I understand the purpose of H.O.A.'s, but they are way overrated.  They are supposed to keep the neighborhood looking decent, and keep up the landscaping of the parks and streets.  That all sounds great.  But when I'm getting fined for improving my yard, and making my yard look great and upscale, increasing the value of my home through my improvements, wouldn't you think you might have a little leniency?  It might take the grass more than a week to completely fill in the old area.  It might take me more than two months to do a nice wall and flagstone and what not in my yard.  Is that so much to ask?

I vow this day forth, that i will not have an H.O.A. again.  They seem like they are for a bunch of old grumpy retired folk, who need someone to complain to and about.  Seriously, the last meeting I went to, some guy complained about someone cutting through his rocks.  Seems sort of understandable, but when you complain about someone taking two steps into your nasty weed filled rocks because it's leaving imprints in your rocks, I think you've overdone it a bit.

13 Ways to Cheer Up

If you’re like most people, you experience moments of feeling down, depressed, or blue. First of all, it’s okay to feel that way. We all do sometimes. Some of us may feel down more often than others, and that’s okay too. If you’re experiences are preventing you from functioning in your home, work, or social life, you may need some extra help. If this is the case, please contact a mental health professional in your area.

If you’re just having a bad day (or week) and need to cheer up, try some of the following. I hope you feel better soon!

1. Make your own CHEER UP book. If you’re experiencing lots of days of feeling down, you might benefit from creating your own “Cheer Up” book. Create a list (like this one) of every activity you can think of that will cheer you up. Type it up, add some pictures, print it out, and have it bound. I created a book like this for my husband, and it has worked out very well. Whenever he’s feeling, he just grabs his book and within a few activities, he’s feeling much better about life.

2. Breathe. Deep breathing is a relaxation technique that releases tension from the body and clears the mind. You tend to breathe shallowly or even hold your breath when you are feeling anxious. Many people do this and are not even aware of it. Shallow breathing limits your oxygen intake and adds further stress to your body, creating a vicious cycle. Breathing exercises can break this cycle.

What to Do:

1. Sit up straight. First exhale completely through your mouth. Place your hands on your stomach, just above your waist. Breathe in slowly through your now, pushing your hands out with your stomach. This ensures that you are breathing deeply. Imagine that you are filling your body with air from the bottom up.

2. Hold your breath to a count of two to five, or whatever you can handle. It is easier to hold your breath if you continue to hold out your stomach. Slowly and steadily breathe out through your mouth, feeling your hands move back in as you slowly contract your stomach, until most of the air is out. Exhalation is a little longer than inhalation.

3. Water. Drink some water. Mmmmm…water. Dehydration can cause a variety of problems, including imbalances in your noggin. So fill up a glass with that clear liquid and take it down. While you’re at it, why don’t you take a multivitamin just for good measure? Don’t stop at that one glass. Be sure to have a few through the rest of the day.

4. Hugs. If a friend or loved one is available, go snag a hug from them. You have to give a hug to get one. Sometimes all we need is a good old fashion hug. A study by University of North Carolina researchers found that hugs increase the "bonding" hormone oxytocin and decrease the risk of heart disease. Touch also releases two feel-good brain chemicals, serotonin and dopamine.

5. Play with a dog. If you don’t have one, go get one! When I say play, I mean really play. Get down on the ground, chase her around, throw her “ball” and have a good old time. You’ll be spreading some love, exercising, and making both you and her feel better.

6. Caffeine. Go get a soda or coffee (iced or hot). Caffeine is a natural mood enhancer. J Not only does it taste good in coffee and soda and make you feel better – it also helps to get out of the house to get some fresh air. For a couple dollars, this is a cheap and pleasurable pick-me-up.

7. Call a friend. Open up that cell phone, and start going down the contact list. If you’re not willing to call them (unless it’s a professional contact), then maybe you should delete them. Family members and friends should be available to support one another. A good old-fashion chat will add a new perspective on life in general, and it might provide some pleasant distraction from whatever is getting you down.

