I always believed that what we are is essentially a choice that we make. Our life is marked by milestones, consisting of the choices that we made till today. There is something called comfort zones. I think its so hard to get people out of their comfort zones. By comfort zones I mean all the beliefs, habits and values that they have build up over time, from childhood. So essentially everything that you choose is based on your beliefs and the value system that you have imbibed.

But now and then we are willing to give up on all these beliefs, give up all our values. What makes us do that. Essentially its one of our emotions. It requires an emotion very powerful to move us. It could be love, anger, lust, hatred, jealousy, anything. Sometimes we are slaves in the hands of these emotions.

Scientifically, these emotions are just chemical imbalances within the brain, which trigger neuro-activity that drives us. It is very difficult to accept that what we feel is just chemical reactions happening within our brains. But Science keeps proving it is so. Emotions are driven by our thoughts. Thoughts stem from beliefs and values that we hold. This was my understanding of how we control our lives.

I believe in science. But feel that science currently cannot explain lot of things... What about people who have lost their mind??.. (eeks let me skip this, we'll talk about this another day) Duality theory (particle and wave nature) of electron, Schrödinger's cat thought experiment, non-linear systems, chaos theory. The essence of quantum mechanics states that, results vary based on what is observed. This indicates that our understanding of things are not perfect. This gives raise to a humility that I completely subscribe. Albert Einstein, talks about this humility, which is somewhat religious, though not in the traditional sense.

For a small ant, a stretch of sea shore might appear infinitely long, the same ant, if we assume is sitting on top of a tree, might be able to see that its just a small part of the land mass, which goes to indicate based on what we are capable of seeing, what we understand is completely different. Someday science will be able to satisfactorily explain lot of things.

Astrologically, what happens is predetermined, based on your karma. You could plan everything in minute detail and end up with everything happening according to its own plan. You could do all things that you deem should be done in order to attain something and still see that it never materializes. You could be willing to give your 100%, yet not even 1% is wanted.

According to him, transition is a phase when your life literally seems out of order and things that happen appear beyond comprehension. I cannot fully accept his points, but do believe if something has to happen it will be happen at all costs. Essentially he forced me to rethink on lot of my beliefs.

I believe in God. That makes me a theist. But I also believe that the question if God is there or not can never be answered, at least in the time I am. That makes me agnostic. I believe in prayers and miracles, thats theist again. I don't support the theory of rituals, that makes me largely atheist. I believe in Love and soul-mates, that makes me meta-physical. I keep pondering over the structures of consciousness, thought, reality, ego, so on and that would make me philosophical. I believe that perception is the key to understanding, that make me Phenomenological. No wonder I could not accept astrological concepts.

This power is to help you say No to your wants and to Say yes to your needs.

Well that is what I had to do this morning.

For a while now reading the word of God and praying qualitatively have been almost impossible. I yearn to get back to the time I had precious moments with the Word of God.

This morning I woke up but like it has been for a while now the desire to stay in bed instead of getting up to read and study the word was very strong.

The fact that I had to call in my will power and say no to my want was glaring at me.

It wasn’t exactly easy to do, but I did finally get up and I was able to read a portion of the word.

I wish I can say that am back to those precious moments I had before, but that won’t be true.

The main thing is that I have started the journey to where I want to be and I have stared to use my will power and am now saying No to myself.

I hope to keep doing that and keep getting better till I get to my destination.

The help of the Holy Spirit is avalible and I intend to tap into that help in this struggle.

But now, I'll have to put those habits aside. There are tasks that need to be done and my laundry has been waiting several weeks and many hours.

"Well", I said, "I do about 400-500 various kinds of crunches when I work out".  Her mouth dropped open.  "Whoa", she said.  I told her that I didn't start out with that many.  I added a little at a time and now it's not difficult.  And, it's something she could do if she wanted to.  It only takes about 15 minutes three times a week.  A small investment for a flat stomach.  Besides the ab work,  I run 3 miles three times per week, do some strength and flexibility work, and choose carefully what I eat.  Stuff anyone can do, really.

You don't get something for nothing ( my Mom taught me that).  And, nothing gets done only wishing and thinking about it.  Anything worthwhile takes some work.  We all know that.  I have heard comments like: "You are really lucky", or "I wish I could eat what you eat and be that thin" (usually a comment heard when I occasionally eat a dessert).  Well, I'm NOT lucky, and if anyone ate what I eat, they would probably be about the same weight.  That fact is that fitness doesn't happen by accident.  It's a conscientious choice every day.  And, everyone can attain a measure of it depending on what they're willing to do.  And, it is a lifelong choice.  I weigh less now than I did in college, and am in better shape too.  But, it is because I have changed my daily habits one at a time over lots of years.  The cumulative effect of all those choices has been great. 

You can do it!  And don't think it is beyond your grasp.  There's nothing magical about it.  Search out good health habits.  Take your very worst habit and change that first - it could be finding a healthy alternative to chips or soda.  Or, it could be getting up off the couch and taking a 20 - 30 minute walk every day.  There's plenty of information out there on what to do, but it won't help unless you do it.  Start today!  You CAN do it!  And, somewhere down the road you'll hear someone say, "boy, you sure are lucky"!  And you'll say to yourself "lady, this is no accident"......

