. He might as well be singing on a street corner looking like a hot trannie mess, because it's 100% obvious that he's saying he sells himself to women. My favorite part is that they go where few songs have gone before: into the forbidden realm of female masturbation. And there are plenty of girls in America who would love to unwrap Mr. Ephron. Just check out next week's Entertainment and his photo layout.

Song #5: Amazing Mayzie and How Lucky You Are
And he told me
What sort of a pill I should take...
Now I'm ......
Amayzing Mayzie!
As feathered as feathered can be now!
Amayzing Mayzie!
It was all for sale!
It was three weeks of bliss.
Then the usual segue:
He flew off to San Juan
Leaving me with this egg!
Tell yourself
How lucky you are!

So basically, the first song is talking about Mazie wanting to look her best in order to...what's the phrase? Give a guy a hummer? Yeah, and so she succumbs to the Hollywood pressures to get fixed up by a doctor and his miracle pill. Fabulous. No fake boobs for her, just the sexy, sexy feathers. Way to go, Seussical. You're like Barbie for birds. But unfortunately for Mazie, her life isn't as picture perfect as the real Barbie, because there's no Ken doll in the picture to take care of the baby. He exited stage left once they finished playing their pelvic pinochle game...okay, so he came back for rematch after rematch but then bolted after three weeks. Turns out Mazie may have won the battle but lost the not-being-preggers war. And another single mother is born. Anyone else feel like this is the true story of the mom-bird in Are You My Mother?.

Country
Song #6: She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy by Kenny Chesney
She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
While I'm chuggin along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy

Okay, so obviously, there's the whole "sexy tractor" thing. And you're thinking, what the hell - girl I don't even know her name - this isn't work. I expected better. And so you should. But I think that perhaps you're missing some of the delightful agri-rotica that is in this particular song. I mean, him driving a tractor seems a little like a game of hide-the-pickle. Tilling up the land = plowing, for you city folk. And what do frat boys mean when they say they plowed some girl last night? That's right. Let's not pretend that these people are talking about love, it's all about knockin' boots.

Song #7: Last Name by Carrie Underwood
We left, the club, right around 3 o'clock in the morning
His Pinto, sitting there, in the parking lot, well it should have been a warning
I had no clue what I was getting into
So, I'll blame it on the Cuervo
Oh where did my manners go?

This one is more about the SINGER masquerading as wholesome rather than the song. Carrie Underwood worked her way into America's heart by being that smiling southern belle who could bring any Southern Baptist worth their salt to tears with her mega-hit "Jesus Take The Wheel" on American Idol. But really, she's nothing but a huge sell-out in one way or another. Because either she's a good Christian Girl who wrote this whore song about shtooping some guy she just met to appease sexually active teens, or she's actually just a huge slut that tapped into the religious market to win America's votes. I'm hoping it's the second one. That's just better. But then again, who really knows the last names of the men that they meet anyway?

Oldies
Song #8: Build Me Up Buttercup by The Foundations
Why do you build me up (Build me up)
Buttercup baby just to
let me down (Let me down)
And mess me around

Ah, The Foundations. I'm so glad to know that they gave every man in the 60s a song to point to, as if to say, "See? Blue balls DO exist. Now let's do it." Guys. Seriously. If you're going to date a tease, then just go ahead and bring along a portable cold shower. BUT IT'S THE FREAKING SIXTIES. If you're that desperate to get laid, just score some pot and go hang out on the quad. Some nice hippie girl will come along and ask you to help her express her sexual freedom.

Song #9: Jump For My Love by The Pointer Sisters
Can feel it in your heart beat
I know you like what you see
Hold me, I'll give that you need
Wrap your love around me
You're so excited, I can feel you
Getting hotter, oh baby
I'll take you down, I'll take you down
Where no one's ever gone before

These ladies know they're hot, and they know you want them. This is a song all about the foreplay. The next time that you're trying to convince some fine young man to join you for a roll in the hay, why don't you try, "C'mere, baby. Wrap your love around me," with plenty of eyebrow wiggles. Just make sure that you wait until the appropriate temperature, don't let him get too hott, or it'll all be ruined, which means that you won't even get a chance to take him down. He'll do it himself. And unless The Pointer Sisters were huge Captain Kirk fans, I'm pretty sure that place where no one's ever gone before is a sexual reference. The possibilities for what specifically it is are endless.

Rock
Song #10: Hash Pipe by Weezer
I cant help my feelings, Ill go out of my mind
These players come to get me cause theyd like my behind
I cant love my business if I cant get a trick
Down on santa monica where tricks are for kids
Oh, come on and kick me
Oh, come on and kick me
Come on and kick me
Youve got your problems
Ive got my ass wipe
Youve got your big cheese
Ive got my hash pipe
I cant help my boogies they get out of control
I know that you dont care but I want you to know
The knee-stocking flavor is a favorite treat
Of men that dont bother with the taste of a teat

Well first of all, before we even delve into the lyrics, there's the fact that Weezer has freely admitted that the song was inspired by a male transvestite prostitute from Santa Monica. Winner, right? Now, reading through this, it's obvious what they're talking about. Men paying other men to shtup them. The trick to fooling the general public in this song was a trick employed by rappers and hip hop artists worldwide: making your lyrics indiscernible. I'm pretty sure that if 75% of the high school boys rocking out to this song every day know what it was about, they'd break their guitars and vow never to play again. Which is why this blog is a public service announcement for today.