8. Watch a funny movie. If you have the time, slip in one of your favorite comedies or go rent one. And when you get to the funny parts, give yourself permission to laugh and laugh hard. Laughter is very good for you, especially when you don’t think you can.

9. Go for a walk. You know yourself best. Do you feel good around green trees, water, or lots of people? Go for a walk near something that rejuvenates you. Yes, even if you have to drive there. Commit to just 15 minutes, and you’ll be surprised how much you’ll want to keep going after your 15 minutes are up. The fresh air, rejuvenating surroundings, and exercise are all things that are sure to cheer you up.

10. Bath Time. Draw yourself a bath – with candles, music, bubbles, and duckies. Time to spoil yourself! You can soak, relax, and have a little fun while you’re at it. Who says bubble baths are only for kids and ladies??

11. Cheap fun. Go to the dollar store and buy 5 fun items. You have such a variety of options! Decorations, cards, games, stickers, ribbons, bags, books, food, glasses, toys, coloring books, and SO MUCH MORE!! If you can’t spare $5, allow yourself to spare $2 or $3. And pick something fun!

12. Music. Do you enjoy music? Slip in your favorite tunes, turn the volume up, and sing your heart out. Feel the music surround you, and just let the good stuff soak in. Bathe yourself in the songs that makes you feel good.

13. Dance. Along the lines of music – put on some of your favorite up-beat tunes, close the blinds, and dance. If you’re home alone, dance around the whole house. If you think this is stupid, set the timer for 5 minutes. Commit to only 5 minutes, and see how you feel afterwards. If you don’t feel better, stop. If it works, you don’t have to tell anybody.

These are only 13 ways to Cheer Up. Plenty more activities exist. I highly recommend #1!

Grumpy Old Men on the Train home

Thankfully things started looking up when our dear friends called and invited us over for a BBQ.  We spent the usual 30 minutes doing the diaper thing, the potty thing, the find-your-swimsuit thing... Well, I've got two kids, what do you expect?  Finally we made it out the door and headed out.

It was so much fun!  The kids got to play in the little pool and slip 'n' slide, there were drinks, old stories retold, and lots of laughs.  We had classic BBQ fare - Hot Dogs and Hangaburs (as my daughter calls them).  Can you smell the smoke?  Can you taste the margaritas?

Well, you know me, I had my camera with me of course, and got this great picture of the hydrangeas outside the house, and I just have to share it with you dear reader!  Enjoy it, think of summer, and I'll talk to you soon.

I am honored to have Exquisite Image featured on www.coolcraftymom.blogspot.com.  Take a minute and check it out!  It's a great blog, and I'm happy to have a special place there.

**you can see more of my photography at www.exquisiteimage.etsy.com***

Well, hello there. I promise I've snapped out of my insane bitch-mode don't-fuck-with-me get-the-hell-out-of-my-way mood I was in earlier. It was kindly pointed out to me (by, um... several different people, actually. Yeah, thanks) that hey, girlie, it's that time, isn't it? Um. Let me check my calendar. Yeah. I guess that would be about right. I was in a wee bit of a hormonally induced tizzy earlier today. That's not to negate everything I said earlier - I still totally think that maybe people ought to help a bit more, and that the fam has gotten a little too comfy-cozy with the fact that I am pretty much stuck on having a clean house and will not just leave it in disarray in hopes that someone else (other than moi) gets inspired to clean it.

I guess my mood was helped by my husband agreeing to pick up takeout on the way home, forty hardcore minutes on the treadmill watching "Grey's Anatomy" on DVD (Limbic system, anyone?), and making pretty speedy progress on a home improvement project that I thought would take me much longer than it did. I'll easily be able to wrap up the project tomorrow morning, which is awesome. Onward and upward to the next project. I'll be a frequent Home Depot visitor for the next few weeks, I'm thinking, but that's alright - though the process sometimes makes me crazy, I'm in love with the end-results so ultimately I'll find some joy in it.

Whew.