It would be easy if the addictions had simply to do with drugs, booze and fags… but more often than not they aren't. The above three come into our life stay with a fact in bold that they are ruining us and however many we take in we know we have to kick them out and most people can. The hardest part is to want to kick it and no one doesn't want to when given a reason to.

It is when we reach a point and discover that their exists this thing that has become us and try as we may it doesn't leave. There's no high and there isn't a gain it could bring us and yet it resides around us and within often eating us up and hurting as hell.

This could be anything…some are addicted to their ego… bigger than themselves…housing on their top, making all decisions… they know they don't need it and know they should let go and take the others in… but it's stuck and bound.

It could be a habit… that just came along, strolling beside as you walked ahead and suddenly the actions get dictated by it… and often the body and health too. You didn’t ask for it and didn't want it but you didn’t ever fight it … till it kicked you through and now you're fighting. There are days it lies knocked out and then days you've been blown apart too. So goes the tussle.

We aren't invincible and realising that might save us this time, we wasted in ignoring.

Bad habits and engraved disorders always bring one down…be it out of pain or well… worse than pain…

Addictions never end well. And I think we don't kick the bad habit till we hit rock bottom. And yet the hope lives on cause from rock bottom, there's just one way… and that's up.

To those who realise it soon, I hail thee and those who choose to ignore… I pity thee.

]]> http://mortality.wordpress.com/?p=795 Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:02:19 +0000 Mortality http://mortality.wordpress.com/?p=795 Friday I woke up around 3-4Pm, had a shower and made my way over to Linda's place. There we got dressed and fixed make-up and drank wine and hung out with people xD Then it became time to go to the club^^ I love clubbing! And this day they had a fun theme, White Night. Basically everyone dressed in while and they have a bunch of black lights in the club so everyone pretty much shine.

Lot's of people I know was there. Among others someone I'd prefer not seeing again. But I managed to ignore him pretty well :)

Tony was there too! He's been in Afghanistan for about two months (and now he's gone back..Stupid army!) so I hadn't really seen him for a while. He's got a girlfriend now! It was the first time I met Pixie, even though we've both been regulars at this club for a long time. She was really nice and he didn't ditch me for her so I was happy :)

Pixie knows Tony and me had sex a while ago, but she's fine with that :) So she won't be getting all jealous and stuff which is good. Tony is one of my closest friends and I would hate to lose him over some girl. Instead I think I gained a friend :D

When the club closed at 3AM I went to work xD I got there still wearing my party clothes and my boss was pretty amused. When I got off work he asked me if I could do some over time, but he was just joking. He knew I'd been out clubbing before xD

As I was reading another blog, Michelle wrote about her efforts to change her negative behaviors into more productive ones.  She cited the behaviorist notion (more a correlated truth than theory now) that it takes 21 days to create a habit.  I learned this in Human Growth and Development classes years ago while taking nursing, but it took me a minute to realize this woman was talking three weeks (3 x 7 = 21, duh!), which is how I learned it.  Her determination got me to thinking (for she's earnest about change) about my own habits.

"Baby steps to the door..."

The B. F. Skinner experiments on behavior development pointed toward three weeks to create a habit and six to break it.  This means that if we are to extract a bad thought pattern that has taken years to create ruts of thoughts in our minds, it might take a lifetime of effort to fill in that rut and redirect our thinking to another grooved pattern.  Yet her goal of living intentionally mirrors the need for change all of us have in us.  The one thing I've learned (and I think she inferred) from my own life is that it takes small victories at first to win the war.  So, whatever time it took to make a habit, it will take twice as long to break it, if I remember my class accurately--which is always a question to be taken into consideration.

"Baby steps to the..."

Many of us think that if we can't conquer a habit or attitude in one fell swoop, we have failed, when in actuality this isn't how we develop a habit or conquer it.  I always refer to the movie "What About Bob" because in a most hilarious way they present a truth that goes beyond just comedy and realize the truth of how we grow.  It takes small steps out of the hospital after recovering from a surgery, or none at all if we leave in a wheelchair, and once we go through therapy for whatever bone, muscle or procedure we had done, the bigger steps come naturally.  We will ignore "Death therapy" for now.

In other words, we have to develop those big bites of accomplishment rather than merely expecting ourselves to blow past it without effort.  Yet this is exactly what is needed to be able to win the war.  On the other hand, developing a good habit speeds up the process of change especially if it replaces an old one.  Og Mandino, in a book called "The World's Most Successful Salesman", said,  "I will make good habits and become their slaves..."

As our lady above intimated, we are creatures of habit and unless we set up new ruts of behavior, our old ones will dominate.  This may take longer than we want, but the results are worth it.  I believe we also need to lighten up sometimes because we take ourselves and the world too seriously.  I read recently a corrolation study which indicated that cancer patience who kept a positive attitude healed at a higher rate than those who gave into despair and anger.