Song #11: Don't Stop Believin' by Journey
A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night
Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin anything to roll the dice,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose

If you've ever only heard one Journey song, I'd bet my firstborn child that it's this one. For real, I kind of hate babies, it's yours. And that only makes it more delightful that people run around with this song stuck in their head all day. Because while it might at first glance seem to be an inspirational song, it's really just about a crackwhore and a gambler. I'd like to think that the message is that these two creatures can pull themselves out of the gutter, but there's always the possibility that the message is: you can win a lot of money off this guy and then buy this girl to celebrate. Even if it's the benevolent message, it's still scandalous, which makes it the perfect song for political campaigns.

Remakes
Song #12: Gin and Juice - The Gourds
As I take me a drink to the middle of the street
And get to mackin to this bitch named sadie (sadie? )
She used to be the homeboys lady (oh, that bitch)
Eighty degrees, when I tell that bitch please
Raise up off these n-u-ts, cause you gets none of these
At ease, as I mob with the dogg pound, feel the breeze

Obviously, this particular song started out scandalous. I do not need to explain why it's included. But the beauty of this particular song is that when Snoop Dogg sang it, you COULD NOT understand the words well enough to hear what was really going on. Luckily for us, with the 1996 remake by the alternative country band The Gourds, all of these lyrics are 500 times clearer. Clearly, they too had their mind on their money and their money on their mind.

Song #13: Nasty Girl by Nitty
Well honey (Whatcha got Mr. Mans)
I got a lot of money (I don't see no keys in my hands)
Could you be my nasty girl
And let me do that dirty dance witchu (If you want this give me money)
Mommy (Ooo Whee Poppi)
Shake that sexy body (Do you like what you see?)
I just wanna nasty girl
Now tell me is that nasty girl you? (I can love you long time)
I'm in the Escalade, you in the Navigator
You talkin dirty wanna serve me in the elevator
Wanna give it to me now not later
Mommy's body was a dime, can't hate her
What a brother gonna do when the bitty rolls through
Who's lookin just like Jada
We hit the elevator
Of course there's always haters
But it didn't matter yo
We were puttin on a show
Free for all your spectators

There was a time in my life that I really loved the original version of this song. But since my discovery of Nitty's delightfully skanky version of the classic tune, I have replaced the love for the original with a deep and lasting passion for the revised edition. In fact, I had to look up the names of the originators (The Archies) while working on this particular blog. I mean, they were none too shabby about their "candy girl" back in the day. I mean they were saying that they wanted her, a nice way of saying that they wanted to do the horizontal mambo...*scandal scandal* in their day. But Nitty thought that the youth of today wouldn't understand the subtle sexual undertones, and wanted to help them appreciate the true nature of the song. I mean, it's a lot easier to understand what "Ah sugar, ah honey honey you are my candy girl and you got me wanting you" means when you rephrase it as "Honey, I got a lot of money, could you be my nasty girl and let me do that dirty dance witchu." Agreed?

Top 40
Song #14: La La by Ashlee Simpson
You make me wanna lala in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your French maid where I meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream

Alright, though I find this song absolutely delightful and addictive, I have to say that it's also equally as degrading as any song I've heard from the rap/hip hop genre recently. Basically, Ashlee Simpson is saying that she finds you so terribly attractive that just being around you makes her want to show you her O face (don't get it? Rent Office Space.) She'll do you anywhere, any time, any place. Just tell her how you want it, and she'll do it. In fact, isn't her hubby supposed to be a vegetarian? So shouldn't that alley cat line be a little...you know, inappropriate? I'm assuming that you can figure out what she's "drink[ing] up"But hey, if she loves it that much, I'm sure Pete Wentz will take that bullet.

Song #15: Crank That - Soulja Boy
Super Man Dat Ho
Then Watch me Crank Dat Robocop?
Super Fresh, Now Watch Me Jock
Jocking On Them Haterz Man
When I Do Dat Soulja Boy
I Lean To The Left And Crank Dat Dance
(Now You)
I'm Jocking On Yo Bitch Ass
And If We Get The Fightin
Then I'm Cocking On Your Bitch
You Catch Me At Yo Local Party
Yes I Crank It Everyday
Haterz Get Mad Cuz
"I Got Me Some Bathin Apes"
Soulja Boy Off In This Ho
Watch Me Crank It
Watch Me Roll
Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja
Then Super Man Dat Ho

Ah, youth. What I love about this song is that not only is this a dance that children of all ages can do (I've heard of a preschool class learning of it. Actually, I'm 100% sure that they learned it. From one of my friend's mom.) but it's written by one of the youngest songwriters of all time. Soulja Boy was only 17 when it became a hit, although he had written long before. So let's explain exactly what this youngster is talking about in his filthy, filthy song. I had actually planned on publishing this with all of the gory details, but I called a play change in the last seconds before the snap. Meaning that I couldn't bring myself to hit "publish" with these words on the screen. Therefore, I've instead made a list of the terms that you should look up on www.urbandictionary.com. For your homework, please search the following: "superman," "crank dat," and "robocop." Extra credit for writing them in example sentences. Educate thyself.