It's a relief to not be a raging bitch right now. I talked to my husband on the phone in the midst of it - he was sharing with me something moronic my stepson's mother said (this is nothing new, believe me), to which I let loose with a spiel of negativity. My husband paused, laughed and said, "You're a hardass bitch, aren't you?" And my response was, "That's how I'm rolling today..."

But, I'm kinda glad to not be rolling that way anymore. If I could just get the kids to fall asleep so I could sink in a bubble bath reading my book, I'd be blissing.

The Making of Hate
By: Jason Byrd
048

Oh I sit here thinking
Of all the things you’ve done
Your lies, dishonesty, and hate
And that thing that you’ve become

You told me once that you loved me
That you’d never do me wrong
And when I realize your lies
I’ve seen them all along

Sick and twisted melodies
Are swirling in my brain
And when my pain returns to you
You’ll never be the same

If once or twice you’ve thought of me
In your disconnected mind
Just realize my thoughts of you
Have since become unkind

When in fact the dust has cleared
And you see what’s in your path
Your lies, dishonesty and hate
Are things you can’t ever take back

© 2008 Jason Byrd – All rights reserved

It could be the horrid umpire-ing (is that actually a word?) at my daughter's baseball game that caused them to lose.

It could be the fact that my house is a mess and no one seems to care but me. Everyone came home from the game, sat down to either watch tv or sleep in a chair while I did all the work.

It could be the fact that I can't hear the tv over my husband's snoring.

It could be that I'm just simply in a bad mood.

Whatever it is, the fact remains, I'm grumpy. Really, really grumpy.

What am I going to do about it, that's the big question. I have two choices. I can either wallow in my misery, or do something to change it. But what?

I think ice cream. Or chocolate. Either one would work.

I'm leaning towards ice cream.

I'll be back.

Don't know if I am getting the flu or if I am suffering the ill effects of lengthened days affecting my sleep schedule combined with allergies.

Blah!

Now Occam's Razor states that I should probably go for the simplest answer to my current state of feeling ucky, that is the flu, but there is a part of me that refuses to give in to that.  I can't control what happens with the flu, but I can control my sleep (sort of .. LOL... as best as I can) and my allergies.  And there is something totally repulsive about having the flu - usually meaning I should be in bed instead of puttering around the house like the restless soul that I am likes to do.

I'll give it one more day as it seems that if it is the flu, the need for bed will eventually rule out doing my house meanderings.

Damn.. I do not want the flu.  Normally it means that not only will I be sick and feverish but I end up with my asthma kicking in and the most nasty case of bronchitis, and most likely, sinusitis kicking in.

Damn it!

I'm trying hard not to feel grumpy about it all, but it really does peeve me off.  I don't have time to be sick!

Pooh

Bye for now

Leonard Ravenhill said it best - "the opportunity of a lifetime must be seized within the lifetime of the opportunity."  On the surface, this statement appears to reference one-time deals that have an expiration date.  But let's take a look at the larger concept.  Webster defines an ‘entrepreneur' as "one who organizes, manages and assumes the risks of a business or enterprise."  Organize, manage, assume.  These are all things that you do.  But by taking the focus off of what you do and first placing it on who you are, you can begin to see a lot more opportunities. 

Get rich quick, anyone?  Sitting in Reading, Pennsylvania this weekend, I had a shocking revelation.  I went to Pennsylvania for a mutual evaluation with Resource Associates Corporation, a consulting network that specializes in strategic planning, people development and process improvement.  Listening to a host of presenters, I had flashbacks to so many presentations that I attended in the past.  You know the free seminars where they rush you to the back of the room to buy their products or enroll in a coaching program.  Well, RAC was a lot different and quite refreshing.  In fact, they would not let us make an investment before figuring out if we were a good fit for each other, requiring us to come up with a detailed plan to get a return on investment and going home to talk it over with our families.  As our presenters talked, I realized something was different - I had changed.  Previously, I wanted to be an "overnight success", which caused me to have a ‘get rich quick' mentality. 