I want to change my life's outlook and accomplish many things before my dime is up (sorry, now it's 35 cents) so I'm not willing to remain in a stupor or mind-numbing habits for the sake of just getting through.  No, I want to live the adventure and if this life is all there is against all hope to the contrary, I want to have lived with gusto, loved madly, made love in every sense of that word with all my heart, soul and mind, and given those who come after me an example of living to inspire them to do the same.

Thanks, Michelle, for making me think about this again.

I've yet to talk to her so I thought I'd ask you.  I never clip anymore.  I did back in the day when the boys were young though.  I used to get a little thrill when they were double for anything under a dollar.  Or buy one, get one free.  I can remember when my mother in law would shop at three different stores a week and would only buy something at one store or the other if it was under a penny different.  No matter what, she bought the product at the cheapest price.  My husband does use coupons for my cigarettes though.  But hey, they come in the mail.  I don't have to go on a hunt to find them. 

 But that's a lot of money.  Mind you, I would never go from store to store to store to store nor would I "look" for the coupons either.  My time is to valuable and all that jazz.  I guess you can go to websites and print them out.  Wow, I didn't even have a computer way back when.  When things were tight and I was feeding two boys who were always hungry, I would go through the Sunday paper and clip them out for Cub and  Rainbow which where I lived, were right across the road from each other and go and get the "free" thing of the week and use all the good coupons but I haven't done that in years.  That's as far as I went.

I've also seen women like this on Good Morning America and shows of the like and it seems to me they spend all their time looking for these coupons and then going from store to store.  I would never have wanted to do that.

Do you do this??  Do you know anyone like this??

I have been out of circulation in the blogosphere due to preparations for the Encampment and recovery from it.  My plan was to make sure that the Encampment was at least as successful as it has been in the past with Thom's direction and to make sure that we remembered our departed friends in a fitting way.  I think we succeeded.

I have much to blog on regarding the Encampment.  I will get it posted as I am able.

First of all, I have an oath that the Knights asked me to write for the squires and pages.  Actually the idea was Thom's and he had planned to write it himself.  As a former scout master he wanted to model our oath on the Boy Scout Oath.   Well, he never got an opportunity to write it so I did.

But before I get to that, I want to say a little about what I taught the boys over the weekend.  I spoke about virtue and how the Latin root vir means both virtue and man.  In other words, virtue is manliness.  Men are supposed to be strong.

I also told them that virtue is a habit, a good habit.  Bad habits are easy to form.  They are usually pleasurable and we repeat them frequently without any effort until they become second nature.  Virtue is also second nature, but the formation of the habit of virtue is difficult, because its consistent repetition is difficult. Virtue most often goes against our ease and requires us not to seek our immediate pleasure but a goal difficult to obtain.

Just as with anything else, our success in matters of virtue depends on our motivation.  If we are motivated to become a good athlete, we will put ourselves through all kinds of inconvenience, as St. Paul says: Athletes exercise self-control in all things; they do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable one (1 Corinthians 9:25).  How often are we willing to torture ourselves for ephemeral goals, when for eternal life we are willing to do so little?

True manliness is something that has to be cultivated.  It takes practice.  Much more effort is required to be virtuous than to ride a skateboard, play a video game, or excel in baseball.

Men and boys need to be challenged.  They need to see the adventure of ordinary life.  Real manliness means to be responsible for one's actions.

I pointed out to the boys that virtue was second nature to Marc Girard, so that when he had no time to think, his first instinct was to save his sister and go back into the water for his father.  He was going to come up with his father or not come up at all.  He died a hero, because he lived a life of virtue.

So conclude my talk with the boys, I told them to do four simple things, consistently, as a matter of virtue: 1) make a morning offering everyday; 2) examine your conscience and make an act of contrition every evening; 3) treat your mothers with respect; 4) treat your sisters and other girls with respect.  I told them that if they did these four things, they would acquire virtue.  I also told them that these four things were not a synthesis of the spiritual life, but that I knew these things are particularly what they need to do as boys who are becoming men, and that if they did do them, then other important matters would fall into place.

On Saturday night after they recited the oath, I asked them to tell me the four things I had asked them to do. Then I said that the oath was the fifth thing, a kind of sacramental by which they could supernaturalize their motives and seek the grace of God.

So here is the oath:

The following is to be recited by both pages and squires:

By my honor I will strive to the utmost
To live according the ideals of Marian Chivalry;
To serve Christ and His Most Holy Mother,
And to defend the faith and the Church;
To seek the fellowship of good men,
And to hearken to their words;
To be humble and courteous,
And to serve the weak and the needy.

The following should be added by squires only:

To be chaste in thought, word and deed;
To see to it that no lady or damsel be brought to reproach through my fault;
To draw my sword only in the interests of truth and righteousness.
And then with courage and without retreat.

Pages are the boys from ages 6-12 and squires are the boys from 13-17.

I know that the oath is long.  It is a synthesis of our Marian spirituality and an medieval knights oath.  I am interested in your comments.  I suppose it could be synthesized further, but not too much further.  This oath cannot be as generic as the Boy Scout oath, since our organization is not as generic as the Boy Scouts.