Song #16: Wannabe by the Spice Girls
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.
So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me
you gotta listen carefully
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face,
we got G like MC who likes it on an
Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,
and as for me..ah you'll see,
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and wind it all around.

This song is simply riddled with double entendres. Did I know this when I was 9 years old and was given this album as my very first CD? OMG, of course not. I mean, I understood that The Lady Is A Vamp song was scandalous, but the subtleties of this song were lost on me. Let's look at the above type. How many of us ladies have ever had a guy take and not give in return? Yeah, that's what I thought. The Spice Girls are not going to put up with that. We'll help you out, but damn it, you'd better help us out, too. None of that "I don't know how, but I really appreciate you doing it for me" crap. I'll be honest and say that I'm not 100% sure about what all of the rapping section means...but I do know that Easy V not coming for free means one of two things: 1. She expects the guy to take her out for a nice evening before he actually "takes" her (and David Beckham has the means to do it) and 2. She's a hooker. With Mel B, clearly she is very into exchanging DNA, but who knows what SHE likes? There is a way to find out. All you have to do is slam your body down and wind it aaaaaall around. Sexay.

Song #17: Kiss From A Rose - Seal
There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea.
You became the light on the dark side of me.
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.
But did you know, That when it snows,
My eyes become large and The light that you shine can be seen.
Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grave.
Ooh,The more I get of you,
The stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grave.
There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say. You remain,
My power, my pleasure, my pain, baby
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny.

And here it is. The song that inspired the blog. When I was in high school, we were taught how to analyze poetry. There are a few ultimate truths in poetry. A flower, for example, will always always represent sex, or a woman's "gift." My friend and I somehow ended up discovering the truth about this song by way of this analyzing tactic, as songs are simply poems set to a tune. We'll go slowly. Line by line.

A graying tower alone on the sea means he's turned on alone, creating his own waves in his waterbed at night.
Love remained a drug that's the high means that he enjoys being in love, and probably making love as well.
The completion of a sexual act, spreading the seed, the achievement of the American dream, whatever, is when it snows.
I think that his eyes come alive because in reality he's falling in love with a woman, the light you shine is actually the reality that this woman cares about him. And who isn't in love with a person who is in love with them?
A kiss from a rose on the grave, otherwise known as the title of the song, is basically referring to deflowering someone when you're not a virgin yourself. The grave is the "let down" time after an orgasm, and if you've had an orgasm, you're probably not so much a virgin, not completely anyway.
And now that your rose is in bloom, a light hits the gloom on the grave. = Now that you're old enough to do it, we're totally going to have sex, and I'm ready even though I've had an orgasm before and you maybe haven't. Woot.
I'm pretty sure that if there is so much a man can tell you, it must be about sex, or you can just read a book instead. Actually, you can just read a book for the sex info, too...so Seal lied. I don't need a man's knowledge, but I do like other things they have.
What is sex if it's not power, pleasure, and pain?
A grown addition that I can't deny is a topic that we might want to ask David Duchovny about.

Have I ruined this terribly romantic song for you? That was my goal.

Well, that's it, folks. It's been a long, hard point to make, but I think that I've finally reached the end of this dark tunnel. Time to...slip the pencil into the wallet, put the car in the garage, . Okay I'm done now. But seriously. Now that you know that all your favorite songs are scandalous, you might as well listen to the blatantly dirty ones as well. I recommend "Control" by Nine Inch Nails, "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo" by the Bloodhound Gang, and "Hot White C**" by Liz Phair.

PS: I think you all should know that this article took forever to research and finish, but I enjoyed the researching. I have increased my sexual vocabulary, which I didn't think was possible. You learn one new thing every day, I guess...I found this while doing research. My favorites that I didn't get to use are:

The Blitzkrieg Bop
chim chiminy, chim chiminy, chim chim charoo
doing the no-pants dance
doing the oompa loompa
fig leaf removing
Hunting the Chukaberra
insert tab A into slot B (DIY has never been so hott.)
insider trading (ex. "Let's make like Enron and do some insider trading.")
playing with dinosaurs
snoo snoo
the magical embrace

Fabulous. http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Sexual_innuendo

Official Table Tennis Rules

maverickcranev — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 02:42:58 +0000

Resources on Official Table Tennis Rules :

[PDF]
Table Tennis - usatt.org - The Official Web Site of USA Table Tennis

Official site. Includes a list of local clubs, tournaments, rules of the game, online magazine, and more.

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Official Rules of Table Tennis

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Table Tennis Rules - PongWorld

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Table Tennis Manufacturer provides Official Rules(Ping Pong)and Regulations

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How to Play Table Tennis, Ping Pong

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Official Table Tennis Rules - Megaspin.net

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Table Tennis Books - Megaspin.net

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University Game Room & Corner Pocket - Table Tennis Rule Book

Official Rules of Table Tennis. Quick Reference. The Table. The Net. The Ball. The Racket ... Match Officials. Doping. Betting. End of Page. 1. THE TABLE ...

www.gmu.edu/gmu/game_room/tabletennis.htm
University Game Room & Corner Pocket - Rule Book

Billiards. Rules for 8 Ball Billiards. Rules for 9 Ball ... Table Tennis. Official Table Tennis Rules. Table Soccer (foosball) The United States Table Soccer ...

www.gmu.edu/gmu/game_room/rulebook.htm
Table tennis rule - Official rules by ITTF

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Table Tennis Rules

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Table Tennis Rules

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Pool Rules

Official Pool Rules. Information on the Official Pool Rules including Official 8 Ball Pool Rules ... Rule Books Pool Rules Snooker Rules Table Tennis ...