Many free seminars are marketing tactics, designed to capitalize on a customer's internal desire to "get rich quick."  The funny thing is that a lot of these programs are not considered ‘get rich quick schemes' (GRQs).  In a nation with a GRQ mentality, there is no need to create pyramid schemes or GRQs.  A lot of companies just make money off of the consumers' warped reality.  It was my GRQ mentality that caused me to align with the GRQ marketing program (marketing is all about what the customer wants).  That's why I have about 5 "opportunities of a lifetime" sitting in my office collecting dust.  Granted, the education and experience was well worth it (although at this stage of the game, I would think twice, thrice and four times before making a purchase).  Because of the desire to become instantly rich and a lack of understanding between ‘rich' and ‘wealthy', I thought that every ‘opportunity of a lifetime' was my opportunity.  And I would rush to the back of the room to claim my ‘deal of the decade.' 

Reality check.  Three years and several thousand dollars later, I have realized two things:

1. Had I gotten rich quick, I would have gotten poor even quicker.
2. There is only one true opportunity of a lifetime. 

This opportunity does not have an expiration date. Unlike one-time deals, it lasts a lifetime as well.  Your true opportunities of a lifetime are your ability to think, to imagine, to hope, to believe.  And most importantly, they are free.  I agree with India Arie on one thing - "there's hope.  It doesn't cost a thing to smile, you don't have to pay to laugh, you better thank God for that."  With entrepreneurial vision and proper planning, almost any deal can work as long as it fits within your reality.  Your reality is created by such things as your thoughts, values and beliefs.  The more open minded you are, the bigger your reality can become - allowing you to spot more opportunities.  But as you close your mind, you limit your opportunities by limiting the scope of your reality. 

Skepticism and Cynicism.  Unfortunately, GRQs and slick salespeople have caused many people to become skeptical and even cynical about entrepreneurship.  Both skepticism and cynicism can limit your reality.  Think about it.  If your child lies to you once or twice, you may become skeptical about their integrity.  But if they continue to lie, you would allow their lies to confirm your skepticism about their lack of honesty, making it very easy for you to become cynical.  Cynics limit their reality by building a small iron box around their mind.  The same way that you can build this box, you can also break it and begin to expand your reality.

Redefining ‘entrepreneur'.  Let's take a moment and expand Webster's definition of what it means to be an entrepreneur.  An entrepreneur is one who uses the power of vision to identify, unlock and capitalize on overlooked opportunities.  This totally levels the playing field of entrepreneurship.  It's not limited to building a business, starting a network marketing organization or becoming a real-estate investor, although these are great examples of entrepreneurs.  The mechanic who fixes cars for free could be an entrepreneur.  The CEO who uses revenues from high-end services to fund a homeless shelter could be an entrepreneur.  A mom who gives up her full-time job to stay at home and raise her children could be an entrepreneur.  In essence, anyone (yes that means you...) could be an entrepreneur. 

Expanding your reality.  I believe it only takes three things to expand your reality - what you hope for, what you believe and what you think.  Remember the days when you dreamed about what you wanted to be when you grew up.  Chances are, you grew up and you're not what you wanted to be.  Its easy to put more emphasis on what we want and neglect who we need to be to handle what we want.  For example, the difference between having a million dollars (rich) and being a millionaire (wealthy) starts in your mind.  Getting rich takes a stroke of luck, being wealthy requires a well-thought out plan. 

Your Think Bank.  Your thoughts are your greatest assets.  Each positive thought equals a dollar added to what we'll call your Think Bank.  With more positive thoughts, the balance of your Think Bank increases.  With more negative thoughts, your bottom line decreases.  Attached to each thought is an opportunity to either expand or reduce your Think Bank - better known as your reality.

When opportunities don't pan out as expected, I have the tendency to fall into a negative thinking pattern.  At these times, I become both irritable and irritating - limiting my reality and reducing my opportunities.  I have a refrigerator magnet that reflects a personal goal I've recently achieved.  The magnet reads "Some days I wake up grumpy, other days I let him sleep."  Recently I've set a new goal...to turn Grumpy into Rip Van Winkle.  Why?  Using positive thoughts and positive energy allows me to use my lifetime opportunities to spot opportunities of a lifetime. 