In any case, the oath as it stands does embody the spirit that should belong to the Pages and Squires.

We have to turn boys into men--real men.

Apple takes pride in its history of innovation and thoughtful design. But technological leadership goes beyond what’s in the box. How we impact the environment is also important to us, and environmental considerations are an integral part of Apple’s business practices. From the earliest stages of product design through manufacturing, use, and recycling, we take care to keep our activities and our products environmentally sound.

At first glance, it would seem as though Apple was doing what is known as "greenwashing", or claiming that a product is environmentally friendly (even if the production process is not). After taking a look at their A Greener Apple Web site, however, one will notice the many environmental actions that Apple has taken over the last few years. According to their site:

Apple became the first company in the computer industry to completely eliminate CRTs. The effect has been stunning — our first CRT-based iMac contained 484 grams of lead; our current third-generation LCD-based iMac contains less than 1 gram of lead.

As you may or may not know, lead is contained in most older cathode-ray tube computer monitors (the large, bulky kind). What you may not know, however, is that lead, is a poisonous metal that can damage nerve connections and cause blood and brain disorders. By eliminating lead from their products, Apple has been keeping this poisonous element out of or landfills and out of our homes.

What really impresses me, however, is the future plans that Apple has to further reduce their impact on the environment. Their products already meet the Restriction of Hazardous Substances restrictions on cadmium, hexavalent chromium and brominated flame retardants, and they have plans to completely eliminate the use of arsenic in all of its displays by the end of 2008. In addition, Apple plans to eventually eliminate the use of mercury by transitioning to LED backlighting for all displays.

In addition to the large number of chemicals Apple has eliminated from their products through the years, they have also implemented a recycling program for e-waste. According to the Web site:

Apple started recycling in 1994 and today we operate recycling programs in countries where more than 82% of all Macs and iPods are sold. By the end of this year, that figure will increase to 93%.

The best part of Apple's recycling program is that none of the e-waste that is collected by Apple goes overseas for disposal. All of the waste that is collected is processed here in the United States, which cuts down on transportation costs, and lowers the company's overall carbon footprint, making them an environmental leader in the computer industry.

I do not own an Apple computer, but I am highly impressed by even the small steps that Apple Computers have taken to make our planet a little greener. From designing their products under the requirements of programs such as Energy Star, to placing an emphasis on energy efficiency, Apple has set a good example that all computer companies should follow.

You see, losing belly flab is a boring process. It requires time, hard work, and most important, dedication. Take the right steps every single day, and you'll ultimately carve out your six-pack. But if you stray from your plan even a few times a week--which most men do--you'll probably never see your abs.

The solution: six simple habits. Think of these habits as daily goals designed to keep you on the fast track to a fit-looking physique. Individually they're not all that surprising, but together they become a powerful tool.

The effectiveness of this tool is even supported by science. At the University of Iowa, researchers determined that people are more likely to stick with their fat-loss plans when they concentrate on specific actions instead of the desired result. So rather than focusing on abs that show, follow this list of nutrition, exercise, and lifestyle strategies for achieving that rippled midsection.

1. Wake up to water
Imagine not drinking all day at work--no coffee, no water, no diet soda. At the end of an
8-hour shift, you'd be pretty parched. Which is precisely why you should start
rehydrating immediately after a full night's slumber. From now on, drink at least 16
ounces of chilled H2O as soon as you rise in the morning. German scientists recently
found that doing this boosts metabolism by 24 percent for 90 minutes afterward. (A
smaller amount of water had no effect.) What's more, a previous study determined that
muscle cells grow faster when they're well hydrated. A general rule of thumb: Guzzle at
least a gallon of water over the course of a day.
2. Eat breakfast every day
A University of Massachusetts study showed that men who skip their morning meal are
4 1/2 times more likely to have bulging bellies than those who don't. So within an hour of
waking, have a meal or protein shake with at least 250 calories. British researchers
found that breakfast size was inversely related to waist size. That is, the larger the
morning meal, the leaner the midsection. But keep the meal's size within reason: A
1,480-calorie smoked-sausage scramble at Denny's is really two breakfasts, so cap
your intake at 500 calories. For a quick way to fuel up first thing, I like this recipe:
Prepare a package of instant oatmeal and mix in a scoop of whey protein powder and
1/2 cup of blueberries.
3. As you eat, review your goals . . .
Don't worry, I'm not going all Tony Robbins on you. (I don't have enough teeth.) But it's
important that you stay aware of your mission. University of Iowa scientists found that
people who monitored their diet and exercise goals most frequently were more likely to
achieve them than were goal setters who rarely reviewed their objectives.