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Table Tennis Dayton - Hardbat Table Tennis Official Rules.

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www.tabletennisdayton.com/pages/ttinfo/hardbatrules.html
Table Tennis Dayton - U.S.A.T.T. Official Rules

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www.tabletennisdayton.com/pages/ttinfo/usattrules.html
The Official ITTF Laws of Table Tennis - Ping-Pong Rules

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Table Tennis - The Official Website of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games

Official site of the tabel tennis competition at the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing. ... Competition rules. Playing conditions. Equipment. List of ...

en.beijing2008.cn/cptvenues/sports/tabletennis/index.shtml
Table Tennis - The Official Website of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games

Competition Rules. Competition Format. List of Events ... Yaping Deng The biggest obstacle in Deng Yaping's Table Tennis career was not her opponents ...

en.beijing2008.cn/sports/tabletennis/index.shtml
Ping pong and table tennis official rules

A basic guide and quick reference to the offical rules of table tennis. ... made this way, but double check with officials if you plan to play competitively. ...

www.essortment.com/hobbies/tabletennispin_sbjw.htm
Rules

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Sport Info

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Official Rules of Table Tennis/Ping-Pong

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The Rochester Table Tennis Club

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The Rockstar Games presents Table Tennis Contest

www.rockstargames.com/tabletennis/contest/officialrules.htm
Table Tennis

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Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis Tournament and Sweepstakes

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Table Tennis, Ping Pong, Pictures, News, Players, Rules, Tournaments

... best sites for table tennis. ... North American Table Tennis - The official site with news and ... USA Table Tennis - Rules of the Game - The official laws ...

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How To Play Table Tennis | How To Do Things.com

The following are official rules for playing table tennis. Duration. ... a hard time staying above table-level, so this rule might come as a surprise to you. ...

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Northern Virginia Table Tennis Club: What: Rules

Official Table Tennis Rules: Pongworld's Table Tennis Rules. ITTF's Laws of Table Tennis ... Paddle Palace: ITTF rule on Long Pips. Paddle Palace: ITTF ...

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Cairns Table Tennis Association - Official International Table Tennis ...

table tennis - the game. playing fees. playing times. facilities. hall hire. board ... THE LAWS OF TABLE TENNIS. Includes changes made at Osaka AGM April 2001 ...

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Rules of Table Tennis

Rules of Table Tennis. Official table tennis games are played for 11 points. ... Take a look at few common errors in Table Tennis: ...

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The official freeweb Table Tennis site � The professional freewebs ...

Rules of Table tennis. worlds best players. My Game (offensive) The defensive game ... welcome to the fantastic world of Table Tennis AKA ping-pong ...

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USA Table Tennis - Rules and Officials Committee

USA Table Tennis - Umpires & Referee ... 2004 Rules (Officials) Committee Report. Championships and Pro Tour ... ITTF New Service Rule (Official Text and Videos) ...

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USATT Officials Committee Homepage

USA Table Tennis - Serving the Table Tennis Community. USATT Rules (Officials) Committee ... ITTF New Service Rule (Official Text and Videos) ...

www.midy.com/~usatt/usatt
Table Tennis

Official Message Board. Table Tennis: Saturday, June 29 8:30 am - 4:00 pm ... by USA Table Tennis Association rules (http://www.usatt.org/rules/index.shtml) ...

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Sport - Table Tennis

Table tennis is an official sport of the Paralympic Games, Special Olympics ... Click on "sports" then choose "table tennis" from the drop-down rules menu. Equipment ...

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How to Play Ping Pong/Table Tennis - wikiHow

... to the official International Table Tennis Federation (ITTF) rules, the right to ... rule" is that if your serve bounces twice on your opponent's side of ...

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Table tennis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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Official (tennis) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Tennis officials are certified by their respective national association. ... IV.D Table 9 from Friend at Court, The USTA Tennis Rules and Regulations Handbook ...

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Table Tennis Rules

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Dartmouth.Table.Tennis :: Rules of the Game

... playing area, kicking the table or surrounds or disrespect to match officials. ... the assistant umpire or a separate official may act as stroke counter to count ...

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All Table Tennis

All you need for Table Tennis ... Table tennis is the not the most popular sport in the ... Table Tennis Official Rules. Table Tennis Equipments. Recent Posts ...

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table tennis: Definition from Answers.com

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Terrapin Table Tennis Home

Home. Club Calendar for 2006. About The Officers. Official Table Tennis Rules (Warning: PDF file! ... Welcome to Terrapin Table Tennis! TTTC NEWS ...

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Table tennis

... instituted several rules changes aimed at making table tennis more viable as ... Diagram of a table tennis table showing the official dimensions ...