All posts on "My Future In Focus" Weblog are the intellectual property of T.A. and are licensed under a

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Giving credit where it is due:

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But, Mr. Grump has retired for the evening, so I can relax in peace.  Have I ever mentioned how much my computer usage irritates Jose?  I don't complain about him watching TV all day.  He should be happy I'm not fighting him for the remote! 

Anyways...

I don't think I mentioned that Saturday night we took the girls to Skate Daze.  We didn't skate, but we did have a freakin' blast at the Playdazium.  This play area puts Chuck E Cheese to shame.  I think I read online that it is over 2600 square feet.  It is ginormous!  Ball pits, swings, slides, "rock climbing", and more.  Our girls loved it!  I had a pretty good time, too.

Such a good time that this morning, we went back!  :)  I took my girls, my suegra, and the three kids she babysits.  It was even funner with more kids!  I think next week we're giving the skating thing a try!

After the Skate Daze excitement, I dropped my suegra and her crew off, and then went to my madrina's house.  Time to clean the pool for Livie's party on Saturday!  It was a CHORE AND A HALF.  My Lord, my arms are so sore!  We scrubbed and pulled and washed and tugged...  But, we got it clean!!  YAY!  And, I got ahold of the church, and they said there will be no problem scheduling Livie's presentation Saturday.  Whoo-hoo!!

:)

Oh yeah!  My madrina gave me a whole boat load of jeans that she doesn't wear anymore!!  I bet all together (dress pants, capris, and denim) there are over 20 pairs!!!  I am stoked.  I love clothes!!  :D

See you tomorrow...!!!  Have an awesome night!

I have very bad feet, flat arches and a nasty angled bunion. Poor Curious was getting teased by his wife (yes, our very own Mo) last week because he was being picky about purchasing a pair of running shoes. I quickly came flying to his defense. Other than a decent fitting and comfortable bra (no this doesn't apply to Curious), for me a comfortable pair of shoes is imperative. Without them you might as well render me useless for any walking, and besides, I become pretty darn grumpy.

Last month Evan and I took the family on a Disneyland vacation. This vacation required a great deal of walking and standing, and for a person with bad feet, these vacations can become more like days of agony because of the pain and throbbing of my feet.

Before we left, Supracor sent me some really fun spa accessories (bath mitt, facial sponges and stimulite® body scrubber), and I have thoroughly enjoyed using them in the shower. Little did I know, they use this same honeycomb material to create a plethora of other items, including a pretty sweet pair of sandals. Jami, they also carry an Equestrian line, just so you know. Horses need comfort too!

st. tropez™ sandals

Fusing fashion and comfort, our St. Tropez sandals stimulate blood flow to enhance circulation and reduce fatigue. In addition to massaging the feet, the honeycomb absorbs shock. Naturally antifungal and antibacterial, St. Tropez sandals are constructed of two layers of flexible, fusion-bonded honeycomb with a slip-resistant bottom and an upper layer of perforated honeycomb that allows air and water to flow through, making them ideal for the spa, health club, pool or beach.

When I get the chance to wear these sandals (my daughter Amanda wears my same size and usually finds them before I do), they give my feet some a great shock-absorbing cushion, a little massage from the honeycomb mesh, and are a joy to wear. I love that they can be worn anywhere, and are perfect for the beach or pool. They dry out quickly, and do not get stinky like many of my sandals do. These sandals are pricey for flip-flops ($60), but seem very durable and should last for years. If you are looking for a wonderful gift to a well deserving pair of feet, I would recommend purchasing a pair of Supracor's St. Tropez Sandals.

I've had quite a few Father's Day cards over the years but this is my very first card for grandpa on Father's Day. I'll try my very hardest not to be a "boring grumpy toad".

