VIVIRE:

Linda como una flor de amapola,
como una trenza de olas del mar.
Así eres tu mi reina y te voy a amar.
Debo de hacerte en el pecho una nido
para que aprietes mi corazón
ya reservé la noche para tu amor.
Para estrujarnos los dos
cuerpo a cuerpo de robarme un beso.
Para preñarte de luz
como una rayo de sol.

Ay viviré
Viviré cada segundo pegadito a ella.
Como medallita al cuello
con el corazón en fiesta
Viviré.
Viviré cada segundo enamorado de ella.
Como bolero en la noche
que se esconde en las estrellas.

Agua que cae por la madrugada,
arrópanos al amanecer.
Moja la pausa y vuelve a no ser.
Nos sentaremos sobre la hierba,
preguntarás y preguntaré
y llegará otra noche que reservé.
Para estrujarnos los dos
cuerpo a cuerpo de robarme un beso
Para preñarte de luz
como una rayo de sol.

Ay viviré
Viviré cada segundo pegadito a ella.
Como medallita al cuello
con el corazón en fiesta
Viviré.
Viviré cada segundo enamorado de ella.
Como bolero en la noche
que se esconde en las estrellas.

Viviré
Viviré cada segundo pegadito a ella.
Como medallita al cuello
con el corazón en fiesta
Viviré.
Viviré cada segundo enamorado de ella.
Como bolero en la noche
que se esconde en las estrellas.

Viviré
Viviré cada segundo pegadito a ella.

Note*

This is for the best. No me olvides nunca. Adios amor.

Songs:
#1) Breakout
#2) 7 Things
#3) The Driveway
#4) Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
#5) Full Circle
#6) Fly on the Wall
#7) Bottom of the Ocean
#8) Wake Up America
#9) These Four Walls
#10) Simple Song
#11) Goodbye
#12) See You Again (Rock Mafia Remix)

Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things we can go through, so much more if it is a husband or parent. No words can express what our family is feeling right now but we’ve rallied together and with the support of friends and family, we’ll continue what John started.

Some of you may not know that John was not the natural father of the three daughters here today.  Robin and I are his step-daughters, yet John was never a step-father to either of us.  Pam has been part of our family for many years.  When her parents passed, John and Shirley became Mom and Dad.  Father is the only way to describe how he impacted our lives.  Three sisters, one father who wove us all together as a family.

John and Shirley were very much in love for every one of the 33 years of their marriage.  Through his example, John showed me what a good husband is and I’m forever grateful for that.  He cherished my mother and loved her for who she is.  One thing that stands out in my mind is that he loved anything she cooked for him.  I don’t think I ever shared a meal with them that he didn’t praise her cooking.

John was kind, hard working, a good friend, and a dedicated family man.  He seemed to have a solution to every problem and had his way of making things simple.  Anyone who listened to his jokes, heard one of his silly songs or glimpsed his goofy grin knew that his sense of humor ran deep.  His beliefs and values were of a time when family was the first priority of his community.  Old fashioned?  Yes.  I didn’t always agree with him, but I should probably reconsider my positions since things turned out so well for him.  John was a great man who had a great life.

He showed strength until the end and still had some special words for us. We should all be thankful that we were given the chance to have known this man named John Alcalde. At this moment when we are about to lay his body to rest, let’s all think back and remember how John touched our lives. How he made us laugh and how good he was as a person.  We know that we will see you again, that Mom will feel your warm embrace again and that our family will unite together in heaven. In the meantime, please guide us as we live our life here on earth.  John, you will always be remembered and you will always live in our hearts for as long as we live. We love you so much.

Poem of Life

Life is but a stopping place,
A pause in what's to be,
A resting place along the road,
to sweet eternity.
We all have different journeys,
Different paths along the way,
We all were meant to learn some things,
but never meant to stay...
Our destination is a place,
Far greater than we know.
For some the journey's quicker,
For some the journey's slow.
And when the journey finally ends,
We'll claim a great reward,
And find an everlasting peace,
Together with the lord.

Author unknown

I'm through with the games. We have been lying to each other for a while now. We play ping pong with promises. Bounce one to me and I'll volley one back. But, really, they're all lies. I have no intention of calling you. I have no intention of helping you out. The game is at the give up point and I've given all that I can. Now I'm just pretending. Now I'm just acting stupid because I can't tell you how I really feel. Until now. I went from being your biggest fan favorite to feeling like the biggest fallout failure.