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October 9, 2008

sizzlemaker — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 15:44:05 +0000

[caption id="attachment_10" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="HSM 3 IS COMING!"][/caption]

Hugh Hefner and The Girls Next Door: Holly and company have broken up with the notorious playboy. One of their gripes: 82-year-old Hugh wouldn't get married or have kids with them. Shocking considering he's been so committed in the past.

Brooke Hogan: Hogan has declined an invitation to pose nude for Playboy--though she may in the future. After all her family's troubles, shouldn't her goal be to not attract attention?

Brangelina: Brad likes Angelina. Angelina likes Brad. They've proven that much already. Do we really need to see a picture of Angie breastfeeding--taken by Pitt--to realize this? The creepiness factor just went up a notch.

The Hills Take New York: L.C. pal Whitney Port is fleeing sunny California for the big bad city of New York--and a comfy gig with Diane von Furstenberg. If only it were that easy--or fake--for the rest of us!

HSM 3: Midnight movie tickets have gone sale. Do you have yours yet?

Nick Jonas: The only thing stopping Mr. Flatiron from zooming around on his new motorcycle? The proper license. Let the betting begin: how long before he has his first crash?

STILL SIZZLING: Which wannabe starlet says the pending assualt charges (from an altercation with another wannabe) against her have "destroyed" her family? As they say, that's the price of fame!

Hairspray, the Musical

derdo — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 16:00:53 +0000

The musical Hairspray will be shown at the Star Theater (CCP Complex) this November. For tickets to the opening night on November 14 and for the November 23 show, please refer to the following letter from Stewart Ong:

Dear Friends,

We are selling 2 shows of the Broadway and movie-hit musical HAIRSPRAY on November 14 (Friday) and November 23 (Sunday). It's a great show, winning 8 Tony Awards in Broadway. It's also being produced and directed by the same group as Rent, Avenue Q and Cinderella. Venue will be at the Star Theater, CCP Complex, 8pm.

For ticket and show inquiries, you may email me (song1@jnjph.jnj.com) or SMS me directly (+63917-8735412)
Best to confirm early in order to reserve good seats!

Thanks!

Stewart also shared Hairspray's casting as follows:

HAIRSPRAY CASTING

TRACY   Madel Ching
EDNA   Michael de Mesa
LINK   Tim Espinosa
SEAWEED   Nyoy Volante
PENNY   Monica Reynoso
AMBER   Christine Allado
VELMA   Menchu Lauchengco-Yulo
MOTORMOUTH   Dulce
WILBUR   Leo Rialp
CORNY COLLINS   Noel Rayos
FEMALE AUTHORITY   Ana Bitong
MALE AUTHORITY   Gabe Mercado
INEZ   Precious Lee Viloria

WHITE ENSEMBLE

ENSEMBLE #1   Mark Tayag
ENSEMBLE #2   Anthony Ong
ENSEMBLE #3   Reb Atadero
ENSEMBLE #4   Red Concepcion
ENSEMBLE #5   Francesca Borromeo
ENSEMBLE #6   Crienna House
ENSEMBLE #7   Margarita Laurel
ENSEMBLE #8   Bea Garcia

BLACK ENSEMBLE

ENSEMBLE #9/DYNAMITE   Emerita Alcid
ENSEMBLE#10/DYNAMITE   Erika Cedilla
ENSEMBLE#11/DYNAMITE   Pam Gumabon
ENSEMBLE#12   Michael Melvin Odoemene
ENSEMBLE#13   Gerlin Francisco
ENSEMBLE#14   Jordan Aguilar

Ticket Prices:

P1,200 (Rows A to I)

P1,000 (Row J to S)

P800 (Rows T to X)

P600 (Rows Y to Z)

I can safely assure those interested that Stewart delivers in the literal and figurative sense. We obtained tickets to West Side Story and were very much satisfied by his and his friend's "brand of service".

About Hairspray the Musical

manilatheater — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 13:46:25 +0000

Atlantis productions will be staging the Broadway-hit musical HAIRSPRAY here in Manila this November 2008.

I'm selling tickets to 2 playdates of Hairspray:

November 14 (Friday, opening night) and November 23 (Sunday)

Ticket prices at 1200, 1000, 800 and 600.

For ticket reservations, please e-mail or text (SMS) me at:

E-Mail: song1@jnjph.jnj.com

Cellphone: +63917-8735412

To those who are unfamiliar with Hairspray, here are some info about this hit musical:

Hairspray is a musical based upon the 1988 John Waters movie, with a book by Mark O'Donnell and Thomas Meehan, music by Marc Shaiman (who co-wrote the music and lyrics for the acclaimed animated musical, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut), and lyrics by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman.

It is the Winner of 8 Tony Awards including BEST MUSICAL.

The songs in Hairspray include 1960s-style dance music and "downtown" rhythm and blues.

The Plot

This bebop musical tells the fun, flouncing story of "a big girl with big dreams - and even bigger hair" who sets out to desegregate the local TV dance show. In 1962 Baltimore, Maryland, plump teenager Tracy Turnblad's dream is to dance on The Corny Collins Show, a local TV dance program. When Tracy wins a role on the show, she becomes a local celebrity, and in the glee and glitz of the early 60's, teaches a few lessons about tolerance, understanding, and cosmetics to the TV audience.