4. . . . and then pack your lunch

My personal Igloo cooler just celebrated its 19th anniversary. I started carrying it withme every day back in college. Of course, it often housed a six-pack of beer--until Idecided to compete in the Purdue bodybuilding championship. (Second place, by theway.) Once I knew I'd have to don a banana hammock in public (the world's best motivator), I began to take the contents of my cooler seriously. And so should you. In fact, this habit should be as much a part of your morning ritual as showering. Here'swhat I recommend packing into your cooler.
An apple (to eat as a morning snack)
Two slices of cheese (to eat with the apple)
A 500- to 600-calorie portion of leftovers (for your lunch)

A premixed protein shake or a pint of milk (for your afternoon snack)
By using this approach, you'll keep your body well fed and satisfied throughout the day
without overeating. You'll also provide your body with the nutrients it needs for your
workout, no matter what time you exercise. Just as important, you'll be much less likely
to be tempted by the office candy bowl. In fact, my personal rule is simple: I don't eat
anything that's not in the cooler.

5. Exercise the right way
Everyone has abs, even if people can't always see them because they're hidden under
a layer of flab. That means you don't need to do endless crunches to carve out a six-
pack. Instead, you should spend most of your gym time burning off blubber.
The most effective strategy is a one-two approach of weight-lifting and high-intensity
interval training. According to a recent University of Southern Maine study, half an hour
of pumping iron burns as many calories as running at a 6-minute-per-mile pace for the
same duration. (And it has the added benefit of helping you build muscle.) What's more,
unlike aerobic exercise, lifting has been shown to boost metabolism for as long as 39
hours after the last repetition. Similar findings have been noted for intervals, which are
short, all-out sprints interspersed with periods of rest.
For the best results, do a total-body weight-training workout 3 days a week, resting at
least a day between sessions. Then do an interval-training session on the days in
between. To make it easy on you, I've created the ultimate fat-burning plan, which
appears on this month's workout poster.

6. Skip the late shows
You need sleep to unveil your six-pack. That's because lack of shut-eye may disrupt the
hormones that control your ability to burn fat. For instance, University of Chicago
scientists recently found that just 3 nights of poor sleep may cause your muscle cells to
become resistant to the hormone insulin. Over time, this leads to fat storage around
your belly.
To achieve a better night's sleep, review your goals again 15 minutes before bedtime.
And while you're at it, write down your plans for the next day's work schedule, as well as
any personal chores you need to accomplish. This can help prevent you from lying
awake worrying about tomorrow ("I have to remember to e-mail Johnson"), which can
cut into quality snooze time.

This is not the first time I've crossed the line. And I'm not upset about him. He is secondary. He is just a detail that will be wiped away with time and more story-telling and liquor and denial. I'm angry that I keep stepping over this obvious fucking line and then redrawing it willy-nilly in the sand. Again and again. I'm a smart girl. Why can't I draw my line, an acceptable line, and plant my feet behind it? I say I want to follow my own rules.

And, you know, I would say more. But people read this and rumors spread. There are already rumors. Nothing changes, you know. Not a goddamned thing. I don't need to tell you that.

Who I am and who I am looking for:

I am borderline neurotic. I have a vivid imagination and a tendency to over-share. I can tend to be clingy, but need my space. I feel alone in crowds. I love my dog too much. Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth. I never put away my clean laundry. I like the idea of eating healthy, but eat crap out of convenience. I have pretty blue eyes, and I know it. There is no way for me to have cleavage. I fall down a lot. I laugh way too loud. Sometimes I hold in my sneezes in some weak attempt at femininity.  I enjoy museums and such, but spend large amounts of time watching random reality shows.  I sometimes think people are looking at me in admiration, but in my heart know it's not true. I relate very well to gay men. Gay men love me. Straight men are much less interested. I sometimes have a horrible time holding up my end of a conversation. I try to be a people pleaser to the point that I either come across as super boring or eventually freak out and spill all the dissenting opinions I've been holding in. I was once a registered Republican, but currently am terrified by Republicans in general. I believe in God and think Jesus was probably a cool dude, but, in general, Christians scare the hell out of me. I don't care what anyone does as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Stealing is bad. I drive too fast. I sleep too much. Sometimes I take 3 showers a day. Sometimes I don't shower for 3 days. I have 2 cats, and am ashamed of that sometimes.  I've kissed a girl. I can't understand why people like me but am crushed if they don't. I have a philanthropic heart, but a lazy ass. I love gossip. I may want to have children, but probably for all the wrong reasons.  I'm loyal to a fault. I'm nosy. I'm mostly a mess, the wants to be loved.

I am looking for a man. I like dark hair and beards. I want someone who listens to the minutia of my day and can tell which of my two friends named Erin I am talking about without clarification. I like boys who drive trucks. I like smart boys, who aren't too smart to act stupid.  I want a boy who is more attractive then me, but doesn't know it. I want a boy who will hold my hand. I want a boy with a healthy sexual appetite. I want a boy who understands the ridiculous nature of porn, but isn't too "high brow" to enjoy it. I want a boy who cooks, or at least will eat my cooking. I want a boy who loves Nashville, but wants to travel. I want a boy who can hold his liquor....but doesn't hold on to it too tight or all the time.I want a boy who will get pleasure out of seeing how excited I get at a Reckless Kelly show. I want a boy who thinks it's great when I want to hang with "my girls" or even better, when I want to hang with "my boys." I want a boy who knows more about me then anyone else, but still wants to know more.