You used me to get somewhere else. That's okay as long as you got where you needed to go. That's only because I got something out of it, too. But now I'm done. There were too many other people involved and I can't justify dragging them into this any longer. If there's any dragging to be done it'll be done by me - dragging my tail between my legs and admitting I was stupidstupidstupid.

Kisa has heard the rant. Time has heard the rant. I think everyone has heard the rant. The rant has turned me into a raving lunatic. Pass me the bottle. I want to poison myself enough to puke out everything vile, everything I thought I believed in. I need to get wasted to make you go away.

Haven't written in here since sunday because I've been so busy... saying goodbye to friends and packing. I also bought a ring :D

It's made of acryl and silver... pretty cool :)

I'm sure I forgot most of the things I wanted to write about but whatever... doesn't matter :)

The flight to here was ok. I don't like flying but it wasn't that bad. It was 9 h 45 min long but it seemed shorter. And I don't even know why. I didn't use my laptop, I only half watched "be kind rewind", didn't play any games, finished my magazine during takeoff. Yeah. I just kinda sat/lay there and listened to music, filmed and took pictures out the window. And the food was ok too, the main course wasn't that great but they served this "Lauch" thing later which was really good (I think mainly because it was nice and warm :)) And there was a family with a cute little baby sitting next to us on the plane. He fell down once and he looked at my and started to cry on te floor... aw, poor baby... I just smiled a him and ten seconds later he was laughing again... Aww... sometimes I wish I could be a baby again :) (my parents probably too... )

After we got to the hotel we didn't really do much. We walked down some road (forgot the name^^), and in the end went to eat at an italian restaurant. It was really good but I couldn't finish it o.O My calzone was so huge... And then we went to CVS (I love that place. It's so huge and the have everything, in every size from teenie-tiny to ridiculously huge). And to walgreens to get the right adapter to start my laptop :) Which I did now.

I think I'm gonna have to end this post here and write again tomorrow. I'm really tired. The room feels like it's swaying, like a ship or an aeroplane.And it's already 11.30, so for me it's 5.30 in the morning^^ That's pretty good for my first night, I might not even have jetlag.

<3

--William Arthur Ward

I have made life-long friends in Cincinnati and I never expected that to happen. Each of these friendships has been nothing short of a blessing to me. Last weekend, these friends threw a surprise bachelorette party for me (Thank you Camela for coordinating and keeping the surprise). I am so grateful that we had that time together.

Thank you to each of you who contributed to my card and gift. And Camela, Catherine, Kristen, Sarah, Samantha, Sharon; thank you for the lovely time.

And thank you for sharing your lives with me. I deeply miss you already.

read more | digg story

I was inconsolable for days after hearing the news of her passing, and in a way, I still am. The worst thing, to me, about losing someone you love, is the thought that one day you'll get over the fact that they're gone and maybe even forget them. Like they were never there. The only thing that got me out of bed through my grief was the idea of getting a tattoo to commemorate her life, and to know that she would always be with me and that I'd never ever forget her.

Now I take this seriously because it is forever. I had debated the idea of getting a tattoo for years, probably only for aesthetic reasons, but I never did. And I'm glad. Because this means the world to me and was absolutely worth it. I'll think of you every day.

here upon this earth.

Midst the pain & chaos...

it's hard to find your worth.

He had a lot of heartache...

troubles, doubts & sorrows.

Until finally one day,

he could face no more tomorrows.

My father used to call me,

to see what's going on.

Now he doesn't do that...

that's because he's gone.

He is in a better place...

a safer place at best.

Somewhere where his heart

can finally stop and take a rest.

Okay, so those things never really happened.  But, the people at Grady Britton were some of the more entertaining and kind souls I have met in a while.   GB really let me go with projects and write whatever I felt and included me on many brainstorming sessions.  It was really inspiring to see people doing the same things that I do….but better.
Observations:

1)    Never, ever feel like your idea isn’t good enough.

2)    “Gumballing” is where you let ideas drop out of your brain and directly out of your mouth (Thanks Julie)

3)    Don’t eat the entirety of your thai food on your lunch.

4)    M & Ms make any meeting seem livelier.

5)    I never had to get coffee for somebody (not even once!)

6)    When pitching clients, remember to talk about how awesome they are.

7)    Im uh bayd spelur. (Why don’t they make an Idiot’s guide to not making an ass out of yourself by misspelling words when you’re a copywriter.  Damn you spell check and learning foreign languages!)

8)    Great work does not come easy.