Theater Run

The musical's original Broadway production opened in 2002 and won eight Tony Awards out of thirteen nominations. As of April 2008, it has played for over 2,300 performances. Hairspray has also enjoyed U.S. national tours and numerous foreign productions. The London West End production was nominated for a record-setting eleven Laurence Olivier Awards, winning for Best New Musical and in three other categories.

Movie Adaptation

In 2007, Hairspray was adapted as one of the most successful and popular movie musicals starring John Travolta, Zac Efron, Queen Latifah and Michelle Pfeiffer.

Family-Friendly Musical

Family Rundown: This show is certainly family-friendly fare.

Winner of Several Tony Awards

Tony Award for Best Musical
Tony Award for Best Book of a Musical
Tony Award for Best Original Score (Music & Lyrics) Written for the Theatre
Tony Award for Best Costume Design (William Ivey Long)
Tony Award for Best Direction of a Musical
Tony Award for Best Scenic Design (nominee)
Tony Award for Best Lighting Design (nominee)
Tony Award for Best Choreography (nominee)
Tony Award for Best Orchestration (nominee)

Critics' Response

“An exuberant new musical has been fashioned from John Waters's 1988 film about Baltimore teens at the doorstep of integration in the early sixties. So many numbers in Hairspray bring down the house, it's a wonder the Neil Simon Theatre is still standing after the final curtain.” --- New York Magazine

"...this sweet, infinitely spirited, bubblegum-flavored confection won't be lacking for buyers any time soon. Arriving in an aerosol fog of advance hype, it more than lives up to its promise." --- Charles Isherwood, Variety review

"So what if it's more than a little pushy in its social preaching? Stocked with canny, deliriously tuneful songs by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman and directed by Jack O'Brien with a common touch that stops short of vulgarity, 'Hairspray' is as sweet as a show can be without promoting tooth decay. ...[it] succeeds in recreating the pleasures of the old-fashioned musical comedy without seeming old-fashioned. ...Shaiman...is taking the infectious hooks and rhythms from period pop and R&B and translating them into the big, bouncy sound that Broadway demands.... And while the savvy arrangements... nod happily to Motown, Elvis, Lesley Gore ballads and standards like "Higher and Higher," the score's appeal isn't nostalgic. It's music that builds its own self-contained, improbably symmetrical world...." --- Ben Brantley

For ticket reservations, please e-mail or text (SMS) me at:

E-Mail: song1@jnjph.jnj.com

Cellphone: +63917-8735412

Free delivery in certain areas within Metro Manila.

Hairspray Manila (Tickets now available!)

manilatheater — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 12:37:10 +0000

Atlantis Productions, the same company that brought you Rent, Dreamgirls and Avenue Q, now brings the BIG FAT Broadway Musical Hit, HAIRSPRAY, live in Manila!

Hairspray is based upon the New Line Cinema film written and directed by John Waters, with a book by Mark O'Donnell and Thomas Meehan, music by Marc Shaiman, and lyrics by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman. It is the Winner of 8 Tony Awards including BEST MUSICAL.

In Hairspray it's 1962 - the '50s are out and change is in the air. Baltimore's Tracy Turnblad, a big girl with big hair and an even bigger heart, has only one passion--to dance. She wins a spot on the local TV dance program, "The Corny Collins Show" and, overnight, is transformed from outsider to irrepressible teen celebrity. But can a trendsetter in dance and fashion vanquish the program's reigning princess, win the heart of heartthrob Link Larkin, and integrate a television show without denting her 'do? Only in Hairspray! Welcome to the '60s!

The musical features an original score by Marc Shaiman (who co-wrote the music and lyrics for the acclaimed animated musical, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut) and Scott Wittman. Their songs take Tracy from the soundstage of a 60's-style dance show to the streets of Baltimore to a downtown rhythm and blues record shop.

Hairspray has also become one of the most successful and popular movie musicals starring John Travolta, Zach Efron and Michelle Pfeiffer.

Manila Cast

For the Manila production, the cast includes

Madel Ching as Tracy Turnblad
Tim Espinosa as Link Larkin
Noel Rayos as Corny Collins
Michael de Mesa as Edna Turnblad
Menchu Lauchengco-Yulo as Velma Von Tussle
Dulce as Motormouth Maybelle
Nyoy Volante as Seaweed J. Stubbs
Leo Rialp as Wilbur Turnblad

Showdate:

November 14 (Friday) - opening night

November 23 (Sunday)

Ticket Prices:

PhP 1200

PhP 1000

PhP 800

PhP 600

Venue:

Star Theater, CCP Complex

For ticket inquiries or reservations, please contact Stewart Ong through:

E-Mail: song1@jnjph.jnj.com

Text: +63917-8735412

Free delivery within certain areas in Manila. COD basis.

Reserve early so you can get good seats!