I'm pretty sure that even if I had forked up the $50 to get an actual subscription to this dating site, had I filled out the form honestly, it would have been $50 down the drain. I'm all for online dating for others, but it just ain't my thing. I lack the self confidence to open myself up like that and would much rather spend that $50 on shoes.

So there.

This is why I am uberspackle:

• I love talking into a fan. I did it all the time as a kid, and would make that weird vibrating voice and silly sounds.
• During the winter I used to stand after my showers with my bare feet over the heating vent, letting the air woosh up my legs. I miss central air/heat!
• I love that feeling I get after popping your ears when suddenly I can hear so much better! It's like hearing a new world.
• I absolutely love cracking my joints. My neck is probably the best, but when I get a good wrist crack to happen, I just looove that feeling.
• If I keep any paper at all in my hands for over a minute, it will be folded, crunched, or lost. I have very "busy" hands.
• I like chewing on my cuticles and biting my nails into little pieces. I'm so gross!
• I talk to myself and sometimes can't stop. I think aloud and have pretend conversations, sometimes even saying "And I'm talking to myself again" out loud, followed by "Shh!"... I mean, really, I'm a wacko.
• I like dunking bread into liquids... and if it's regular bread slices, I first crush them in my palm so they hold together. I used to snack on just bread and orange juice.
• I only have a dining room set to please visitors, and because I wouldn't know what to do with that space if a table wasn't there. I never eat on it without company.

1. Have set availability. Don’t let clients, friends and family contact you at all hours during the day. While you want to be available, this kind of open-ended availability can be disastrous to your productivity. Instead, return calls and emails at set times throughout the day.
2. Stay caught up on your email. Letting your inbox pile up is easy and especially tempting if you’re in a hurry, but if you keep caught up with it, you’ll never have to search through it for a lost email or wonder if you replied to a client on an important issue.
3. Set time boxes. Creating time boxes can be a great way to structure your day and get more done. Set certain amounts of time to work on each part of a project, answer emails, take breaks, and anything else you do throughout the day. By allowing yourself only set amounts of time for each thing you’ll be more focused and get more done.
4. Monitor your surfing. The Internet is tempting, filled with shopping, games, and contact with friends that’s generally more fun than any project you are working on. A little surfing is fine, but truly productive web workers know that there is a time and place for the fun stuff. If you can’t get control yourself, try using a program that can help you.
5. Take breaks. It may sound silly to advocate taking breaks as a way to become more productive but it’s true. Workers who take regular, structured breaks actually get more done and are happier than those who keep plugging away without end all day. Set aside a few minutes for yourself every few hours to give your mind and eyes a rest.
   
6. Work during your high points. All of us have times during the day when we’re more productive. Some people work better first thing in the morning, while others get an afternoon rush. Determine what your most productive times are and schedule your hardest and most intense work around them.
7. Set incentives. One way to get yourself working harder than ever is to give yourself incentives for a job well done. Get into the habit of giving yourself small rewards based on the amount of work you’ve completed. You’re much more likely to push through to get something done if you know there is a reward waiting at the end.
8. Don’t multitask. Unless you are a master at multitasking, doing more thing at once is going to do more harm than good. Concentrate on one to-do item at a time. It might seem like it would take longer, but it will help you focus and prevent errors.
9. Learn shortcuts. Most programs used to work online have keyboard shortcuts, macros, and ways to make even the simplest of tasks take less time. These few seconds saved may not seem like a big deal, but they can add up throughout the day and give you extra time to concentrate on more important things.
10. Simplify your processes. If you find yourself going through a multi-step ordeal to handle your email, client questions, or work on projects, then perhaps it’s time to think about streamlining how you work. Eliminating unnecessary steps and keeping it simple will allow you to keep your focus and make the most of the time you spend working.
11. Treat your body well. You won’t be very productive if you’re sitting at your computer exhausted from lack of sleep or sick from overwork, so make sure that you’re taking good care of yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in projects and forget to have healthy lunches or take a break to get some exercise, but start scheduling these things in as part of your day, and you’ll look and feel much better.
12. Set and meet deadlines. You may find yourself spending much more time on a project than you should if you don’t set deadlines for yourself. Whether you’re a blogger or a web designer, create reasonable goals for yourself and do your best to meet them.
13. Find a focus. Concentrating on a project can sometimes be a frustrating endeavor, so find something either about the project or in your environment that helps you find and keep focused. Turn on some music, clear off your desk, or make it fun for yourself, whatever it takes to keep you on task.
14. Follow up. The best web workers know that a project shouldn’t just fall by the wayside once you’re done with it. Check in with clients, commenters and anyone else who sees your work to get feedback and make you better at whatever job you’re doing.
15. Have the right tools for the job. A lot of time can be wasted by not having the right tools for the job. If you can’t afford expensive programs, then try finding open source alternatives that can do the same work for a fraction of the price.
16. Always have a clear agenda. Don’t just work willy nilly. Go into meetings and projects with a clear idea of what you want to get accomplished. Otherwise, you may find yourself losing time to disorganization.
17. Create set times to check messages. If you want to get more done, then don’t be a slave to your phone and email. Create a schedule to check emails. You can do it at frequent intervals if you’re afraid of missing important information, but constant, unscheduled checking can be a productivity killer.
18. Dress for work. You might be working from home, but that doesn’t mean you still shouldn’t get out of those pajamas to get to work. You don’t need to dress up, but at least put on something you wouldn’t be embarrassed to leave the house in. You’d be surprised how much of an affect your appearance will have on your motivation.
19. Take computer breaks. Working on the computer all day is hard on your eyes and joints, so make sure you take take a rest from it every once in awhile. It’ll save you from eyestrain and repetitive stress injuries which can cost you in the long run.
20. Define work hours. When it’s up to you to schedule your work, you may end up working at all hours of the day. Of course, when this happens, work tends to slowly but surely take over your life. You’ll get more done if you focus your energy on working during specific hours.
21. Automate. In this high-tech age, you shouldn’t have to do everything yourself. Automate as much of your process as you possibly can and you’ll feel like you have your own personal assistant.
22. Keep your workspace organized. A disorganized workspace is a surefire way to slow yourself down. Whether your virtual desktop is covered in files and icons or your real one is overflowing with papers, clean it up. It will be less distracting and you’ll be able to find what you need more quickly.
23. Stay positive. Everyone has bad days, but maintaining a generally positive attitude towards your work will go a long way in boosting your productivity. Find something that makes you happy, even if it’s just your morning coffee, and make it an integral part of your day.
24. Keep a calendar. You’ll let important deadlines and appointments fall by the wayside if you don’t keep at least some record of them on a calendar or day planner. Keep your day-to-day activities laid out and you’ll never have to waste time wondering what it is you should be doing today.
25. Be honest with yourself. Always be honest with yourself about how long a project will take and how interested you are in completing it. Being honest lets you set realistic goals and spend more time working towards them instead of making excuses.