And so, Griffins, this is my thank you.  My sad farewell.  You may never be the same without me.  I offered cheeky banter, mediocre writing and endless questions for people who know more than I do.  What are you going to do with all your fee time now that I’m gone?  Alas, now I have to go be awkward somewhere else.  Thanks for your support, your encouragement and blowing my brain apart with your crazy ideas.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="cred: [phill h"]"][/caption]
Go Griffs.

she would have said she was confused and said goodbye without claiming a share in our love.

and I haven't yet made my funeral playlist in iTunes.

Death would have made this story a tragedy.

Moved to the west coast away from everyone
She never told me that you called
Back when I was still, I was still in love

Till I opened my eyes and walked out the door
And the clouds came tumbling down
And it's bye-bye, goodbye, I tried
And I twisted it wrong just to make it right
Had to leave myself behind
I've been flying high all night
So come pick me up...I've landed

The daily dramas she made from nothing
So nothing ever made them right
She liked to push me and talk me back down
Until I believed I was the crazy one,
and in a way
I guess I was...

But I opened my eyes and walked out the door
And the clouds came tumbling down
And it's bye-bye, goodbye I tried
Treading a sea of a troubled mind
Had to leave myself behind
Singing bye-bye, goodbye I tried

If you wrote me off I'd understand it
Because I've been on some other planet
So come pick me up...
I've landed

And you will be so
happy to know
I've come alone,
it's over

But I opened my eyes and walked out the door
And the clouds came tumbling down
And it's by my goodbye I tried
Down comes the reign of the telephone czar
It's OK to call
Now I'll answer for myself

Come pick me up,
...I've landed

Charlie L. Smith's forty
Someone spiked my rice
The rest, history
Now I am a fixture down

Rundle Mall
Watching as the locals pass
Silver balls
I can see their eyes are round
They're pointed down
They scan the spanning sidewalks
Learning that there is no hurry
Fuss or worry
Adelaide

Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah

Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah

It's raining
In Adelaide
A face is waiting in a window
A voice says
Why Adelaide
You could live anywhere and I say
Because I want to
Because I want to
I really really want to

And you know the earth could turn
Or crash and burn
And you would never know it
Really got to make it to the finish line
Get the record done on time
Pack the bags
And catch a flight
And you can kiss my ass goodbye
I'm in Adelaide
Adelaide
Adelaide
Adelaide

Last Sunday was my last day at West Contact Services Inc. I've been with them for 3 years and 11 months. Wow! I can't believe that I stayed with West for almost 4 years. But I'll never forget the lessons and training the company gave me. I just wish I could have stayed longer. but faith has other plans.

Today, was that last day that I will see the company; I just finished processing my clearance and all. Now time to move on to a more bigger and brighter future.

I'll keep you posted on where I'll be popping next. :D

This will be me this weekend (the guy in the blue life jacket). Can't wait. I love love love river rafting. The only sad part is Kelli is gone partying it up in Lake Powell and can't come this year.  Oh well Kelli, you'll be there in Spirit or something.... haha Anyways the blog will be a little neglected for a while. Sorry. I don't feel like anyone will really shed too many tears... :)

-Nicole

somewhere between nowhere and goodbye, their love lies in stasis,
inhabiting a transparent tunnel of final glances -
a train whistle seals the ends and this moment into memory

Written 7/22/08
© 2008 Nicole Nicholson. All Rights Reserved.

Stumble It!

We passed, and in that single glance I knew that we were meant to meet more than just this. A year goes by, and I can't find the words to ignite something. Who knew that all it would take for our worlds to cross would be a simple hello. You will never know how much it meant.

And as I realized that I had been daydreaming, people began waving their hands crying out "HELLO?!" None of them were you.

The funny thing about "hello" is that, there's never usually a "goodbye."

~Big Goonie~

Time for me to move on.  Best of success to the folks at DopeyCowboy.com and to all of you reading this. 

-Dopey

The weekend was calm and familiar: card games, long walks, ice cream, and playing guitar on the back porch have long been the staples of my beach vacations. My aunt, who was also down at the beach, noted that it had been awhile since I'd been down here without L and reminded me of the last time we'd all stayed at the beach house together. I had told her, "L and I love the beach so much" yet we never came out of her room or actually visited it that weekend. At that second I looked over at the seat that would have been saved for her, realizing that she wouldn't be socializing with us but hiding in her room... and I didn't miss her.

There is still a hole were she used to fit in my life and I feel it everywhere I walk, like an indentation left on a bed long after someone has woken up and left the building. But this weekend as I spent time with my family, my friends, and my self, I looked at that hole and tried to imagine if the time would be enriched if she was there. "Yes," I'd say, "if she was happy." I realized how much of the pleasure I took in her company was conditional. I loved those happy moments and somehow if we were still going to be building those times I think that I would've wanted to be with her. After catching her in her lies, after catching her with him, I just want to move on. The space left behind her has started to fill in finally, slowly, after almost a year of being emptied, filled, and emptied again.