Guida Tv: i film in prima serata

cartoonmagmovie — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 10:00:31 +0000

21.00 Sky Cinema Max

Bad Company - Protocollo Praga (USA/Repubblica Ceca, 2002)
di Joel Schumacher con Anthony Hopkins, Chris Rock, Matthew Marsh, Kerry Washington
Commedia

21.00 Sky Cinema Mania

Al passo con gli Stein (USA, 2006)
di Scott Marshall con Daryl Hannah, Jami Gertz, Daryl Sabara, Garry Marshall, Jeremy Piven, Doris Roberts
Commedia

21.00 Steel

Ghost Dog - Il codice del samurai (USA, 1999)
di Jim Jarmusch con Forest Whitaker, John Tormey, Victor Argo, Isaach de Bankolé, Henry Silva
Drammatico

21.00 MGM Channel

Giorni di rabbia (USA, 1988)
di Ernest Thompson con Robert Downey jr., Kiefer Sutherland, Bruce Dern, Winona Ryder
Drammatico

21.00 Sky Cinema Classics

La città prigioniera (Italia, 1962)
di Mario Chiari, Joseph Anthony con David Niven, Lea Massari, Ben Gazzara, Martin Balsam, Michael Craig
Guerra

21.00 Sky Cinema 1

Sms - Sotto mentite spoglie (Italia, 2007)
di Vincenzo Salemme con Vincenzo Salemme, Giorgio Panariello, Luisa Ranieri, Lucrezia Lante Della Rovere
Commedia

21.00 Sky Cinema 3

Il bacio che aspettavo (USA, 2006)
di Jon Kasdan con Meg Ryan, Adam Brody, Kristen Stewart, JoBeth Williams
Commedia

21.00 Rai4

Million Dollar Baby (USA, 2004)
di Clint Eastwood con Clint Eastwood, Hilary Swank, Morgan Freeman, Jay Baruchel, Mike Colter
Drammatico

21.00 Raisat Cinema

Hair (USA, 1979)
di Milos Forman con John Savage, Treat Williams, Beverly D'Angelo, Annie Golden
Musicale

21.00 Mya

Blonde Ambition (USA, 2007)
di Scott Marshall con Jessica Simpson, Luke Wilson, Rachael Leigh Cook, Penelope Ann Miller, Andy Dick, Drew Fuller, Larry Miller, Willie Nelson, Piper Mackenzie Harris, Ritchie Montgomery
Commedia

21.00 Iris

Sentieri selvaggi (USA, 1956)
di John Ford con John Wayne, Jeffrey Hunter, Vera Miles, Natalie Wood, Dorothy Jordan
Western

21.10 Retequattro

Arma letale 3 (USA, 1992)
di Richard Donner con Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Rene Russo
Azione

21.15 Sky Cinema Hits

The Guardian (USA, 2006)
di Andrew Davis con Kevin Costner, Ashton Kutcher, Sela Ward, Melissa Sagemiller, Adam Peña, Joe Arquette
Azione

22.30 Mya

Autumn in New York (USA, 2000)
di Joan Chen con Richard Gere, Winona Ryder, Anthony LaPaglia, Elaine Stritch
Drammatico

22.35 MGM Channel

Le bianche tracce della vita (USA, 2000)
di Michael Winterbottom con Milla Jovovich, Peter Mullan, Wes Bentley, Sarah Polley, Nastassja Kinski
Western

22.40 Sky Cinema 1

Hairspray - Grasso è bello (USA/Gran Bretagna, 2007)
di Adam Shankman con John Travolta, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Nikki Blonsky, Zac Efron, Amanda Bynes
Musicale

22.40 Sky Cinema Mania

Centochiodi (Italia, 2007)
di Ermanno Olmi con Raz Degan, Luna Bendandi, Amina Syed, Michele Zattara
Drammatico

22.45 Sky Cinema 3

Ladro e gentiluomo (USA, 1989)
di Bill Forsyth con Burt Reynolds, Casey Siemaszko, Sheila Kelly, Lorraine Toussaint
Avventura

RENT. Six. (Post-RENT|IN THE HEIGHTS)

Kristoffer — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 00:19:44 +0000

It's been one week since I saw Rent's final performance in the movie theater. I have seen five shows (all but one were musicals or near-musicals) since then, not to mention another near-musical and another play last week. And they all, in some way, can be tied back to Rent in my head. I'll go one by one here (actually, now that I think about it, I'll list them here and split them into smaller discussion posts; contentcontentcontent), and I'll ask you to remember that I'm not reviewing anything here--just tossing out some personal thoughts cultivated in the glow of my reexaminations of the Rent experience. These are the shows:

In The Heights
Hairspray
Boom Bap Meditations and the break/s (both part of the Hip-Hop Theater Festival that I'll discuss together)
Rock of Ages
Close Ties and Man For All Seasons (very different plays that I'll discuss together)

So that's the list. And I'll start, fittingly, with a show I've already discussed semi-intensively here: In The Heights. This is what I wrote about the show right before The Tonys, which was right after I saw it for the first time:

In The Heights made me cry, and made me cry repeatedly (well, not cry, but tears in my eyes intermittently from the moment the music started), not because of the touching stories of love and acceptance and keeping life going in the face of all kinds of hardships (because honestly, the storylines are nothing we haven’t seen before), but because–and forgive the emotion here, but the emotion is really the point–GOD DAMN IT THOSE ARE PUERTO RICAN FLAGS UP THERE, and Dominican flags, and some Mexican and Cuban, and that’s Washington Heights, and it’s really Washington Heights, and that dude is starting the show by rapping, and it’s good rapping, really good rapping, really real rapping, and there’s a b-boy, and a real b-boy, and the Spanish fits, and no pare, sigue sigue is just, it’s just, god damn it, it’s perfect. And we’re not gang members or drug dealers or even Lothario Latin lovers–we’re people, hard-working people who struggle with gentrification and self-worth issues and questions of leaving home and putting our pasts behind us to succeed or clutching madly to keep them close and push us even higher.