1. A new Poet Laureate has been named by the Library of Congress, and Kay Ryan is a mold-breaker. Ryan isn't a member of the MFA-workshop-conference-directorship syndicate; in fact, she has spent most of her career teaching remedial reading classes at a California community college.

Ryan's reputation has taken a while to build. Her first book, "Dragon Acts to Dragon Ends" (1983), was privately printed and went unreviewed. Not until her fourth book, "Elephant Rocks" (1996), was she published by a major trade house, Grove Press.

I like the message that this choice of America's Poet Laureate sends:

• There are other ways to succeed than through following the "ordained" path for your craft.
• Making great art and serving others with your gift are not incompatible.
• Persistence pays off; do not give up if your greatness is not immediately recognized!

The article linked above also has a couple of short examples of her poetic style, which is complex and thought-provoking.

2. The next bit of wisdom, an article from the New York Times titled "Warning--Habits May Be Good for You", contains a lot of interesting information about habit formation and its capacity for good or evil in a variety of contexts. My particular interest in the piece is the research that public health advocates, marketing mavens and academics have done on how habits get formed.

The story's author, Charles Duhigg, writes,

"Researchers like Wendy Wood at Duke University and Brian Wansink at Cornell were examining how often smokers quit while vacationing and how much people eat when their plates are deceptively large or small. Those and other studies revealed that as much as 45 percent of what we do every day is habitual — that is, performed almost without thinking in the same location or at the same time each day, usually because of subtle cues.

"For example, the urge to check e-mail or to grab a cookie is likely a habit with a specific prompt. Researchers found that most cues fall into four broad categories: a specific location or time of day, a certain series of actions, particular moods, or the company of specific people.

"The e-mail urge, for instance, probably occurs after you’ve finished reading a document or completed a certain kind of task. The cookie grab probably occurs when you’re walking out of the cafeteria, or feeling sluggish or blue."

One of the cornerstones of my theory of "creative momentum" (more on this in August!) is the importance of forming positive habits and rituals around the creative act. Notice the four major triggers for habit formation:

• a specific location or time of day,
• a certain series of actions,
• particular moods,
• or the company of specific people

Is there any way to work creative habits into your day, using these four triggers as anchors for the practice to take hold?

The article covers the dark side and the ways in which attempts at conscious habit formation can go wrong. As Duhigg says, "Our capacity to develop such habits is an invaluable evolutionary advantage. But when they run amok, things can become tricky."

This article is a comprehensive look at a nuanced, yet very basic topic: how to get in "ruts" that do us good!

3. Finally, Zen Habits blog recently featured an excellent guest post by Clay Collins on living an artistically prolific life.

Clay's review of the literature on creative dynamos and the points he draws from it are terrific. I especially like and agree with these two...

Realize the gestation period of creative ideas: "You must be giving birth to a steady stream of new ideas in order for those ideas to bear fruit in a year or two down the road. Realize that prolific people don’t always have a shortened creative cycle; they often just have more creative cycles going on simultaneously."

Unabashedly take on your artistic identity. "Don’t be afraid to call yourself an artist ... Don’t be timid about telling yourself and others what you do. If you create art, then you’re an artist. The dedication and seriousness required to consistently produce inspired art requires a singularity of purpose that can’t be present unless you’ve come to own your own creativity."