Like stretching a unused muscles, it isn't a completely comfortable process- lunch at our favorite restaurant didn't bring tears or sadness, only sandwiches, but sleeping in the bed I used to share with her did. Ordering ice cream alone was hard but still pleasant- so much so I decided that it had to happen a second time. So much of the beach town landscape has changed- new bookstores open, old restaurants gone or moved- that it helps me to focus on this as a transition, the standard passing of time rather than the end of the world. Like the tides of the ocean, people come in to your life then slowly roll out, leaving the sand of your soul altered.

While shopping I accidentally pulled out the old photograph of her that I kept in my wallet- one she had printed out on cheap paper and given to me almost five years ago. She's smiling, wearing a black dress, and a holding a cat so black that he fades into the dress till his eyes look like buttons on the dress. I stuffed it back inside, avoiding it. Is there something telling in the fact that my latest wallet had no place to put a picture so that it was easily seen- so much so that I had forgotten I'd even had it?

One friend has long pressured me to do something symbolic to address the end of my relationship with L, something firm that would show it. He reminded me of how when he decided to go back and finish college he shaved his head. Everyone noticed something was different and it gave impetus to the change. Tonight was my night for that.

I avoided the beach itself all weekend until last night, focusing on enjoying my favorite relaxing spots around the town. As the sun began to fall I drove out to the ocean, my last chance to see it before leaving in the morning. The air was salty and the tide was rolling out, and a few campfires were lit by lifeguards celebrating the end of the day. I pulled the picture of her out of my wallet and stared it as I approached the beach she had loved so much.

I remembered the first time I brought her here, a winter day too cold to swim- she was in a hooded sweatshirt and sandy blue-jeans. She leapt out of the car excited, jumping up and down like a hyperactive toddler, smiling. We had often talked about going swimming in the ocean and making love in the evening and, though we had almost tried once or twice, our courage had always failed us. Instead we'd eat sandwiches or donuts, depending on the time of day, and play. Playing- innocently, without the pain, was something I don't think we could ever have anymore. The picture, having outlasted two wallets, had now lived beyond the relationship itself.

I bent down as the tide rolled in and pushed it to the bottom of the shallows, I couldn't see it as the water pulled it out to become part of the ocean. I didn't cry, I didn't have time to let that out, but I savored the moment and felt it- the wind, the water, the sadness, the regret, the love for her. It didn't magically change me the way baptisms are supposed to- there is now a hole in my wallet matching the hole in my life where her picture had stayed hidden. But, like my friend shaving his head, it helped somehow- I had done something. Letting her picture drift out to sea- it honored the ocean that I loved so much and it honored the time we spent together, I let her go out of my life like an old dead king- loved, adorned in treasure, dead, and burning- drifting on the oceans and dancing with ghosts.

Today I realized that perhaps some other  people may be doing the same thing to me. I thought about people who I at some point in the last two months I spoke to almost daily--for me that's huge--that I barely speak to any longer. Some of them, I know exactly why we don't speak, but others, linger in my mind. I have no idea why. Where did they go?

I recieve love in different ways.  But each way is important.

I just finished my last week at work.  I am leaving for Peru in less than 12 hours and then heading to Texas for a year long internship.  So I said goodbye to my work family.  It was hard to say goodbye.  For months leading up to my last day, all my co-workers pestered me not to leave.  They even told me that I wasn't leaving.  I laughed nervously every time and said, "yeah, I am leaving. Sorry."  HAHA ( I would laugh sheepishly).  It is hard to say goodbye. 

But in all of this I saw just how much they all loved me.  On my last day, we celebrated with a lunch.  They treated me :).  And then, even said I could leave early and clock it as a full day!  I ended up staying longer, but that was good.  I was lingering because I almost didn't want to leave.  My boss gave me a bonus.  A HUGE BONUS.  I was totally blown away!!!!!!!!!!  I didn't know what to say.  Yes, I was speechless.  They also said if I come back early or even after the full year, I would still have a job with them. 

This is the favor of GOD!!!!  All I can say is that I am blessed beyond words.  And this is all because of the faovr of the Lord on my life.  Thank you Jesus for a new life in you, a fuller, richer, blessed life in YOU!  All glory and honor to the Lord, Jesus Christ.  I am nothing without him.  THANK YOU!!!