And I was in the audience on Mother’s Day, and this, I can’t stress this enough, this is what I want Latinos to do on Mother’s Day, I want them to go see In The Heights, all dressed up, full families, and I want them cheering when the lights go down, and I want them cheering and “oooooh”-ing when Nina and Benny kiss on the fire escape, and I want little Puerto Rican and Dominican boys to feel like Usnavi is looking right at them when he’s rhyming the way I felt like John Leguizamo’s Miggy was looking right at me all through Spic-o-Rama. And you know what? I’ve got tears in my eyes (just barely, son, just barely) even right now–right now–as I’m writing this.

And all that is still there in a big way, although I wasn't overwhelmed with the emotion of the whole thing this time around, probably because I had seen it and was prepared (and maybe because I was trying to be cool in front of Kitt Kittredge, who I was with this time instead of my mom, in front of whom I have no need to look cool). The pride is embedded in the piece, and I still think that's the second biggest legacy this show will leave when all is said and done (the first being its incredible use of hip-hop within a full-on dramatic context--I'll come back to this idea when talking about the break/s and Boom Bap Meditations later in the week/future). But the thing I didn't originally recognize about the show -- the thing I actually got completely wrong the first time around -- was this:

It's a really good show.

I think I overvalued the impact that all those Puerto Rican flags had on my enjoyment the first time around. I credited the show for a solid understanding of Broadway musical storytelling structure, but kind of downplayed the effectiveness of the story's specifics. I wasn't even convinced that the songs (outside of the couple of big showstoppers) were entirely new, exciting, or hummable. I was wrong on most, if not all counts. It's a good show, a strong show getting great performances that smooth over any trouble spots for sure, but it's well put-together and (and I hate using this word) universal somehow -- you don't have to have firsthand knowledge of Puerto Ricans or Dominicans or hip-hop or The Heights to get it. If you go with it, you'll dig it. You'll probably love it.

(The problem of universality, we might have discussed before, is a major point of contention for many writers of color. Our work, if it goes to "mainstream" audiences, is expected to "transcend race/ethnicity" so it can be consumed by the population at large. In other words, your "average theatergoer" (I'm euphemismising away) needs to see/relate to your Puerto Rican characters as something other than (more than?) just Puerto Ricans -- they need to be "real people." I think when I state it that way, "euphemisms" and all, it's easy to see exactly what the problem with that "thinking" "is". Okay, those last two weren't euphemisms at all. I'll talk more about this soon--specifically when we spend some time on those plays mentioned above.)

Point is, this show does the "universal" thing without compromise. It tells a good, easy to follow story, and it tells it well, and it happens to tell it through cultural forms associated with young Latino folk. That's no small accomplishment. it's what I attempted to do with Welcome to Arroyo's (and if any of you reading this haven't read that play, it's being published next year, so there's your chance), only my story is a little messier and militant and maybe particular to one culture. Lin-Manuel and Quiara and team have succeeded in not giving up the flavor while making the meat a little more tender and palatable for all-to-most tastes. That's a good thing.

That night, there was a couple sitting directly in front of us (and Britney Spears about ten rows up and over), and they were white, and they were older (maybe my parents' age), and they were reacting semi-loudly throughout the show, trading thoughts back and forth in that "ooh, I'm enjoying this" kind of way. It was good to see.

And how does this all tie to Rent? Two things that I've mentioned here before:

1. Spring Awakening, some say, is the logical heir to Rent's fans, and I'd say that's at least partially right. But some of us, we kind of needed a show about young folks in New York City to come along and fill the void Rent is leaving behind. We needed a multicultural show. We needed a show that, for all its perceived toughness in form and music, is an old-fashioned musical at heart. That's Heights.

2. At the Tonys, the original cast of Rent came out onstage and sang, and the audience applauded...but Lin-Manuel gave them the standing ovation they deserved, shortly after giving the coolest acceptance speech ever. And it's fitting, because as much as Rent's artistic success is tied up in its creator's backstory, so is Heights'. Historians are going to look back on this year's ceremony and say "Paulo Szot? Really?"

This is now my longest post ever, I think, so I'll stop and sum up by repeating all I really wanted to say about this topic anyway:

Go see In The Heights.

Mark your calendars for From Paris With Love

Mr Hollywood — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 15:15:29 +0000

Director Pierre Morel (Taken) has recently started shooting From Paris With Love, a thriller starring John Travolta (Hairspray) and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers (The Children Of Huang Shi). Written by producer Luc Besson (Taken) and Adi Hasak (Shadow Conspiracy), the story follows a young US Embassy employee who teams up with an American secret agent on a dangerous mission.

Pierre Morel's first film District B13 (original title Banlieue 13) was all badass action and no plot, but Taken, which you should really check out, turned out to be one of the year's best surprises, so if he continues in that vein, I'm quite looking forward to From Paris With Love, which should premiere in France by the end of 2009.

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