If you have needed some inspiration for creating with greater consistency and more copiously, it doesn't get much better than this.

BONUS!
Artist, business consultant and all around cool woman Linda Naiman posted a tantalizing entry on her blog a while back comparing the mind's processing of art with a list of competencies for "creative leadership." There's an incredible interweave between the two, and Naiman asserts,

"We, as artists, need to learn how to develop and use our natural skills to lead. Leaders build their visions, unite people and thrive. It's time we as natural leaders, and as artists, do too."

The questions to you...
Have you used your artistic or creative sensibilities in a leadership role? How? What were the results?

(Full disclosure: I recently interviewed Linda for an article on workplace creativity. She's a great lady.)

An Iranian licence plate! Tehran!

it was a strange experience to say the least as everything is a lot different in Bucharest as opposed to Manchester or London or any other place I've been to but Bulgaria beats the Romanian 'different'. I was used to seeing people out on the streets on Saturday and Sunday mornings. In Bulgaria I'd see almost none and the population is rather numerous, which was strange. You suddenly wonder 'Where is everyone?'. The answer is, they're probably at the seaside, on the Black Sea coast. Somewhere tucked away in Varna, Obzor and other places with funny names for foreigners.

Driving around Bulgaria I saw quite a few UK cars, a sign that people do choose to live very far away from their homes for a lot less money (get a house for 30,000 euros and the UK idea of 'house prices going down' will seem ludicrous). And it's not bad. You could get used to it. You'd have trouble deciphering the cyrillic alphabet if you're not used to it or a former communist country or just a language fanatic but it all makes sense after a while. It'll take a while before you get used to the fact that you can't use your credit card everywhere you go. Or that in Bulgaria, nodding your head means 'no' and shaking it means 'yes'. Troublesome conversations are troublesome. Understanding of what 'lemonade' means also.

I drink lemonade, I dunno wtf you drink. But this is not lemonade.

They're not shopping-mall people, which is a good thing. There's no obvious pattern for their consumption although you can guess some of them simply by going into their supermarkets. Like Piccadilly (Пикадили/Pikadili). You notice what products go out of stock, you notice that they've got the best baked bread I've ever had and deli stores that would make any deli store in the UK blush.

Luxury and status are still major concerns in Bulgaria. Custom licence plates, white SUV's (did I mention Eastern Europe has somewhat lax pollution legislation?) and their local 'wags' can be seen strutting their designer shoes, clothing and expensive cars, licenced '6699' or '9999' (over 9000!) around the city. while their boyfriends work out the upper body muscles that make them look like penguins when they walk. People would park their cars inside shopping malls if they could, anywhere but indicated places. I'd assume corruption is a problem as everyone seems to get away with it. The funniest moment was when two policemen sped past driving a Porsche Carrera, all blue and white, in police colours. See, now this would be frowned upon in the UK. Eastern Europe has some rules of its own. And less shame I think. Because put together, Romania and Bulgaria have half the population of the UK...perhaps less.

Somehow fit Alexander Nevsky Cathedral in this.

I was somewhat shocked and scared one night when I woke up at about one or two to gunshots. You'd think BLOODY HELL, someone's getting shot out there! Call the police! But shortly after I was informed that a lot of people own guns and when drunk, they just shoot blanks in the air. There's no violent gun crime. Or knife crime. Everyone's actually very peaceful! And I'm not being sarcastic. They don't have each other and the most violent murder that reached my ears was some local mafia boss found dead in the city. Suppose that balances everything out? If police won't do you justice, you go do it yourself! Police decided not to comment on this event!

I quite enjoy taking pictures of food.

For those daring, there's skiing and snowboarding going on around Sofia (on Viitosha) and in Borovets ('ts' is spelt like 'tz' in 'Ritz') but obviously none in summer, you can just enjoy the view from 2200m altitude.

Guitar Hero as entertainment

Overall pretty fun. Just kinda annoying to get around with if you don't own a car. And don't speak Bulgarian. I asked for the way out somewhere and got pointed to the toilet. Not fun!

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you'd be surprised.

I used to be that way, but now I'm different!

List of fears and negative behaviours thst have hurt my weight loss success in the past:

1.  If I slip up, I'd then give up for the rest of the day or even the week.

2.  What if I can't do it on my own?

3.  Thinking I'll start tomorrow.

4.  Not writing down what I've eaten either before I've eaten it or immeadiately after.

I used to give up completely if I slipped up, but now I will keep moving forward even if I make a bad choice.

I used to be fearful that I couldn't do this on my own, but now I believe I can do this as I have all the knowledge and support I need.  I have the support of Aussie Losers, Christina, my family and even www.dramandaonline.com.au

I used to think I could do whatever I wanted to do today, as I could always start tomorrow, but now I am on a hundred day journey and there is no turning back - just moving forward.

I used to be half-hearted when it came to filling in any sort of tracker, but now I will fill in my success diary diligently.

I'll print these outcomes off and read them often - and I will live in a way that makes them true.