]]> http://munchies.wordpress.com/?p=799 Tue, 17 Jun 2008 09:43:48 +0000 munchies http://munchies.wordpress.com/?p=799 Che bello, è autunno! Stamattina c'era anche la nebbia e quella pioggerellina così tipica di ottobre... Oggi ho addosso un bel maglioncino di lana color verde e le Etnies, quelle che tengono un bel caldino ai piedi. Appena sveglia mi sono fatta una doccia rovente e andando in bici al lavoro ho rimpianto un po' di non aver messo la giacca a vento antipioggia e una sciarpetta. Brr!!

Beh, quanto manca a Natale??

Certo che vola il tempo, la primavera e l'estate sono volate via così in fretta che non me ne sono nemmeno accorta! Uff, peccato, mi sarebbe piaciuto leggere dei libri in un prato, fare dei pic-nic, andare in piscina, prendere il sole in terrazzo e godermi il fresco della sera dopo una giornata afosa...

ç_ç

(15.06.2008 dalle parti di Castelletto di Branduzzo)

I spent the majority of my day in a state of panic, shrouded in terror. Whilst installing the Symphony Orchestra Jam Pack for GarageBand, my computer froze up.

And it didn't come back.

The hard drive died.

So, it's replaced, and under warranty. But I lost about 10K+ of edits, revisions, and new material I'd been working on the last two weeks (since the last backup).

I just opened up Scrivener to validate this. Yes, all of my work I've done in the last fourteen days is gone. Vanished. Evaporated into the aether from whence it came.

As much as I want to say: "Maybe it's for the best!" I can't help but feel as if I just swallowed a rock.

Always, always, always, back up your work. Every single night. Every hour, if you can. Don't wander with your laptop--and if you do, use a damn thumb drive.

Remember how I said that I called that counselling place and they said I would have to be on a waiting list? Also that stupid breakdown I had. They called back to make sure that I went through their over the phone survey and I had asked them if I could be taken off their list. So today I called them back asking if I could be put back on their list. Someone needs to slap me in the face and tell me, "what the fuck are you doing? Make up your fucking mind!" Or maybe a light slap? :D lol. At least something to wake me up.

So D was saying how I should allow comments on this blog because it's a public blog and without allowing feedback, it seems pointless. I had a private livejournal blog and it's like I'm doing the same thing I did there. I started this blog because I wanted to open up more and share my thoughts with "teh net". I'm still being a coward as usual. So instead I'm turning the comments on.

I'm also competing between livejournal and wordpress. I like the design of wordpress and the higher chance at traffic, but I've had my account at livejournal since 2005. I really don't want to abandon my baby, but I'm going to have to. I rarely post there. Also It's going to be hard to transfer all my lj entries here because there are about 277 of them. I don't want to sort through long entries about my past. Maybe I'll make those public as well and link from here. Arghh...

I don't think you understand
That what you're doing is not so cool
You think it's funny to mess with my mind
Don't you

You know I like you so you just tease me
You give me just enough to hang on enough
When you're just wasting my time
You're simply wasting my time
So quit wasting my time

Do you hear me when I say
So let me ask you something
Do you think I'm pretty or don't you
Do you wanna get with me or not

Or are you just wasting my time
You're simply wasting my time
So quit wasting my time
And what have you got to say
Well things have got to change
Say this just isn't right
I don't wanna have to fight
And I think I'd better go
Cause this ain't working out any more
and I'm sorry, sorry, sorry

Understand
That what you did
Was just not so cool
Baby, you're just not that cool

-- Boomkat, "Wasting my time"

On Tuesday by lunchtime I was as grumpy as a grumpy thing and wondering how it happened. That morning I'd been full of the joys of spring and only a few hours later I was wishing I hadn't got out of bed.  That morning as I'd gotten dressed for work I'd somehow managed to grab the grumpy shirt by mistake.

I've worked in teams with really moody people.  I try not to be that person. I hate it when one bundle of grumpiness makes the whole team grumpy.  I have a little trick for those unavoidable days.  I force myself to smile, especially if I have to talk to someone either on the phone or in person - do you know how hard it is to sound grumpy through a smile?  That and hysterical laughter - somehow they take the edge off the stress.